"On Long Distance Relationships: What's your opinion? Good or Bad"
I usually don't tell my personal business on here (except for my son). But it's 2015 and I promised y'all that I would do better. So, I have embarked on a long-distance relationship. And I have to tell you, this is very different for me and I'm hoping that it will work.
I met the young lady over the Thanksgiving holiday in VA. But I live in the ATL and she lives in NYC. Nevertheless, from the time that I met her on 11/29/2014 we have only missed about 3 days without talking. She has been down to the ATL twice to spend the MLK Holiday weekend in Jan with me and the other time was for an whole week in Feb. During both visits we had amazing times and our chemistry is great.
To be honest, I meet a lot of quality and beautiful women in the "A", but this sister is special and we are on the same page about a lot of things and life. She's different for my normal professional, educated, model chick that I normally date. And I say that because I needed someone that didn't fit the same old mold and standard. I needed someone that was just as beautiful on the inside and she is on the outside, focused, motivated and grounded about life. Well, she is all of those things and more. She's a real Woman's Woman and a great conversational. We text every day and she's very supportive and motivating about life. She's like a breath for fresh air.
I know that this sound crazy, but we recently decided to make it official as a couple. It was kind of easy for me since I had slowly let the other straggles drift off. I guess I was anticipating this moment. But at the same time it's still crazy for me because I'm the kind of dude that likes to spend QT and romance time with that special lady. Yeah, Facetime helps, but it's not the same. I recently sent some flowers unexpectedly to her job - got 100 point for that..LOL
I need to set up a travel date this month to go see her. I'm willing to try and make this a success. It's just all new.
Anyway, I'm open and wiling to hear suggestions. So if you have'em let'em fly.
. . . "Today is your day to have a better life -- it's your right."
1. "I can do medium-distance, but not long-distance" In response to Reply # 0
I'm defining "medium" as less than four hours driving (roughly NYC to DC). That way, we could potentially see each other whenever, including random nights (just gotta get up early to do that XXXL commute back).
Long-distance is just too much for me. Trains, buses and even cars become unrealistic at that distance. Having to book a flight to see my beau just ain't happening for me.
2. "They aren't good or bad, they are just difficult. " In response to Reply # 0
I've have had three significant ones and then a lot of other ones that were more casual. In a business where you work nights and travel a ton, a local relationship can feel long distance, too (and, for my colleagues, LDRs are also common).
They are not easy to manage but they can be cool. In some ways there is less pressure. In some ways there is a lot more doubts.
One thing to think about early on is how much you can realistically see each other and I don't mean on Skype or any shit like that. ATL-NYC is a common route but we are still talking a plane ride.
And you will know MY JACKET IS GOLD when I lay my vengeance upon thee.
12. "to me that kind of stuff is largely a nuisance/hard to maintain" In response to Reply # 10
i dunno man, just enjoy it for what it is now but make sure you can actually see each other, like in person. honeymoon phase won't be shit without the fucking amirite?
then from there if you can still tolerate each other, you'll figure out how to close the gaps.
And you will know MY JACKET IS GOLD when I lay my vengeance upon thee.
4. "been there done that, wouldnt do it again personally" In response to Reply # 0
I truly loved her but my job made it so that it wasn't realistic that I would move out of my city in the foreseeable future... same with her, she was in school... the time we shared was great though...
I do remember spending a 2-3 weeks stretch at her place one time and seeing a side of her personality that I wasn't aware... daily texts and convos on the phone will only let u know so much about someone.... even married couple will tell u there's a difference between dating someone and living with them... when they r in ur face 24/7, u get to see if yall really meant to be together....
******************************************************* i will not let finite disappointment undermine infinite hope - Cory Booker
Football is a simple game; 22 men chase a ball for 90 minutes, and at the end the Germans always win - Gary Lineker
-DJ R-Tistic- Member since Nov 06th 2008 51986 posts
Tue Mar-10-15 03:46 PM
7. "I've personally had bad luck even trying to get to know a girl LD" In response to Reply # 0
And the main thing was that the phone convos were great both times. Like almost too good. But the chemistry in person was waaaaaaay off, even though we actually met in person (as opposed to meeting online AND long distance).
15. "things move faster and yet slower at the same time in LDRs" In response to Reply # 0 Tue Mar-10-15 05:18 PM by Regina Rose
you may say 'I love you' even though you've only seen this person once which can be viewed as fast
but it takes longer for people's "representative" to drop down if ever it does
-- the one thing one should always be aware of is how unconsciously you both will put forth an effort for your meetings to be perfect because they are rare which can cause you to ignore things or skip over issues because you don't want to 'ruin your short trip' however if they came up in a 'normal' relationship they would get dealt in one way or another
edit: I realized I didn't answer the question.. I've done it and it was LONG distance 6 hours time difference north america-europe and we were together for a long time I *personally* will never ever do that again with no end date (that's not marriage) and to be really honest I'd rather get dropped kicked in the chest than to go through that again.
19. "get that Highway Ministry poppin! " In response to Reply # 0
But in 2015....with all the technology available to be able to actually SEE a person daily.....I dunno that it should be as big an issue as it once was. Knowing that you're a 'man of the cloth', and physical intimacy isn't a major factor, I can't see a valid reason not to go forth. GET DIS MONEY!!!!..... err..wrong post..sorry...
20. "you gotta have a plan..." In response to Reply # 0
if you're just kinda seeing how shit goes it's not likely to work but if you have to be apart for a period of time because of a job or whatever but you got a plan to reunite in due time then at least you have something to shoot for. i think that's the only way it works...otherwise it's too hard to stay motivated to making it work.
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