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Most people who watch basketball have a favorite player. A lot of people pick players who are really good and popular, like Kobe Peanut Bryant or LeRobot James. Sometimes, people pick the best players of as the same ethnicity as them (I see you Yao Ming and J.J. Redick).
Fuck that.
There is one player who symbolizes what anyone who's ever played basketball wishes they could do. This man truly lives the American dream, who represents the Everyman who shoots buckets in the driveway with Pops and their multiracial group of friends until Mom comes to the door to tell you that dinner is ready.
This man is Eddie House.
From the age of whenever you can remember until your knees blow out, people, the media, your coaches, your inner conscience, tell you to play the right way. To share the ball. To be a good teammate. Most of us who have ever played ball have enough common sense to share the ball and not chuck it every single time you think you're open.
Eddie House says fuck common sense, and FUCK YOUR CONSCIENCE.
Eddie House says you can go 15 for 15. That is, 15 touches, 15 shots. In 4 minutes.
Eddie House says you can chuck it within 5 seconds of crossing halfcourt every single time down the court.
Everyone of us wants to run down the court and chuck it as soon as we touch it. Eddie House actually does it. Eddie House has done it so well he gets paid millions of dollars to do it. Not because Eddie House is a particularly good basketball player, but because Eddie House don't give a fuck.
Because of Eddie House, I now have the confidence to chuck it from anywhere on the court, at anytime, whenever I feel like it. Because of Eddie House, I can own 4 laptops and not even use 3 of them, because if Eddie House don't give a fuck, I don't give a fuck.
Keep On Chuckin', Eddie, Keep On Chuckin'
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