"OKDads: Paternity Leave. did you take time off? how much?"
this post is inspired by me being back at work today after a week off, and i don't wanna be here at all. i'm tired and i miss being with my family already.
2. "yeah, #2. and wow at 1 or 2 months. that's awesome." In response to Reply # 1
i'm the only one of me at my site, so i wasn't able to be gone that long, unfortunately. only took a week. fortunately, spring break is coming up pretty soon and i'll have another week then, but that's not until early April.
legsdiamond Member since May 05th 2011 80026 posts
Tue Feb-23-16 09:29 AM
5. "2 months? you work for the govt or a company in Norway" In response to Reply # 1
fuck you bruh...lol
**************** TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*
legsdiamond Member since May 05th 2011 80026 posts
Tue Feb-23-16 11:13 AM
25. "doesn't matter, the fact that you had all that time " In response to Reply # 19
makes me envious...
congrats...
and fuck you!!! j/k
**************** TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*
11. "thats awesome. my time off policy is a little less structured." In response to Reply # 9 Tue Feb-23-16 09:50 AM by KiloMcG
if i ask for a day or 2 off i usually get it without having to actually dip into any leave reserve. and, like i said in the reply above to fluidj, i'm the only one of me here so it'd be hard to be gone that long. but i sure wish i was.
10. "RE: OKDads: Paternity Leave. did you take time off? how much?" In response to Reply # 0 Tue Feb-23-16 09:51 AM by JustMe
3 weeks. It was dope though. My wife had six months!! 3 of those without pay. I took my three weeks after her six months were up. A week into my paternity leave my daughter already had a stronger pull towards me. Wifey was sooo jealous ...in a playful sorta way.
> i'm tired and i miss being with my family already.
I hear you I felt the same way. I felt it the most when my wife went back to work though. It was a great feeling to get home from work and have her and my daughter waiting for me. When she returned it was so difficult for her. It broke my heart.
23. "RE: yo I LOVED coming home to the two of them....wish we could afford " In response to Reply # 18
>to be a one job household...coming home to a stay at home >wife make you feel like a KING lol > Word! That's exactly what it feels like! lol I picked the wrong damn career.
12. "One week off, then a series of half days, telework days...etc." In response to Reply # 0
I had the a benefit of a liberal supervisor, and living five minutes from work at the time, so I was able to parlay every second of time I could scrounge up after that first week off.
I turned my 2 weeks of vacation time into 4 weeks of half days off, and I would come in mad early, so I could be off by 11 am. So basically, the four hours I worked everyday happened to be mostly time baby and Mom were asleep.
28. "cook, clean, pick movies, make runs to store, go to the post office" In response to Reply # 20 Tue Feb-23-16 11:27 AM by tomjohn29
massages allow her to take a nap unconcerned drive to appointments 24 hour moral support nap taker make memories with my new family give her a break to allow her to do what she wants to do make sure the kid know you change diapers be an emotional shoulder tell people no when she doesnt have the energy be a god damn father in the formative days of my kids life probably forgetting somethings
______________________________________
Navem nu, cuando sol Tutu nu, vondo nos nu Vita em, no continous non Nos nu ekta nos sepe ta, amen
When the sun shades the ship We sweat and life is not safe To swim or to touch not When we unite we hedge amen
**************** TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*
21. "I forgot to mention - my company lets either the mom or dad " In response to Reply # 0 Tue Feb-23-16 10:34 AM by soulfunk
take the full parental leave time off of 3 months. You just declare who is the primary caregiver and that person gets the full time. The secondary caregiver gets 3 weeks unless you also use PTO like I did.
In my case, both my wife and I work for the same company so I was listed as secondary and took the shorter time off. But I know some men who took the full time off while their wives also took full time off because they worked for separate companies, and there isn't really a rule against that.
Is that something that other companies also do or is it a separate maternal and paternal leave?
legsdiamond Member since May 05th 2011 80026 posts
Tue Feb-23-16 11:19 AM
26. "my wife hasn't gone back full time yet..." In response to Reply # 0
it's been 5 months and she works part time in the evenings.
It's rough financially but I can't see putting my baby in daycare right now.
If she gets this full time gig at the university we will have to make a tough decision.
neither of us want our baby in day care until she goes to preschool.
**************** TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*
legsdiamond Member since May 05th 2011 80026 posts
Tue Feb-23-16 03:10 PM
41. "5 months as well.. i hate leaving them to go to work" In response to Reply # 27
**************** TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*
34. "that would be great. it'd be tough to be gone that long, but it'd" In response to Reply # 33
be great. shit, i think my wife is only taking 8-9 weeks otherwise she'd be on leave without pay and we aint really at a place where that would be ok more than a week or so.
43. "3 Months Unpaid - Second time will be this summer" In response to Reply # 0
FMLA Act meant they had to keep my position available. Everyone at work was super-supportive about it too. I have a daughter arriving next month (high-five) so after my wife's three months run out I'll take my three. Part of the time was used (and will be again) for a road-trip to see family in Indiana and Ohio. (We're in Florida)
44. "10 months." In response to Reply # 0 Tue Feb-23-16 08:14 PM by denny
In Canada....parents are given a full year mat leave and are allowed to divvy that up between each other as they see fit.
My bio-daughter's mom took the full 12 months. I then requested (unofficially) to my boss to be part of the incoming layoffs at the UPS warehouse I was working at. So as soon as her mat leave was finished....I got laid off and collected unemployment insurance (65% of my wages) for a full 10 months. 65% of my wages plus the money saved on babysitting came close to 85% of what I was making in the first place. So it was almost a wash financially. And my daughter was with her bio-parents full-time until she was 22 months old.
Best decision I ever made. Being a full-time father for 10 months with a one year old taught me soooooo much about parenthood. At the time I was pretty young (21) and had no experience with babysitting or child-rearing. I'm convinced that I wouldn't be as good a father to my daughter or my step-kids without doing that. Even if the finances don't work the way they did for me....I'd advise any new parent to sacrifice some income in order to do something like this.
The other thing that made this decision so good was that my daughter's mom abandoned us when she turned 2. I can't imagine how I could have been a working, full-time father with no support if I hadn't had that 10 months to focus exclusively on child-rearing.
I've heard the stories of people getting the year off and I'm all for it and anything to spend more time with the kids is a plus to me.
But on the work side...I can't wrap my head around how it works. Do these companies hire temps to fill the spot? And even so, it just seems unproductive to potentially operate with temps for certain positions especially when a company could constantly be doing that. And on my end...I wouldn't even want to go back to work after 10-12 months. I would feel so out of the loop. There's so many changes that could occur at a place of business in that time span that it would seem odd to me. I know the American in me makes me feel uncomfortable for missing 1 day of work due to having to catch up and I realize that's crazy and partially my fault for feeling that way but 10-12 months is just crazy to me.
46. "It's the same in almost every rich country." In response to Reply # 45 Tue Feb-23-16 08:42 PM by denny
Australia....Europe....Canada....
It is perfectly possible. It's a drop in the bucket when it comes to how much it costs in the grand scheme of things. No offence...but I think you're right when you say it's the American mindset that's in the way here. You guys have been convinced that these things are unfeasible....even when surrounded by evidence that they are. As far as getting back to work...obviously you get trained on anything you've missed.
If companies are caught trying to avoid this stuff (laying off a women after she gets married for fear she'll then take mat leave) they get punished severely. All of the right-wing talking points that would say mandatory mat leave is impossible are bullshit.
49. "RE: It's the same in almost every rich country." In response to Reply # 46
I'm not saying that I don't know how it works finacially. I know it's possible.
I'm just talking more of a professional level of what ones job responsibilities are. It seems as though it makes a case for any employee being replaceable and not that important when it's not a big deal for one to be out that length of time.
52. "I think many of us fear this truth:" In response to Reply # 49
>It seems as though it makes a case for >any employee being replaceable and not that important when >it's not a big deal for one to be out that length of time.
^ I suspect this fear causes too many of us to avoid time off from work. And we do ourselves a disservice. Bc that shit IS true - most (all?) of us ARE replaceable at work.
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...in a playful sorta way.
