Yo I just first off wanna say Peace to the Board.
But really I need a little help with a certain topic, Yo me and my wife was talking the other day, and I got to questioning, what is the problem amongst our people today. Why is it that we as a people still cannot get along?, my main focus though was on the women. Why is it that when a man is with his woman and another woman passes by his woman immediatly gets intimidated,? You always here women saying I'd rather hang out with men than other women, what is the problem as to why woman still are trapped inside of this own self hate of one another? I am confused and im sorry board if this topic has already been discussed,but I'm new here and have a big problem with this issue. so please help a brotha out.

well...Being that i'm an Alpha female i don't feel intimidated but come on Brother, some women are just trife. A majority of my friends are male because i don't have time to be caught up in no bullshit.

www.myspace.com/3rd_i

3rd i: so u gonna be my child's god parent
Dawgeatah: i already have 3
3rd i: yeah but do u have a black one..like pokemon gotta catch them all.

i am a self-mutilator
of the worst kind...
(c)MyLife

I feel you on the fact that some women are just trife, but my question is , what brings on this trifleness, why is it that way, is this something that was inbread, or is this something that was learned?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"my mama said/a lady ain't what she wears/but what she knows"~~India Arie

KizzMyBlakAzz: you've made yourself a shell
KizzMyBlakAzz: i know you're soft and gooey on the inside
LHoney17: I know I am....never said I wasn't
LHoney17: but that doesn't mean I get stepped on or that I'm not strong
KizzMyBlakAzz: Gooey
LHoney17: lol
KizzMyBlakAzz: Caramel
KizzMyBlakAzz: Center
LHoney17: lol....well that's a nice way to think of it
KizzMyBlakAzz: with like a hard choclate shell
LHoney17: think I'll put that in a personal ad
KizzMyBlakAzz: You're a Rollo
LHoney17: lmao
KizzMyBlakAzz: lmao

"Quentin's on his way/Quinton's on his way/Quentin's on his way/with another J/and it's ok!!/(we're gonna get high!!)" ~~Pharcyde

~~~~
http://omidele.blogspot.com/
http://rahareiki.tumblr.com/
http://seatofbliss.blogspot.com/

where would our peple be if everyone thought that way ?
Amina NiaRa

I can tell you anything you wanna hear but I can only teach you what I know

"We are so poor that we have nothing to earn respect but our principles."
-Julius Nyerere

"The philosophy of the African revolution... is defined by three political components of our liberation movement-namely: Nationalism, Panafricanism, and socialism."
- Kwame Nkrumah

aminamoonbeam@hotmail.com
and yes Im still A.L.I.V.E

<-Infinite Possibilities In Every Direction->
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people look for comfort and security. you want to know that you can trust the person you're with to be with you forever, so you can relax and trust doesn't have to be an issue.

if a woman is secure within herself and her relationship, she doesn't need to worry about her man eyeing other women. but if she's not secure about herself or her relationship, she sees roving eyes or attractive women as threats to either or both her family and her trust.

no one wants to come out a fool, right?

in reality, all the worrying about your mate being with other women is more counterproductive than anything. cuz once that trust has already been called into question it becomes fragile. and then you're both locked in an insecure relationship.


==**peace**==

"Words without work is not enough." Sizzla

There is more danger in the word exotic than in a sharpened machete --me

"The logic of divide and rule is still valid today." Capleton

DPP; DomePoem Poets; Vibe Nation; One ppl under the spoken word

.....

"Who need fossil fuel when the sun ain't goin' nowhere"
- Amiri Baraka

http://www.okayplayer.com/guidelines

BUY MY BOOK- only $6! Inbox me for details

>people look for comfort and security.
>you want to know that
>you can trust the person
>you're with to be with
>you forever, so you can
>relax and trust doesn't have
>to be an issue.

This is true, but the way the two sexes relate to one another is very complex. The reason most women feel comfortable with a group of guys than with other women is simple, most are more secure. There is a certain controlling -- domineering effect, that a woman (she doesnt even have to be all that sexy, but it doesnt hurt) has while in the presence of males. Usually she is the attention getter and has a good amount of control over the guys she's with, if she chooses to exert it. When another female comes into the picture, her control is no longer secure and some may feel as though they have to compete for attention now. People in general dont like competition and therefore become insecure.

>if a woman is secure within
>herself and her relationship, she
>doesn't need to worry about
>her man eyeing other women.
>but if she's not secure
>about herself or her relationship,
>she sees roving eyes or
>attractive women as threats to
>either or both her family
>and her trust.

And these are human issues that we all have to joust with, that's why I'm not trying to be in a serious relationship right now.
>
>no one wants to come out
>a fool, right?
>

Oh hell no, but on the otherside of that, if its "true" u gotta love like you've never been hurt. "Nigga quit bein' so got dayum selfish, put it in your pelvis..."

>in reality, all the worrying about
>your mate being with other
>women is more counterproductive than
>anything. cuz once that trust
>has already been called into
>question it becomes fragile. and
>then you're both locked in
>an insecure relationship.

U Hit the nail on the head.
>
>
>There is more danger in the
>word exotic than in a
>sharpened machete
> --me
WTF does this mean????



~~~~~~~~
AIM: Mello01
Homepage: http://members.blackplanet.com/2bYGB/
E-mail: melvin@poetic.com

********
If knowledge was your wealth, then it would be well-earned. -Silly E. Badu

Gary, Indiana, the city of the new century. -Mello

Did you hear about the rose that grew from the concrete? -Pac

Give a dayum if any fam recall my legacy, I'm tryna live life in tha sight of God's memory... -Mos Def

Its time to get some Ghetto Heaven
-Rasheed & D'

The people, united, will never be defeated. - Talib

exotic is a word people use to separate themselves from other people that undermines a basic humanity. for example, think about the difference between a bowl of beans n rice that you eat to fill yr belly and a bowl of beans n rice served because it is from the exotic country of cuba.

if you're cookin veggies on the stove using oil that you have for cookin and some spices, at which point does it become exotic? the minute you reach for a spice that you're not familiar with?

think about some of the ridiculous things people think about africans because they think of them as first exotic and second human. in reality, a lot of the "strange customs" etc. make a lot of sense in their proper context.

there is more danger to calling another human being exotic, which is very much dehumanizing, than in a weapon alone. because it's these crazy attitudes that bring about the weapons in the first place.

take liberia, for example. instead of the american government trying to understand the liberian government for what it is, it installed a government of newcomers who'd been exposed to the american ways of governing. and then quickly called liberians savages for uprising against the innocent new government. that judgemental attitude is what inspired the uprising in the first place.

exotic and civilized are two of the most dangerous words in the american vocabulary. they forge deep rifts between people and cause a lot of ridiculous prejudices.


==**peace**==

"Words without work is not enough." Sizzla

There is more danger in the word exotic than in a sharpened machete --me

"The logic of divide and rule is still valid today." Capleton

DPP; DomePoem Poets; Vibe Nation; One ppl under the spoken word

.....

"Who need fossil fuel when the sun ain't goin' nowhere"
- Amiri Baraka

http://www.okayplayer.com/guidelines

BUY MY BOOK- only $6! Inbox me for details

insecure women are the ones who get nervous when another walks by & usually the ones who harbor negative attitudes about other women...

and I say I like to hang out with men, but that's not out of self hate. I just tend to relate more to them than I do to most women.

but generally, I try to find a common bond with another woman before I think of her as a bitch/threat/someone who's gonna hate me...maybe that's just me.

L.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"my mama said/a lady ain't what she wears/but what she knows"~~India Arie

KizzMyBlakAzz: you've made yourself a shell
KizzMyBlakAzz: i know you're soft and gooey on the inside
LHoney17: I know I am....never said I wasn't
LHoney17: but that doesn't mean I get stepped on or that I'm not strong
KizzMyBlakAzz: Gooey
LHoney17: lol
KizzMyBlakAzz: Caramel
KizzMyBlakAzz: Center
LHoney17: lol....well that's a nice way to think of it
KizzMyBlakAzz: with like a hard choclate shell
LHoney17: think I'll put that in a personal ad
KizzMyBlakAzz: You're a Rollo
LHoney17: lmao
KizzMyBlakAzz: lmao

"Quentin's on his way/Quinton's on his way/Quentin's on his way/with another J/and it's ok!!/(we're gonna get high!!)" ~~Pharcyde

~~~~
http://omidele.blogspot.com/
http://rahareiki.tumblr.com/
http://seatofbliss.blogspot.com/

Our society tells women that they have certain important features. Those usually center around good looks. If you think women have a complex about other attractive women, why don't you think about the way our patriarchal society forces women into a role where they are only good if they are sexy. When I watch tv or listen to my sister and mom talk, I am constantly reminded that women are still placed in a position that is second class and not quite human. Men are afraid of intelligent and self-reliant women, but bitch when thier girlfriend gets jealous of other attractive women.

Im not trying to come down on you PantherPride. I dont know your situation. Im just saying that most of the problems men bitch about relating to women are based in our sexism and ignorance.

What do you think?

Russell

Naw Russ I feel you, and my problem is not about being scared of intelligent women. I know that society places certain standards on women, I mean we see it everyday in the videos, its like you gotta look a certain way, have your hair a certain way, have a certain body shape in order to make it. thats not my point, ,But while we are on that subject, do you think that it is the mans fault or societys fault that this is like this. Or is it up to the women to stop letting themselves be portrayed as that way, I know that sex sells, but what are our black women selling when they let this type of degradation happen.? Just a thought, but still my problems lies with the women, what will it take for our women to be Ok with themselves, and not have to worry about other women, or feeling intemidated by other women. It could be that fact that it is our fault as men, because we cannot recognize our women for what they are, it could be our fault as men because, we destroy our woman's inner pride, it could be our fault as men because we no longer no how to respect the black women, but still this seems like a battle that we as a people must engage in as a whole, and stop only looking out for ourselves.. what do yall think..

experience with women we've played nasty little decieving games with each other, which contributes to our feelings of intimidation. even deeper is the self-fullfilling prophecy of our own negative image of being untrustworthy hood rat sex mongers that we have been labelled with since colonization. that, to me, is the root of that image. if black women weren't the nannies, the fat selfless image of a trustworthy woman, then we use our beautiful bodies for sex and money and manipulation. unfortunately that negative image is so subconscious we don't even know it exists that deep, but it does. other contributing factors to this is the fact that black women have had to deal with being overlooked as a standard of beauty in america up until the last ten or so years is another issue that feeds into the negative self image and negative self worth. you gotta make sure your wife knows she's number one and that, no matter how beautiful other women are out there, she's the one you're coming home to every day. help her build a positive self image, and she won't be so intimidated by other women. sorry i wrote a book. i'm also not saying all black women feel this way, but for the majority of us that have low self esteem, this is a theory of the root of the problem.

You know Audio Im feeling you on this. This is some of the thoughts that also arose in my mind, and you know I probably do have a lot to do with the way that she feels, because of my own standards, and thats wrong, and I can admit that. You know the problem is as men we try so hard to place are women on a pedestal, but only when we want something (again looking out for self), but this is not something that we do all the time which is probably the problem. I hear men saying all the time " she is my number one though", and this here is a problem , because sometime number 2 is getting treated better than number one, crazy but true. You know, sometimes I have to look back at myself and think. well what is it that I am doing to make this problem better for the woman, or what is it that I am doing that is making this problem worse. I dont know. we must all come together as a people and lift one another up..