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Subject: "is it wrong to try to force a friendship w/ someone you know wants" Previous topic | Next topic
scout
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44572 posts
Mon Dec-01-14 12:42 PM

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"is it wrong to try to force a friendship w/ someone you know wants"


  

          

more from you?
scenario: the two of you have fantastic conversations and get along well but one party has made it pretty clear that they want your chonies and you have made it pretty clear that's not happening, but you still wanna hang out cause y'all have fun together. is that wrong or mean? is it an unintentional set up? should i just leave him alone?

_____________________

hello, lover.

  

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Topic Outline
Subject Author Message Date ID
So, basically you want to put a dude into the friendzone?
Dec 01st 2014
1
but we have GRRREAT conversations and always have a good
Dec 01st 2014
2
      The main problem is TIME.
Dec 01st 2014
31
           and i wouldn't be mad at him at all
Dec 01st 2014
36
it's selfish i'd say
Dec 01st 2014
3
if you all are friends, you are friends.
Dec 01st 2014
4
it hasn't gotten to that point yet.
Dec 01st 2014
8
just dont be mad at the hail mary/habitual line stepping
Dec 01st 2014
5
Lol come on yo. You know its fucked up.
Dec 01st 2014
6
RE: Lol come on yo. You know its fucked up.
Dec 01st 2014
12
      you still want to fit a square peg in a round hole tho
Dec 01st 2014
23
      most men want to fuck tho, lol.
Dec 01st 2014
38
           and?
Dec 01st 2014
48
                RE: and?
Dec 01st 2014
54
      Oh okay. Good luck.
Dec 01st 2014
91
           thanks, lol
Dec 01st 2014
112
Yes and many, many women are guilty.
Dec 01st 2014
7
people like attention
Dec 01st 2014
I don't need attention. I like his company and conversation.
Dec 01st 2014
21
      of course you do. he really is offering his best material
Dec 01st 2014
40
      so you like HIS attention
Dec 01st 2014
41
      nope, lol. i like our intellectual conversations. seriously. if i liked
Dec 01st 2014
49
           I believe you
Dec 01st 2014
58
                thank you, trey
Dec 01st 2014
62
      now you lying to yourself
Dec 01st 2014
45
so i should cut him off?
Dec 01st 2014
17
      Ask yourself why he's coming around
Dec 01st 2014
200
Why?
Dec 01st 2014
9
yeah it's wrong and it's on the other person to see it
Dec 01st 2014
10
but damn, i'm not using him. i'm being a cool ass friend. why i
Dec 01st 2014
24
you don't.
Dec 01st 2014
55
      *sigh.
Dec 01st 2014
60
      wait!
Dec 01st 2014
124
           okay yes!
Dec 01st 2014
156
                again: is he your only friend?
Dec 01st 2014
165
                     no but he offers things the other friends dont
Dec 01st 2014
173
      this is spot on.
Dec 01st 2014
119
      Let the church say amen.
Dec 01st 2014
152
pretty much.
Dec 01st 2014
30
hook him up with one of your friends
Dec 01st 2014
11
i would if a) i had a friend who i thought would be interested, and
Dec 01st 2014
28
      THE PLOT THICKENS
Dec 01st 2014
32
           he aint innocent ;)
Dec 01st 2014
39
                if he was single would everything more or less stay the same between
Dec 01st 2014
46
                     can we take bets now?
Dec 01st 2014
51
                     yerp lol
Dec 01st 2014
53
                          yall are foul, lol. but youre right about me not being attracted to
Dec 01st 2014
70
                               yeah that's pretty straightforward really
Dec 01st 2014
90
                                    exactly! and a lot of men play this game.
Dec 01st 2014
101
                     yes. at one point i did entertain the idea of an 'us' but then
Dec 01st 2014
65
i never understood why the girl's in the wrong
Dec 01st 2014
13
in his mind, you're keeping him around because you like him a little
Dec 01st 2014
19
*shrug* sorry, my sympathy levels are so low on this
Dec 01st 2014
25
      ^^^^^^
Dec 01st 2014
33
      lots of people say one thing and do another
Dec 01st 2014
34
      your words should match your actions.
Dec 01st 2014
37
      and those things build feelings
Dec 01st 2014
42
           they build feelings, and illusions, and thoughts of '... one day'
Dec 01st 2014
43
           and then when it finally sinks in that it will NEVER happen
Dec 01st 2014
                LOL for real. it's not worth it. and im IN THIS SITUATION
Dec 01st 2014
61
                ^^^
Dec 01st 2014
71
                ^^ correct.
Dec 01st 2014
77
                bingo
Dec 01st 2014
80
           i think that since i lecture him sometimes and i'm frank and shit
Dec 01st 2014
74
      try a little empathy.
Dec 01st 2014
59
           for real. it's tough w/ the feelings
Dec 01st 2014
                yup. having been on the bad side of this
Dec 01st 2014
76
                sometimes you gotta save people from themselves
Dec 01st 2014
82
                     agreed. especially if they truly ARE your friend
Dec 01st 2014
85
                     this should be the quote that defines this post.
Dec 01st 2014
111
                     Yup. Definitely.
Dec 01st 2014
116
because emotionally you can end the charade lol
Dec 01st 2014
22
because patriarchy I guess.
Dec 01st 2014
27
If men accepted every no as final we would literally never get laid
Dec 01st 2014
29
the boyfriend that sat by the door
Dec 01st 2014
35
      LOL
Dec 01st 2014
75
      LOFL
Dec 01st 2014
198
this is where i'm at, IN THEORY
Dec 01st 2014
84
"Why should the dealer apologize to his fiends?", they cried.
Dec 01st 2014
99
if you care about him, leave him alone. otherwise, youre a piece of shit...
Dec 01st 2014
14
I'm in the give him some camp
Dec 01st 2014
15
-_- bin, i dont just give out samples of my cooch all willy nilly
Dec 01st 2014
44
      ^^^^the core issue right there! why not?!
Dec 01st 2014
177
leave him alone
Dec 01st 2014
16
QUESTION: are you all friends like for real?
Dec 01st 2014
18
is he a good friend because he is attracted to her?
Dec 01st 2014
47
good question.
Dec 01st 2014
50
i was ASKING if they were friends.
Dec 01st 2014
56
and I'm asking a different question...
Dec 01st 2014
57
      the only real female friends are either ugly or family.
Dec 01st 2014
64
      ^ homosocial.
Dec 01st 2014
69
      i answered your question.
Dec 01st 2014
66
           you trying to hard bruh...
Dec 01st 2014
93
                yes it's because i care so deeply.
Dec 01st 2014
95
                     whatever it is, you are doing too much of it.
Dec 01st 2014
98
                          right on.
Dec 01st 2014
108
men sometimes make great friends. too much estrogen gets
Dec 01st 2014
86
      I feel you... and also just read he has an SO
Dec 01st 2014
96
           right! lol, he's a predator
Dec 01st 2014
106
i am selective w/ who i label as a friend. EXTREMELY selective
Dec 01st 2014
72
as long as you are OK with him hollaring every few days
Dec 01st 2014
20
she might feed off of him hollaring every few days. sick shit.
Dec 01st 2014
26
      yup, I have witnessed it first hand.
Dec 01st 2014
52
      the attention/ego boost they brought was the center of the friendship
Dec 01st 2014
63
      i seriously aint that chick so please stop. the times he's tried
Dec 01st 2014
81
           okay. i'll fall back on that.
Dec 01st 2014
97
           I see you get FZ'd often......
Dec 01st 2014
191
           and you said he has someone else...
Dec 01st 2014
103
                right, he is not a victim here. im thinking that maybe we should
Dec 01st 2014
110
                     that reads all types of wrong
Dec 01st 2014
128
                     -
Dec 01st 2014
132
                          death by a thousand little cuts instead of just ending it definitively
Dec 01st 2014
139
                          damn so if i'm wrong and he really doesn't want me then i just
Dec 01st 2014
146
                               my position is that he needs to end himself but if he can't do that then...
Dec 01st 2014
151
                          i think something is being missed here
Dec 01st 2014
142
                               fine.
Dec 01st 2014
147
                               thank you because i'm positive that there is no actual love
Dec 01st 2014
148
                                    then proceed.
Dec 01st 2014
153
                                         lol, see this is why i need more male friends
Dec 01st 2014
157
                                              then you may not wanna be this guy's friend...
Dec 01st 2014
159
                                                   probably not, lol. ugh
Dec 01st 2014
164
you made your intentions clear...you've done your part
Dec 01st 2014
67
so you really expect him to act like he don't want you? for real.
Dec 01st 2014
68
lol @ "hungry look" ...if a dude's at that point, then he's got issues
Dec 01st 2014
73
wingwoman? fuck those.
Dec 01st 2014
79
      this helps your chances.
Dec 01st 2014
83
      and the mark will be ever more intrigued in stealing you away
Dec 01st 2014
89
      Nothing gets their attention faster than seeing you with another woman
Dec 01st 2014
87
           this makes sense. but is dependent on the security of the mark.
Dec 01st 2014
92
           if you conceive of objects of your affection as "marks,"
Dec 01st 2014
102
                believe it or not, i not a fan of 'games'.
Dec 01st 2014
113
           i am not surprised that he ain't pick up on this.
Dec 01st 2014
94
                don't be surprised, i think i just handle myself (socially) better than ...
Dec 01st 2014
100
no, that hungry look kinda worries me
Dec 01st 2014
78
That's his burden, not yours
Dec 01st 2014
88
whats the point of a clear conscience when the nigga is trying to fuck
Dec 01st 2014
104
that's his burden, not hers
Dec 01st 2014
114
why continue something that you know isn't genuine?
Dec 01st 2014
107
They're adults
Dec 01st 2014
115
      typing "they're adults" doesn't mean anything.
Dec 01st 2014
117
      RE: typing "they're adults" doesn't mean anything.
Dec 01st 2014
163
      you typed big boy pants. i can't take you seriously
Dec 01st 2014
118
           You have a good day then.
Dec 01st 2014
170
                i hope too. you as well.
Dec 01st 2014
171
yep, my conscience is super clear.
Dec 01st 2014
109
a real friend would have more empathy for their friend.
Dec 01st 2014
120
i can't clap loud and long enough to this.
Dec 01st 2014
121
agree
Dec 01st 2014
122
so what if i have a talk with him and he's all like 'girl! psh! im over ...
Dec 01st 2014
123
i had a friend that picked up on the fact that i was falling for him.
Dec 01st 2014
126
3 more outings and you will be in love again
Dec 01st 2014
130
that shows how much you know.
Dec 01st 2014
138
:)
Dec 01st 2014
133
yeah...distance is key.
Dec 01st 2014
136
he will probably be lying if he says he is over it.
Dec 01st 2014
127
that's on you.
Dec 01st 2014
129
      ^^^^^^^^^^^
Dec 01st 2014
131
      yup
Dec 01st 2014
135
      *double sigh
Dec 01st 2014
137
I've been on both sides of scout's situation
Dec 01st 2014
141
      i have too and it's not what i thought initially.
Dec 01st 2014
144
agreed
Dec 01st 2014
125
imma have a chat with him and see how things seem to me
Dec 01st 2014
140
RE: agreed
Dec 01st 2014
149
      this guy doesn't wanna love her, he wants to bone her.
Dec 01st 2014
155
           actually, he told me that he's not in love and that they are
Dec 01st 2014
160
                he wants the booty
Dec 01st 2014
166
                word up.
Dec 01st 2014
167
                dont hold back, now. i came here for okps opinion
Dec 01st 2014
169
                     yeah, he's lying in wait.
Dec 01st 2014
179
                see you should have included all of this in the OP.
Dec 01st 2014
172
                     it wasn't the point of the op
Dec 01st 2014
174
                          asking our opinion was
Dec 01st 2014
185
                               lol, honestly i didnt see how all of that complication was relevant
Dec 01st 2014
192
                                    It's completely relevant to the situation
Dec 01st 2014
201
                                         i'd also say it's about accountability
Dec 01st 2014
202
                                         it's not a faux friendship. i genuinely like his as a friend
Dec 01st 2014
216
                                         there is no way any of that info would have elicited accurate
Dec 01st 2014
215
                                              You don't think more info=more accurate opinions?
Dec 02nd 2014
239
Not always.
Dec 01st 2014
158
      RE: Not always.
Dec 01st 2014
168
Women made such swell friends.
Dec 01st 2014
105
...said the man with the broken dong
Dec 01st 2014
154
      you're the only one here who ever read a book i see
Dec 01st 2014
205
           i couldnt leave you hanging after a reference like that
Dec 07th 2014
240
Chick friends are cool.
Dec 01st 2014
134
If women cut off every male friend who showed interest in us, we'd
Dec 01st 2014
143
and?
Dec 01st 2014
150
Women are generally delusional about this.
Dec 01st 2014
161
that's what i'm saying, lol. sowhat has no problem having both
Dec 01st 2014
175
      not every dude wants to be romantical
Dec 01st 2014
176
      Not all guys want a relationship, but most straight guys will try you up...
Dec 01st 2014
181
      my GUESS is he just wants 'a bang'
Dec 01st 2014
182
      I be trying, tho. I hit him up every quarter just to see if he still gay...
Dec 01st 2014
178
      lol
Dec 01st 2014
183
      I see you, lfresh and I are gonna have a fight to the death huh?
Dec 01st 2014
186
           I mean...we might have to scrap it out
Dec 01st 2014
187
           see I'm poly so I know how to share
Dec 01st 2014
189
                yeah, naw. When he mine, he MINEZ.
Dec 01st 2014
190
           lol!
Dec 02nd 2014
229
      yes but i'm not close to any gay dudes who want the goodies
Dec 01st 2014
180
           so even if you made your goodies available none of your friends
Dec 01st 2014
184
                no. none of them who are my friends would bite.
Dec 01st 2014
188
                     lol @ because no
Dec 01st 2014
193
Wrong? No. Self-sabotage? Absolutely. It’s just a terrible idea.
Dec 01st 2014
145
the original OP sounds like she wanted to force a friendship...
Dec 01st 2014
162
he's going to go in it thinkin' he'll eventually wear you down or grow o...
Dec 01st 2014
194
stranger things have happened.
Dec 01st 2014
196
      maybe I read this wrong but it sounds like you are playing a lil game
Dec 01st 2014
203
      i'm bullshitting. i already know what i'mma do. he stands no
Dec 01st 2014
209
           *daps*
Dec 01st 2014
217
                RE: *daps*
Dec 02nd 2014
236
      girl, bye.
Dec 01st 2014
206
Why don't you switch roles?
Dec 01st 2014
195
ive been there. i survived and i wanted that friendship because he
Dec 01st 2014
197
so basically u want to be friends with his representative
Dec 01st 2014
199
i like to think i'm a good judge of character. if this is his A game
Dec 01st 2014
212
dude gotta be mature
Dec 01st 2014
204
I'd wager he's a fool. or already has a plate-full of pussy, or both.
Dec 01st 2014
207
do you change clothes around him? do you mind if he notices a nipple?
Dec 01st 2014
208
0_o the hell? the f*ck? maaaan, c'mon now. quit playing
Dec 01st 2014
210
      it happens.
Dec 01st 2014
214
nope. i have a guy friend like that...
Dec 01st 2014
211
i mean, that's not so bad, right?
Dec 01st 2014
213
      smh homie gonna be feeling like this at dinner
Dec 01st 2014
218
      dinner with you is torture. you ain't shit.
Dec 01st 2014
219
           I dunno, given how he's pining after her, she might be the shit
Dec 01st 2014
220
           He's being taken advantage of. She's bored. Its common. Its life.
Dec 01st 2014
222
                u stupid... but also 100% correct
Dec 02nd 2014
225
                this
Dec 02nd 2014
228
                nope. there is mutual benefit. mono y mono
Dec 02nd 2014
235
           lol
Dec 02nd 2014
234
nope, because men want to screw everyone anyway
Dec 01st 2014
221
exactly. you may as well ask if it's okay to have male friends...
Dec 02nd 2014
232
      this is wrong and not true
Dec 07th 2014
241
No man wants to be just friends with you
Dec 01st 2014
223
Stop speaking for all men
Dec 02nd 2014
226
      No
Dec 02nd 2014
227
RE: is it wrong to try to force a friendship w/ someone you know wants
Dec 02nd 2014
224
and what he wants aint wrong and very selfish?
Dec 02nd 2014
233
hits kinda close to home....wish i had advice
Dec 02nd 2014
230
Not if you make it abundantly clear that it's not going to happen.
Dec 02nd 2014
231
right. no mixed signals whatsoever, capt. i'm fair and kind
Dec 02nd 2014
237
Yes.
Dec 02nd 2014
238

8-bit
Member since Jan 12th 2010
10841 posts
Mon Dec-01-14 12:46 PM

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1. "So, basically you want to put a dude into the friendzone?"
In response to Reply # 0
Mon Dec-01-14 12:46 PM by 8-bit

  

          

Actually, it is ok. It's dude's fault if he gets all hurt and doesn't K.I.M. once he see what time it is.

---
http://twitter.com/logicalhood
http://instagram.com/hoodlogic

  

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scout
Charter member
44572 posts
Mon Dec-01-14 12:48 PM

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2. "but we have GRRREAT conversations and always have a good"
In response to Reply # 1


  

          

time together. I am a good friend to have, man! lol
for real tho, i am. why it gotta be all or nothing?

_____________________

hello, lover.

  

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8-bit
Member since Jan 12th 2010
10841 posts
Mon Dec-01-14 01:01 PM

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31. "The main problem is TIME."
In response to Reply # 2


  

          

>time together. I am a good friend to have, man! lol
>for real tho, i am. why it gotta be all or nothing?

If dude's single and looking, then he probably won't have time for multiple women, even as friends. He's gonna have to decide on which women get his attention, and most-likely it will be the woman that's showing him romantic interest.

Nothing wrong with being just friends, but be warned: If he's like me then he'll start hollering at other women while he's out with you. That time thing... gotta be efficient.

---
http://twitter.com/logicalhood
http://instagram.com/hoodlogic

  

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scout
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44572 posts
Mon Dec-01-14 01:02 PM

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36. "and i wouldn't be mad at him at all"
In response to Reply # 31


  

          

holler away. i'm a good wing woman too

_____________________

hello, lover.

  

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TheVillageIdiot
Member since Aug 02nd 2006
357 posts
Mon Dec-01-14 12:50 PM

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3. "it's selfish i'd say"
In response to Reply # 0


          

but like the other reply mentioned onus is more on dude to realize it ain't gonna happen and keep it movin.

The village idiot will come forth
To be acclaimed the leader

  

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Joe Corn Mo
Member since Aug 29th 2010
15139 posts
Mon Dec-01-14 12:51 PM

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4. "if you all are friends, you are friends. "
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

if the fact that he has (or had) romantic feelings for you
is weirding either of you out to the point where the
friendship won't work, then one of you two should end it.

if not, make it do what it do.

  

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scout
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44572 posts
Mon Dec-01-14 12:53 PM

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8. "it hasn't gotten to that point yet. "
In response to Reply # 4


  

          

i had to check him twice but since then everything seems to be okay.

_____________________

hello, lover.

  

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Riot
Member since May 25th 2005
14612 posts
Mon Dec-01-14 12:51 PM

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5. "just dont be mad at the hail mary/habitual line stepping"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

making it "perfectly clear" yet still hanging out
or worse, letting dude spend money on u

means he just waiting for that mixed signal opportunity to present itself


and sometimes it works



and and, sometimes it turns into a full-fledged 'its complicated'



)))--####---###--(((

bunda
<-.-> ^_^ \^0^/
get busy living, or get busy dying.

  

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Brotha Sun
Member since Dec 31st 2009
6351 posts
Mon Dec-01-14 12:51 PM

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6. "Lol come on yo. You know its fucked up. "
In response to Reply # 0


          

He knows its fucked up.

I'll tell you the same thing I'd tell a nigga asking "is it wrong if we stay fuck buddies if she wants a relationship?", just enjoy each other until it eventually falls apart. *shrug*


"They used to call me Baby Luke....but now? The whole damn 2 Liiiive Crew."

  

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scout
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44572 posts
Mon Dec-01-14 12:55 PM

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12. "RE: Lol come on yo. You know its fucked up. "
In response to Reply # 6


  

          

hrmm...but friendship and fuck buddy are in no way the same.

_____________________

hello, lover.

  

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BabySoulRebel
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19232 posts
Mon Dec-01-14 12:59 PM

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23. "you still want to fit a square peg in a round hole tho"
In response to Reply # 12


  

          

there is a party who wants more than the other is willing to give in both scenarios
in that sense I would say it's the same

here for dis.

  

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scout
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44572 posts
Mon Dec-01-14 01:04 PM

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38. "most men want to fuck tho, lol. "
In response to Reply # 23


  

          

i'm doing whats in my best interest and he should do the same, imo. and if he's smart he'll see that being friends with me is a great move

_____________________

hello, lover.

  

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BabySoulRebel
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19232 posts
Mon Dec-01-14 01:08 PM

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48. "and?"
In response to Reply # 38


  

          

ALL straight men would fuck if given the shot
that doesn't excuse you from keeping him hanging on a string
I wouldn't want to be friends with any man who was sticking around mainly just to see if I crack the dick-in-a-glass box at any point to begin with now that I'm 30. I'm too lazy now to keep up any charades.

here for dis.

  

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scout
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44572 posts
Mon Dec-01-14 01:11 PM

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54. "RE: and?"
In response to Reply # 48


  

          

>that doesn't excuse you from keeping him hanging on a string

that's not my intention. i've made myself clear that it's not happening.
i'm not trying to lead him on and i've said as much.

>I wouldn't want to be friends with any man who was sticking
>around mainly just to see if I crack the dick-in-a-glass box

me either, hence this post. i value yalls opinions. thx

>at any point to begin with now that I'm 30. I'm too lazy now
>to keep up any charades.

right, aint nobody got time for that

_____________________

hello, lover.

  

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Brotha Sun
Member since Dec 31st 2009
6351 posts
Mon Dec-01-14 01:35 PM

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91. "Oh okay. Good luck."
In response to Reply # 12


          

"They used to call me Baby Luke....but now? The whole damn 2 Liiiive Crew."

  

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scout
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112. "thanks, lol"
In response to Reply # 91


  

          

_____________________

hello, lover.

  

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RaFromQueens
Member since Apr 18th 2006
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Mon Dec-01-14 12:51 PM

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7. "Yes and many, many women are guilty."
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

I don't know how they can do that.

---
"People that need positivity around them all the time are weak individuals in my book" - @lilduval

  

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TheVillageIdiot
Member since Aug 02nd 2006
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Mon Dec-01-14 12:54 PM

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"people like attention "


          

The village idiot will come forth
To be acclaimed the leader

  

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scout
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21. "I don't need attention. I like his company and conversation."
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

_____________________

hello, lover.

  

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Deadzombie
Member since Aug 21st 2008
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Mon Dec-01-14 01:05 PM

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40. "of course you do. he really is offering his best material"
In response to Reply # 21


          

in hopes you'd come around.


fuck this post.

  

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ThaAnthology
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41. "so you like HIS attention"
In response to Reply # 21


  

          

www.anthologyfmn.com

Enter the Written World of Fahim Malik Nassar

The House of Caine (available)

Melancholoy Funk (available)

Tha Anthology (Words 2001-2003) Poetry inspired by OKP and Wash, DC
(available)

The Spook who sat by the Radio Poetry (av

  

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scout
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49. "nope, lol. i like our intellectual conversations. seriously. if i liked"
In response to Reply # 41


  

          

his "attention" he wouldn't be in the friend zone. i'm not insecure, i don't need attention. i really truly just like his friendship a lot

_____________________

hello, lover.

  

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T Reynolds
Member since Apr 16th 2007
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Mon Dec-01-14 01:13 PM

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58. "I believe you"
In response to Reply # 49


  

          

  

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scout
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62. "thank you, trey"
In response to Reply # 58


  

          

_____________________

hello, lover.

  

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TheVillageIdiot
Member since Aug 02nd 2006
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45. "now you lying to yourself"
In response to Reply # 21


          

The village idiot will come forth
To be acclaimed the leader

  

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scout
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17. "so i should cut him off?"
In response to Reply # 7


  

          

_____________________

hello, lover.

  

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RaFromQueens
Member since Apr 18th 2006
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200. "Ask yourself why he's coming around"
In response to Reply # 17


  

          

then ask yourself whether it's important to you to be a good person or not.

---
"People that need positivity around them all the time are weak individuals in my book" - @lilduval

  

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BabyYoda
Member since Feb 15th 2012
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Mon Dec-01-14 12:54 PM

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9. "Why?"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

Why would you want to force anyone to do anything? If you made it clear that someone can only be platonic friends with you then he needs to respect your decision and either be platonic friends with you or leave you alone and find someone who is willing to be romantic with him.

I get wanting to be platonic friends with someone as well as liking said person's company, but if you know that this guy will press you to be more than friends, then you may need to fall back and leave him alone. I think you both can not be platonic friends ends unless the both of you agree to be platonic friends. Otherwise, there will be some conflict, even if it is subtle with no arguments.

  

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SoWhat
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10. "yeah it's wrong and it's on the other person to see it"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

and to cut you off.

fuck you.

  

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scout
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24. "but damn, i'm not using him. i'm being a cool ass friend. why i "
In response to Reply # 10


  

          

gotta fuck?

_____________________

hello, lover.

  

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SoWhat
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55. "you don't."
In response to Reply # 24


  

          

i dunno this guy or y'all's situation other than what i've read.

the story in the OP reminds me of situations i've been in - and i've been on both sides of this issue. in my experience the party who wants the romantic relationship doesn't get over that desire for romance. and if they agree to be a friend the agreement is premised on their lingering desire for a romantic relationship. their 'friendship' isn't true friendship - they're acting as a 'friend' hoping that the uninterested party will change their mind about the romance. in the interest of changing the uninterested's mind this 'friend' will attempt to be The Perfect Friend. they won't actually be themselves. meanwhile the uninterested party is getting everything s/he wants from the 'friendship' and the interested party gets mostly consternation. the real test of the friendship comes when the uninterested party develops a romantic interest in someone other than the 'friend'. in my experience, the 'friend' is crushed by this development - but a true friend wouldn't be crushed if their friend starts seeing someone romantically. that right there tells the truth behind the lie - the 2 parties weren't actually friends at all.

but i digress...you don't have to bone this guy to be a good friend. in fact i think boning him would be the worst thing you could do to him considering your knowledge of his feelings. i dunno the guy and maybe he's not like me or the guys i've experienced this with. maybe y'all are different.

from the outside continuing w/the friendship seems selfish on your part and foolish on his.

fuck you.

  

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scout
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60. "*sigh. "
In response to Reply # 55


  

          

i was afraid of this. i'mma fall back. oh well. thanks Morpheus

_____________________

hello, lover.

  

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lfresh
Member since Jun 18th 2002
92693 posts
Mon Dec-01-14 02:10 PM

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124. "wait!"
In response to Reply # 60


  

          

it all depends on the level of interest hes shown

and his behavior going forward

it will help if you continue to hold your line firmly with no missteps

unlikely isnt impossible

it all depends on how long have you been friends?
did he confess feelings and they've been held on to for a long time?
probably not going to work

is this over a year or two and yall rarwly hung out but he realized hey this is a possible and made an effort?
maybe yall both grown

he keeps trying though you made it clear verbally and otherwise
you pay for your own things on outtings
you dont snuggle with dude or get too intimate like you would with someone you are dating

if he keep doing the *sigh* romanticizing you or your friendship
or keeps trying to get in the drawls

then nah

also hold him to the same standards as your other friendships


~~~~
When you are born, you cry, and the world rejoices. Live so that when you die, you rejoice, and the world cries.
~~~~
You cannot hate people for their own good.

  

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scout
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156. "okay yes! "
In response to Reply # 124


  

          

>it all depends on the level of interest hes shown
>
>and his behavior going forward
>
>it will help if you continue to hold your line firmly with no
>missteps
>
>unlikely isnt impossible
>
>it all depends on how long have you been friends?

about a year.

>did he confess feelings and they've been held on to for a long
>time?

nope. he makes comments and when called on them feels embarrassed and claims he was kidding. then he kissed me once and after i sternly told him that wasn't cool, he said it wouldn't happen again.

>probably not going to work
>
>is this over a year or two and yall rarwly hung out but he
>realized hey this is a possible and made an effort?
>maybe yall both grown
>
>he keeps trying though you made it clear verbally and
>otherwise
>you pay for your own things on outtings
>you dont snuggle with dude or get too intimate like you would
>with someone you are dating
>
>if he keep doing the *sigh* romanticizing you or your
>friendship
>or keeps trying to get in the drawls
>
>then nah
>
>also hold him to the same standards as your other friendships

bet!

_____________________

hello, lover.

  

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SoWhat
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165. "again: is he your only friend?"
In response to Reply # 156
Mon Dec-01-14 02:55 PM by SoWhat

  

          

LOL - i only ask that b/c i think i'd find that behavior annoying enough that i'd cool off my friendship w/that guy. unless he were my only friend or Best Friend.

when i've been on your side of this issue i've become fucking annoyed by the entreaties for sex after i've been clear that it ain't happening.

i have an acquaintance like that now - we only see each other out and about but we used to be closer. i put distance between us b/c his 'jokes' about wanting to fuck me had become tedious. it was clear his interest in sex had clouded his ability to relate to me on just about any other level. he was mostly cool but just couldn't stop throwing around little comments about how sexy i am or how good the sex between us would be or whatever whatever. it was flattering at first and then it just wasn't and now it's kinda creepy.

but your friend might not be such a creep about it.

fuck you.

  

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scout
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173. "no but he offers things the other friends dont"
In response to Reply # 165


  

          

>LOL - i only ask that b/c i think i'd find that behavior
>annoying enough that i'd cool off my friendship w/that guy.
>unless he were my only friend or Best Friend.
>when i've been on your side of this issue i've become fucking
>annoyed by the entreaties for sex after i've been clear that
>it ain't happening.

and yes, the times it has happened i was annoyed as fuck and let it be known. now if it happens again? that's it for me. i'm done trying.

>i have an acquaintance like that now - we only see each other
>out and about but we used to be closer. i put distance
>between us b/c his 'jokes' about wanting to fuck me had become
>tedious. it was clear his interest in sex had clouded his
>ability to relate to me on just about any other level. he was
>mostly cool but just couldn't stop throwing around little
>comments about how sexy i am or how good the sex between us
>would be or whatever whatever. it was flattering at first and
>then it just wasn't and now it's kinda creepy.
>
>but your friend might not be such a creep about it.


_____________________

hello, lover.

  

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Deadzombie
Member since Aug 21st 2008
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Mon Dec-01-14 02:00 PM

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119. "this is spot on. "
In response to Reply # 55


          

im not coming back to this thread.

im getting more and more pissed off on behalf of the guy.

  

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lightworks
Member since Feb 17th 2006
5818 posts
Mon Dec-01-14 02:38 PM

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152. "Let the church say amen."
In response to Reply # 55


          

  

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TheVillageIdiot
Member since Aug 02nd 2006
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Mon Dec-01-14 01:01 PM

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30. "pretty much. "
In response to Reply # 10


          

cuz obviously the girl is not going to end it because she likes the attention she's getting or maybe doesn't want to hurt his feelings.
dude needs to stop being a simp.

The village idiot will come forth
To be acclaimed the leader

  

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T Reynolds
Member since Apr 16th 2007
42156 posts
Mon Dec-01-14 12:55 PM

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11. "hook him up with one of your friends"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

if you feel like you couldn't do that then you really do like keeping him around for the attention

  

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scout
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Mon Dec-01-14 01:00 PM

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28. "i would if a) i had a friend who i thought would be interested, and "
In response to Reply # 11


  

          

b) he wasn't already in a complicated relationship w/ someone else

_____________________

hello, lover.

  

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T Reynolds
Member since Apr 16th 2007
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Mon Dec-01-14 01:01 PM

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32. "THE PLOT THICKENS"
In response to Reply # 28


  

          

  

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scout
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39. "he aint innocent ;)"
In response to Reply # 32


  

          

_____________________

hello, lover.

  

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T Reynolds
Member since Apr 16th 2007
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Mon Dec-01-14 01:07 PM

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46. "if he was single would everything more or less stay the same between"
In response to Reply # 39


  

          

you two?

  

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BabySoulRebel
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51. "can we take bets now?"
In response to Reply # 46


  

          

I say if he was completely single, the sex would've happened already lol

here for dis.

  

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T Reynolds
Member since Apr 16th 2007
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Mon Dec-01-14 01:11 PM

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53. "yerp lol"
In response to Reply # 51


  

          

but I am curious though

maybe it's as simple as her not being attracted to him

  

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scout
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Mon Dec-01-14 01:21 PM

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70. "yall are foul, lol. but youre right about me not being attracted to "
In response to Reply # 53


  

          

him. he's not completely unattractive...but he's not someone i would immediately find appealing physically. he's cool as fuck and, at first, i was trying to be open minded but no dice. and as i got to know him better i realized i wasn't attracted at all and couldn't/shouldn't force it. but we still could be great friends if he didnt want my sex.

_____________________

hello, lover.

  

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T Reynolds
Member since Apr 16th 2007
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Mon Dec-01-14 01:35 PM

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90. "yeah that's pretty straightforward really"
In response to Reply # 70


  

          

but it does not lend itself to a straightforward resolution

you realize, he may understand the attraction difference and be seeking to stay in your good graces by being 'such a cool, fun guy'.

like it could be a Darwinian trait to slip past the guard

but I don't know enough to say he has separate feelings of friendship that he can work to isolate from the physical stuff

people painting you as the wrong one, but he could be the one running game by playing the friend role

  

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scout
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Mon Dec-01-14 01:40 PM

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101. "exactly! and a lot of men play this game."
In response to Reply # 90
Mon Dec-01-14 01:50 PM by scout

  

          

i would really hate to lose his friendship but i'm thinking that, after we chat about it, it may be best for me to disappear

_____________________

hello, lover.

  

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scout
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Mon Dec-01-14 01:17 PM

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65. "yes. at one point i did entertain the idea of an 'us' but then"
In response to Reply # 46


  

          

something happened that changed my mind. and since then i've had even more reason to just want to be friends. he wouldn't survive with me, lol. he's not confident enough, etc.

_____________________

hello, lover.

  

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nayaa
Member since Oct 06th 2009
20190 posts
Mon Dec-01-14 12:56 PM

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13. "i never understood why the girl's in the wrong"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

i feel if i tell you i'm not interested and give you a choice to walk away or continue being JUST friends

and you choose to be friends with me, then that's on you.

if you also choose to stay because you believe that i may change my mind, then that's on you, too.

i'm TELLING you i won't. it aint what i want. you aint a child. this isn't a matter of needing to be convinced otherwise.

why am i in the wrong?

~
IG: @fireysky

  

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Deadzombie
Member since Aug 21st 2008
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Mon Dec-01-14 12:58 PM

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19. "in his mind, you're keeping him around because you like him a little"
In response to Reply # 13


          

but need to be convinced some more.

he's up for the challenge.

but the reality is there is no prize in the end.

you're just bored.

you're having fun with him?

of course you are. he likes you and is using his best material on you.

  

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nayaa
Member since Oct 06th 2009
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Mon Dec-01-14 12:59 PM

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25. "*shrug* sorry, my sympathy levels are so low on this"
In response to Reply # 19


  

          

cuz i pride myself in communicating where i'm at always

and i'd never leave room for interpretation.

so he can believe whatever he wants..what he should be doing is listening to me and acting in his best interest.

~
IG: @fireysky

  

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scout
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33. "^^^^^^"
In response to Reply # 25


  

          

_____________________

hello, lover.

  

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teefiveten
Member since Oct 02nd 2008
33019 posts
Mon Dec-01-14 01:02 PM

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34. "lots of people say one thing and do another"
In response to Reply # 25


  

          

or people hear one thing and take actions to be different

usually it's a situation where someone is saying they care but their actions contradict

ideally it should be simple to take word over actions and roll w/ that but the actions complicate things.



*************************************
like.me
http://tinyurl.com/3z8486u

"if the children are not initiated into the village they will burn it down just to feel its warmth." - african proverb

  

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Deadzombie
Member since Aug 21st 2008
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Mon Dec-01-14 01:03 PM

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37. "your words should match your actions."
In response to Reply # 25


          

you're 'saying' one thing. but yall at the movies every weekend.

or going out to dinner.

or parties.

or chilling at the house.

  

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teefiveten
Member since Oct 02nd 2008
33019 posts
Mon Dec-01-14 01:05 PM

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42. "and those things build feelings"
In response to Reply # 37


  

          

unless you start like doing some real disgusting things to make him not attracted he's likely going to keep growing the affection based off the stuff you do together

*************************************
like.me
http://tinyurl.com/3z8486u

"if the children are not initiated into the village they will burn it down just to feel its warmth." - african proverb

  

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Deadzombie
Member since Aug 21st 2008
13358 posts
Mon Dec-01-14 01:06 PM

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43. "they build feelings, and illusions, and thoughts of '... one day'"
In response to Reply # 42


          

  

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BabySoulRebel
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"and then when it finally sinks in that it will NEVER happen"


  

          

we become the biggest bitches and hoes on the planet
Nobody wins when the friendzone game is played
NOBODY

here for dis.

  

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teefiveten
Member since Oct 02nd 2008
33019 posts
Mon Dec-01-14 01:15 PM

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61. "LOL for real. it's not worth it. and im IN THIS SITUATION"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

lol. for now. but homeboy gets hella ladies and doesnt live in nyc so i rejected him outright and we actually are friends. but because he doesnt live here it's not like we're super close

he knows where i stand and he's fine with it. but if our next encounter results in him trying to make another pass, friendship done.

*************************************
like.me
http://tinyurl.com/3z8486u

"if the children are not initiated into the village they will burn it down just to feel its warmth." - african proverb

  

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MiQL
Member since Sep 03rd 2002
7206 posts
Mon Dec-01-14 01:21 PM

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71. "^^^"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

"a little air restriction ain't hurt nobody." - BSR

  

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SoWhat
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Mon Dec-01-14 01:27 PM

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77. "^^ correct."
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

fuck you.

  

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TheVillageIdiot
Member since Aug 02nd 2006
357 posts
Mon Dec-01-14 01:29 PM

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80. "bingo"
In response to Reply # 0


          

The village idiot will come forth
To be acclaimed the leader

  

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scout
Charter member
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Mon Dec-01-14 01:25 PM

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74. "i think that since i lecture him sometimes and i'm frank and shit"
In response to Reply # 42


  

          

and dont try to be all cutesy that MAYBE he'll start seeing me more as a sister and not a potential piece of ass

_____________________

hello, lover.

  

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SoWhat
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Mon Dec-01-14 01:14 PM

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59. "try a little empathy."
In response to Reply # 25


  

          

fuck you.

  

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teefiveten
Member since Oct 02nd 2008
33019 posts
Mon Dec-01-14 01:18 PM

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"for real. it's tough w/ the feelings"


  

          

especially when hanging w/ them feels so damn good

i haven't been in this situation in a LOOOONG time, as far as liking someone who wasn't having it (and we kinda already had dated but i wanted to be his girlfriend)

he straight up ended hanging out with me. it hurt sooo bad but he was right. i couldn't deal just chilling and he knew i wasn't about to give up and leave on my own accord. it was painful but i appreciate the shit out of him for that.

*************************************
like.me
http://tinyurl.com/3z8486u

"if the children are not initiated into the village they will burn it down just to feel its warmth." - african proverb

  

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SoWhat
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Mon Dec-01-14 01:27 PM

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76. "yup. having been on the bad side of this"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

more than once i now don't accept friendship from dudes who've let me know they want romance where i'm uninterested.

fuck you.

  

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TheVillageIdiot
Member since Aug 02nd 2006
357 posts
Mon Dec-01-14 01:31 PM

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82. "sometimes you gotta save people from themselves"
In response to Reply # 0
Mon Dec-01-14 01:32 PM by TheVillageIdiot

          

>especially when hanging w/ them feels so damn good
>
>i haven't been in this situation in a LOOOONG time, as far as
>liking someone who wasn't having it (and we kinda already had
>dated but i wanted to be his girlfriend)
>
>he straight up ended hanging out with me. it hurt sooo bad but
>he was right. i couldn't deal just chilling and he knew i
>wasn't about to give up and leave on my own accord. it was
>painful but i appreciate the shit out of him for that.

that's part of just being a decent human being. yea you may tell someone look "i'm not interested in a relationship" but if you know they aren't hearing you or your actions are running contrary to what you're saying then the decent thing to do is to end it.

The village idiot will come forth
To be acclaimed the leader

  

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teefiveten
Member since Oct 02nd 2008
33019 posts
Mon Dec-01-14 01:32 PM

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85. "agreed. especially if they truly ARE your friend"
In response to Reply # 82
Mon Dec-01-14 01:33 PM by teefiveten

  

          

.

*************************************
like.me
http://tinyurl.com/3z8486u

"if the children are not initiated into the village they will burn it down just to feel its warmth." - african proverb

  

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Deadzombie
Member since Aug 21st 2008
13358 posts
Mon Dec-01-14 01:49 PM

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111. "this should be the quote that defines this post."
In response to Reply # 82


          

  

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MiQL
Member since Sep 03rd 2002
7206 posts
Mon Dec-01-14 01:56 PM

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116. "Yup. Definitely."
In response to Reply # 82


  

          

"a little air restriction ain't hurt nobody." - BSR

  

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teefiveten
Member since Oct 02nd 2008
33019 posts
Mon Dec-01-14 12:58 PM

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22. "because emotionally you can end the charade lol"
In response to Reply # 13
Mon Dec-01-14 01:00 PM by teefiveten

  

          

clearly they think they can handle it or are willing to take what they can get but their emotions get the best of them

this is like if a girl really likes a guy and wants to be wifed and he's not with that. even though he's straight up telling her it's never gonna happen. it's not nice or fun but you gotta put the hammer down on shit like that because in the situation you described, the girl is the only one thinking/acting clearly. at that point, you have to euthanize the shit. looks like a perfectly good relationship but it's not. dude can't handle it and can't control wanting more.

*************************************
like.me
http://tinyurl.com/3z8486u

"if the children are not initiated into the village they will burn it down just to feel its warmth." - african proverb

  

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infin8
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Mon Dec-01-14 01:00 PM

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27. "because patriarchy I guess. "
In response to Reply # 13


  

          

we have been 'taught' (LOL) that no dont always mean no, and that we know what you want (better than yew doo). Y'all dont know what y'all are missing. I got great convo and great dick that you dont eem know you want yet.

so, Imma just keep hanging around til you 'come' around.

Right?

and I'm not sayin the OP is 'wrong'.

IG: amadu_me

"...Whateva, man..." (c) Redman

  

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Binlahab
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Mon Dec-01-14 01:01 PM

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29. "If men accepted every no as final we would literally never get laid"
In response to Reply # 13


  

          

This is a negotiation y'all just don't know it yet

Do you think he's making scout laugh and having these deep convos with her because he likes her personality?

He's trying to get in and doing everything he can think of to keep that door sliiiightly ajar

She says no now...sooner or later she won't. He's just gonna bide his time


does it really matter?

for all my fans who keep my name in their mouth: http://i.imgur.com/v2xNOpS.jpg

  

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TheVillageIdiot
Member since Aug 02nd 2006
357 posts
Mon Dec-01-14 01:02 PM

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35. "the boyfriend that sat by the door"
In response to Reply # 29


          


>
>She says no now...sooner or later she won't. He's just gonna
>bide his time
>
>

The village idiot will come forth
To be acclaimed the leader

  

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scout
Charter member
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Mon Dec-01-14 01:27 PM

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75. "LOL"
In response to Reply # 35


  

          

_____________________

hello, lover.

  

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astralblak
Member since Apr 05th 2007
20029 posts
Mon Dec-01-14 05:09 PM

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198. "LOFL"
In response to Reply # 35


  

          

.

  

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blackrussian
Member since Oct 17th 2010
6498 posts
Mon Dec-01-14 01:32 PM

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84. "this is where i'm at, IN THEORY"
In response to Reply # 13


  

          

but we know that shit doesn't play out that way in reality when it comes to people's emotions, and as the non-emoting one, sometimes you gotta just nip it in the bud.

  

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Brotha Sun
Member since Dec 31st 2009
6351 posts
Mon Dec-01-14 01:39 PM

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99. ""Why should the dealer apologize to his fiends?", they cried."
In response to Reply # 13


          

"They used to call me Baby Luke....but now? The whole damn 2 Liiiive Crew."

  

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Deadzombie
Member since Aug 21st 2008
13358 posts
Mon Dec-01-14 12:56 PM

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14. "if you care about him, leave him alone. otherwise, youre a piece of shit..."
In response to Reply # 0


          

  

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Binlahab
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Mon Dec-01-14 12:56 PM

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15. "I'm in the give him some camp"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

Jesus it's just sex y'all act like you guarding ft knox

You like this guy he likes you you're both single give him a shot...if he screws up the friend zone him but what if he knocks them boots from here to Reno?


does it really matter?

for all my fans who keep my name in their mouth: http://i.imgur.com/v2xNOpS.jpg

  

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scout
Charter member
44572 posts
Mon Dec-01-14 01:07 PM

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44. "-_- bin, i dont just give out samples of my cooch all willy nilly"
In response to Reply # 15


  

          

_____________________

hello, lover.

  

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Binlahab
Charter member
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Mon Dec-01-14 03:16 PM

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177. "^^^^the core issue right there! why not?!"
In response to Reply # 44


  

          

see this is what im saying


does it really matter?

for all my fans who keep my name in their mouth: http://i.imgur.com/v2xNOpS.jpg

  

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infin8
Charter member
10247 posts
Mon Dec-01-14 12:56 PM

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16. "leave him alone"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

he will probly always hope it turns into a draws sitauation.

IG: amadu_me

"...Whateva, man..." (c) Redman

  

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Joe Corn Mo
Member since Aug 29th 2010
15139 posts
Mon Dec-01-14 12:58 PM

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18. "QUESTION: are you all friends like for real?"
In response to Reply # 0
Mon Dec-01-14 01:00 PM by Joe Corn Mo

  

          

because can count my friends on 2 hands and have a bunch of fingers left over.
of that amount, 3 of them i was attracted to at one point,
but we are ride or die friends so it's not a thing that really affected the friendship.


but some ppl count everybody they kinda like talking to as a "friend."
i don't know the protocol for that.

if somebody i once had romantic interest that i had no interest
in building a friendship with had no romantic interest in me, we'll be cordial to each other once i know it ain't gonna happen but we won't really hang out.

i don't count everybody i am cordial to as a friend though.
i mean, i'm cordial to damn near everybody.

  

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legsdiamond
Member since May 05th 2011
68751 posts
Mon Dec-01-14 01:07 PM

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47. "is he a good friend because he is attracted to her? "
In response to Reply # 18


          

I've been friend zoned before and once "I" put her in the "friend zone" she said I was acting weird.

  

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Deadzombie
Member since Aug 21st 2008
13358 posts
Mon Dec-01-14 01:09 PM

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50. "good question."
In response to Reply # 47


          

  

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Joe Corn Mo
Member since Aug 29th 2010
15139 posts
Mon Dec-01-14 01:11 PM

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56. "i was ASKING if they were friends. "
In response to Reply # 47


  

          

no, being attracted to somebody doesn't make you a good friend.

as i said, i can count my friends on two hands.
but the word friendship means something different to me
than other ppl, i think.

the dude i watch fights with occasionally and shoot the shit with every once in a while
ain't my "friend."

i am asking how SHE is defining friendship.


>I've been friend zoned before and once "I" put her in the
>"friend zone" she said I was acting weird.
>
>

  

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legsdiamond
Member since May 05th 2011
68751 posts
Mon Dec-01-14 01:12 PM

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57. "and I'm asking a different question... "
In response to Reply # 56


          

sorry if it upset you.

  

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Deadzombie
Member since Aug 21st 2008
13358 posts
Mon Dec-01-14 01:16 PM

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64. "the only real female friends are either ugly or family."
In response to Reply # 57


          

  

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Joe Corn Mo
Member since Aug 29th 2010
15139 posts
Mon Dec-01-14 01:20 PM

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69. "^ homosocial. "
In response to Reply # 64


  

          

nttatwwt.
i am also homosocial.

but there are heterosocial men that enjoy being friends with women,
even if there's no chance of fucking.

it happens.

  

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Joe Corn Mo
Member since Aug 29th 2010
15139 posts
Mon Dec-01-14 01:18 PM

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66. "i answered your question. "
In response to Reply # 57


  

          

the answer is, "no."

>sorry if it upset you.


i'm sorry you're under the impression was upsetting to me.
if you thought it did, maybe that's because you're an idiot.

i'm sorry about that.
you being an idiot, i mean.

  

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legsdiamond
Member since May 05th 2011
68751 posts
Mon Dec-01-14 01:36 PM

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93. "you trying to hard bruh... "
In response to Reply # 66


          

  

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Joe Corn Mo
Member since Aug 29th 2010
15139 posts
Mon Dec-01-14 01:37 PM

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95. "yes it's because i care so deeply. "
In response to Reply # 93


  

          

i'm not being dismissive at all.

  

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legsdiamond
Member since May 05th 2011
68751 posts
Mon Dec-01-14 01:39 PM

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98. "whatever it is, you are doing too much of it. "
In response to Reply # 95


          

Ionno.. maybe it's because I had a great weekend in NYC but I can't help but laugh at some of the shit yall carry around on here.

  

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Joe Corn Mo
Member since Aug 29th 2010
15139 posts
Mon Dec-01-14 01:43 PM

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108. "right on. "
In response to Reply # 98


  

          

  

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scout
Charter member
44572 posts
Mon Dec-01-14 01:33 PM

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86. "men sometimes make great friends. too much estrogen gets "
In response to Reply # 47


  

          

exhausting at times. i be needing that male perspective on shit, not the fairy tale/shit smelling floral advice that most women give.

_____________________

hello, lover.

  

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legsdiamond
Member since May 05th 2011
68751 posts
Mon Dec-01-14 01:37 PM

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96. "I feel you... and also just read he has an SO"
In response to Reply # 86


          

so umm, yeah. LOL... dude ain't a simp on the sidelines.

You good.

  

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scout
Charter member
44572 posts
Mon Dec-01-14 01:42 PM

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106. "right! lol, he's a predator"
In response to Reply # 96


  

          

_____________________

hello, lover.

  

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scout
Charter member
44572 posts
Mon Dec-01-14 01:23 PM

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72. "i am selective w/ who i label as a friend. EXTREMELY selective"
In response to Reply # 18


  

          

so yes, i would say that we are real friends. unless he's been putting on a charade as some have said in this post. i care about him AS A FRIEND. but i'd understand if he skated. i'd be disappointed but i'd get it.

>because can count my friends on 2 hands and have a bunch of
>fingers left over.
>of that amount, 3 of them i was attracted to at one point,
>but we are ride or die friends so it's not a thing that really
>affected the friendship.
>
>
>but some ppl count everybody they kinda like talking to as a
>"friend."
>i don't know the protocol for that.
>
>if somebody i once had romantic interest that i had no
>interest
>in building a friendship with had no romantic interest in me,
>we'll be cordial to each other once i know it ain't gonna
>happen but we won't really hang out.
>
>i don't count everybody i am cordial to as a friend though.
>i mean, i'm cordial to damn near everybody.

_____________________

hello, lover.

  

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legsdiamond
Member since May 05th 2011
68751 posts
Mon Dec-01-14 12:58 PM

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20. "as long as you are OK with him hollaring every few days"
In response to Reply # 0


          

then sure.. be friends.

just know that eventually it will end and more than likely it won't be pretty.

  

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Deadzombie
Member since Aug 21st 2008
13358 posts
Mon Dec-01-14 01:00 PM

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26. "she might feed off of him hollaring every few days. sick shit."
In response to Reply # 20


          

  

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legsdiamond
Member since May 05th 2011
68751 posts
Mon Dec-01-14 01:10 PM

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52. "yup, I have witnessed it first hand. "
In response to Reply # 26


          

when you stop hollaring and keep it platonic.. the woman usually realizes it ain't as much fun to hang around that guy because he has "changed"

  

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BabySoulRebel
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Mon Dec-01-14 01:15 PM

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63. "the attention/ego boost they brought was the center of the friendship"
In response to Reply # 52


  

          

on this we can agree

here for dis.

  

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scout
Charter member
44572 posts
Mon Dec-01-14 01:31 PM

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81. "i seriously aint that chick so please stop. the times he's tried"
In response to Reply # 26


  

          

i shut that shit all the way down to the ground...and then stomped the fuck out of it. i'm not heartless. i dont want to give dude false hope, toy with his emotions and then be sitting up there looking crazy when he pounces on me unannounced. nah, i'm cool on all that.

_____________________

hello, lover.

  

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Deadzombie
Member since Aug 21st 2008
13358 posts
Mon Dec-01-14 01:38 PM

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97. "okay. i'll fall back on that. "
In response to Reply # 81


          

but just reading the way you type about him - im sure you're fucking his head up with the mixed signals.

bottom line is - he's too ugly or something?

  

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RS
Charter member
1260 posts
Mon Dec-01-14 04:19 PM

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191. "I see you get FZ'd often...... "
In response to Reply # 97


          

>but just reading the way you type about him - im sure you're
>fucking his head up with the mixed signals.
>
>bottom line is - he's too ugly or something?
That's too bad.

  

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legsdiamond
Member since May 05th 2011
68751 posts
Mon Dec-01-14 01:41 PM

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103. "and you said he has someone else... "
In response to Reply # 81


          

which means he isn't some helpless dude on your doorstep.

  

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scout
Charter member
44572 posts
Mon Dec-01-14 01:47 PM

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110. "right, he is not a victim here. im thinking that maybe we should"
In response to Reply # 103


  

          

have a sit down chat about it one mo gin
just to be absolutely clear about the page we're on.
and if he wants out, i wont block the door

_____________________

hello, lover.

  

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legsdiamond
Member since May 05th 2011
68751 posts
Mon Dec-01-14 02:22 PM

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128. "that reads all types of wrong"
In response to Reply # 110


          

I think you know you need to cut that dude off.

If he wants out? LOL... that nigga wants IN!!!!

  

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SoWhat
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Mon Dec-01-14 02:26 PM

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132. "-"
In response to Reply # 110
Mon Dec-01-14 02:30 PM by SoWhat

  

          


.

fuck you.

  

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TheVillageIdiot
Member since Aug 02nd 2006
357 posts
Mon Dec-01-14 02:30 PM

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139. "death by a thousand little cuts instead of just ending it definitively"
In response to Reply # 132


          

>do you have other friends?
>
>is he your Best Friend Forever?
>
>i dunno but the idea of having that tortured conversation
>AGAIN about where y'all stand and reiterating your lack of
>interest in a romantic relationship and your instance that
>your relationship remain platonic just seems...hurtful. and
>unnecessary.
>

with one thrust of the knife by just not being "Friends"

The village idiot will come forth
To be acclaimed the leader

  

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scout
Charter member
44572 posts
Mon Dec-01-14 02:33 PM

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146. "damn so if i'm wrong and he really doesn't want me then i just"
In response to Reply # 139


  

          

lose a good friend? damned if i do, damned if i dont

_____________________

hello, lover.

  

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TheVillageIdiot
Member since Aug 02nd 2006
357 posts
Mon Dec-01-14 02:37 PM

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151. "my position is that he needs to end himself but if he can't do that then..."
In response to Reply # 146


          

you should do it for him.
the fact that he is involved with someone else makes him a little less sympathetic in my eyes.
but in general I think both parties have a responsibility in these situations.

The village idiot will come forth
To be acclaimed the leader

  

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lfresh
Member since Jun 18th 2002
92693 posts
Mon Dec-01-14 02:32 PM

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142. "i think something is being missed here"
In response to Reply # 132


  

          

you might be over estimating the level of what was requested

sounds like he wanted sex not a relationship/romance

and he has a complicated relationship with an SO

it might not be there where this is tortuous/arduous

~~~~
When you are born, you cry, and the world rejoices. Live so that when you die, you rejoice, and the world cries.
~~~~
You cannot hate people for their own good.

  

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SoWhat
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Mon Dec-01-14 02:34 PM

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147. "fine."
In response to Reply # 142


  

          

fuck you.

  

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scout
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Mon Dec-01-14 02:36 PM

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148. "thank you because i'm positive that there is no actual love"
In response to Reply # 142


  

          

involved here. the only risk i see is bruising an ego, not breaking a heart. and i'd rather bruise his ego a lil bit than have him thinking we are on some other page that we aren't.

>you might be over estimating the level of what was requested
>
>sounds like he wanted sex not a relationship/romance
>
>and he has a complicated relationship with an SO
>
>it might not be there where this is tortuous/arduous
>
>~~~~
>When you are born, you cry, and the world rejoices. Live so
>that when you die, you rejoice, and the world cries.
>~~~~
>You cannot hate people for their own good.

_____________________

hello, lover.

  

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SoWhat
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Mon Dec-01-14 02:40 PM

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153. "then proceed."
In response to Reply # 148


  

          

and be prepared to deal w/regular entreaties from him whenever he thinks you've opened the door.

b/c if he just wants to fuck you and has a romantic relationship elsewhere i doubt he's going to stop trying to get the goodies just b/c you 'make it clear' that you're not interested.

shit, i've been there too. i just went through my FB friend list and unfriended every guy who was on the list b/c i want to fuck them at some point. it's like...for what? we weren't friends. i just kept them around waiting for that moment to get 'em. the shit got tedious though.

fuck you.

  

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scout
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Mon Dec-01-14 02:45 PM

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157. "lol, see this is why i need more male friends"
In response to Reply # 153


  

          

i dont wanna be facebook friends or otherwise w/ n*ggas who just wanna fuck.

_____________________

hello, lover.

  

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SoWhat
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Mon Dec-01-14 02:46 PM

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159. "then you may not wanna be this guy's friend..."
In response to Reply # 157


  

          

LOL

but i dunno him.

fuck you.

  

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scout
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Mon Dec-01-14 02:52 PM

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164. "probably not, lol. ugh"
In response to Reply # 159


  

          

_____________________

hello, lover.

  

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gumz
Member since Jan 09th 2005
20118 posts
Mon Dec-01-14 01:19 PM

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67. "you made your intentions clear...you've done your part"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

i don't think it's wrong if you're honest about it and remain consistent...it will just be an awkward friendship if you know that he is still trying to holla the whole time. that's on him though.

http://www.youtube.com/user/gumzization
twitter: @BrosefMalone

  

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Deadzombie
Member since Aug 21st 2008
13358 posts
Mon Dec-01-14 01:19 PM

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68. "so you really expect him to act like he don't want you? for real."
In response to Reply # 0


          

you don't mind him having this hungry look in the back of his eyes, but as long as he doesn't utter the words, its all good?

why would you want your friend to behave in a way that was untrue to him, just because you want someone to have fun with.

sick shit.

  

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8-bit
Member since Jan 12th 2010
10841 posts
Mon Dec-01-14 01:25 PM

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73. "lol @ "hungry look" ...if a dude's at that point, then he's got issues"
In response to Reply # 68


  

          

>you don't mind him having this hungry look in the back of his
>eyes, but as long as he doesn't utter the words, its all
>good?

There are other women out there. He can go holler at some other chick if he's starving. And I'd much prefer having a woman as a wing(wo)man in many nightlife situations vs. a dude.

---
http://twitter.com/logicalhood
http://instagram.com/hoodlogic

  

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Deadzombie
Member since Aug 21st 2008
13358 posts
Mon Dec-01-14 01:28 PM

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79. "wingwoman? fuck those."
In response to Reply # 73


          

if the wingwoman is too attractive, the mark will surely be intimidated.

or the mark will NOT be convinced that you two are or haven't had something going.

if the wingwoman is not so attractive - you're better off alone.

at best the woman should put in a good word with one of her attractive buddies, and then back all the way off.

  

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Joe Corn Mo
Member since Aug 29th 2010
15139 posts
Mon Dec-01-14 01:32 PM

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83. "this helps your chances. "
In response to Reply # 79


  

          

>if the wingwoman is too attractive, the mark will surely be
>intimidated.
>
>or the mark will NOT be convinced that you two are or haven't
>had something going.



  

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scout
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Mon Dec-01-14 01:34 PM

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89. "and the mark will be ever more intrigued in stealing you away"
In response to Reply # 83


  

          

win/win

_____________________

hello, lover.

  

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8-bit
Member since Jan 12th 2010
10841 posts
Mon Dec-01-14 01:33 PM

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87. "Nothing gets their attention faster than seeing you with another woman"
In response to Reply # 79


  

          

Plus, y'all ain't on a date. You don't have to be near each other the whole night. Once the chick you're hollering at says "oh, I thought you two were together..." it's GOTCHA!, lol.

---
http://twitter.com/logicalhood
http://instagram.com/hoodlogic

  

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Deadzombie
Member since Aug 21st 2008
13358 posts
Mon Dec-01-14 01:35 PM

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92. "this makes sense. but is dependent on the security of the mark."
In response to Reply # 87


          

if the mark is insecure (something you can't really predict) then, it's a losing situation soon after that night.

but you're right, that night - you do have her full attention.

  

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Joe Corn Mo
Member since Aug 29th 2010
15139 posts
Mon Dec-01-14 01:41 PM

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102. "if you conceive of objects of your affection as "marks,""
In response to Reply # 92


  

          

then insecurity is your friend.
it's quite easy to pick at ppl's self esteem
and then use their insecure state to build them back up.

assuming you are playing to "win,"
there's never a disadvantage to establishing a little competition.
even after you are "together" you don't wanna lose that sense of scarcity.





>if the mark is insecure (something you can't really predict)
>then, it's a losing situation soon after that night.
>
>but you're right, that night - you do have her full
>attention.

  

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Deadzombie
Member since Aug 21st 2008
13358 posts
Mon Dec-01-14 01:52 PM

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113. "believe it or not, i not a fan of 'games'."
In response to Reply # 102


          

im way too sensitive to be taking risks with my bleeding-ass heart.

  

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Joe Corn Mo
Member since Aug 29th 2010
15139 posts
Mon Dec-01-14 01:36 PM

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94. "i am not surprised that he ain't pick up on this. "
In response to Reply # 87


  

          

like, not at all.

lol

  

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Deadzombie
Member since Aug 21st 2008
13358 posts
Mon Dec-01-14 01:39 PM

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100. "don't be surprised, i think i just handle myself (socially) better than ..."
In response to Reply # 94
Mon Dec-01-14 01:42 PM by Deadzombie

          

most.

the added person is usually a liability for me.

but yeah yeah.

pretty people, woo woo woo.

  

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scout
Charter member
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Mon Dec-01-14 01:28 PM

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78. "no, that hungry look kinda worries me"
In response to Reply # 68


  

          

hence, again, this post! i think i'mma have to let him go.

_____________________

hello, lover.

  

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Ted Gee Seal
Member since Apr 18th 2007
10084 posts
Mon Dec-01-14 01:34 PM

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88. "That's his burden, not yours"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

>more from you?
>scenario: the two of you have fantastic conversations and get
>along well but one party has made it pretty clear that they
>want your chonies and you have made it pretty clear that's not
>happening, but you still wanna hang out cause y'all have fun
>together. is that wrong or mean? is it an unintentional set
>up? should i just leave him alone?

You're both adults. He should be old enough and mature enough to understand the deal around these things. As long as you're clear about where he stands in regards to you your conscience should be likewise clear.

Just IMO though.

  

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Deadzombie
Member since Aug 21st 2008
13358 posts
Mon Dec-01-14 01:41 PM

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104. "whats the point of a clear conscience when the nigga is trying to fuck"
In response to Reply # 88


          

at every commercial break?

the idea of a clear conscience shouldn't help you sleep at night.

appropriate, well-managed relationships should be the comforting factor.

  

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Ted Gee Seal
Member since Apr 18th 2007
10084 posts
Mon Dec-01-14 01:52 PM

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114. "that's his burden, not hers"
In response to Reply # 104


  

          

>at every commercial break?
>
>the idea of a clear conscience shouldn't help you sleep at
>night.
>
>appropriate, well-managed relationships should be the
>comforting factor.

If that goes for her, it goes double for him. This isn't her responsibility. If she's let him know the terms of engagement, anything else is his free will.

Just IMO though.

  

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TheVillageIdiot
Member since Aug 02nd 2006
357 posts
Mon Dec-01-14 01:42 PM

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107. "why continue something that you know isn't genuine?"
In response to Reply # 88


          


>You're both adults. He should be old enough and mature enough
>to understand the deal around these things. As long as you're
>clear about where he stands in regards to you your conscience
>should be likewise clear.

I agree that the onus would be more on the other person. but where the other person's culpability comes into play is they are essentially using that person. whether it's consciously or subconcioiusly

The village idiot will come forth
To be acclaimed the leader

  

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Ted Gee Seal
Member since Apr 18th 2007
10084 posts
Mon Dec-01-14 01:54 PM

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115. "They're adults"
In response to Reply # 107


  

          


>
>I agree that the onus would be more on the other person. but
>where the other person's culpability comes into play is they
>are essentially using that person. whether it's consciously or
>subconcioiusly

It's just a friendship, not a co-sign on a loan.

He's a man, let him wear his big boy pants and make a decision about what he wants out of this, knowing what she wants out of it.

Just IMO though.

  

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Deadzombie
Member since Aug 21st 2008
13358 posts
Mon Dec-01-14 01:56 PM

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117. "typing "they're adults" doesn't mean anything."
In response to Reply # 115


          

plenty of maladjusted adults are running the streets.

in fact most people are maladjusted.

alternatively you could state: she's aware of what's going on, and has a responsibility to do the 'right thing'.

  

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Ted Gee Seal
Member since Apr 18th 2007
10084 posts
Mon Dec-01-14 02:52 PM

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163. "RE: typing "they're adults" doesn't mean anything."
In response to Reply # 117


  

          

>plenty of maladjusted adults are running the streets.
>
>in fact most people are maladjusted.
>
>alternatively you could state: she's aware of what's going on,
>and has a responsibility to do the 'right thing'.

If she's made her feelings clear she's done the right thing. I don't see that she needs to police his feelings with action if he's prepared to go into the situation with his eyes open.

Just IMO though.

  

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TheVillageIdiot
Member since Aug 02nd 2006
357 posts
Mon Dec-01-14 01:59 PM

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118. "you typed big boy pants. i can't take you seriously "
In response to Reply # 115


          

The village idiot will come forth
To be acclaimed the leader

  

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Ted Gee Seal
Member since Apr 18th 2007
10084 posts
Mon Dec-01-14 03:00 PM

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170. "You have a good day then."
In response to Reply # 118


  

          

>

Just IMO though.

  

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TheVillageIdiot
Member since Aug 02nd 2006
357 posts
Mon Dec-01-14 03:03 PM

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171. "i hope too. you as well. "
In response to Reply # 170


          

The village idiot will come forth
To be acclaimed the leader

  

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scout
Charter member
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Mon Dec-01-14 01:44 PM

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109. "yep, my conscience is super clear."
In response to Reply # 88
Mon Dec-01-14 01:45 PM by scout

  

          

i didn't lead him on at all. but if he can't handle a friendship with me i'll definitely respect that and move it right along.

_____________________

hello, lover.

  

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SoWhat
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Mon Dec-01-14 02:01 PM

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120. "a real friend would have more empathy for their friend."
In response to Reply # 88


  

          

i'd expect.

based on my experience i don't think either of the parties involved in the situation can be a true friend to the other.

fuck you.

  

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Deadzombie
Member since Aug 21st 2008
13358 posts
Mon Dec-01-14 02:02 PM

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121. "i can't clap loud and long enough to this."
In response to Reply # 120


          

  

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TheVillageIdiot
Member since Aug 02nd 2006
357 posts
Mon Dec-01-14 02:04 PM

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122. "agree"
In response to Reply # 120


          


>
>based on my experience i don't think either of the parties
>involved in the situation can be a true friend to the other.
>

The village idiot will come forth
To be acclaimed the leader

  

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scout
Charter member
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Mon Dec-01-14 02:04 PM

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123. "so what if i have a talk with him and he's all like 'girl! psh! im over ..."
In response to Reply # 120
Mon Dec-01-14 02:04 PM by scout

  

          

it." is it safe to proceed as friends then?

_____________________

hello, lover.

  

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Joe Corn Mo
Member since Aug 29th 2010
15139 posts
Mon Dec-01-14 02:20 PM

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126. "i had a friend that picked up on the fact that i was falling for him. "
In response to Reply # 123


  

          

he just asked me point blank if i was in love with him,
and i admitted that i was.

he said he didn't think it was healthy and he didn't like the idea
of him causing me pain, even if it wasn't his "fault."

he said he didn't feel comfortable hanging out with me, at least for a while.

after that conversation we didn't contact each other for 6 months.
but at some point i shot him an email randomly
and he responded back. then we met up to go for a run that week
and we're friends again and see each other regularly.

my romantic feelings for him have passed and i really don't think about it much.

so a little distance won't hurt,
i'd agree with that.



>it." is it safe to proceed as friends then?

  

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legsdiamond
Member since May 05th 2011
68751 posts
Mon Dec-01-14 02:25 PM

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130. "3 more outings and you will be in love again"
In response to Reply # 126


          


  

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Joe Corn Mo
Member since Aug 29th 2010
15139 posts
Mon Dec-01-14 02:29 PM

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138. "that shows how much you know. "
In response to Reply # 130


  

          

i haven't been able to fall in love w/ anybody
since my ex dumped me.

i'm in my Amy Winehouse "love is a losing game" phase right now.
i'm not due for my Marvin Gaye "i'm falling in love again" phase for
at least another year and a half.

  

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scout
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Mon Dec-01-14 02:27 PM

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133. ":)"
In response to Reply # 126


  

          

thanks for this.

_____________________

hello, lover.

  

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SoWhat
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Mon Dec-01-14 02:28 PM

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136. "yeah...distance is key."
In response to Reply # 126


  

          

homie needs time to work through and get over his interest in a romantic relationship that ain't gonna happen.

he needs to grieve and he likely needs space.

at least i've needed that when i've been where i think he is based on what i've read in the OP.

fuck you.

  

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legsdiamond
Member since May 05th 2011
68751 posts
Mon Dec-01-14 02:20 PM

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127. "he will probably be lying if he says he is over it. "
In response to Reply # 123


          

  

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SoWhat
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Mon Dec-01-14 02:22 PM

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129. "that's on you."
In response to Reply # 123
Mon Dec-01-14 02:29 PM by SoWhat

  

          

i wouldn't continue b/c i'd not trust his statement that he's over it. and unless this guy is like my bestie best friend and i have no others around i could and would live w/o his friendship.

i tried doing what i knew to be wrong a couple yrs ago after a buddy confessed his desire for romance. it was all good, i thought, until i let my guard down after a night of drinking and he made a move on me. and i entertained it b/c i was drunk and then felt awful b/c i knew better. he, of course, mistook my behavior as a green light to move our relationship to a new phase. he thought he'd been successful in convincing me we should be together. i had to let him down - again. and after that i just stopped reaching to him at all. so when a movie came out that i knew he'd like i didn't call him. i heard about a party i figured he'd dig and i didn't invite him. i saw som'n on tv that reminded me of som'n we'd talked about and i didn't text him. i pulled back b/c i knew the deal w/him.

as i said before, the way i see it continuing the 'friendship' is foolish on his part and selfish on yours. but that's based on my experience.

good luck.

fuck you.

  

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teefiveten
Member since Oct 02nd 2008
33019 posts
Mon Dec-01-14 02:25 PM

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131. "^^^^^^^^^^^"
In response to Reply # 129


  

          

.

*************************************
like.me
http://tinyurl.com/3z8486u

"if the children are not initiated into the village they will burn it down just to feel its warmth." - african proverb

  

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legsdiamond
Member since May 05th 2011
68751 posts
Mon Dec-01-14 02:27 PM

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135. "yup"
In response to Reply # 129


          

  

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scout
Charter member
44572 posts
Mon Dec-01-14 02:28 PM

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137. "*double sigh"
In response to Reply # 129


  

          

youre right.

_____________________

hello, lover.

  

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Ted Gee Seal
Member since Apr 18th 2007
10084 posts
Mon Dec-01-14 02:31 PM

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141. "I've been on both sides of scout's situation"
In response to Reply # 120


  

          

>i'd expect.
>
>based on my experience i don't think either of the parties
>involved in the situation can be a true friend to the other.
>

I disagree, and I suppose we'll just have to agree that we don't see eye to eye on this.

I've had women I liked and told them, and they were good enough to let the friendship continue, and I got to continue to hang out with someone whose company I enjoyed. To me attraction usually began after developing a friendship, I seldom approached a woman straight away. So for me, to have a friendship grow into feelings and then be completely cut off because of an empathy that I'm not asking for, that would be disappointing.

Just IMO though.

  

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SoWhat
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144. "i have too and it's not what i thought initially."
In response to Reply # 141
Mon Dec-01-14 02:44 PM by SoWhat

  

          

this guy only wants to fuck her and she doesn't want to b/c she's not attracted to him.

i don't think she's 'wrong' to continue a friendship. i do think the guy will keep coming on to her when the opportunity presents itself and if she can deal w/those unwanted advances (maybe it won't happen) and he can deal w/her rejection(s) then it's all good.

the story in the OP is a bit different but she's since clarified.

fuck you.

  

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lfresh
Member since Jun 18th 2002
92693 posts
Mon Dec-01-14 02:18 PM

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125. "agreed"
In response to Reply # 88


  

          

he also has an SO
i wouldnt be overly concerned about this dude with regards to feelings



above is usually for two single people
or the person has their heart set on you
yall cant be friends

sex?
yeah theres a possibility
unless dude just constantly walks around with his dick out
then nah

but not all dudes are like either
and not all friendships are so pat

try and just be aware

~~~~
When you are born, you cry, and the world rejoices. Live so that when you die, you rejoice, and the world cries.
~~~~
You cannot hate people for their own good.

  

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scout
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Mon Dec-01-14 02:30 PM

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140. "imma have a chat with him and see how things seem to me"
In response to Reply # 125


  

          

if i'm not convinced that he's cool with being JUST friends
i'm fading to black (c) geah

_____________________

hello, lover.

  

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Ted Gee Seal
Member since Apr 18th 2007
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Mon Dec-01-14 02:36 PM

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149. "RE: agreed"
In response to Reply # 125


  

          


>but not all dudes are like either
>and not all friendships are so pat
>
>try and just be aware

^ I think this is key.

Just IMO though.

  

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SoWhat
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Mon Dec-01-14 02:41 PM

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155. "this guy doesn't wanna love her, he wants to bone her. "
In response to Reply # 149
Mon Dec-01-14 02:45 PM by SoWhat

  

          

he's in love elsewhere.

she doesn't want to fuck him though b/c she's not attracted to him.

that changes my analysis completely.

fuck you.

  

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scout
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Mon Dec-01-14 02:50 PM

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160. "actually, he told me that he's not in love and that they are "
In response to Reply # 155


  

          

"taking a break" from one another
which could very well be a lie to see if he has a shot at my drawls but i've given him no hope of that ever happening so i dont think he would lie. he was honest enough to tell me about her in the first place, maybe he's being honest now.
but still, i highly doubt he's in love w/ me either.

_____________________

hello, lover.

  

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legsdiamond
Member since May 05th 2011
68751 posts
Mon Dec-01-14 02:53 PM

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166. "he wants the booty"
In response to Reply # 160
Mon Dec-01-14 02:54 PM by legsdiamond

          

and you know this

  

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SoWhat
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Mon Dec-01-14 02:54 PM

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167. "word up."
In response to Reply # 160


  

          

fuck you.

  

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scout
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169. "dont hold back, now. i came here for okps opinion"
In response to Reply # 167


  

          

is this nigga likely lying in wait? am i being naive?
whats your take?

_____________________

hello, lover.

  

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SoWhat
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Mon Dec-01-14 03:23 PM

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179. "yeah, he's lying in wait."
In response to Reply # 169


  

          

fuck you.

  

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TheVillageIdiot
Member since Aug 02nd 2006
357 posts
Mon Dec-01-14 03:04 PM

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172. "see you should have included all of this in the OP."
In response to Reply # 160


          

I still think you should dead it.
but it casts him in a less sympathetic light, for me at least.

The village idiot will come forth
To be acclaimed the leader

  

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scout
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Mon Dec-01-14 03:06 PM

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174. "it wasn't the point of the op"
In response to Reply # 172


  

          

_____________________

hello, lover.

  

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BabySoulRebel
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Mon Dec-01-14 03:47 PM

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185. "asking our opinion was"
In response to Reply # 174


  

          

and we were basing our opinions on the facts that were provided at the time.

I call shenanigans
you tryna pull a lightworks on us LMAO

here for dis.

  

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scout
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192. "lol, honestly i didnt see how all of that complication was relevant"
In response to Reply # 185
Mon Dec-01-14 04:21 PM by scout

  

          

he wants more
i dont

it was all of them up there ^^^ (except ted) who wanted to assign blame and not stick to the point

whether he wants romance, just sex, a threesome, or whatever is all the same to me.

_____________________

hello, lover.

  

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Cold Truth
Member since Jan 28th 2004
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Mon Dec-01-14 05:56 PM

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201. "It's completely relevant to the situation "
In response to Reply # 192


  

          

Since it’s clearly not as simple as “he wants more, I don’t”, those details are very relevant.

By omitting key details when asking for opinions, you effectively tried to shape the responses in a way that would validate your perspective as opposed to putting everything out there and eliciting the more accurate, possibly unflattering opinions that would form with more information. It’s not about “assigning blame”, it’s about forming nuanced, educated opinions instead of generic opinions that only apply in general terms.


  

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TheVillageIdiot
Member since Aug 02nd 2006
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Mon Dec-01-14 05:59 PM

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202. "i'd also say it's about accountability"
In response to Reply # 201


          


>
> It’s not
>about “assigning blame”, it’s about forming nuanced,
>educated opinions instead of generic opinions that only apply
>in general terms.
>


people have to own their actions. I submit that if you knowingly continue a faux friendship with someone that you KNOW wants more then you are selfish and you should own that.

The village idiot will come forth
To be acclaimed the leader

  

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scout
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Mon Dec-01-14 07:59 PM

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216. "it's not a faux friendship. i genuinely like his as a friend"
In response to Reply # 202


  

          

_____________________

hello, lover.

  

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scout
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215. "there is no way any of that info would have elicited accurate"
In response to Reply # 201


  

          

opinions. only speculation since not even I know precisely how he feels and i'm the one in this situation.

_____________________

hello, lover.

  

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Cold Truth
Member since Jan 28th 2004
41795 posts
Tue Dec-02-14 06:52 PM

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239. "You don't think more info=more accurate opinions? "
In response to Reply # 215


  

          

General info=general opinion
More info=more accurate opinion, at least in terms of your version of events (not implying you're lying or anything, just that this is your side of the story)

The reason being is more factors are considered when forming an opinion, thus you would receive opinions that take much more of your situation into account. Of course, as you noted, we're only talking about your side here.

A *truly* accurate opinion of the entire situation would obviously require an in depth discussion with both of you. Ted Gee got it right, but only in terms of the general rules of engagement; he still acknowledged that different circumstances would lead to different conclusions.

I think the real answer to your real question- whether or not it's wrong to force friendship upon this particular guy- is best obtained via your friend himself. You should ask him how he feels. Personally I think the best overall course for YOU is to place him at arms length, because I do believe there is some selfishness at play and these situations have a way of getting more complicated than intended.

  

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Cold Truth
Member since Jan 28th 2004
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Mon Dec-01-14 02:45 PM

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158. "Not always. "
In response to Reply # 88


  

          

It always baffles me how people assign sole responsibility in these situations to one party. Some people purposely keep that unrequited love around like a groupie, just someone there to validate and lean on. I’ve seen- and, unfortunately, played both parts this play in my day- many occasions where the object of affection gives just enough hope to string along the unrequited party indefinitely. Very few people are open, honest and consistently clear in their boundaries that these situations don’t wind up with both sides contributing to the eventual mess. Often enough, one person won’t give up the ghost while the other strives to keep the ball in play just enough to soak up some adoration and validation.

I have a hard time seeing any

of them as victims, but I have equal difficulty viewing either as an innocent party. In a situation where one person is crystal clear, doesn’t court added affection, doesn’t throw out mixed signals, doesn’t try to do cute shit like cuddle or sleep in the same bed or whatever, and the other keeps putting in that bid? I agree completely. The simple fact though is that plenty of people play the game and pull an awe shux, WHO ME? when their card is pulled.

  

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Ted Gee Seal
Member since Apr 18th 2007
10084 posts
Mon Dec-01-14 02:57 PM

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168. "RE: Not always. "
In response to Reply # 158


  

          

>It always baffles me how people assign sole responsibility in
>these situations to one party. Some people purposely keep that
>unrequited love around like a groupie, just someone there to
>validate and lean on.

If someone leads someone else on, I agree. But if scout has made it clear that friendship is all that's on the cards, then I think that's enough.

I’ve seen- and, unfortunately, played
>both parts this play in my day- many occasions where the
>object of affection gives just enough hope to string along the
>unrequited party indefinitely.

I wouldn't clap to that either.

Very few people are open,
>honest and consistently clear in their boundaries that these
>situations don’t wind up with both sides contributing to the
>eventual mess.

That's true, and is a big disclaimer to what I'm talking about here.

>Often enough, one person won’t give up the
>ghost while the other strives to keep the ball in play just
>enough to soak up some adoration and validation.



>
>I have a hard time seeing any
>
>of them as victims, but I have equal difficulty viewing either
>as an innocent party. In a situation where one person is
>crystal clear, doesn’t court added affection, doesn’t
>throw out mixed signals, doesn’t try to do cute shit like
>cuddle or sleep in the same bed or whatever, and the other
>keeps putting in that bid? I agree completely. The simple fact
>though is that plenty of people play the game and pull an awe
>shux, WHO ME? when their card is pulled.
>

It's not cut and dried depending on the situation, that's for sure.

Just IMO though.

  

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veritas
Member since Sep 16th 2002
37200 posts
Mon Dec-01-14 01:42 PM

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105. "Women made such swell friends."
In response to Reply # 0


          

Awfully swell. In the first place, you had to be in love with a woman to have a basis of friendship. I had been having Brett for a friend. I had not been thinking about her side of it. I had been getting something for nothing. That only delayed the presentation of the bill. The bill always came. That was one of the swell things you could count on.

I thought I had paid for everything. Not like the woman pays and pays and pays. No idea of retribution or punishment. Just exchange of values.

i still blame hip-hop.

  

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cgonz00cc
Member since Aug 01st 2002
32554 posts
Mon Dec-01-14 02:41 PM

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154. "...said the man with the broken dong"
In response to Reply # 105


  

          

  

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veritas
Member since Sep 16th 2002
37200 posts
Mon Dec-01-14 06:31 PM

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205. "you're the only one here who ever read a book i see"
In response to Reply # 154


          

i still blame hip-hop.

  

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cgonz00cc
Member since Aug 01st 2002
32554 posts
Sun Dec-07-14 01:32 PM

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240. "i couldnt leave you hanging after a reference like that"
In response to Reply # 205


  

          

  

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isaaaa
Member since May 10th 2007
30565 posts
Mon Dec-01-14 02:27 PM

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134. "Chick friends are cool."
In response to Reply # 0


          


Anti-gentrification, cheap alcohol & trying to look pretty in our twilight posting years (c) Big Reg


Get 25% off www.karmaloop.com w/ rep code JR9103 |
Nike, G-Star, Herschel, Adidas (Men's & Women's clothing)

  

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abby
Member since Oct 19th 2004
65215 posts
Mon Dec-01-14 02:33 PM

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143. "If women cut off every male friend who showed interest in us, we'd"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

have no male friends

As long as you've 1) been upfront, 2) not been/aren't leading him on and 3) do not manipulate his feelings, you are good.

Set boundaries and abide by them

_______________________________________

"I'm gonna treat OKP better during the 2nd half of the year. So, expect new things and better dialog."
~Case_One

  

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SoWhat
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Mon Dec-01-14 02:36 PM

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150. "and?"
In response to Reply # 143


  

          

LOL

i haven't maintained close ties w/dudes who've shown romantic interest where i wasn't interested. and i don't suffer from a lack of friends.

fuck you.

  

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Cold Truth
Member since Jan 28th 2004
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Mon Dec-01-14 02:51 PM

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161. "Women are generally delusional about this. "
In response to Reply # 143
Mon Dec-01-14 02:51 PM by Cold Truth

  

          

Most women have less actual suitors than they think they do. The percentage of guys who actually want anything more than a Saturday night special is likewise smaller than you think.

Wanting pussy, wanting YOU (not you as in Abby, just you in general) for YOUR pussy, and wanting YOU for YOU are three very different distinctions it doesn’t seem most women differentiate all that well.

  

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scout
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Mon Dec-01-14 03:11 PM

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175. "that's what i'm saying, lol. sowhat has no problem having both"
In response to Reply # 143


  

          

genders as friends cause the women already know aint no shot.

_____________________

hello, lover.

  

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teefiveten
Member since Oct 02nd 2008
33019 posts
Mon Dec-01-14 03:16 PM

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176. "not every dude wants to be romantical"
In response to Reply # 175
Mon Dec-01-14 03:17 PM by teefiveten

  

          

i mean yeah we can argue that every dude wants to bang but i believe the original premise was pursuing a friendship with someone who wants "more". more meaning a relationship or an attempt at one, not necessarily just a bang. i think w/ replies it was revealed that he just wants a bang which honestly would make me even less inclined to remain friends but if dude just likes you and wants to try dating you it should be deaded as well for the sake of his feelings, especially if you consider him a friend. at the very least, some distance until he can accept it or get over you.

i have many guy friends. i meet new guys all the time b/c of the dj thing. none of these guys have come at me wanting any more than a friendship. maybe if the window was open for sex they'd come out of the woodwork but right now they have never tried anything or indicated that they wanted more. i really don't think it's that hard to find. and this is coming from someone who can't find a date. lol.

*************************************
like.me
http://tinyurl.com/3z8486u

"if the children are not initiated into the village they will burn it down just to feel its warmth." - african proverb

  

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abby
Member since Oct 19th 2004
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Mon Dec-01-14 03:38 PM

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181. "Not all guys want a relationship, but most straight guys will try you up..."
In response to Reply # 176


  

          

for sex

That's all I was saying

_______________________________________

"I'm gonna treat OKP better during the 2nd half of the year. So, expect new things and better dialog."
~Case_One

  

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scout
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Mon Dec-01-14 03:41 PM

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182. "my GUESS is he just wants 'a bang'"
In response to Reply # 176


  

          

i never entertain a pass long enough to know otherwise.

>i mean yeah we can argue that every dude wants to bang but i
>believe the original premise was pursuing a friendship with
>someone who wants "more". more meaning a relationship or an
>attempt at one, not necessarily just a bang. i think w/
>replies it was revealed that he just wants a bang which
>honestly would make me even less inclined to remain friends
>but if dude just likes you and wants to try dating you it
>should be deaded as well for the sake of his feelings,
>especially if you consider him a friend. at the very least,
>some distance until he can accept it or get over you.
>
>i have many guy friends. i meet new guys all the time b/c of
>the dj thing. none of these guys have come at me wanting any
>more than a friendship. maybe if the window was open for sex
>they'd come out of the woodwork but right now they have never
>tried anything or indicated that they wanted more. i really
>don't think it's that hard to find. and this is coming from
>someone who can't find a date. lol.
>

_____________________

hello, lover.

  

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abby
Member since Oct 19th 2004
65215 posts
Mon Dec-01-14 03:17 PM

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178. "I be trying, tho. I hit him up every quarter just to see if he still gay..."
In response to Reply # 175


  

          

soon as he tell me "no"

I'M IN!

_______________________________________

"I'm gonna treat OKP better during the 2nd half of the year. So, expect new things and better dialog."
~Case_One

  

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scout
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Mon Dec-01-14 03:42 PM

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183. "lol"
In response to Reply # 178


  

          

_____________________

hello, lover.

  

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BabySoulRebel
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Mon Dec-01-14 03:49 PM

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186. "I see you, lfresh and I are gonna have a fight to the death huh?"
In response to Reply # 178


  

          

here for dis.

  

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abby
Member since Oct 19th 2004
65215 posts
Mon Dec-01-14 03:56 PM

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187. "I mean...we might have to scrap it out"
In response to Reply # 186


  

          

what Iyanla say..."you let a penis ruin ya friendship...A PENIS!" lol

_______________________________________

"I'm gonna treat OKP better during the 2nd half of the year. So, expect new things and better dialog."
~Case_One

  

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BabySoulRebel
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Mon Dec-01-14 03:59 PM

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189. "see I'm poly so I know how to share"
In response to Reply # 187


  

          

y'all two monogamous folks on the other hand...
I'm sure we can work out a visitation schedule.

here for dis.

  

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abby
Member since Oct 19th 2004
65215 posts
Mon Dec-01-14 04:07 PM

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190. "yeah, naw. When he mine, he MINEZ."
In response to Reply # 189


  

          

.

_______________________________________

"I'm gonna treat OKP better during the 2nd half of the year. So, expect new things and better dialog."
~Case_One

  

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lfresh
Member since Jun 18th 2002
92693 posts
Tue Dec-02-14 01:41 PM

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229. "lol!"
In response to Reply # 186


  

          


~~~~
When you are born, you cry, and the world rejoices. Live so that when you die, you rejoice, and the world cries.
~~~~
You cannot hate people for their own good.

  

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SoWhat
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154163 posts
Mon Dec-01-14 03:25 PM

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180. "yes but i'm not close to any gay dudes who want the goodies"
In response to Reply # 175


  

          

where i'm not interested in sharing my goodies w/them.

i've been there in the past and that situation is too messy for my taste now. but i only know that b/c i've been through it and i learned the hard way. LOL

fuck you.

  

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scout
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Mon Dec-01-14 03:44 PM

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184. "so even if you made your goodies available none of your friends"
In response to Reply # 180


  

          

would bite? i think most hetero men would fuck their female friends if given the opportunity, that's why i'm downplaying this a bit. thats probably why i need to have a chat with dude to be sure we're on the same page

_____________________

hello, lover.

  

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SoWhat
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Mon Dec-01-14 03:58 PM

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188. "no. none of them who are my friends would bite."
In response to Reply # 184


  

          

just like i wouldn't bite if any of them offered. b/c...no.

fuck you.

  

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scout
Charter member
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Mon Dec-01-14 04:22 PM

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193. "lol @ because no"
In response to Reply # 188


  

          

_____________________

hello, lover.

  

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Cold Truth
Member since Jan 28th 2004
41795 posts
Mon Dec-01-14 02:33 PM

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145. "Wrong? No. Self-sabotage? Absolutely. It’s just a terrible idea. "
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

Yes, it could work out or whatever.

My guess is the odds don’t really favor a happy, healthy friendship though. This is the sort of thing that ends with one person soaking up the attention and adoration of the other while the other slowly grows resentful, leading to some sort of fallout.

There are obvious shades of gray to be had, but it’s just not the greatest idea. It’s probably best to limit that relationship to a degree that won’t fuel the fire, so to speak.

  

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legsdiamond
Member since May 05th 2011
68751 posts
Mon Dec-01-14 02:52 PM

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162. "the original OP sounds like she wanted to force a friendship..."
In response to Reply # 145


          

and that's a bad idea IMO.

on further review it sounds like the homie just wants to smash. Now, if she is OK with him throwing out little smash crumbs every so often then cool... but if she is one to get offended or discouraged when he does it then why try to force it?



  

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Fishgrease
Member since Feb 13th 2006
34437 posts
Mon Dec-01-14 04:25 PM

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194. "he's going to go in it thinkin' he'll eventually wear you down or grow o..."
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

---------------------------------------
blog: www.wonderfullyhorrible.blogspot.com
instagram: Fishgrease
twitter: wooly_caesar
Podcast www.soundcloud.com/circlegang

  

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scout
Charter member
44572 posts
Mon Dec-01-14 04:29 PM

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196. "stranger things have happened. "
In response to Reply # 194


  

          

_____________________

hello, lover.

  

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legsdiamond
Member since May 05th 2011
68751 posts
Mon Dec-01-14 06:09 PM

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203. "maybe I read this wrong but it sounds like you are playing a lil game"
In response to Reply # 196


          

  

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scout
Charter member
44572 posts
Mon Dec-01-14 07:51 PM

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209. "i'm bullshitting. i already know what i'mma do. he stands no"
In response to Reply # 203


  

          

chance at romance even if he got fine tomorrow.
but i'mma have that chat with him tho and i'll try to remember to let yall know how it goes lol

_____________________

hello, lover.

  

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SoWhat
Charter member
154163 posts
Mon Dec-01-14 08:04 PM

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217. "*daps*"
In response to Reply # 209


  

          

just don't invite dude over for a cuddle session. lol

fuck you.

  

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scout
Charter member
44572 posts
Tue Dec-02-14 05:10 PM

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236. "RE: *daps*"
In response to Reply # 217


  

          

hahaha! no worries there.

_____________________

hello, lover.

  

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SoWhat
Charter member
154163 posts
Mon Dec-01-14 06:42 PM

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206. "girl, bye."
In response to Reply # 196


  

          

that's mess.

fuck you.

  

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Starks dunked on Bulls
Member since Dec 07th 2011
12028 posts
Mon Dec-01-14 04:26 PM

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195. "Why don't you switch roles?"
In response to Reply # 0
Mon Dec-01-14 04:26 PM by Starks dunked on Bul

  

          

Think about it, how would you feel?

  

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scout
Charter member
44572 posts
Mon Dec-01-14 04:30 PM

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197. "ive been there. i survived and i wanted that friendship because he"
In response to Reply # 195


  

          

would have been a good friend to have
but alas, he didnt think us being friends was a good idea
so he's just an associate now

_____________________

hello, lover.

  

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SeV
Charter member
50081 posts
Mon Dec-01-14 05:42 PM

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199. "so basically u want to be friends with his representative"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

cause dude is giving u his A game with hopes of getting the drawls


if u cool with dangling the pussy in order to have someone to pillow talk with when u lonely than that's on u



but im banned tho.
____________

Dallas Cavericks LETS GO!!

  

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scout
Charter member
44572 posts
Mon Dec-01-14 07:54 PM

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212. "i like to think i'm a good judge of character. if this is his A game"
In response to Reply # 199


  

          

i feel extremely sorry for him. but not sorry enough to offer up my cooch.

_____________________

hello, lover.

  

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Roadblock
Charter member
7740 posts
Mon Dec-01-14 06:29 PM

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204. "dude gotta be mature"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

to entertain this.

@GetoutTheroom
http://getouttheroom.podomatic.com
******************************************
https://twitter.com/Jayric

  

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Deadzombie
Member since Aug 21st 2008
13358 posts
Mon Dec-01-14 06:49 PM

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207. "I'd wager he's a fool. or already has a plate-full of pussy, or both. "
In response to Reply # 204


          

  

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Deadzombie
Member since Aug 21st 2008
13358 posts
Mon Dec-01-14 06:50 PM

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208. "do you change clothes around him? do you mind if he notices a nipple?"
In response to Reply # 0


          

  

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scout
Charter member
44572 posts
Mon Dec-01-14 07:53 PM

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210. "0_o the hell? the f*ck? maaaan, c'mon now. quit playing"
In response to Reply # 208


  

          

_____________________

hello, lover.

  

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Deadzombie
Member since Aug 21st 2008
13358 posts
Mon Dec-01-14 07:57 PM

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214. "it happens. "
In response to Reply # 210


          

and so help me out.

when that does happen, what should the guy be thinking?

  

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ndibs
Member since Aug 06th 2012
12715 posts
Mon Dec-01-14 07:54 PM

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211. "nope. i have a guy friend like that..."
In response to Reply # 0


          

he comes over and helps me around the house and we talk and enjoy each other's company. As long as you're pretty clear and you both like each other enough to just hang out then i think it's all right. Plus, I need someone to help me put up thermal curtains and shelving and girls aren't good at that stuff.

  

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scout
Charter member
44572 posts
Mon Dec-01-14 07:56 PM

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213. "i mean, that's not so bad, right?"
In response to Reply # 211


  

          

i need these christmas lights put up and shit but i'mma take him to dinner afterwards as a thank you, lol

_____________________

hello, lover.

  

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Roadblock
Charter member
7740 posts
Mon Dec-01-14 08:07 PM

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218. "smh homie gonna be feeling like this at dinner"
In response to Reply # 213


  

          

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wbUpGoOjFWw

@GetoutTheroom
http://getouttheroom.podomatic.com
******************************************
https://twitter.com/Jayric

  

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Deadzombie
Member since Aug 21st 2008
13358 posts
Mon Dec-01-14 08:08 PM

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219. "dinner with you is torture. you ain't shit. "
In response to Reply # 213


          

  

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Ted Gee Seal
Member since Apr 18th 2007
10084 posts
Mon Dec-01-14 09:12 PM

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220. "I dunno, given how he's pining after her, she might be the shit"
In response to Reply # 219


  

          

>

Just IMO though.

  

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Brotha Sun
Member since Dec 31st 2009
6351 posts
Mon Dec-01-14 09:44 PM

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222. "He's being taken advantage of. She's bored. Its common. Its life."
In response to Reply # 220


          

People manipulate each other everyday b. Iono why people go straight into defense mode whenever they get called out on it. Theyre not alone in their tub of filth. Most of us are splashing in it as well. *shrug*

"He wants more."

BUT I LIKE HIS FRIENDSHIP

"This wont end well"

BUT I...

"He'll eventually express his dissatisfaction"

BUT I

I

I

I

All about the I. You woulda thought she was a rastafarian.


Nothing wrong with a little selfishness, but the lack of honesty is just :/

"They used to call me Baby Luke....but now? The whole damn 2 Liiiive Crew."

  

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legsdiamond
Member since May 05th 2011
68751 posts
Tue Dec-02-14 10:23 AM

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225. "u stupid... but also 100% correct"
In response to Reply # 222


          

  

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TheVillageIdiot
Member since Aug 02nd 2006
357 posts
Tue Dec-02-14 11:10 AM

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228. "this"
In response to Reply # 222


          


>
>
>Nothing wrong with a little selfishness, but the lack of
>honesty is just :/

The village idiot will come forth
To be acclaimed the leader

  

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scout
Charter member
44572 posts
Tue Dec-02-14 05:08 PM

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235. "nope. there is mutual benefit. mono y mono"
In response to Reply # 222


  

          

you'd rather EYE be the one to get taken advantage of i see

_____________________

hello, lover.

  

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scout
Charter member
44572 posts
Tue Dec-02-14 05:06 PM

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234. "lol"
In response to Reply # 219


  

          

_____________________

hello, lover.

  

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godleeluv
Member since Jun 11th 2013
5779 posts
Mon Dec-01-14 09:24 PM

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221. "nope, because men want to screw everyone anyway"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

Train him to stay in his place and don't be mad when he moves on to the next crush once he realizes no matter how hard he tries he can't conquer you. That's what it is all about.


♥♥Church Diva♥♥

  

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ndibs
Member since Aug 06th 2012
12715 posts
Tue Dec-02-14 02:11 PM

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232. "exactly. you may as well ask if it's okay to have male friends..."
In response to Reply # 221


          

guys dno't make friends with women they wouldn't mind sleeping with unless they're gay.

  

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DeepAztheRoot
Member since Dec 19th 2003
13992 posts
Sun Dec-07-14 01:47 PM

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241. "this is wrong and not true"
In response to Reply # 232


  

          

but carry on

<-Fear Ameer

  

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Nick Has a Problem...Seriously
Member since Dec 25th 2010
16391 posts
Mon Dec-01-14 10:00 PM

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223. "No man wants to be just friends with you "
In response to Reply # 0
Mon Dec-01-14 10:09 PM by Nick Has a Problem..

  

          

Unless you're unattractive. That's just how it is. Better to end it now instead of it leading to future frustration.

Another thing. As long as you're paying your own way when y'all hang out you're not in the wrong. I've seen situations where the woman is on that we're just friends tip but got the dude paying her way when they hang out. Dudes ain't paying their male friends way when they hang out so they shouldn't be paying the female friends way either.

****************************************
Falcons, Braves, Bulldogs and Hawks

"Dude just seems like he's been chosen for some reason. Maybe he did a backspin for Oprah or something." micMajestic

http://www.discogs.com/user/buhloone

  

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Goldmind
Member since Oct 28th 2004
27522 posts
Tue Dec-02-14 11:05 AM

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226. "Stop speaking for all men"
In response to Reply # 223


          

Thanks

  

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Nick Has a Problem...Seriously
Member since Dec 25th 2010
16391 posts
Tue Dec-02-14 11:06 AM

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227. "No"
In response to Reply # 226


  

          

****************************************
Falcons, Braves, Bulldogs and Hawks

"Dude just seems like he's been chosen for some reason. Maybe he did a backspin for Oprah or something." micMajestic

http://www.discogs.com/user/buhloone

  

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BrawtaLives
Member since Mar 07th 2008
398 posts
Tue Dec-02-14 10:06 AM

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224. "RE: is it wrong to try to force a friendship w/ someone you know wants"
In response to Reply # 0


          

YES...no explanation needed.

fyi- wrong and very selfish.

  

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scout
Charter member
44572 posts
Tue Dec-02-14 05:05 PM

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233. "and what he wants aint wrong and very selfish?"
In response to Reply # 224


  

          

man, please. he can always choose to not continue our friendship. I'm offering friendship and that's it. he can take it or leave it.

_____________________

hello, lover.

  

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ambient1
Member since May 23rd 2007
41077 posts
Tue Dec-02-14 01:46 PM

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230. "hits kinda close to home....wish i had advice"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

normally i say let grown folx be grown and as long as u been honest then u covered

unfortunately that's too much like right and doesn't work on everybody


but yeah....i got nothing but to say that i can relate

=======================================
Coolin...

  

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initiationofplato
Member since Nov 06th 2013
2420 posts
Tue Dec-02-14 01:48 PM

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231. "Not if you make it abundantly clear that it's not going to happen."
In response to Reply # 0


          

  

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scout
Charter member
44572 posts
Tue Dec-02-14 05:12 PM

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237. "right. no mixed signals whatsoever, capt. i'm fair and kind"
In response to Reply # 231


  

          

_____________________

hello, lover.

  

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Zion3Lion
Member since Dec 23rd 2002
16767 posts
Tue Dec-02-14 05:28 PM

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238. "Yes. "
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

  

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