Rough and scaly. His hands, so much bigger and more violating now than they had seemed downstairs. Then, casually wrapped around a Budweiser can. Now, pinning my arm and neck to the filthy bedsheets we rocked back and forth upon. He had seemed so different back then; demure and conceding, yet with an impish smile that should have clued me in. Now, as he crouched above me, all sinews and crazed, mocking sneer I could think nothing except…my insides will never forgive me. My shredded and defiled insides, so tender and gullible only minutes before. So unprepared. Even the cheap box-strings upon which we bounced shrieked in disgusted protest. I – teeth gritted, steeling myself against the onslaught – would give him no such satisfaction. This could not beat me. He couldn't; not even in all his grunting, thrusting glory. But gosh, it hurt...so much more than physically. The guttural whispers in my ear were unintelligible; as devoid of meaning as his eyes had become. Back then, charming and curious, now they were just blank, cavernous orbs hanging in a twisted nightmare masquerading as his face. He was a dread. The word seemed so fitting now, as the thick tendrils from his head whiplashed mercilessly around my face, obscuring his own with leaping shadows. Grunt, pant, thrust. The monotony in another, more innocent context, would have been mildly amusing but now only served as fodder for my fear. I would be frozen in this moment forever; legs, forcibly splayed while pummeled and throttled and bouncing. And then, without warning, he slowed, stiffened and I felt the nauseating slickness. The sum of a union never meant to be, slipping down stinging thighs as he disentangled. The bed no longer undulating, the room now still. His whispered thankyou, a belt buckle’s clank and then light, as the door creaked open and I was left to whisper sweet nothings to myself. Stammered reassurances and recollections of ten minutes ago. Then, whole. Now, shattered and left to collect my underwear and strewn shards of self-esteem. My insides would never forgive me.

===========================

"Pimping ain't art...but grabbing guns is?!"
(c) Menphyel

"I've come to realise that I never loved Hip-Hop as a whole,
just a particular era that happened at the same time as
I was actively checking actively for new music."

sickening. and thats what made it so potent. this piece was a mark of your will, and i am left speechless thinking about your courage. how you been doing fam?

peace.

let's play ping pong ■

making moves.

===========================

"Pimping ain't art...but grabbing guns is?!"
(c) Menphyel

"I've come to realise that I never loved Hip-Hop as a whole,
just a particular era that happened at the same time as
I was actively checking actively for new music."

Respect. Likewise...it's not easy, but gotta start making moves indeed. I love you homie, hit me here or on AIM if you need to escape reality for a minute. daps

peace.

let's play ping pong ■

you already know I've been there........so I admire your strength not only to get through it but to write about it & share with us. I know how hard it was for me to write/post. (Actually I took my piece out of the archive so its not here any more.) But just know that this was felt.....madd respect!

Keep Flowin'.........

_________________________________________
"Too weird to live.... too rare to die..."

IG: KnowOne215 | PS+ ID: KnowOne215

powerful response from y'all makes me even hesitant to say this, but this was a creative work on my part. fiction. i've been trying, ever since i put it down to figure out where exactly i pulled this from or y i even wrote it 1st-person perspective...& haven't yet come up w/ answers. after writing it, abt a week later...i had got admitted into a fiction workshop class & the teacher said smthg that stuck w/ me: "don't write what you know. write, instead, what you don't know you know." so i guess this is what this was...

i've never had this exact experience before (though in some ways, mine does parallel it)...but the mere fact that it seemed pulled from real life to all of u (& others who've read it) i guess is a testament to its validity. thanks people. for the support shown especially.

pCe.

===========================

"Pimping ain't art...but grabbing guns is?!"
(c) Menphyel

"I've come to realise that I never loved Hip-Hop as a whole,
just a particular era that happened at the same time as
I was actively checking actively for new music."

damnit man. i been holding back tears all friggin day. im still tearing up. damn...gotta go.

peace.

let's play ping pong ■

well I'm impressed.

_________________________________________
"Too weird to live.... too rare to die..."

IG: KnowOne215 | PS+ ID: KnowOne215

Definately tugged on my heartstrings... I'm extremely impressed. well done.

"To be a poet is a condition, not a profession."
- Robert Frost

http://inevitabletruth.blogspot.com/
http://www.lulu.com/content/187759
http://www.hdfest.com/Barry/allreviewsbarry.html
http://wishbonec.wordpress.com/

Nice to see your words gracing the page once again, Fon! -- *smiles*

A guitar string vibrating, a measure of my soul, a breech in the silence --
I've always felt like words come through me & I write them down... they have no master --- gsquared ♥

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/2/photosynthesis_music.htm

Vicarious or not this is a brave post, well executed the imagery is vivid and physical one can hear the bed on their ceiling or even feel it under their ass... shit fam.... strong ish real strong.

mmm
powerful.
i just sat for a while after i read it.
great writing

___________________________
-Phyllis-


"Honeybees are social insects and live in colonies. Each colony is a family unit, comprising a single, egg-laying female or queen and her many sterile daughters called workers. The workers cooperate in the food gathering, nest building and rearing the offspring. Males are reared only at the times of year when their presence is required."
- Bees of the World
HA, power to the women of the world!

eyo....they teaching good stuff down ther in that ther class ...you keep up the work ...made me want to hurt something

sig.~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Guess who's Back

I don't really know what to say but I didn't want to say nothing. Does that make sense? This definitely hit close to home and took me to another place. I wish I could express how I feel right now.
This was phenomenal though... especially to be fiction.


“I have had to experience so much stupidity, so many vices, so much error, so much nausea, disillusionment and sorrow, just in order to become a child again and begin anew. But it was right that it should be so: my eyes and heart acclaim it. I had to experience despair, I had to sink to the greatest mental depths, to thoughts of suicide, in order to experience grace, to hear Om again, to sleep deeply again and to awaken refreshed again. I had to become a fool again in order to find Atman in myself. I had to sin in order to live again. Whither will my path yet lead me? This path is stupid, it goes in spirals, perhaps in circles, but whichever way it goes, I follow it.” Siddhartha- Herman Hesse

"Poetry is an orphan of silence. The words never quite equal the experience behind them."
-Charles Simic

"Unless, this
very world is a trash bin, and I am just waiting for
someone to find me so I
can be recycled." InspiredFree

Register to vote,please?

www.yourvotematters.org
www.iwanttovote.com

Lesley

i wanted to stop reading but i couldn't
you had me by the throat from the beginning

you've grown...
**************************************
"...really if you are at all alive as an artist, you are somewhere else, other than where you where, almost constantly."

Arveyda

"the animals can remember; for like sight, memory is renewed at every birth. But our language they will never speak; not from lack of intelligence, but from the different construction of their speaking apparatus. In the world of man, someone must speak for them. And that is why, in a nutshell,...goddesses and witches exist."

Miss Lissie

I believe in losing gracefully...and plotting revenge quietly.

BigReg

**************************************
http://osunyoyin.wordpress.com

http://pinterest.com/osunyoyin/

on here...

although I keep up with you... "on there (ur diary)."


This could not beat me. He couldn't; not even in all his grunting, thrusting glory. But gosh, it hurt...so much more than physically. The guttural whispers in my ear were unintelligible; as devoid of meaning as his eyes had become. Back then, charming and curious, now they were just blank, cavernous orbs hanging in a twisted nightmare masquerading as his face. He was a dread. The word seemed so fitting now, as the thick tendrils from his head whiplashed mercilessly around my face, obscuring his own with leaping shadows

have u been writing even tho you haven't been posting? and I'm not talking about just in your blog. because if not, u've still got it, and it's great to see, it never left... Always a pleasure. Peace~






=========================
If there's a to
read, but it hasn't been written yet,
then you must write it. ©Toni Morrison

------------------------------
my work
http://meetmsmindful.wordpress.com
http://www.lulu.com/content/7598631
http://evan-roth.com/grey.php

that was my first response then decided to read your responses to everything else, so thank you in advance for the explanation.

very vivid read.

peace,

n.

ps check ur inbox.

==================================

"I'm a curbside prophet with my hand in my pocket and I'm waiting for my rocket to come." - Jason Mraz

"Conformity is the refuge of a stagnant mind."

i enjoyed this read man.

Album Comming Never

gosh
sweet nothings
self-esteem

we didnt have to hear/see the word self-esteem
it was there
u showed, but then u told

bad boy
bad girl
not sure which you are

o
&
i dunno
about the formatting here
it just looks big

i just want chu to know
how i feel
how i feel

>gosh

i'm on the fence abt this one...it's the way she would speak, as i imagined her...& i also imagined her thinking her thoughts in the same manner as she'd speak. it brings her & her nature/tendencies in2 the pCe in a way "it hurt...so much more than physically" couldn't by itself. i think the particular nature of the exclamation however is what ppl might take offense 2 -- most would rather profanity(in my fiction workshop yesterday i was actually told abt another story "add more profanity! there is none!")...*shrug*. my character(s) do(es)n't swear.

>sweet nothings
>self-esteem
>
>we didnt have to hear/see the word self-esteem
>it was there
>u showed, but then u told

that was spot on. i'm tweaking it as far as that. i'm getting better @ leaving the telling out. in the moment of abstraction, i got carried away w/ this pCe tho...hence the inclusion of things like that.

>bad boy
>bad girl
>not sure which you are

boy...
experimenting w/ words & imagination, 2 take me places i've actually never been. though from some of the responses, it's actually hard (4 some) 2 believe that.

>o
>&
>i dunno
>about the formatting here
>it just looks big

word. i haven't changed it any from usual posting font/typeface. it's meant 2b a story. 350 word limit, single-spaced on the page. wasn't meant as a poem or really as a post, so that might be where & why the format appears iffy. thanks 4 a lot 4 giving more than the standard bland pat on the back. u always do...

pCe.

===========================

"Pimping ain't art...but grabbing guns is?!"
(c) Menphyel

"I've come to realise that I never loved Hip-Hop as a whole,
just a particular era that happened at the same time as
I was actively checking actively for new music."

eli


dint u used to have another
okp name?


i know u as sumthing else i think
but i know this name too

i just want chu to know
how i feel
how i feel

Then, cool.... Now, type sick on the stomach.

Good job.

~~~~~~~~~~~~
Gotta Hotter Ink Blotter
~~~~~~~~~~~~

yeah. mos def. felt thoroughly.
beautifully depicted.
i swear, i felt it.
in my stomach, and with an after taste.
keep on, warrior.

----------------------------------------
"Life is 10 percent condition and 90 percent response -- that's something my father used to say -- it's not the situation, it's how you respond to it." - Mos Def

I feel so unworthy of praising this, but holy shit! this was remarkable. I just want to cry and hug that girl. Jesus...

whoooo.

dude

i am staring at this computer screen like a complete dummy.

you push the pen harder than most men

and it's all there in black and white.

peace.
slim

-----
"You Sensitive Bastard", Rob Sturma's latest book of poems, is available directly from the author. It's a pretty book with a real ISBN number and everything.

www.myspace.com/robsturma

quite possibly the most gripping out of body/into body experience i've read!

---/
--/
-/
/

This piece really gets better and better every time I read it. You are such a valuable asset to your class. Hope you're feeling better. Chances are you'll be seeing this soon.

best.

God is faithful (c) Lauryn Hill

--------------------------------------------
"Their rims were high and awesome..." --Ezekiel 1:18

"One Monkey don't stop the show" --Black Thought in The Seed 2.0

"And anyone who does not carry his cross and follow me cannot be my disciple." --Luke

It's not that often we get to see a Foneticcus masterpCe floatin' around! -- ;^)

Gotta hold on 4 as long as it takes 4 him 2 write another one! -- *wink*

A guitar string vibrating, a measure of my soul, a breech in the silence --
I've always felt like words come through me & I write them down... they have no master --- gsquared ♥

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/2/photosynthesis_music.htm

this should be archived.

we'll see no better example of empathy expressed through a story.

---i'm here---

"...do what scares you..." -- l. varela

*Pretty Pweeeeeze*

A guitar string vibrating, a measure of my soul, a breech in the silence --
I've always felt like words come through me & I write them down... they have no master --- gsquared ♥

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/2/photosynthesis_music.htm

high complement i really have no words to say.

thank.

you.

gosh.

===========================

"Pimping ain't art...but grabbing guns is?!"
(c) Menphyel

"I've come to realise that I never loved Hip-Hop as a whole,
just a particular era that happened at the same time as
I was actively checking actively for new music."

I liked it. It was written really well. I was there in that room and I didn't like it either. Very good.

*I'm hella hella sexy*

Check your INBOX -- And then -- PLEASE ARCHIVE THIS! -- ;^)



(((THIRD REQUEST)))

A guitar string vibrating, a measure of my soul, a breech in the silence --
I've always felt like words come through me & I write them down... they have no master --- gsquared ♥

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/2/photosynthesis_music.htm

...props, very moving, read this a while back and thought I had responded...peace...

http://www.GaryPatrickGarry.com

"I'm stalling in flight
Hovering over horizons
Waiting for night"

"My turn to speak in tongues"
--Photosynthesis

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/2/photosynthesis_music.htm

sht is too deep for me to browse through... i'll be back.

~MUSE

...
..
.

Speak and it shall manifest
Breathe and it shall live
Love and it shall triumph
Give and it shall never be
lost... ever... - MarcArthur
St. Juste

"not one voice unheard" -
VOICES NYC (Brooklyn, NY)

HALLELU YAHWEH! AMEN