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Subject: "How do you have this uncomfortable conversation at work..." Previous topic | Next topic
CRichMonkey
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49444 posts
Thu Mar-19-15 02:24 PM

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"How do you have this uncomfortable conversation at work..."


  

          

Aiight, so we have a young lady here who dresses... uh... er... inappropriately for the professional environment.

Like, her heels are just a little too high and her jeans are just a lot too tight.

Now, me myself, I got nothing against it because she's not in a client facing role and it's not like she's hurting anyone.

But the higher ups have an issue.

So how does one casually, but not assholishly, say, "Hey girl, you need to turn the sexy down. We're trying to manage P&Ls, not T&A."?

(too bad we gotta do this before it gets warm though)



my avy: Deep in your heart, you know he's right: http://coreyrichardsonneedsajob.com/
my hustle: http://SupaSoulSounds.com

*RIP: John T. "220v" Richardson, Blessing Benson, and Dilla*

  

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Topic Outline
Subject Author Message Date ID
MANDATE
Mar 19th 2015
1
good question. i don't think i'd use words like 'sexy'
Mar 19th 2015
2
def HR, and the words are "revealing" and "form-fitting"
Mar 19th 2015
5
YOU don't say anything to her. Inform HR about the issue.
Mar 19th 2015
3
yup.. this is a job for HR or a woman with influence
Mar 20th 2015
19
show her what she's in violation of in the handbook. If there isn't
Mar 19th 2015
4
this is why God created HR departments..
Mar 19th 2015
6
Only old white women complain about this in the workplace....
Mar 19th 2015
7
Let her know you heard through the grapevine
Mar 19th 2015
8
not this way
Mar 20th 2015
20
as a male in management, i'm not addressing it with her directly.
Mar 19th 2015
9
task a woman at the job you trust to bring it up to her
Mar 19th 2015
10
Get a woman in HR to talk to her. Any dude might find himself fired.
Mar 19th 2015
11
first off...you gotta have some work in order to have the uncomfy convo.
Mar 19th 2015
12
100% HR's job
Mar 19th 2015
13
Where the instagram?
Mar 20th 2015
14
JETS
Mar 20th 2015
15
If she's not violating the current code/policy, can't nobody say...
Mar 20th 2015
16
Could you walk us through how a man could have this conversation?
Mar 20th 2015
22
      Drop a dime on e'rybody who talking about her & her alphets!
Mar 20th 2015
23
High heels should not be an issue if she's otherwise covered
Mar 20th 2015
17
her jeans are just a lot too tight.
Mar 20th 2015
18
Sorry, but these just aren't appropriate for work:
Mar 20th 2015
21
      a former co-worker actually wore
Mar 20th 2015
24

John Forte
Member since Feb 22nd 2013
15330 posts
Thu Mar-19-15 02:25 PM

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1. "MANDATE"
In response to Reply # 0


          

  

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Deadzombie
Member since Aug 21st 2008
13358 posts
Thu Mar-19-15 02:27 PM

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2. "good question. i don't think i'd use words like 'sexy'"
In response to Reply # 0


          

as a matter of fact, i don't think i'd say anything.

i'd let HR do their job.

there's no way to bring it up without seeming like:

you like it.
you want it.
you gay.

  

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John Forte
Member since Feb 22nd 2013
15330 posts
Thu Mar-19-15 02:29 PM

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5. "def HR, and the words are "revealing" and "form-fitting""
In response to Reply # 2


          

  

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Kira
Member since Nov 14th 2004
28397 posts
Thu Mar-19-15 02:28 PM

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3. "YOU don't say anything to her. Inform HR about the issue."
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

You speaking to her about this issue can be taken the wrong way and result in punishment. This situation warrants you keeping it moving because the decision makers are well aware of this issue and in the process of taking care of it.

  

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legsdiamond
Member since May 05th 2011
71049 posts
Fri Mar-20-15 08:59 AM

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19. "yup.. this is a job for HR or a woman with influence"
In response to Reply # 3


          

  

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Cenario
Member since Aug 24th 2005
57399 posts
Thu Mar-19-15 02:29 PM

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4. "show her what she's in violation of in the handbook. If there isn't "
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

anything in the handbook about it, the powers that be need to change the handbook so that it addresses her dress.

Give her two weeks to change, when she don't, see step 1.

-The Knicks’ coaching search still includes a lone frontrunner, Kurt Rambis, whose qualifications for the position include a strong relationship with Jackson and a willingness to take the job.

  

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SoWhat
Charter member
154163 posts
Thu Mar-19-15 02:32 PM

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6. "this is why God created HR departments.."
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

she'd have that conversation w/HR.

fuck you.

  

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Fishgrease
Member since Feb 13th 2006
34445 posts
Thu Mar-19-15 02:33 PM

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7. "Only old white women complain about this in the workplace...."
In response to Reply # 0
Thu Mar-19-15 02:33 PM by Fishgrease

  

          

let HR handle it.

---------------------------------------
blog: www.wonderfullyhorrible.blogspot.com
instagram: Fishgrease
twitter: wooly_caesar
Podcast www.soundcloud.com/circlegang

  

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initiationofplato
Member since Nov 06th 2013
2420 posts
Thu Mar-19-15 02:34 PM

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8. "Let her know you heard through the grapevine"
In response to Reply # 0


          

That certain people are taking offense to her dress and that you think it would be wise for her to tone it down.

~Experience is the currency of the soul.

  

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Crash Bandacoot
Member since May 13th 2003
9951 posts
Fri Mar-20-15 09:03 AM

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20. "not this way"
In response to Reply # 8


          

>

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
instagram:
http://instagram.com/0kayndc

"There is much temptation to use what has worked before,
even when it may exceed its effective scope."

"Roll me further bitch"

  

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BigJazz
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24443 posts
Thu Mar-19-15 02:34 PM

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9. "as a male in management, i'm not addressing it with her directly. "
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

i'm getting a female manager to say what needs to be said or i'm sending it to HR.

there was one time where i had the world's worst director and her clown ass directed me to tell one of my direct reports that her v-neck had too much V and too much neck cuz her goods were all on display.

i told her i didn't feel comfortable doing it and she insisted.

rather than go around her and involve HR, i had the convo with the worker.

it was awkward as hell but i finessed it with personality and luckily we had a good rapport so it didn't turn into something bad like it could have.

i used it as an excuse to take a 2 hour lunch that day and the director didn't care cuz when i returned, the difficult conversation that she didn't want to have was done...

***
I'm tryna be better off, not better than...

  

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double negative
Member since Dec 14th 2007
22021 posts
Thu Mar-19-15 02:39 PM

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10. "task a woman at the job you trust to bring it up to her"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

***********************************************************
https://soundcloud.com/swageyph/yph-die-with-me

  

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8-bit
Member since Jan 12th 2010
10841 posts
Thu Mar-19-15 02:55 PM

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11. "Get a woman in HR to talk to her. Any dude might find himself fired."
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

---
http://twitter.com/logicalhood
http://instagram.com/hoodlogic

  

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Binlahab
Charter member
182837 posts
Thu Mar-19-15 03:01 PM

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12. "first off...you gotta have some work in order to have the uncomfy convo."
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

Let's start there.


does it really matter?

wonder what bin's doing?
http://i.imgur.com/phECCMp.jpg

  

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Sarah_Bellum
Charter member
7488 posts
Thu Mar-19-15 05:41 PM

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13. "100% HR's job"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

Not yours. Do not under any circumstances comment on a woman's clothing at work more than to say "blue is really your color"
If your boss put you up to this then watch your back, he's either smart or dumb.
___________________________________________________________


DJTB YOMM

  

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Doronmonkflake
Member since Jan 10th 2007
11078 posts
Fri Mar-20-15 03:34 AM

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14. "Where the instagram?"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

Da bayball, babeh. (c) Charlie Kelly.

  

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FLUIDJ
Member since Sep 18th 2002
43872 posts
Fri Mar-20-15 07:01 AM

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15. "JETS"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

somebody told you there was an issue?
or is it just you?

  

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Creole
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15415 posts
Fri Mar-20-15 08:02 AM

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16. "If she's not violating the current code/policy, can't nobody say..."
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

SHIT!

If she is, then HR should facilitate the convo since the men are too chicken shit to do it.

There's a way to having the conversation without coming off as a sexist or harassing. My only hope is that the "new rule" is applied evenly across the board.

  

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8-bit
Member since Jan 12th 2010
10841 posts
Fri Mar-20-15 09:16 AM

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22. "Could you walk us through how a man could have this conversation?"
In response to Reply # 16


  

          

>There's a way to having the conversation without coming off as
>a sexist or harassing.

---
http://twitter.com/logicalhood
http://instagram.com/hoodlogic

  

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Creole
Charter member
15415 posts
Fri Mar-20-15 10:14 AM

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23. "Drop a dime on e'rybody who talking about her & her alphets!"
In response to Reply # 22


  

          

jk

I believe it would be difficult but that it can be done.

Now, that I think about this, it would be extremely difficult to do if it is not clearly a violation of the current policy/code.

And if not a violation, bammas need to get over themselves and let that lady cook how she sees fit.

  

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ndibs
Member since Aug 06th 2012
12715 posts
Fri Mar-20-15 08:09 AM

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17. "High heels should not be an issue if she's otherwise covered "
In response to Reply # 0


          

Appropriately...

  

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legsdiamond
Member since May 05th 2011
71049 posts
Fri Mar-20-15 08:11 AM

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18. "her jeans are just a lot too tight."
In response to Reply # 17


          

  

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8-bit
Member since Jan 12th 2010
10841 posts
Fri Mar-20-15 09:10 AM

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21. "Sorry, but these just aren't appropriate for work:"
In response to Reply # 17


  

          

https://ibrokemyumbrella.files.wordpress.com/2012/04/hooker-heels.jpg

Just because they fall under the category of "high heels" doesn't mean they are something she should wear to a professional office.

---
http://twitter.com/logicalhood
http://instagram.com/hoodlogic

  

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Crash Bandacoot
Member since May 13th 2003
9951 posts
Fri Mar-20-15 10:47 AM

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24. "a former co-worker actually wore"
In response to Reply # 21
Fri Mar-20-15 10:51 AM by Crash Bandacoot

          

something similar quite a few times. in the beginning,
didn't understand why she wore them but, she's now
sitting in a nice GS upper level gig. so...to each
his own, lol
>


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
instagram:
http://instagram.com/0kayndc

"There is much temptation to use what has worked before,
even when it may exceed its effective scope."

"Roll me further bitch"

  

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