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Subject: "Parents! Did u guys have any hardships with marriage POST baby?" Previous topic | Next topic
eye.M.woman
Member since Jun 01st 2007
3896 posts
Mon Jan-05-15 10:27 AM

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"Parents! Did u guys have any hardships with marriage POST baby?"
Mon Jan-05-15 10:29 AM by eye.M.woman

          

man... our baby is 5 months
and we are still trying to adjust to everything still
our marriage is still not as popping as it used to be
sad face!

how long did it take you first time parents/
or when you had your first baby - for your marriage to bounce back?
I mean... we are intimate here and there
but obviously not as much as before... just feels like its been
a long time already
___________________
Nas >>> your favorite rapper's favorite rapper

  

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Topic Outline
Subject Author Message Date ID
RE: Parents! Did u guys have any hardships with marriage POST baby?
Jan 05th 2015
1
They are.
Jan 05th 2015
14
man... we had a heart to heart the other day cus shit was getting
Jan 06th 2015
22
at 5 months that's expected
Jan 05th 2015
2
Goin thru it now. If u had a few hrs I'd bring a 5th of whisky for us to...
Jan 05th 2015
3
dog...
Jan 05th 2015
4
      holla if you need a homie round the corner
Jan 05th 2015
9
           U a lawyer. Is there any way you can legally put baby Sox on wrong?
Jan 05th 2015
11
                we all are like that lol
Jan 06th 2015
23
the dynamics of the household
Jan 05th 2015
5
also if you want more than one... get it over with
Jan 05th 2015
6
hang in there champ. remember all our talks.
Jan 05th 2015
7
This is a law in Texas
Jan 05th 2015
8
we had a tough talk this weekend
Jan 05th 2015
10
RE: we had a tough talk this weekend
Jan 06th 2015
19
Honestly, things won't "bounce back' until preschool/kindergarten.
Jan 05th 2015
12
pre-school
Jan 06th 2015
24
Confession Monday: I haven't felt sexy since the baby was born
Jan 05th 2015
13
RE: Confession Monday: I haven't felt sexy since the baby was born
Jan 06th 2015
15
Alot of couple gain about 20 the first year, many lose it the second
Jan 06th 2015
17
RE: Confession Monday: I haven't felt sexy since the baby was born
Jan 06th 2015
20
yes.
Jan 06th 2015
16
yeah, sure, three times... possibly more difficult each time
Jan 06th 2015
18
1.) Dedicated 'us' nights
Jan 06th 2015
21
exactly!!
Jan 06th 2015
25

Tiggerific
Member since May 24th 2007
13451 posts
Mon Jan-05-15 10:32 AM

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1. "RE: Parents! Did u guys have any hardships with marriage POST baby?"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

Uh...its a transition. Lets just say sessy time has been few and far between and we are trying to get better at making time for each other.

My child is almost 3!!!! So, put that into perspective!!!

Seriously, its not easy. But, if there is any advice I can give is don't take each other for granted. Make sure you give your spouse that affection. Especially if you know they crave it. Try to make more time to talk each night after your munchkin is in bed. Speak their love language (the 5 love languages was very helpful for us). Let your spouse know that just because the baby came into your life, they weren't put on the back burner. Make time for love.

"We don't make mistakes, we just have happy little accidents" - Bob Ross

"I'm wearing a MSU Tshirt because I went to MSU, you are wearing a UM Tshirt because you went to Walmart!" -unknown.

http://bjsquirrelchronicles.blogspot.com

  

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MiQL
Member since Sep 03rd 2002
7208 posts
Mon Jan-05-15 01:27 PM

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14. "They are. "
In response to Reply # 1


  

          

The sooner folks realize that, the sooner they can cope.

>just because the baby came into your life, they weren't put on
>the back burner.

"a little air restriction ain't hurt nobody." - BSR

  

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eye.M.woman
Member since Jun 01st 2007
3896 posts
Tue Jan-06-15 12:39 PM

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22. "man... we had a heart to heart the other day cus shit was getting"
In response to Reply # 1


          

crazy.. bickering like weve never done before
and his mentality is "Baby 1st" above anything and everything
im okay with that
but he doesnt get it that we have to get our marriage back up n running
uuughhhhhh
___________________
Nas >>> your favorite rapper's favorite rapper

  

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imcvspl
Member since Mar 07th 2005
42239 posts
Mon Jan-05-15 10:33 AM

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2. "at 5 months that's expected"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

it can take a couple years honestly. main thing is to acknowledge the relationship and show support for the individuals. the time will come for rekindling, but it will take some adjusting for the new circumstances. real talk the otherside may actually be better than where you started out pre pregnancy.

█▆▇▅▇█▇▆▄▁▃
Big PEMFin H & z's
"I ain't no entertainer, and ain't trying to be one. I am 1 thing, a musician." � Miles

"When the music stops he falls back in the abyss."

  

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deejboram
Member since Sep 27th 2002
25755 posts
Mon Jan-05-15 10:44 AM

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3. "Goin thru it now. If u had a few hrs I'd bring a 5th of whisky for us to..."
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

I swear all my outings now are therapy sessions between the guys.
Everyone shares stories.
We are our own support group.
We are each other's sponsors
Like AA
So when we are ready to choke slam her because she swears up and down you ain't changing the diaper correctly or you don't have the bottle at the correct angle when you feeding the baby, you get up call your sponsor and have them talk you off the ledge.
They will tell you that they too have been thru this and that your misery has some company.
They will also tell you the next four things your wife will say or do within the next twelve hours
And like clockwork, everything they said she would do, she did it TO THE TEE.

How you gonna get your groove on when you are crib training and every few minutes the kids wake up in the other room and she run down the hall to put the kid back to sleep?
Our even worse it is your time for night duty and you sleep with one eye open to be ready to calm the baby down

Sick baby's just take shit to the tenth level.

Ahhhhh

Date night with another couple but you got to bring your kid cause you don't have a sitter and don't want to cancel on them the third time in a row.


Out of my sample of a bakers dozen marriages, 12 of them are the same.
It's like we all married the same woman or these women be trading tips and tactics because they all say the same shit verbatim!


No offence.
I'm sure y'all women say is men say the same too.

****
pink toes: http://i.imgur.com/WN7DPL1

  

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Government Name
Member since Dec 16th 2005
23190 posts
Mon Jan-05-15 10:48 AM

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4. "dog..."
In response to Reply # 3
Mon Jan-05-15 10:48 AM by Government Name

  

          

>So when we are ready to choke slam her because she swears up
>and down you ain't changing the diaper correctly or you don't
>have the bottle at the correct angle when you feeding the
>baby...

the best advice i got from a homie was to not let the baby turn us against each other. keeping this in my head is the only thing that keeps me from snapping daily. gotta remember yall are in it together lol

________
http://twitter.com/aehorton
http://instagram.com/aehorton

  

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woe.is.me.
Member since Aug 06th 2007
13957 posts
Mon Jan-05-15 11:58 AM

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9. "holla if you need a homie round the corner"
In response to Reply # 4


  

          

I still gotta come through to say what up to Hudson Mohawk.

---
www.ikirejones.com
FW16: After Migration.

  

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deejboram
Member since Sep 27th 2002
25755 posts
Mon Jan-05-15 01:06 PM

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11. "U a lawyer. Is there any way you can legally put baby Sox on wrong?"
In response to Reply # 9


  

          

My wife thinks so and will let me hear it
I just laugh my head off

Not sure if anyone else went through it but first time mom's be on some super over protective shit

Like she act like I'm the uncle or step dad
LoL

Outfits I pick out ain't fly enough
Ok. I don't care. Her mom's dress better than me.
So what. You pick out all the outfits then and I will put them on her.

Oh, you say I'm putting this small ass shirt over her head too rough?
Gtfoh, all babies react like that

Once a dude learns to roll with punches like that, his life becomes easier.

You got too much applesauce on the spoon you going to choke her!
LoL
I'm like muthafucka it is APPLESAUCE she will swallow that shit like spit and KIM



When you got somebody mixing old wives tales and shit they read on the internet, it make for an interesting household.


****
pink toes: http://i.imgur.com/WN7DPL1

  

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labcoat
Member since Jun 15th 2006
14585 posts
Tue Jan-06-15 02:31 PM

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23. "we all are like that lol"
In response to Reply # 11


          

especially the first time

--------------
Daren, I'll never forget you
http://www.fayemurman.com/extras/magee/daren/

  

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tariqhu
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Mon Jan-05-15 10:52 AM

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5. "the dynamics of the household"
In response to Reply # 0


          

change so much with a child. it makes it really difficult to get back to what it was. so you'll have to find ways of getting in when the baby is asleep or a few more trips to granny's on the weekends to buy some adult time.

the biggest challenge is not being tired AND finding the time.

Y'all buy those labels, I was born supreme

  

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imcvspl
Member since Mar 07th 2005
42239 posts
Mon Jan-05-15 11:00 AM

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6. "also if you want more than one... get it over with"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

i say this to all first timers. do. not. wait. because each time you have one all these things you're going through now reset themselves and if you think it's hard the first time, get to the otherside of it then find yourself wanting another and thrust back in the thick of it, with an older kid already. that shit is no joke.

█▆▇▅▇█▇▆▄▁▃
Big PEMFin H & z's
"I ain't no entertainer, and ain't trying to be one. I am 1 thing, a musician." � Miles

"When the music stops he falls back in the abyss."

  

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Bruce Belafonte
Member since Jan 14th 2008
31999 posts
Mon Jan-05-15 11:25 AM

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7. "hang in there champ. remember all our talks."
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

i've always said that people shouldn't even be allowed to breakup during pregnancy or within like a 10 months of birth when shit is tense. hormones are all out of wack and returning to normal. when basically the couple are put into a whirlwind of circumstances out of nowhere and are prone to take the stress out on each other.

http://youtu.be/5o37GORoKUQ

#htpw

  

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deejboram
Member since Sep 27th 2002
25755 posts
Mon Jan-05-15 11:34 AM

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8. "This is a law in Texas"
In response to Reply # 7


  

          

You can't get divorced while pregnant then they make you wait Styx months post pregnancy

U can file
But it won't be confirmed until six months post partum

****
pink toes: http://i.imgur.com/WN7DPL1

  

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tomjohn29
Member since Oct 18th 2004
16800 posts
Mon Jan-05-15 01:05 PM

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10. "we had a tough talk this weekend"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

told her our kid is doing really
time to be my wife a little bit more
she got defensive a bit at first but realized i was right
working through it....but cute kids will have you losing yourself

______________________________________

Navem nu, cuando sol
Tutu nu, vondo nos nu
Vita em, no continous non
Nos nu ekta nos sepe ta, amen

When the sun shades the ship
We sweat and life is not safe
To swim or to touch not
When we unite we hedge amen

  

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Tiggerific
Member since May 24th 2007
13451 posts
Tue Jan-06-15 11:08 AM

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19. "RE: we had a tough talk this weekend"
In response to Reply # 10


  

          

Yes they will. Their cuteness is the devil!

"We don't make mistakes, we just have happy little accidents" - Bob Ross

"I'm wearing a MSU Tshirt because I went to MSU, you are wearing a UM Tshirt because you went to Walmart!" -unknown.

http://bjsquirrelchronicles.blogspot.com

  

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MiQL
Member since Sep 03rd 2002
7208 posts
Mon Jan-05-15 01:15 PM

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12. "Honestly, things won't "bounce back' until preschool/kindergarten."
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

That's if the couple is extra neurotic about their first baby(they usually are).
That's also if they are aggressive about making time for themselves (they usually aren't).

Good luck!



>man... our baby is 5 months
>and we are still trying to adjust to everything still
>our marriage is still not as popping as it used to be
>sad face!
>
>how long did it take you first time parents/
>or when you had your first baby - for your marriage to bounce
>back?
>I mean... we are intimate here and there
>but obviously not as much as before... just feels like its
>been
>a long time already
>___________________
>Nas >>> your favorite rapper's favorite rapper

"a little air restriction ain't hurt nobody." - BSR

  

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ThaAnthology
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Tue Jan-06-15 04:48 PM

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24. "pre-school"
In response to Reply # 12


  

          

stay strong

www.anthologyfmn.com

Enter the Written World of Fahim Malik Nassar

The House of Caine (available)

Melancholoy Funk (available)

Tha Anthology (Words 2001-2003) Poetry inspired by OKP and Wash, DC
(available)

The Spook who sat by the Radio Poetry (av

  

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deejboram
Member since Sep 27th 2002
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Mon Jan-05-15 01:17 PM

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13. "Confession Monday: I haven't felt sexy since the baby was born"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

I didn't go to the gym much in 2014
I let myself go
I'm not big
I actually lost weight but gained a few percent in BF so you can only see shadows of my abs

I don't feel sexy no more
It's mainly sleep deprivation
I ain't had a good night of sleep in 9.5 months
It's like every other week baby got a new milestone and we adjust our lives to fit it

She is walking now at 9 months so we have had to re arrange the living room to accommodate for this
She can get to shit faster so can't be laying stuff down
Not even a glass or bottle of water because she WILL attack that shit

She needs new sippy cups as she has progressed

She got teeth now so food choices and textures have changed

She communicates to us more like a child now so we adjust

But yeah, I don't feel like that 22 year old stud no more
Nigga feeling 30 and shit

No more going out getting stupid drunk then coming home to bang that thing out
You come home after midnight you better enter as quietly as possible and lay your ass on the couch until sunrise!

Don't even think about kissing your baby with liquor on your breath

All this responsibility has sapped my sexiness

I can't even hug my wife on the couch without my daughter running over and wanting to get in on the action
I was like damn girl, she was my wife before she was yo momma!

Keep it sexy!

****
pink toes: http://i.imgur.com/WN7DPL1

  

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OrangeMoon
Member since Feb 01st 2005
3284 posts
Tue Jan-06-15 07:49 AM

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15. "RE: Confession Monday: I haven't felt sexy since the baby was born"
In response to Reply # 13


  

          


>
>I can't even hug my wife on the couch without my daughter
>running over and wanting to get in on the action
>I was like damn girl, she was my wife before she was yo
>momma!

EXACTLY! My daughter stay C-blockin! My husband still think it's cute but shit sometimes I want to rub up against the D!

~"You are your own best thing" (c) Paul D in BELOVED

  

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Buddy_Gilapagos
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Tue Jan-06-15 08:33 AM

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17. "Alot of couple gain about 20 the first year, many lose it the second"
In response to Reply # 13


  

          

It happened to me.

**********
"Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson

http://blackpeopleonlocalnews.tumblr.com/

  

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Tiggerific
Member since May 24th 2007
13451 posts
Tue Jan-06-15 11:11 AM

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20. "RE: Confession Monday: I haven't felt sexy since the baby was born"
In response to Reply # 13


  

          

Get back in the gym. Seriously, the endorphins will kick in and you will feel sexy in no time.

I had that happen to me. It didn't help that I had weight on before my baby weight. 35 lbs lighter. Now, I'm feeling more like myself. And, my sex drive has definitely picked up. Just gotta stop and make time for love. Its so important.

"We don't make mistakes, we just have happy little accidents" - Bob Ross

"I'm wearing a MSU Tshirt because I went to MSU, you are wearing a UM Tshirt because you went to Walmart!" -unknown.

http://bjsquirrelchronicles.blogspot.com

  

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SHAstayhighalways
Member since Sep 03rd 2014
3696 posts
Tue Jan-06-15 08:22 AM

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16. "yes."
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

www.royallegacy.org

For Real (Official Video):
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hBRoCPO8esE

  

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lonesome_d
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Tue Jan-06-15 10:38 AM

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18. "yeah, sure, three times... possibly more difficult each time"
In response to Reply # 0


          

It's difficult adjusting to the constant demands of a third party - or two, or three.
You're both exhausted all the time.
Her body may have changed very significantly, affecting self-image, affecting intimacy, affecting desires, affecting marriage happiness.
The kid won't eat.
The kid won't sleep.
The kid shits 30 seconds after you change her diaper.
The kid jerks his head as you're carrying him through a doorway and bangs his head and screams.
The kid is playing with you, looking you in the face, and all of a sudden lets loose with a wicked headbutt right to your kisser.

You'll wind up getting blamed for all kinds of shit that is just not your fault.

Add a little possible post-partum depression into the mix.

Yep, it will test your marriage, your character, your relationship.

Good luck. It gets better.

-------
so I'm in a band now:
album ---> http://greenwoodburns.bandcamp.com/releases
Soundcloud ---> http://soundcloud.com/greenwood-burns

my own stuff -->http://soundcloud.com/lonesomedstringband

avy by buckshot_defunct

  

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Torez the Judge
Member since Mar 13th 2007
3957 posts
Tue Jan-06-15 11:14 AM

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21. "1.) Dedicated 'us' nights"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

After the baby goes down, it's just us and some wine. It doesn't even have to be sex. It's just time to reconnect as spouses, not parents.

2.) Getaways

Baby turned six months right around Christmas. Met the parents in Atlanta, passed her off and spent the weekend hanging out, shopping, dining, working out, etc. It cost a grip, but it was worth it.

Bottom line: If you do not purposefully build 'us' time, your baby will suck it all away.

The past is my foundation, not my preoccupation.

http://www.typeillypress.com
http://www.twitter.com/mtorez

  

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kiwanjalia
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Tue Jan-06-15 05:26 PM

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25. "exactly!!"
In response to Reply # 21


          

>After the baby goes down, it's just us and some wine. It
>doesn't even have to be sex. It's just time to reconnect as
>spouses, not parents.
>
>2.) Getaways
>
>Baby turned six months right around Christmas. Met the parents
>in Atlanta, passed her off and spent the weekend hanging out,
>shopping, dining, working out, etc. It cost a grip, but it was
>worth it.
>
!!!!!!!!>>>>>>Bottom line: If you do not purposefully build 'us' time, your
baby will suck it all away.

  

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