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Subject: "My wife's mother is jealous of our relationship" Previous topic | Next topic
legsdiamond
Member since May 05th 2011
62029 posts
Mon Dec-22-14 11:48 AM

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"My wife's mother is jealous of our relationship"


          

I'm really about to cuss her Mother and her FIL out.

We have asked about Xmas plans for weeks. This weekend we got a call from a young cousin who NEVER calls us asking if we are coming to the coast for Xmas.

2 days later her mom text that she is going to be out of town for Xmas.

Now my wife is on some Will Smith "why don't they want me?" and I'm ready for war.

My wife is the black sheep of her fam. I've seen her mother and older sister try to back her into a corner on some bullshit and I had to step in and let them know that shit won't be tolerated anymore.

I think it's crazy for a parent to turn their back on you because you aren't living your life the way they want you to live it.


















  

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Topic Outline
Subject Author Message Date ID
what aspect of her life are they specifically upset about?
Dec 22nd 2014
1
they were mad at her for pursuing her dream of being a dancer
Dec 22nd 2014
7
      RE: they were mad at her for pursuing her dream of being a dancer
Dec 22nd 2014
12
      I would never actually cuss them out tho..lol
Dec 22nd 2014
15
      Damn. Your in-laws Jamaican?
Dec 22nd 2014
19
you should make it a point to sprinkle moms with a little love, too.
Dec 22nd 2014
2
Would ur wife's FIL be your dad?
Dec 22nd 2014
3
good catch, I meant my FIL, her stepdad
Dec 22nd 2014
9
good luck with that bruh
Dec 22nd 2014
4
I'm very sorry to hear about this...
Dec 22nd 2014
5
family shit be the craziest shit ever yo.
Dec 22nd 2014
6
it's sad... they be whispering and having secrets and shit.
Dec 22nd 2014
10
your xmas without them will be less stressful
Dec 22nd 2014
8
Yep, and she knows this but it's the way it went down
Dec 22nd 2014
11
Havent talked to my mom since august over similar stuff
Dec 22nd 2014
13
A good general approach is be super nice, friendly and generous while
Dec 22nd 2014
14
I did all those things....
Dec 22nd 2014
17
sorry to hear that
Dec 22nd 2014
16
300K? that's a nice come up.
Dec 22nd 2014
18
      Me neither
Dec 22nd 2014
22
you know what you do?
Dec 22nd 2014
20
yup!!
Dec 22nd 2014
21

SimplyHannah
Member since Aug 09th 2009
7224 posts
Mon Dec-22-14 11:58 AM

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1. "what aspect of her life are they specifically upset about?"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

Marrying you?

  

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legsdiamond
Member since May 05th 2011
62029 posts
Mon Dec-22-14 12:35 PM

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7. "they were mad at her for pursuing her dream of being a dancer"
In response to Reply # 1
Mon Dec-22-14 12:36 PM by legsdiamond

          

real dancer not skripper. They felt like she should have given it up years ago and became a lawyer or a doctor.

and now they are mad at her now for being HAPPILY married

Her sister married a white guy "for the good hair" and spent the first 5 years bitching and moaning about this white dude being a lazy bum.

my wife said "I'm tired of everyone acting like my sister was forced to marry her husband"

her mother turned to her and said "now everyone can't be so lucky and have the perfect loving relationship that you have with your husband"









  

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SimplyHannah
Member since Aug 09th 2009
7224 posts
Mon Dec-22-14 12:54 PM

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12. "RE: they were mad at her for pursuing her dream of being a dancer"
In response to Reply # 7


  

          

>real dancer not skripper. They felt like she should have
>given it up years ago and became a lawyer or a doctor.
>
This petty and unfortunate as shit. But do you and your wife really think that if your wife had a jd or md behind her name that her mom and sis would support her? Or proceed to nitpick about something else? Meh thinks that it's some other underlying issues that have nothing to do with your wife or her choices but issues that lie within themselves.

>and now they are mad at her now for being HAPPILY married
>
>Her sister married a white guy "for the good hair" and spent
>the first 5 years bitching and moaning about this white dude
>being a lazy bum.
>
>my wife said "I'm tired of everyone acting like my sister was
>forced to marry her husband"
>
>her mother turned to her and said "now everyone can't be so
>lucky and have the perfect loving relationship that you have
>with your husband"

Is she wrong tho? Lol mom and sis already know that sis fucked up. These people have something that is broken within themselves and I'm not sure if that can be fixed by outside parties. As a husband I know you only have your wife's best interest at heart, but cussing them out won't fix these damaged individuals or heal relations between them and your wife, might make you feel better tho.

  

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legsdiamond
Member since May 05th 2011
62029 posts
Mon Dec-22-14 01:52 PM

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15. "I would never actually cuss them out tho..lol"
In response to Reply # 12


          

you right tho. It's something she is going to have to address and she already text that she is going to call her mom.

I used to think my wife was paranoid when she said she was the black sheep but then I sat back on one visit and just watched how they interacted.

Even my BIL was like "damn, I feel bad for your wife. They treat her like shit"



  

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micMajestic
Charter member
22703 posts
Mon Dec-22-14 02:48 PM

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19. "Damn. Your in-laws Jamaican?"
In response to Reply # 7


  

          

>real dancer not skripper. They felt like she should have
>given it up years ago and became a lawyer or a doctor.
>
>and now they are mad at her now for being HAPPILY married
>
>Her sister married a white guy "for the good hair" and spent
>the first 5 years bitching and moaning about this white dude
>being a lazy bum.
>
>my wife said "I'm tired of everyone acting like my sister was
>forced to marry her husband"
>
>her mother turned to her and said "now everyone can't be so
>lucky and have the perfect loving relationship that you have
>with your husband"

Or are they on some Jack & Jill shyt?

  

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Deadzombie
Member since Aug 21st 2008
13358 posts
Mon Dec-22-14 12:03 PM

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2. "you should make it a point to sprinkle moms with a little love, too."
In response to Reply # 0
Mon Dec-22-14 12:03 PM by Deadzombie

          

--

  

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blkprinceMD05
Member since Nov 29th 2004
40310 posts
Mon Dec-22-14 12:06 PM

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3. "Would ur wife's FIL be your dad? "
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

prototype

stand ur ground, believe in urself,
believe in love, prepare urself for love, remove the negativity from ur life, and accept the love u kno u deserve

  

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legsdiamond
Member since May 05th 2011
62029 posts
Mon Dec-22-14 12:37 PM

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9. "good catch, I meant my FIL, her stepdad"
In response to Reply # 3


          

  

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GROOVEPHI
Charter member
10620 posts
Mon Dec-22-14 12:11 PM

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4. "good luck with that bruh"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

my wife has issues with her damn parents also.

Dad was never really around. He doesnt call, text, email, none of that shit.
Mom is cold. we invited her to our son's christening. She didn't attend bc she's not into church (or for whatever other reasons). She didn't call my wife (who she talks to daily) for like 4 days before and 4 days after the christening to avoid being asked about attending or asked why she didnt attend. this was before Thanksgiving. She JUST texted my wife for the first time in weeks the other day. She had unfriended her on FB and all that dumb shit.
She talking about 'can you bring the kids over on Xmas." I'm like 'yall can go ahead"

  

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Brownsugar
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9472 posts
Mon Dec-22-14 12:26 PM

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5. "I'm very sorry to hear about this..."
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

It's like they say, when you marry you marry the whole damn family!!! I have been married twice and I know that this can be a very serious problem that could eventually break up your relationship with you and your wife.

I feel that your wife is the one that has to straighten out her own mother. If your wife doesn't, there is not a lot that you can do but make yourself look bad in your new families eyes.

I have been there, done that and I hope that everything works out alright for you and your wife !!!


I LUV ALL A' Y'ALL!!! !!!

  

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mikediggz
Member since Dec 02nd 2003
8974 posts
Mon Dec-22-14 12:32 PM

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6. "family shit be the craziest shit ever yo."
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

  

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legsdiamond
Member since May 05th 2011
62029 posts
Mon Dec-22-14 12:39 PM

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10. "it's sad... they be whispering and having secrets and shit. "
In response to Reply # 6


          

I'm more of a "lets have fun for 2 or 3 days and bounce"





  

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Crucian1
Member since Oct 04th 2002
32178 posts
Mon Dec-22-14 12:36 PM

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8. "your xmas without them will be less stressful"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

as much as your wife might want xmas to be with her family..its evident its not going down like that. Make your own plans and be on your own schedule. Let them get in where they fit in next year.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
You posting in a hoe's tone (c) monkeynuts

  

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legsdiamond
Member since May 05th 2011
62029 posts
Mon Dec-22-14 12:46 PM

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11. "Yep, and she knows this but it's the way it went down"
In response to Reply # 8


          

that has her feelings hurt

  

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tomjohn29
Member since Oct 18th 2004
16361 posts
Mon Dec-22-14 01:00 PM

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13. "Havent talked to my mom since august over similar stuff"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

my moms mad i have alot of help with my son(something she doesn't didnt have with us)
my wifes mom lives with us

mom is mad i put my wife and son are priority

its crazy

______________________________________

Navem nu, cuando sol
Tutu nu, vondo nos nu
Vita em, no continous non
Nos nu ekta nos sepe ta, amen

When the sun shades the ship
We sweat and life is not safe
To swim or to touch not
When we unite we hedge amen

  

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Buddy_Gilapagos
Charter member
44047 posts
Mon Dec-22-14 01:38 PM

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14. "A good general approach is be super nice, friendly and generous while"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

keeping lots of distance between you and them.

Like if you got to smile and be nice only a couple times of year, it's worth doing.

I also try to avoid getting into intra-family beef and try to be supportive (helping her see her own fam in the best light), lest they heal up their beef and then be mad at you.


**********
"Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson

http://blackpeopleonlocalnews.tumblr.com/

  

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legsdiamond
Member since May 05th 2011
62029 posts
Mon Dec-22-14 02:05 PM

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17. "I did all those things...."
In response to Reply # 14


          

but when a MIL wants to manipulate every situation to her benefit eventually you will fall out of favor.

My BIL and I sit around at functions like "man, we picked some beautiful women with some ugly family baggage"

  

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Ted Gee Seal
Member since Apr 18th 2007
10084 posts
Mon Dec-22-14 01:53 PM

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16. "sorry to hear that"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

In law issues are tough. We've been trying to get into a new house over the past year in part to deal with those issues. First they tried to scare us out of moving, then told us we had to sell first before buying otherwise we could end up in financial trouble. Then after we've bought and were trying to sell were pressuring us to hold out for top dollar, never mind the financial trouble they warned us about earlier.

Oh, they also reduced Mrs Seal to tears over the first house we were interested in, which scuttled our efforts to get into a central area because prices are moving so fast and my wife's pretty fussy as it is.

But we bought two Saturdays ago, just sold on Monday for 300K above where we purchased, and will be living across town in the new year. So their interference has led to us living 30mins away instead of 10.

Just IMO though.

  

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legsdiamond
Member since May 05th 2011
62029 posts
Mon Dec-22-14 02:13 PM

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18. "300K? that's a nice come up. "
In response to Reply # 16


          

I don't mind family but I can't have them in my house telling me the grass looks like it needs to be cut or I need to do XYZ.

  

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Ted Gee Seal
Member since Apr 18th 2007
10084 posts
Mon Dec-22-14 03:20 PM

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22. "Me neither"
In response to Reply # 18


  

          

>I don't mind family but I can't have them in my house telling
>me the grass looks like it needs to be cut or I need to do
>XYZ.

That irks me. Plus bet they don't keep their houses magazine ready either.

Just IMO though.

  

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morpheme
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94863 posts
Mon Dec-22-14 02:52 PM

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20. "you know what you do?"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

fuck them
show your wife YOU her family
you ain't putting baby in the corner.
YOU love her
and it ain't no conditional, sometimey love neither.

stay home.
begin new traditions.
fuck them niggas.

  

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GROOVEPHI
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10620 posts
Mon Dec-22-14 02:53 PM

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21. "yup!!"
In response to Reply # 20


  

          

  

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