"Is it OK to be naked in front of your kids? (link)"
My parents were never naked around us so I don't do it around my kids. Never would since I have two daughters. I grew up with a neighbor who's mother walked around the house topless. Made me a little uncomfortable but I didn't say nothing. Their house so I just turned away whenever she came in his room to ask for something. What are your thoughts on this? Here's an article I came across.
Brutally Honest: Is it OK to be naked in front of your kids?
By Kelly Wallace, CNN updated 7:41 AM EST, Tue December 16, 2014
Let me say at the start that there is no way around the topic of nakedness in front of your children without getting personal and slightly uncomfortable. I'm already feeling somewhat tense as I type this.
I joke that the only person who should have to see me naked is my husband. He signed up for it, right? My kids certainly didn't.
A lifetime of body image issues means I'm not one to walk around naked at home. But I don't cover up around my daughters, 7 and 8, when I'm getting dressed or in the bathroom, either. I don't want them to think there is anything wrong with my body or theirs.
And when they ask hilarious questions such as "Mom, why do your boobs hang?," I can't help but laugh and use the opportunity as a chance to tell them my body has changed over time and theirs will, too.
In conversations over email with mothers and fathers across the country and in Canada, it's clear there is no "one size fits all'" approach to the questions of whether it's OK to be naked in front of your kids and if there's an age when it's no longer OK.
Rhonda Woods, a mother of three, says ever since her children, now 20, 13 and 13, were little, she and her husband have been teaching them not to be ashamed of their bodies. They have also never hidden their bodies from their kids, she said.
"As they get older, my husband is more discreet around our daughters and I am more discreet around our son. Not because we are uncomfortable, but because they may be," said Woods, a real estate agent in New Milford, Connecticut.
"So when it is time for me to undress, I tell whichever of my kids is in my room talking to me, that I plan to do so and they have the option to leave."
Comfort is key
A common theme I heard from parents is comfort. If both you and your children are comfortable with you being naked in front of them, there isn't anything "inherently wrong with that at all," said Avital Norman Nathman, who says her 8-year-old son is used to seeing her and her husband naked on occasion when they are getting dressed or in the shower.
"If my son were ever to say or even act as if he was uncomfortable by it, we would of course respect that," said Norman Nathman, editor of the motherhood anthology "The Good Mother Myth: Redefining Motherhood to Fit Reality" and founder of the blog The Mamafesto.
"Nudity, when it's within your home and 100% nonsexualized, isn't going to traumatize a child, especially if you're all on the same page, are all consenting and are all comfortable with it."
Nancy Friedman, a New York City mom of two middle schoolers, said while every child is different, most kids make it clear when their mom or dad's nudity no longer works for them.
'Brutally Honest': Mean girls are getting younger "I think your kids let you know when it's time to stop being naked in front of them -- usually about the time they decide they don't want to be naked in front of you," said Friedman, co-founder of the video sharing site for tweens called KidzVuz.
As children age, they certainly develop their own sense of modesty around others, said Micky Morrison, a mom of two in Islamorada, Florida, and founder of BabyWeightTV.
"But even my 12-year-old son doesn't hesitate to undress in front of me. I figure that he will one day, and that's OK," said Morrison. "Perhaps one day he will avert his eyes or become uncomfortable with my nudity as well. And that's OK, too."
Amanda Rodriguez, a mom of three boys in Frederick, Maryland, said she reached a point with each of her sons, usually no later than age 5, when she thought it was no longer OK to be nude around them.
"I began to feel uncomfortable being naked in front of them because of the questions and the poking and prodding and search for Mommy's 'inside penis' -- that's what they thought a vagina was," said Rodriguez, founder of the blog Dude Mom.
"I don't think it makes them terrible people or scars them for life if they stumble into the bathroom while I'm going, but it's easily avoidable awkwardness none of us really needs to experience on a daily basis."
Terry Greenwald, a divorced father of three, puts himself solidly in the no-being-naked-in-front-of-kids' camp.
"It would be very difficult to teach children any sort of modesty and humility if a parent thought it OK to be naked in front of their children. It also would bring up questions and conversations they might not be ready to handle," he said.
Blogger: Why I want my sons to see me naked
A few months back, a post by blogger Rita Templeton about why she wants her four sons -- ages 2, 5, 6 and 9 -- to see her naked, was republished on The Huffington Post and went viral. Templeton said she wanted her sons to see what "real" women look like before they are bombarded with an ideal in the media that doesn't match reality.
"Before they are exposed to boobs that are as round and firm as cantaloupes and pictures of taut, airbrushed, dimple-less butts, I'm exposing them to a different kind of female body. Mine," wrote Templeton, who blogs at Fighting Off Frumpy.
Her words led to an onslaught of hate mail, nasty tweets and accusations she's sexualizing her sons, she said. Buzz Bishop, a father of two boys in Calgary, wrote a blog post of his own in part as a response to all the outrage. He says he has been playing games called "naked baby" and "naked daddy" at bath time since his children were little while at the same time he teaches his kids not to stare when they are in the open shower in the men's bathroom at their neighborhood pool.
"Rita's doing what works for (her). I'm doing what works for me. You're doing what works for you. And we're all just trying to teach our kids a little respect for each other, and themselves," said Bishop, who writes about parenting on his blog Dad Camp.
There doesn't seem to be much science to help guide us on whether it's better or worse for your child, or it makes no difference at all, if they see you naked. I couldn't find many studies when I searched for them, and those I found had conflicting findings.
For instance, one study found no negative impact on adolescents who regularly saw their parents naked at ages 3 and 6, but another study found that parental nudity when kids were ages 6 to 11 resulted in more permissive attitudes about sex and increased sexual frequency.
For some parents, like Maryellen, a mom of two young girls on Long Island, who only wanted to use her first name, it's all about convenience.
"I'll be honest. Sometimes it's easier and faster just to pull them into the shower," she said. "But my girls are 4 and 6. A year from now I may not be doing it any longer. By then, they may be showering by themselves (dare to hope?)"
7. "My mom was always naked around us " In response to Reply # 0
My dad was never naked though. I never saw my mom naked around my brother, although he is much older than my sister and I, so it wouldn't be appropriate.
I never wear clothing in the house anyway and I will be naked around my children. That's normal. Opposite sex should probably stop after a certain age though unless your and out and out nudist. ___________________________________________________________
10. "Rai has carte blanche to be naked thru the house" In response to Reply # 0
there is no cutoff date for her. Eventually...Buddy will start saying "EWWWWWW!!!" but that's his problem, not hers.
I, on the other hand...have a strict no frontal nudity clause going on in the house. Buddy and I shower so he is acclimated to the "Men in the Gym" rules....My daughter will never see me naked and I started averting my eyes from her when she was old enough to understand her body parts.
Certain lessons on your body and how it should be respected are taught in the home. I want her to walk outside of the house like "MY OWN DADDY DON'T LOOK AT ME...WTF YOU LOOKING AT?!?"
That also carries over into covering herself conservatively, etc. When she gets more daring with her outfits...we'll have another conversation but by that time...the basics will have been set.
13. "my boy loves to point out 'boobies!' " In response to Reply # 0 Tue Dec-16-14 02:37 PM by SHAstayhighalways
on men and women (to him nipples are what make boobies boobies so we all got boobies)
so sometimes just to keep him from poking at me i'll keep my towel on when we're changing but i shower with him sometimes and i get dressed & undressed in front of him no biggie
i'm sure the day he feels weird about it he'll be all 'aw ma!' and i'll stop
i don't think i've ever seen my dad naked not that i remember my mom i saw naked all the time.
there seems to be a theme here that male nakedness is considered taboo in relationship to children. i find it interesting and have no idea how to approach such a topic my husband bathes with my son sometimes too he's 2.5 now i assume he'll stop bathing with him eventually i trust him enough to stop when he finds it appropriate to stop
as far as just being naked around him i don't feel comfortable just being naked on stuff like couches and such so he won't have to worry about that lol his dad doesn't do the just sitting around naked shit either so he's 'safe' i guess lol
17. "in my household nudity wasn't allowed....my aunt and uncle tho...." In response to Reply # 0
completely different. in hindsight its funny to think about how compatibility plays such a huge role in home dynamics.
so check it...in my household it was super covered at all time. like my mom was super crazy with that. GO PUT ON A SHIRT! GO PUT ON SOME SOCKS! like we literally were always covered from head to toe. it was weird. but my mom is super weird about stuff like that, to a detriment i think. nobody could be comfortable around her. my dad went along with it, but i don't think he was used to it or comfortable with it cause he definitely wasn't raised that way.
so now we have my aunt...my dads brother. my aunt was one of those 5'2 ladies with gargantuan titties. its fucked up to say that about your family, but my aunt was super-chested. i'd go over there house and literally have a look of awe, disgust, amazement, and probably bashfulness on my face at the same time. i remember one time she was like..."boy stop looking at my boots." and my uncle would be walking around naked to. all that nudity was too much...at first i wasn't used to it.
but its like a dog...if you stay cool with the dog, then the dog will be cool. so they were cool with it. it wasn't sexual it was just comfortable. it was natural. and i stopped seeing it as something perverse, but as something....normal. and that changed a lot about me. and its funny...since my parents have been divorced, my dad has been able to live a more comfortable life. that nigga be walkin around in his skivvies all the time. he's more comfortable. interestingly enough...when me and my siblings are home with him, we're still not that liberal with it. we're not as bad as we were when we were kids, but we're still not like we are at home. or at least i'm not.
not sure how i'll be with kids. cause we place such a taboo label on the human body. its fucking skin. that's it. its like the whole leaked nudes craze....you know what every one of those women had in common....2 titties. and i mean...we've all seen titties before. maybe not those specific ones, but it shouldn't be a shock or a major, Internet-breaking event to discover that underneath their clothes....famous actress have titties. vaginas. asses. i don't know what society expected them to have, but i for one....wasn't surprised. looked at all of em....then went back on with my day. --------------------------------------- it's true what they say...people are strange, when you're strangers.
i think...hrm i think your upbringing and experiences encompasses the American relationship with nudity
it really is a thing here
and yes i'm part of it
i stay telling folks to put their clothes on i'm a bit rigid that way not in their own home of course but anywhere else
yes i know folks like your aunt and uncle *sigh* ~~~~ When you are born, you cry, and the world rejoices. Live so that when you die, you rejoice, and the world cries. ~~~~ You cannot hate people for their own good.
22. "depends on how evolved your family is on nudity and sexuality" In response to Reply # 0
i think the arguments against same sex exposure would be prudish i guess you could make some legitimate arguments against opposite sex exposure pass a certain age though i'd think a well balanced communicative family could navigate that with few issues
38. "it was never a big deal in our house, i saw both my parents naked" In response to Reply # 0
whatever just changing or getting out of the shower, very casual.
this one kid i knew had parents who took it to the next level. i think most of us saw them naked and when we were older we found all sorts of kinky shit in their room. porn, sex toys, etc, a vast collection (this was pre-internet). i think the dad wound up shooting himself, so that's kind of a bummer.
And you will know MY JACKET IS GOLD when I lay my vengeance upon thee.