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Like you end up "missing" someone or thinking fondly of them, based solely on thee fact that you don't have to deal with them consistently. And I do it a lot. Particularly being in DC now, everyone is far, few of my life norms are the same, I "miss" a lot of things that I don't really miss.
And as I get older and deeper into my marriage, I see some positive characteristics in my wife, that remind me of others and I get to wondering "why didn't that work out"? Which is typically a pretty easy question to answer, but I'm a #man and #men don't evaluate their feelings, a #man shames himself from having feelings in the first place.
And for YEARS now, I've always looked at a certain someone with irrational fondness. We didn't fully date for long near a decade ago for purposeful reasons, physically I'm not all the attracted to her and that's not gotten better, the sex was whack, her personality is ehhh, and despite ALL of that and more, there's still that occasional twinge that says "what if". That twinge is trash, but it's part of human existence that I accept as an irrationality.
Then the other day on the social medias she shared a link from Alex Jones' site, and yeah.
------ “There is no fate that cannot be surmounted by scorn.” -Albert Camus
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