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Subject: "the bitch" Previous topic | Next topic
humblemumble
Member since Feb 10th 2003
3345 posts
Fri Mar-11-05 01:39 PM

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"the bitch"


  

          

this is old & has been tweaked.

you say that
i'm a bitch w/words
a bitch in silence
so what's the in between-
the un-huh honey
you right
nodding in agreement
going along & playing the part
pretending-
you should know better
& i know
you know better
than to mumble
bitch

i suppose you think iím a lady
at my best
when i have your dick in my mouth
or face down on the floor
yeah
i enjoy those times too
but what about the times
when i
wash your hair
read to you
dance for you
hold you
pray with you
pray for you
light candles
just so we can see
our reflection
reflect us

you say that i'm
a bitch w/words
a bitch w/silence
but
maybe iím not a bitch at all
just a lady trying to get her point across
b/c you donít heed to whispers
unless accompanied by nakedness
so i take it up a notch
to make sure there is no misunderstanding
& it should be understood
that if i didnít care
all you would get
was
un-huh honey
you right

you say that i/m
a bitch w/words
a bitch w/silence
but i'm just a woman who
bitches b/c
you donít see what iím feeling
& iím feeling love
& love never hurt nobody
as long as itís the real thing
so i go on
bitching b/c
you canít see past my words
cause you think a bitch is in your face
& u wrong.

  

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Topic Outline
Subject Author Message Date ID
i agree it cld use some
Mar 11th 2005
1
this line holds truth:
Mar 12th 2005
2
& love never hurt nobody
Mar 12th 2005
3
Oldie But Goodie ...
May 09th 2005
4
archive!....
May 09th 2005
5
^^^^^^^^^^^
May 10th 2005
6
think im gonna have to inbox the mods....
May 14th 2005
8
yes, let us
Jul 25th 2005
10
RE: the bitch
May 10th 2005
7
RE: the bitch
May 14th 2005
9
RE: the bitch
Jul 25th 2005
11

rgv
Charter member
4556 posts
Fri Mar-11-05 03:20 PM

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1. "i agree it cld use some"
In response to Reply # 0


          

more working on, but this is simple, and i liked it
right there w/ u girl


i suppose you think iím a lady
at my best
when i have your dick in my mouth
or face down on the floor
yeah
i enjoy those times too
but what about the times
when i
wash your hair
read to you
dance for you
hold you
pray with you
pray for you
light candles
just so we can see
our reflection
reflect us

you say that i'm
a bitch w/words
a bitch w/silence
but
maybe iím not a bitch at all
just a lady trying to get her point across
b/c you donít heed to whispers
unless accompanied by nakedness
so i take it up a notch
to make sure there is no misunderstanding
& it should be understood
that if i didnít care
all you would get
was
un-huh honey
you right

you say that i/m
a bitch w/words
a bitch w/silence
but i'm just a woman who
bitches b/c
you donít see what iím feeling
& iím feeling love
& love never hurt nobody
as long as itís the real thing
so i go on
bitching b/c
you canít see past my words
cause you think a bitch is in your face
& u wrong.

i just want chu to know
how i feel
how i feel

  

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paperdollpoet
Charter member
2238 posts
Sat Mar-12-05 12:24 AM

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2. "this line holds truth:"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

b/c you donít heed to whispers

i like the line because, to me, it shows that you have tried other venues of conflict resolution, outside of yelling/screaming/loudly nagging. it shows that you may have once/twice/a million times tried to take inconsideration "hey, maybe its me..maybe i'm approaching him wrong". that line & the one about praying with & for him, to me, break up the agression in the poem, which is a good thing.

---
confucius say...demand much from , little from , and you'll avoid .

  

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the perfect mistake
Member since Dec 19th 2004
5090 posts
Sat Mar-12-05 12:47 AM

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3. "& love never hurt nobody"
In response to Reply # 0


          

but what about the times
when i
wash your hair
read to you
dance for you
hold you
pray with you
pray for you
light candles
just so we can see
our reflection
reflect us

you say that i'm
a bitch w/words
a bitch w/silence
but
maybe iím not a bitch at all
just a lady trying to get her point across
b/c you donít heed to whispers

when u came back humblemumble, you came with a vengeance...






and pray with ease. ©lei

  

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PhotoSynthesis
Charter member
16101 posts
Mon May-09-05 06:20 PM

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4. "Oldie But Goodie ..."
In response to Reply # 0


          

*Nice Tweak* --

A guitar string vibrating, a measure of my soul, a breech in the silence --
I've always felt like words come through me & I write them down... they have no master --- gsquared ♥

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/2/photosynthesis_music.htm

  

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hdub
Member since Oct 19th 2004
3264 posts
Mon May-09-05 06:45 PM

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5. "archive!...."
In response to Reply # 0


          

...i love this

in my humble opinion there is no more tweaking necessary whatsoever

...(the end)...

  

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hdub
Member since Oct 19th 2004
3264 posts
Tue May-10-05 12:48 PM

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6. "^^^^^^^^^^^"
In response to Reply # 5


          

up

...(the end)...

  

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hdub
Member since Oct 19th 2004
3264 posts
Sat May-14-05 01:22 AM

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8. "think im gonna have to inbox the mods...."
In response to Reply # 6


          

...just noticed this wasnt in the archives

...(the end)...

  

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rgv
Charter member
4556 posts
Mon Jul-25-05 09:24 PM

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10. "yes, let us"
In response to Reply # 5


          

i just want chu to know
how i feel
how i feel

  

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MiracleRic
Member since Oct 21st 2002
45200 posts
Tue May-10-05 12:57 PM

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7. "RE: the bitch"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

i like this for the most part

this line grated against me the wrong way tho for some reason:
"& love never hurt nobody
as long as itís the real thing"

this was a somewhat simple vent-styled piece, but it still managed to be insightful, the sexual imagery almost threw me off at first, u touched on the idea again with the whisper/nakedness line, it had a shock and awe feel, lol, nice piece

Let me sport my Air Hyperbole 2010s in peace. (c) ansomble

Building repetoires (c) spm since 1983

  

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The Lemon Kid
Member since May 02nd 2005
3311 posts
Sat May-14-05 01:24 AM

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9. "RE: the bitch"
In response to Reply # 0


          

..since nobodies said it, ain't the only thing a bitch really want a bone..?

...In the Land of The Strange Confusion Is King.

  

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Lucky187
Member since Dec 02nd 2002
741 posts
Mon Jul-25-05 09:46 PM

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11. "RE: the bitch"
In response to Reply # 0


          

"i suppose you think iím a lady
at my best
when i have your dick in my mouth
or face down on the floor
yeah
i enjoy those times too
but what about the times
when i
wash your hair
read to you
dance for you
hold you
pray with you
pray for you
light candles
just so we can see
our reflection
reflect us"

All those things rarely come in one package.. I liked the piece, but I'm almost suspcious cause you make yaself sound like a dream girl, and I'd put a winky face here if I knew how to fuck wit that shit.. I liked it

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sig-

"I wandered around darkened hallways,
Lab-rynth, filled with,
Blood vessels and plasma,
Caught glances of windows-
Peeking OUT, exoflective,
Invective messages left on my own voice mail..
And by looking out from within?

I

  

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