Printer-friendly copy Email this topic to a friend
Lobby Freestyle Board Freestyle Board Archives topic #16046

Subject: "because he wanted me to write a poem for him" Previous topic | Next topic
the perfect mistake
Member since Dec 19th 2004
5090 posts
Sun Mar-20-05 02:54 AM

Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
"because he wanted me to write a poem for him"


          

*for knowing when to say "i am wrong," and past would have been lovers if i would have just... given them time.*

because he wanted me to write a poem for him

i never gave "us" a chance.
i knew the future wouldn't
involve you, and i did
not want to do anything
rash. what would
have been the
sense of holding your
hand and dragging you along
for a ride made of
bumps and potholes?
i had so much
baggage, and at times, it
is still hard for me to unpack, but
you wanted me to try,
and try, i could not.
i still had HIM on my mind,
and love, and life, and wanting
to change for someone other than
myself; loving you
was not in the plans.

but like the aries in me,
you were determined. headstrong,
you stood close to your beliefs that
we could work and distance would
be a simple obstacle for each of
us to get through. and i
imagined nites with you
sitting up writing poems that
had my name in them, but
no major details were given.
you should have listened
to me sooner. wasted
time that could have been bottled
in a mason jar and placed on ur night-stand
for safekeeping. it's too late
now; we are friends with
a past that never had a beginning.
we are old lovers
who never fucked. we are
lost souls yearning for
love from individuals who
look like "us."

i still search
for the "hey tre" in their
voices, praying that one day,
he'll sound the same. and maybe,
just maybe, i'll give him
the chance i did not give
you. i wrote this poem
on this day, at this
time, cuz you asked me to.
my gift to you for being
loyal, believing we
could have been what
we were not.
i apologize.

固remaine L. Loadholt


http://sadlymstaken.journalspace.com
http://sadlymstaken.blogspot.com
http://www.sheflypaper.com/honeychile.html
http://profiles.myspace.com/users/6665039

http://www.sheflypaper.com

may you learn hard lessons and
pray with ease. 始ei

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top


Topic Outline
Subject Author Message Date ID
i like
Mar 20th 2005
1
RE: because he wanted me to write a poem for him
Mar 20th 2005
2
this and the last stanza
Mar 20th 2005
3
i do know.
Mar 20th 2005
4
      RE: i do know.
Mar 20th 2005
6
RE: because he wanted me to write a poem for him
Mar 20th 2005
5
yep...
Mar 21st 2005
7
      the "we are's" are actually my favs... thanks nm
Mar 21st 2005
8
when you write from the heart, you write with the intensity
Mar 21st 2005
9
i am flattered by that Loni, really, I am... thanks nm
Mar 21st 2005
10
this had a lot of reflection, & introspection
Mar 21st 2005
11
my favorite parts
Mar 21st 2005
12
it was a little bit of both; hindsight and viewing it like that then nm
Mar 22nd 2005
13
pretty heartfelt
Mar 22nd 2005
14
thanks...
Mar 22nd 2005
15
RE: because he wanted me to write a poem for him
Mar 22nd 2005
16
a thought
Mar 23rd 2005
17
oh i love the last stanza!
Mar 23rd 2005
18
RE: because he wanted me to write a poem for him
Mar 31st 2005
19
RE: because he wanted me to write a poem for him
Jul 20th 2005
20
i just recently lost my fiance
Jul 22nd 2005
21
i have no trouble saying i'm sorry, esp... when i know i'm wrong
Jul 22nd 2005
23
It takes a mature person
Jul 22nd 2005
22
i am not even gonna read a reply b4 i...
Aug 18th 2005
24
RE: because he wanted me to write a poem for him
Aug 18th 2005
25
RE: because he wanted me to write a poem for him
Aug 18th 2005
26
      bighead... i miss you... check ur inbox... please...
Aug 19th 2005
28
I can feel the emotion of the whole piece
Aug 18th 2005
27
^UP^ B~Cuz I Want 2 C This Archived ...
Aug 29th 2005
29

Zesi
Charter member
24062 posts
Sun Mar-20-05 11:16 AM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
1. "i like"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

the last two parts best, they seemed to be more literary than simply personal.

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

Intrepid Vixen
Member since Nov 07th 2004
2150 posts
Sun Mar-20-05 11:27 AM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
2. "RE: because he wanted me to write a poem for him"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

You know sometimes things happen as they are supposed to happen and sometimes things happen because we don't quiet our fears and see the possibilities. Very poignant piece and dare I venture to say, perhaps painful to write. This right here though:

you should have listened
to me sooner. wasted
time that could have been bottled
in a mason jar and placed on ur night-stand
for safekeeping. it's too late
now; we are friends with
a past that never had a beginning.
we are old lovers
who never fucked. we are
lost souls yearning for
love from individuals who
look like "us."

i still search
for the "hey tre" in their
voices, praying that one day,
he'll sound the same. and maybe,
just maybe, i'll give him
the chance i did not give
you. i wrote this poem
on this day, at this
time, cuz you asked me to.
my gift to you for being
loyal, believing we
could have been what
we were not.
i apologize.

I think to a certain point, we've all felt like this or been in this situation or know someone who has. For me, I extinguish the possibilities if they don't fit into what I want at the time, which could possibly be a huge mistake, but it's in the past that I don't dwell on too much. Decisions get made, people get hurt, and then we're filled with regret. But, the apology is sincere if it comes from a loving place.

~*~
Beauty is in my ear
I sketch beautiful
rhythms with a pen
canvassing
my thoughts
artfully articulated
into harmonies of
words
~*~ KSB ~*~

"My feelings or emotions or anything at all will reverberate throughout the halls of a poem."
~KSB~

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

rgv
Charter member
4556 posts
Sun Mar-20-05 01:40 PM

Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy listClick to send message via AOL IM
3. "this and the last stanza"
In response to Reply # 0


          

we are friends with
a past that never had a beginning.
we are old lovers
who never fucked. we are
lost souls yearning for
love from individuals who
look like "us."

u know who i wldve written this for.

i just want chu to know
how i feel
how i feel

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

    
the perfect mistake
Member since Dec 19th 2004
5090 posts
Sun Mar-20-05 02:52 PM

Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
4. "i do know."
In response to Reply # 3


          

thanks you guys for the honest opinions... we love those.. *nods*

it wasn't painful at all to write Intrepid, just something I kinda owed someone. an apology, a poem, an in depth look into why we couldn't be what he wanted (and deep down, what I wanted too, but.. couldn't handle)... *nods*


http://sadlymstaken.journalspace.com
http://sadlymstaken.blogspot.com
http://www.sheflypaper.com/honeychile.html
http://profiles.myspace.com/users/6665039

http://www.sheflypaper.com

may you learn hard lessons and
pray with ease. 始ei

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

        
Intrepid Vixen
Member since Nov 07th 2004
2150 posts
Sun Mar-20-05 04:55 PM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
6. "RE: i do know."
In response to Reply # 4


  

          

Glad that it wasn't painful.
~*~
Beauty is in my ear
I sketch beautiful
rhythms with a pen
canvassing
my thoughts
artfully articulated
into harmonies of
words
~*~ KSB ~*~

"My feelings or emotions or anything at all will reverberate throughout the halls of a poem."
~KSB~

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

blak_yukon
Charter member
3901 posts
Sun Mar-20-05 04:25 PM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
5. "RE: because he wanted me to write a poem for him"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

it's too late
now; we are friends with
a past that never had a beginning...

poetry chicks...i tell'ya.

good stuff,cause it hurt,ha
blk

---------SIG-----------

once i figure out how to keep a sig and not have all chopped up whenever i respond to a post.

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

    
Soledad
Member since Nov 11th 2003
1338 posts
Mon Mar-21-05 08:06 AM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
7. "yep..."
In response to Reply # 5


  

          

>it's too late
>now; we are friends with
>a past that never had a beginning...

these lines got to me...

www.marlenelillian.com

www.planetcory.com

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

        
the perfect mistake
Member since Dec 19th 2004
5090 posts
Mon Mar-21-05 08:10 AM

Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
8. "the "we are's" are actually my favs... thanks nm"
In response to Reply # 7


          


http://sadlymstaken.journalspace.com
http://sadlymstaken.blogspot.com
http://www.sheflypaper.com/honeychile.html
http://profiles.myspace.com/users/6665039

http://www.sheflypaper.com

may you learn hard lessons and
pray with ease. 始ei

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

OrangeLoni
Charter member
15936 posts
Mon Mar-21-05 11:05 AM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy listClick to send message via AOL IM
9. "when you write from the heart, you write with the intensity"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

required to remove breath from my lungs

never gave "us" a chance.
i knew the future wouldn't
involve you, and i did
not want to do anything
rash. what would
have been the
sense of holding your
hand and dragging you along
for a ride made of
bumps and potholes?
i had so much
baggage, and at times, it
is still hard for me to unpack, but
you wanted me to try,
and try, i could not.
i still had HIM on my mind,
and love, and life, and wanting
to change for someone other than
myself; loving you
was not in the plans.

but like the aries in me,
you were determined. headstrong,
you stood close to your beliefs that
we could work and distance would
be a simple obstacle for each of
us to get through. and i
imagined nites with you
sitting up writing poems that
had my name in them, but
no major details were given.
you should have listened
to me sooner.

*********

Not everything is as difficult as you want to make it.

I have changed my AIM if you want to say Hi click on my orange man

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

    
the perfect mistake
Member since Dec 19th 2004
5090 posts
Mon Mar-21-05 06:23 PM

Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
10. "i am flattered by that Loni, really, I am... thanks nm"
In response to Reply # 9


          


http://sadlymstaken.journalspace.com
http://sadlymstaken.blogspot.com
http://www.sheflypaper.com/honeychile.html
http://profiles.myspace.com/users/6665039

http://www.sheflypaper.com

may you learn hard lessons and
pray with ease. 始ei

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

sparrow
Member since Nov 24th 2004
130 posts
Mon Mar-21-05 09:31 PM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy listClick to send message via AOL IM
11. "this had a lot of reflection, & introspection"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

the wisdom that comes from lookin at something from afar.

yr second stanza..primarily the middle to the end of it...was the powerhouse to me. the beginning and end seemed like mere bookends. but then again, maybe thats fitting....

*******************
a woman like me
needs to own her own galleries
write her own anthologies
needs blueberry bagels for breakfast
coconut rice for lunch
pork chops & glasses of wine for dinner
nothing but a string of pearls
and some moisturizer
to bed

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

humblemumble
Member since Feb 10th 2003
3345 posts
Mon Mar-21-05 09:49 PM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
12. "my favorite parts"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

>i never gave "us" a chance.
>i knew the future wouldn't
>involve you, and i did
>not want to do anything
>rash. what would
>have been the
>sense of holding your
>hand and dragging you along
>for a ride made of
>bumps and potholes?
>i had so much
>baggage, and at times, it
>is still hard for me to unpack, but
>you wanted me to try,
>and try, i could not.

&

>you should have listened
>to me sooner. wasted
>time that could have been bottled
>in a mason jar and placed on ur night-stand
>for safekeeping. it's too late
>now; we are friends with
>a past that never had a beginning.
>we are old lovers
>who never fucked. we are
>lost souls yearning for
>love from individuals who
>look like "us."

this was such a mature & honest pieces. i wonder if you viewed the "relationship" like that at the time or was this hindsight?

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

    
the perfect mistake
Member since Dec 19th 2004
5090 posts
Tue Mar-22-05 08:04 AM

Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
13. "it was a little bit of both; hindsight and viewing it like that then nm"
In response to Reply # 12


          


http://sadlymstaken.journalspace.com
http://sadlymstaken.blogspot.com
http://www.sheflypaper.com/honeychile.html
http://profiles.myspace.com/users/6665039

http://www.sheflypaper.com

may you learn hard lessons and
pray with ease. 始ei

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

noseitall
Charter member
2414 posts
Tue Mar-22-05 10:30 AM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy listClick to send message via AOL IM
14. "pretty heartfelt"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

real & honest---- this far exceeded any expectations...
you know i love the start of the 2nd stanza.... you pay close
attention to detail(s).

your writing/words are never a disappointment:)




peace.
~~~~~~~~~

my hard head makes me learn shit the hard way - t.i.

thump a nigga on his knuckles make him say ouch - lil fate

i fantasize about fucking women that i don't like and cumming
real fast and on their favorite blouse and putting on

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

    
the perfect mistake
Member since Dec 19th 2004
5090 posts
Tue Mar-22-05 06:32 PM

Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
15. "thanks..."
In response to Reply # 14


          

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

PhotoSynthesis
Charter member
16101 posts
Tue Mar-22-05 08:02 PM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
16. "RE: because he wanted me to write a poem for him"
In response to Reply # 0


          

If this flow were a fruit -- It would be a "pink grapefruit" -- Tart & bittersweet -- Burning the throat as it goes down -- with acidity & vitamin C --

It's refreshing -- But it burns a lil -- stings a lil' -- (especially if you get it in your eye) --

Some of this flow squirted in my eye -- -- I think I'm gonna cry! -- *sniff*


But forreal tho -- Your flows are always sincere and honestly heartfelt -- Particularly those close to "YOUR" heart! -- *sad smiles*

You make "us" feel your heartbeats -- And the synchronization is rhythmic~ly nice! -- *No Doubt*

A guitar string vibrating, a measure of my soul, a breech in the silence --
I've always felt like words come through me & I write them down... they have no master --- gsquared ♥

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/2/photosynthesis_music.htm

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

rgv
Charter member
4556 posts
Wed Mar-23-05 10:52 AM

Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy listClick to send message via AOL IM
17. "a thought"
In response to Reply # 0


          

what
we were not.

//

what
we are not??


i just want chu to know
how i feel
how i feel

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

Otto
Member since Dec 19th 2002
4624 posts
Wed Mar-23-05 12:52 PM

Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
18. "oh i love the last stanza!"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

and this was on target:

loving you
was not in the plans.

...i aint been around for a minute, but im glad this is the first thing i read.

-Otto

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

PhotoSynthesis
Charter member
16101 posts
Thu Mar-31-05 09:12 AM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
19. "RE: because he wanted me to write a poem for him"
In response to Reply # 0


          

I just had grapefruit, toast and chi tea for breakfast!


(((Thought Of You))) --



^UP^

A guitar string vibrating, a measure of my soul, a breech in the silence --
I've always felt like words come through me & I write them down... they have no master --- gsquared ♥

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/2/photosynthesis_music.htm

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

PhotoSynthesis
Charter member
16101 posts
Wed Jul-20-05 09:58 PM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
20. "RE: because he wanted me to write a poem for him"
In response to Reply # 0


          

I'm glad you did! --


^UpPeRz^


A guitar string vibrating, a measure of my soul, a breech in the silence --
I've always felt like words come through me & I write them down... they have no master --- gsquared ♥

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/2/photosynthesis_music.htm

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

southernboy_423
Member since May 12th 2005
847 posts
Fri Jul-22-05 12:15 AM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy listClick to send message via AOL IM
21. "i just recently lost my fiance"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

....because she could not say "i apologize"

this shit was nice, i felt it all the way thru every line,
great piece.

-peace



....and so it goes, im at it again. Fix ur fucking face, Im in the building!

http://www.soundclick.com/band/5/youngsleep_music.htm

"I had to get off the boat, so I can walk on water". - Jay-Z

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

    
the perfect mistake
Member since Dec 19th 2004
5090 posts
Fri Jul-22-05 12:17 PM

Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
23. "i have no trouble saying i'm sorry, esp... when i know i'm wrong"
In response to Reply # 21


          

other times, if i'm not too sure i'm wrong, if i'm steadfast in my opinion, i will not apologize... i don't care who it is and how important he or she is to me... that, i gotta work on. thanks, i'm glad someone could relate again

------------------------
Pinwheels and Hula Hoops: my book
http://www.lulu.com/content/132318

http://msmind.blogspot.com

you're the ying to my yang, tre.
your words do ballet.

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

Soulbrotha
Member since Feb 18th 2004
7401 posts
Fri Jul-22-05 09:41 AM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
22. "It takes a mature person"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

to own up to their faults and say "they're sorry."

I applaud the courage that oozed out from this piece.

"Do to others what you would others have done unto you." - The Lord Jesus Christ

SB Video: http://www.youtube.com/soulbrothavideo
SB tweet:www.twitter.com/soulb

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

ASIEM
Charter member
4154 posts
Thu Aug-18-05 11:22 AM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
24. "i am not even gonna read a reply b4 i..."
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

say this has got to be the quintessential dear hakim letter...and it has to be one of the harshest realities when lived long enough most of us will encounter...Fantasia sang Truth Is after something like this but i must highlight these lines

"now; we are friends with
a past that never had a beginning."

"we are old lovers
who never fucked. "

some lines should stand alone these are two of them...i mean i jumped uotta my seat when i read the last one especially very power writing here sis...bump that after reading this if i were him i would ask for a sympathy fuck at least lmao just on gp of makin abomb ass piece of writing this could go platinum can't a brother get some "just cause" lol


ASIEM
"Kuun fiyah Kuun" Quran
(Be and it is)
" A writer takes his pen to write the words again that all in love is fair" Stevie Wonder
checkout these sites
http://4luvofpoetry.com
www.poetology.com

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

Shakeet Lokh Em
Member since Mar 22nd 2005
3451 posts
Thu Aug-18-05 11:32 AM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy listClick to send message via AOL IM
25. "RE: because he wanted me to write a poem for him"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

Like Soulbrotha said, it takes a mature person to see a situation for what it really is, and apologize for their actions. I like this alot. Integrity on your part. Thumbs North. ~one~

"I'm scientific, but my reflex gangsta"- Black Thought

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

    
SUPERego
Charter member
157 posts
Thu Aug-18-05 07:00 PM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
26. "RE: because he wanted me to write a poem for him"
In response to Reply # 25


          

Hi Tre! Love ya lots

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

        
the perfect mistake
Member since Dec 19th 2004
5090 posts
Fri Aug-19-05 05:41 PM

Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
28. "bighead... i miss you... check ur inbox... please..."
In response to Reply # 26


          

i love you too.

------------------------
Pinwheels and Hula Hoops: my book
http://www.lulu.com/content/132318

http://msmind.blogspot.com

you've been resurrected, tre.

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

naiduk
Member since Jul 24th 2005
15233 posts
Thu Aug-18-05 10:20 PM

Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
27. "I can feel the emotion of the whole piece"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

I've been there too





____________________________________


no regrets
life is hectic

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

PhotoSynthesis
Charter member
16101 posts
Mon Aug-29-05 01:00 AM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
29. "^UP^ B~Cuz I Want 2 C This Archived ..."
In response to Reply # 0


          

2nd request --

A guitar string vibrating, a measure of my soul, a breech in the silence --
I've always felt like words come through me & I write them down... they have no master --- gsquared ♥

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/2/photosynthesis_music.htm

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

Lobby Freestyle Board Freestyle Board Archives topic #16046 Previous topic | Next topic
Powered by DCForum+ Version 1.25
Copyright © DCScripts.com