humblemumble Member since Feb 10th 2003 3345 posts
Fri Mar-11-05 01:39 PM
"the bitch"
this is old & has been tweaked.
you say that i'm a bitch w/words a bitch in silence so what's the in between- the un-huh honey you right nodding in agreement going along & playing the part pretending- you should know better & i know you know better than to mumble bitch
i suppose you think i’m a lady at my best when i have your dick in my mouth or face down on the floor yeah i enjoy those times too but what about the times when i wash your hair read to you dance for you hold you pray with you pray for you light candles just so we can see our reflection reflect us
you say that i'm a bitch w/words a bitch w/silence but maybe i’m not a bitch at all just a lady trying to get her point across b/c you don’t heed to whispers unless accompanied by nakedness so i take it up a notch to make sure there is no misunderstanding & it should be understood that if i didn’t care all you would get was un-huh honey you right
you say that i/m a bitch w/words a bitch w/silence but i'm just a woman who bitches b/c you don’t see what i’m feeling & i’m feeling love & love never hurt nobody as long as it’s the real thing so i go on bitching b/c you can’t see past my words cause you think a bitch is in your face & u wrong.
1. "i agree it cld use some" In response to Reply # 0
more working on, but this is simple, and i liked it right there w/ u girl
i suppose you think i’m a lady at my best when i have your dick in my mouth or face down on the floor yeah i enjoy those times too but what about the times when i wash your hair read to you dance for you hold you pray with you pray for you light candles just so we can see our reflection reflect us
you say that i'm a bitch w/words a bitch w/silence but maybe i’m not a bitch at all just a lady trying to get her point across b/c you don’t heed to whispers unless accompanied by nakedness so i take it up a notch to make sure there is no misunderstanding & it should be understood that if i didn’t care all you would get was un-huh honey you right
you say that i/m a bitch w/words a bitch w/silence but i'm just a woman who bitches b/c you don’t see what i’m feeling & i’m feeling love & love never hurt nobody as long as it’s the real thing so i go on bitching b/c you can’t see past my words cause you think a bitch is in your face & u wrong.
2. "this line holds truth:" In response to Reply # 0
b/c you don’t heed to whispers
i like the line because, to me, it shows that you have tried other venues of conflict resolution, outside of yelling/screaming/loudly nagging. it shows that you may have once/twice/a million times tried to take inconsideration "hey, maybe its me..maybe i'm approaching him wrong". that line & the one about praying with & for him, to me, break up the agression in the poem, which is a good thing.
--- confucius say...demand much from , little from , and you'll avoid .
3. "& love never hurt nobody" In response to Reply # 0
but what about the times when i wash your hair read to you dance for you hold you pray with you pray for you light candles just so we can see our reflection reflect us
you say that i'm a bitch w/words a bitch w/silence but maybe i’m not a bitch at all just a lady trying to get her point across b/c you don’t heed to whispers
when u came back humblemumble, you came with a vengeance...
4. "Oldie But Goodie ..." In response to Reply # 0
*Nice Tweak* --
A guitar string vibrating, a measure of my soul, a breech in the silence -- I've always felt like words come through me & I write them down... they have no master --- gsquared ♥
this line grated against me the wrong way tho for some reason: "& love never hurt nobody as long as it’s the real thing"
this was a somewhat simple vent-styled piece, but it still managed to be insightful, the sexual imagery almost threw me off at first, u touched on the idea again with the whisper/nakedness line, it had a shock and awe feel, lol, nice piece
Let me sport my Air Hyperbole 2010s in peace. (c) ansomble
"i suppose you think i’m a lady at my best when i have your dick in my mouth or face down on the floor yeah i enjoy those times too but what about the times when i wash your hair read to you dance for you hold you pray with you pray for you light candles just so we can see our reflection reflect us"
All those things rarely come in one package.. I liked the piece, but I'm almost suspcious cause you make yaself sound like a dream girl, and I'd put a winky face here if I knew how to fuck wit that shit.. I liked it
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Sig-
"I wandered around darkened hallways, Lab-rynth, filled with, Blood vessels and plasma, Caught glances of windows- Peeking OUT, exoflective, Invective messages left on my own voice mail.. And by looking out from within?