I think it takes a certain level of maturity, self-awareness and never looking back

- some people just went on with their lives and left me to go on with mine
- some awkward conversations ended with me saying "I dont hate you" and shit was just cordial from there if we crossed paths
- in the last instance, a woman apologized if she hurt me (in actuality she didnt) and said her memories of our brief time are nothing but positive

I think in extreme cases, it helps to know a person is remorseful for any harm done. But by the same token you have to keep it moving if they dont have that in them

most of my exes Im still cordial with so closure is not necessarily possible
one ex did call me after her divorce last year and admit I was right about her being a narcissist...i guess that counts lol

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Navem nu, cuando sol
Tutu nu, vondo nos nu
Vita em, no continous non
Nos nu ekta nos sepe ta, amen

When the sun shades the ship
We sweat and life is not safe
To swim or to touch not
When we unite we hedge amen

I mean.... shit happened. Nothing will make it "unhappen". Work through it, process it, and keep it moving.

For example. One of my best friends was murdered a long time ago. Locking somebody up for it doesn't give me closure. My homie is still gone. Nothing about the situation changed.

I always took closure as something people say that doesn't really mean anything. I don't mean that to be insensitive. I have deal with my share of grief and trauma. I have a therapist. I get that you heave to work through things. It just seems like a bullshit concept to me.

I think it could help if both people are willing to acknowledge what went wrong and that there are no hard feelings

I'm on good terms with the only ex I had a real long term relationship with. We live 1000 miles apart, so we rarely speak, but when we do it's all good.

Whatever it is in your head that you think you want the other person to do, say, or feel, rarely if ever happens like you would want it to. There is not going to be that fairy tale, storybook feeling or sense of closing a chapter you have in your head and heart. Even if you DO hear what you want, what then? That damage is done, no changing that or easing that pain much, if at all.

I do get the idea of closure and why some want it. But at the end of the day you still have to move on with your life regardless. Searching for closure puts some of that onus of you moving on in someone else's hands, and it's not worth it

<-- Dave Thomas knows what's up...
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Jay: Look here homie, any nigga can get a hit record. This here is about respect.
Game: Like Gladys Knight.
Jay: Aretha Franklin.
Game: Word, I like her too.
Jay: Nigga...

l think it’s something the bad guy ask for. like. the person that did the harm. since I’ve never been that person, closure was never necessary.

i don't need to know why it rained...
i just need to know that it does and move accordingly

=======================================
Coolin...

I tried to wrap my head around the concept at one point in time, but now I feel as if it's not for me, and NEVER was for me.

I could have done this. You could have done that.

I shouldn't have been selfish. But I was. And you were selfish too in some ways if we're being honest about it.

And now we are here, and honestly I don't want to be with you anymore. But I don't hate you. And I don't want you to hate me.

It's a way for people to end things... whatever it is... on their own terms. That isn't how life works because sometimes shit just ends.

i.e. I randomly bumped into an ex in public years ago (a few years removed from our dissolution), neither of us were exactly in a rush and we talked for 45 minutes about everything

But the idea that you 'need' it, or 'deserve' it, is the thing that I think people need to let go of.

We hooked up the night before I moved away
he said, “trinity, one day I hope you find it in my heart to forgive me”
I remember how he placed his hand over his heart
yet, I told him that I’ll always resent him for wasting my time...

once you loved someone there’s no going back to being friends...

closure comes in many forms. In my case he wanted to still be friends

someone might want to know what they did to be treated so bad
some...to apologize for treating you like shit

I don't need to now why someone thought it was cool to screw me over or harm me. Once it is done, it's done. And I choose how to carry it going forward.

No need for the 5 Whys! Shit just is what it is.

Now, BE GONE!

..this notion of needing closure and/or forgiving people who've wronged you is crazy to me. I've never understood it..

Is it unhealthy to be constantly wishing exes ill and praying on their downfall 24/7 years after?..i think so..

But it's perfectly healthy in my opinion to not forgive someone and not hold them in high regard and not wish them all the best. For me...I just cut them off totally...
Once i'm sleeping at night and functioning and growing...i cld care less about them, closure or forgiveness
I focus more on wtf I was thinking and what level of self worth I had at the time to have someone like that in my life..

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cscpov.blogspot.com

"There's a fine line between persistence and foolishness..."
-unknown

"To Each His Reach"

they can't move forward without closure, and it's usually because they feel entitled to either speak whatever is bothering them OR they want an explanation on why things happened and can't accept that some things you will just never know. If it's closed, then let it be closed. If it's over, let it be over. but some ppl press it and their lives depend on it.

but i can't tell people what to do, if they want to get closure then fine but I guarantee it to most of the people seeing closure that the other person is doing fine and moving on without you.

AND... many many times... you won't feel any better.

But as stated earlier it shouldn’t be a requirement to moving forward with Your lofe
... "A Beautiful Struggle"
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MELa
Musically.Entertaining.Lyrically.Alluring.