decaturpsalm Member since Apr 24th 2005 19268 posts
Fri Jan-23-15 02:05 PM
"im really not sure how to navigate this dating age we're in"
everyone seems to be looking for love online be it through a dm or a inbox
the last girl I asked out told me she didnt go out with strangers it would have been better if she just said "nah im good" but it was so confusing isnt everyone you go out with a stranger until you get to know them?
should I have asked for her facebook first?
months before that, a girl asked for my number literally her first text to me was "whats ur ig?" deleted her number
im like theres absolutely nothing you can learn about me from ig
it just feels like no one wants to talk to each other outside of their phone screens
my best friend will swipe endlessly on tinder for hours looking
i just cant do it
_______________________________________ touched like midas these bitch ass niggas they study and bite us.
10. "fuck him and everyone that thinks like him " In response to Reply # 5
that shit is lame that whole way of thinking is lame I like emojis but I am never gonna give them that much power over any part of my life.
speaking of which do you even still actually talk on the phone with people that you date? I can't count how many almost-ships sank when I told them I prefer a phone call to long-ass text conversations. *poof*
decaturpsalm Member since Apr 24th 2005 19268 posts
Fri Jan-23-15 03:35 PM
20. "there are 30yr old women that communicate like that" In response to Reply # 10
im just like ????????? ppl seem to rather share something on social media and watch your reaction to it rather than actually talk to you...its kinda weird
_______________________________________ touched like midas these bitch ass niggas they study and bite us.
8. "Face-to-face hollering has never let me down" In response to Reply # 0
Aren't you like a seven-footer, too? Man, you can rack up in those clubs in ATL.
I don't do the online thing, so getting face-to-face with women was always my best bet. I'm tall too, and I can't effectively use that privilege online.
9. "99 to like 2008 was the sweet spot" In response to Reply # 0
most ppl were still mostly using/getting street holla's and being online augmented that and allowed you to connect with (mostly) like minded ppl who may be out of your social circle or area code seems like shit just went into overdrive once FB dropped the edu requirement and twitter and IG came around myspace was before that but i don't remember it really being a place to get your holla on
people were doing numbers on myspace just like people were doing numbers here I think the problem is that the balance is shifting from mostly offline to now online hollas and American culture is still adjusting to that shift.
15. "I used to pull jawns off of Blackplanet in the late 90s / early 00s" In response to Reply # 9
I was the same as you with myspace. I never really got into that site. I agree that once Facebook & Twitter, and later Instagram took off then folks really went hard at the online thing. Not sure when okcupid started, but that was big a few years back in the day too.
22. "yea i'm not saying you couldn't pull online" In response to Reply # 15
in my OR i say that you could augment your street holla's with the online twist but it just seemed like a niche thing to be doing how many black ppl even had computers in 1999? let's be real here i was waiting 10 minutes for images to load on ampland and color coding the hyperlinks as to not waste time clicking the same shit twice from the gate but the vast majority of cats weren't hype to it back then u really can't compare the two eras of online dating. thus this thread
14. "people really overcomplicate this stuff. you just be yourself!" In response to Reply # 0 Fri Jan-23-15 03:18 PM by Damali
and when you encounter those folks that you mentioned, you know they aren't for you and you keep looking. there's plenty of people with the same sensibilities about social media and dating that you have..someone who DOES want to talk outside their phones/computers...you just gotta be patient until you find them and no "gameplay" or "navigation" will be needed.
i met my husband on okcupid...we both were taking it seriously, filled our profiles out extensively, answered a ton of questions honestly, and we both had the mindset of wanting to meet someone in person right away and not spend days/weeks talking and chatting online or on the phone.
4 years later, we are married. tons of bumps and bruises along that journey tho LOL but hey, we were willing to do the necessary work to get there
blackrussian Member since Oct 17th 2010 6498 posts
Fri Jan-23-15 03:17 PM
16. "i don't have the patience for online dating" In response to Reply # 0 Fri Jan-23-15 03:17 PM by blackrussian
it's fucking long and contrived. i can't be bothered to invest that much time/energy at this point. maybe if i were looking for something serious, but right now i'd just be content with having a regular someone to smang.
decaturpsalm Member since Apr 24th 2005 19268 posts
Fri Jan-23-15 03:38 PM
23. "its just something about it that lends to being phony" In response to Reply # 18
of course all cases arent like that as damali pointed out but for most of the women that i tend to date everyone is trying to present a certain image thats not really them whatever that may be
_______________________________________ touched like midas these bitch ass niggas they study and bite us.
25. "i kinda understand that but that really isnt my main reason" In response to Reply # 23
why i dont want to do it i dont want to deal with dickheads people who hit you up and then flip out if/when you don't respond right away stuff like that
that, and i can't say i photograph well. i have the kind of beauty that moves (c) ani difranco
30. "How old are the females you are referring to" In response to Reply # 0
in the original post? Are they grown women of your generation and age range (I'm assuming you are 30+, so my apologies if I'm wrong) or are they younger and reared in this vanity driven social media society? If it's the later, you can't be too surprised.
31. "Yes! It's so hard..." In response to Reply # 0
I don't ask for much, but if you are online And have written nothing about yourself in your profile Or "just ask me" I'm moving on It's your first presentation to the opposite sex Put in some effort!
I get a lot of guys that do not use punctuation I am no grammar nazi but damn A period and a comma is too much to ask for?!
Or they say hi and the next line is asking for my number Tell me about you at least Give me something to be interested in
It's a lot of bs you get to wade through to find one person Worth communicating with Some guy hit me up today and his profile was so nicely written I had to respond to him and let him know it was so refreshing and different We will see how that goes
43. "I think it's a deliberate spin on old MJ holla atchu videos" In response to Reply # 39
Mike always came through like a super clean anorexic lothario and had to win a reluctant chick: in the closet, the way you make me feel, thriller, remember the time, etc
But here It's like starting from the opposite direction and endin up in the same spot.
38. "Most of my dating has come from" In response to Reply # 0
organic meetings post breakup but funny enough before my last relationship i did online dating here and therw before it was a thing in the early 2000s -------- <--------- my cousin www.richardlouissaint.com photobloggin' it: http://blog.richardlouissaint.com
Ted Gee Seal Member since Apr 18th 2007 10091 posts
Sat Jan-24-15 02:39 PM
41. "seems you cam either have an easy relationship or an easy search for one" In response to Reply # 0
Finding a relationship is easy if you're prepared to compromise your expectations and work hard to make it successful. A lot of people can't do that, so the search is hard. Either way, it's hard work unless luck comes into play.
Plenty of people do well with the new formats, some struggle to adapt. That's life in a number of areas.
42. "Anyone under 30 is crazy, anyone over is damaged goods" In response to Reply # 0
people have also become entertainment events for other people as well. There are also too many choices, so the second someone doesn't live up to one thing, on to the next one. All that adds up to a lot of bullshit.
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