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Lobby General Discussion topic #12733023

Subject: "This is really bugging me and I wish I could've done something" Previous topic | Next topic
janey
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123117 posts
Fri Feb-20-15 08:21 PM

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"This is really bugging me and I wish I could've done something"


  

          

actually, I mean I wish I HAD done something. My priorities were messed up.

I had an 8:15 AM appt this morning downtown in a 6-floor building. Some of the floors require sign-in before 9. The floor I was going to is opened at 7.

Okay. So, as it happens, the security guard is Asian. As I came into the building today, two people who were also evidently involved in building management and were also Asian were getting on the elevator, and a young Black man was also getting on the elevator. I got on the elevator.

The two building people watched the young man try to punch two different floor numbers and then asked him where he was going. He didn't understand them and when he finally understood what was being asked, he replied and they didn't understand him. They finally made it clear to him that he needed to register at the front desk before the floor he wanted would be unlocked.

This young man looked at the white woman who could punch the floor she wanted and at the two Asian people who were telling him to get off the elevator and sign in, and he said, in real distress, "that's as racist as FUCK."

I didn't think quickly enough. I should have gotten off the elevator right then and given him a better explanation -- that it has to do with when certain floors open and not anything to do with who's trying to get to those floors.

I was late for my appointment and I thought I couldn't help. I still don't know if I could have helped in any way but it really bothers me that I thought more about being late than I thought about his distress.

And you know, it's not that I'm trying to argue that there isn't plenty of racism here. I'm not. But this wasn't an example of it, and I hate for him to think that every single interaction he has is driven by racism.

I just had to get this off my chest. I feel so bad for that young man.


~ ~ ~
All meetings end in separation
All acquisition ends in dispersion
All life ends in death
- The Buddha

|\_/|
='_'=

Every hundred years, all new people

  

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Topic Outline
Subject Author Message Date ID
nah, he just needs to grow up...
Feb 20th 2015
1
the front desk has a register
Feb 20th 2015
5
      that info/policy should be clearly posted...
Feb 21st 2015
8
I bet he'll post about it this weekend.
Feb 20th 2015
2
If he does, could you point him to this thread? ;-)
Feb 20th 2015
6
lol
Feb 20th 2015
7
Were you late? How late?
Feb 20th 2015
3
like 7 minutes
Feb 20th 2015
4
      Less than 10 minutes so you're good
Feb 21st 2015
10
he'll be fine...you didn't do anything wrong
Feb 21st 2015
9
but you trying to whitesplain away his experience of racism
Feb 21st 2015
11
If he's normal, he'll live
Feb 21st 2015
12
Typo
Feb 22nd 2015
14
so he thought the elevator was racist?
Feb 21st 2015
13
Like auto faucets ?
Feb 22nd 2015
16
His thinking is silly.
Feb 22nd 2015
15
so, no one is familiar with racial neurosis? okay player.
Feb 22nd 2015
17
overwhelmingly the #1 factor of whether people stop to help someone
Feb 22nd 2015
18
RE: This is really bugging me and I wish I could've done something
Feb 23rd 2015
19
he sounds ignorant.
Feb 23rd 2015
20

CyrenYoung
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32762 posts
Fri Feb-20-15 08:32 PM

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1. "nah, he just needs to grow up..."
In response to Reply # 0
Fri Feb-20-15 08:33 PM by CyrenYoung

  

          

..i understand the situation (and your genuine concern), but every inconvenience in this world isn't because of racism.

making assumptions based on your surroundings (which is what he did) isn't the smartest thing to do when people are trying to help you. the problem wasn't the language barrier/miscommunication. the real issue is that he took offense to someone giving him instructions that he didn't like.

*not sure if that info is clearly posted somewhere in that lobby, but it should be.

our studio is in a bldg that requires badging or sign-in for guest & deliveries during off-hours. i've seen quite a few similar scenarios play out in the same fashion because someone assumed that they were being profiled unfairly.

the truth is: that signage is required for the safety of everyone in the bldg.


*skatin' the rings of saturn*


..and miles to go before i sleep...

  

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janey
Charter member
123117 posts
Fri Feb-20-15 09:03 PM

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5. "the front desk has a register"
In response to Reply # 1


  

          

but the policy isn't posted, and he saw three people getting on an elevator without signing in. I appreciate your perspective and I hope sometime he gets a broader understanding of this kind of policy, but I just really feel for him right now.

~ ~ ~
All meetings end in separation
All acquisition ends in dispersion
All life ends in death
- The Buddha

|\_/|
='_'=

Every hundred years, all new people

  

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CyrenYoung
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32762 posts
Sat Feb-21-15 12:12 AM

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8. "that info/policy should be clearly posted..."
In response to Reply # 5


  

          

..for everyone to see.

you can't do anything about the past, but its never too late to correct the issue.


*skatin' the rings of saturn*


..and miles to go before i sleep...

  

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GrumpySmurf
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3375 posts
Fri Feb-20-15 08:37 PM

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2. "I bet he'll post about it this weekend."
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

  

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janey
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123117 posts
Fri Feb-20-15 09:04 PM

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6. "If he does, could you point him to this thread? ;-)"
In response to Reply # 2


  

          


~ ~ ~
All meetings end in separation
All acquisition ends in dispersion
All life ends in death
- The Buddha

|\_/|
='_'=

Every hundred years, all new people

  

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legsdiamond
Member since May 05th 2011
69175 posts
Fri Feb-20-15 09:05 PM

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7. "lol"
In response to Reply # 2


          

  

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Mgmt
Member since Feb 17th 2005
21363 posts
Fri Feb-20-15 08:39 PM

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3. "Were you late? How late?"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

>actually, I mean I wish I HAD done something. My priorities
>were messed up.
>
>I had an 8:15 AM appt this morning downtown in a 6-floor
>building. Some of the floors require sign-in before 9. The
>floor I was going to is opened at 7.
>
>Okay. So, as it happens, the security guard is Asian. As I
>came into the building today, two people who were also
>evidently involved in building management and were also Asian
>were getting on the elevator, and a young Black man was also
>getting on the elevator. I got on the elevator.
>
>The two building people watched the young man try to punch two
>different floor numbers and then asked him where he was going.
> He didn't understand them and when he finally understood what
>was being asked, he replied and they didn't understand him.
>They finally made it clear to him that he needed to register
>at the front desk before the floor he wanted would be
>unlocked.
>
>This young man looked at the white woman who could punch the
>floor she wanted and at the two Asian people who were telling
>him to get off the elevator and sign in, and he said, in real
>distress, "that's as racist as FUCK."
>
>I didn't think quickly enough. I should have gotten off the
>elevator right then and given him a better explanation -- that
>it has to do with when certain floors open and not anything to
>do with who's trying to get to those floors.
>
>I was late for my appointment and I thought I couldn't help.
>I still don't know if I could have helped in any way but it
>really bothers me that I thought more about being late than I
>thought about his distress.
>
>And you know, it's not that I'm trying to argue that there
>isn't plenty of racism here. I'm not. But this wasn't an
>example of it, and I hate for him to think that every single
>interaction he has is driven by racism.
>
>I just had to get this off my chest. I feel so bad for that
>young man.
>
>
>~ ~ ~
>All meetings end in separation
>All acquisition ends in dispersion
>All life ends in death
>- The Buddha
>
>|\_/|
>='_'=
>
>Every hundred years, all new people

  

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janey
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123117 posts
Fri Feb-20-15 09:02 PM

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4. "like 7 minutes"
In response to Reply # 3


  

          

it's a standing appointment and I had had a conversation with them a few weeks ago in which they said they were understaffed on Fridays and if I'm late I may have to wait for a while. So I was being selfish and thoughtless.

~ ~ ~
All meetings end in separation
All acquisition ends in dispersion
All life ends in death
- The Buddha

|\_/|
='_'=

Every hundred years, all new people

  

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Mgmt
Member since Feb 17th 2005
21363 posts
Sat Feb-21-15 01:38 AM

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10. "Less than 10 minutes so you're good "
In response to Reply # 4


  

          

Would've been a bit longer if you would've Dove into someone's mentally unstable immature horseshit

  

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gumz
Member since Jan 09th 2005
20118 posts
Sat Feb-21-15 01:05 AM

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9. "he'll be fine...you didn't do anything wrong"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

http://www.youtube.com/user/gumzization
twitter: @BrosefMalone

  

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dba_BAD
Charter member
14873 posts
Sat Feb-21-15 01:42 AM

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11. "but you trying to whitesplain away his experience of racism"
In response to Reply # 0
Sat Feb-21-15 01:43 AM by dba_BAD

          

could have also been exhausting for him

__

fairweather

  

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dafriquan
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24695 posts
Sat Feb-21-15 05:11 AM

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12. "If he's normal, he'll live"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

And if he's the type that looks for signs of racism in all his interactions, the elevator experience delivered and was think piece/fb status worthy. So either way he's straight.

Ps I don't think carefully parsing seemingly-racist instances from actually racist instances only make a difference to the victim if instances of actual racism were a rare occurence in his/her life.

  

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dafriquan
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24695 posts
Sun Feb-22-15 08:44 AM

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14. "Typo"
In response to Reply # 12


  

          


>Ps I *think* carefully parsing seemingly-racist instances
>from actually racist instances only make a difference to the
>victim if instances of actual racism were a rare occurence in
>his/her life.

  

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Cenario
Member since Aug 24th 2005
57152 posts
Sat Feb-21-15 09:43 AM

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13. "so he thought the elevator was racist?"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

-The Knicks’ coaching search still includes a lone frontrunner, Kurt Rambis, whose qualifications for the position include a strong relationship with Jackson and a willingness to take the job.

  

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ndibs
Member since Aug 06th 2012
12715 posts
Sun Feb-22-15 10:26 AM

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16. "Like auto faucets ?"
In response to Reply # 13


          

It saw his dark hands and were like nope.

  

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ndibs
Member since Aug 06th 2012
12715 posts
Sun Feb-22-15 10:25 AM

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15. "His thinking is silly. "
In response to Reply # 0


          

I'm sure they explained it to him and if after that he didn't believe the Asian security guy he probably wasn't going to believe a middle aged white lady.

Any sane normal person would have asked why and gotten a good explanation before crying racism. You're not responsible for dealing with people who have issues.

  

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double negative
Member since Dec 14th 2007
21760 posts
Sun Feb-22-15 10:37 AM

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17. "so, no one is familiar with racial neurosis? okay player. "
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

it happens

humans walk through life unsure about the intentions of others

and

we are for the most part insecure

add a layer of negative racial energy / racial hyper awareness

and you get situations like this where you are a. unsure of yourself and b. not sure if there is a racial component to the interaction


he just cracked and didnt keep a cool head about it

***********************************************************
https://soundcloud.com/swageyph/yph-die-with-me

  

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theprofessional
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8761 posts
Sun Feb-22-15 02:16 PM

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18. "overwhelmingly the #1 factor of whether people stop to help someone"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

is whether they have somewhere else to be in that moment. so if you were late to wherever you were going and decided not to "help" (debatable whether you could call it that, as the guy would've gotten the same explanation that you would've given him at the front desk), that doesn't really say anything about your character one way or another. it's human nature.

"i smack clowns with nouns, punch herbs with verbs..."

  

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jane eyre
Member since Jan 16th 2007
707 posts
Mon Feb-23-15 01:23 AM

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19. "RE: This is really bugging me and I wish I could've done something"
In response to Reply # 0
Mon Feb-23-15 01:26 AM by jane eyre

          

>And you know, it's not that I'm trying to argue that there
>isn't plenty of racism here. I'm not. But this wasn't an
>example of it, and I hate for him to think that every single
>interaction he has is driven by racism.

Intrigued. What makes you think the guy thinks every single interaction he has is driven by racism?

My guess? I doubt he thinks every single interaction he has is driven by racism. Likely, he at least has friends, loved ones, and family who interact with him in non-racist ways. Hopefully he spends quality time with them, which may likely help him to differentiate between racist and non-racist interactions. I can only pray that's the case. But who knows? Family and friends can be complicated.

Helping Black folks understand/"see" when racism isn't happening is neither here nor there. Because ultimately, the issue of racism isn't about Black perceptions and how accurate such perceptions might be.

I think it was best that you did nothing.

> I feel so bad for that young man.

Why?


  

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BrooklynWHAT
Member since Jun 15th 2007
80893 posts
Mon Feb-23-15 01:55 AM

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20. "he sounds ignorant."
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

<--- Big Baller World Order

  

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