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Subject: "People in Relationships and Christmas Gifts" Previous topic | Next topic
MrThomas43423
Member since Jul 03rd 2002
67613 posts
Tue Dec-09-14 01:59 PM

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"People in Relationships and Christmas Gifts"


  

          

how the fuck does that work? as a giver, do you like to pay attention all year then surprise your S/O with something they mentioned? do you take requests? is Christmas the you get whatever you ask for holiday? are you one of those people who can magically pick out perfect and useful gifts every year without any help.

how do you like to receive gifts? do you like to be outward about what you want or would you rather receive a gift from the heart trusting your partner knows you? and are you happy with anything they get you as long as it shows thoughtfulness and effort.

cause even tho i'm not in a relationship, i got hit with a gift request. its not the gift that's the problem, its the request. just buying you whatever you want isn't Christmas-y to me. and maybe if it was my girl i'd feel different, but i doubt it. for real...i don't even fucking like Christmas. you should just be happy i show the fuck up for whatever stupid little Christmas thing you feel like i HAVE to participate in.

but i digress....gifts. how do you do it?
---------------------------------------
it's true what they say...people are strange, when you're strangers.

not compassionate....only polite.

I am not like you at all and i cannot pretend.

  

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Topic Outline
Subject Author Message Date ID
I'm starting to loathe Christmas for this reason
Dec 09th 2014
1
yep
Dec 09th 2014
5
we usually do three gifts
Dec 09th 2014
2
which one will it be?
Dec 09th 2014
6
      i'll get him what he wants
Dec 09th 2014
8
I know my girl's tastes, so it's not too tough.
Dec 09th 2014
3
We don't make a big deal out of gifts for Christmas.
Dec 09th 2014
4
combo of listening & flat out asking. nm
Dec 09th 2014
7
ever deal with a crappy gift giver?
Dec 09th 2014
9
man this girl i was hanging out with in college made me a mixtape
Dec 09th 2014
11
      i'm sorry but I laughed more than i should at your example.
Dec 09th 2014
13
      you are not alone © mj...
Dec 09th 2014
16
      Ey YOUNG!!! This cuban chick I was dating in college
Dec 10th 2014
17
      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V3uei18KqSw
Dec 10th 2014
21
      hilarious
Dec 10th 2014
19
We don't really do gifts
Dec 09th 2014
10
I give great gifts.
Dec 09th 2014
12
i ration my gifts lol
Dec 09th 2014
14
We usually buy experience gifts...concerts, short trips, plays etc
Dec 09th 2014
15
$100 limit, either something that the other needs or just practical
Dec 10th 2014
18
Christmas is for the kids
Dec 10th 2014
20
listening. i give lists cause for the most part, men may think they know
Dec 10th 2014
22
i'm not in a relationship but i am exchanging gifts w/someone
Dec 10th 2014
23

Overqualified
Member since May 03rd 2006
4542 posts
Tue Dec-09-14 02:09 PM

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1. "I'm starting to loathe Christmas for this reason"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

Mainly, because I hate getting gifts from women I'm in relationships with. It makes me feel weird, like if it's too big a gift, they're trying to gain leverage for something down the road. I've actually refused things I didn't think were appropriate.

But strangely on the flip, I try to listen or be observant as to what they may need or want and go with that. The hardest is when you're with a woman who doesn't have any specific interests and you're stuck with purses or jewelry which are boring, expensive, and easy to judge.

As for someone requesting a gift or handing me a wishlist...that's tacky as hell. I'd get them a book or something or find a way to be scarce during the holidays.

Streets won't let me chill.

  

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MrThomas43423
Member since Jul 03rd 2002
67613 posts
Tue Dec-09-14 02:28 PM

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5. "yep"
In response to Reply # 1


  

          

especially the gift receiving part.
---------------------------------------
it's true what they say...people are strange, when you're strangers.

not compassionate....only polite.

I am not like you at all and i cannot pretend.

  

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latenitemix
Charter member
51255 posts
Tue Dec-09-14 02:14 PM

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2. "we usually do three gifts"
In response to Reply # 0


          

something practical
something you asked for
something that's a surprise

we only do one this year
times is rough and tough like leather

______
gnap.

  

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MrThomas43423
Member since Jul 03rd 2002
67613 posts
Tue Dec-09-14 02:29 PM

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6. "which one will it be?"
In response to Reply # 2


  

          

givers choice or everyone gets what they want?
---------------------------------------
it's true what they say...people are strange, when you're strangers.

not compassionate....only polite.

I am not like you at all and i cannot pretend.

  

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latenitemix
Charter member
51255 posts
Tue Dec-09-14 02:33 PM

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8. "i'll get him what he wants"
In response to Reply # 6


          

because i'm clueless right now
actually it may be a combination of both once he gives me some ideas

______
gnap.

  

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veritas
Member since Sep 16th 2002
37200 posts
Tue Dec-09-14 02:16 PM

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3. "I know my girl's tastes, so it's not too tough."
In response to Reply # 0


          

She mostly just wants clothes and shoes and shit so it's pretty easy.

Only thing that's kind of a pain is some women's clothing is kinda tough on sizes, but I've taken to just buying 2 closest sizes and returning the ones that don't fit well.

i still blame hip-hop.

  

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Starbaby Jones
Member since Mar 08th 2003
5034 posts
Tue Dec-09-14 02:27 PM

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4. "We don't make a big deal out of gifts for Christmas. "
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

We just buy ish for each other throughout the year. If either one of us want something, we just get it. So, it's no big deal.

http://soundcloud.com/forestbrooks

  

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Binlahab
Charter member
182563 posts
Tue Dec-09-14 02:31 PM

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7. "combo of listening & flat out asking. nm"
In response to Reply # 0
Tue Dec-09-14 02:36 PM by Binlahab

  

          

!

  

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BigJazz
Charter member
24443 posts
Tue Dec-09-14 02:38 PM

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9. "ever deal with a crappy gift giver? "
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

you give them thoughtful gifts. gifts that took time, money, and resources to come up with.

and their gift to you was on some charlie brown "i got a rock" type shit:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ws5Q8C0n6vw



***
I'm tryna be better off, not better than...

  

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veritas
Member since Sep 16th 2002
37200 posts
Tue Dec-09-14 02:44 PM

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11. "man this girl i was hanging out with in college made me a mixtape"
In response to Reply # 9


          

and we were kinda lightweight hanging out, so a mix cd was an appropriate gift, really.

and it started off decent. a couple Christmas tracks, a couple tracks she put me on to and a couple tracks I put her on to.

then something like the last 8 songs were all Ben Harper. And I never particularly cared for Ben Harper. I think they were actually even in track order from one of his albums.

it was terrible. it was an hour long reminder that she pretty much just lost interest halfway through and said fuck it.

which was kind of fitting for the relationship, really.

i still blame hip-hop.

  

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Fishgrease
Member since Feb 13th 2006
34433 posts
Tue Dec-09-14 03:23 PM

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13. "i'm sorry but I laughed more than i should at your example. "
In response to Reply # 11


  

          

---------------------------------------
blog: www.wonderfullyhorrible.blogspot.com
instagram: Fishgrease
twitter: wooly_caesar
Podcast www.soundcloud.com/circlegang

  

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CyrenYoung
Charter member
32298 posts
Tue Dec-09-14 11:54 PM

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16. "you are not alone © mj..."
In response to Reply # 13


  

          

..things fall apart, f'real...


*skatin' the rings of saturn*


..and miles to go before i sleep...

  

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Dae021
Member since Mar 12th 2003
39375 posts
Wed Dec-10-14 09:17 AM

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17. "Ey YOUNG!!! This cuban chick I was dating in college"
In response to Reply # 11


          

DID THAT SAME SHIT.

I hated Ben Harper but I pretended to deal while I was getting to see her naked, but that mixtape fam. One time we're in the room goin at it, and she's like let me put this one while we do it. Fine whatever, titties, but young like half way through Datharper started playin and I lie to you not, my shit just went flat.

Like inside the pussy, FLAT, never to come back that night.

Then I found out her married Laura Dern, I hated that nigga for life.

Get out the room,
http://getouttheroom.podomatic.com

http://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/get-out-the-room/id525657893

Situation Podemy love

https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/situation-podemy/id620232249

Situation Podemy : www.situationpodemy.wordpres

  

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CyrenYoung
Charter member
32298 posts
Wed Dec-10-14 09:48 AM

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21. "https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V3uei18KqSw"
In response to Reply # 17


  

          

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V3uei18KqSw


*skatin' the rings of saturn*


..and miles to go before i sleep...

  

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KiloMcG
Member since Jan 01st 2008
27361 posts
Wed Dec-10-14 09:18 AM

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19. "hilarious"
In response to Reply # 11


  

          

  

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Ted Gee Seal
Member since Apr 18th 2007
10084 posts
Tue Dec-09-14 02:39 PM

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10. "We don't really do gifts"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

We'll use it as an excuse to get new phones/computers/etc. if they're getting over the hill, that way we both get the same thing, but otherwise, when your finances are as entwined as ours are, you may as well just get what the person wants because the element of surprise is minimal.

Just IMO though.

  

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ChiBrownSkinLady
Member since Nov 14th 2002
30211 posts
Tue Dec-09-14 03:15 PM

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12. "I give great gifts."
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

Current boyfriend's getting Bulls-Lakers tix. I'm pretty sure he'll love them since he loves basketball, Kobe's his favorite player, and he's never seen him play live. Meanwhile, he's been asking me what I want for over a month now. I think he knows me pretty well and the things I really enjoy, so I trust he'll come up with something good.

I kinda hate explicitly spelling out what I want when it comes to gifts to men I date. It doesn't have to be anything baller, just something that shows they've paid attention to stuff I'm into or something that references a shared experience. I'm pretty transparent and generally easy to shop for if you halfway pay attention to me.

But I've always given thoughtful presents to guys I date. First guy I seriously dealt with I got him a Miles Davis biography because he's really into his music and bios and he had special significance between us. What'd he get me? Nothing. smhlol

Another ex, although we'd only been dating a couple months by the time Christmas rolled around, I figured I'd make him something he'd enjoy instead of balling out and making him feel uncomfortable. He loves ginger ale and fresh baked cookies. So I made him ginger syrup so he could make fresh, more tasty ginger ale (and the soda water to go along with it), and I batched up a bunch of chocolate chip cookies into individual sizes so he could bake them fresh as he wanted. Did he ever use either of them? Nope. At least not while we were still together (which was about 8 months down the line).

Most recent one I got him something practical. He loves a ton of ice in his drinks, so I got him some better ice trays. He was really thankful and he made me a nice dinner and gave me an awesome backrub, which was about all I expected since he was essentially unemployed at the time.

__________________________

Just tryna do the best that I can with what it is I have...

  

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labcoat
Member since Jun 15th 2006
14581 posts
Tue Dec-09-14 03:40 PM

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14. "i ration my gifts lol"
In response to Reply # 0


          

so i knew that I wanted to give him this since last year
but i waited
so its a no brainer

i usually just listen and pay attention

he is a good gift giver as well
because he listens so i dont know
what to expect

he did REAL good with wildchild
bday gift
made me smile

--------------
Daren, I'll never forget you
http://www.fayemurman.com/extras/magee/daren/

  

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afrogirl_lost
Member since May 22nd 2012
2976 posts
Tue Dec-09-14 11:37 PM

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15. "We usually buy experience gifts...concerts, short trips, plays etc"
In response to Reply # 0


          

He gives me jewelry as a suprise sometime but never for my birthday or Ramadan.

  

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Dae021
Member since Mar 12th 2003
39375 posts
Wed Dec-10-14 09:18 AM

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18. "$100 limit, either something that the other needs or just practical"
In response to Reply # 0


          

something that they've been asking for or talking about for a while.

We have so much stuff, it just makes sense.

Birthday's are the "what do you want" holiday in my book though. Xmas is the "i'm happy you thought about me" holiday.

Get out the room,
http://getouttheroom.podomatic.com

http://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/get-out-the-room/id525657893

Situation Podemy love

https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/situation-podemy/id620232249

Situation Podemy : www.situationpodemy.wordpres

  

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Nick Has a Problem...Seriously
Member since Dec 25th 2010
16352 posts
Wed Dec-10-14 09:30 AM

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20. "Christmas is for the kids"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

Nieces, nephews, little cousins, the children on my girl's side of the fam, etc. I'm not buying an adult shit.

****************************************
Falcons, Braves, Bulldogs and Hawks

"Dude just seems like he's been chosen for some reason. Maybe he did a backspin for Oprah or something." micMajestic

http://www.discogs.com/user/buhloone

  

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earthseed
Member since Feb 26th 2004
26989 posts
Wed Dec-10-14 09:52 AM

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22. "listening. i give lists cause for the most part, men may think they know"
In response to Reply # 0
Wed Dec-10-14 09:54 AM by earthseed

  

          

what you want, but don't really know.

FOH here asking folks that don't know you, what your mate would like. NOPE

so to avoid any hurt feelings cause i'm not using the vera bradley lunch kit/purse* that you got me - here, let me help you out!

* this actually happened to a friend of mine. dude bought her a vera bradley purse, lol.

those things are hideous.

now go runtelldat, ho.

  

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MzOnyxVI
Charter member
5145 posts
Wed Dec-10-14 10:22 AM

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23. "i'm not in a relationship but i am exchanging gifts w/someone"
In response to Reply # 0
Wed Dec-10-14 10:27 AM by MzOnyxVI

          

i tend to listen for gift ideas throughout the year so i have a pretty good idea of what he wants

last year, though, i took him to a football game and i'd asked for a bag. prior to our gift exchange, we'd talked about what kind of bag i wanted. lets just say, i didn't get what i asked for and was sorely disappointed.

that damn bag was the source of MANY arguments. "you hate it, don't you? why aren't you carrying your bag?" blahblahblah. the irony is that once i got over the fact that it wasn't what he said he was getting, i fell in love with it and then the handle broke and we ended up exchanging it for something i liked more.

i told him this year that i don't want to discuss what he's getting me and to just surprise me. i'll appreciate the gift more if he doesn't hype it up to be something it isn't (ie - prada vs aldo).

  

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