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Subject: "Until now" Previous topic | Next topic
marijane
Member since Feb 26th 2004
13093 posts
Fri Sep-23-05 11:50 AM

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"Until now"


  

          

Growing up
Barbie dolls were my fancy
Any color
it didn't matter,
it was the fantasy of the image
that i liked
I had always wanted to be fine
not precocious,
but I was an oustandingly fashionable child
tissue in t-shirt and all
until...

One early fifth grade morning
perk
folds of skin and puffy flesh
raise rolling hills below eye level
only a tiny chocolate chip of a nipple
yet still way too early
Nana got hers at 10
Mommy was only 9
I am eleven and still not appeased
At least no one else notices
until...

It seems quarterly season changes
and new teachers brought all sorts
of unexpected surprises with the new school year
the roundness of my "top heavy" curves
turned from hills to prominent peaks
their presence, apparent
even in oversized sweaters and under thick silver tape
I didn't want to be Barbie anymore
I was even cursed with a first name starting with a "B"
Big Boobed Banakayi
was such an easy joke that it became a cliche
The parents' whispers turned to blatant demands
"Don't play with that girl
you see how she looks?
like a grown woman
you don't want to be FAST like her do you?"
even before the concept of sexual provocation entered my mind.
This all said to someone who feared
elongated looks could be impregnating .
until...

seventh grade cheerleading
attracted
eigth
ninth
tenth through twelfth
even grown admirers
and
being born banakayi blessed with Barbie boobs
still wasn't comfortable
but it was cool
boys standing in line to view my cleavage
popular "flat chested" girls
needed well endowed bate
until...

high school
when my lower body began to catch up
but not quite
cause they still wouldn't stop growing
extending past my view of my feet
making my hourglass look as if it should topple
with any small wind gust
becoming abnormally big
triple D and counting
no longer cool
or mysteriously intruiging
having they're own sex life.
No more cheerleading.
I couldn't fit the vest.
until..

Womanhood
presented cleavege as a welcomed accessory
blessed me with wide hips
and a reletively small waist
gave me confidence to surpass Barbie
became a catalyst for poetic reflection
ignited my beauty
and freed me from premature promiscuity
until...

now


Thanx for listening ya'll until I get them cut off (whenever they stop growing) I'm 22. this will be my song. keep shining!

_____________________________________
WITH CUZ (STACEY) GONE, I'LL NEVER REALLY BE HERE AGAIN

I swear I'm a marry an OKP


Nakia Genevieve are my middle names... Not my attempt to morph Phenom with Novembersgift... But...

  

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Topic Outline
Subject Author Message Date ID
RE: Until now
Sep 23rd 2005
1
RE: Until now
Sep 23rd 2005
2
thanx for noticing guys
Sep 23rd 2005
3
Big Boobed Banakayi -- *chuckles*
Sep 23rd 2005
4
yes Photo..
Sep 23rd 2005
5
      I'm surprised
Sep 27th 2005
6
           RE: I'm surprised
Oct 02nd 2005
7
           Ok...let's get this straight.
Oct 03rd 2005
13
                Thank you
Oct 03rd 2005
14
Peace MJ
Oct 02nd 2005
8
RE: Peace MJ
Oct 03rd 2005
9
      *sheading a solitary tear*
Oct 03rd 2005
10
           I am so impressed
Oct 03rd 2005
11
RE: Until now
Oct 03rd 2005
12
RE: Until now
Oct 03rd 2005
15
can i get the digits???
Nov 15th 2005
16

AidenWaves
Member since Jun 26th 2003
851 posts
Fri Sep-23-05 12:45 PM

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1. "RE: Until now"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

well, at least they didn't call u Juicy. that was me. slim body, big ass. u really are my mirror image, ma. write on, write on!

Aiden Waves, the cleansing fire

"just as the pureness of honey can sanctify my sins, i say let ur love blow in the wind...." -me!

  

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jayare214
Charter member
2209 posts
Fri Sep-23-05 01:17 PM

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2. "RE: Until now"
In response to Reply # 0


          

I really dug your voicing in this peice.
this especially

"making my hourglass look as if it should topple
with any small wind gust
becoming abnormally big"

showed your personality and sense of humor very well. I feel like the you really came throug in this one
-j

my music group:
http://www.facebook.com/beataroundabush
http://www.lastfm.com/beataroundabush
http://www.reverbnation.com/beataroundabush
http://www.myspace.com/beataroundabush

My beats:
www.myspace.com/jayarejohnson

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/3/no

  

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marijane
Member since Feb 26th 2004
13093 posts
Fri Sep-23-05 01:51 PM

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3. "thanx for noticing guys"
In response to Reply # 2


  

          

And staring me in the face... LOL Keep shining!

Aiden I'll be there on Sunday. e-mail me and i'll give you my number.
Always
from your muse to mine.

_____________________________________
WITH CUZ (STACEY) GONE, I'LL NEVER REALLY BE HERE AGAIN

I swear I'm a marry an OKP


Nakia Genevieve are my middle names... Not my attempt to morph Phenom with Novembersgift... But...

  

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PhotoSynthesis
Charter member
16101 posts
Fri Sep-23-05 04:14 PM

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4. "Big Boobed Banakayi -- *chuckles*"
In response to Reply # 0


          

I was "Jiggly Ginger" or *Juicy Ginger* -- (((Round/Fat Booty))) --

I swear I wanted to cut my butt off just so folks would stop tryna *accidentally on purpose* bump into it! -- *Oh Excuse Me -- Yeah Right!* -- ~rolls eyes~ -- Even my dance teacher used to smack my butt hard with her yardstick and tell me to tuck it under -- (While she tapped everyone else gently on da back, tellin' em to str8'n ^UP^ -- *Chest Out* -- *Back Str8* --

(((Oh Well)))

We turned out aaiight tho, right? --

I feel your pain anywayz -- But I can't relate to Barbie -- Cuz my Barbie's all had flat asses -- *LoL*





A guitar string vibrating, a measure of my soul, a breech in the silence --
I've always felt like words come through me & I write them down... they have no master --- gsquared ♥

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/2/photosynthesis_music.htm

  

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marijane
Member since Feb 26th 2004
13093 posts
Fri Sep-23-05 04:47 PM

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5. "yes Photo.."
In response to Reply # 4


  

          

if that Avitar is really a portrait of you than yes. We turned out VERY well. LOL Keep shining and reproducing our blossoms.

_____________________________________
WITH CUZ (STACEY) GONE, I'LL NEVER REALLY BE HERE AGAIN

I swear I'm a marry an OKP


Nakia Genevieve are my middle names... Not my attempt to morph Phenom with Novembersgift... But...

  

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marijane
Member since Feb 26th 2004
13093 posts
Tue Sep-27-05 02:41 PM

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6. "I'm surprised"
In response to Reply # 5


  

          

out of everyone Delrica had nothing to say about this piece. She usually has some profound moral statement about womanhood (just my observation). Keep shining!

_____________________________________
WITH CUZ (STACEY) GONE, I'LL NEVER REALLY BE HERE AGAIN

I swear I'm a marry an OKP


Nakia Genevieve are my middle names... Not my attempt to morph Phenom with Novembersgift... But...

  

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InGeniousPoet
Member since Feb 17th 2003
441 posts
Sun Oct-02-05 03:06 PM

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7. "RE: I'm surprised"
In response to Reply # 6


  

          

I dig this. Kinda interesting hearing it from a womans point of view, shines a light on the future in store for me and my daughter. Makes me get understanding, knowing now that I have to be supportive (no pun intended LOL) thanks for this Marijane
________________________________________
"With peace and love in my lungs,
I hold my breath until the Poet returns."

--Boxcarboys

  

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delrica
Charter member
6889 posts
Mon Oct-03-05 02:45 PM

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13. "Ok...let's get this straight."
In response to Reply # 6


  

          

I NEVER have anything profound to say!!!

Nuh-Uh, no way no how!

B-sides, I just saw this.

----------------------
Cop my stuff, mayne!

My first chapbook: "This Chapbook Was Made With Pilfered Office Products" available now - $6.00

My 2nd chapbook, coming in 2007: "Orgasms and Ice Cream"

fmi: http://www.myspace.com/delrica

  

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marijane
Member since Feb 26th 2004
13093 posts
Mon Oct-03-05 02:56 PM

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14. "Thank you"
In response to Reply # 13


  

          

In your own way, you have Christened this eventhough we all know you be buggin out. Sometimes it just helps to get a word from the wise. Keep shining!

_____________________________________
WITH CUZ (STACEY) GONE, I'LL NEVER REALLY BE HERE AGAIN

I swear I'm a marry an OKP


Nakia Genevieve are my middle names... Not my attempt to morph Phenom with Novembersgift... But...

  

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flashiusclay
Member since Mar 04th 2004
952 posts
Sun Oct-02-05 03:47 PM

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8. "Peace MJ"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

I read this awhile back and didnt comment on it, I didn't have time to say what I wanted and I forgot about it.

But I got some time so...

It felt a lot of pain coming from this piece. It reminded me of the rah rah playground days where we used to run wild like animals... I remember in elementary school, there being like, 500 kids easy on the playground during recesses, K-6th grade and if you're lucky, 4 adults. Our parents had touble with us one at a time so do the math. Mufuckas was some unsupervised sagavges... At any given second children were participating in all manner of fiendish grown folks activities, smoking, drinking, cussing, harassing each other, fighting... And then the teasing. Damn that was maybe the worst shit. Ignorance in a way that disturbs me. Where did they learn that? But what really makes me stop and think for a second is this. All those kids were miserable. Even me and even you. AmeriKKKa, our society, the American Public School System are all a cruel joke. Maybe if children were actually taught how to be people in this world instead of being brainwashed with lies, marketing campaigns, useless information and Coke machines ignorant little punk ass kids could have appreciated your uniqueness instead of making you feel bad about it. I am disturbed by all the rocks you made me look under with this piece, from education systems, to bad parenting, to a scoiety of seeds that aren't nurtured and even the message barbie dolls sends to our little earths... esp the non caucasians little earths... Good work and good luck.


Proper Education Always Corrects Errors

  

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InGeniousPoet
Member since Feb 17th 2003
441 posts
Mon Oct-03-05 09:18 AM

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9. "RE: Peace MJ"
In response to Reply # 8


  

          

No one else needs to comment (LOL j/k) bc that just about wraps it all up. Thank you both!
________________________________________
"With peace and love in my lungs,
I hold my breath until the Poet returns."

--Boxcarboys

  

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willi_dudat
Member since Jul 26th 2005
8272 posts
Mon Oct-03-05 09:37 AM

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10. "*sheading a solitary tear*"
In response to Reply # 9


  

          

damn...

"It's the return of the gangsta, thanks ta..."

-du

  

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marijane
Member since Feb 26th 2004
13093 posts
Mon Oct-03-05 10:45 AM

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11. "I am so impressed"
In response to Reply # 10


  

          

You guys have taken a psychological shovel and dug up all kinds of subconcious dirt that I didn't even know I portrayed in this rambling piece. Thanks for the time and insite. I agree with all that was said and yet...no Delrica? I am just surprised that MAMA had nothing to say about social situations and woman empowerment. this was my sort of my "Look at me mama" post and...well nothing that's okay. I am grateful for the village that continues to raise me. Thank you all. LOVE. Keep shining!

_____________________________________
WITH CUZ (STACEY) GONE, I'LL NEVER REALLY BE HERE AGAIN

I swear I'm a marry an OKP


Nakia Genevieve are my middle names... Not my attempt to morph Phenom with Novembersgift... But...

  

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SiPhO_aZiZi
Charter member
235 posts
Mon Oct-03-05 11:16 AM

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12. "RE: Until now"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

WOW

what a way to put this together

"Keep Pro-Fessin' the Pro-Found"
S.Azizi

"Real Education means to inspire people to live more abundantly, to learn to begin with life as they find it and make it better."
Carter G. Woodson

  

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NFig
Member since Sep 16th 2005
13 posts
Mon Oct-03-05 09:36 PM

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15. "RE: Until now"
In response to Reply # 0


          

two things...damn that was hot and im glad ur not barbie cause she is fake



keep it real

  

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hdub
Member since Oct 19th 2004
3265 posts
Tue Nov-15-05 10:19 PM

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16. "can i get the digits???"
In response to Reply # 0


          

i mean brainy AND curvaceous damn!

sorry i couldnt resist being a bit of an idiot

as youve said boobies just make men a little strange

anyways i loved this-- seems like you heated up at the end but it was all tight- i especially liked this section:

>
>seventh grade cheerleading
>attracted
>eigth
>ninth
>tenth through twelfth
>even grown admirers
>and
>being born banakayi blessed with Barbie boobs
>still wasn't comfortable
>but it was cool
>boys standing in line to view my cleavage
>popular "flat chested" girls
>needed well endowed bate
>until...
>
>high school
>when my lower body began to catch up
>but not quite
>cause they still wouldn't stop growing
>extending past my view of my feet
>making my hourglass look as if it should topple
>with any small wind gust
>becoming abnormally big
>triple D and counting
>no longer cool
>or mysteriously intruiging
>having they're own sex life.
>No more cheerleading.
>I couldn't fit the vest.
>until..

the way you fit your nickname into the flow of this is tight and i loved the sex life line

ive said it before and ill say it again- im a fan

...(the end)...

  

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