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>http://jezebel.com/vaginal-steaming-is-the-only-way-to-solve-your-problems-1682286178
>
>Vaginal Steaming Is the Only Way to Solve Your Problems
>
>January 28, 2015 7:15pm
>
>Vaginal Steaming Is the Only Way to Solve Your Problems
>
>Feeling tired, stressed or a little bit grumpy? Angry at your
>husband/wife/pet cockatoo? Feminine odors got you down? Well,
>there's a centuries-old cure for all of that, and it's getting
>hot air blown all the way up into your laughing place in a
>public setting. And it only costs 50 bucks. Isn't your health
>worth that?
>
>Laura Beck, Jezebel alumna, recently visited a "uterus spa"
>for Fast Company and the experience was... special. Beck, who
>I've been privileged to know for over a decade and whose
>vaginal health I'm always concerned about (some might say too
>concerned) went because Gwyneth Paltrow told her to. And you
>know what the rules are: If Gwyneth says you do it, you do it.
>If Gwyneth's jumping off a cliff, mom: Fuck yeah we're all
>doing it.
>
>From Fast Company:
>
> ...if a skinny blonde in an ugly wig tells me that blowing
>hot air up my vagina is going to cure everything I've ever
>suffered from, including a bad relationship with my mother,
>well, then, I'm gonna listen to Gwyneth Paltrow, because
>girlfriend knows science.
>
> In the latest installment of her essential lifestyle
>newsletter GOOP, Gwyneth recommends something called a
>"V-steam." Let me let her explain, since she's the best in the
>biz:
>
> "You sit on what is essentially a mini-throne, and a
>combination of infrared and mugwort steam cleanses your
>uterus, et al. It is an energetic release—not just a steam
>douche—that balances female hormone levels. If you're in LA,
>you have to do it."
>
>You have to do it, you hear? It's both mandatory and required.
>You're in LA and in possession of a hidey-hole of one type or
>another, so you're going to have to shell out your fucking
>money and squat over a toilet thingie filled with steam and
>hot water and natural essences while the people in the back
>room laugh about how dumb white people are and how they'll pay
>for anything as long as it's touted as "ancient" and
>"holistic."
>
> Entering the vagina steaming room (I just don't know what
>else to call it), I'm faced with what looks like a Victorian
>police cell toilet situated over a steaming pot of Grandma's
>Chai Spice Vagina tea. I hover over the hole in the seat just
>so and then settle down so that the steam may rise into That
>Which Is Most Sacred. I cannot tell a lie: At first, it feels
>incredibly weird to have hot wet air wafting into my cooch. My
>entire body tenses as I actively clench my vaginal muscles to
>protect myself from the invading shower of scorching steam. It
>would feel exactly like the poison fog from the Hunger Games
>arena, I think. First a burning heat and then convulsion after
>convulsion of electric pain!
>
>Beck writes that all claims that vaginal steaming does
>anything but part a fool with his or her money are
>unsubstantiated, and that you can get the same effect just by
>microwaving a glass full of lemon water and squatting over it
>real hard. But anyway, it's really all about the experience,
>and the experience, if these Yelp reviews are to be believed,
>is just amazing. Look at this woman feeling the vaginal steam
>so hard that she put pictures of herself getting her
>shame-basket (I read this on Tumblr and it's literally the
>best way to describe genitals) aerated on public display!
>
>Like all unsubstantiated treatment methods, you can use
>vaginal steam for anything, up to and including infertility
>and weight loss. Or you can just do it because you have $50 to
>throw into the wind. Personally, I'm going to use that money
>to buy a shitload of Kit-Kats and watch television, but then I
>guess I'm kind of shitty at being zen.
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