Either the story is poorly written or im not understanding correctly. The story states that judging from the text messages it was clear that they had relations. Then towards the end the story states that the suspects dad claims that he was supposed to meet up with the victim for a sexual favor until he discovered that she was a man.
Somebody lying. If it was clear from the text messages that they had, had relations before then how they " meet up " and all of a sudden he found out she was a man. Sounds more like the guy was DL imo and didn't want his secret out.
Do you think transgender ppl should disclose that they've had gender reassignment surgery to prospective partners?
3. "i get it." In response to Reply # 0 Tue Feb-10-15 02:49 PM by SoWhat
>http://t.co/8c9aE8Jv1X > >Either the story is poorly written or im not understanding >correctly. The story states that judging from the text >messages it was clear that they had relations.
some transfolks are wonderfully skilled at the art of illusion. the illusion can be maintained even in intimate settings - even throughout sexual relations.
'relations' could mean Underwood (the deceased) performed oral sex on Champion. or that Underwood had receptive anal sex w/Champion. it could also mean that Underwood had receptive vaginal sex w/Champion after having had sexual reassignment surgery. if any of those occurred it's possible that Champion wouldn't know that Underwood was a transwoman.
Then towards >the end the story states that the suspects dad claims that he >was supposed to meet up with the victim for a sexual favor >until he discovered that she was a man.
'meeting up for a sexual favor' could mean anything.
>Somebody lying. If it was clear from the text messages that >they had, had relations before then how they " meet up " and >all of a sudden he found out she was a man.
someone could've told Champion and when he confronted Underwood w/the info he didn't like what he heard from her and he snapped.
Sounds more like >the guy was DL imo and didn't want his secret out.
not necessarily.
>Do you think transgender ppl should disclose that they've had >gender reassignment surgery to prospective partners?
4. "Hmmm. What's your rationale?" In response to Reply # 3
>>Do you think transgender ppl should disclose that they've >had >>gender reassignment surgery to prospective partners? > >not necessarily. especially not early on.
6. "cases like this, for starters." In response to Reply # 4
the risk of harm including great bodily injury and possibly death is very real for transfolks. and police and prosecutors in most of the country aren't particularly sympathetic to trans as victims. so they're kinda out there on their own.
but that's just the start. if the info is revealed w/o the proper context having been wrapped around it the potential budding relationship (sexual, romantic, platonic, i dunno) could be compromised unnecessarily.
it all depends on the circumstances where the transperson has met __. if they met under circumstances that indicate __ is sympathetic to trans issues and/or won't be turned off then i think it's a good idea to disclose early on. disclose and minimize and move on. if the circumstances make one unsure about the level of sympathy or interest in trans issues then it's a good idea to wait a little longer before the disclosure.
18. "RE: i'm not saying that." In response to Reply # 16
Ok now you're pushing it.
Thats puts them in harm's way.
The average non-incarcerated hetero male is not gonna take it so well if he finds out after the fact that he's been intimate with a woman that was once a boy. Unless he's already open to the idea, It's definitely not one of those good surprises.
>again, what if there's only a hit and quit it blow job? the >2 never see each other again. they both leave the situation >satisfied. > >let's assume for the sake of this discussion that if the >transperson had disclosed the situation would've blown up. > >what good was the disclosure? it would've kept both parties >from getting what they wanted out of the situation. > >again: i don't advocate for a necessary disclosure before >intimate relations. it varies.
If that sort of thing really matters to a heterosexual man, how about being really careful about who you sleep with?
53. "lol...what does that even mean?" In response to Reply # 32
>If that sort of thing really matters to a heterosexual man, >how about being really careful about who you sleep with?
don't PC it up too much fam to the point it takes out of the realm of reality. you know it matters to most hetero men.
what does this being careful entail? asking every woman we meet if they had ever biologically been a boy or man? in case down the line we ended up having some type of sexual contact with them?
54. "stop fucking random hoes*" In response to Reply # 53 Tue Feb-10-15 10:34 PM by SoWhat
and then acting brand new when you find out something shocking about them after having fucked them* w/o vetting them first via the dating process.
basically.
*...we were discussing a hit and quit it blow job after i'd proposed that i'm fine w/a transwoman not disclosing her trans status to a guy before a hit it and quit it b-j. if a dude doesn't want to take the risk of getting a HIQI BJ from a transwoman who doesn't disclose then maybe he shouldn't have HIQI BJ's. the analysis extends to casual sex w/randoms.
SimplyHannah Member since Aug 09th 2009 7226 posts
Wed Feb-11-15 08:54 AM
58. "or transwonen should date people they know are comfortable with dating" In response to Reply # 54
Transwomen. There are dating sites for it and meet ups that are held. That way there is no deception and they have an increased chance of meeting someone that accepts and is into them.
64. "same can be said about the trans individual" In response to Reply # 54
don't be blowing random dudes that might kill if they found out the truth after the fact.
-The Knicks’ coaching search still includes a lone frontrunner, Kurt Rambis, whose qualifications for the position include a strong relationship with Jackson and a willingness to take the job.
i don't think they necessarily need to disclose before being physically intimate
-The Knicks’ coaching search still includes a lone frontrunner, Kurt Rambis, whose qualifications for the position include a strong relationship with Jackson and a willingness to take the job.
39. "But if the threat of violence is there from disclosure at first interact..." In response to Reply # 12 Tue Feb-10-15 05:31 PM by PimpTrickGangstaClik
why increase the risk of violence by proceeding further under deception?
It seems like the threat of violence is soooo much greater after intimacy occurs.
Like I could see someone simply being disgusted after finding out that they were hitting on a transgender person. But I could see that same person getting VIOLENT after kissing (or more) this person and finding out the facts later.
SimplyHannah Member since Aug 09th 2009 7226 posts
Tue Feb-10-15 03:05 PM
11. "you dont think it's selfish of them to withhold that type of info?" In response to Reply # 6
I get it, because the threat of violence against transgender people is REAL, but withholding that type of info also lacks consideration towards the other party as well. You could very well be putting them in a position that compromises their morals/beliefs/religion ect ect. And we know people that type of stuff seriously.
Also you don't think withholding that information for an extended period of time then telling them or them finding out increases the risk of violence?
14. "i think their self-preservation is more important." In response to Reply # 11
so yeah, it's selfish. and i don't mind it at all. i think that's a situation where they're wise to be selfish and cautious given the risk of harm.
>I get it, because the threat of violence against transgender >people is REAL, but withholding that type of info also lacks >consideration towards the other party as well. You could very >well be putting them in a position that compromises their >morals/beliefs/religion ect ect. And we know people that type >of stuff seriously.
*shrugs*
>Also you don't think withholding that information for an >extended period of time then telling them or them finding out >increases the risk of violence?
sure. and there's a balance to be struck. which is why there's no good hard/fast rule that will apply in all cases.
SimplyHannah Member since Aug 09th 2009 7226 posts
Tue Feb-10-15 03:26 PM
26. "Ahh okay, makes sense" In response to Reply # 3
>>http://t.co/8c9aE8Jv1X >> >>Either the story is poorly written or im not understanding >>correctly. The story states that judging from the text >>messages it was clear that they had relations. > >some transfolks are wonderfully skilled at the art of >illusion. the illusion can be maintained even in intimate >settings - even throughout sexual relations. > >'relations' could mean Underwood (the deceased) performed oral >sex on Champion. or that Underwood had receptive anal sex >w/Champion. it could also mean that Underwood had receptive >vaginal sex w/Champion after having had sexual reassignment >surgery. if any of those occurred it's possible that Champion >wouldn't know that Underwood was a transwoman. > > > Then towards >>the end the story states that the suspects dad claims that >he >>was supposed to meet up with the victim for a sexual favor >>until he discovered that she was a man. > >'meeting up for a sexual favor' could mean anything. > >>Somebody lying. If it was clear from the text messages that >>they had, had relations before then how they " meet up " and >>all of a sudden he found out she was a man. > >someone could've told Champion and when he confronted >Underwood w/the info he didn't like what he heard from her and >he snapped. > > Sounds more like >>the guy was DL imo and didn't want his secret out. > >not necessarily.
38. "alot of dating is an illusion period" In response to Reply # 27
you are usually only meeting a persons representative
~~~~ When you are born, you cry, and the world rejoices. Live so that when you die, you rejoice, and the world cries. ~~~~ You cannot hate people for their own good.
43. "^ one reason I think it may be wise to withhold the disclosure for a bit..." In response to Reply # 42
Bc too many ppl have too much curiousity about transppl and especially their bodies and especially their genitalia and that curiousity may cause them to ask inappropriate questions which can derail a date or other situation. And it's just weird. I have heard this from transfolks numerous times.
44. "i would never ask that question" In response to Reply # 43 Tue Feb-10-15 06:48 PM by Crash Bandacoot
to anyone that i know/suspect but, i'm asking it here because i honestly don't know the answer and thought that someone could shed some light. i think it's a pretty good question, no?
>Bc too many ppl have too much curiousity about transppl and >especially their bodies and especially their genitalia and >that curiousity may cause them to ask inappropriate questions >which can derail a date or other situation. And it's just >weird. I have heard this from transfolks numerous times.
Like many cis women, trans women who have had bottom surgery use lubricant for sexual intercourse if they want more wetness than what occurs without the lubricant.
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