And after some conversations and number crunching you both come to the conclusion that it's do-able based on your earnings and the savings you both have amassed and your current revolving bills.

So now your spouse ask you, what are your expectations for the their new responsibilities regarding home life (child care, cooking, cleaning, shopping, errands etc.) sans a job?

What would you say?

And this is for both genders.

Kids/No Kids, how many, age etc. is relative to your situation. Or come up with multiple scenarios.

****************************
I don't even love life no more, my niggas I just live it.... Jean Grae

and will the spouse be working from home?

that shit is a job in itself,


If theyre already in school fuck that. Every chore imaginable.

---
"though time has passed, im still the future" (c) black thought

.

*************************************
like.me
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"if the children are not initiated into the village they will burn it down just to feel its warmth." - african proverb

After completing every chore imaginable while the kids are in school. There is a ton of stuff that goes on in most homes after school that needs attention. Will that responsibility be split?


_>_>_>_>_
The official symbols of the School Daze/A Different World/HBCU sweater wearin'/Gumby hair havin' set as much as other New Jack Kings and hip-hop artists were....Dr. Claw talking about New Edition

i think it's manageable over the course of a 5 day week to handle housecleaning and laundry if you don't have to worry about caring for small children

cooking every meal wouldn't necessarily required and stuff like dishwashing can be handled by kids if they are old enough to be going to school. clearly not like kindergarteners but older kids can be tasked with helping load a dishwasher or sort laundry or other tasks that can help make the chores go more efficiently

off time would be weekends or days when there isn't a laundry list of chores to be done. i think it's likely you can get a day where there are virtually no chores or very minimal ones. it's managing the time rolling with unforeseen circumstances to allow for additional time. like if i know my spouse was working extra hard one week because of all the chores + demands from the kids (driving them around places, prepping them for stuff like sports or school events) then i would have to take on some chores/tasks to give them some free time but normally i don't think getting free time out of this arrangement would be hard

*************************************
like.me
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"if the children are not initiated into the village they will burn it down just to feel its warmth." - african proverb

I've gotten weird comments from people who question what I do all day. Family on both sides really trip. But it works for us and he does not resent me staying home.


_>_>_>_>_
The official symbols of the School Daze/A Different World/HBCU sweater wearin'/Gumby hair havin' set as much as other New Jack Kings and hip-hop artists were....Dr. Claw talking about New Edition

especially as someone who cannot manage time lol
i think that's key. when im not on top of something at work, i ultimately suffer because either im getting canned or i have to work 16 hour days to catch up but it'll get done and i'm not out here saving lives anyway

but if you slack off in managing the home, the consequences affect your spouse, you, and your kids. it's not a game. lol.

*************************************
like.me
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"if the children are not initiated into the village they will burn it down just to feel its warmth." - african proverb

***
I'm tryna be better off, not better than...

prepping and making dinner

could be nice. those saturdays and sundays folks end up using to grocery shop (which is hell on the weekends), dropping off dry cleaning and other mundane shit can be used for more constructive and fun stuff-whether alone as a couple, alone indiviudally, or as a family

*************************************
like.me
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"if the children are not initiated into the village they will burn it down just to feel its warmth." - african proverb

folks scoff at errands

maybe its just NY but btwn picking up or receiving packages

its a 'thing'
i'm exhausted after a sat of running errands/dealing with customer service
~~~~
When you are born, you cry, and the world rejoices. Live so that when you die, you rejoice, and the world cries.
~~~~
You cannot hate people for their own good.

the lines may not look like the NYC trader joe's lines but them lines can get long and peoples carts are FULL of stuff

i used to drive my mom around to run errands on the weekends. reg does it most of the time now but i really hate it.

i always try and get everything done after work-even when im tired. i'd rather drag myself to the market after work when it's not going to be too nuts than have to give up hours of my weekend

*************************************
like.me
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"if the children are not initiated into the village they will burn it down just to feel its warmth." - african proverb

to avoid crowds
saturdays and sundays i like to be at home (though i will go to target before my kickboxing class since it's on the way. but it's early and no one else is really up yet.)

i'm plotting now when i'll go to trader joe's bc i do not want to be there on a friday evening with snow forecasted for saturday

______
gnap.

thats pretty much where i'm at now

i was staying in queens by the malls thinking hey i will stop by now after work to get even more errands done!


worked once or twice but its still lines and crowds!

also i notice they stock for the weekend rush so alot of time there just wont have things and i ended up goig after work friday anyway

=\



~~~~
When you are born, you cry, and the world rejoices. Live so that when you die, you rejoice, and the world cries.
~~~~
You cannot hate people for their own good.

i can be in and out the store, bank, p.o. in 5-10 minutes most of the time here...

the only place i really wait is my eye specialist. it can be hours.

_______________________________
Maintain chill at all times.

kids: drive them to/from school
house: keep it clean, please dont have the SO coming home to a dirty house
$$: don't spend money on dumb shit.

The details

1 live away college student
3 elementary students
Cleaning service comes 2x's a month
I cook, manage, the budget, manage the kids before and after school.

Would this work for you? Any questions?

_>_>_>_>_
The official symbols of the School Daze/A Different World/HBCU sweater wearin'/Gumby hair havin' set as much as other New Jack Kings and hip-hop artists were....Dr. Claw talking about New Edition

b/c they do that thorough hardcore clean most people have no time to do anyway

im considering getting one for myself. just once a month to do a hardcore clean so i can do my less than hardcore weekly cleans. lol

*************************************
like.me
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"if the children are not initiated into the village they will burn it down just to feel its warmth." - african proverb

the stuff I only do once a season.

I need that lady


_>_>_>_>_
The official symbols of the School Daze/A Different World/HBCU sweater wearin'/Gumby hair havin' set as much as other New Jack Kings and hip-hop artists were....Dr. Claw talking about New Edition

Wait. You have cleaning service for the house?

*********
The tongue like a sharp knife... Kills without drawing blood. (c) Buddha

It started when the younger three were small and cleaning around them was hhhaaaarrrddd. We like the convenience so they still come.


_>_>_>_>_
The official symbols of the School Daze/A Different World/HBCU sweater wearin'/Gumby hair havin' set as much as other New Jack Kings and hip-hop artists were....Dr. Claw talking about New Edition

but I would like to know if you and your spouse sat down beforehand and hashed these responsibilities out?


****************************
I don't even love life no more, my niggas I just live it.... Jean Grae

I went from working nights to be home during the day for the first one, to working part time from home after the second, to staying home after the 3rd. the 4th is grown and was pretty much an only child.

The roles have evolved over time to him gaining more responsibility at work and me taking on more at home.


_>_>_>_>_
The official symbols of the School Daze/A Different World/HBCU sweater wearin'/Gumby hair havin' set as much as other New Jack Kings and hip-hop artists were....Dr. Claw talking about New Edition

that y'all discussed this prior to marriage, it's always best to lay out a plan and everyone put their expectations on the table.


****************************
I don't even love life no more, my niggas I just live it.... Jean Grae

I probably should have said that he travels M-F so I am like a single parent most weeks. My down time truly is during the day. After cleaning and meal prep I chill until they get home and I start my day again. I volunteer at the school 2 days a week and try to get to the gym the other 3 days. snow closures and delayed opening have busted my schedule this winter.

I should also mention that he never, ever takes off to deal with a sick child or school closure. That allows him to focus on work because he knows I have thing handled at home.


_>_>_>_>_
The official symbols of the School Daze/A Different World/HBCU sweater wearin'/Gumby hair havin' set as much as other New Jack Kings and hip-hop artists were....Dr. Claw talking about New Edition

are you also the go to parent for parent/teacher conferences and field trips?

~~~~
When you are born, you cry, and the world rejoices. Live so that when you die, you rejoice, and the world cries.
~~~~
You cannot hate people for their own good.

Repair man coming, no problem I'm home
kid sick, no problem, I'm home
bad weather no school, no problem, I'm home
Field trip/class party, I'm home
Doctor/Dentist visit, I'm home

It' works


_>_>_>_>_
The official symbols of the School Daze/A Different World/HBCU sweater wearin'/Gumby hair havin' set as much as other New Jack Kings and hip-hop artists were....Dr. Claw talking about New Edition

best of luck

~~~~
When you are born, you cry, and the world rejoices. Live so that when you die, you rejoice, and the world cries.
~~~~
You cannot hate people for their own good.

when I wa traveling. it was great. she was also home schooling our daughter.

Y'all buy those labels, I was born supreme

i have a job that sends me on the road a lot and i'm trying to cut back on the travel cause i don't want my wife dealing with all of that while i'm gone. it's tough though. the field i'm in, you def get better opportunities if you don't mind being a road warrior.

http://www.youtube.com/user/gumzization
twitter: @BrosefMalone

Separate from the logistics of getting them ready and to/from school, if one parent is able to stay at home it's a GREAT help in terms of being involved at the school. Going to PTA meetings, volunteering in the classroom, being in communication with the teachers and administration, etc.

I have a 6 year old in first grade and a 6 month old. When my wife was off work at home with the baby afterwards she was doing all of that for our first grader. She's back at work now and we feel completely out of the loop. It seems like all the other parents are ALWAYS up at the school, being involved, advocating for their kids, building relationships with the teachers, etc.

There is a DIRECT effect on how well your kids do at school if you are able to be involved vs. being at work all day and not knowing what is happening. On top of that now that we are both back working my son is going to before and after school care so he's at school way longer - from 7:30am to 6pm. Has to get homework in after that, very little time for extracurricular activities like sports or other social groups.

I haven't even mentioned any of the household stuff like cooking or cleaning. When she was home with the kids we were splitting that stuff up around 50/50. And I STILL felt guilty because I knew how hard she was working to take care of the kids.

I'm a stay at home mom. I used to take care of my disabled mother in law and my 2 year old daughter. At first, my hubby expected the house to be spotless, my chores to be done, his mom to make all her appointments, I was to get a workout in, dinner on the table, and be able to please him sexually when wanted. And, it was supposed to be done every night.

He found out that not only this wasn't realistic, that it was driving his wife crazy and she was turning into a real bitch! It was during this time I found out I have ADD/ADHD. We also realized some other things about our marriage and we did some things to make changes.

What I would say is know your limitations. Understand that the stay at home person is not Superman/Superwoman. And, just because they aren't working a 9-5, they are working too. Hell, my job doesn't stop at 5. I have a 24 hour a day, 7 day a week job, 365 days a year job. And, she doesn't allow me to have sick days. So, know your limitations. Try to spread your work over the week. And, if you can come up with a plan before you start a week, do it.

My to-do list is essential for me to get things done day to day, if not, I'm a total mess. So, I would share with your working spouse your to-do list and see if you guys agree. Add and subtract things. So that you both understand what you have to do throughout the day, and they don't think you are just sitting on your ass eating bonbons via Peg Bundy.

"We don't make mistakes, we just have happy little accidents" - Bob Ross

"I'm wearing a MSU Tshirt because I went to MSU, you are wearing a UM Tshirt because you went to Walmart!" -unknown.

http://bjsquirrelchronicles.blogspot.com

THIS>>>>>>
>At first, my hubby
>expected the house to be spotless, my chores to be done, his
>mom to make all her appointments, I was to get a workout in,
>dinner on the table, and be able to please him sexually when
>wanted. And, it was supposed to be done every night.
>
>He found out that not only this wasn't realistic, that it was
>driving his wife crazy and she was turning into a real bitch!
>It was during this time I found out I have ADD/ADHD. We also
>realized some other things about our marriage and we did some
>things to make changes.
>
>What I would say is know your limitations. Understand that
>the stay at home person is not Superman/Superwoman. And, just
>because they aren't working a 9-5, they are working too.
>Hell, my job doesn't stop at 5. I have a 24 hour a day, 7 day
>a week job, 365 days a year job. And, she doesn't allow me to
>have sick days. So, know your limitations. Try to spread
>your work over the week. And, if you can come up with a plan
>before you start a week, do it.
>
>My to-do list is essential for me to get things done day to
>day, if not, I'm a total mess. So, I would share with your
>working spouse your to-do list and see if you guys agree. Add
>and subtract things. So that you both understand what you
>have to do throughout the day, and they don't think you are
>just sitting on your ass eating bonbons via Peg Bundy.


_>_>_>_>_
The official symbols of the School Daze/A Different World/HBCU sweater wearin'/Gumby hair havin' set as much as other New Jack Kings and hip-hop artists were....Dr. Claw talking about New Edition

the side eye.

-The Knicks’ coaching search still includes a lone frontrunner, Kurt Rambis, whose qualifications for the position include a strong relationship with Jackson and a willingness to take the job.

esp if they are handling all of the what was listed above

staying home is still a job
~~~~
When you are born, you cry, and the world rejoices. Live so that when you die, you rejoice, and the world cries.
~~~~
You cannot hate people for their own good.

if a family is out on the street or in a shelter (for extreme circumstance sake) i'm giving the man the side-eye.

-The Knicks’ coaching search still includes a lone frontrunner, Kurt Rambis, whose qualifications for the position include a strong relationship with Jackson and a willingness to take the job.

>if a family is out on the street or in a shelter (for extreme
>circumstance sake) i'm giving the man the side-eye.

there will always be exceptions
injuries
lay offs
woman has the better earning potential

flexibility in thinking when it comes to family and marriages i notice in my (extended) family

7 aunts and uncles all married 6 stayed married over 30 years

keeps them strong


they are a stubborn bunch of people
and also christian and black
but when it came down to it my dad made/sewed my jumpers
(no he didn't live with us though)
and the family didn't blink an eye then
and in general when it came down to it

~~~~
When you are born, you cry, and the world rejoices. Live so that when you die, you rejoice, and the world cries.
~~~~
You cannot hate people for their own good.

Earning potential is a good point...not something i considered.

Maybe i'm just old school/sexist.

-The Knicks’ coaching search still includes a lone frontrunner, Kurt Rambis, whose qualifications for the position include a strong relationship with Jackson and a willingness to take the job.

it was hard for him to find a job after he got laid off so he was at home
he didn't do everything but my dad was a great stay at home parent to me
he'd make me breakfast every morning
make sure my never-wanna-wake-up ass never missed the bus without being a banshee about it like my mom would
i always had a ride to any and every school related event

i wouldn't have excelled in high school as i did without him

*************************************
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"if the children are not initiated into the village they will burn it down just to feel its warmth." - african proverb

>it was hard for him to find a job after he got laid off so he
>was at home
>he didn't do everything but my dad was a great stay at home
>parent to me
>he'd make me breakfast every morning
>make sure my never-wanna-wake-up ass never missed the bus
>without being a banshee about it like my mom would
>i always had a ride to any and every school related event
>
>i wouldn't have excelled in high school as i did without him

whos dad stayed at home
he got injured on the job
AND they were latino
never got the emasculated impression
he was really really hands on
house was spotless he also cooked (when i visited it was a bit novel but kinda cool he wore an apron = )
when there were mostly women at the trips and school there was him
=)

dunno i appreciated it even though he wasnt my dad
~~~~
When you are born, you cry, and the world rejoices. Live so that when you die, you rejoice, and the world cries.
~~~~
You cannot hate people for their own good.

After our kid was born, she got laid off soon after. We decided instead of her finding another gig, and us having to pay childcare, that she would just stay home. She was home for about 3 years, until we decided to put the kid in preschool for the socialization. She got a part-time gig and the kid did a half day program.

Once real school started she parlayed her part-time gig into a full time one.

It all worked out, but there were some rough spots. Here's a few pet peeves I had...

If we are on a tighter budget, then impulse shopping has to stop. I would get hot if I rolled up to the crib and there was a package on the stoop from Banana Republic.

Don't even suggest some lavish shit. "Let's go to South Beach for vacation..." "Let's host a dinner party...". I hated to always have to veto shit.

After a hard days work, I shouldn't have to come home and we're out of milk, bread, toilet paper, detergent...any staple item. I understood when we're both away from home. Whenever I would get a call to pick up some staple item, it always popped up in the back of my head, "What have YOU been doing?"

I love nothing more than spending time with my kid, but if there's a parent at home, I should never have to leave work early to pick them up from something, or go in late to drop them somewhere.

>Don't even suggest some lavish shit. "Let's go to South Beach
>for vacation..." "Let's host a dinner party...". I hated to
>always have to veto shit.

You tack on that little slick comment "You never want to do anything" and that just sets me off. Every once in a while we have that argument and I just point to the wallet and how empty it is

>You tack on that little slick comment "You never want to do
>anything" and that just sets me off.

I cringed all over again just reading that.

or side hustle. even if it's like a 2 day a week, 10 hour a week thing...

i'm having the oddest sense of déjà vu

(I am one btw, among a number of other things. I can trot out the resume if you'd like).

the 2 years spent at home with my daughter have hands down been the most enriching time in my life.

i genuinely feel sorry that the vast majority of men do not get to spend time with, and truly know their children in this way.

in american society, it's a luxury most men don't have.

---
www.ikirejones.com
FW16: After Migration.

My husband and oldest daughter greatly benefitted from the time he spent with her when I worked nights. He was her every thing for that 9-10 hours each night.


_>_>_>_>_
The official symbols of the School Daze/A Different World/HBCU sweater wearin'/Gumby hair havin' set as much as other New Jack Kings and hip-hop artists were....Dr. Claw talking about New Edition

---
www.ikirejones.com
FW16: After Migration.

Only difficulty is the return to work
Finding a job has been extremely difficult because of the side eye/double standard of stay at home dads

Eclectic Soul/Sunday, 2-4 PM est/89.3 WCSB.ORG

and i'm pre-emptively regretting it already.
good luck on your job hunt!

---
www.ikirejones.com
FW16: After Migration.

Eclectic Soul/Sunday, 2-4 PM est/89.3 WCSB.ORG

But you arent necessarily a stay at home dad in the classic sense.

You got a jobhustle.



>(I am one btw, among a number of other things. I can trot out
>the resume if you'd like).
>
>the 2 years spent at home with my daughter have hands down
>been the most enriching time in my life.
>
>i genuinely feel sorry that the vast majority of men do not
>get to spend time with, and truly know their children in this
>way.
>
>in american society, it's a luxury most men don't have.

---
"though time has passed, im still the future" (c) black thought

i feel like it was a myth


those tupperware parties in the 60s were SaHM
most women when it came down to it tried to get a side hustle on if they could
mainly because back then the work force was generally unwelcoming
so they were baking or sewing for side money

but i dunno i'm not all that familiar w the burbs and if they truly had it like that
and this is from like a immigrant/black pov talking to older folks/fam in NY
~~~~
When you are born, you cry, and the world rejoices. Live so that when you die, you rejoice, and the world cries.
~~~~
You cannot hate people for their own good.

The stroller moms are real.


Their job is watching the baby and going for a run,


Shit, some of these muthefuckers still have a nanny to run around with them.

---
"though time has passed, im still the future" (c) black thought

~~~~
When you are born, you cry, and the world rejoices. Live so that when you die, you rejoice, and the world cries.
~~~~
You cannot hate people for their own good.

when the reality came down for me that his wife was expecting
really cool dude
and i knew there was maternity leave for dads
but when i asked
didnt realize it was only 2 weeks

i'm like WTF
a. the mother needs more help than that
b. no wonder many dads assume alot of things are maternal instinct

thats the parent thats there most times!

and yes it sucked for him he really wanted to be more helpful
note his wife is the lawyer hes an artist (working corporate
so yes at anytime he could be the person home
~~~~
When you are born, you cry, and the world rejoices. Live so that when you die, you rejoice, and the world cries.
~~~~
You cannot hate people for their own good.

but it kinda depends on the day, some days there just may be lots going on and there actually is no time to cook and clean.


****************************
I don't even love life no more, my niggas I just live it.... Jean Grae

>but it kinda depends on the day, some days there just may be
>lots going on and there actually is no time to cook and
>clean.
>
>
>****************************
>I don't even love life no more, my niggas I just live it....
>Jean Grae

take to the Dr and then Dr on at home

Or the flat tire you get that takes forever to get fixed, or dead battery

****************************
I don't even love life no more, my niggas I just live it.... Jean Grae

>take to the Dr and then Dr on at home
>
>Or the flat tire you get that takes forever to get fixed, or
>dead battery
>
>****************************
>I don't even love life no more, my niggas I just live it....
>Jean Grae

****************************
I don't even love life no more, my niggas I just live it.... Jean Grae

she'll come home from her lil nursing or teaching job and have your house LAID

****
pink toes: http://i.imgur.com/WN7DPL1

wife is due in May, and is taking of at least a year to stay home with the baby.

I'm still planning to help out around the house, but there's definitely the expectation that she'll be taking care of some of that while I'm at work.

A big thing that I can see fights forming over is when I have to travel for work. Taking a line from a coworker, I've already explained "If the plan is that you're going to stay home while I go out and work, you need to accept that sometimes I can't do something because I have to work."

I don't travel super frequently, but it's a few times a year for a few days at a time.

I'd be more than happy to be a SAHD while she works. Especially since she's a teacher, and could make money AND have summers off.

*Jews you*

"this is okp tho, reading is completely optional" (c) desus

Proceed with caution. I am overtly racist.

<-- In Pigpen we trust

sit down and come up with a plan, filled with expectations from both sides. come to an agreement and hold each other accountable

****************************
I don't even love life no more, my niggas I just live it.... Jean Grae

wtf is that?

if you taking care of little kids, that's different.

if you're going to school, that's different.

if you're the caretaker for an elderly relative, that's different.

but wtf does a full time home-body do? in my head, i picture that bum life. you know, watching bullshit on tv, going out shopping, yapping on the phone with other do-nothing types.

i can't clap to that bum-life. have some type of purpose...do something productive with yourself...

go to the Help Center like Weezy Jefferson. anything is better than sitting at home all day waiting for me to...nah, i won't quote Tony Montana in the middle of a work afternoon...

***
I'm tryna be better off, not better than...

>And after some conversations and number crunching you both
>come to the conclusion that it's do-able based on your
>earnings and the savings you both have amassed and your
>current revolving bills.
>
>So now your spouse ask you, what are your expectations for the
>their new responsibilities regarding home life (child care,
>cooking, cleaning, shopping, errands etc.) sans a job?
>
>What would you say?
>

Dinner in the morning and be available and on call at all times ....

I had this convo with someone before...

me and some folks I used to work with are having lunch. one of the ladies jumps up and says she has to go home and make dinner for her man becaue "he gotta have dinner when he get home"

now one of the other ladies says.. FOH with that ..

I say.. well thats her JOB .. she dont work the least she can do is have a hot plate ready when he get home... at least...

what would be the reason for not being able to do that outside of any unforseen issues...???

***
I'm tryna be better off, not better than...

sex at LEAST 3 times/week...

and i'll sign on the dotted line.....

she's required to have sex with you more often?

.

prototype

stand ur ground, believe in urself,
believe in love, prepare urself for love, remove the negativity from ur life, and accept the love u kno u deserve

...I do the domestic stuff. I've arranged my life so I don't have to work outside the home and plan to keep it that way. From a philosophical viewpoint, I think one parent should stay at home. It allows the breadwinner to focus on their job and career advancement and making money. And leaves the other to focus on the well being of the children.

and by Work From Home...I mean work and collect a pay check....

They have 3 kids. He says, she needs it and he does not complain or care one bit what she does or doesn't do.

I have another female friend who pays all the bills while her husband his trying to develop a fledgeling pro - golf career.

Some couples just love the other person and carrying for them financially is not a one up match.

Rise & Shine
Thrive & Grind
Heart & Mind

I gotta have my own money that I earned to do whatever I please with.

Remember Novemthree's Courage...
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she already does most of the cleaning so i don't think there'd be any added expectations on her part. if she decided to stay home, the added responsibility would be taking care of the kids all day. we would still share the load with cooking and running errands or whatever but being home with the kids everyday would be enough of a load. plus it would save us a ton in child care.

we're not quite there yet but it's something we've discussed as a possibility. she's got a state job though so her retirement benefits might be worth keeping her working.

http://www.youtube.com/user/gumzization
twitter: @BrosefMalone

sorry.
blame it on America.
blame it on how I was raised.
I don't know.

only exceptions: if the parent is just doing it part-time/post-pregnancy/until the kids are old enough to go to pre-k/the parent is in between jobs/or has a job that affords them the opportunity to work from and maintain the home...that's cool. I get that. Passes give to all in that situation.

outside of any of those situations mentioned above though, that just seems like straight bum life. maintaining the house and looking to me as a man as the bread winner is all good (to a point), but where is your ambition? what drives you? what happens when the kids get older, and go off to college, and the house doesn't require so much management? then you're going to finally pursue your goals? with all due respect, f/ck that. I'd much rather a woman that was a pro at maintaining that work life balance. I want her to have her own. I want her to be a strong model for our kids (daughter especially...outside of just showing good domestic qualities).

maybe I'll waiver on this if I ever find myself faced with such a decision, but honestly I doubt it. *shrug*

I fit into your exception. I'm waiting for my munchkin to get the hang of this potty training so that she can start pre-K (she'll be 3 this March). I'm also trying to get my personal training certification so I can do my internship and get back to work. I enjoy being at home with my daughter, but I also have my own dreams and goals and working is one of those.

I will say that being home with my daughter has helped her in ways that I didn't imagine. There is something about learning from a parent. And, then there is the time I get to spend with her that is so valuable. I wouldn't have wanted to miss it. And, I'm glad that my hubby agreed that this was best.

"We don't make mistakes, we just have happy little accidents" - Bob Ross

"I'm wearing a MSU Tshirt because I went to MSU, you are wearing a UM Tshirt because you went to Walmart!" -unknown.

http://bjsquirrelchronicles.blogspot.com

Women working full time has only been prevalent since maybe the 1970's. Homemakers were our moms, grandmothers, and great grams and their parents and grandparents.
That doesn't make their contribution any less. Maybe if people stopped putting their all into a job force that exploits them anyway we could raise better human beings.

Men complain about how they don't want a woman so career driven and making more money, so they want to limit that success at the same time asking that she goes to work.
Which way would you like it? All your needs met as far as meals, kids, laundry cleaning, etc.. or having your wife at work all the time? It's a personal choice.
But you can't call the work that someone does at home being a bum. The workforce is not for everyone. Some are more valuable in the home.

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the best thing about the times when my husband was unemployed was that he was the most amazing homemaker. he cooked, cleaned, fixed shit, ran errands...it sucked when he went back to working outside the home

so yeah, i like our life better when 1 of us is not working full time outside the home.

right now, he's acting so it's the best of both worlds. some days he's on set for 12+ hours and other days, he's home cooking, cleaning, etc.

however, he knows that i'd love him to get to the point where I could quit my job and he's bringing in all the money...so we're working toward that.

d

2yr old and 9months

so she's at home until theyre school age

it is gonna be interesting when they go to school

Me and my sister's whole life changed. I was six and my sister twelve. Things could have been very different had she not worked.
She only had to cause my dad did not pay the bills even though he worked. I still have no idea what he did with the money.
Mom would cook us breakfast everyday, pack a lunch for school, and freshly cooked dinner every night.

She ended up working at night so she was always sleep during the day. No time to cook, and never could spend time with us during the day.
She used to drop us off at school and pick us up. Lot of activities on days we didn't have school. Weekend activities as well.
Once she started working, she was just sleepy and tired all the time. Cooked meals were only sometimes. She was miserable.

When I was 13 I got involved with the entirely wrong crowd. Holding guns and drugs for gang bangers and more.
My mom was still working that same job at night and my dad was off doing who knows what. Neither had time to pay attention.
I felt like I was begging for one of my parent to intervene. I didn't want to be involved cause I knew better. I just needed help.
Luckily one of teachers stepped in and got my parents to pay attention. But I hated my mom's job. I never forgot how it was before.

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