My child support was adjusted a few weeks ago. I have one son and love him like any REAL father would. My child support went up from 230 a month to 617 a month. Even though I only make a LITTLE bit more than I used to.....here are some thoughts that I wrote the day it was increased.....some of these things might have been written out of anger but I am leaving it as it is would like some opinions on the questions I brought up though:

Nicole and I had a child together. We then decided the relationship was not working out. I had provided equal monetary support to Jacob up until this time. Soon after we separated she met someone else, married him and moved to another state. She did not give me an address. Needless to say I could not offer any type of support to my son after this. She then wrote a letter to Domestic Relations detailing my lack of support. I was labled a dead-beat father and issued a court date. On this day they determined my obligation to Jacob. I had no problem with it as I wanted more than anything to be able to support my son even if only monetarily. I agreed to the amount but noticed when the judge asked Nicole her address that she stated she still lived in Maryland. I did not bring this up however as I was already labled the bad guy. Since then I have had my obligation adjusted (increased) from 115 bi-weekly to 617 a month. I am only making one dollar more per hour than when it was originally determined. They added in the cost of daycare which I am now paying for 100%. I make 57% of our combined income. I was Also told that I would need to provide health insurance if my job offers it. Unless it was "unreasonable". The lady went on to explain that "unreasonable" had no clear cut definition but the way she had always determined it was that if the health insurance cost interfered with my child support obligation it would be "unreasonable". Meaning if I made say $550 dollars a month and my obligation was $500, with health insurance being $49, well that is reasonable according to the State, even though it would leave me with only $1 a month. I recently lost my job and after about 2 weeks recieved a letter telling me that my license was going to be suspended for failure to pay my child support. I assumed that if I was making no money my 57% of our income would now be 0%. Of course I was wrong. However it is interesting to note that if Nicole loses her job my obligation would go up, she would also not have her license suspended. I find it odd that my child support comes out of my check before I ever see it, yet Nicole's 43% is not in any way regulated by any government agency. If she loses her job it is ok but if I lose mine I am a dead beat dad. I also think it is odd that the government requires no reciepts or proof that my support is going to Jacob. I was told that even if Nicole used the money to pay for her rent since Jacob lives with her it would be considered legal. Well does that apply to her car payment and HER clothes and HER food also, because none of that was considered when determining my obligation. I have to pay rent, I have a car and I need to eat. Without these things I would die, and thus be unable to pay my child support or ever hope of spending time with Jacob. I love my son and want what is best for him like any father would, but not at the expense of my own life. I just want to be treated fairly. So far I have not been. Nicole's job offers Health insurance why is she not obligated to pay for it....or at least pay her 47% of it. What about daycare why am I paying the full cost? Also if while watching Jacob one day I met a woman and decided to get married to her and move to alaska....I would then be guilty of kidnapping well what about the fact that she did exactly that and suffered no legal action what-so-ever. I feel this system needs to be re-evaluated on the grounds that it is biased against fathers, and only works to bring the MOTHER into a meaningful, carefree and LUCRATIVE relationship with the child. WIC? What happened to Men and Infant Children? Why am I a dead-beat father.....for not sending money to my sons GRANDMOTHER who was the only address I had when Nicole moved?!!?!? How do they figure I'll find a new job with no license. Just some things to ponder.

I would like to add that Nicole told my son the guy she married was his father and that I am just a friend of hers. When I have to discipline him it makes me feel like an asshole, cause he's like "who the hell does this guy think he is....wait till I tell my dad"...you know. How can I tell a 5 year old that I am his dad and that his mom lied to him....I can't.....man, if I knew having a child was going to make me the devil I would have though twice.........

...and i thought i had it bad.

like an elder said: "if everbody in a group threw in their cards of the problems they had onto the table, and you had to pick one, you'd probably take back your own."

keep your head up.

(((((SCENE FROM AMISTAD)))))

Baldwin(white man): "I said it! I said it! But I shouldn't have. Now what I should have said..."

Translator: "I can't translate that. I can't translate SHOULD."

Roger Baldwin: "You mean there's no word in Mende for SHOULD?"

Translator: "No, either you do something or you don't don't do it."

Roger Baldwin: "What I said to you before the judgment is ALMOST how it works, ALMOST..."

Cinqué (Sengbe): "What kind of place is this?!? Where you almost mean what you say?!? Where laws almost work?!? How can you live like this?!?"

(((((PEACE)))))

>like an elder said: "if everbody
>in a group threw in
>their cards of the problems
>they had onto the table,
>and you had to pick
>one, you'd probably take back
>your own."

diggin that quote

L.


~~~SPITFIRE: 6/28/01~~~
carameldom@hotmail.com
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Bmore-Okayplayers

"The entire world is being driven insane by this single phrase: "My religion alone is true." ...Who can make a system from Divine Mystery? But if any sincere practitioner, within whatever culture or religion, prays and meditates with great devotion & committment to Truth alone, Your Grace will flood his mind and heart..." ~~Ramakrishna

"Ignorance: The Verbal Airborne Disease" (c) my friend Ty

~~~~
http://omidele.blogspot.com/
http://rahareiki.tumblr.com/
http://seatofbliss.blogspot.com/

if you can. iknow you probably dont want to do that, esp. at the expense of looking like the bad guy, but if you dont youll never have anything.

as far as the system goes, well its up to us (our generation) to "try" to change it. but ya know how that goes. for right now, you gotta work on gettin some paper BACK in your pocket.
cause if you dont, you wont be around TO SEE ABOUT YOUR SON.

hit my inbox, rashid.
maybe WE can get you some help, FOR REAL!
and in the meantime, stay up.


Allah says in the 21st Surah, Al Anbiya' (The Prophets):
51. We bestowed aforetime on Abraham his rectitude of conduct, and well were We acquainted with him.
52. Behold! he said to his father and his people, "What are these images, to which ye are (so assiduously) devoted?"
53. They said, "We found our fathers worshipping them."
54. He said, "Indeed ye have been in manifest error - ye and your fathers."
55. They said, "Have you brought us the Truth, or are you one of those who jest?"
56. He said, "Nay, your Lord is the Lord of the heavens and the earth, He Who created them (from nothing): and I am a witness to this (Truth).
57. "And by Allah, I have a plan for your idols - after ye go away and turn your backs"..
58. So he broke them to pieces, (all) but the biggest of them, that they might turn (and address themselves) to it.
59. They said, "Who has done this to our gods? He must indeed be some man of impiety!"
60. They said, "We heard a youth talk of them: He is called Abraham."
61. They said, "Then bring him before the eyes of the people, that they may bear witness."
62. They said, "Art thou the one that did this with our gods, O Abraham?"
63. He said: "Nay, this was done by - this is their biggest one! ask them, if they can speak intelligently!"
64. So they turned to themselves and said, "Surely ye are the ones in the wrong!"
65. Then were they confounded with shame: (they said), "Thou knowest full well that these (idols) do not speak!"
66. (Abraham) said, "Do ye then worship, besides Allah, things that can neither be of any good to you nor do you harm?
67. "Fie upon you, and upon the things that ye worship besides Allah. Have ye no sense?"....

subhakallahumma wabihamdika ashhadu anla ilaha illa anta astaghfiruka wa attuubu ilaikaa

I TRULY feel for you. Do you have joint custody of your son? Did your ex really leave the state? Or just move somewhere within it w/ out giving you an address? I think if you fought for joint custody your child support payments would be lowered cause you'd have your son 1/2 of the time. What does Maryland state law say? Sounds like you see him sometime. Are the visits arranged with his mom? Or through the courts? You need to state your case to the judge, though. That shit ain't right. Best believe she will pay for that in the long run. You just do right by your son, he's not blind. In the longrun, he'll put two and two together and see who the bad guy (in this case it sounds like the "bad gal") is. There are two sides to every story and I haven't heard hers, but all in all, no matter what beef she has with you, she OWES it to your son to allow him to know/have a relationship with his father.
Here in California there's a program called "My Child Says Daddy". My uncles best friend is it's founder, his name is Reggie Brass. He went through a similar scenario (much worse really) and and he got his payments lowered to a "reasonable" amount by his standards AND joint custody of his son (his ex even changed her son's name from Jr. so his dad couldn't find him). I'm sure he'll have some tips for you. I'll have to get back to you with his number (need to call 'Unc'). I can email it to you, it you'd like.

y'all *really* think" that you're tricking somebody into something don't you? what you don't realize is that most women decide within the first 5 minutes of meeting a dude whether or not they'll sleep with him. all your "game" is merely entertainment. - H

my son's father was gone by the time i was 4 months pregnant. he just couldn't make up his mind about whether or not he wanted me to have our son. i haven't seen him since and i doubt i will ever again. i'm sorry for the problems that you are facing. i would give anything to have my son know who his father is. you must set things straight.i wish you all the best.

Thanx for the inspiration so far peoples!
I would like to add that I would like all the help I can get, but for some reason I feel like this is something I have to do on my own. I mean, with a lawyer and all, but it just ill to know it has to come to that.

I do see my son once in awhile. For instance the week after her husband told her to get out I became her new best friend. I saw through it of course, but now she hates me again for not begging her to come back or something.

She did tell me though that her husband wants to take her to court because he has proof that she is an unfit mother. She might have just been talking out her A$$ though, get some sympathy from me ya' know?

Also I understand none of you know her side of the story and would never ask you to judge her, in fact I don't judge her myself. I just want to see my son, and have him see me as his father.

Actually I am content with being his friend as "father" or "dad" is just a word and he LOVES to chill wit his pops!

SUPPORT MUMIA ABU-JAMAL!!!!!
He needs more help than I do, if you don't know his story (yeah, right!) than look it up!

Yo, this in no way really "helps" the situation , but..
I can understand why people just lose it.

The whole system seems unfairly balanced.
Just the fact that she has the kid most all the time *AND* is married and has someone else to support her, should have been proof enough.

If everything is as you state, man, I dunno what I'd do.
I just saw myself getting very very very angry as I read that.

Peace and goodvibes.


Arnold:
http://members.nbci.com/ogando/jail.ra
"This Means You and Copa Cabanga remix"
http://members.nbci.com/ogando/remix.ra

jose3030@acuradriver.com

________________________
http://www.twitter.com/jose3030 - Twitter

I don't know what to say.

Part of me wants to sound like my mother and go, "Well, you should have thought of all that before...." blah blah blah. But what's done is done, and the past can't be changed. So I'm not going there.

The other part (the majority of me) deeply sympathizes with you. The system is right for punishing dads that don't do their job, but that makes them unfairly harsh to fathers that get caught up in a bad situation. My ex went through similar things with his daughter's mother.

She crossed a line when she told Jacob you weren't his father. Really. For more reasons than I can count, he has a right to know who his father is. And she had no right to move away like that.

I'm with abduhu. Get a lawyer. And fight this.

Blessings to you. And good luck

L.


~~~SPITFIRE: 6/28/01~~~
carameldom@hotmail.com
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Bmore-Okayplayers

"The entire world is being driven insane by this single phrase: "My religion alone is true." ...Who can make a system from Divine Mystery? But if any sincere practitioner, within whatever culture or religion, prays and meditates with great devotion & committment to Truth alone, Your Grace will flood his mind and heart..." ~~Ramakrishna

"Ignorance: The Verbal Airborne Disease" (c) my friend Ty

~~~~
http://omidele.blogspot.com/
http://rahareiki.tumblr.com/
http://seatofbliss.blogspot.com/

I am sorry to hear about your situation but whether you like it or not you have to get a lawyer to straighten everything out. Your ex is using you and there is no way that the current situation will benefit her, you, or your child. Child support is business. The minute one parent petitions the court for support it becomes business, not personal.

My parents never did the court/support thing. My mother was independent, had a college degree and a career. My father was a high-school drop-out, trying to find his niche in life. My mother took my father to court after the divorce but mostly to get full custody. In order for my father to see us he had to pay child support to her directly, so he did. For years, this arrangement worked and eventually I became the support-negotiator for my parents. I was the oldest and I guess more responsible than my sisters.

For my mother, child support meant business. There were never any arguments about what my father paid, as long as he paid something. Otherwise, no visitation. In frustration, my father kidnapped us when we were little and took us to his hometown. Soon after, my mother had us returned. How she did it I will never know but it was still business. I saw my father, spent the summers with him almost every year after I turned 10. My mother never said a unkind word about my father. She told us the truth and the rest we could see for ourselves.

I guess the lesson I learned from my parents was how to be responsible- for my actions and decisions. My mother was responsible and my father was often irresponsible but he learned how to become more mature about his role as father over time. I learned to wait on children until I met a responsible guy (not like my father). I am still waiting and that's okay because I never want to be in the situation other parents are in.

You keep saying, "I don't want to be the bad guy". Perhaps that is how you see yourself but it's not true. Take the personal out of this for a moment and be the responsible one since it sounds like someone needs to be in order to save your relationship with your son. Document everything- phone calls, correspondence/letters, even conversations (tape recorder) if need be. Take all this evidence to legal aid and present your case. Tell them what you want to come of the situation whether it be visitation rights or partial-custody. If you have to pay child support you have rights. You will need someone to negotiate with the court, preferably a lawyer who knows the law.

Good luck!



"Know thyself"

"Let your conduct be without covetousness; be content with such things as you have. For He Himself has said, "I will never leave you or forsake you". So we may boldly say, "The Lord is my helper, I will not fear. What can man do to me?"
-- Hebrews 13:5,6

"There is a difference between knowing the path and walking the path"
--Morpheus in "The Matrix"

"It's our choices, Harry, that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities"- Dumbledore to Harry Potter "Chamber of Secrets"

<--- Blame this lady for Nutty.

>My child support was adjusted a
>few weeks ago. I
>have one son and love
>him like any REAL father
>would. My child support
>went up from 230 a
>month to 617 a month.

this happen to 2 guys i know my boyfriend and bestfriend.
one pays 600 the other 650!



> Soon after we
>separated she met someone else,
>married him and moved to
>another state.
at this point you should have contacted a lawyer!

She did
>not give me an address.
> Needless to say I
>could not offer any type
>of support to my son
>after this.

if you gonna do the right thing you gotta be ahead of the game.
get a lawyer and get custody at this time!

She then
>wrote a letter to Domestic
>Relations detailing my lack of
>support.

she you thught she wouldnt do it but you should have done it first.

I was labled
>a dead-beat father and issued
>a court date.

All men are labeled dead beat no matter if they pay or not. It is not fair!

On
>this day they determined my
>obligation to Jacob. I
>had no problem with it
>as I wanted more than
>anything to be able to
>support my son even if
>only monetarily. I agreed
>to the amount but noticed
>when the judge asked Nicole
>her address that she stated
>she still lived in Maryland.
> I did not bring
>this up however as I
>was already labled the bad
>guy.

thats where you went wrong.

Since then I
>have had my obligation adjusted
>(increased) from 115 bi-weekly to
>617 a month.

thats alot

I am
>only making one dollar more
>per hour than when it
>was originally determined.

get a lawyer!!! NOW!

They
>added in the cost of
>daycare which I am now
>paying for 100%. I
>make 57% of our combined
>income. I was Also
>told that I would need
>to provide health insurance if
>my job offers it.

what about her???


>Unless it was "unreasonable".
>The lady went on to
>explain that "unreasonable" had no
>clear cut definition but the
>way she had always determined
>it was that if the
>health insurance cost interfered with
>my child support obligation it
>would be "unreasonable". Meaning
>if I made say $550
>dollars a month and my
>obligation was $500, with health
>insurance being $49, well that
>is reasonable according to the
>State, even though it would
>leave me with only $1
>a month. I recently
>lost my job and after
>about 2 weeks recieved a
>letter telling me that my
>license was going to be
>suspended for failure to pay
>my child support.

LAWYER!!!

I
>assumed that if I was
>making no money my 57%
>of our income would now
>be 0%. Of course
>I was wrong. However
>it is interesting to note
>that if Nicole loses her
>job my obligation would go
>up, she would also not
>have her license suspended.
Where do you live?


>I find it odd that
>my child support comes out
>of my check before I
>ever see it, yet Nicole's
>43% is not in any
>way regulated by any government
>agency.

cuz she has Full Custody!! Get your rights daddy!

If she loses
>her job it is ok
>but if I lose mine
>I am a dead beat
>dad. I also think
>it is odd that the
>government requires no reciepts or
>proof that my support is
>going to Jacob. I
>was told that even if
>Nicole used the money to
>pay for her rent since
>Jacob lives with her it
>would be considered legal.
What about her husband? whats the hell is he doing? living off your money too!? this really makes me mad. my sons dad dont do shit and here you are paying for ya baby mama and her husband to live!


>Well does that apply to
>her car payment and HER
>clothes and HER food also,
>because none of that was
>considered when determining my obligation.
> I have to pay
>rent, I have a car
>and I need to eat.
LAWYER!! NOW!


> Without these things I
>would die, and thus be
>unable to pay my child
>support or ever hope of
>spending time with Jacob.
>I love my son and
>want what is best for
>him like any father would,
>but not at the expense
>of my own life.
Child support should never leave you with nothing. they are supposed to take into consideration your expenses! What stste are you in? You need to get a Lawyer!


>I just want to be
>treated fairly. So far
>I have not been.
>Nicole's job offers Health insurance
>why is she not obligated
>to pay for it....or at
>least pay her 47% of
>it. What about daycare
>why am I paying the
>full cost? Also if
>while watching Jacob one day
>I met a woman and
>decided to get married to
>her and move to alaska....I
>would then be guilty of
>kidnapping

depends who has custody?

well what about the
>fact that she did exactly
>that and suffered no legal
>action what-so-ever.

thats your fault cuz you keep ya mouth shut!
im tellin you as a man you cannot keep ya mouth shut. Speak the hell up. I have seen this happen to a good handful of brothers who are doing the right thing!

I feel
>this system needs to be
>re-evaluated on the grounds that
>it is biased against fathers,
I agree!


>and only works to bring
>the MOTHER into a meaningful,
>carefree and LUCRATIVE relationship with
>the child. WIC? What
>happened to Men and Infant
>Children? Why am I
>a dead-beat father.....for not sending
>money to my sons GRANDMOTHER
>who was the only address
>I had when Nicole moved?!!?!?

it still would not have mattered if the courts dont have record it dont count so if the judge asked you that she fuckin playin head games!

> How do they figure
>I'll find a new job
>with no license.

see you gotta geta lawyer. You NEED a car for work it is necessity!

Just
>some things to ponder.
>
>I would like to add that
>Nicole told my son the
>guy she married was his
>father and that I am
>just a friend of hers.

WHAT THE FUCK????? and you havent said nothing??? do you have visitation? get a LAWYER i know you aint got money but there are ones who will not charge until the case is settled!
Stand up dammit!

> When I have to
>discipline him it makes me
>feel like an asshole, cause
>he's like "who the hell
>does this guy think he
>is....wait till I tell my
>dad"...you know. How can
>I tell a 5 year
>old that I am his
>dad and that his mom
>lied to him....I can't.....man,

Tell him look im ya dad! simple. trust me he'll start asking. why would he be alone with you with out her? why you do things for him? he gonna start asking her and he gonna figure it out children are not dumb!

Im sorry how could you sit by and let her do this? yes you let her where is ya fuckin back bone man? and she gonna tell the child you aint his dad? did you tell the judge that? they will ask the child outside the court if that is true.
How can you let them take food out ya mouth and you not say nothing? if you feel you aint got a voice get a voice for you!!!
Nicole did this cuz she knew she could....she knew you wasnt gonna put up a fight. And to go as far as deny the child the truth as to who is father is shows she knew she could get away with it, she knew you would never say nothing.
You better play her game and get ya money right and ya life right and the right to tell that child you his dad.

stop fuckin playin and get a fuckin lawyer hell start by sending out a copy of this post you put up. They will help you get money from her ass!!!

Im really pissed cuz many of guys i know are doing the right thing by there kids. My son will be 7 and his dad dont do shit!
then there are the women who can only get $70 dollars a month based off of the mans mcdonalds job. at least thats how it is in the commonwealth state of Pennsylvania.

GET A FUCKIN LAWYER!!!

My 1st instinct was for you to just shutup-wait hold on-because i hate it when men complain about the child support they have to pay. But in your circumstance there was a lot things u could have done to alleviate your situation. My 1st ?-when Nicole & Jacob disappeared, why did you not report it? When you were in the court room why did you not speak up? When your income increased $1/hr. why did u not report it (although i always doubt when "fathers" say that my income only this much & with good reason, too). I am guessing that u never had any relations w/ Jacob other than monetarily- or only for a brief while. You keep emphasizing that you love your son - well when he was gone why did you not try to find him? AND DON'T YOU EVER SAY THAT THE SYSTEM IS SLANTED TO THE MOTHERS - THE SYSTEM DOESN"T WORK PERIOD!! do you read the news? have you ever looked up child support cases? - it's fairly easy & i suggest you do so. I'm not trying to be hard on you-but you have got to learn to SPEAK UP-if u won't who will? It also appears as if u are somewhat ok or accepting of not having a relationship w/ ur son -why? no u don't have to answer that- that's pretty personal.
I hate when men whine my $$ its all gone. Well if you & Nicole were together - trust me most of your money would be going to your son- so this is no different. You talk about WIC-so you rather they receive welfare than for you to help a little more? Go to the WIC office ask them if they-chances are that as long as your son receives ANY child support he is eligible for WIC & i think Nicole would only to get if she has a child who is eligible. i think you have many issues- which is understandable. but i think most importantly- no i know-that u need to know your son & he needs to know you. don''t call him when he's 9 years old 'cuz its probably too late.

Actually, I see my son about every other day now. That is only cause her husband dumped her on the street with nothing. Now like I said I am her "best friend". When she moved I did report it, I made a mistake in saying that I did not. I did not say anything in court but went straight to domestic relations and told them. They said...and I quote "so what". I was with my son every day until he turned 3 and then she moved. She came back when he was 5 so I missed 2 years. Now I can see him again.

For all who asked I live in Maryland. From what I have seen on-line every state but MD has an equal rights for fathers type organization.

As far as my 1 dollar more per hour. This was not something I just told them they took my paystubs and could see plainly I now make 1 dollar more per hour.

It was suggested that I send the post to some lawyers, anyone got some links or specific lawyers in mind?

As far as me not saying to Jacob "I am your father" (darth vader memories) I did not and still do not know the full impact that this could have on Jacob, He never wants to leave when I am with him and that's cool!! But I don't know that telling him his mom lied to him is for me to do.......I could convince her to do so...or at least try first.

Backbone????? Well you just helped me find it........will get a lawyer tomorrow.

Will also come back ta fill y'all in....word?

>As far as me not saying
>to Jacob "I am your
>father" (darth vader memories) I
>did not and still do
>not know the full impact
>that this could have on
>Jacob, He never wants to
>leave when I am with
>him and that's cool!! But
>I don't know that telling
>him his mom lied to
>him is for me to
>do.......I could convince her to
>do so...or at least try
>first.

that you even have to think about that.

I don't even know where to begin with that one...but it gives women a bad name...


~~~SPITFIRE: 6/28/01~~~
carameldom@hotmail.com
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Bmore-Okayplayers

"The entire world is being driven insane by this single phrase: "My religion alone is true." ...Who can make a system from Divine Mystery? But if any sincere practitioner, within whatever culture or religion, prays and meditates with great devotion & committment to Truth alone, Your Grace will flood his mind and heart..." ~~Ramakrishna

"Ignorance: The Verbal Airborne Disease" (c) my friend Ty

~~~~
http://omidele.blogspot.com/
http://rahareiki.tumblr.com/
http://seatofbliss.blogspot.com/

sorry- i meant to say that as long as jacod receives child support -he in all likelihood would not be eligible for WIC. & as llong as Nicole is an able body-& her son is not eligible than she couldn't receive WIC either.

I think--maybe I heard this wrong--that all children under a certain age (5? 6?) are eligible for WIC in Maryland. And I also believe that the income boundaries are pretty liberal.

Somebody help me out...


~~~SPITFIRE: 6/28/01~~~
carameldom@hotmail.com
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Bmore-Okayplayers

"The entire world is being driven insane by this single phrase: "My religion alone is true." ...Who can make a system from Divine Mystery? But if any sincere practitioner, within whatever culture or religion, prays and meditates with great devotion & committment to Truth alone, Your Grace will flood his mind and heart..." ~~Ramakrishna

"Ignorance: The Verbal Airborne Disease" (c) my friend Ty

"cats pop champagne/over misery and pain/like slaves on the ship/talkin 'bout/who got the flyest chains" ~~Talib Kweli

~~~~
http://omidele.blogspot.com/
http://rahareiki.tumblr.com/
http://seatofbliss.blogspot.com/

I'm in PA - I don't think all children are eligible. that doesn't make sense. What about if I make a decent amount of $$. It's a supplement-so i don't see how all kids 5-6 y.o would be eligible? u may be right- i think we're the only state that has a gerald miscovich.

She would know what the deal is here.



~~~SPITFIRE: 6/28/01~~~
carameldom@hotmail.com
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Bmore-Okayplayers

"The entire world is being driven insane by this single phrase: "My religion alone is true." ...Who can make a system from Divine Mystery? But if any sincere practitioner, within whatever culture or religion, prays and meditates with great devotion & committment to Truth alone, Your Grace will flood his mind and heart..." ~~Ramakrishna

"Ignorance: The Verbal Airborne Disease" (c) my friend Ty

"cats pop champagne/over misery and pain/like slaves on the ship/talkin 'bout/who got the flyest chains" ~~Talib Kweli

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http://omidele.blogspot.com/
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http://seatofbliss.blogspot.com/

that's quite alright. its not that important unless ur doin it for the poster's sake.

>man, if
>I knew having a child
>was going to make me
>the devil I would have
>though twice.........

I know how you must be feeling, but the thing you need to do is take action. Why can't you find legal assistance (free), I'm sure you can call somewhere or even try law offices that do pro-bono jobs. I don't think the system is against MEN but against who they think is the "bad guy". If she has her job and this, so called dad in his life, then he should adopt him and let you live your life. Or you should take her to court, get custody, and make her ass pay child support, you can do that you know. Maybe they think your making more then you are. Make sure you clear things up, go talk to the judge that handled your case. Do something! If you don't then she according to law of man and human moral is getting everything from you she deserves.

If she keeps your child all the time, drives him around, takes him to school, feeds him, clothes him, keeps a roof over his head, and is raising him to be a strong human being then YES she should be able to spend your childs money on rent, car note...etc... Parenthood is tough but full of joy. I don't think it fair that you should be left homeless in the process but that's where you have to take action. Why should you be comfortable in a nice crib with a fat ride and she's on the buss with your son (see this is how we look at things). What you have, your kid should have and she is in the long run helping because you can't support a child on 500 a month. Who do you think gets him all the things your money can't afford. An extra pair of shoes, candy at the store, field trips, weekend outtings, prescriptions or dental visits your medical doesn't cover. Think about everything before you get upset for helping take care of your child. I couldn't do anything on 500 a month, that's childcare for me!

Make sure if you can't talk to her and make her see the injustice you talk to someone who will. I praise you for trying to be a part of his life in such a difficult situation. I get no child support from Thought on our son and he makes, well, we won't get into that. All I can tell you is take action, its the only way to be able to complain and say you tried everything you could. Two people concieve a child, make yourself count right.---peace

That's messed up. A good friend of mine is in a sitation silimiar to yours. I didn't know anything about child support except for what I saw on TV until I met my friend. TV always talks about "dead-beat dads," but now I know the system is so messed up against the fathers. His wages were garneshed even though he's paid on time, can't claim his kid on his taxes, she only works PT (the child is 11) and they upped the amount he has to pay even though his income is the same. Couldn't get custody. He said the mother has almost be a crack head before that happened. He was tellin me how he could understand how some men are like, fuck it, b/c even in his situation were he's doing what he's supposed to, he's still getting shitted on by the courts.