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Subject: "Interracial Adoptions" This topic is locked.
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LexM
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28342 posts
Thu Mar-01-01 10:31 AM

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"Interracial Adoptions"


  

          

This is not an exhaustive study on the topic, but a website I happened to stumble upon:

http://www.adoptivefamilies.org/aft/html/hairtips.html

discuss.

peace

L.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"my mama said/a lady ain't what she wears/but what she knows"~~India Arie

KizzMyBlakAzz: you've made yourself a shell
KizzMyBlakAzz: i know you're soft and gooey on the inside
LHoney17: I know I am....never said I wasn't
LHoney17: but that doesn't mean I get stepped on or that I'm not strong
KizzMyBlakAzz: Gooey
LHoney17: lol
KizzMyBlakAzz: Caramel
KizzMyBlakAzz: Center
LHoney17: lol....well that's a nice way to think of it
KizzMyBlakAzz: with like a hard choclate shell
LHoney17: think I'll put that in a personal ad
KizzMyBlakAzz: You're a Rollo
LHoney17: lmao
KizzMyBlakAzz: lmao

"Ignorance: The Verbal Airborne Disease" (c) my friend Ty

"Quentin's on his way/Quinton's on his way/Quentin's on his way/with another J/and it's ok!!/(we're gonna get high!!)" ~~Pharcyde

~~~~
http://omidele.blogspot.com/
http://rahareiki.tumblr.com/
http://seatofbliss.blogspot.com/

  

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Topic Outline
Subject Author Message Date ID
RE: Interracial Adoptions
BookWorm
Mar 01st 2001
1
RE: Interracial Adoptions
Mar 01st 2001
6
reminds me of when...
Mar 02nd 2001
10
RE: reminds me of when...
Marinera
Mar 02nd 2001
15
      very true n/m
Mar 02nd 2001
17
Sooooo,
Marinera
Mar 02nd 2001
16
this always
Mar 01st 2001
2
they steal babies in brazil
Mar 01st 2001
9
      wow...n/m
Mar 02nd 2001
11
the link dont work anymore
Mar 01st 2001
3
I agree...
Mar 02nd 2001
12
what would be the fallout from...
Mar 01st 2001
4
already adoption
Mar 01st 2001
5
RE: Interracial Adoptions
Mar 01st 2001
7
actually, that 's what I'm working on
Mar 01st 2001
8
FULL TEXT OF ARTICLE
Mar 02nd 2001
13
My Father's sister
Mar 02nd 2001
14

BookWorm

Thu Mar-01-01 12:37 PM

  
1. "RE: Interracial Adoptions"
In response to Reply # 0


          

I was walking through the mall one day in an all-white town when I saw these two little black boys staring at me. They were about 4 or 5 years old. One of them pointed at me and said, look mommy is that a black person? They had been adopted by white people and were being raised as though they were white. That to me is a tragedy!

  

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mcbadfeet
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1066 posts
Thu Mar-01-01 02:50 PM

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6. "RE: Interracial Adoptions"
In response to Reply # 1


          

to play devil's advocate here...unless you stopped and talked and them u can't say that. they may well have known that they were black but in a mostly/all white community you may have been the first live black person that they had seen in person outside of themselves.
________________________________________
-knead dough?? hit us up at-www.makindatbread.com
-representin the real since tuesday
-illified illustrated.word.fresh.

*get Lewis Taylor cd's here: http://www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/ASIN/B000006TEI/o/qid=983465806/sr=8-2/026-0085729-5341211

much cheaper than the regular amazon (they charge $30 bucks) you'll pay 12pounds here which converts to less than $15 bucks.

  

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LexM
Charter member
28342 posts
Fri Mar-02-01 03:14 AM

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10. "reminds me of when..."
In response to Reply # 1


  

          

I scared a little boy in Rhode Island...he came running around a corner, stopped, saw me, and ran right back around.

I was thinking, "hm...3 or 4 years old and never seen a Black person..."

L.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"my mama said/a lady ain't what she wears/but what she knows"~~India Arie

KizzMyBlakAzz: you've made yourself a shell
KizzMyBlakAzz: i know you're soft and gooey on the inside
LHoney17: I know I am....never said I wasn't
LHoney17: but that doesn't mean I get stepped on or that I'm not strong
KizzMyBlakAzz: Gooey
LHoney17: lol
KizzMyBlakAzz: Caramel
KizzMyBlakAzz: Center
LHoney17: lol....well that's a nice way to think of it
KizzMyBlakAzz: with like a hard choclate shell
LHoney17: think I'll put that in a personal ad
KizzMyBlakAzz: You're a Rollo
LHoney17: lmao
KizzMyBlakAzz: lmao

"Ignorance: The Verbal Airborne Disease" (c) my friend Ty

"Quentin's on his way/Quinton's on his way/Quentin's on his way/with another J/and it's ok!!/(we're gonna get high!!)" ~~Pharcyde

~~~~
http://omidele.blogspot.com/
http://rahareiki.tumblr.com/
http://seatofbliss.blogspot.com/

  

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Marinera

Fri Mar-02-01 12:07 PM

  
15. "RE: reminds me of when..."
In response to Reply # 10


          

>I scared a little boy in
>Rhode Island...he came running around
>a corner, stopped, saw me,
>and ran right back around.
>
>
>I was thinking, "hm...3 or 4
>years old and never seen
>a Black person..."

This kid will probably grow up being scared of black people, believing the stereotypes, etc. Really sad.

I really wish everyone could grow up in such a multicultural place like I have. Really. We'd still have problems with discrimination no doubt, but at least we wouldn't be scared of each other.

Just thought I'd throw that in there . . .

Giving you true calcio since 1986

"T-Dot drinkin Bakardi, T-Dot rockin the party . . . " - Kardinal Offishall (I love that joint)

AIM: Marinera81
MAIL: jonah_b27@hotmail.com

Check out http://www.greatergood.com Help end world hunger, save the rainforest, help stop AIDS in Africa, help children survive in 3rd world countries, stop breast cancer, and give treatment to landmine victims in less than a minute a day! FOR FREE! NO FORMS TO FILL OUT AND NO STRINGS! REALLY!!!

  

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LexM
Charter member
28342 posts
Fri Mar-02-01 03:38 PM

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17. "very true n/m"
In response to Reply # 15


  

          

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"my mama said/a lady ain't what she wears/but what she knows"~~India Arie

KizzMyBlakAzz: you've made yourself a shell
KizzMyBlakAzz: i know you're soft and gooey on the inside
LHoney17: I know I am....never said I wasn't
LHoney17: but that doesn't mean I get stepped on or that I'm not strong
KizzMyBlakAzz: Gooey
LHoney17: lol
KizzMyBlakAzz: Caramel
KizzMyBlakAzz: Center
LHoney17: lol....well that's a nice way to think of it
KizzMyBlakAzz: with like a hard choclate shell
LHoney17: think I'll put that in a personal ad
KizzMyBlakAzz: You're a Rollo
LHoney17: lmao
KizzMyBlakAzz: lmao

"Ignorance: The Verbal Airborne Disease" (c) my friend Ty

"Quentin's on his way/Quinton's on his way/Quentin's on his way/with another J/and it's ok!!/(we're gonna get high!!)" ~~Pharcyde

~~~~
http://omidele.blogspot.com/
http://rahareiki.tumblr.com/
http://seatofbliss.blogspot.com/

  

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Marinera

Fri Mar-02-01 12:10 PM

  
16. "Sooooo,"
In response to Reply # 1


          

They would've been better off in an orphanage?

That's the reality. And an orphanage is a REAL tough place to grow up in.

Just thought I'd throw that in there . . .

Giving you true calcio since 1986

"T-Dot drinkin Bakardi, T-Dot rockin the party . . . " - Kardinal Offishall (I love that joint)

AIM: Marinera81
MAIL: jonah_b27@hotmail.com

Check out http://www.greatergood.com Help end world hunger, save the rainforest, help stop AIDS in Africa, help children survive in 3rd world countries, stop breast cancer, and give treatment to landmine victims in less than a minute a day! FOR FREE! NO FORMS TO FILL OUT AND NO STRINGS! REALLY!!!

  

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guerilla_love
Charter member
8273 posts
Thu Mar-01-01 12:44 PM

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2. "this always"
In response to Reply # 0


          

sounded so strange to me.

so do the large american adoption markets for kids from developing countries.

"oh, hon-neeeee! let's get a thai kid! those thais are always so-o-o-o-o friggin cyooooooot!"



==**peace**==

"Words without work is not enough." Sizzla

There is more danger in the word exotic than in a sharpened machete --me

"The logic of divide and rule is still valid today." Capleton

DPP; DomePoem Poets; Vibe Nation; One ppl under the spoken word

.....

"Who need fossil fuel when the sun ain't goin' nowhere"
- Amiri Baraka

http://www.okayplayer.com/guidelines

BUY MY BOOK- only $6! Inbox me for details

  

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nahymsa
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1734 posts
Thu Mar-01-01 04:45 PM

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9. "they steal babies in brazil"
In response to Reply # 2


          

its wild. I saw a program on this town in brazil where the government works in conjunction with adopting white parents.

The government declares a family unfit to keep their child due to poverty & their circumstances. The child is placed in foster care & sometimes in less that 2 weeks, adopted by waiting white american & european parents. This is before hearing or after rushed hearings. Then the parents have no recourse because their kids are taken out of the country & they don't have the money and assistance to fight.

The government tried to justify this by saying they were helping the kids but what's wild is that this did not happen to the poor darkskinned children - only the fair ones that looked "white".

So not only was it a racist but its basically punishing people for being poor. Its becoming that children are a luxury on the rich can afford - and the rich can steal your children.

  

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LexM
Charter member
28342 posts
Fri Mar-02-01 03:15 AM

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11. "wow...n/m"
In response to Reply # 9


  

          

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"my mama said/a lady ain't what she wears/but what she knows"~~India Arie

KizzMyBlakAzz: you've made yourself a shell
KizzMyBlakAzz: i know you're soft and gooey on the inside
LHoney17: I know I am....never said I wasn't
LHoney17: but that doesn't mean I get stepped on or that I'm not strong
KizzMyBlakAzz: Gooey
LHoney17: lol
KizzMyBlakAzz: Caramel
KizzMyBlakAzz: Center
LHoney17: lol....well that's a nice way to think of it
KizzMyBlakAzz: with like a hard choclate shell
LHoney17: think I'll put that in a personal ad
KizzMyBlakAzz: You're a Rollo
LHoney17: lmao
KizzMyBlakAzz: lmao

"Ignorance: The Verbal Airborne Disease" (c) my friend Ty

"Quentin's on his way/Quinton's on his way/Quentin's on his way/with another J/and it's ok!!/(we're gonna get high!!)" ~~Pharcyde

~~~~
http://omidele.blogspot.com/
http://rahareiki.tumblr.com/
http://seatofbliss.blogspot.com/

  

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Ape Redwood
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6088 posts
Thu Mar-01-01 12:47 PM

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3. "the link dont work anymore"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

but...

I think that white parents for a non-white child are still better than no parents or a group home. With the shortage of people willing to adopt kids, I think any qualified adult is good.

Buuuut, if this shortage were to be remedied I would say its better to stick kids with parents of similar backgrounds to lessen the inevitable identity crisis that occurs with all adopted kids. If you are white and are planning on adopting a non-white child, you better do some SERIOUS SERIOUS SERIOUS research into racism and the kids heritage first.

---------------------
Thursday, June 17th
Dujeous @ Bowery Ballroom
6 Delancey Street (at Bowery)
w/Addison Groove Project &
Gutbucket
10PM~$13
DUJEOUS debut LP "CITY
LIMITS" INSTOSNOW.
Buy my shit.

  

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LexM
Charter member
28342 posts
Fri Mar-02-01 03:18 AM

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12. "I agree..."
In response to Reply # 3


  

          

with what you're saying. I go a step further and say I don't see the problem with gay parents raising children. Love is love, no matter where you find it, and too many kids grow up without it these days.

I posted the link to the article because of its condescending, skewed language & ideas of the Black community and Black culture. Just goes to show how something as simple as doing a child's hair can breed ignorance and misconceptions.

L.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"my mama said/a lady ain't what she wears/but what she knows"~~India Arie

KizzMyBlakAzz: you've made yourself a shell
KizzMyBlakAzz: i know you're soft and gooey on the inside
LHoney17: I know I am....never said I wasn't
LHoney17: but that doesn't mean I get stepped on or that I'm not strong
KizzMyBlakAzz: Gooey
LHoney17: lol
KizzMyBlakAzz: Caramel
KizzMyBlakAzz: Center
LHoney17: lol....well that's a nice way to think of it
KizzMyBlakAzz: with like a hard choclate shell
LHoney17: think I'll put that in a personal ad
KizzMyBlakAzz: You're a Rollo
LHoney17: lmao
KizzMyBlakAzz: lmao

"Ignorance: The Verbal Airborne Disease" (c) my friend Ty

"Quentin's on his way/Quinton's on his way/Quentin's on his way/with another J/and it's ok!!/(we're gonna get high!!)" ~~Pharcyde

~~~~
http://omidele.blogspot.com/
http://rahareiki.tumblr.com/
http://seatofbliss.blogspot.com/

  

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Gloworm
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6077 posts
Thu Mar-01-01 12:48 PM

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4. "what would be the fallout from..."
In response to Reply # 0


          

..a black couple adopting a white child....

and i'm not talking about bill and camille cosby taking in one.

i honestly don't think that i've ever seen that before.

_____________
"We haven't gotten freedom for Leonard Peltier yet. Maybe he's not Marc Rich enough." - Robbie Robertson when presenting the first Grammy for Native American music


  

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guerilla_love
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8273 posts
Thu Mar-01-01 12:51 PM

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5. "already adoption"
In response to Reply # 4


          

can/does screw a kid up in so many ways.

already the identity crisis is heavy.

but a child in this situation will be reminded much more of their mysterious identity-- makes it harder to pretend that your parents are your parents


==**peace**==

"Words without work is not enough." Sizzla

There is more danger in the word exotic than in a sharpened machete --me

"The logic of divide and rule is still valid today." Capleton

DPP; DomePoem Poets; Vibe Nation; One ppl under the spoken word

.....

"Who need fossil fuel when the sun ain't goin' nowhere"
- Amiri Baraka

http://www.okayplayer.com/guidelines

BUY MY BOOK- only $6! Inbox me for details

  

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mcbadfeet
Charter member
1066 posts
Thu Mar-01-01 02:54 PM

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7. "RE: Interracial Adoptions"
In response to Reply # 0


          

i understand the argument....but...after its all said and done and we've all complained about white people adopting black children, who are YOU gonna adopt when it's time to raise your family....right. the percentage of white folks who adopt and black folks that adopt are soooooooo far apart its sick. some of that can be attributed to fertility rates and the need for adoption but straight up if u'd rather see a black child in black hands...open yours.
_______________________________________
-knead dough?? hit us up at-www.makindatbread.com
-representin the real since tuesday
-illified illustrated.word.fresh.

*get Lewis Taylor cd's here: http://www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/ASIN/B000006TEI/o/qid=983465806/sr=8-2/026-0085729-5341211

much cheaper than the regular amazon (they charge $30 bucks) you'll pay 12pounds here which converts to less than $15 bucks.

  

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nahymsa
Charter member
1734 posts
Thu Mar-01-01 04:39 PM

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8. "actually, that 's what I'm working on"
In response to Reply # 7


          

I definetly agree that we should adopt our own.

I do notice though that its harder for black parents to adopt black children than white parents to adopt any child. There are too many willing single blacks or poorer black couples that attempt to adopt and are rejected. The cost associated with adoption is ridiculous & preventative for plenty of us too.

its way beyond, we just dont do for our own. its also about how when we try doors are constantly slammed in our faces.

  

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LexM
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28342 posts
Fri Mar-02-01 03:33 AM

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13. "FULL TEXT OF ARTICLE"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

thanks for letting me know the link was down ...It starts off ok, but quickly deteriorates later on...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The following tips were contributed by Nancy Belk, an adoptive mom and a member of the African-American community. Input was also provided by members of AFT’s online support group for adoptive parents of children with special needs--emotional, educational, behavioral, and/or physical. For more information about this group, send e-mail to aftlist-owner@egroups.com.
If you would like to contribute to the Tip Corner, please let us know! Tips will be updated on a regular basis.


Tips for Interracial Families: Black Hair
Care

Many Caucasian mothers raising African-American children have
difficulty understanding what a critical issue proper Black hair care really is. Doing it wrong can seriously wound a child's self-esteem, racial pride, and ultimately severely impact whether she will be acceptable to the other children at school and other adults when she matures. This is because learning to "be Black" is a cultural and not a biological imperative. In other words, Black children learn to get along with each other one step at a time, so that by the time they are adults, they can become a support system to each other in a world that is sometimes very cold and hostile to African-Americans.

Combing and Cutting

Many Caucasian moms raising African-American children seem to
have trouble when the child or baby doesn't want to have her hair
combed. (I'm not sure why this is, since the very same mothers
wouldn't give in if their child threw a fit because she wanted
something else not good for them, like candy at the grocery line.)
While it may seem expedient simply to cut the child's hair very short, thus eliminating the need for the lengthy combing process, this will actually cause lasting damage not only to the child's self-esteem, but also to the whole process of becoming accepted in the Black community. To a white mother she may look just fine, even cute with that short haircut, but to other little Black girls and boys she is going to be talked about as looking like a boy. She is going to be laughed at, ridiculed, and avoided when it is time to play games, have silly conversations, have slumber parties -- you get the idea, I hope. Because to Black America, hair is a symbol of the pride in being Black, and to ignore it, or treat it like a burden is tantamount to treating the very fact of being African-American itself as a burden as
well. White culture finds short hair cute. Black doesn't. It's that simple.

A child who just doesn't fit in because her hair is "nappy" or
"looks crazy" or "like a boy," is going to grow up unable to relate to Blacks because she won't be able to participate in learning the lessons. This puts her at high risk of having to then have to find all of her primary friendships with white kids. This may also seem just fine, even very progressive to some white mothers, but it will mean that she always has to be the one who is "different," the one whose race is always an issue, the one who can't ever relax. This will cause low self-esteem and can profoundly impact her chances of achieving a satisfying and comfortable life.


HAIR is very important! And it is for all the reasons above that
any Black mom whose kid threw a tantrum at having her hair
combed would be as gentle as possible, but would nonetheless
continue with the task. Babies shouldn't be put in control of such a high-life-impact decision, and African-American mothers know this.

Matted Hair

African-American girl children often really aren't ready to take care of their own hair until they are 16 or so, and even then may use the help of their friends. The matted mess is common. She either needs to have it done professionally, or have her mother learn to do it, or have a Black friend do it.

Extensions

Hair extensions are available for around $40, a little more or less depending on geographic location. With almost no care at all, they will last up to six weeks before getting "nappy." At that time, the child can take them out (cheaper, but requires some self-discipline on the part of the child to stay on task until the job is done), or the mother can remove them, or the person doing the braiding can do it. If the latter, expect the process to take around four to seven hours.

For people inexperienced with hair extensions, the big (thick) braids are the best way to start, as the small ones get entangled with the natural hair and are quite difficult to take out unless you know what you are doing (and even then it can be a chore).

Extension Care: Wash and wear. Spray the hair daily with oil
spray, available in a spray can by TCB, or use Braid Spray in the
pump plastic bottle. It's sort of like using hair spray, very easy. Both are available where Black hair care products are sold. Other than that, just a little smoothing in the front is all that is necessary. To make the hair look especially nice, use some Black hair care gel, in the little plastic jar. There's a brown kind and a clear yellow kind, and there really is no difference between them, despite labels to the contrary. They all flake a little, and if it is used regularly the child will
have to wash her hair--easier now, with extensions. Gel should
definitely be used for church, or programs, or the like. It doesn't really matter to anyone, white or Black, if it is used for school or play.

Finding Professional Black Hair Care

There are several options for paying someone to do Black hair. If a friend is enlisted to help, she should still be paid, just not as much as the beauty salon (which, by the way, must be a BLACK beauty salon). The easiest way to find a "friend" to do a child's hair is to look for some other kid with great looking extensions, say in the store or at school, and then talk to her mother. Ask her where she got her daughter's hair done. Ask if she thinks that person would be willing to do your daughter's hair. This process of word-of-mouth is the accepted way to find someone to do Black hair when you don't have anyone in mind. Everyone in the Black community does it all the time. Ask how much her friend usually charges, because it's considered bad manners to ask the friend (it's just a Black thing).

Price is determined by asking your referral how much she paid, and then, since you don't know this lady and she does, you might kick in a few extra bucks.

The Natural

If you decide to go with an Afro, i.e., natural, the easiest and
cheapest way to comb the hair each day is as follows: Wet the hair thoroughly each morning under the tub faucet and then wrap it with a towel. After it is no longer dripping, put a few drops of vegetable oil in your palms, rub it in both palms, and then rub your palms all over the hair, pressing down to get the oil in. For scalps that are sensitive to hair products, corn oil, safflower oil, etc., work fine and will leave hair soft and without an odor.

To comb the hair, use a metal pick (used to be called a cake
cutter), which can be bought from Meijer. Systematically work from the ends to the roots being careful not to hurt the scalp or have too much breakage. Comb the hair straight out all the way around, and then shape it lightly by patting it gently with your hands. Finally, tie a scarf on it ever so lightly.

Great Books for Kids

A wonderful book to read to your daughter is Cornrows by Camille
Yarbrough (available at Amazon.com). It tells all about how
different braiding designs tell stories, and how mothers and
grandmothers continue oral storytelling traditions during the combing and braiding process.

Another great Black child hair book is I Love My Hair by
Natasha Tarpley.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"my mama said/a lady ain't what she wears/but what she knows"~~India Arie

KizzMyBlakAzz: you've made yourself a shell
KizzMyBlakAzz: i know you're soft and gooey on the inside
LHoney17: I know I am....never said I wasn't
LHoney17: but that doesn't mean I get stepped on or that I'm not strong
KizzMyBlakAzz: Gooey
LHoney17: lol
KizzMyBlakAzz: Caramel
KizzMyBlakAzz: Center
LHoney17: lol....well that's a nice way to think of it
KizzMyBlakAzz: with like a hard choclate shell
LHoney17: think I'll put that in a personal ad
KizzMyBlakAzz: You're a Rollo
LHoney17: lmao
KizzMyBlakAzz: lmao

"Ignorance: The Verbal Airborne Disease" (c) my friend Ty

"Quentin's on his way/Quinton's on his way/Quentin's on his way/with another J/and it's ok!!/(we're gonna get high!!)" ~~Pharcyde

~~~~
http://omidele.blogspot.com/
http://rahareiki.tumblr.com/
http://seatofbliss.blogspot.com/

  

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Afroteck
Charter member
4590 posts
Fri Mar-02-01 11:32 AM

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14. "My Father's sister"
In response to Reply # 13


          

My aunt married a white man, and have been happily married for more than thirty years. Together they have had two children, and have adopted two children, one biracial, and the other black. All of their children have a very firm grasp upon their race and are very open about it. Two of their children have married white people, and one has married another interracial person.
about ten years ago, they were all on Oprah to discuss this topic, and it was very interesting.
________________________________________________________________________________
~My Mom's Jamaican, My Pop's American, I guess I'm Jamerican~

~NEVER try to cut your own hair~

"I'm a star, but I'd rather be a comet by far"
-Andre 3000

"Nelly Furtado is FINE!"
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