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*for knowing when to say "i am wrong," and past would have been lovers if i would have just... given them time.*
because he wanted me to write a poem for him
i never gave "us" a chance. i knew the future wouldn't involve you, and i did not want to do anything rash. what would have been the sense of holding your hand and dragging you along for a ride made of bumps and potholes? i had so much baggage, and at times, it is still hard for me to unpack, but you wanted me to try, and try, i could not. i still had HIM on my mind, and love, and life, and wanting to change for someone other than myself; loving you was not in the plans.
but like the aries in me, you were determined. headstrong, you stood close to your beliefs that we could work and distance would be a simple obstacle for each of us to get through. and i imagined nites with you sitting up writing poems that had my name in them, but no major details were given. you should have listened to me sooner. wasted time that could have been bottled in a mason jar and placed on ur night-stand for safekeeping. it's too late now; we are friends with a past that never had a beginning. we are old lovers who never fucked. we are lost souls yearning for love from individuals who look like "us."
i still search for the "hey tre" in their voices, praying that one day, he'll sound the same. and maybe, just maybe, i'll give him the chance i did not give you. i wrote this poem on this day, at this time, cuz you asked me to. my gift to you for being loyal, believing we could have been what we were not. i apologize.
ŠTremaine L. Loadholt
http://sadlymstaken.journalspace.com http://sadlymstaken.blogspot.com http://www.sheflypaper.com/honeychile.html http://profiles.myspace.com/users/6665039
http://www.sheflypaper.com
may you learn hard lessons and pray with ease. Šlei
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