Printer-friendly copy Email this topic to a friend
Lobby Freestyle Board Freestyle Board Archives topic #16498

Subject: "summer love" Previous topic | Next topic
LaDeeDeF_99
Charter member
4028 posts
Tue Aug-09-05 08:28 PM

Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy listClick to send message via AOL IM
"summer love"
Tue Aug-09-05 08:29 PM by LaDeeDeF_99

  

          

summer love has turned into sour lemonade
melted popsicles
puddles of spilled juice
and flakey cookie crumbs
dry flowers and heat
make summer love unbearable
even indoors, summer love has
forgotten the finer points and lines
of curved, sweaty backs
pressed against the cool refridgerator door
brightly colored strawberries
now resemble roadkill victims, overturn tomato trucks
and abandoned garbage heaps
summer love is lonely without willing participants
and whirs slowly in the corner like metal fan blades
over and over again, summer pleads with love
only to find its rays much too harsh
to sustain life



peace
ladee

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top


Topic Outline
Subject Author Message Date ID
RE: summer love
Aug 09th 2005
1
I lost that summer love too..
Aug 09th 2005
2
RE: summer love
Aug 09th 2005
3
wow really feelin this....
Aug 10th 2005
4
*feels pain over left side of the chest*
Aug 10th 2005
5
i've been single for a good 2 summers now
Aug 10th 2005
6

jayare214
Charter member
2209 posts
Tue Aug-09-05 09:02 PM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy listClick to send message via AOL IM
1. "RE: summer love"
In response to Reply # 0


          

much more visual than many of your works....I likes the use of the image though...very powerful...and the lines roll off the toungue with a nice rhythm and impact...
very well done...
-j

my music group:
http://www.facebook.com/beataroundabush
http://www.lastfm.com/beataroundabush
http://www.reverbnation.com/beataroundabush
http://www.myspace.com/beataroundabush

My beats:
www.myspace.com/jayarejohnson

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/3/no

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

naiduk
Member since Jul 24th 2005
15233 posts
Tue Aug-09-05 09:54 PM

Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
2. "I lost that summer love too.."
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

really feeling the piece

fav part:

"summer love is lonely without willing participants
and whirs slowly in the corner like metal fan blades
over and over again, summer pleads with love
only to find its rays much too harsh
to sustain life"

____________________________________


no regrets
life is hectic

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

gsquared
Member since Oct 26th 2002
3647 posts
Tue Aug-09-05 11:48 PM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
3. "RE: summer love"
In response to Reply # 0
Tue Aug-09-05 11:49 PM by gsquared

          

>> overturn tomato trucks...abandoned....slowly in the corner like metal fan blades
over and over again, summer pleads with love<<

--excellent






"My turn to speak in tongues"

--Photosynthesis


"the unexpected takes hold"--Robynwildchild

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

KnowOne
Charter member
39801 posts
Wed Aug-10-05 07:24 AM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy listClick to send message via AOL IM
4. "wow really feelin this...."
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

luv the lines below:

>summer love has turned into sour lemonade
>melted popsicles
>puddles of spilled juice
>and flakey cookie crumbs

>summer love is lonely without willing participants
>and whirs slowly in the corner like metal fan blades
>over and over again, summer pleads with love
>only to find its rays much too harsh
>to sustain life

Well done....

Keep Flowin' Sis'......

_________________________________________
"Too weird to live.... too rare to die..."

PS+ ID: KnowOne215 | XBL GamerTag: KnowOne 215

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

blak_yukon
Charter member
3901 posts
Wed Aug-10-05 03:23 PM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
5. "*feels pain over left side of the chest*"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          


<<----reporting live-----

http://www.myspace.com/vicversus

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

the perfect mistake
Member since Dec 19th 2004
5090 posts
Wed Aug-10-05 07:05 PM

Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
6. "i've been single for a good 2 summers now"
In response to Reply # 0


          

it's starting to feel like home

brightly colored strawberries
now resemble roadkill victims, overturn tomato trucks
and abandoned garbage heaps
summer love is lonely without willing participants
and whirs slowly in the corner like metal fan blades
over and over again, summer pleads with love
only to find its rays much too harsh
to sustain life

*nods*

------------------------
Pinwheels and Hula Hoops: my book
http://www.lulu.com/content/132318

http://msmind.blogspot.com

you're the ying to my yang, tre.
your words do ballet.

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

Lobby Freestyle Board Freestyle Board Archives topic #16498 Previous topic | Next topic
Powered by DCForum+ Version 1.25
Copyright © DCScripts.com