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The homie Concrete Charlie seems to think my rants have grown to be to lengthy…so im gonna be straight and to the point and no mentions of the Falcons…I’m making a sacrifice…I promise to keep it under seven Word,doc pages…and with all the double spacing that’s really like two pages! So, Shut your mouth, Pavement Chuckie!
Remember the Rules, Niggas…
No calling me the worst person in the world after its over!…You have to almost pretend im delivering this message to in your local improv comedy club…
Yeah nigga pretend that Jeff Ross, or Chris Rock or Bignick or some asshole like that just magically became a light skinned black man who was really, really, really, really crazy in a good way…
CMON
Jordan went to the finals six times…and won finals MVP every single time.
Duncan is three outta four…and that was only because Boobie Gibson and Damon Jones couldn’t keep Tony Parker outta the lane for entire games!
Shaq…what like three outta six?
Magic?
Bird?
Hakeem?
CMON…Willie is fucking O for Five in finals MVP chances….
That’s indefensible for the supposed greatest player since Mike…
If Mike was playing Willie in the finals who would your money be on?
Magic had fucking 42 and 17 and 7 or some shit playing center as a fucking rookie…
I told you niggas…Pippenomics is a zero sum game…
Dog, lakers fans shouldn’t even put the nigga in Magic class…
You niggas don’t get how Shaq used to get free buckets for Willie… I’m talking about lakers down five and shaq gets a free dunk by running straight into the lowest of low block for a fucking and 1 on someone like scott pollard or some other early 2000s seven foot tall douchebag. Plus, even though willie supposedly has first team defense Rick fox was those teams grittiest, best perimeter defender. Truthiness..I aint lying.. Plus they had Horry, Fisher, even Glen Rice and old ass Brian shaw hitting clutch fucking threes on cue!
CMON
PLUS, THERES LIKE AN EIGHTY PERCENT CHANCE THAT TIM DONAGHY, JOE FORTE AND RONNIE NUNN AND FUCKING CHILDHOOD LAKERFAN, DICK BAVETTA WERE CHEATING FOR THEM TOO!..
The details will come out in the coming years but just remember that money man or 311rules or whoever that fucking guy is, was exposing the conspiracy theory bullshit on these same boards years ago son…
Maybe willie needs to grow back that black Euro Jew Fro he used to rock…maybe that’ll win him some more titles…
AI coulda won titles playing with THAT Shaq man. Shit D. Wade won one playing with THIS shaq …CMON Funny how people always use FG percentage as the difference between him an AI. Yet, when it counts most..nobodys shocked when willie shoots for 6-20s
Paul Peirce prolly coulda won some chips with THAT Shaq
CMON, Are Rip City, Mr. Big Shot, P squared and Jesus Shuttlesworth to great for you guy’s savior?
But when a team play good team defense and don’t foul his ass…willie magically turns into a subpar field goal shooter and shoots way, way, way, way, way to many jumpers and loses…
And cmon with the Blame it on Lamar and Pau. I still got Trey Songz number in my phone. Son, we could make a remix to “Smush” and pick a new scapegoat to mask willie’s shortcomings if that’s what you guys want.
I hate to digress but…cmon…shit is good right now…everything is cool…I never felt better at any point in my life…even My karaoke Learn to fly is “spot on” like one of chef Gordan Ramsey’s Rissotos , Nigga…lol
CMON…so good, that the other day I wondered to myself…
Was Dave Grohl better than Hexum the Great?
Cause Nigga, by the time I get to “Flyyyyy with me, I can’t quite make it aloneeeeee!” its almost a religious experience for me.
LOL
But Then I came back to my senses…and David Grohl makes a lot of fucking same song they’re good, I love them but he’s always either ranting real fast and yelling or he singing soft…the over/under on Dave’s total number of Stylees is like four or five son!
Meanwhile, Since 1995’ I have documented somewhere in the range of Eighty different stylees for Hexum!
Nix Hex Stylee. Omaha Stylee. Down Stylee. Full Ride Stylee Amber Stylee. Come Original Stylee…Too many son! LOL
I mean cmon…Hexum is an Omaha White Rapper, A White Rastaman and a traditional Southern California rock singer in one physical essense. The holy trinity, in one body…
CMON…
Also, If you would like to me to explain why Redman is my favorite rapper. Son, see most people listen to Redman and can’t figure what the fuck he is talking about so they basically ignore all the talent he has as a rapper. But think about it like this though. In my eyes Redman calls himself redman to make fun of the devil. And even zeno will agree that the devil is always depicted as being red. So, in my mind redman has always been the battle rapper that battles the devil. So rap superstar Genius reggie noble should get his fucking credit…
Dog, there is no clear reason why I spent so many years. Studying the rhymes of redman like they were fucking Plato, or Saukrates….LOL sike Socrates. Or some old as biblical scroll that was left over from centuries ago. But I did…studied, listened to every word or every verse. For almost fifteen years.
When I first seen that Redman and Method Man had a song called Fire Inna Hole..I was scared as shit son…
Son, That fucking “Gun down at sundown, run now from the buck sound, touchdown”
Cause all those explosive sounds in the background of the beat were sounding too loud, son no bullshit.. son
Almost made me lose it son! I was freaking out the first time I heard that son!..LOL
I never told nobody that while we was at Howard.
But CMON
That’s enough of the dark side of my brain...LOL
Damn, how great would it be if we had a guy on the earth who spent all of his entire real life battling the Devil.
What would you call that guy?
LMAO
Speaking of karaoke…dog, I never realized how great of a song the Prentenders “Brass in Pocket” is…
Dog, if you ever have a bad week or your depressed…just hit up your local bar…roll a blunt of the sour diesel and sing brass in pocket…
Singing “Im special, so special” in a room full of sexy drunk Beckys is like the greatest psychological booster ever…
Call me crazy if you want but I can live off the psychological boost of a single Brass in Pocket performance for weeks at a time…
Shit, man maybe willie should sing it before NBA finals games!
Instead of doing Phil Jackson’s Zen Yoga…Get willie on that Karoake machine in the locker roon and maybe just maybe he wouldn’t quit In game sevens against Steve Nash and Stat, get dogged by Rip and Chauncey, or have Paul Peirce show him what First team all NBA defense really looks like when it counts…
The other day I was getting my Natalie Inbruglia on in the bar….Niggas and Beckys was really feeling me…on the part…where I was like “Hurricane, Pull me outta the past, Let me in to today!, Hurricane”
Funniest part about that whole karaoke night was the fact that I saw one of Michael Vick’s Pitbulls on the way out of the club…it was mad as shit...son…It was gonna fuck me up if I wasn’t so high, son!
The Pitbull said three words…Stop, No and Don’t
I said “bitch!”
LOL
Oklakerniggas and willie apologists worldwide…I have one request…Dog
This summer in Fiba, when willie is killing tall Mexicans and the Journeyman Yugoslavian swingman Vlad Smusherovic…DON’T HYPE HIM…
I don’t care if willie wins eight gold medals…
If willie started running track became the worlds fastest man…DON’T HYPE HIM
If willie used his strong black euro soccer thighs and became a Pommel Horse legend in fucking gymastics.. I mean nigga… even If willie was sticking all his fucking landings on dismounts! DON’T HYPE HIM.
I willie tucks that peanut head into a swimcap and beats Michael phelps in the 100m freestyle…
DON’T HYPE HIM
Also, willie needed to win this one…If willie can’t beat bostons big three…
Wait till he sees how good Aldridge, Roy and Oden are gonna be!
Its almost a sure thing that willie will be shooting 6-20s with Greg Oden under the basket…
Plus, The best PF ever and The Spurs are always the favorites in odd years. And Boston will be good again next year, too. Don’t forget Bron, CP3 and lightskin savior Deron will be in the mix too.
Sorry will…no more titles!
Fuck it im done…
Sincerely,
The Falcons lover, willie hater, Zeno’s new best Friend, Becky lover, Epic Ranter and world’s most peaceful, loving clinically certified maniac…
The Money Man
PS…. Viva el Mateo Ryan! El six five Fuegotossar vamos a inspirar los ninyos de Chesnut Hill, Boston, para los Atlanta Falcones. El Blanco Savior Ryan, Vamos a throwar muchos pelotas to el pussyslayer Roddy White y el Segundo Ano Conquistador Laurent Robinson. Fuck Miguel Vick! ….Y el formar chargers L.T. backup y Jerious break muchos Longo’s respuestas para TD. Y Managar Mike Smith vamos a bringar back El Glanvilian Intenseyo. Y por que el Meangelo es en Los Angeles, el Nuevo Jamal Anderson, Y Miguel Boley Y Juan Abraham van a wreckar havoc en el NFC South en las sabados. Reggie Smusher Y Drew Brees , con la caca stain exacto de Enrique Inglesias en es face. Y Stevie Smitty Y muey old Jeff Garcia no stando oppurtuno! Y Yo vamos el prayar on los Houstonic Y los Chevis Jacksonian respuestas! Legendario Businesshombre senor Athur Black vamos a be muey happy, Negro…
CMON…I really hope Fuegotossar means flamethrower and I’m not just really high…LMAO…plus I worked Longo’s in there…LOL Frank. …seriously , Frankie …CMON If fucking respuestas doesn’t mean plays ima lose it son! All bets are off, son!
I did promise to not mention the birds…but you niggas didn’t say I couldn’t switch languages on you niggas. LOL
I’m in the mental and physical zone right now…I could write of book of this shit. Seriously, Barry Obama, Chris Brown, Mike Beasley and Deron Williams have truly opened my eyes to the shear limitless potential of Light skinned black men in America in 2008.
CMON Ladies…Sistas, Beckys, Asains and Latinas…
Wesley Snipes, Denzel, Omar Epps. Edris Elba, Tyrese, Tyson Beckford, Cheese Eyes, Lil Wayne and Michael Vick haven’t done shit for your ass!…
The only Willie I fuck with is Big Willie, Will Smith.
Will smith is a better actor/Rapper that Willie Winguy is Basketball/Rapper. I mean cmon son don’t make me go on youtube and pull up Willie and Tyra at that Ahmad Rashad stay in school jam. That was the worst “Crimonology” beatbox freestyle ever…willie. Meanwhile, I’m 4.0 student of East Coast Nigganomics…You were overseas.. nigga, cmon I was out here with Rayful Edmond and Michael Fray Salters you were somewhere in europe worshiping Mike D’Antoni son..
LOL..
. Cmon, will, you see that’s what makes us different will. You are basically a black Euro. See the best rappers are generally raised as children of “East Coast Nigganomics” I often find it ironic that you chose to rock over a Ghostface instrumental but I guess you do like to get all “Ghost” during stretches of NBA finals games. So maybe that does make sense after all, will.
Dog, when ghost was like “where’s the cat from, think he from New Jerusalem’ I felt that nigga..
Could it be that Ghostface, SP the Ghost and them niggas are better preachers than TD Jakes, Joel Olsten and even the pope son.
But yeah ladies…Only dark skinned man who mighta ever did something for you ladies might be Deion Sanders…
And even I, possibly Deion’s biggest fanboy, …even I must admit that I used to rub cocoa butter on Primetime’s face on my posters to make him lighter as a kid… Seriously, at twelve years old i thought I was a genius when I saw a day or two later how well that coco butter had dried on Prime’s face. Nigga, prime was looking like Will Smith in Hitch , son…No bullshit. Don’t blame me, Ladies…I just wanted to see my reflection in my Idols face…
Any Volunteers to go see Hancock with me?
that shit gone be the best movie ever son
How could one superhero cornerback/baseball player/entertainer inspire so much fandom of a traditionally bad NFL franchise that he didn’t even win championships with?
Magic of Sports, nigga
CMON
But Ladies …seriously all I’m saying is
Roll with the winners!
Yes we can!
CMON
Also, have any you ever wondered to yourself how Michael Vick fought dogs for all those years…but as soon as the money man placed the huge moral burden of playing his best to bring hope to the children of Blacksburg. The nigga never even got the chance to win that superbowl for the children?
All because he kilt a few of the most vicious dogs on the planet?
Call me crazy but I never seen a horse chew somebody face off, and rich white businessman euthenize Thousands of Horses all the time in the name of the big business of horse racing?
But Niggas smoking weed a placing a few bets on a fucking dog face chew off, is the worst thing a human could ever do!
CMON
You’re hypocrisy is shining thru again lady America.
Dick Cheney is prolly hunting Ducks right now son!
Fuck it im done for real.
I love everyone in this world. Hating on willie’s game just gives me a release that I can’t get in real life. That is the Magical power of Sports. Its like the only thing in the world where hating Is okay..God is somewhere smiling when you hate in sports. When I say ‘Fuck the Reggie Smusher”….I don’t really mean it…In fact In “real” life I want game pointers from the Smusher and I want my suits to fit like his. This nigga’s the fucking man son! If reggie smusher himself played for the falcons imagine how much I’d hype this nigga! If the falcons had drafted the smusher I would have some ill ass nickname for him. I would prolly call him…”The R.B.” cmon son how great is that….even the smusher is really the R.B. for Reggie Bush. He would be the perfect Running Back!.
Ghost: Son, money man you shoulda kept your fucking mouth shut. Now the Smusher is gonna be killing us on Sundays.
Damn, s He wouldn’t be the smusher I know that much. The smusher himself might be able to teach me all the pointers and tricks on how to pull myself a dreamy So Cal Socialite Becky.
Seriously, Cause if I get within five feet of the Hills’ Lauren Conrad. I’m pulling out a ring, nigga! It’s a wrap, ladies,…you’ll have missed your chance...and new our Reality show will be called “Money Beach” CMON
You niggas would be watching MTV marathons of me and my boo, L.C. drinking poolside cocktails with Bombastic and Ryan M.
LMAO
And I bet I own more Kobe Bryant Sneakers than most of you oklakerniggas combined. Thanks, Kobe Bryant for giving me that release for all these years. You are one of the greatest basketball players ever. You’re the Incomparable Scorer. Willie, you’re better at Incomparable Scoring than The Incomparable Dogfighter was at Incomparable Quarterbacking….LOL. so I’ll give you that huge compliment, will…but seriously nigga don’t push it will. Will, you see I have not so much of a hate for you as I just have a hate for how much people hype you in relation to other superstars….
CMON…I mean seriously Blowhards…you guys have had shitty weekly write-ups for like two years straight…Why would you let all this of what Shells likes to call “Good Crazy” go to waste? Do you know how many OKS posting Stylees there are in a maniac’s brain?
…dog, fellas please allow me to live out my lifelong dream of winning money from Zeno…
If you wanted to have a perfect weekend this weekend. I would just get that blunt...rent the “Truman” show and The Big Lebowski Don’t get Drunk. Then listen to all three of the NERD albums real closely…you know get a little High and Crazy, son.
The saddest part about the whole thing is that of all of you that are reading this…only prolly bombastic will actually get all those things done this weekend…
And that’s because me and bombastic share a magical bond from across a whole country as Black man and a white male. But I know he feels me.
See bombastic is part of my family…all my real family does is get really scarred of me, a call the police on me for no reason, and call me crazy…
Fuck it im promise its over this time….
CMON
Theres like 100% percent chance that this is the best post ever on OKP. Not just OKS.
Just remember this went down….years down the line.
Believe it nigga.
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