And I re-wrote you
Until my hand could write no more
my tears smudging the ink from my pen
I re-wrote you
& still you had the indecency
to think for yourself
my tears running a steady stream
my mouth dry, but very ready
to scream that
I had wrote you and re-wrote you
and I am wrought with
anguish that I cannot
right you any more
because you have left the intimacies
of my imagination as empty
as a poorman's pocket.

*********

Not everything is as difficult as you want to make it.

I have changed my AIM if you want to say Hi click on my orange man

i just want chu to know
how i feel
how i feel

n/m

"I'm scientific, but my reflex gangsta"- Black Thought

What rgv said...

"Do to others what you would others have done unto you." - The Lord Jesus Christ

SB Video: http://www.youtube.com/soulbrothavideo
SB tweet:www.twitter.com/soulb

is what i get from these lines:

I had wrote you and re-wrote you
and I am wrought with
anguish that I cannot
right you any more
because you have left the intimacies
of my imagination as empty
as a poorman's pocket.


such a horrible place to be in... Peace~

--------------
http://msmind.blogspot.com
http://sadlymstaken.blogspot.com
www.myspace.com/treEmainE

hard times, we can get
over ©Queen Latifah: The Dana Owens Album

www.sheflypaper.com (she confesses here)

I have been in that same place before and it damn frustrating and mentally drainin'. This was felt Ms. lady- Good Work....

Peace
Blaze


I'm moody, I'm cranky, I'm emotional-Dammit just leave me alone

Step into my lair and see what happens next

n/m

I re-wrote you


just solidifies the sentiment in this piece.

awesome.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~newolf~*~*~*~*~*~*~

the light: so, you're having a pre-pre-midlfe crisis?
wolfie: yes.
the light: well, that's wonderful!


icantspell

--------------
http://msmind.blogspot.com
http://sadlymstaken.blogspot.com
www.myspace.com/treEmainE

hard times, we can get
over ©Queen Latifah: The Dana Owens Album

www.sheflypaper.com (she confesses here)

--------------
http://msmind.blogspot.com
http://sadlymstaken.blogspot.com
www.myspace.com/treEmainE

if it aint STIFF it ain't worth
a fuck ©t-shirt courtesy of tracey ullman

as always.

---------Q------------


"..if One Man's amazin..pray tell, where does that leave You??"-D/russ

I'm uppin this cause I absolutely loved it!!!

*********

Not everything is as difficult as you want to make it.

I have changed my AIM if you want to say Hi click on my orange man

there are so many ways to interpret this, this is well worth a few reads, kinda like a movie witha bunch of twists, u pick up on things u may have missed the first few times...the wordplay in the 2nd half is just subtly sick, helluva drop

Let me sport my Air Hyperbole 2010s in peace. (c) ansomble

Building repetoires (c) spm since 1983

thought it was pretty simple..the relationship between poets and poetry...

...In the Land of The Strange Confusion Is King.

but i liked how this presented the relationship in a way that could be applied to many relationships...worth expanding on

Let me sport my Air Hyperbole 2010s in peace. (c) ansomble

Building repetoires (c) spm since 1983

..possibly. But how much of that was the poets work, and how much of that was your own input?

...In the Land of The Strange Confusion Is King.

You haven't really expressed yourself properly here.

And since you're crit'in my work, I'd appreciate if you did.

As for the simplicity - I'm well aware of it, but I wasn't aware that I should be tongue-twisting and metaphorically tying people to the rafters.

*********

Not everything is as difficult as you want to make it.

I have changed my AIM if you want to say Hi click on my orange man

...sorry if you found the criticism offensive. I just thought it was a simple enough idea, nicely executed mind.

...In the Land of The Strange Confusion Is King.

I liked it. In my mind I was readin it... very emotional as I see it.

Pieace.

But I'm juss takin that shit outta context.

I'm now assuming that you're just not bothering to read anything people are saying and simply enjoying the appearance of your words on screen.

*********

Not everything is as difficult as you want to make it.

I have changed my AIM if you want to say Hi click on my orange man

"I re-wrote you
& still you had the indecency
to think for yourself"

m sayin... man gotta do f'self sometimes... woman too...

j/k! I liked this... different style from what i'm used to reading, but then again, you are versatile... good seeing your work again...

MUSE

...
..
.

Speak and it shall manifest
Breathe and it shall live
Love and it shall triumph
Give and it shall never be
lost... ever... - MarcArthur
St. Juste

"not one voice unheard" -
VOICES NYC (Brooklyn, NY)

HALLELU YAHWEH! AMEN

good shit very nice work good job keep working

you should have seen the curse that flew right by you- mars volta

simply put... damn. love the poetry, keep it up.

"Last night I told God about her and he seemed amused,
I asked why are you laughing and he said because she was just telling me the same thing about you."
-C-Spot

extremely descriptive, but i don't wanna think bout the subject matter .

<- DYWM?

Reuschelle's Cheesecakes Summer Special
7" Cake 30$ incl. S&H
email: reuschellescheesecakes@gmail.com for a flavor list.

http://www.myspace.com/the_fifth

whoops

*********

Not everything is as difficult as you want to make it.

I have changed my AIM if you want to say Hi click on my orange man

>I re-wrote you
>& still you had the indecency
>to think for yourself

>I had wrote you and re-wrote you
>and I am wrought with
>anguish that I cannot
>right you any more

I am inspired almost envious. this piece is excellent. Keep Shining!

_____________________________________
WITH CUZ (STACEY) GONE, I'LL NEVER REALLY BE HERE AGAIN

I swear I'm a marry an OKP


Nakia Genevieve are my middle names... Not my attempt to morph Phenom with Novembersgift... But...

"i re-wrote you"

Runs away.

Peace
~
BE' (c)Common Sense

http://www.myspace.com/bartek

.........
oh well

stirs thoughts

writes more

and the brain wont relax

thank you for writting and sharring this provocative peice.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
HOW WILL KARMA BIGHT YOUR ASS?






BE GREATFULL

to start it off with And is powerful...
it puts the reader right into the emotives of the poem

nappiness

---------------
Veronica-Precious
'Moon'

Check out my publishing company
UnSilenced Woman Press
www.unsilencedwomanpress.com


AquaMoon
Aqua Beats and Moon Verses: Volume I
http://www.spokenexistence.com/aqua_moon.html

i just want chu to know
how i feel
how i feel

i'm lovin it on every level...

_____________________
puttin' the roota in the toota since 98'

excellent eloquent work here
ASIEM
"Kuun fiyah Kuun" Quran
(Be and it is)
" A writer takes his pen to write the words again that all in love is fair" Stevie Wonder
checkout these sites
http://4luvofpoetry.com
www.poetology.com

potent and to the point...I liked these lines of raw emotion...love is a pain as well as a blessing....stay up

"Underground is the sound of rebirth." -- Mars ILL