There's enough of us al-damn-ready. U want kids? There's plenty of war orphans in Rwanda, Kosovo, Ivory coast... Homeless children number in the millions in some countries. Adopt. We don't need more plastic diapers in our dumps, more crowded classrooms. We could use some caring parents for kids who might otherwise be prostitutes before they turn 14.
We have so many teenagers having unwanted children. Adopt one. You ain't need to plant a tree when you live in the damn forest, seen?
- Ameteur bitcher, djsns
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ giving you true posts since 1999 - effa charter member
"I can assure you, we won't be putting money into a society which is not transparent and corrupt." -George W Bush
1. "i feel the same way~" In response to Reply # 0
altho i do want children, well child of my own one day, i also would like to adopt. or atleast have foster children, or both, i dont know, i love kids~~
I understand the concern of teenage pregnancy-- that's why we must educate not scorn, nothing is gained by bicthin'. We also must set examples. Have you done anything you're suggesting? And why doen't a person have the right to have a child of their own. They didn't have part in the hundreds, thousands of kids already in this shit hole of a world. As long as they can care for their seeds I think its a personal choice.
I shouldn't bitch. I didn't mean for it to sound like I was telling people what to do... I was definitely bitching (check my sig above).
People can have their own kids if they want. Maybe there's something i don't understand about being a parent (good thing i ain't one), but I think it's kind of vain to want your "own" child. My thinkin is if you raise an adopted child, they're as much your "own" kid as any blood relation.
So, no, i haven't done any of the stuff i'm talking about and i have no place tellin people what to do. Plus I'm a bitch. But i'm a bitch with an opinion.
ps - i'm not usually a bitch, don't worry
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ giving you true posts since 1999 - effa charter member
"I can assure you, we won't be putting money into a society which is not transparent and corrupt." -George W Bush
I plan on adopting one or two children...there are way too many children out there that don't have parents for various different reasons...I'm not even too sure if I'll give birth, I think we need to take care of the children that are already here, the same way that we care for the one's that we bring here...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "remember this..you don't complete me, you only make my cup runneth over...together, I will be no more than Kamilah, no less than Kamilah...never X's Kamilah...apart the cup will still be full, and I'll still be Kamilah"---me
CELEBRATING AUGUST AS "BOOM FLICK ON YOUR OWN DICK" or "STIMULATE YOUR OWN CLIT" but "BE A BITCH WHILE YOU DO IT" month... ****************
"stay outta my panties unless you're looking to get fed"---me on nosy muthafuckas
************* **************
"if your mind can see it then your vagina can achieve it"---Jumecca's advice on how to get layed in the 2000
"The greatest enemy of knowledge is not ignorance, it is the illusion of knowledge" - Stephen H
I agree that this is a wonderful thing to do, I may even look into it later on. I would love to adopt a preteen 5-12. I agree that this is a cruel world to bring children into.But we're also not responsible for the mistakes of others. And only partly responsible for the mistakes of our children biological or adopted, their all our own. As far as it being a vain thing to do (to have a child), it can also be seen as the most unselfish selfish thing to do. Having a child can change the coldest most egotistic heart. Trust me I know what I speak of. Unfortunetly adoption does not have the same effect on some (not to say that this people are bad)but for those it does, they make a difference for our future.---Peace
I'm 33, single, no kids. I should never want to have kids of my own? I never ruled out adoption, but I found out recently I might not be able to have kids and it's pretty depressing really. You may not think it's a big deal to want your own kids, but it is definitely an issue to some people. I don't think young women should be poppin out baby after baby, but I there are better ways to positively discuss this issue.
Please be a little kinder to those of us who have planned to wait - and to those of us who may not even be able to have our own....
Dove ~Sheepish Lordess of Chaos~
"don't give it out if we can't take it home..." Carmia
4. "Morning After in Schools" In response to Reply # 0
I say we should give the morning after pill in schools, we should also have condom machines in the bathrooms. Think about it, you are not about to stop teenagers from having sex. Instead of just avoiding the issue, lets face it head on. If a teenage girl in the 11th grade can barely support herself, how the hell is she going to support a child.
10. "RE: Morning After in Schools" In response to Reply # 4
YOur opening a whole new wound. I totally agree with you, they should be given out. But the way I hear it. The fine line between church and state have been broken. Catholics in particular are not wanting condoms and ish in school because they infringe on some kind of b.s. rule/commandment in their church. This is not only Catholics though.
Errr...as a high school student myself I KNOW these kids have sex...heck I've been guilty of it myself, but the thing is that these girls and boys aren't fully comfortable with their sexuality, they just want feeling and don't take into account...don't even know..that condoms, etc. need to be put on, applied, etc. So condoms in school would educate and they could still use them.
AIM:iLLmeTA
"This is not only a shameless push for this thread...but also a response."-me
THIS IS MY EFFIN MOTTO. SO IF YOU ASK ME THIS, THIS IS YOUR RESPONSE.
"Meta/proceeded by the Ill son/it's real son/like the funky feel one/but I ain't Cypress Hill dunn/The Lone Bird/like GunStar/SPit on single or 8 bars/drop jewels like Nick Cage gone in 60 second stealin' cars...."-yardicus (of yardbird33 fame)
12. "RE: Morning After in Schools" In response to Reply # 4
>I say we should give the >morning after pill in schools,
Do you really think this would be the way to go. Shouldn't the goal be educating so we can prevent the pregnancy before the abortion. As a used to be sexually active teen when I was in high school, I know no one can stop you from sex but it also shouldn't be made easier. This, you're suggesting, almost seems like a green light to act irresponsible.
>we should also have condom >machines in the bathrooms. Think >about it, you are not >about to stop teenagers from >having sex.
This I can agree with. This is prevention before conception, and it also touches the subject of health, which we should be educating on. Kids should never be allowed to have primiscious(?) sex.
>If a >teenage girl in the 11th >grade can barely support herself, >how the hell is she >going to support a child.
She can't but if forced into abortion what is to say the same mistake won't be made again with such an easy way out. If someone can support a family having children is a choice of the heart.----PEACE
I see that this discussion can only get me into arguments at this point. So I'm going to stop... mmm... in a minute.
I thought this post would be returned with more agreement. I thought more people saw it my way, but considering the population growth rate of this planet, I don't know wtf I was thinking. Of course people want to have their "own" children who look like them and remind them of themselves. It's only natural to fall in love with someone who reminds you of yourself. I know I'd go crazy for my own kid. I'm not saying i'm any different... but isn't that vain? (vane? vain? sp?)
Anyways, i'm sorry for being a bitch. i didn't mean to offend people. folks do what folks want, and someone always got a prob w/ it. i should have relaxed a little before posting... but i didn't. yall know how it is. this should be for personal growth and that was the intention of the original post but i kinda missed. but yall know what i was saying.
When I get (a whole lot) older, i want to adopt. I don't really care that much if a kid is my "real" kid. I mean, to me that sounds so........ u know what i mean? Like no one else's kid is good enough or something. But u know, whatever worx 4 u. Maybe for u, no one "else's" kid would, for all i know. I shouldn't be so judgemental. I know it's different for most folks... just don't think about it the same way as me... so, whatever's right 4 u, follow your path.
peace.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ giving you true posts since 1999 - effa charter member
"I can assure you, we won't be putting money into a society which is not transparent and corrupt." -George W Bush
9. "I don't disagree with you" In response to Reply # 7
I think adoption is great. I would adopt - I always figured I would - even if I had my own. If you were to walk up to me on the street and said to me what you typed in this post I probably would have cried - because it is a newly sensitive issue to me. It doesn't make you a bitch - and I would never call you that for having your opinion. All I'm saying is - there are more positive ways to address the issue. I dunno, I'm probably a lot more sensitive about it than some women right now, so maybe I'm not the best person to talk to about it. I don't disagree though - you have a valid point. You struck a chord with me -and that's why I replied the way I did. I don't think any less of you for your opinion. Dove ~Sheepish Lordess of Chaos~
"don't give it out if we can't take it home..." Carmia
and i'm sorry. I was seriously insensitive for a minute. I don't know wtf i was thinking. And thanks for bein a sweetheart about it. I see how you could be very effected by something like that.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ giving you true posts since 1999 - effa charter member
"I can assure you, we won't be putting money into a society which is not transparent and corrupt." -George W Bush
that was a short but powerful post u made... kinda struck a chord.
i assume you're talking about how much it costs to adopt. That's some bullsh** aint it... but then again it costs a lot more to raise a kid than to buy one.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ giving you true posts since 1999 - effa charter member
"I can assure you, we won't be putting money into a society which is not transparent and corrupt." -George W Bush
If the education system fails kids and some kids drop out then how are the schools going to teach safe sex? Condom machines would always be full unless there are incentives to drop a few cents in on the regular. Sex is easy and encouraged by the media. Some girls just want to have their own love child and some boys think having lots of babies make them a man. How do you build a teen's self esteem so they understand their true worth?
If some teenagers' parents were teens when they dropped them what would it take for them not to repeat that "mistake"? Parenting is easy when you don't have to work all hours of the day to make ends meet and when you aren't stressed to the point of tuning out your children. Nowadays real parenting is a luxury and getting knocked up is more common than getting locked up.
I work with teens everyday (for ten years) so I have learned to see things the way they see it. Teens follow examples and usually whatever is "cool" at the moment. Sex is cool. School is not cool. However, there are always exceptions but these people are not always around.
I was 18 and in my second semester as a college freshman when I decided to lose my virginity. Now, I am almost 30 and I chose not to have kids. I decided never to get pregnant. The pressure to get pregnant at age 29 is tremendous and it is a good thing I know my self worth or I would give in.
"No matter who you are or what your age may be, if you want to achieve permanent, sustaining success, the motivation that will drive you toward that goal must come from within." - Ultramagnetic MCs
I too have chosen not to have children. I fully support your decision, and I know from experience that it's not one that is popular. I kept my ligation a secret from my mother because she was really really upset when I told her I was thinking about doing it. (My theory is that she didn't need to know that I had the ligation. I didn't need her approval to do it, or to live my life, and if it was going to upset her, I just didn't think I needed to put it in her face). But friends, too, have had difficulty getting their arms around the issues.
Unohoo & I had a bit of a convo about this recently as a side issue on another thread.
Just stop. Quit thinking about it. Everytime your dick gets hard, think about broccoli. The longer you go without sex, the less you will want it. Therefore, major mission accomplished.
24. "RE: Quit having sex! & Re: the discussion in general" In response to Reply # 23
i don't know about that longer you go.
It's a reverse application of addiction theories.
The more you indulge the more you need to indulge, though that doesn't necesarily say the long you go without the less you want.
At least not in biological impulses. though if you don't eat for awhile, you stop wanting to, and i would imagine abstinant cats like priests detach themselves from their sexuality after awhile... well... (i'll reserve sarcastic comments there)
It both does and does not matter when people have kids. It IS more RESPONSIBLE for us to adopt kids that need love. To say this isn't to infringe upon someone's RIGHT as many will point out ("don't front on my right to have my own kids, yo").
If it infringes upon ones own sense of guilt, and desire to avoid dealing with the problems other people have created, so be it.
But that's what alot of activist life is--cleaning up other people's shit.
What I've read (and had backed up by personal experience) is that it is true that the longer you go without, the less you want it. But you actually have to think in the long term on this issue. Like, two weeks doesn't count. Think two years.
There are also physical differences between the sexes that create different tolerance periods. If I recall correctly, men have a harder time in the very short term (couple of weeks), while women's peak problem time comes at about 3-6 months. But apparently after a couple of years, it evens out.
Also, thanks for refraining from sarcastic comments about people who have vowed celibacy. We've all heard horrible stories about bad priests, but many of us (myself included) know or have known lots of people who were truly committed to their vows.
Peace.
~ ~ ~ All meetings end in separation All acquisition ends in dispersion All life ends in death - The Buddha
our sexuality is an enormous part of who we are. I too believe that celibacy would not be appropriate for me. But I also acknowledge and value those who have made the conscious decision to refrain from sexual activity as part of a larger decision to witness that the material world is not all there is or that "God is enough" as some put it.
What's nice, though, is to have a relationship with one's own sexuality that provides freedom to consciously decide and take responsibility for our bodies while encouraging and enhancing the benefits of expressing that sexuality. Many of us don't, or have periods of time when we don't, have a strong positive relationship with our sexual natures, or a consciousness of the power of sexuality. So sometimes a period of chastity can provide a little perspective.
Peace.
~ ~ ~ All meetings end in separation All acquisition ends in dispersion All life ends in death - The Buddha
i always have said that if i have money i will adopt children. don't get it twisted though i wanna carry some too. i don't get cramps every month for nothing!
23july2000 u can't have my fire/they fear'd ur flame/& so sprayed caustic foam out of dbl sided lips/speakin like pale faces w/broken peace pipes/U BLK/U UGLY/U INK SPOT/which in it's translation of nigganglish resounded to/I AM BLK/ I AM UGLY/I DON'T HAVE IT SO I CAN'T WANNA LOVE U/beautiful transcriptionist u are...dark elegy/that heightens midnight stars/which pale in daylight u spot of convection.../u say fierce real slow & be sayin "fire"/turn ur faces now to ur bricked bahamanian sphinx/look at her in ur wanton NEED to be DARK as the meetin of mary's thighs/to be as BLK as sun spots as UGLY as her heretofore eradicated nose/LOOK!!! at that blk girl gone blk gone blue beyond blue beyond u lookit fire y'all... leavin them w/burnt faces -k l moore one...- the bad bitch asighn4jane
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