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Lobby Okay Activist Archives topic #15536

Subject: "Blacks and adoption" This topic is locked.
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LordLadypharr
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3467 posts
Tue May-01-01 06:08 AM

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"Blacks and adoption"


  

          

I have come to find that a lot of black floks complain about the system being filled with unwanted black children.
Yet few do any thing about it.
why do you think blacks have a fear of adoption???
but when whites adopt or try to adopt black children the same blacks thow a fit...
this is what i see share your vision...




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"Hard knock life :This one is for everybody,This one right here,You can call it THE GHETTO ANTHEM,Because This one is for the people,Everybody who ever has been though any type of shit in thir life can any hard shit that's what hard knock life life is about,If you notice the chorus,They're not singing like thir sad,Their singing like "Yo it's a hard knock life"Just letting people know.It's a beautiful thing deal with it."-Shawn Carter
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Topic Outline
Subject Author Message Date ID
I can't speak for a lot of
May 01st 2001
1
exactly...
May 01st 2001
2
i feel as tho children should be placed...
May 01st 2001
3
is it better
May 01st 2001
4
u can use "moot" w/me...
May 01st 2001
5
Preserving Blackness & Fear of Being Left Behind
May 01st 2001
6
RE: Preserving Blackness & Fear of Being Left Behind
May 01st 2001
7
RE: Preserving Blackness & Fear of Being Left Behind
May 01st 2001
8
      RE: Preserving Blackness & Fear of Being Left Behind
May 02nd 2001
9

Shelly
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15886 posts
Tue May-01-01 06:15 AM

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1. " I can't speak for a lot of"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

blacks , so I'll speak for myself. I don't object to anyone adopting black children, if they are going to be placed in a warm and loving home, I'm for it.

Shit happens

  

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mcbadfeet
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1066 posts
Tue May-01-01 06:20 AM

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2. "exactly..."
In response to Reply # 0


          

this shouldn't even be an issue and some people still argue. no adoption agency will place a black child with white adoptive parents if a qualified black family is available. so when people complain about the white parents not being able to give black children a sense of themselves...shut up right there and open your home.
________________________________________
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morpheme
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94867 posts
Tue May-01-01 06:24 AM

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3. "i feel as tho children should be placed..."
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

where they are:
wanted
expected
& prepared for

ideally yes...children should be in the most rewardin of environments...culturally...financially...& so forth...but children languishin in a system of open & shut doors...no OPPORTUNITY to learn of themselves or anything/one else...that's what pains me...a child does not necessarily find their "way" amongst ppl who just so happen to share their melanin

it takes all kinds to make the world go round...& many blk ppl need to attest to the fact that blk ppl raised by blk parents in blk areas make THEM feel better & don't threaten the status quo...see...we take issue when blk children are not raised in predominantly blk areas...{completely blk for some}...but what is this a TRUE issue of???...classism???...or race???...we forget the stances we took in tryin to protect these children's cultural identities when we encounter them in college or in the work place...they're no longer "ours"...but transform into "thems"...truth be told...the "type" of blk ppl we feel as tho these transracially adopted children will develop into can be rear'd in blk homes in certain neighborhoods or w/a certain level of financial security...{blk ppl raise "out of touch" blk children who have identity issues as well}

my bottomline???

i would like to see blk children raised WELL in blk homes

my bottom-bottomline???

i want all children to have a chance at a homelife...to experience livin in an environment of love & acceptance & to develop their characters thru all resources at their bequethal...even if on a small scale






































sister sisters
i know u're watching me
there are alot of {games} reachin for u constantly
when u think u're grown
u enter the unknown
baby
check...yo'self
brace...yo'self
protect...yo'self
face...yo'self

~mayfield

_____________
Kamikaze Genes
____________♌♀
goddess; small g.

  

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k_orr
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80197 posts
Tue May-01-01 06:55 AM

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4. "is it better"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

to be raised by the state or raised by a white family?

The issues is very debateable. (I would say moot, but there are no other word fetishists here)

peace
k. orr

http://breddanansi.tumblr.com/

  

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morpheme
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94867 posts
Tue May-01-01 07:15 AM

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5. "u can use "moot" w/me..."
In response to Reply # 4


  

          

i have...on this site in fact






























sister sisters
i know u're watching me
there are alot of {games} reachin for u constantly
when u think u're grown
u enter the unknown
baby
check...yo'self
brace...yo'self
protect...yo'self
face...yo'self

~mayfield

_____________
Kamikaze Genes
____________♌♀
goddess; small g.

  

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M2
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10072 posts
Tue May-01-01 07:50 AM

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6. "Preserving Blackness & Fear of Being Left Behind"
In response to Reply # 0


          


That's what this issue is all about isn't it? The need to Preserve our Blackness, (or for some people our Afrikaness) and not let members of our community get "whitened up" or leave us behind.

We don't want Black kids to be adopted by Whites because they might somehow impart "Whiteness" onto these kids and not raise them as "Black" as we would like. So we'd rather leave them in suspect foster homes and as ward's of the state, and send people who could love this children to foreign countries like China, Korea and Vietnam to adopt children in need. We're afraid of meeting this child as an adult in college or in the workplace, and discovering that he/she isn't as "Black" or as "Down" as we would like.

God forbid they act in a perceived "white manner" AND live in the suburbs(Since that's who is usually adopting these kids, white suburbanites), they'll have left us completely behind. Not share our opinions, attitudes, culture and economic background....that is so key to being "Black".

Coming up, My mom was criticized for raising us in a suburban environment. So what if it was safe, so what if there was little crime, so what if I went to a school where going to college was pounded into me from Kindergarten until I graduated, (See Why Don't Black Kids go to College) so what if I was raised an environment that wouldn't make college a culture shock and make it difficult for me to finish. So what if I lived in an environment where living to see your 18th Birthday, going to college, getting a degree, getting a good job, buying a house and being able to provide for one's family was the norm.

I'm not saying that all Black Communities are bad, but they're not all good either, and just being around Black people doesn't guarantee someone will have a sound identity of self and/or that it's a better environment.

The point I'm trying to make, is that people need to get past these slave era insecurities that make them feel someone has "left the race" just because they're not like them. Furthermore, they need to look past "preserving someone's Blackness" for their own selfish reasons, IMHO the cries of "Black Kids should only be raised by Black Parents" "Damn the Professional and Middle Class Black who left the inner cities in the 70s" "Only raise your children in a predominantly Black Environment" are VERY selfish....to me they're really just cries of being left behind, wanting to preserve a homegenus Black race....and an irrational fear that one can lose one's Blackness.

I could've sworn that my skin color and Heritage made me Black, not where I live, how I dress, who adopted me, where I work and any other number of superficial things.

That being said, this issue shouldn't even be discussed and it pisses me off that it is.

We have Unwanted Black Children, more then can probably be adopted by Black people, particularly when you consider that most people have all the children they can handle/want AND that a lot of Black families/folks end up raising the child of a relative ANYWAY. There is a phenomenon of children being raised by their extended families, that makes adoption even MORE difficult in the Black community.

The things a child needs the most are: #1. To simply be wanted #2. To be loved #3. To be raised in a loving, secure, stable environment that can give him "some" if not all of the tools they need to succeed in life. We also know that children being raised in group homes, foster care and that get passed around through various government agencies aren't usually well cared for, don't live happy lives and may have problems with drugs and crime that may follow them for most of their adult life. This is not a situation where allowing the government to raise the child, is anyway shape or form a good idea. Shoot, just ask the child what s/he thinks about the situation.

So where are we? We have unwanted Black children, we have a Black Community that probably can't adopt them all, we have White people willing to take these kids into their homes and love them.

I think the answer to this problem is obvious. We shouldn't even be discussing this, we should be discussing how to make sure that there are NO unwanted Black children...period.

I think people need to get off of their self righteous high horse and stop striving for an objective/situation that isn't neccessarily possible AND is hurting people. It's nice to say that Black children should only be adopted by Blacks, but in practice it isn't working...so we need to abandon that ideal.....and focus on what CAN work in the REAL world.

I don't understand how people can pontificate about how Black Families should only Adopt Black children, when they're children who aren't being adopted and probably won't be unless a White family does.....AND when the Black community may not be capable of adopting all these children. OR when some of these White Families may provide, stabler, safer, more financial sound environments...which may result in more of these kids going to college, having good careers and being able to create safe, secure, financially sound environments of their own.

Put it another way, imagine this:

You're 7 years old and your mom and Dad died 4 years ago..your grandmother raised you for two years and then she passed. You have no surviving relatives, so there you sit, in some sort of home for orphaned children. You don't have a room to call your own, any toys to call your own, or a home that is a familiar, safe place, (think about how comforting it is to come home, now imagine not having that) you've been getting passed around for 2 years now: Foster Homes, Oprhanages, Various Agencies, etc. Stability is as foreign a concept as Differential Equations to your 7 year old mind.

What you wouldn't give to have someone to call Mom, someone to call Dad...someone to pick you up when you fall off your bike and hurt yourself, someone to play catch with you in the backyard, someone to tuck you in and read you a story at night, SOMEONE TO LOVE YOU and teach you the things you need to learn to succeed in life.

But you can't have that, because some self righteous asshole decided that a White family couldn't adopt you.....so there you sit....waiting. That family was so nice, they really wanted you, but the agency said now.....only a Black family...but it turned out the Black family didn't qualify....so there you sit.....but hey, you're the lucky one.....you're still young and and at least a Black family showed some interest in you.


No one has shown any interest for little Jamal crying in the corner because he misses his Mom and Dad.


So I ask you, why are we having this conversation when children, sweet, innocent children are in this situation?! Are you ideals so important that these kids should suffer before they get adopted by Whites?

What about if the White person can provide a better home life, in terms of finances and equiping the kid to go to college and do something with his life? Is a White professional who will probably raise a Black professional better then the Black janitor who will probably raise another Janitor....a better choice?

I wonder what the kid will if you could show him his future of poverty compared to his life as a college graduate who pays his bills, provides a nice home for his family and is able to make a difference in the world if s/he so chooses.




Peace,





M2

The Blog: http://www.analyticalwealth.com/

An assassin’s life is never easy. Still, it beats being an assassin’s target.

Enjoy your money, but live below your means, lest you become a 70-yr old Wal-Mart Greeter.

  

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Sudani
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Tue May-01-01 10:14 PM

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7. "RE: Preserving Blackness & Fear of Being Left Behind"
In response to Reply # 6


  

          

Once upon a time in the suburbs where it was safe and full of good eduction a little 4 year old girl was called "nigger".

Once upon a time a litte girl moved to the suburbs where it was safe and full of good education a little 10 year old girl was called "nigger, nigger, nigger!".

What am I getting at? I am getting at the point that it is NOT that black people do NOT try, it is that some times they get thier blasted heads bitten off, just as they suspected. It does not mean that everyone with white skin bad and that they don't deserve to be judge by thier own actions and not someone elses actions. What it does mean is that everyone has thier own issues. If I get bitten by a dog that looks like _____ then I will be less likely to trust that type of dog. It is human instinct to be hesitant in approaching that which has harmed you numerous times. Wether or not you feel that black people should protest the adoption of black children to white parents is not as important as the very little awareness of this issue in the black community.

  

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Sudani
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Tue May-01-01 10:21 PM

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8. "RE: Preserving Blackness & Fear of Being Left Behind"
In response to Reply # 6


  

          

By the way.....

There are PLENTY of janitors who have raised ambitious black children who COMPLETE thier education. That statement about the janitor just shows how narrow minded and siddidy people can be when looking at thier own people as if they are INFERIOR. Very insulting.


  

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M2
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Wed May-02-01 07:21 AM

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9. "RE: Preserving Blackness & Fear of Being Left Behind"
In response to Reply # 8


          

I think you missed the point of my comment about the Janitor. I wasn't calling a Janitor inherently inferior because of his job, income or race. Or saying that the white professional was better because of his job, income or race.

I'm talking about tools and what's best for the child. Children raised by professionals (regardless of race) are more likely to have a economically stable home environment, a safer home and neighboorhood environment and are more likely to attend college. This is not to say that the Janitor won't provide a good home or send his kid to college, but the kid has a better show with the professional.

These are kids who've been handed a bad hand by life, so I think it's imperative to put them in homes that will have the best chance of equipping them with the tools they need to succeed.

As for being called Nigger in the suburbs, let me tell you a story:

13 year old Boy (Me) was called Nigger by a classmate "Nigger reach your potential and put away my lunch Tray" I refused and received a Black eye and a Bloody nose for my troubles. The next day as I sit eating my lunch with the right left side of my face swollen.....he does it again. I thought for a second: "I'm barely over 5' tall and weight about 70 lbs, he's about 5'8" tall and probably weights twice what I do....hmm" So I picked up his lunch tray, and cracked him the face with it a few times.

He left me alone after that. Unfortunately for him though, I was stronger then him by high school and held a grudge }>

I got called Nigger a few other times, I dealt with it and moved on. Went back to my classes which stressed college EVERY DAY, went back to my teachers who told me I should take the SAT as Freshman, so that by the time Jr. year came around, I would be ready to crush that thing. Went to see my Guidance counselors who didn't really ask my opinion on what classes I wanted, they just said "M2 you need these to get into college, so this is what you're taking"

If you ask me, being called Nigger is insignificant next to good schools, a safe home and not worrying about having to sell drugs to survive, making it to your 18th birthday or not having good role models to help you succeed.

Besides, with all the White Liberal Guilt in the public School system, it's damn near impossible get in trouble for whupping a kids ass cuz he called you a nigger. }>


Peace,




M2





The Blog: http://www.analyticalwealth.com/

An assassin’s life is never easy. Still, it beats being an assassin’s target.

Enjoy your money, but live below your means, lest you become a 70-yr old Wal-Mart Greeter.

  

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