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Subject: "August Artist Of The Month: Paperdollpoet & Mindful" This topic is locked.
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KnowOne
Charter member
39942 posts
Sun Aug-01-04 10:32 AM

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"August Artist Of The Month: Paperdollpoet & Mindful"
Sun Aug-01-04 10:33 AM

  

          

Never thought the day would come....we in for a real treat fam......so lets show our luv & prepare to get blessed!



"what more can I say" -s.carter



.....

_________________________________________
"Too weird to live.... too rare to die..."

IG: KnowOne215 | PS+ ID: KnowOne215

  

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Topic Outline
Subject Author Message Date ID
*smile*
Aug 01st 2004
1
RE: Congratulations to both ladies,
Aug 01st 2004
2
RE: August Artist Of The Month: Paperdollpoet & Mindful
Aug 01st 2004
3
congrats to you both -- great complimentary skills.
Aug 01st 2004
4
YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!!!
Aug 01st 2004
5
congrats...
PetraP
Aug 01st 2004
6
wow
Aug 01st 2004
7
lmao!!!!!
Aug 02nd 2004
22
RE: August Artist Of The Month: Paperdollpoet & Mindful
Aug 01st 2004
8
congrats...
Aug 01st 2004
9
dope!
Aug 02nd 2004
10
*ahem* *taps mic*
Aug 02nd 2004
11
RE: *ahem* *taps mic*
Aug 02nd 2004
12
so this made me cry...cause her writing
Aug 02nd 2004
15
CoSign...
Aug 02nd 2004
19
b/c this is me
Aug 02nd 2004
17
RE: *ahem* *taps mic*
Aug 03rd 2004
40
im sendin this to her...wow..just wow..
Aug 03rd 2004
41
that was gorgeous
Aug 09th 2004
71
yeah, tre
Aug 14th 2004
87
RE: *ahem* *taps mic*
Aug 28th 2004
146
for doll house and dress up and soap operas and love so
Aug 02nd 2004
13
my ghetto superman
Aug 02nd 2004
14
I must agree with Mindful...
Aug 04th 2004
44
very much so
Aug 09th 2004
72
holy fuck
Aug 14th 2004
85
RE: for doll house and dress up and soap operas and lov
Aug 27th 2004
130
Paperdollpoet
Aug 02nd 2004
16
Mary,me: what love looks like at 14 / dollhouse part 2
Aug 02nd 2004
18
RE: Mary,me: what love looks like at 14 / dollhouse par
Aug 02nd 2004
20
the most appropriate word for this to me is...
Aug 02nd 2004
23
but we continued...
Aug 16th 2004
94
RE: Mary,me: what love looks like at 14 / dollhouse par
Aug 28th 2004
156
awesome
Aug 02nd 2004
21
mistake---I
Aug 02nd 2004
24
wow....
Aug 02nd 2004
25
so i figured i'll be up & all thru here this month
Aug 02nd 2004
27
RE: mistake---I
Aug 04th 2004
45
*sigh*
Aug 09th 2004
73
PainFULLY Nice --
Aug 10th 2004
76
RE: pass me the alka seltzer...
Aug 16th 2004
95
RE: mistake---I
Aug 27th 2004
131
i'm glad i stumbled in here for these two
Aug 02nd 2004
26
I Already Knew --
Aug 03rd 2004
28
just wanted to congratulate u both
Aug 03rd 2004
29
*nods*
Aug 03rd 2004
34
A hero ain't nothin but a sandwich
Aug 03rd 2004
30
u found the words
Aug 03rd 2004
35
this really feels like
Aug 14th 2004
86
RE: A hero ain't nothin but a sandwich
Aug 28th 2004
134
a blog entry
Aug 03rd 2004
31
nice.
Aug 03rd 2004
33
this was touching...
Aug 04th 2004
42
RE: a blog entry
Aug 05th 2004
58
RE: wonderful,
Aug 28th 2004
132
aw man, cats finna get SCHOOLED.
Aug 03rd 2004
32
say word!
Aug 03rd 2004
37
sweet...
Aug 03rd 2004
36
RE: August Artist Of The Month: Paperdollpoet & Mindful
Aug 03rd 2004
38
CONGRATULATIONS!!!!
Aug 03rd 2004
39
Beautiful!
Aug 04th 2004
43
whaigondo?
Aug 04th 2004
46
nice piece....
Aug 04th 2004
47
addicted to coffee, much?
Aug 04th 2004
49
its chai tea.
Aug 04th 2004
54
RE: whaigondo?
Aug 05th 2004
57
RE: Strong Words
Aug 28th 2004
133
truly amazing
lyrical CD
Aug 04th 2004
48
mistake---II (michael andrew loadholt)
Aug 04th 2004
50
mother is another label..
Aug 04th 2004
51
seen...
Aug 16th 2004
97
RE: mistake---II (michael andrew loadholt)
Aug 28th 2004
135
RE: August Artist Of The Month: Paperdollpoet & Mindful
Aug 04th 2004
52
i admire both of y'all creativity and work
Aug 04th 2004
53
Now LOOK You Two!!!
Aug 04th 2004
55
this aughta be interesting
Aug 05th 2004
56
backwards groove: a history of break ups and break dow
Aug 06th 2004
59
listening to Patti LaBelle "If Only U knew"
Aug 06th 2004
60
cause i need to learn to dance alone
Aug 06th 2004
63
RE: backwards groove: a history of break ups and break
Aug 08th 2004
66
RE: backwards groove: a history of break ups and break
Aug 28th 2004
136
RE: August Artist Of The Month: Paperdollpoet & Mindful
Aug 06th 2004
61
fuck buddy
Aug 06th 2004
62
RE: fuck buddy
Aug 07th 2004
65
i'd love to see
Aug 14th 2004
88
RE: fuck buddy
Aug 28th 2004
137
Congratulations MindFUL and PaperDollPoet!!
Aug 06th 2004
64
for amiia
Aug 09th 2004
67
now, i'm your mother
Aug 09th 2004
68
RE: for amiia
Aug 09th 2004
69
CoSign
Aug 19th 2004
111
RE: for amiia
Aug 28th 2004
138
RE: August Artist Of The Month: Paperdollpoet & Mindful
Aug 09th 2004
70
blog entry # 2
Aug 10th 2004
74
Ouch! -- And Then -- Ahhhhhhh --
Aug 10th 2004
75
u are very brave for this...
Aug 10th 2004
78
wow
Aug 14th 2004
90
RE: blog entry # 2
Aug 28th 2004
140
ruined (1 of my favorite pieces of work)
Aug 10th 2004
77
this is one of my favorites as well.
Aug 11th 2004
79
i remember this one
Aug 14th 2004
89
RE: ruined (1 of my favorite pieces of work)
Aug 16th 2004
98
RE: ruined (1 of my favorite pieces of work)
Aug 28th 2004
141
7300 poems for my mother.
Aug 12th 2004
80
Very touching and poignant.
Aug 26th 2004
126
RE: Incredible....
Aug 28th 2004
142
balance of breath/beats/beginnings/body langue/boundrie
Aug 12th 2004
81
*smiles*
Aug 13th 2004
84
RE: balance of breath/beats/beginnings/body langue/boun
Aug 28th 2004
143
RE: balance of breath/beats/beginnings/body langue/boun
clean dave
Aug 31st 2004
176
for samo
Aug 12th 2004
82
RE: for samo
Aug 13th 2004
83
RE: for samo
Aug 28th 2004
144
thnk goodness I left GD for a minute
Aug 15th 2004
91
Mistake III (maurice s. loadholt)
Aug 16th 2004
92
Beautifully Painful --
Aug 16th 2004
96
RE: Mistake III (maurice s. loadholt)
Aug 28th 2004
145
can't miss this...
Aug 16th 2004
93
*giggles* u are so silly
Aug 16th 2004
99
same cell.
Aug 17th 2004
100
i'm glad u posted this
Aug 18th 2004
101
*speechless*
Aug 19th 2004
110
goose bumps
Aug 21st 2004
114
RE: same cell.
Aug 28th 2004
147
Belgian Waffles Series
Aug 18th 2004
102
Belgian Waffles Series
Aug 18th 2004
103
Belgian Waffles Series
Aug 18th 2004
104
Belgian Waffles Series
Aug 18th 2004
105
Belgian Waffles Series
Aug 18th 2004
106
Belgian Waffles Series
Aug 18th 2004
107
RE: Belgian Waffles Series pt. 6
Aug 28th 2004
155
RE: Belgian Waffles Series pt. 5
Aug 28th 2004
154
RE: Belgian Waffles Series pt.4
Aug 28th 2004
153
RE: Belgian Waffles Series pt.3
Aug 28th 2004
152
RE: Belgian Waffles Series pt.2
Aug 28th 2004
151
nice to see this all in one place.....
Aug 19th 2004
109
co-sign
Aug 21st 2004
115
      this is my favorite series... *nods* nm
Aug 21st 2004
116
RE: Belgian Waffles Series pt. 1
Aug 28th 2004
150
bout time
Aug 18th 2004
108
let me pay my respect
Aug 19th 2004
112
ya'll aint gonna catch me...
Aug 20th 2004
113
striking out
Aug 22nd 2004
117
sometimes i wonder
Aug 24th 2004
118
RE: striking out
Aug 28th 2004
148
"this is based on a true story"
Aug 24th 2004
119
toot toot
Aug 25th 2004
120
to never fall in love with a poet again
Aug 25th 2004
121
mayne!
Aug 25th 2004
122
and u know i would be
Aug 25th 2004
123
for me, the words coax themselves
Aug 26th 2004
129
was nodding around here:
Aug 25th 2004
124
:)
Aug 26th 2004
127
RE: "this is based on a true story"
Aug 28th 2004
149
The Worst Kind of Betrayal
Aug 25th 2004
125
Damn girl!
Aug 26th 2004
128
RE: Chilling..
Aug 28th 2004
139
RE: Well...Paperdollpoet & Mindful
Aug 28th 2004
157
i am humbled.
Aug 29th 2004
166
      he is... or shall i say his words...
Aug 29th 2004
167
The War has just Begun Series
Aug 29th 2004
158
The War has just Begun Series
Aug 29th 2004
159
The War has just Begun Series
Aug 29th 2004
160
      The War has just Begun Series
Aug 29th 2004
161
      The War has just Begun Series
Aug 29th 2004
162
      RE: The War has just Begun Series pt. 5
Aug 29th 2004
165
           *sighs*
Aug 29th 2004
168
                RE: hehe.
Aug 30th 2004
170
      RE: The War has just Begun Series pt.4
Aug 29th 2004
164
      RE: The War has just Begun Series, pt. 3
Aug 29th 2004
163
still can't beleive....
Aug 31st 2004
173
CONGRATS...
Aug 29th 2004
169
Last Words --
Aug 30th 2004
171
RE: August Artist Of The Month: Paperdollpoet & Mindful
Aug 30th 2004
172
thank you
Aug 31st 2004
174
my thanks
Aug 31st 2004
175

soulchild
Member since Dec 25th 2003
1272 posts
Sun Aug-01-04 10:46 AM

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1. "*smile*"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

congrats.
i'm excited for this one

soul.


  

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BarTek
Member since Nov 10th 2002
51250 posts
Sun Aug-01-04 11:32 AM

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2. "RE: Congratulations to both ladies,"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

This should be lovely indeed!

Peace.

let's play ping pong ■

  

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PhotoSynthesis
Charter member
16101 posts
Sun Aug-01-04 01:42 PM

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3. "RE: August Artist Of The Month: Paperdollpoet & Mindful"
In response to Reply # 0


          

Blessings come in many shapes & forms! -- *smiles*


On this SUNDAY afternoon -- I'm truly grateful for THIS "Double Blessing" -- For the whole month of August -- ~AND~ -- for the ARCHIVE's throne -- ;^)


Thank you in advance -- For your blessings -- And thanx Paperdoll for coercing Ms. Mindful to share her PEACE with us! -- *wink*


(((Carry On)))

A guitar string vibrating, a measure of my soul, a breech in the silence --
I've always felt like words come through me & I write them down... they have no master --- gsquared ♥

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/2/photosynthesis_music.htm

  

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Natalie
Member since May 06th 2003
2162 posts
Sun Aug-01-04 05:51 PM

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4. "congrats to you both -- great complimentary skills."
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

and miss mind, i just hope you're willing to shine.

peace,

n.

==================================

"I'm a curbside prophet with my hand in my pocket and I'm waiting for my rocket to come." - Jason Mraz

"Conformity is the refuge of a stagnant mind."

  

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Revolt
Member since Apr 06th 2004
3661 posts
Sun Aug-01-04 06:13 PM

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5. "YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!!!"
In response to Reply # 0


          

Y'all are gonna blind us with your blaring, colorful words.

I love you two ladies like my own fam...can't wait to see what you both will drop Congrats! And nice to see Mindful come out to shine...

____________



"I'm nothing like me..." © KnowOne



"His harlotry, I actually learned to condone…

And…

Up to this day
I never see him anymore.
Heard whispers about
His gatherings,
Hundreds of ladies
Or even thousands
ready to swallow his
pour
-ing seedlings…
rain showers these women
bathed in, thinking
his semen was some kind
godly power.

I never got used to that.

Or him, being away from me.
But truly, who was I to
Try to capture him, solely?

He was owned by
Every damn female's sex
...in the city.

" ©.

"P.S. You don't have to read my shit just cuz I read yours...it was my pleasure."
© NoBle

The avy: HaShem Yeshua Mashiach.


  

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PetraP

Sun Aug-01-04 07:58 PM

  
6. "congrats..."
In response to Reply # 0


          

...to both of you. i know this is gonna be incredible!!

  

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Zin
Member since Jan 21st 2004
2972 posts
Sun Aug-01-04 08:05 PM

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7. "wow"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

i'm gald i went in july cause this is a hard act to follow

sig.~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Guess who's Back

  

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Instant Axis
Member since Nov 15th 2002
1953 posts
Mon Aug-02-04 04:08 PM

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22. "lmao!!!!!"
In response to Reply # 7


  

          

straight comedy

fuck a sig!!!


why MiracleRic thinks me and him clic aight, here's the reason, u real with yours, i am once i bring my guard down, we both stupid as hell, we both got our talents, want a lot of the same things, like a lot of the same things, we both

  

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InFluenCe
Member since Oct 19th 2004
1326 posts
Sun Aug-01-04 08:24 PM

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8. "RE: August Artist Of The Month: Paperdollpoet & Mindful"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

congrats to the both of you... it was well deserved, now just bring the heat =]

______________________
i try to practice my war like tactics, but in the clutch of your touch my armor just collapses - mighty mos def

www.myspace.com/methodicaleddie

  

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Morehouse
Member since Feb 25th 2003
7568 posts
Sun Aug-01-04 09:26 PM

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9. "congrats..."
In response to Reply # 0


  

          


much love to both of you

***********************************



***********************************
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=500290931


myself is sculptor of
your body’s idiom:
the musician of your wrists;
the poet who is afraid
only to mistranslate
a rhythm in your hair...
-E.E. Cummings

  

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Ezzsential
Charter member
11085 posts
Mon Aug-02-04 02:45 AM

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10. "dope!"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

both are extremely talented poets..
I hope that they collaborate!

Haven't seen work from mindful in a minute...



-Stephani
www.webspawner.com/users/delicateaurasoul/index.html

www.3kingsmusic.com < for spiritual hiphop
www.enneagraminstitute.com < for self-analysis
www.poetry.com < for haiku's/poetry contest, to copywrite your poems
www.hiphopinfinity.com < an awesome ughh site
I'm a H.E.R.B.
Holotyped Existance
Rhetoric Bound

You have the strength of Beowulf but cripple it because of your affinity for the monster
You have been sustaining yourself on the gruel of self-destruction for so long your stomach rejects the ambrosia of life
While the hero of your mind stands by without action while the monster of your emotions sever friendship like arteries under the knife~PG

"fingertips of sun
trace the edges of this room
I turn my face so
your leaving does not eclipse
your kiss on back of my neck"~Ambergirl

someday I won't have to tell myself the obvious
or pretend to be oblivious
~Robynwildchild

"pain is usually the source of my work. the way i have dealt with mental adversity is by embracing it, and allowing certain ideals to wash over my consciousness so that i could purge my pain."-tek

The new me is like: A woman killed in ruffles; falling to the ground with her hair spread out; her wrist secreting ambiant neon blood
Juggling the moon and stars in palms; with the flecks in the eyes turning globes confetti like yearns of non-existant love...
Running in barefoot brooks; with the moon arching its reflection up the aching backs where he holds onto my hips and sways me
my dreams are:
Renewing again amoungst the mating mossrocks stay satiated coining a pith in a breathy palms; so so sappy drenching dreary destiny to bloody toned walls
my heart calls: callused and waving kites colors hues meshing, please feel me- I'm so-so soft- scratching like cat napes, round and female with sun-dresses blowing passion.. kiss the wind swiveling tears on cheeks, the light beams behind my curls, I pose and bleeeeeeed with pain on my sleeve...
engulf: anger,sadness, happiness changing to squared rolling wheels, penetrate the projections of emotional mattresses... I feel open.. constantly.. dream of my transparent body unzipping my skin and stepping out of me.. and I run to cotton-candy padded fields and glow with bliss, and he will wait with his arms open- like that of jesus and view me- patiently...cuz he knows I tripped on my way there and I'm all bruised... ~ me



the colors were NEVER accurate!and people dont go thru people!


my music:
www.soundclick.com/sylana
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Brb8g8f18xE
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-NgNuVHrEKI

  

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mindful
Charter member
41306 posts
Mon Aug-02-04 04:52 AM

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11. "*ahem* *taps mic*"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

thanks you guys (*timidly adjusts stand). um. aulelei, get to posting...

for k. l. moore

the world ain't ready for
you. each word, each phrase,
the globe sits spinning,
afraid of what will come next.
u put sentences in chokeholds,
niggas quick to find cover,
sister/friend.
my gurl times 10. infinite
love bestows, rests within
my mind for you.

wanted to pen something in
ur honor, wanted to tell
u how much ur name
made an impact on my life---
but... the words never
come out the way a writer
wants them to.
and i struggle to find
precise descriptions of
my love for you, yet
i make circles my friends,
since i always end up
at the beginning.

and you will be reborn
soon. she or he will
write for you as well.
will grow to learn every word
webster has to offer---he or she
will gracefully bow and know
u've mothered the best
happening to your life.
and i can see you privately
coping with motherhood,
writing when u can,
speaking when its appropriate,
loving others who love you,
because that's only rite.

i'd shoot the moon
with a small squint of
my eyes if you
said your happiness would
come from it.
i'd lay down my words, wrap them
up and ship them to you
because that's what sisters
do. and i know now,
all that you have, all that you
own, u keep to self, because
there's always someone out
to take it.

"u're writing for the cosmos, girl."

and like hell, i am...

©Tremaine L. Loadholt











================
is all
got ©amel larrieux




------------------------------
my work
http://meetmsmindful.wordpress.com
http://www.lulu.com/content/7598631
http://evan-roth.com/grey.php

  

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soulchild
Member since Dec 25th 2003
1272 posts
Mon Aug-02-04 05:04 AM

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12. "RE: *ahem* *taps mic*"
In response to Reply # 11


  

          

i could hear this being performed.
and i could hear myself enjoying it.
yeah, nice ending too.

soul.


  

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clarion
Member since Jul 07th 2003
9469 posts
Mon Aug-02-04 05:53 AM

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15. "so this made me cry...cause her writing"
In response to Reply # 11


  

          

pushes me..she pushes me to think...so yea..for one of the few ppl who i know aint droppin a dime...her shit is gold...for my sis..

*snappin for u*

im so glad u came outta of ur shell tre..may God continue to bless u with words that fill the page..







..

  

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KnowOne
Charter member
39942 posts
Mon Aug-02-04 07:45 AM

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19. "CoSign..."
In response to Reply # 15


  

          

Co-effin-Sign.

_________________________________________
"Too weird to live.... too rare to die..."

IG: KnowOne215 | PS+ ID: KnowOne215

  

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paperdollpoet
Charter member
2238 posts
Mon Aug-02-04 07:10 AM

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17. "b/c this is me"
In response to Reply # 11


  

          

and i can see you privately
coping with motherhood,
writing when u can,
speaking when its appropriate,
loving others who love you,
because that's only rite.

you honored her so well...i'm glad to see that you aren't waiting for tragedy to remember her being...

just another day of missing a friend.

---
:: :: :: ::


i'll convert you & create gods between my knees
for your prayers to stay stashed in
wishes granted
if you rub it right
magic carpet rides will take you back to the beginning
i can make peter pan a man with my fairy dust
sweet musk flavored hymns will flow from your lips in testimony
pussy?
no no baby...this here
this HERE is heaven's flood gates
holding back the waters of your ancestors
come drink of me
wade in me
cause my body is the ship marcus garvey dreamt of
taking you home
lay down your picket signs of manhood & find peace in me
come be my construction paper & i'll finger paint myself into the fibers of you
stain happiness in the sleeves of all your shirts
wear your name like an engagment ring round my collar
if you ask me at the right time
i might just let you in my genes
but for now
i want to practice getting it right the first time
i want to leave some of me
hanging on to your semi hopeful romantic words of
"i'll call you when i get home"
& when you lean down to kiss me goodbye will taste sweeter
cause i'll know
my name floats in your air.

- from 'lover grow a goatee'

www.sheflypaper.com

  

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pOetiSa
Charter member
320 posts
Tue Aug-03-04 06:56 PM

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40. "RE: *ahem* *taps mic*"
In response to Reply # 11


          

the first time i met kiera . she left me weeks later riding along a chicago train . with her vibrance echoing along its rails . begging to be put into words

i didn't then . which makes me all the more happy that you did this . in the now . of all that she unfolds in soft accents and meanings that make you want to tear and rejoice with all that she holds behind that smile and seriousness belied by those eyes

yawl are gems . and more than due . cheers ladies


"I'm not a concept. Too many guys think I'm a concept or I complete them or I'm going to make them alive, but I'm just a fucked up girl who is looking for my own peace of mind. Don't assign me yours." - from Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind

..................

They should really let you edit out your old name for a new one on here.

  

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clarion
Member since Jul 07th 2003
9469 posts
Tue Aug-03-04 09:11 PM

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41. "im sendin this to her...wow..just wow.."
In response to Reply # 40


  

          

just to know that other ppl think about her--like i do.. makes me smile & this will cause her to smile too..just know that ur words--thoughts r truly welcomed...bless yall..seriously...

..

  

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_CanCan_
Charter member
posts
Mon Aug-09-04 04:37 PM

71. "that was gorgeous"
In response to Reply # 11


          

and i can see you privately
coping with motherhood,
writing when u can,
speaking when its appropriate,
loving others who love you,
because that's only rite.

  

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delsbrothergeorge
Charter member
4413 posts
Sat Aug-14-04 10:21 AM

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87. "yeah, tre"
In response to Reply # 11


          

that's what's up.

you're so strident in the way you love. i admire the hell out of that. and i can't fathom being able to express it as well as you do. particularly in this piece.

---i'm here---

"...do what scares you..." -- l. varela

  

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BarTek
Member since Nov 10th 2002
51250 posts
Sat Aug-28-04 04:28 PM

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146. "RE: *ahem* *taps mic*"
In response to Reply # 11


  

          

*Smile*

Peace.

let's play ping pong ■

  

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paperdollpoet
Charter member
2238 posts
Mon Aug-02-04 05:35 AM

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13. "for doll house and dress up and soap operas and love so"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

for doll house and dress up and soap operas and love songs and r-rated movies...


to be 14 again
i'd let you
sneak into my room once more
so you could watch me
stretch 'cross my full size bed
hiding teddy bears
in red lace lingerie
that wld fall off my shoulders when i laughed
trying to remember to put it back
when i'm finished
with you
just watch me
parade around the room in high heels too big
trying not to walk in my mother's shoes
yet stumbling over words
like
no
and
yes
and
wait
and
maybe...but...
you wld press my head down
so i wldn't have to speak
you was that deep
full grown man
and i was only a half moon
half my face buried in darkness
and with the other half i cld see
if i had your baby
it wld have good hair
cause the curls around your thighs were
smooth & loose
like you & me
sucking my stomach in
cause i ain't pregnant yet
so i shldn't be fat
this was before i learned how to hide sum weight
and stretch the truth with
p-h-a-t
back then
i just knew how to
suck
it
in
and stretch my arms over my head
and stretch my toes over the bed
and hold
it
in
cause you liked me
when i was stretched out and still tight
when i was loose and virgin like
you liked it when my 14 yr old voice would call you
daddy
cause you knew i hadn't gotten my period yet
so
we were safe
you could stay inside of me
but you didn't have to
stay
as long as i did
cause 14 year old gyrls don't
don't fk
they make pretend
and i never got the chance to lite candles
with you
never played mood music
or
gave baby oil massages
i never had the time
to lay in your chest and fall asleep
without listening for keys rattling in the front door
or feet coming up the staircase
we didn't even say goodbye
properly
where i would walk you out
and give you deep kisses on your mouth
and you would whisper
"i love you"
and we would stand in the door way
never wanting to leave
saying things like
"let's not say 'goodbye' lets just say 'see you later'"
shit i saw on tv
nawwwh
i just ended up
watching you
pull your jeans up from around your ankles
smooth out your tank top
lace up your shoes
and leap out my window like my ghetto superman
leaving with my magic
still shining on against your grin
but i didn't have time to miss it
or cry
b/c i had to put back
my mother's things
and turn 15.

© 2000 Aulelei Love

---
:: :: :: ::

www.sheflypaper.com

  

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mindful
Charter member
41306 posts
Mon Aug-02-04 05:43 AM

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14. "my ghetto superman"
In response to Reply # 13


  

          

and this poem still makes me sad...

just watch me
parade around the room in high heels too big
trying not to walk in my mother's shoes
yet stumbling over words
like
no
and
yes
and
wait
and
maybe...but...
you wld press my head down
so i wldn't have to speak
you was that deep
full grown man
and i was only a half moon
half my face buried in darkness
and with the other half i cld see
if i had your baby
it wld have good hair
cause the curls around your thighs were
smooth & loose
like you & me
sucking my stomach in
cause i ain't pregnant yet
so i shldn't be fat
this was before i learned how to hide sum weight
and stretch the truth with
p-h-a-t
back then
i just knew how to
suck
it
in

like tugging onto something u didn't have growing up, and sharing in it for hours on end, then... letting it all go, because... reality has a full time job... and the dream... is only part-time. i know u know of what i speak, cuz u know of how i speak...

*whew*

whoa... why did talib kweli's song "bringing back sweet memories," just pop up in my head...











================
is all
got ©amel larrieux




------------------------------
my work
http://meetmsmindful.wordpress.com
http://www.lulu.com/content/7598631
http://evan-roth.com/grey.php

  

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Imagination_7
Member since Jun 10th 2003
1580 posts
Wed Aug-04-04 05:18 AM

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44. "I must agree with Mindful..."
In response to Reply # 14


  

          

It gives me a melancholy feeling as well... because me and you girl, we are so alike. But the difference is you can express it all, let it out into the world... I just hold it in. But for whatever reason I cannot be free of it. Can't shake the shame off. What were you looking for lei? I know I was looking for love and comfort and warmth. The stuff I didn't get from my mother or father. I was looking for it with open legs and a wide open heart. You've inspired me lady... I'm writing today.
I sincerly have love and respect for you.

"Imagination is more important than knowledge. Knowledge is limited. Imagination encircles the world." - Albert Einstein


Lesley

  

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_CanCan_
Charter member
posts
Mon Aug-09-04 04:45 PM

72. "very much so"
In response to Reply # 14


          

>and this poem makes me sad...
>
i don't feel like elaborating, but i liked this.

  

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delsbrothergeorge
Charter member
4413 posts
Sat Aug-14-04 10:11 AM

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85. "holy fuck"
In response to Reply # 13


          

this is so ridiculously good. i felt like i was watching an excellent short film. the complexity of the scene is almost unparalleled. the hindsight isn't at all predictable or cliched -as it can often be with such subject matter.

i hope this has been (or will be) published. it's beyond impressive.

---i'm here---

"...do what scares you..." -- l. varela

  

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BarTek
Member since Nov 10th 2002
51250 posts
Fri Aug-27-04 08:29 PM

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130. "RE: for doll house and dress up and soap operas and lov"
In response to Reply # 13


  

          

very sad and confusing. I percieved a lot of devastating destruction. Through provoking too. Too many places for me to comprehend.
Peace.

let's play ping pong ■

  

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clarion
Member since Jul 07th 2003
9469 posts
Mon Aug-02-04 06:19 AM

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16. "Paperdollpoet"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

congrats sis...i know u will have our thoughts captivated...








..

  

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paperdollpoet
Charter member
2238 posts
Mon Aug-02-04 07:16 AM

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18. "Mary,me: what love looks like at 14 / dollhouse part 2"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

Mary,me: what love looks like at 14 or dollhouse part 2


the day i turned 14
my mother never made it home on time
to catch me
lighting birthday candles
around my bed
for him
and he
my gemini king
made me a cake
out of flowers and complications
cheap chocolates and promises
that layered itself on top
of me
and in reverse
i gave birth
to jesus
his savior
i
let him
wash his children's feet in
my river
not knowing that one day he'd
burn crosses in my womb
for power
but we continued to fuck
without lights
and i became a shadow
dancing on bare
walls
while he kept his socks on
afraid that if he stayed too long
i would get used
to having him stay
he wanted to come and go
so he began to
break condom
wrappers in staircases
making ass cheeks beat box
and hips pop lock
to his exit
i was his theme song
"who' pussy is this?"
my answer spread out
thin across pissy walls
with red magic
markings
so that every bitch knew
his name
was attached to mine
by arrow pierced hearts
and "4-eva"
i scratched his initials
on my skins with pencil erasers
erasing pieces of me
for him
gladly
cause this was love
i was his
virgin
he was mine
my baby
jesus
my personal mission
to recapture my father's spirit
he was my
potential
all that he couldn't see
i had already planned
to poke holes
in his dreams
to recreate
a life/time
of love
my baby
jesus
he would mary
me.
© 2001 Aulelei Love

---
:: :: :: ::


i'll convert you & create gods between my knees
for your prayers to stay stashed in
wishes granted
if you rub it right
magic carpet rides will take you back to the beginning
i can make peter pan a man with my fairy dust
sweet musk flavored hymns will flow from your lips in testimony
pussy?
no no baby...this here
this HERE is heaven's flood gates
holding back the waters of your ancestors
come drink of me
wade in me
cause my body is the ship marcus garvey dreamt of
taking you home
lay down your picket signs of manhood & find peace in me
come be my construction paper & i'll finger paint myself into the fibers of you
stain happiness in the sleeves of all your shirts
wear your name like an engagment ring round my collar
if you ask me at the right time
i might just let you in my genes
but for now
i want to practice getting it right the first time
i want to leave some of me
hanging on to your semi hopeful romantic words of
"i'll call you when i get home"
& when you lean down to kiss me goodbye will taste sweeter
cause i'll know
my name floats in your air.

- from 'lover grow a goatee'

www.sheflypaper.com

  

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soulchild
Member since Dec 25th 2003
1272 posts
Mon Aug-02-04 11:20 AM

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20. "RE: Mary,me: what love looks like at 14 / dollhouse par"
In response to Reply # 18


  

          

i read both this one and the first one.
the first one's presence of sadness and pain is a little more subtle than the second.

but both are beautiful

soul.


  

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mindful
Charter member
41306 posts
Mon Aug-02-04 05:02 PM

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23. "the most appropriate word for this to me is..."
In response to Reply # 18


  

          

extraordinary...


exemplary even... a good follow up to part 1... very good follow up...

but we continued to fuck
without lights
and i became a shadow
dancing on bare
walls
while he kept his socks on
afraid that if he stayed too long
i would get used
to having him stay
he wanted to come and go
so he began to
break condom
wrappers in staircases
making ass cheeks beat box
and hips pop lock
to his exit
i was his theme song
"who' pussy is this?"
my answer spread out
thin across pissy walls
with red magic
markings
so that every bitch knew
his name

*nods*











================
is all
got ©amel larrieux




------------------------------
my work
http://meetmsmindful.wordpress.com
http://www.lulu.com/content/7598631
http://evan-roth.com/grey.php

  

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MUSE
Charter member
3096 posts
Mon Aug-16-04 09:26 AM

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94. "but we continued..."
In response to Reply # 18


  

          

...to fuck without lights
and i became his shadow... ????!!!!#%!@#@%!!!

*sigh*

wow...

this was on point with its symbolic metaphors and
the flow was tight... very visual and easily internalized
as the reader's own reality... loved it...

this here is sikkk:

"and he
my gemini king
made me a cake
out of flowers and complications
cheap chocolates and promises
that layered itself on top
of me
and in reverse
i gave birth
to jesus
his savior"

woman... u already know...

Scorpio revolution in November... hit me up...

badazzz piece.

...
..
.

Speak and it shall manifest
Breathe and it shall live
Love and it shall triumph
Give and it shall never be
lost... ever... - MarcArthur
St. Juste

"not one voice unheard" -
VOICES NYC (Brooklyn, NY)

HALLELU YAHWEH! AMEN

  

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BarTek
Member since Nov 10th 2002
51250 posts
Sat Aug-28-04 05:08 PM

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156. "RE: Mary,me: what love looks like at 14 / dollhouse par"
In response to Reply # 18


  

          

i
let him
wash his children's feet in
my river
not knowing that one day he'd
burn crosses in my womb


That was very powerful, and painful. Your imagery is very potent. Thank you.

Peace.

let's play ping pong ■

  

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3rd i
Charter member
15831 posts
Mon Aug-02-04 12:38 PM

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21. "awesome"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

congrats!!!



Q: what's the deal with puerto rican lovers?

A:well for starters they do salsa and merengue in your pussy. that helps. (c) Damali

sistawitafro: dude i've been caught many-a-night by a lifetime movie

dude: i remember when i first started watchin it. i was back in petey b (petersburg) and all tha ladies as watchin it. i was like i aint about to watch a damn chick flick wit all of ya'll. next thing i know, i'm passin out tissues and talkin about "he wrong for that. he wrong for that."

From beginning to end no matter what if we are true to ourselves then how could any action be a sin to us-PG

www.myspace.com/3rd_i

3rd i: so u gonna be my child's god parent
Dawgeatah: i already have 3
3rd i: yeah but do u have a black one..like pokemon gotta catch them all.

i am a self-mutilator
of the worst kind...
(c)MyLife

  

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mindful
Charter member
41306 posts
Mon Aug-02-04 05:04 PM

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24. "mistake---I"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

at 17, opened legs
took in hard

d
i
c
k

u got what you wanted,
but aborted the
thoughts that came along
with the new
foundation. a mother at 18,
u only wanted him,
but got me instead...
and for every year
that passed
u hated me for "taking him
away" from u---
and i became

daddy's
little
gurl
with pigtails, and full smiles
and happy eyes, u never
wanted me in your spotlight,
and

at 23, ur little gurl
now 5, has her daddy's
nose, his ears, his eyes,
his smile, and u... want so much
for her to be u instead, but she
is not. i eased into
the shoes of adults
with each passing year,
because my soul was much
older,
and that killed you,
manipulation began with
him and ended with me.

at 33, ur little gurl now
15, the mother
u never were, u watch her
waste her youth years away,
because u were too busy living
out the youth you gave up.
late nite clubbing, weekend trips,
house parties, while she sits
at home with your children,
and the thought of returning,
seemed futile especially when the
nite life had a "no kids allowed" rule.
u gave up on her before
she even thought of leaving
you behind.

at 24, ur little gurl,
now a woman can look
at you and not feel ashamed,
b/c all the years of loving you,
all the hard work in getting along,
all the times wasted, but spent anyway,
has been one big mistake---
and it began with me.

©Tremaine L. Loadholt











================
is all
got ©amel larrieux




------------------------------
my work
http://meetmsmindful.wordpress.com
http://www.lulu.com/content/7598631
http://evan-roth.com/grey.php

  

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KnowOne
Charter member
39942 posts
Mon Aug-02-04 05:27 PM

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25. "wow...."
In response to Reply # 24


  

          

just.....wow.....

_________________________________________
"Too weird to live.... too rare to die..."

IG: KnowOne215 | PS+ ID: KnowOne215

  

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clarion
Member since Jul 07th 2003
9469 posts
Mon Aug-02-04 11:39 PM

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27. "so i figured i'll be up & all thru here this month"
In response to Reply # 24


  

          

& this deserves *hugs*

much courage writin this..

..

  

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Imagination_7
Member since Jun 10th 2003
1580 posts
Wed Aug-04-04 05:24 AM

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45. "RE: mistake---I"
In response to Reply # 24


  

          

Mindful... It amazes me how you continue to wade through the sea of emotions you have for your mother.
How strong you are. Truly wonderful.



"Imagination is more important than knowledge. Knowledge is limited. Imagination encircles the world." - Albert Einstein


Lesley

  

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_CanCan_
Charter member
posts
Mon Aug-09-04 04:57 PM

73. "*sigh*"
In response to Reply # 24


          

this brought tears to my eyes

I especially like how u dropped the word "dick" down the way u did.
"
d
i
c
k
"

AND

"
daddy's
little
gurl.
"
excellent. the format is perfect. The content is heartwrenching....for me anyway.

>at 17, opened legs
>took in hard
>
>d
>i
>c
>k
>
>u got what you wanted,
>but aborted the
>thoughts that came along
>with the new
>foundation. a mother at 18,
>u only wanted him,
>but got me instead...
>and for every year
>that passed
>u hated me for "taking him
>away" from u---
>and i became
>
>daddy's
>little
>gurl
>with pigtails, and full smiles
>and happy eyes, u never
>wanted me in your spotlight,
>and
>
>at 23, ur little gurl
>now 5, has her daddy's
>nose, his ears, his eyes,
>his smile, and u... want so much
>for her to be u instead, but she
>is not. i eased into
>the shoes of adults
>with each passing year,
>because my soul was much
>older,
>and that killed you,
>manipulation began with
>him and ended with me.
>
>at 33, ur little gurl now
>15, the mother
>u never were, u watch her
>waste her youth years away,
>because u were too busy living
>out the youth you gave up.
>late nite clubbing, weekend trips,
>house parties, while she sits
>at home with your children,
>and the thought of returning,
>seemed futile especially when the
>nite life had a "no kids allowed" rule.
>u gave up on her before
>she even thought of leaving
>you behind.
>
>at 24, ur little gurl,
>now a woman can look
>at you and not feel ashamed,
>b/c all the years of loving you,
>all the hard work in getting along,
>all the times wasted, but spent anyway,
>has been one big mistake---
>and it began with me.
>
>©Tremaine L. Loadholt
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>================
> is all
> got ©amel larrieux
>
>

  

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PhotoSynthesis
Charter member
16101 posts
Tue Aug-10-04 01:18 PM

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76. "PainFULLY Nice --"
In response to Reply # 24


          

I've come to expect that from you over the years, tho! -- (A lil' bit of pain, wrapped up in emotion -- wrapped up in hope -- wrapped up in life's issues)


*Raw & Real*

A guitar string vibrating, a measure of my soul, a breech in the silence --
I've always felt like words come through me & I write them down... they have no master --- gsquared ♥

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/2/photosynthesis_music.htm

  

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MUSE
Charter member
3096 posts
Mon Aug-16-04 09:31 AM

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95. "RE: pass me the alka seltzer..."
In response to Reply # 24


  

          

...this one got me in the gut.

wow...

im not a mother, but this felt
like it was addressed to mother
with a quick glimpse of how she looks
outside of her view of living free and wild...and
the impact it has on others...esp her child...

brilliant work, mindful... loved the read.

"... i eased into
the shoes of adults
with each passing year,
because my soul was much
older,
and that killed you,"

ouch.

no more words.

thnk u.

MUSE

...
..
.

Speak and it shall manifest
Breathe and it shall live
Love and it shall triumph
Give and it shall never be
lost... ever... - MarcArthur
St. Juste

"not one voice unheard" -
VOICES NYC (Brooklyn, NY)

HALLELU YAHWEH! AMEN

  

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BarTek
Member since Nov 10th 2002
51250 posts
Fri Aug-27-04 08:35 PM

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131. "RE: mistake---I"
In response to Reply # 24


  

          

dissensitized destruction is what I have learned from this piece. in.peace

let's play ping pong ■

  

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iagoali
Charter member
27248 posts
Mon Aug-02-04 07:26 PM

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26. "i'm glad i stumbled in here for these two"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

my faves.

DROP.
YOUR.
SWORD.

BITCH.

  

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PhotoSynthesis
Charter member
16101 posts
Tue Aug-03-04 02:14 AM

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28. "I Already Knew --"
In response to Reply # 0


          

The two of you -- 2~gether -- Would flow in unison with a blended synergy to bounce off each other -- (Almost as ONE) -- Because your styles are so similar -- So gifted -- So unique -- And your stories/prose/words are so raw & real!

I realize this month has just started, but we could bottle this thread and make millions! -- *smiles*


I'll check ya out & respond -- individually -- as time allows -- But I AM peeping -- Just wanted U to know! -- ;^)

A guitar string vibrating, a measure of my soul, a breech in the silence --
I've always felt like words come through me & I write them down... they have no master --- gsquared ♥

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/2/photosynthesis_music.htm

  

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LexM
Charter member
28342 posts
Tue Aug-03-04 03:04 AM

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29. "just wanted to congratulate u both"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

...i may not get much time to read, but the honor is well deserved.

enjoy.

~~~~
http://omidele.blogspot.com/
http://rahareiki.tumblr.com/
http://seatofbliss.blogspot.com/

  

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mindful
Charter member
41306 posts
Tue Aug-03-04 04:54 AM

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34. "*nods*"
In response to Reply # 29


  

          

thanks lexie...

whew, i pulled that out from the olden days, didn't i? lol...













================
is all
got ©amel larrieux




------------------------------
my work
http://meetmsmindful.wordpress.com
http://www.lulu.com/content/7598631
http://evan-roth.com/grey.php

  

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paperdollpoet
Charter member
2238 posts
Tue Aug-03-04 03:35 AM

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30. "A hero ain't nothin but a sandwich"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

A hero ain’t nothin but a sandwich.
A poem for Bobby.


You said all i needed to survive was
Baking soda
A small pot
A mayonnaise jar with the label peeled off
A razor blade
& Cocaine

& your laughter filled the small spaces of my mother’s kitchen
while your war ridden fingers made room on the curry stained counters
for the family heirloom of struggle
you were getting ready to pass off to me
as if I were your real child
cause this was all you had to give
that wasn’t leased from rent-a-center or borrowed from big rob
this was all you had to give
as a graduation present wrapped up in fear that I wasn’t street smart enough
to make it on my own
& I am all you had to give this to
cause my momma’s womb was dented and torn before you
wiped your feet on the welcome mat.

Gold tooth shining thru your lips like wisdom
reflecting off the curve of a spoon
that I tried to hold steady in my hand
shoving honey nut cheerios down my throat
to pacify my inner child who wore D.A.R.E t shirts
& smiles with empty spaces for teeth
I didn’t want you to see my pupils shiver
so I lowered my eyes to the fairy dust mounds
in front of me
& tired to watch the door
& the razor blade
cut thru after school specials of right & wrong
at the same time
i held my breath
afraid that if I breathed too hard I would send a hurricane of worries
across the counter
messing up the perfect lines & the moment
cause this was all I had been given
that wasn’t attached to a child support check written in blue guilt
this was all I had been given
that wasn’t once a year advice from a stranger with eyes and dimples like mine
& you were all that I had to get this from
cause my momma worked two jobs too many before you
were made boyfriend/baby sitter/ under study father.

“Now, don’t go telling your momma I taught you this shit.”

& I never did
tell her
or tell you
before you left
that I always keep baking soda
in my cabinets
or how once or twice while I was getting chicken ready for frying
my fingers would dance in the flour
for too long
ice skating your perfect lines
along my own curry stained counters
struggling
to figure out how to rob Peter
to pay Paul
but Bobby
I’m still not street smart enough
to understand why you couldn’t survive
with us
without selling your He-Man sword for cheap escapes
that lingered in your blood stream
for days
we tried not to give up on you but somewhere along the way
we forgot how to make something out of nothing
and that’s all you had to give us
but we did try & maybe we were to blame
cause
we heard you found life in between the bloody thighs
of a another woman & new born eyes.

That’s when my mom found life in was sitting on the porch
drinking her beer
trying to find something to say to god
& just like it had been a sign
one day a neighbor came by & told us that you said
“I got something to live for now.”

& both of us cried
cause that all we had left to give
your memory.

---
:: :: :: ::


www.sheflypaper.com

  

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mindful
Charter member
41306 posts
Tue Aug-03-04 05:06 AM

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35. "u found the words"
In response to Reply # 30


  

          

shoving honey nut cheerios down my throat
to pacify my inner child who wore D.A.R.E t shirts
& smiles with empty spaces for teeth
I didn’t want you to see my pupils shiver
so I lowered my eyes to the fairy dust mounds
in front of me
& tired to watch the door
& the razor blade
cut thru after school specials of right & wrong
at the same time
i held my breath
afraid that if I breathed too hard I would send a hurricane of worries
across the counter
messing up the perfect lines & the moment
cause this was all I had been given
that wasn’t attached to a child support check written in blue guilt
this was all I had been given
that wasn’t once a year advice from a stranger with eyes and dimples like mine
& you were all that I had to get this from
cause my momma worked two jobs too many before you
were made boyfriend/baby sitter/ under study father.

u found the words...











================
is all
got ©amel larrieux




------------------------------
my work
http://meetmsmindful.wordpress.com
http://www.lulu.com/content/7598631
http://evan-roth.com/grey.php

  

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delsbrothergeorge
Charter member
4413 posts
Sat Aug-14-04 10:18 AM

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86. "this really feels like"
In response to Reply # 30


          

a nod to "poppa was a rolling stone".

it's an excellent piece of writing.

---i'm here---

"...do what scares you..." -- l. varela

  

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BarTek
Member since Nov 10th 2002
51250 posts
Sat Aug-28-04 12:26 PM

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134. "RE: A hero ain't nothin but a sandwich"
In response to Reply # 30


  

          

This was a very visual and naked piece. I am not quite sure what to say, but, your words are very powerful and your ability to capture emotions, events, and people, is truly a gift.

Thank you.

let's play ping pong ■

  

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paperdollpoet
Charter member
2238 posts
Tue Aug-03-04 03:54 AM

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31. "a blog entry"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

6.20.2004

just maybe...

you typed my name in the blank search space on yahoo or google. expecting more than you found. maybe you just wanted to find me. to check on me from a far because apologies might be hard for you to utter...still.

perhaps you've been keeping up with my life. my poetry. stealing glimpses of what i look like now. smiling when you see my dimples still intact. maybe i make your hands find your temples as you try to make sense of who i've become. watching me curse. be unlady like. confess my heartaches. Exploit my human mistakes.

maybe you held your breath when i wrote tearful words about men. maybe you hid from blame. maybe you remembered our last words and shrugged your shoulders thinking "i tried". or maybe you read about the relationship between virgo and scorpio and accepted that the stars were right.

maybe you started to sign my guestbook. tell me that i don't know the whole story. that you're proud of me. that i turned out like you imagined. that i'm beautiful. that you remember me. that you still talk about me. that you printed out a picture of me. but then maybe you erased the words. backspaced your feelings out of fear that i had deleted your memory.

but i haven't.

and in some way i think i have moved on from hurting. from being afraid that i grew up to disappoint you. i think i'm finished wishing that i was born a jr. i've learned to love the wrinkles in my forehead. the baseball bat shaped calves. the dimple in my chin. i've come to love who i am. even the half of me i didn't know.

and i searched for your name. found life's irony in the fact that there's a college scholarship named after you. found your address and telephone number. drove past your exit on the highway while i was in town visiting friends. and whenever i see dennis miller, red sport cars, post office workers, whenever my head hurts...i think of you.

i think of you almost everyday because i gave her your dimples. and her smiles reminds me of me. of me following you around a store when i was about 6 years old...the day i learned to make the bird sound that you used to do. the sound you would tease me and say "i have a bird stuck in my throat!"...i remember how big you smiled when i learned to do it, on my own.

i don't need an apology from you. cause despite myself, i would fall into your arms if you held them out for me. i have always loved you. even when i felt unloved and forgotten...i still wanted to hear your side of the story. still held on to hope for you. and i realize now, as i fight blurred vision to write this entry, i haven't changed.

i have not forgotten you.

so..just in case you read this..

happy father's day.

---
:: :: :: ::


www.sheflypaper.com

  

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Aeon
Charter member
43870 posts
Tue Aug-03-04 04:17 AM

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33. "nice."
In response to Reply # 31


  

          



_

shakin your block with a 6 million dollar bop

_

www.davidevanmcdowell.com

  

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Morehouse
Member since Feb 25th 2003
7568 posts
Wed Aug-04-04 12:05 AM

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42. "this was touching..."
In response to Reply # 31


  

          


thank you for sharing


***********************************



***********************************
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=500290931


myself is sculptor of
your body’s idiom:
the musician of your wrists;
the poet who is afraid
only to mistranslate
a rhythm in your hair...
-E.E. Cummings

  

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robynwildchild
Member since May 06th 2003
4550 posts
Thu Aug-05-04 08:52 AM

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58. "RE: a blog entry"
In response to Reply # 31


  

          

awww shit think was so.. bare and all in your head flowing out.. i've gotten chills reading it... that chill you get when you are touched ... how can one explain when it wasn't heard or see just read throughout the lines from you to us to whomever this piece is truly addresses.. because i know even though i felt it .. it wasn't me..

peace

~~~~~~~~ luv R.
https://www.facebook.com/robyn.wildchild12
psycho.
"Institutions encourage us to consider the opinions they sell as "facts" and that we "believe" rather than question the morality they pitch."
cities need fewer shopping malls and more skat

  

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BarTek
Member since Nov 10th 2002
51250 posts
Sat Aug-28-04 12:18 PM

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132. "RE: wonderful,"
In response to Reply # 31


  

          

Thank you for sharing.

Peace.

let's play ping pong ■

  

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Aeon
Charter member
43870 posts
Tue Aug-03-04 04:15 AM

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32. "aw man, cats finna get SCHOOLED."
In response to Reply # 0


  

          



_

shakin your block with a 6 million dollar bop

_

www.davidevanmcdowell.com

  

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KnowOne
Charter member
39942 posts
Tue Aug-03-04 10:47 AM

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37. "say word!"
In response to Reply # 32


  

          

n/m

_________________________________________
"Too weird to live.... too rare to die..."

IG: KnowOne215 | PS+ ID: KnowOne215

  

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gsquared
Member since Oct 26th 2002
3647 posts
Tue Aug-03-04 08:16 AM

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36. "sweet..."
In response to Reply # 0


          

...have fun w/ it...




"During the day – I swim with Dolphins
At sunset – I sprout wings and soar with eagles & nocturnal owls
And at twilight – I retreat to the safety of Mother Earth’s womb
As Father time comforts & heals Love’s wounds
So once again I can skip across painted poetic stones
Leaving footprints in the bottom of hourglass sands
Rejoice in renewal --
Bow down --
Fold hands --"

--Photosynthesis

http://www.GaryPatrickGarry.com

"I'm stalling in flight
Hovering over horizons
Waiting for night"

"My turn to speak in tongues"
--Photosynthesis

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/2/photosynthesis_music.htm

  

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Nowachaoticthing
Member since Dec 24th 2002
2178 posts
Tue Aug-03-04 11:34 AM

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38. "RE: August Artist Of The Month: Paperdollpoet & Mindful"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

Sorry i haven't been around much... but I just wanted to say CONGRATS, ladies! Looking forward to lots of good reading here.

"To be a poet is a condition, not a profession."
- Robert Frost

http://inevitabletruth.blogspot.com/
http://www.lulu.com/content/187759
http://www.hdfest.com/Barry/allreviewsbarry.html
http://wishbonec.wordpress.com/

  

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2blac4u
Member since Aug 31st 2002
161 posts
Tue Aug-03-04 06:09 PM

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39. "CONGRATULATIONS!!!!"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

I havent been on this board long, but long enuff to know this is going to be a Beautiful month at OKP...u both write with so much depth & emotion..baring ur souls to close inspection..for that I give u much Respect & Love

"Poetry is when an Emotion has found its Thought, and Thought, has found Words".. ~Unknown~

"The Poet is a Liar that always speaks the Truth"..~Unknown~

  

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Imagination_7
Member since Jun 10th 2003
1580 posts
Wed Aug-04-04 05:04 AM

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43. "Beautiful!"
In response to Reply # 0
Wed Aug-04-04 05:26 AM

  

          

Paperdollpoet and Mindful...
What phenomenal women and writers.
Thank you both for sharing my life, one word at a time, on Honeychile.
I can't wait for this!

Much love and admiration...
Lesley


"Imagination is more important than knowledge. Knowledge is limited. Imagination encircles the world." - Albert Einstein


Lesley

  

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paperdollpoet
Charter member
2238 posts
Wed Aug-04-04 05:42 AM

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46. "whaigondo?"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

whaigondo?

four cups of green tea
& you still ain't flushed out my system yet
i'm drowning in
chamomile leaves soaked in purified water
but it ain't easing the pain in my stomach, neither

i'm. still. here.

sealing pretend kisses in empty boxes,
gift wrapped lies
that i keep tucked in my cavities
cause i want to be filled with you in some way
or another
even if you stopped feeling me

i'm. still. here.

fighting air and shadowing boxing irony
in attempts to pull you out of my pores
sweat
so i have a valid reason to recite
with weary lips & wet eyes
when asked why my body aches
i eat hurricanes
stormy weather words
swallow fairy tales whole
hoping one would get stuck in my throat
come up on its own
and send me on in a state of emergency
on red eye airplanes
into the unknown
of rebirth

but you won't understand this
cause pcs is disconnected from catching
telepathic voice messages
i'm sending thru closed eyes
and recurring dreams of school buses
i keep missing

thats why
i'm. still. here.

but i'm trying not to be
cause i hate waiting
misplaced my watch on purpose
cause i don't have time
to fall in love again
i'm too busy
trying not to burn the pot roast
& folding baby clothes that never seem to fold correctly
the first time around
i can't wait for seconds
cause i get tired of holding hands with a clock
that turns it back and keeps moving forward
without me

i can't understand why
i'm. still. here.

but don't worry
cause
i won't be for long

i'm already forgetting what your name taste like
have gotten used
to the withdrawal headaches
without running to coffee colored substitutes
i just keep drinking herbal teas
slowly
licking metal spoons that hold my own reflection
to remind me of who i am
without you
is even better than who i was
chasing after you
has strengthened my legs
so i can walk away from you
at my own pace
knowing that some time soon

i. won't. be. here.

---
:: :: :: ::


www.sheflypaper.com

  

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KnowOne
Charter member
39942 posts
Wed Aug-04-04 06:16 AM

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47. "nice piece...."
In response to Reply # 46


  

          

really like these lines:

>sealing pretend kisses in empty boxes,
>gift wrapped lies
>that i keep tucked in my cavities
>cause i want to be filled with you in some way
>or another
>even if you stopped feeling me

>licking metal spoons that hold my own reflection
>to remind me of who i am
>without you
>is even better than who i was
>chasing after you
>has strengthened my legs
>so i can walk away from you
>at my own pace
>knowing that some time soon
>
>i. won't. be. here.


Keep Flowin' Sis'................

_________________________________________
"Too weird to live.... too rare to die..."

IG: KnowOne215 | PS+ ID: KnowOne215

  

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mindful
Charter member
41306 posts
Wed Aug-04-04 11:30 AM

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49. "addicted to coffee, much?"
In response to Reply # 46


  

          

*giggles*

"as grav-ity is to eve-ry human, as the earth is to the treessssss...."

but you won't understand this
cause pcs is disconnected from catching
telepathic voice messages
i'm sending thru closed eyes
and recurring dreams of school buses
i keep missing

thats why
i'm. still. here.

but i'm trying not to be
cause i hate waiting
misplaced my watch on purpose
cause i don't have time
to fall in love again
i'm too busy
trying not to burn the pot roast
& folding baby clothes that never seem to fold correctly
the first time around
i can't wait for seconds
cause i get tired of holding hands with a clock
that turns it back and keeps moving forward
without me

i can't understand why
i'm. still. here.

for wanting late nites, and long days, and more "me time," and solid penmanship when writing letters that'll never get sent, for playing in the park, and drive thru zoos, for energy... write it out your system love... and... i just love the metaphor caffeine is portraying here... simply love it...

and perhaps, i'll treat u to a cup when i get there...

somma that caramel chocolate thingy you were speaking on, or was that tea?









================
is all
got ©amel larrieux




------------------------------
my work
http://meetmsmindful.wordpress.com
http://www.lulu.com/content/7598631
http://evan-roth.com/grey.php

  

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paperdollpoet
Charter member
2238 posts
Wed Aug-04-04 02:10 PM

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54. "its chai tea."
In response to Reply # 49


  

          

& yes, we'll make time to disappear into the bottom of tea cups in crowded cafes...trading war stories.

---
:: :: :: ::


www.sheflypaper.com

  

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robynwildchild
Member since May 06th 2003
4550 posts
Thu Aug-05-04 08:48 AM

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57. "RE: whaigondo?"
In response to Reply # 46


  

          

sealing pretend kisses in empty boxes,
gift wrapped lies
that i keep tucked in my cavities
cause i want to be filled with you in some way
or another
even if you stopped feeling me

i'm. still. here.

awww.... all hung up but still trudging ahead... wonderful

~~~~~~~~ luv R.
https://www.facebook.com/robyn.wildchild12
psycho.
"Institutions encourage us to consider the opinions they sell as "facts" and that we "believe" rather than question the morality they pitch."
cities need fewer shopping malls and more skat

  

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BarTek
Member since Nov 10th 2002
51250 posts
Sat Aug-28-04 12:22 PM

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133. "RE: Strong Words"
In response to Reply # 46


  

          

i'm already forgetting what your name taste like
have gotten used
to the withdrawal headaches
without running to coffee colored substitutes
i just keep drinking herbal teas
slowly
licking metal spoons that hold my own reflection
to remind me of who i am
without you
is even better than who i was
chasing after you
has strengthened my legs
so i can walk away from you
at my own pace
knowing that some time soon

i. won't. be. here.

~~

I thought those were beautiful and strong words. I enjoyed reading them, and this was a very good piece indeed.

Peace.

let's play ping pong ■

  

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lyrical CD

Wed Aug-04-04 07:42 AM

  
48. "truly amazing"
In response to Reply # 0


          

I haven't read through the whole thread yet, but I had to stop to say congratulations.....I am really amazed by what I've read so far. You both are so deserving. God Bless.

*lyrical CD*

"Hold fast to dreams." ~Langston Hughes~

"Search me, o God, and know my heart. Test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting." ~Psalms 139:23-24~

  

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mindful
Charter member
41306 posts
Wed Aug-04-04 11:52 AM

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50. "mistake---II (michael andrew loadholt)"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

at 24, ur little gurl,
now a woman can look
at you and not feel ashamed,
b/c all the years of loving you,
all the hard work in getting along,
all the times wasted, but spent anyway,
has been one big mistake---
and it began with me.

so you got over
living for yourself
and began loving for me,
but not really, at 26,
u gave me him, and my
8 year old soul smiled
because i was not alone
anymore. he drew close.
clung to my legs, stood
at the stairs when i wanted
to play and cried
like someone was taking
his favorite toy---
and my back became the
most common thing for him
to see, cuz i got so used
to walking away.

he never cried for you,
he was my doll,
my playmate, my guinea pig
for new designs and new baby
outfits, and we grew to
stick together because we
were all we had. so busy tryin'
to keep our father,
u forgot about us...
"tremaine, i'll listen to you
before i listen to momma,"
and i *nod* cuz what else
is there to say? he never "knew"
you the way i did.
never saw you when your
hair hung past your shoulders,
never embraced your giggle,
never got the chance to cuddle
next to you during a nap, cuz
the meaning to mother slowly
faded away.

now 16, he is lost without u...
and at 42, u're still fuckin'
the nite air, still tongue-kissin'
teenage clubs, and pussy poppin'
for men we don't even know.
but, "i'm grown, it doesn't matter
what you say, cuz it begins
and ends with my words. i'm rite,
i'm the mother." he looks to me
unsure of how to respond,
and all i have for him are
*shrugs* and hugs filled
with, "i love you even when
u've done wrong," cuz he is mine.
u gave him to me. he is ur
2nd mistake.


©Tremaine L. Loadholt

================
is all
got ©amel larrieux




------------------------------
my work
http://meetmsmindful.wordpress.com
http://www.lulu.com/content/7598631
http://evan-roth.com/grey.php

  

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paperdollpoet
Charter member
2238 posts
Wed Aug-04-04 12:02 PM

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51. "mother is another label.."
In response to Reply # 50


  

          

that not all people were meant to wear correctly.

he never "knew"
you the way i did.
never saw you when your
hair hung past your shoulders,
never embraced your giggle,
never got the chance to cuddle
next to you during a nap, cuz
the meaning to mother slowly
faded away.


this is what hurts. it would be easier to walk away if you didn't hold those memories...those of when you lived in her steps...and saw perfection in her smile.

it would be easier to write her off as just a woman with a womb and wrong timing.

but thru all of this i know...you will wear that label like the a medal of honor one day. & this i know.

---
:: :: :: ::


www.sheflypaper.com

  

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Natalie
Member since May 06th 2003
2162 posts
Mon Aug-16-04 01:31 PM

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97. "seen..."
In response to Reply # 50


  

          

and pondered...it takes a load of courage to share, an ounce of anger to hate, and a depth of love to move on...i hope you are finding your balance.

peace,

n.

==================================

"I'm a curbside prophet with my hand in my pocket and I'm waiting for my rocket to come." - Jason Mraz

"Conformity is the refuge of a stagnant mind."

  

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BarTek
Member since Nov 10th 2002
51250 posts
Sat Aug-28-04 12:32 PM

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135. "RE: mistake---II (michael andrew loadholt)"
In response to Reply # 50


  

          

Thank you for writing this down. I read it, and I learned very much about who you are, and your strength.

Peace.

let's play ping pong ■

  

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blak_yukon
Charter member
3901 posts
Wed Aug-04-04 01:00 PM

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52. "RE: August Artist Of The Month: Paperdollpoet & Mindful"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

the ladies, the ladies, the ladies...all i can say is, seen yall do your thing for years and its like,yo. glad yall decided to go ahead and do this aotm together. one for the history books...or archives,y'know.


blk

----------sig-----------

http://unclevicart.com/

me and the fellas would converge and heat up some Hot Pockets in preparation for Rap City.© Roc

dude, getting a response from the folks at freestyle is like watching water boil...© Tek

  

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MeDiNaStaR
Charter member
11517 posts
Wed Aug-04-04 01:51 PM

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53. "i admire both of y'all creativity and work"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

thanks for sharing the wealth

____

no donut no cry © medina marley


____

hate keeps my teeth white

  

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PhotoSynthesis
Charter member
16101 posts
Wed Aug-04-04 02:44 PM

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55. "Now LOOK You Two!!!"
In response to Reply # 0


          

If I gotta go thru this thread -- (AND YOUR INDIVIDUAL pCe's) -- With a box of tissues -- DAMMITTT -- Somebody betta send me some money -- for:

1) Makeup
2) Tissues
3) Keyboard Cleaner & Air Blower -- (To git the snot & tears out)



Okay, so I *knew* this thread would be awesome, but I just wasn't expecting to need "Extra" supplies to read it! -- *tsk*

A guitar string vibrating, a measure of my soul, a breech in the silence --
I've always felt like words come through me & I write them down... they have no master --- gsquared ♥

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/2/photosynthesis_music.htm

  

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robynwildchild
Member since May 06th 2003
4550 posts
Thu Aug-05-04 08:45 AM

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56. "this aughta be interesting"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

congrats to both of u!

~~~~~~~~ luv R.
https://www.facebook.com/robyn.wildchild12
psycho.
"Institutions encourage us to consider the opinions they sell as "facts" and that we "believe" rather than question the morality they pitch."
cities need fewer shopping malls and more skat

  

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paperdollpoet
Charter member
2238 posts
Fri Aug-06-04 05:52 AM

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59. "backwards groove: a history of break ups and break dow"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

backwards groove: a history of break ups and break downs

i.

no jelly in my butter
this morning
i finally ran
out
and now i can eat breakfast
without thinking
of how you always
leave/left
grape residue lingering
for me to find and fuss
about
small pieces of imperfection
the sticky sweet memories that spread
sparsely over the last two pieces
of bread
the left/over
loaf
you left
without the tie on
so the edges have harden
like shields
but the middle still soaks up
this mixture that you left me with
and i can't even complain
anymore
because i finally
ran out.

ii.
this morning my bed wasn't as cold as it usta be
my fingers found showers
in my spring
without raincoats to hide underneath

iii.
yesterday i found myself
hidden in several boxes
unlabeled
i found myself
in 7 years of broken mirror
pieces
unswept
i was loose hair scattered
on the bathroom floor
in corners
gathered and twisted
in old rubber bands
stuck
in the drains
i was the dust that floated
when i opened the blinds
i was finding myself
where you left me
when you left me
when i was the background
when i was the home
you moved into
and made a house of
when i was cold sheets that wrinkled
like sides of mouths with frowns
left unfixed
i was a lost remote battery
underneath the couch
waiting to be found
but just replaced
i was
but yesterday
i found myself
and today
i have a lot of cleaning to do.

iv.

i've got writer's block
and you're still in the neighborhood
of my thoughts
and i wld ask you to make me write again
but i ain't right to start with
so please
pause before you say my name
so i can remind myself
why i stopped writing about you
don't
make
me
write about you
again
cause it made me hate poetry
made me hate word play
cause all i did was hide your name
in similes
and smiles
at the inside jokes
that i was playing on myself
playing myself
i had double roles
trying to split myself in two for you
trying to live two lifetimes
with doubles i's
so when i said
i need you
and i need him
i wldn't see a lie
and i cld cross the line
in love like double dutch
but i've never been one of those girls
with quick feet
so i wld just always fall
in love



v.
i like the way I smile
the way my eyes dance
to the music of my laughter
and just when I thought I had forgotten
my song
you left me
standing in the middle of the dance floor
thank you,
cause I needed to learn
to dance alone


---
:: :: :: ::


www.sheflypaper.com

  

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clarion
Member since Jul 07th 2003
9469 posts
Fri Aug-06-04 06:06 AM

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60. "listening to Patti LaBelle "If Only U knew""
In response to Reply # 59


  

          

the words trickled themselves around this song, captivated my eyes & reminded me why i go into a relationship i have my umbrella...*muah*..this is it right here: (can u hear patti sangin)

i've got writer's block
and you're still in the neighborhood
of my thoughts
and i wld ask you to make me write again
but i ain't right to start with
so please
pause before you say my name
so i can remind myself
why i stopped writing about you
don't
make
me
write about you
again
cause it made me hate poetry
made me hate word play
cause all i did was hide your name
in similes
and smiles
at the inside jokes
that i was playing on myself
playing myself
i had double roles
trying to split myself in two for you
trying to live two lifetimes
with doubles i's
so when i said
i need you
and i need him




..

  

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mindful
Charter member
41306 posts
Fri Aug-06-04 01:29 PM

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63. "cause i need to learn to dance alone"
In response to Reply # 59


  

          

when i was cold sheets that wrinkled
like sides of mouths with frowns
left unfixed
i was a lost remote battery
underneath the couch
waiting to be found
but just replaced
i was
but yesterday
i found myself
and today
i have a lot of cleaning to do.

iv.

i've got writer's block
and you're still in the neighborhood
of my thoughts
and i wld ask you to make me write again
but i ain't right to start with
so please
pause before you say my name
so i can remind myself
why i stopped writing about you

inspiration comes in so many packages... *nods*













================
is all
got ©amel larrieux




------------------------------
my work
http://meetmsmindful.wordpress.com
http://www.lulu.com/content/7598631
http://evan-roth.com/grey.php

  

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gsquared
Member since Oct 26th 2002
3647 posts
Sun Aug-08-04 01:09 PM

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66. "RE: backwards groove: a history of break ups and break"
In response to Reply # 59


          

...this is really good, I enjoyed reading it..




"During the day – I swim with Dolphins
At sunset – I sprout wings and soar with eagles & nocturnal owls
And at twilight – I retreat to the safety of Mother Earth’s womb
As Father time comforts & heals Love’s wounds
So once again I can skip across painted poetic stones
Leaving footprints in the bottom of hourglass sands
Rejoice in renewal --
Bow down --
Fold hands --"

--Photosynthesis

http://www.GaryPatrickGarry.com

"I'm stalling in flight
Hovering over horizons
Waiting for night"

"My turn to speak in tongues"
--Photosynthesis

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/2/photosynthesis_music.htm

  

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BarTek
Member since Nov 10th 2002
51250 posts
Sat Aug-28-04 12:36 PM

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136. "RE: backwards groove: a history of break ups and break"
In response to Reply # 59


  

          

I suppose, my favorite aspect of your word is, that you always return to affirm your inner self. You have shared your pain, and yet there is a new day, as you are there at the end of the piece, wearing a smile, curiously shifting your foot to music. This is the visual it gave me, and I liked it very much. Thank you for sharing.

let's play ping pong ■

  

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truth
Charter member
242 posts
Fri Aug-06-04 09:16 AM

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61. "RE: August Artist Of The Month: Paperdollpoet & Mindful"
In response to Reply # 0


          

okay, so i moved & havent been caught up in the daily blogs of the two of u cuz my computer business been on hold & stroll on over here just to take a quik look & LOW & BEHOLD one of my dreams done com true. i luv both yall, as ppl, as women, as spirits as WRITERS. i sumtimes wish i could build with yall on the daily but thats not how the geography god planned it. ANYWAY i wanna say that this thread is my favorite thread in the *ahem* 4 years i been on this here board. one day one of u are gonna take my directors challenge & write me a movie about alla us blk gurrls that we can show the world. im gonna be here everyday of this month, being schooled, inspired, and challenged by the two of u. noni
___________________
it takes courage to be human. to live on this earth is a daily choice, a daily action, a daily commitment to being u. to loving & accepting who u are. it is a journey of timid steps & at times, full bounds. no one can corporate sponsor that commitment. no one can own your past or your secrets. no one can sell your shame or your glory. -n.limar




+

I
wrap
myself
around a
celestial
tree

and from there

I can see

Patterns
of
eternity
that stick with me and
make impact, so that
the struggle

has meaning

-gsquared


http://www.myspace.com/nonifashoni

  

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mindful
Charter member
41306 posts
Fri Aug-06-04 01:25 PM

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62. "fuck buddy"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

u've got ur
dick
so "far up"
my pussy
u fail to
realize
this isn't
love.

©Tremaine L. Loadholt











================
is all
got ©amel larrieux




------------------------------
my work
http://meetmsmindful.wordpress.com
http://www.lulu.com/content/7598631
http://evan-roth.com/grey.php

  

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soulchild
Member since Dec 25th 2003
1272 posts
Sat Aug-07-04 03:26 PM

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65. "RE: fuck buddy"
In response to Reply # 62


  

          

word.

soul.


  

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delsbrothergeorge
Charter member
4413 posts
Sat Aug-14-04 10:24 AM

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88. "i'd love to see"
In response to Reply # 62


          

someone have the nerve to write a response piece to this one.

---i'm here---

"...do what scares you..." -- l. varela

  

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BarTek
Member since Nov 10th 2002
51250 posts
Sat Aug-28-04 12:41 PM

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137. "RE: fuck buddy"
In response to Reply # 62


  

          

Hmm, I don't know if it would be possible for me to understand this piece. I see what it is, and yet, I cannot grasp the true inspiration, and how could I possibly do so? Thank you for sharing. I do, however, learn how to affirm to be myself, and these words inspire me to be a man of true love. Peace.

let's play ping pong ■

  

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_CanCan_
Charter member
posts
Fri Aug-06-04 02:59 PM

64. "Congratulations MindFUL and PaperDollPoet!!"
In response to Reply # 0


          

You two are soooo talented.

  

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paperdollpoet
Charter member
2238 posts
Mon Aug-09-04 03:58 AM

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67. "for amiia"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

For Amiia

amiia
before you even become a woman
you've got life written inside of you
etched on your pelvis bone
cycling in your dna code
you are a poet
before the pen/is
pushed in your hands
and
i can't stop you
from wasting sweet words
on ink spots that he might leave on your bed
but i'll be here

to be your first audience when tear drops
become soulful slow songs
blown into hair brushes with your eyes closed tight
hoping
that i don't understand
what you really mean
when you sing
i won't
tell you that i do
or i did the same things cause
you will have to learn
to tell time by your hands
& not by the wrinkles gathering on mine

but i'll be here

wishing that i could live the worst times for you
wishing that i could give
black eyes to black eyes
that rip holes in your soul when you're just trying to walk
alone
i'mma have to leave you
to see you
as grown
cause one day you won't need me
and i'll fight temptations to play
hide and seek in your room
trying to find you
in letters and words written in privacy
in spite of me
i'll have to accept that you've found your own friends
outside of me

and i'll be scared

trying to remember if i taught you the right things
before life kidnapped you
hoping
i wasn't too weak around your father
or too strong to listen
or too sexual in my past
or too prude to say the truths

and i'll be afraid

that you came out just like me
making midnight goals
on the phone
that stretched no further than tomorrow
while cupping your hands over the light on the receiver
pretending to sleep
living in your day dreams
see, i read about pisces
and i wonder
if you'll ever want to read about me
if you'll ever go searching
in attics and cardboard boxes
for pieces of who i am
before mother
was attached to my hips
before mother attacked my hips
i wonder
if you'll want to be a writer
like me
if you'll want to search in me like i was the cliff notes to life
cause i don't want to stop you from living
just prepare you for the possibilities

cause i will be here

trying to be the high pitch screech in your voice
when you laugh
& if you let me
i want to be
the paper you might decide to write
your suicide letters on
cause i know
one day razor blades will cross your mind
before they reach your wrists
before you slip
i'd want to tell you
that blood stains are hard to get out
of fabric
so that in some loving way
you'll know
that once
before
i was a girl
with life written inside of me
until my poetry was brought out of me
now i'm your mother.

© 2002 Aulelei Love.

---
:: :: :: ::


www.sheflypaper.com

  

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mindful
Charter member
41306 posts
Mon Aug-09-04 05:01 AM

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68. "now, i'm your mother"
In response to Reply # 67


  

          

but i'll be here

to be your first audience when tear drops
become soulful slow songs
blown into hair brushes with your eyes closed tight
hoping
that i don't understand
what you really mean
when you sing
i won't
tell you that i do
or i did the same things cause
you will have to learn
to tell time by your hands
& not by the wrinkles gathering on mine

but i'll be here

wishing that i could live the worst times for you

you were meant to be her mother too...

it seems as if this poem... was living in you. waiting to be unleashed... it reads that way... like as soon as she saw life, it felt the need to come out. she/they will learn a lot from you.

*nods*











================
is all
got ©amel larrieux




------------------------------
my work
http://meetmsmindful.wordpress.com
http://www.lulu.com/content/7598631
http://evan-roth.com/grey.php

  

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truth
Charter member
242 posts
Mon Aug-09-04 06:34 AM

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69. "RE: for amiia"
In response to Reply # 67


          

this is beyond beautiful lei.
i really love this poem.
why say anything more?
___________________
it takes courage to be human. to live on this earth is a daily choice, a daily action, a daily commitment to being u. to loving & accepting who u are. it is a journey of timid steps & at times, full bounds. no one can corporate sponsor that commitment. no one can own your past or your secrets. no one can sell your shame or your glory. -n.limar

http://nonifashoni.blogspot.com/



+

I
wrap
myself
around a
celestial
tree

and from there

I can see

Patterns
of
eternity
that stick with me and
make impact, so that
the struggle

has meaning

-gsquared


http://www.myspace.com/nonifashoni

  

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KnowOne
Charter member
39942 posts
Thu Aug-19-04 02:46 AM

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111. "CoSign"
In response to Reply # 69


  

          

n/m

_________________________________________
"Too weird to live.... too rare to die..."

IG: KnowOne215 | PS+ ID: KnowOne215

  

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BarTek
Member since Nov 10th 2002
51250 posts
Sat Aug-28-04 12:43 PM

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138. "RE: for amiia"
In response to Reply # 67


  

          

I believe your child has been blessed by a beautiful being.

Peace.

let's play ping pong ■

  

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InspiredFree
Member since Oct 10th 2003
473 posts
Mon Aug-09-04 10:26 AM

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70. "RE: August Artist Of The Month: Paperdollpoet & Mindful"
In response to Reply # 0


          

congrats guys.

______________________
we must never be frightened or cajoled/into accepting evil as deliverance from evil. - Robert Hayden

  

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paperdollpoet
Charter member
2238 posts
Tue Aug-10-04 11:18 AM

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74. "blog entry # 2"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

7.2.2004


i'm over you.

& i don't remember when i arrived at that point.

it just popped in my head like a grocery item that you remember you need while driving home from the grocery store.

i used to stretch my body and think of you. long enough to feel guilty. but never long enough to consider anything beyond the thought.

but today, during sun salutation, when my spine lengthened, your heat wasn't there. i had to struggle to summons your memory. the width of you. the enclosed feeling i lived in when smothered underneath your laughter at midnight. your sweat. the way your pupils disappear when you smile.

i fought myself trying to remember you this morning because i realized that saying goodbye to you means i have to say goodbye to some of my best memories. my greatest stories. the heart ache that inspires my best work. the bitterness that has made me a wonderful mother. badu's green eyes will no longer evoke sobs. soul food menus will never make me blush or giggle behind closed eye lids.

i'm closing your door. the one i had placed a piece of paper over the lock so it wouldn't shut completely. the door i oiled the hinges to so you could sneak back in without notice.

there will be no keys hidden under the welcome mat.

this is goodbye.

i've held on to you for too long. and we probably aren't the same people that we were during those nights of video games and voodoo cookies. those walks. that drive. the cat and mouse retort that kept us untitled but attracted to one another.

i finally don't miss it.

and its okay to let all the memories go because they are outdated.

i can hardly remember what your tattoos were. or the sound of your backwards accent.

your face has become a picasso of broken up memories. some missing pieces. some filled in with fantasy. some parts that i couldn't forget.

leaving you feels less empowering than i imagined it to be.

but it feels free.


---
:: :: :: ::


www.sheflypaper.com

  

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PhotoSynthesis
Charter member
16101 posts
Tue Aug-10-04 01:13 PM

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75. "Ouch! -- And Then -- Ahhhhhhh --"
In response to Reply # 74


          

Kinda like when you have to get a shot @ the Doctor's -- The anticipation of the pain -- Needle stickin' in ya vein -- arm -- (OR BUTTT) -- But then -- walaaahhh -- It's over! -- And sometimes it doesn't even draw blood! -- *bittersweet smiles*


This blog entry should be monu~MENTAL & historical (for you) -- For years to come -- Indeed! -- *Nice~Ness*

A guitar string vibrating, a measure of my soul, a breech in the silence --
I've always felt like words come through me & I write them down... they have no master --- gsquared ♥

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/2/photosynthesis_music.htm

  

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mindful
Charter member
41306 posts
Tue Aug-10-04 04:56 PM

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78. "u are very brave for this..."
In response to Reply # 74


  

          

u know i read your blog like every time you update it... and u are truly brave to get this out.

*nods*









================
Gee thanks for the
©Ra




------------------------------
my work
http://meetmsmindful.wordpress.com
http://www.lulu.com/content/7598631
http://evan-roth.com/grey.php

  

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delsbrothergeorge
Charter member
4413 posts
Sat Aug-14-04 10:31 AM

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90. "wow"
In response to Reply # 74


          

this is rawer than meat that hasn't been killed yet.

and it's supremely relatable.


---i'm here---

"...do what scares you..." -- l. varela

  

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BarTek
Member since Nov 10th 2002
51250 posts
Sat Aug-28-04 04:08 PM

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140. "RE: blog entry # 2"
In response to Reply # 74


  

          

>but it feels free.

It is a wonderful feeling. Beautiful write.

Peace.


let's play ping pong ■

  

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mindful
Charter member
41306 posts
Tue Aug-10-04 04:46 PM

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77. "ruined (1 of my favorite pieces of work)"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

ruined

*somewhere in a steam-filled bathroom*

a fresh shave can
be annoying---she
scratches her cooch, washes
her hands, and lites an
incense.
*erases fog from mirror with finger tips*
what has become of her?
timeless eyes that look
deep into the souls of man.
time isn't as precious, nor
are the events She has planned,
but her reflection reminds her
that life could be worse
than it is.

the hand is dealt.
she's played every round,
tossed every trick,
reneged so often, she can't
even remember what is what
and who is who.
while staring at herself,
she notices the tiny mole
on the tip of her nose,
she smiles. a marking
she and all of her siblings have.
the smell of
burned cinnamon fills the air,
inhaling what could be
life to her in the past,
she remembers nag champa,
musk, and vanilla essence.

*grabs towel from rack*
she dries every curve,
noticing the inches
and angles she's gained.
a tease rite now would
be good to/for her.
*he looks at her reflection too*
her smile leaves, movements
become hurried, and what was
once an inviting smell has
turned into overdue shit.

he wants her.
he needs her.
she's been wanted before.
she's been needed before.
she's been "there" before
and he... can't seem
to understand,
it has left her feeling
ruined.

©Tremaine L. Loadholt/Tuesday, June 01, 2004










================
Gee thanks for the
©Ra




------------------------------
my work
http://meetmsmindful.wordpress.com
http://www.lulu.com/content/7598631
http://evan-roth.com/grey.php

  

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paperdollpoet
Charter member
2238 posts
Wed Aug-11-04 04:20 AM

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79. "this is one of my favorites as well."
In response to Reply # 77


  

          

such a great snap shot of a scene.

so much story left untold.

so much of the story told in few words..

a great foundation for a character.

i'm sure i said this when i first read it, but write that book.

---
:: :: :: ::


www.sheflypaper.com

  

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delsbrothergeorge
Charter member
4413 posts
Sat Aug-14-04 10:27 AM

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89. "i remember this one"
In response to Reply # 77


          

and i'm glad you chose to include it here.

---i'm here---

"...do what scares you..." -- l. varela

  

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Natalie
Member since May 06th 2003
2162 posts
Mon Aug-16-04 01:34 PM

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98. "RE: ruined (1 of my favorite pieces of work)"
In response to Reply # 77


  

          

"he wants her.
he needs her.
she's been wanted before.
she's been needed before.
she's been "there" before
and he... can't seem
to understand,
it has left her feeling
ruined."

yeah...i've been there before.

peace,

n.

==================================

"I'm a curbside prophet with my hand in my pocket and I'm waiting for my rocket to come." - Jason Mraz

"Conformity is the refuge of a stagnant mind."

  

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BarTek
Member since Nov 10th 2002
51250 posts
Sat Aug-28-04 04:12 PM

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141. "RE: ruined (1 of my favorite pieces of work)"
In response to Reply # 77


  

          

I read this the first time, and was left to think about it. I feel the same now, as I am sure it will surface and replay itself in my mind in the next few days. I like this one very much, especially, because, it is challenging, and it inspirs elevation in me. In a strange way, words as powerful as yours, inspire me to evolve into a better man. Peace.

let's play ping pong ■

  

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paperdollpoet
Charter member
2238 posts
Thu Aug-12-04 08:48 AM

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80. "7300 poems for my mother."
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

* posting this for rob cause i know you liked this one.


i wish i could write a poem for you,
create lines and rhymes
for each stretch mark on your thigh
make pretty metaphors out of your life
turn all your tears into candy rain drops of similes with like
i'd -e m i t- sounds from my mouth until they turned to words
so i can turn back -t i m e- for you
so you could have never started smoking
so you could have finished college
so you could have never said hello to him before he said goodbye to us
i'm a poet now mom
i should be able to write you up some dreams
maybe even the same ones you put on hold for me
I'MMA POET MOMMA
but you gave me my poetry
and i'm just trying to repay you for the
7300 poems you keep me giving me of life
starting with the first piece you gave me titled aulelei
so even when I'm having my
bad hair- day/ fat thighs- day/ pimple on my nose- day/ why am I so fucking pale- day
I'd still be addressed as beautiful by the world
and you made sure of that .

i wish i could write a poem for you
but nothing rhymes with sorry
and thats how I'd start each stanza
sorry
not only for me and what I did
but for every black hand that grabbed your throat or slapped your face
for every nail you broke slapping them back
for every bitch you've been
and every manager that failed to see your potential
for every paycheck that just fell short of enough
for all the apologies your mother owes you for raising her kids
I'm a poet now mom
i should be able to born you some healthy words
so that they can some how fill the empty space in your stomach
that makes you cry when your alone
i should be able to paint you a new scenery
so you can stop sitting on second hand furniture and finally own your home
mom
i wish i could fill your beer bottles with what you're really looking for
so you can stop searching bottle caps for instant winnings
and stop writing telephone messages on losing lottery tickets
while bingo marker's ink stain your praying hands
i wish i could write you a poem that went in a circle
so you could put it on your unwed finger and be married to happiness
i'm a poet now mom
and i wanna write for you my first love poem to a woman
then go to an open mic and recite you with pride
i wanna write a poem that has everything that you taught me in it
all your small recipes
and techiniques on how to propery cook and clean rice
how to survive weeks without light
i wanna write you a poem momma
i'd even through jesus name in it for you cause i know he gives you strength
regardless of what i believe
this poem would be about you , not me
i want to write a poem for every picture we lost while moving ((again))
a poem that that keeps growing as we become better friends
and stronger members of a family of 2
a poem that enhances your gray roots as badges of a survivor
i'mma poet now momma
and
i wish i could write a poem for you
but how do you a write a poem for poetry?

Copyright © 2001 Aulelei Love


---
:: :: :: ::


www.sheflypaper.com

  

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Imagination_7
Member since Jun 10th 2003
1580 posts
Thu Aug-26-04 08:19 AM

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126. "Very touching and poignant."
In response to Reply # 80


  

          

Yes. You both have lots to be proud of.


"Imagination is more important than knowledge. Knowledge is limited. Imagination encircles the world." - Albert Einstein


Lesley

  

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BarTek
Member since Nov 10th 2002
51250 posts
Sat Aug-28-04 04:16 PM

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142. "RE: Incredible...."
In response to Reply # 80


  

          

This was magnificant. I have the sensation of many shivers on my spine.

i wish i could write you a poem that went in a circle
so you could put it on your unwed finger and be married to happiness
i'm a poet now mom

You are a wonderful writer. Peace.

let's play ping pong ■

  

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paperdollpoet
Charter member
2238 posts
Thu Aug-12-04 08:54 AM

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81. "balance of breath/beats/beginnings/body langue/boundrie"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

....or just balance of balance.


he
could be my bob
my cloud of smoke
my high thoughts
my midnight expressions
when shadows follow me down the hall
and disappear as my computer light comes on
he (take a breath)
could be my bob
with words like guitar notes
intune with my singing thoughts
head swinging as root locs become instruments
and I dance in my head to his solo
thinking I must have two souls
for one mate
and one for my possiblity
he
is my possiblity
in khakis and bob marley t-shirts
colors scheme unimportant
when your clothes match your soul
and he matches me
like balance matches peace
h e
could be my bob
and turn hot shower thoughts
into roof tops in the rain fantacies
while finger floating my body and
creating shadow puppets in my soul
one of my souls
because of course I must have two
to balance me through
my mate
and
my possiblity
he ( sigh)
could be my bob
my poster printed dreams hanging
on walls I created from past relationships
still in a relationship
more like relating hips
when I want to relate minds
can I have two loves
or is it just two different lifetimes
he he he he
could be my bob
but love is like toni morrison's words
so beautiful and yet so confusing
and I am trying to read the Bluest Eye twice
before finishing the first
attempts
o r
I
could be bedazzled
by soap opera and silver screen scenes
by Lolitia Files and Omarr Tyree's
by badus's lifetimes
by poetry
by scorpio tendancies
by all the nights when I didn't have possiblities
by misinterperations of what soulmate actually means
I could be...
but it would still be nice if
he
could be my bob
my Balance Of Balance...
the point that completes a poem

Copyright © 2000 Aulelei Love


---
:: :: :: ::


www.sheflypaper.com

  

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mindful
Charter member
41306 posts
Fri Aug-13-04 07:27 AM

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84. "*smiles*"
In response to Reply # 81


  

          

BOB...

God, it still reads like it did the first time i read it... one of my favs, but you know this...









================
Gee thanks for the
©Ra




------------------------------
my work
http://meetmsmindful.wordpress.com
http://www.lulu.com/content/7598631
http://evan-roth.com/grey.php

  

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BarTek
Member since Nov 10th 2002
51250 posts
Sat Aug-28-04 04:19 PM

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143. "RE: balance of breath/beats/beginnings/body langue/boun"
In response to Reply # 81


  

          

I find your depth remarkable, as you present so much dimension to yourself in every piece. No one piece is like another, and I do not understand, how you are able to manifest so much in so many, and yet, source yourself as the one.

Peace.

let's play ping pong ■

  

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clean dave

Tue Aug-31-04 01:45 PM

  
176. "RE: balance of breath/beats/beginnings/body langue/boun"
In response to Reply # 81


          

"like balance matches peace" is a beautiful line. this is a beautiful poem but that line especially hit the spot

  

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paperdollpoet
Charter member
2238 posts
Thu Aug-12-04 09:02 AM

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82. "for samo"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

ig
nor
ant
art
is what you called me
and
life moved faster than
your speech
your words
left trails of red paint across
new york's elite
so to speak
you threw up
and they ate everything you made
including you
excluding you
life left
its markings on your nostrils
white horses
ran free in your veins
your pictures were coffee stains
on favorite dresses that shape themselves
into clouds
and pigeons could never get that high
to understand
what you meant
when you spilt the cup
on me
poetic defacements
like public private jokes
that poor people laugh at
on the way to work
puerto rico
danced merengue with
haiti
feed grio
to your blood lines
and coke lines
and heroin injections
rejected
before
you took east village slummin
after
you died
and for a while
your philiosphies you left behind
were painted over
with the same everyday color of
brick wall
and your name had become
a whisper of gossip
nestled between
overdose and time
and your art was just
ig
nor
ed
cut short
new york's fat pigeons can't fly that high
so they will never understand
why you had to
die/live/die/live/be
dead.

© 2002 Aulelei Love.




---
:: :: :: ::


www.sheflypaper.com

  

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soulchild
Member since Dec 25th 2003
1272 posts
Fri Aug-13-04 04:40 AM

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83. "RE: for samo"
In response to Reply # 82


  

          

refreshing.

soul.



  

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BarTek
Member since Nov 10th 2002
51250 posts
Sat Aug-28-04 04:22 PM

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144. "RE: for samo"
In response to Reply # 82


  

          

white horses
ran free in your veins

I think you are becoming my favorite writer.

Peace.

let's play ping pong ■

  

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Raina
Charter member
66771 posts
Sun Aug-15-04 07:40 PM

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91. "thnk goodness I left GD for a minute"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

I used to put my rinky dink pieces here years ago, and marvel at the one named Tre...

And paperdollpoet has come to my attention fairly recently, but became an instant favorite.

Congradulations to you both, I will sit back and smile all month.

And maybe jumpstart my writing again...


~!~

This Ain't Postin', This Is Nerd Hop

@( o o )@

Giving You Hot Monkeyball Posting Since 1999

at the end of the day, though...

  

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mindful
Charter member
41306 posts
Mon Aug-16-04 05:46 AM

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92. "Mistake III (maurice s. loadholt)"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

he looks to me
unsure of how to respond,
and all i have for him are
*shrugs* and hugs filled
with, "i love you even when
u've done wrong," cuz he is mine.
u gave him to me. he is ur
2nd mistake.

and within 2 years,
you couldn't wait to
tie another child to my
father... still trying to keep
him there. at 28, you gave
birth to him. a ray of
brite & beaming sunshine, lighter
than any of us; but he was ours.
ur 2nd mistake and i took
full responsibility over him.
i was a 10 yr old who's childhood
was about to be erased.
and at 30... he left.

the man you gave up your
childhood, your time,
your hopes and dreams, and... bore
3 children for left. he said, "there is
no life in this prison for me," and your
heart... split in 3. a section for
each of us, since u couldn't
love us whole. now at 14, he
clings to me. cries to me
when u've done wrong, calls me
shouting, "tremaine, come get
me please, she's crazy." and i ball
up into my 15 yr old self again,
hop in the car, and take the hour
drive, just to save him from you.

he has always been your mystery.
bigger eyes. liter complexion. moles
on every corner of his face.
but
he is
still
mine. relinquishing rites
to your young fits you best.
and now... with him "near grown"
u can be "free." and i sit back
knowing, that after all of those
years of you wanting to be so---
you finally are.

©Tremaine L. Loadholt










================
Gee thanks for the
©Ra




------------------------------
my work
http://meetmsmindful.wordpress.com
http://www.lulu.com/content/7598631
http://evan-roth.com/grey.php

  

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PhotoSynthesis
Charter member
16101 posts
Mon Aug-16-04 12:10 PM

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96. "Beautifully Painful --"
In response to Reply # 92


          

Painfully Beautiful -- *sigh*

A guitar string vibrating, a measure of my soul, a breech in the silence --
I've always felt like words come through me & I write them down... they have no master --- gsquared ♥

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/2/photosynthesis_music.htm

  

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BarTek
Member since Nov 10th 2002
51250 posts
Sat Aug-28-04 04:26 PM

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145. "RE: Mistake III (maurice s. loadholt)"
In response to Reply # 92


  

          

This piece, manifested itself as the color gray in my mind. Shining, and yet, very gray. I felt that even though you mentioned yourself in this piece, you were nowhere to be found.

Peace.

let's play ping pong ■

  

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MUSE
Charter member
3096 posts
Mon Aug-16-04 09:22 AM

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93. "can't miss this..."
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

paperdollpoet & mindful...

it's a wrap...

i'm calling in sick to work.... (reading)

congrats to 2 of my favs...

MUSE

...
..
.

Speak and it shall manifest
Breathe and it shall live
Love and it shall triumph
Give and it shall never be
lost... ever... - MarcArthur
St. Juste

"not one voice unheard" -
VOICES NYC (Brooklyn, NY)

HALLELU YAHWEH! AMEN

  

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mindful
Charter member
41306 posts
Mon Aug-16-04 04:55 PM

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99. "*giggles* u are so silly"
In response to Reply # 93


  

          

but thank u kindly...

*zerberts*









================
Gee thanks for the
©Ra




------------------------------
my work
http://meetmsmindful.wordpress.com
http://www.lulu.com/content/7598631
http://evan-roth.com/grey.php

  

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paperdollpoet
Charter member
2238 posts
Tue Aug-17-04 11:03 AM

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100. "same cell."
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

same cell


time don't move
like tina's hands can
it don't even try to move like i do
while
her pale brown lips pinched shut
squeeze out a
"bitch, i said don't move" whisper
that takes up my half of the bed
with her freshly filed fingers finding
space
in a prison hole
not big enough for 2
not big enough for 3
yet she manages to fit her penis envy
in
and she's got rhythm
like a man
'cept her two step last longer
cause she's not trying to cum
she trying to run
me
trying to find power in pussy
that belongs to neither of us
any more
but she continues to search for
days on a calendar she scratched
inside of me
still hoping to reach my womb
by her hands
so she can get close to
her children without
glass in between
she trying to touch
her children
in me
not realizing that i left my eggs
at home too
i let her search tho
eventually she stumbles around my clit
and if i find the right angle
to look at tina thru
she starts to look like
one of them fine high yella boys that usta whistles my name
and i get quiet
and pretend that one of them is loving me
with old spice heavy on his neck
and malted lips that i take to the head
drownin out my moans
with silence
cause dyke still ain't dick
regardless how much i imagine it to be
i'm not a dyke
i just need sumone to hold on to
to remind me what the world feels like
i betcha
tina wasn't no dyke when she was free
she probably didn't even like the smell that fell
past her knees
when she bent over for a love
she'd end up shooting
and now she's looking in pussy for a past time
cause love fucked up her memory
and she calculates her children's ages by
the number of times
she seen their faces
one of them been 2 for too long
but tina still holds on
to baby pictures faded at the edges with push pin marks at the top
to remind her how many times she was up for parole
how many times she was packing her stuff to leave
how many times she ended up pushing pins
back in
to the walls
so
i let tina
search in me
cause we're in the same cell
made of the same plea bargains
that got denied before we tried
to explain to justice that we too we're blinded
we two are binded
trying not to be bound
in past tense
cause we're still young enough to remember what old is
thats why i
let her leave salt on my nipples as she tries and taste life again
let her find prayers on her knees
that stay between me
and her
we don't worry bout if god/or guards is listening
or watching
we got our eyes closed
grinding pussies
to the tune of time
hoping that if we rub them right
we'll get our wishes
or at least cum
closer to turning
moments into days.

© 2002 Aulelei Love.

---
→ → →


www.sheflypaper.com

  

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mindful
Charter member
41306 posts
Wed Aug-18-04 07:13 AM

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101. "i'm glad u posted this"
In response to Reply # 100


  

          

she trying to run
me
trying to find power in pussy
that belongs to neither of us
any more
but she continues to search for
days on a calendar she scratched
inside of me
still hoping to reach my womb
by her hands
so she can get close to
her children without
glass in between
she trying to touch
her children
in me
not realizing that i left my eggs
at home too
i let her search tho
eventually she stumbles around my clit
and if i find the right angle
to look at tina thru
she starts to look like
one of them fine high yella boys that usta whistles my name
and i get quiet
and pretend that one of them is loving me
with old spice heavy on his neck
and malted lips that i take to the head
drownin out my moans
with silence
cause dyke still ain't dick
regardless how much i imagine it to be
i'm not a dyke
i just need sumone to hold on to
to remind me what the world feels like

searching for love cuz love... has beaten one to a pulp so many times... sometimes, just the thought of knowing someone else will let you love them, knowing that someone won't back down from it... knowing that someone will let you casually slip in and out of them because one needs to... is all that matters.

i liked it 2 years ago... and it's still speaking to me now.






================
Gee thanks for the
©Ra




------------------------------
my work
http://meetmsmindful.wordpress.com
http://www.lulu.com/content/7598631
http://evan-roth.com/grey.php

  

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KnowOne
Charter member
39942 posts
Thu Aug-19-04 02:40 AM

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110. "*speechless*"
In response to Reply # 100


  

          

this is amazing. I have to print this out. I think this is my fav thing I have ever read from you.

_________________________________________
"Too weird to live.... too rare to die..."

IG: KnowOne215 | PS+ ID: KnowOne215

  

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delsbrothergeorge
Charter member
4413 posts
Sat Aug-21-04 09:37 AM

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114. "goose bumps"
In response to Reply # 100


          

just goose bumps. this is an immaculate piece of writing.

one of the best poems i've ever encountered.

---i'm here---

"...do what scares you..." -- l. varela

  

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BarTek
Member since Nov 10th 2002
51250 posts
Sat Aug-28-04 04:34 PM

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147. "RE: same cell."
In response to Reply # 100


  

          

Great piece. You have a way of, making your universe the present.

Peace.

let's play ping pong ■

  

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mindful
Charter member
41306 posts
Wed Aug-18-04 07:27 AM

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102. "Belgian Waffles Series"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

Belgian Waffles (Part 1)

I, sitting little gurl
style at the kitchen table,
legs crossed, and eyes squared
directly on mommy, smelled the
freshness coming from the stove.
She, with her hair tied back,
sweat dripping from her nose,
and exasperated "woos" leave her mouth,
flips and pats our waffles just rite.

my little brother pacifies himself
with boy toys and rubs
snot deep into his skin.
I giggle because he's 2 and
he doesn't know any better.
my sister with my father's eyes
waltzes into the kitchen
with her sweater tied
around her waist, sniffing
for waffles, kisses
my mother on her cheek and mushes my hair.
she's the oldest.

we wait. inhaling the time
our mother has put
into perhaps silencing our
stomachs' growls. we watch.
in hopes of one day
granting our children
the same pleasure.
she flips and pats
once more, then serves us
love no one else
can.

©Tremaine L. Loadholt






================
Gee thanks for the
©Ra




------------------------------
my work
http://meetmsmindful.wordpress.com
http://www.lulu.com/content/7598631
http://evan-roth.com/grey.php

  

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mindful
Charter member
41306 posts
Wed Aug-18-04 07:28 AM

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103. "Belgian Waffles Series"
In response to Reply # 102


  

          

Belgian Waffles Part 2 (Daddy's home)

she flips and pats
once more, then serves us
love no one else
can.

I'm still short enough
to swing my legs while
sitting at the kitchen table.
my mom huffs and says, "little
gurls keep their legs closed
in the presence of men and boys."
she was speaking of my brother
and father.
I glanced at the clock
housed inside our stove, it's
green numbers read 10:20,
and I heard my father's voice.

"Morning baby." He kisses my mom
on her cheek, slaps her butt,
then makes his way to the table
to greet danny (my brother) and I.
mom sways over to us, grabs our
plates, and nods to me
as if she was trying to say,
"be nice, ciera."
"Good morning daddy. How are you?"
"Fine ciera. Sorry daddy couldn't be
here to tuck you in last nite,
got stuck at the plant; but I'll
make it up today, later on. How
does ice cream sound?"
"Ice cream sounds good."
He walks past me and over
to danny, kisses his cheek,
and butts heads. Must have been
some sort of man to boy code
my mother and I were unaware of.

Charlotte excuses herself,
picks up her plate, and nods
to daddy. They don't say much
to each other, but daddy kinda
half-way smiles at her to acknowledge
his oldest. We sit and watch daddy
inhale his waffles and bacon;
both cold from waiting on him,
but he doesn't seem to care.
Mom hovers over the sink,
sighs, and wipes her face.

She'll be crying in bed tonite.

©Tremaine L. Loadholt






================
Gee thanks for the
©Ra




------------------------------
my work
http://meetmsmindful.wordpress.com
http://www.lulu.com/content/7598631
http://evan-roth.com/grey.php

  

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mindful
Charter member
41306 posts
Wed Aug-18-04 07:30 AM

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104. "Belgian Waffles Series"
In response to Reply # 103


  

          

Belgian Waffles Part 3 (Mommy cries for help)

Mom hovers over the sink,
sighs, and wipes her face.

She'll be crying in bed tonite.

Daddy left the kitchen
and went directly to the
bathroom. I heard mommy
mumbling some angry jibberish,
and I said nothing. when she gets
like this, it's best that danny
and I stay outta the way.
a few minutes later, daddy emerges
dressed and ready for a day
none of us knew anything about.
he half-kissed mom's cheek
and slid back over to the table
to kiss us goodbye as well.
we nodded. danny, wiping leftover syrup
from his lip, and me, making invisible
funny faces with my finger tips
on the table cloth...

mommy cleaned us up
and prepared herself for another
saturday afternoon with no husband
around. Walzting outta the
bathroom, she sashayed
down our foyer and turned
to her bedroom. I eased in behind
her, and said, "Mommy, I heard you crying
this morning. Are you okay?"
She stops in mid-step, looks at
the expression on my face, and kinda
mouthed "Yes," before saying it
aloud. I nodded...

Our Saturdays are usually filled with
helping mommy clean the house, and
then going shopping. We cleaned, but
did not visit the mall or the
grocery store. Mommy's eyes were blood-shot
red, and her head she said was "throbbing,"
*whatever that means*
It was 6:30pm on the clock
sitting on mommy's nitestand, and I knew
daddy and I were not going for
ice cream like he promised.
I kissed mommy on her forehead,
closed her door, and
walked down the hall to my room.

I heard mommy again. This time,
she wasn't hiding her cries,
she was screaming, "God, please...
no, not again!"
I said to myself before turning
to Nickelodeon, "not again, what,"
and sank in the sounds of the
Fairly Oddparents, drowning out
mommy's wails.

It's 8:45pm, and still no daddy.

©Tremaine L. Loadholt






================
Gee thanks for the
©Ra




------------------------------
my work
http://meetmsmindful.wordpress.com
http://www.lulu.com/content/7598631
http://evan-roth.com/grey.php

  

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mindful
Charter member
41306 posts
Wed Aug-18-04 07:31 AM

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105. "Belgian Waffles Series"
In response to Reply # 104


  

          

Belgian Waffles Part 4 (Losing Mommy)

It's 8:45pm, and still no daddy.

I turned off my t.v. and
pulled the covers over my head.
I heard what sounded like keys
jingling in our front door.
*must be daddy*
No, it's Charlotte. I guess
she's back from the mall
with her friends.
She creeps into my room
to give me a kiss goodnite.
"Nite, lil bit."
"G'nite."

I watched my sister step
away from my bed,
close my door, and patter
next door to her own room.
*Where's Daddy?*
Mommy must be sleep,
the crying has stopped,
and there's no sound
coming from her room.
I tip-toe down the hall,
softly knock on her door,
and wait.
*knock knock*
No answer.
*knock knock*
"Mommy, it's ciera. Can
I come in?"
Still nothing.

I gave myself permission
to go inside... just to check
on her.
"Mommy?"
There was blood trickling
from mommy's wrists,
her eyes were wide open,
and her mouth was too.
I didn't cry. I just stood there
waiting for her to blink
or cough to let me know
she was playing a game... one
that I couldn't join in on.
I pushed her arm,
tugged onto her shirt,
still nothing.
I felt a scream come outta me
"Charlotte... Charlotte... It's mommy!"
Charlotte hurried down the hall,
grasped my arm with one hand
and held her mouth with the other.
"Step back ciera."
She pulled the covers over mommy's
face, and sat down beside her.

"I have to call 911,
okay Ciera."
"Okay. Mommy's just playing a
game. This isn't like her to play
this long."
I knew she was dead, I didn't
wanna believe it, couldn't
say it... It was there, on my tongue,
like new spit waiting to be rid of, but
I couldn't say it.
"No, mommy's not playing. She's
dead, Ciera. She won't be
playing anymore."
2 tears fell from Charlotte's eyes
and landed into the crease of her
left palm.

I just stood there,
cold, tired, and in disbelief.







================
Gee thanks for the
©Ra




------------------------------
my work
http://meetmsmindful.wordpress.com
http://www.lulu.com/content/7598631
http://evan-roth.com/grey.php

  

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mindful
Charter member
41306 posts
Wed Aug-18-04 07:32 AM

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106. "Belgian Waffles Series"
In response to Reply # 105


  

          

Belgian Waffles Part 5 (Saying Goodbye)

I just stood there,
cold, tired, and in disbelief.

the amublance came,
they put mommy on something
Charlotte said was called a
"gurney" and rolled her outta
the house. i asked if they were
going to save her and the man
with the funny looking mustache
said, "there's nothing we can do
sweetheart. she was already
dead when we got here."

i went to danny's room, made sure
he was still asleep. he was.
i heard daddy's voice, he was screaming,
loud and again and again.
"Sarah, Baby, I'm sorry. No, just
lemme touch her, please. I'm sorry baby,
I'm sorry."
what was he sorry for?
sorry for making mommy cry all
of the time? sorry for not
keeping his promise about ice
cream? sorry for never being there
when we need him? what could he possibly
be sorry for?

Charlotte tugged my jammies, then
picked me up and gave me a long-tite
hug... i found comfort in her
bosom. sadened, confused, but not alone.
i escaped from her grasp,
ran down the stairs,
and tapped the man with the funny
mustache on his leg.
"what can i do for you little lady?"
"can i tell my mommy goodbye?"
"yes sweetheart, you sure can."
"goodbye mommy." i froze. stood there
watching them prop the gurney inside
the ambulance and waved.

Charlotte came to get me from
outside, she was crying. Her eyes
were red from the pain. We walked,
hand in hand, back into our house...
that would no longer be a home.

©Tremaine L. Loadholt





================
Gee thanks for the
©Ra




------------------------------
my work
http://meetmsmindful.wordpress.com
http://www.lulu.com/content/7598631
http://evan-roth.com/grey.php

  

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mindful
Charter member
41306 posts
Wed Aug-18-04 07:36 AM

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107. "Belgian Waffles Series"
In response to Reply # 106


  

          

Belgian Waffles Part 6 (Getting By)

We walked,
hand in hand, back into our house...
that would no longer be a home.

Daddy was sitting on the top stair
with his hands covering his face,
sobbing like some little school-boy.
I looked up at Charlotte, her face
was steaming red, like if I were to
touch it, the heat from it would burn
my skinny fingers. She winced at him,
clasped her grip to me even tighter, and I
... confused at what was taking place,
just held on.

"You are the cause of all of this.
You always were, and you always will be."
Charlotte's words were sharp as they
were painful. Daddy looked up from his
hands, his eyes red, lashes sticking to
each other and said, "I never meant
to hurt her. I never meant..."
Charlotte didn't seem pleased.
She picked me up, carried me down
the hall, and laid me in my bed.
She sat beside me until I fell asleep.

"Please tell me you don't hate me.
I don't think I can have my oldest gurl
hating me for the rest of my life."
I was awakened by what seemed to be
a mixture of Daddy's sobbing, and
Charlotte's high-pitched screaming.
"I don't hate you, but I don't like you.
What are we going to do without momma?
Who's going to be here when I get
home from school? Who's going to help
Ciera when I'm at cheerleading practice?
Who's going to take care of Danny?"
I heard her cry out loud, and I crept
from my bed, tip-toed down the hall, and
took my place by the kitchen wall.

"Are you okay, Charlotte.?"
I hadn't realized a tear was
trickling down my face. I hadn't
realized it was past 2:00 am, and that
I wasn't supposed to be out of bed.
"I'm okay lil bit. You should be in bed."
She said to me as she wiped her face.
"Why are you crying then? Are you
going to leave like mommy too?"
"No, lil bit. I ain't going
anywhere. Daddy might tho."

What did she mean? Where
was Daddy going?
"You leave, I can take care of
them on my own. You never bothered
to help mommy out anyway.
Charlotte, a budding 18-year old
"Straight-A student" mouthed off
to Daddy as if he'd stolen
her most prized possession. And maybe,
he had.
"I can't leave you guys on your own.
It wouldn't be rite. Your momma
wouldn't rest at all."
"Go to her, don't act like
a father now. She's been
keeping you away from us this long,
now shouldn't be any different."

My father looked up at me,
pulled me into his arms and whispered,
"I still owe you some ice cream."
He got up from the table,
straddled down the hall, and
before we could turn around, I heard the sound
we link to him the most... the door
slowly closing behind him.
Charlotte sat there twiddling her
thumbs and biting her lower lip.
We were going to be on our
own from now on.
"Don't worry lil bit, we'll
get by.

©Tremaine L. Loadholt






================
Gee thanks for the
©Ra




------------------------------
my work
http://meetmsmindful.wordpress.com
http://www.lulu.com/content/7598631
http://evan-roth.com/grey.php

  

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BarTek
Member since Nov 10th 2002
51250 posts
Sat Aug-28-04 05:04 PM

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155. "RE: Belgian Waffles Series pt. 6"
In response to Reply # 107


  

          

My father looked up at me,
pulled me into his arms and whispered,
"I still owe you some ice cream."
He got up from the table,
straddled down the hall, and
before we could turn around, I heard the sound
we link to him the most... the door
slowly closing behind him.
Charlotte sat there twiddling her
thumbs and biting her lower lip.
We were going to be on our
own from now on.
"Don't worry lil bit, we'll
get by.


~~
Exhale.

I think this is my favorite piece of your writing. You invoked many emotions, memories, and feelings, that allow this piece, to be a lasting impression. I am left, in thought, as it is difficult to juggle every thought and emotion you presented. The scene's were very visual and full of color, light, and sound. I see the story through the eyes of a young child and I understand why some parts are written as they are. I loved the small pieces of this story, such as the short references, or the small descriptions of everyday things, that we do not really notice or pay any mind to. I thought it was brilliant, and I was wondering if you could post another series.

Thank you Tremaine, this was a great read.

Peace.

let's play ping pong ■

  

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BarTek
Member since Nov 10th 2002
51250 posts
Sat Aug-28-04 04:57 PM

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154. "RE: Belgian Waffles Series pt. 5"
In response to Reply # 106


  

          

We walked,
>hand in hand, back into our house...
>that would no longer be a home.


Peace.

let's play ping pong ■

  

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BarTek
Member since Nov 10th 2002
51250 posts
Sat Aug-28-04 04:56 PM

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153. "RE: Belgian Waffles Series pt.4"
In response to Reply # 105


  

          

The Blood and Tears dripped together.

Briliant Stuff.

PEace.

let's play ping pong ■

  

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BarTek
Member since Nov 10th 2002
51250 posts
Sat Aug-28-04 04:53 PM

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152. "RE: Belgian Waffles Series pt.3"
In response to Reply # 104
Sat Aug-28-04 04:54 PM

  

          

and me, making invisible
funny faces with my finger tips
on the table cloth...

I loved reading these lines, and I remember I read them before. I don't even know where to begin to explain to you what they mean to me. I love them.

...

As I read on, I felt sadness. Peace.

let's play ping pong ■

  

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BarTek
Member since Nov 10th 2002
51250 posts
Sat Aug-28-04 04:49 PM

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151. "RE: Belgian Waffles Series pt.2"
In response to Reply # 103


  

          

Billiant opening, I wonder, as I am amazed at how well you synchronize each person and event to build a story, that is very interesting and soulful. Beautiful Write Tremaine.

Peace.

let's play ping pong ■

  

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KnowOne
Charter member
39942 posts
Thu Aug-19-04 02:34 AM

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109. "nice to see this all in one place....."
In response to Reply # 102


  

          

just as impressive as the 1st time.....

_________________________________________
"Too weird to live.... too rare to die..."

IG: KnowOne215 | PS+ ID: KnowOne215

  

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delsbrothergeorge
Charter member
4413 posts
Sat Aug-21-04 09:38 AM

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115. "co-sign"
In response to Reply # 109


          

i was wondering whether you'd do something like this.

glad you chose this series.

---i'm here---

"...do what scares you..." -- l. varela

  

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mindful
Charter member
41306 posts
Sat Aug-21-04 12:38 PM

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116. "this is my favorite series... *nods* nm"
In response to Reply # 115


  

          








================
Gee thanks for the
©Ra




------------------------------
my work
http://meetmsmindful.wordpress.com
http://www.lulu.com/content/7598631
http://evan-roth.com/grey.php

  

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BarTek
Member since Nov 10th 2002
51250 posts
Sat Aug-28-04 04:46 PM

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150. "RE: Belgian Waffles Series pt. 1"
In response to Reply # 102


  

          

lol, too cute.

I giggle because he's 2 and
he doesn't know any better.

The imagery was wonderful here Tremaine. The scene you presented was warm, and very sweet. It made me luagh very softly because you inspired some candy excitement from my child hood. lol


let's play ping pong ■

  

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OkayPlayerChic
Charter member
633 posts
Wed Aug-18-04 04:14 PM

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108. "bout time"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

nods to the both of ya!

www.soulrenewed.blogspot.com

  

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blaksilence
Charter member
1533 posts
Thu Aug-19-04 09:51 AM

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112. "let me pay my respect"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

to the two names that people love the most on here.

one of which is one of the reasons why i logged onto okp in the first place
and the other is one of the reasons why i kept coming back.

nice to see talent get recognized.

keep writing.

see yall on Oprah.

_____________________________________

The cry I bring down from the hills
__________belongs to a girl still burning
__________inside my head. At daybreak

____________________she burns like a piece of paper. - YK

  

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Decstar
Member since Jan 22nd 2003
2278 posts
Fri Aug-20-04 08:45 AM

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113. "ya'll aint gonna catch me..."
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

(lik smiles)

this is mos def a honor to witness a month of such mass talent and beautifulness from our a couple of our somewhat foundin foremothers of tha boards.

lol

i am so sorry i missed out some, but will be sure to reply and read before tha end of tha month.

forever in debt in words, love and appreciation to you ladies, especially mind.

continue shining, ladies.


"There is nothing more poetic, but depressing than a male writer" -yours truly

  

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mindful
Charter member
41306 posts
Sun Aug-22-04 08:24 AM

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117. "striking out"
In response to Reply # 0
Sun Aug-22-04 08:25 AM

  

          

striking out

and if heaven broke thru
and dropped massive pieces of
sky our way---i'd crack knowing
the Gods wanted u to leave.
there's nothing more precious
than watching love explode from
your eyes. hearing giggles erupt
from your mouth. kismet.

i told
u this
months ago

and i'll stick by our bond
cuz that's how much i believe
in fuckin time. it's how much
i know the line has been
written, and its path
is ours to follow.

i can't do anything but
wait. and waiting is
what i've been doing my
entire life, then u
came to it. fear subsided,
lack of love and understanding
manisfested itself as a seat
in my soul. if i were
to lose this game,
u'd win 2-1, cuz... i suck
at tossing stones.

the world... is sitting on
my shoulders and the only
thing i'm thinking about
is you. imagine being
that heavy ass burden in which
i have to carry around...
friendships are sposed to
rise above water and spit
fire into the eyes of demons---
i haven't lost yet.

©Tremaine L. Loadholt






================
Gee thanks for the
©Ra




------------------------------
my work
http://meetmsmindful.wordpress.com
http://www.lulu.com/content/7598631
http://evan-roth.com/grey.php

  

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clarion
Member since Jul 07th 2003
9469 posts
Tue Aug-24-04 02:42 AM

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118. "sometimes i wonder"
In response to Reply # 117


  

          

do the ppl in your life really realize how much u luv them & how ur willing to work towards making things works...so ok imma write this piece out, thank u for inspiring it..

----------------------------
the power of ur voice means more than what u hear..

..

  

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BarTek
Member since Nov 10th 2002
51250 posts
Sat Aug-28-04 04:37 PM

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148. "RE: striking out"
In response to Reply # 117


  

          

the world... is sitting on
my shoulders and the only
thing i'm thinking about
is you. imagine being
that heavy ass burden in which
i have to carry around...
friendships are sposed to
rise above water and spit
fire into the eyes of demons---
i haven't lost yet.

~~~

That was a beautiful ending, to a very potent piece of writing from you. I believe in who you are, and I do not believe that you are to be destroyed. I do not think you will lose.

Peace.

let's play ping pong ■

  

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paperdollpoet
Charter member
2238 posts
Tue Aug-24-04 07:52 PM

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119. ""this is based on a true story""
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

"this is based on a true story"

whatever you do--
don't fall in love with a poet
cause he will write you love poems in trick ink
that only appears for 5 nites
& after that you'll search every day
in every eye
& every (piece of) you
& every love
for those words again

you'll spend your last dollar on a scratch-off ticket
then use your pride to scrape the silver off
hoping to match up the right words to win the jackpot of him
but half way thru the scratching, when you realize the odds of winning the grand prize are unrealistic
you'll blow off the silver scrapings gathering on the ticket, as if you were blowing out birthday candles
whispering a promise to god that you'll return
IF he/she/they/it
at least let you get the pay off prize
of winning your worth back

which, of course, you won't win that back either

so you'll make grand plans
to stick your middle finger up at god
on judgment day
cause by then you would have gotten used
to living in hell, any way

but
that's only if there is a god
cause somewhere along the way
from the 5th night to now
you will have dropped your faith
in a homeless man's cup
while he was standing outside of 7-11
and you were still searching
for a working pay phone
to anonymously call your mother from
and curse her out for naming you beautiful
but not giving you the right backbone to walk straight enough
blaming your curved spine for always leading you
in the wrong directions

in cycles, even

that's why you won't be able to stop yourself
from dialing his number
instead of calling your mother
& you'll hope (not pray) that the static on the fked up pay phone you found
will drown out your breathing
cause
this magical wordsmith type nigga might recognize it
& put it in his next poem
entitled "leave me alone"

not giving your ass a mention in the foot notes

but still you'll read it
as if the secret to becoming a millionaire by 29
was hidden in it
you'll summons the memory of 10th grade biology
so you can dissect each word skillfully
to see
if maybe
he stashed the poem he once wrote for you
underneath

& you will dig

layer after layer
until you've stripped the words so bare
that all you have left
is space
& the poet in YOU
will laugh at the irony

that's when you'll realize
you better write yourself a poem
to serve as a reminder
to never fall in love with a poet
again.


---
→ → →

living my life like it's broken.

www.sheflypaper.com

  

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paperdollpoet
Charter member
2238 posts
Wed Aug-25-04 06:50 AM

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120. "toot toot"
In response to Reply # 119


  

          

i have read this piece so many times i know it by heart already.


---
→ → →

living my life like it's broken.

www.sheflypaper.com

  

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mindful
Charter member
41306 posts
Wed Aug-25-04 07:20 AM

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121. "to never fall in love with a poet again"
In response to Reply # 119


  

          

you know. i was just thinking on how i can't read "The Light (MsMind)" by him anymore... Like i saved it cuz he wrote it for me, like... i can't even look at the title without wrenching or feeling some sort of disgust... does that mean i'm still not over him. i mean, it's been 2 years ya know. got big ass hips and soulful ass lips from growing into my new self... and i've vowed to never believe a word a poet/writer says... never to really trust it... cuz we know how to work words, how to coax them into being what we really want them to be... we know how to... "kick game" without even breaking a sweat...

which, of course, you won't win that back either

so you'll make grand plans
to stick your middle finger up at god
on judgment day
cause by then you would have gotten used
to living in hell, any way

but
that's only if there is a god
cause somewhere along the way
from the 5th night to now
you will have dropped your faith
in a homeless man's cup
while he was standing outside of 7-11
and you were still searching
for a working pay phone
to anonymously call your mother from
and curse her out for naming you beautiful
but not giving you the right backbone to walk straight enough
blaming your curved spine for always leading you
in the wrong directions

in cycles, even

that's why you won't be able to stop yourself
from dialing his number
instead of calling your mother
& you'll hope (not pray) that the static on the fked up pay phone you found
will drown out your breathing
cause
this magical wordsmith type nigga might recognize it
& put it in his next poem
entitled "leave me alone"

i am so happy you wrote this... and words... aren't enough to "pay it forward" but they are definitely a grand start... get your grow on love...






================
Gee thanks for the
©Ra




------------------------------
my work
http://meetmsmindful.wordpress.com
http://www.lulu.com/content/7598631
http://evan-roth.com/grey.php

  

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paperdollpoet
Charter member
2238 posts
Wed Aug-25-04 07:33 AM

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122. "mayne!"
In response to Reply # 121


  

          

i've been waiting like all day for someone to read this cause i have been reading it like crazy & wanted to see if someone else felt the depth of what i was trying to say...

i knew i shoulda just emailed it to you directly last night/this morning. cause after i wrote it i sho nuff jumped online to see if you were there.

thank you.

---
→ → →

living my life like it's broken.

www.sheflypaper.com

  

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mindful
Charter member
41306 posts
Wed Aug-25-04 07:41 AM

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123. "and u know i would be"
In response to Reply # 122


  

          

what we say????


always....


now, to you performing this shit when i get there....


it's a go...or maybe not... but something's gotta be performed, i got way too many pictures to take this time around... like 100 even... and at least 5 has got to be of you doing ur damn thing.

*nods*








================
Gee thanks for the
©Ra




------------------------------
my work
http://meetmsmindful.wordpress.com
http://www.lulu.com/content/7598631
http://evan-roth.com/grey.php

  

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Morehouse
Member since Feb 25th 2003
7568 posts
Thu Aug-26-04 08:43 AM

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129. "for me, the words coax themselves"
In response to Reply # 121


  

          


i never lie...i try to make the truth beautiful.

paperdoll, it was heartfelt. you're great


***********************************


"nothing can compare to the warmth of my mouth" -Janet

***********************************
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=500290931


myself is sculptor of
your body’s idiom:
the musician of your wrists;
the poet who is afraid
only to mistranslate
a rhythm in your hair...
-E.E. Cummings

  

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soulchild
Member since Dec 25th 2003
1272 posts
Wed Aug-25-04 11:51 AM

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124. "was nodding around here:"
In response to Reply # 119
Wed Aug-25-04 11:54 AM

  

          

and you were still searching
for a working pay phone
to anonymously call your mother from
and curse her out for naming you beautiful
but not giving you the right backbone to walk straight enough
blaming your curved spine for always leading you
in the wrong directions

in cycles, even

that's why you won't be able to stop yourself
from dialing his number
instead of calling your mother
& you'll hope (not pray) that the static on the fked up pay phone you found
will drown out your breathing
cause
this magical wordsmith type nigga might recognize it
& put it in his next poem
entitled "leave me alone"

this piece reads well. i think that's true with most of your work. one thing flows into the next, then the next, then the next. i also liked that you used 2nd person.

soul.



  

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Imagination_7
Member since Jun 10th 2003
1580 posts
Thu Aug-26-04 08:22 AM

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127. ":)"
In response to Reply # 119


  

          

*sigh*
Lei... I wanna be like you when I grow up...



"Imagination is more important than knowledge. Knowledge is limited. Imagination encircles the world." - Albert Einstein


Lesley

  

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BarTek
Member since Nov 10th 2002
51250 posts
Sat Aug-28-04 04:40 PM

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149. "RE: "this is based on a true story""
In response to Reply # 119


  

          


>cause somewhere along the way
>from the 5th night to now
>you will have dropped your faith
>in a homeless man's cup
>while he was standing outside of 7-11
>and you were still searching

I find comfort in knowing that we have shared this thought.



>
>layer after layer
>until you've stripped the words so bare
>that all you have left
>is space
>& the poet in YOU
>will laugh at the irony
>

Loving every word.

Peace.

let's play ping pong ■

  

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mindful
Charter member
41306 posts
Wed Aug-25-04 06:05 PM

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125. "The Worst Kind of Betrayal"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

The Worst Kind of Betrayal.

He meant the world to her. He was more than a lover…more than a friend… more than a husband…even more than a soul mate. He was practically part of her physical being! Too bad she would have to kill him…… It was your average Monday evening. Karen came home from work promptly at 5:35pm, kicked off her shoes, and de-clothed---naked at last. She pranced around the house in all her glory, awaiting the man she'd been married to for 6 years. Rob was a calm person, down to earth, loved Karen, but had this "sneaky" aura about him. Lately, he'd been "dipping out" late ate nite while she rested. No one knew what he was doing. Not even his boys.

Tuesday morning arrived. *beep* *beep* Karen's alarm rang 6:45am as loud as it pleased. She snoozed for an extra 20 minutes, then jumped up to wash, eat, and get dressed. Rob was already gone. No kiss. No "I Love You" or "See you tonite." And these were his actions and words every morning. She thought nothing of it, and moved on. At work, she was 115%. No one could compete with her. She'd been working for DataLog Systems for 8 years, and was a computer programmer for 4.
Her boss knew he could depend on her for anything, and today was one of those days.” Karen, we really need you to stay an hour later today. There are some programs that Candace and I cannot figure out, and it would be great if you could assist us. It should not take longer than an hour, but prepare yourself for about 2.

"Karen squinted and couldn't believe she'd be there for an extra 2 hours, but she agreed to do so.”All right Mr. Thomas. That's fine...."
She foned Rob at his job to let him know she'd be home later than expected. This was okay with him. Their conversation was choppy, hurried, and didn't end with the usual "See you later alligator." She wiped the small sweat beads building on her forehead. Anxiety did this to her. She was anxious about staying late at her job, about Rob and whatever was going on to make him act the way he was acting.
"Karen, these have got to be the wrong codes because, they don't seem to pull up the information needed for this account," Candace said. Karen massaged her temples, and asked Candace to move so that she could take a look at the program and try to figure it out. It took 30 minutes and 2 cups of coffee, but she did it.
"Here's the problem. Someone entered a 5 in the area which a 4 is supposed to be." Looking at numbers all day on a screen was something that came natural to Karen. "I hope this was all that was needed. I really should be getting home now." Her boss excused her. She exchanged "Good evenings" and "See you tomorrows" with both of them and left.
At home, Rob was engaging in what could be farthest from Karen's mind. It was an affair. He did not have some sexy 26 year old riding his dick as she envisioned. Camera going, her favorite CD on Track 4 in the background and, the candles weren't even lit in the living room. Instead, he was fucking someone who was close to Karen. Someone who knew every inch of her, and every move she made. She walked slowly towards their bedroom, hands shaking, and eyes watering. She could hear the moans. Rob's, "Oh My God" rite before he came was so familiar to her, she knew she would scream. She knew she would yell out to him her hurt... her pain... She pushed their bedroom door open with such force, the contact with the wall left a small indentation of the door knob in its place. It was true. She saw the two of them. Rob, and on top of him, her mother.
"Oh Shit! Baby, you're home early. Um... Shit! Shit!"
"Karen, now don't go and do anything stupid," her mother shouted.
Karen tuned them out. She turned around, walked slowly towards the bathroom, and then sat down on the toilet. Everything that had ever happened to her flashed before her eyes. She hid a small handgun in a crevice behind their toilet. Her eyes watering, hands still shaking, heart bursting inside. Karen got up from the toilet, walked back into the bedroom, and watched her husband and her mother scurry to dress themselves. Their bodies revealed in synch to her.
She spotted Rob. She pointed, aimed directly at his dick. *pow pow* The shots rang out, her mother with her back turned at first, switched positions and saw the tears in her daughter's eyes. Rob screamed and yelled obscenities that flew over Karen's head. She walked up to him, looked him dead in his eyes, and pulled the trigger once more. His head split in 2, and blood shattered all over the place. Karen walked away. From her mother. From her now dead husband. From the life she came to know.
She sat outside on their spacious porch and longed for the new life that awaited her. "Life in prison is worth it," she whispered.

©Tremaine L. Loadholt




================
Gee thanks for the
©Ra






------------------------------
my work
http://meetmsmindful.wordpress.com
http://www.lulu.com/content/7598631
http://evan-roth.com/grey.php

  

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Imagination_7
Member since Jun 10th 2003
1580 posts
Thu Aug-26-04 08:26 AM

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128. "Damn girl!"
In response to Reply # 125


  

          

That was some foul shit!
I saw it playing in my head.
Wooooo.


"Imagination is more important than knowledge. Knowledge is limited. Imagination encircles the world." - Albert Einstein


Lesley

  

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BarTek
Member since Nov 10th 2002
51250 posts
Sat Aug-28-04 12:48 PM

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139. "RE: Chilling.."
In response to Reply # 125


  

          

I felt many shivers when she whispered at the end. This was a great story, and this also felt like, release, and acceptance of your more dangerous and wild side. I liked reading this a lot.

Peace

let's play ping pong ■

  

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BarTek
Member since Nov 10th 2002
51250 posts
Sat Aug-28-04 05:29 PM

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157. "RE: Well...Paperdollpoet & Mindful"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

This was the first and only AOTM that I have fully read and experienced. I want to begin by saying, that I would love to send each of you flowers. lol
You are both wonderful and strong women, and I have learned more about life, and experience by reading your poetry. Each piece has inspired me to, be a better and stronger man for the woman I love, and to cherish and hold most dear the emotions, feelings, and thoughts that resonate on this level of female experience. She is a very talented writer, and I do not ever want to inspire her with pain and poetry such as I have experienced in this collection. You have described a pain that would surely suffocate me. I cannot be a channel of this pain to another, and I want to thank both of you, for guiding me and allowing me to share in this, because you have made me a better man and human being. Paperdollpoet, your writing is superb, and I am deeply humbled by your pen and experiences as a woman. Mindful, you posess a bright, inquisitive, and wonderful soul, that is wonder some and full of bright knowledge. I have to frown at you for not posting more though.
I think both of you have much to teach, and this has been a very bright experience for me. I won't forget it. Hand on Heart.

Peace.

With my last breath here, I want to say that I love my Lovely Lady very deeply.

let's play ping pong ■

  

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paperdollpoet
Charter member
2238 posts
Sun Aug-29-04 04:56 PM

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166. "i am humbled."
In response to Reply # 157


  

          

i had to clutch my chest when i read your comments.

that is the best compliment i have ever been given, ever.

& if tomorrow my words forget to write me again. or i pass thru this life into the next. i will have felt accomplished.

thank you couldn't even begin to describe that which i owe you.

---
→ → →

living my life like it's broken.

www.sheflypaper.com

  

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mindful
Charter member
41306 posts
Sun Aug-29-04 05:18 PM

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167. "he is... or shall i say his words..."
In response to Reply # 166


  

          

are what people look for in writing...

we may not always say it, but we damn sure... want/feel it...

*nods tek*




=======================
Gee thanks for the
©Ra

~~~




------------------------------
my work
http://meetmsmindful.wordpress.com
http://www.lulu.com/content/7598631
http://evan-roth.com/grey.php

  

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mindful
Charter member
41306 posts
Sun Aug-29-04 11:17 AM

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158. "The War has just Begun Series"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

the war has just begun (Part 1)

she clinches her fist tight
to her chest,
feeling the woman she's become,
so young... yet, so old.
this gurl, the daughter
of many ancestors passed,
her main goal is---
taking on the world at her
leisure.. tried and true, ms...
"lemme have this for 50 cents,
and I'll pay you back" typa gurl.
never willing to pay her
debt, the war has just begun.

her hands show ages of insight,
just not seen by others.
I remember chatting with her,
never saying much, she'd
respond here or there,
and nod her head a time or two.
"you like talking, huh?"
she loved to ask me that.
not watching her like I should,
she'd dip in and out of
my life. curious to know
him, her, and him too.
she never found her own
spotlight..

on our street,
not too far from mrs. lee,
and mrs. brown, she'd skip
with her bows and beads, all
smiles. i wasn't fond of her,
she stole from the candy lady
and everyone knew it. so a
gang of gurls followed her
home from school one day,
one shouting, "I saw you, I saw
you," just as loud as the day is
clear... ran up on her first...

I was sitting on my porch, legs
dangling, eating a dreamsicle, and casually
trying to lick the vanilla goodness
from my fingers... when I heard them.
vanessa (that's her name), all smiles,
still skipping, ignored the chants,
and lost her mind.
the gurl who was shouting, suddenly
stopped.. and for the life of me,
I didn't know why.
the war has just begun.

©Tremaine L. Loadholt 2003 All rights reserved






=======================
Gee thanks for the
©Ra

~~~




------------------------------
my work
http://meetmsmindful.wordpress.com
http://www.lulu.com/content/7598631
http://evan-roth.com/grey.php

  

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mindful
Charter member
41306 posts
Sun Aug-29-04 11:18 AM

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159. "The War has just Begun Series"
In response to Reply # 158


  

          

Friday, August 08, 2003
The War Has Just Begun

The Witness (Part 2)

and as she stopped,
I saw vanessa clinching
a small silver blade in her hand,
smiling (like she always does).
the gurl... once shouting,
mouth wide, now scared,
hands covering her screams,
darted her eyes my way,
while I sat, legs still dangling,
fingertips cold, and body shaking.
The war has just begun.

I, conscious of what was
about to go down,
ran up my stairs shouting,
"momma, momma, come quick."
my mother with her hair
wrapped up in a scarf, sucked her teeth
and reminded me
that her stories were on, and it
had better be important.
... "momma, vanessa out
there bout to cut one of dem
gurls with a blade."
"What!!!"

We ran back outside,
witnessed the dark
blood leaking from the corners of
the gurl's mouth, and knew
we were too late.
vanessa with her too bad
to be good self stood there,
not in shock... more like relieved.
dabbed the blade on her
skirt , and casually walked off.

The other gurls ran home,
kicking up dust for miles.
My mother taunted vanessa,
screaming cuss words, and
telling her she "better get back here,"
couldn't' believe what
had happened.
And in the end,,
We were witnesses
to nothing at all..

©Tremaine L. Loadholt





=======================
Gee thanks for the
©Ra

~~~




------------------------------
my work
http://meetmsmindful.wordpress.com
http://www.lulu.com/content/7598631
http://evan-roth.com/grey.php

  

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mindful
Charter member
41306 posts
Sun Aug-29-04 11:19 AM

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160. "The War has just Begun Series"
In response to Reply # 159


  

          

Sunday, August 24, 2003
The War Has Just Begun

Waiting It Out (Part 3)

so, vanessa walked off into
what seemed to be a gloomier than
gloomy night, while my mother and I
watched over this gurl. who was she
anyway? and why did vanessa
do what she did?
I remember them shouting at her,
was this gurl part of the same
crew that taunted vanessa
at school every single day?
making fun of her clothes,
her hair, her.. not so.. new shoes???
The war has just begun.

"Yes, this is Claire, we need
an ambulance at 122 E. Main St.
A little gurl, I'm guessing maybe 13
has been cut. Please send someone
immediately." My mom was shouting
into the operator's ear, while crying
at the same time.. I looked at her,
and then she at me; "mom, why
are u crying, do you know this gurl?"
"No baby, but this could have easily
been you." I hugged her,
just to feel her close to me
since what she needed was just that, at
that very moment.

The ambulance arrived twenty minutes
later, yes.. twenty minutes later.
I sat there, watched this gurl's eyes
fade in and out, then thought..
*what if this was me?*
"Can you tell me your name, sweety?
My name is Josh. I'm with the EMT,
can u tell me your name?"
And then, with a hush of chopped
up syllables, the gurl spoke;
"I---ttt's A--mm--aand-aa."
Oh My God! Amanda, I know this gurl.
Yeah... that's why vanessa cut
her, that's why.

Remembering that day at school
in the cafeteria, Amanda was
that chick pushing vanessa,
trashing her in front of the entire
4th period Lunch, and I...
sat there, and did nothing. and as soon
as I remembered this, I
didn't feel bad anymore, didn't care
about what vanessa had done.
In all honesty, I kinda felt relieved too,
and wondered where vanessa went.
I wanted to go be with her,
and wait it out,
because a crime had been committed,
and she.. was the culprit.

©Tremaine L. Loadholt




=======================
Gee thanks for the
©Ra

~~~




------------------------------
my work
http://meetmsmindful.wordpress.com
http://www.lulu.com/content/7598631
http://evan-roth.com/grey.php

  

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mindful
Charter member
41306 posts
Sun Aug-29-04 11:21 AM

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161. "The War has just Begun Series"
In response to Reply # 160


  

          

Sunday, September 14, 2003
The War Has Just Begun

No home for vanessa (Part 4)

I wanted to go be with her,
and wait it out...

I followed vanessa's path,
the tracks of her worn
keds showed me the way.
a frail gurl, curly hair,
lonely, dark eyes, she
was sitting under her house when
i arrived. it was a big place.
a big and uninviting place.
The war has just begun.

"Hey."
"What do you want?"
"You cut that gurl's mouth in
front of my house, and you wanna
know what I want? Sup with you?"
"I was tired of her talking
trash about me."
"So that's it, you just cut
her, then leave?"
vaneesa shrugged her shoulders
and cramped up into herself,
rocking her body back and forth.

"Why are you under the house?"
"It's quiet here. No one bothers me
when I'm here."
"Yeah, but you're under your house.
not many people find that comforting."
"Well, I do."
I watched her. She smelled of wind
and sun, like summertime trying
to form into fall. I never liked
that smell.
"I'm not many people."
"You're right, you're not."

I wondered where her parents
were. This was an odd time
for no one to be home, no cars
in the driveway, no other kids'
voices to be heard. Where was
everyone?
"Where are your parents?"
"My mom died when I was 10,
and my dad is never home."
"Do you have any brothers or
sisters?"
"You ask too many questions."
"Well, do you?"
"No, now leave me alone."

I sat there with her,
kinda hovered over her in the dark,
waiting. She seemed comfortable,
and I... well, I was trying to be
there for someone who didn't
want me to be; but somehow, I didn't
care.
We sat there, among mud,
bugs, and the stale air
counting the hours as they passed,

Alone.

©Tremaine L. Loadholt



=======================
Gee thanks for the
©Ra

~~~




------------------------------
my work
http://meetmsmindful.wordpress.com
http://www.lulu.com/content/7598631
http://evan-roth.com/grey.php

  

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mindful
Charter member
41306 posts
Sun Aug-29-04 11:23 AM

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162. "The War has just Begun Series"
In response to Reply # 161


  

          

Friday, October 10, 2003
The War Has Just Begun (Part 5)

The End

I sat there with her,
kinda hovered over her in the dark,
waiting. She seemed comfortable,
and I... well, I was trying to be
there for someone who didn't
want me to be; but somehow, I didn't
care.
We sat there, among mud,
bugs, and the stale air
counting the hours as they passed,

Alone.

A police car pulled up in front of
the big, old house. vanessa and I
could see it from where we were,
it was a policeman. We both knew
where this was going. He slowly
pulled into the driveway, got
out of his patrol car with his
chest poked out: showing off his ego.
We watched. Still. Peaceful. Good little gurls.
He straddled, checking for his nightstick
and other officer paraphernalia. We
weren't impressed.

*bang bang bang*
He knocked away at the door.
We still sat there, trying not to
breathe.. *bang bang bang*
"Is anyone there? This is Officer Pelote."
He manned the front door, blowing off
steam, and awaiting an answer.
*bang bang bang*
"Hello! This is the Windermere Police. If anyone's
home, I'd like to come in and talk with you
about a little gurl named vanessa."

vanessa shrugged her shoulders,
and dashed from under the house on her knees.
I cried. I noticed her shadow getting
smaller. She was brave. She was being
the vanessa I loved to hate.
"I'm home, and I'm vanessa."
"You know what I'm here for,
don't you little one?"
"Yeah. It's cuz I did something
I wasn't sposed to."
"Yes, and you're in a lot of
trouble, but we'll talk about that down
at the station. Where are your parents?"
"My daddy ain't here, and I don't know where
he is either."
"Your mother?"
"Dead."
"Is there a family member I can call to...?"
"No."
"Okay then, come with me."

Officer Pelote took vanessa by the hand,
escorted her to the back of his
car, and nodded... as if he knew I was there
watching them.
I sat there, wiping the tears away from my
face and mixing them with the dirt.
vanessa wasn't even scared, but
I was... for her.

©Tremaine L. Loadholt






=======================
Gee thanks for the
©Ra

~~~




------------------------------
my work
http://meetmsmindful.wordpress.com
http://www.lulu.com/content/7598631
http://evan-roth.com/grey.php

  

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BarTek
Member since Nov 10th 2002
51250 posts
Sun Aug-29-04 03:07 PM

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165. "RE: The War has just Begun Series pt. 5"
In response to Reply # 162
Sun Aug-29-04 03:08 PM

  

          

> got
>out of his patrol car with his
>chest poked out: showing off his ego.
>We watched. Still. Peaceful. Good little gurls.
>He straddled, checking for his nightstick
>and other officer paraphernalia. We
>weren't impressed.

Hehe, this made me laugh. I saw the policeman too, and I saw him adjust his uniform and prepare himself in the manner that you described. It was an amusing scene through the eyes of 2 little girls.

>
>vanessa shrugged her shoulders,
>and dashed from under the house on her knees.
>I cried. I noticed her shadow getting
>smaller. She was brave. She was being
>the vanessa I loved to hate.

As Vanessa began to leave, so did the story, and for that reason I felt the sadness of the main character. Another very clever piece of writing.

From this point on, the story trickled into dirt, and Vanessa dissapeared out of sight. Hmm, I am thinking of the best words to tell you something...Okay, I think you are very good at story writing, because, each character, and scene, is introduced, and 'removed' evenly, and there is constant balance in your plots. You don't simply say, "She is here, Now she is gone", you say that within the story through the character's personal reflection, and that is an aspect of writing that I have not even thought about until I read this and the other series without pause. Your sentences create subtle poetry as there is a fluid flow, from one part to the next. I am just wondering, what do you plan for when you begin a story? How many elements or structures do you think about if at all?

Another great one Tremaine, post more! lol

PEace.


let's play ping pong ■

  

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mindful
Charter member
41306 posts
Sun Aug-29-04 05:27 PM

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168. "*sighs*"
In response to Reply # 165


  

          

i will tell you as i've told one of my closest friends when... asking about line breaks... i don't think... i just do...

what do you plan for when you begin a story? How many elements or structures do you think about if at all?

it's actually funny. most people have plots, climaxes, things that swim about in their heads in which they can expand on... i have titles... loads and loads of titles, and from those titles, i work characters, plots, events, happenings, and silly little characters whom are all "pieces of me" into the work. *shrugs* i do a lot of reading, a lot of listening to music, a lot of growing, and looking in on my family... so i use what i get from the fake world and the real one. i hope this has answered ur question... and thank u for taking the time out to read them and give the very thorough and obviously thought out responses you have given these series...

*nods*




=======================
Gee thanks for the
©Ra

~~~




------------------------------
my work
http://meetmsmindful.wordpress.com
http://www.lulu.com/content/7598631
http://evan-roth.com/grey.php

  

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BarTek
Member since Nov 10th 2002
51250 posts
Mon Aug-30-04 02:46 AM

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170. "RE: hehe."
In response to Reply # 168


  

          

"pieces
>of me" into the work.

I have picked up on that too, and it's a very completing aspect to your story telling. It's where the soul lies, that much is evident.

*shrugs* i do a lot of reading, a lot
>of listening to music, a lot of growing, and looking in on
>my family... so i use what i get from the fake world and the
>real one. i hope this has answered ur question...

It has. You're a natural. lol

Peace Tremaine.

let's play ping pong ■

  

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BarTek
Member since Nov 10th 2002
51250 posts
Sun Aug-29-04 02:56 PM

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164. "RE: The War has just Begun Series pt.4"
In response to Reply # 161


  

          

This read as the heart of the piece. I realize the climax has passed, but here is where I feel the center. You captured the mood very well, and you showed that Vanessa is, afterall a little girl.

vaneesa shrugged her shoulders
and cramped up into herself,
rocking her body back and forth.

I thought that was very clever. Great visual and it carries the suspense and story which you underlined with:

We sat there, among mud,
bugs, and the stale air
counting the hours as they passed,

Alone.

You have great fluidity. I loved this part.

Peace.

let's play ping pong ■

  

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BarTek
Member since Nov 10th 2002
51250 posts
Sun Aug-29-04 02:51 PM

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163. "RE: The War has just Begun Series, pt. 3"
In response to Reply # 160
Sun Aug-29-04 02:51 PM

  

          

"Yes, this is Claire, we need
an ambulance at 122 E. Main St.
A little gurl, I'm guessing maybe 13
has been cut. Please send someone
immediately." My mom was shouting
into the operator's ear, while crying
at the same time.. I looked at her,
and then she at me; "mom, why
are u crying, do you know this gurl?"
"No baby, but this could have easily
been you." I hugged her,
just to feel her close to me
since what she needed was just that, at
that very moment.

These were my favorite lines from Part 3. I enjoyed the rest of this part, especially when the character begins to like Vanessa. I don't know why, but, I like her too.

Peace.

let's play ping pong ■

  

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KnowOne
Charter member
39942 posts
Tue Aug-31-04 06:44 AM

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173. "still can't beleive...."
In response to Reply # 158


  

          

you don't have a book out yet. (And if you do when can I buy it?)

_________________________________________
"Too weird to live.... too rare to die..."

IG: KnowOne215 | PS+ ID: KnowOne215

  

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TheProdigiousPoet
Member since Aug 12th 2002
4969 posts
Sun Aug-29-04 07:45 PM

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169. "CONGRATS..."
In response to Reply # 0


  

          


Don't Duck

P.S.A.L.M

http://cashmonet.blogspot.com/

http://www.myspace.com/hollisterholliday

  

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PhotoSynthesis
Charter member
16101 posts
Mon Aug-30-04 08:11 AM

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171. "Last Words --"
In response to Reply # 0


          

I scanned --

I read --

I laughed --

I cried --

I marvelled & turned misty eyed --


You ladies -- With your synergy & prose~filled energy -- Have ~lit~ up the board for this month of AUGUST -- And I thank you! -- *smiles*

I haven't replied to each & every post -- But I have read thru them all -- And I just hope that at some point in time, you take this sacred gift of writing -- (((OUTSIDE))) -- And share it with the community -- THE WORLD EVEN!

It don't matter if it's published books or chapbooks -- Local Open Mics or Def Comedy Jam -- Libraries & Schools or Television and Book Signing Venues --

Just get OUT THERE -- And do summthin' with the gift GOD gave you!!! -- *MUCH LOVE & RESPECT*

A guitar string vibrating, a measure of my soul, a breech in the silence --
I've always felt like words come through me & I write them down... they have no master --- gsquared ♥

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/2/photosynthesis_music.htm

  

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Mystic_Elixir
Charter member
1808 posts
Mon Aug-30-04 02:16 PM

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172. "RE: August Artist Of The Month: Paperdollpoet & Mindful"
In response to Reply # 0
Mon Aug-30-04 02:53 PM

          

Miss Mind, huge congratualtions, very well deserved. Congrats to Paperdoll as well. Two real talents.

Much Love!



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~













_______closing remarks______

"Rituals are important. Nowadays it's hip not to be married. I'm not interested in being hip" ---John Lennon, in 1980

"There is nothing nobler or more admirable than when two people who see eye to eye keep house as husband and wife, confounding their enemies and delighting their friends" ---Homer, The Odyssey

"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent"--- E. Roosevelt

"If it is the dirty element that gives pleasure to the act of lust, then the dirtier it is, the more pleasurable it is bound to be."
--Marquis De Sade

"It has, moreover, been proven that horror, nastiness, and the frightful are what give pleasure when one fornicates. Beauty is a simple thing; ugliness is the exceptional thing. And firey imaginations, no doubt, always prefer the extraordinary thing to the simple thing."
--Marquis De Sade



"Show me an artist who is not insane, and I will show you a fraud"---Me

"Love is anterior to life
posterior to death
Initial of creation, and
the exponent of breath"--Emily Dickenson

"And ever has it been that love knows not its own depth until the hour of separation"--Kahlil Gibran

"I am ashamed
to call this love human
and afraid of God
to call it divine"--Rumi (real name Jalal ad-Din Mohammed Balkhi)

"May I be, forward? Before word, is, intent"--Saul Williams

Mystic: One who experiences mystical union, or direct communion with God or Ulitmate reality.

Elixir: A substance held capable of prolonging life indefinitely (also panacea) a sweetened, alcoholic, medicinal solution... I am


  

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paperdollpoet
Charter member
2238 posts
Tue Aug-31-04 07:00 AM

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174. "thank you"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

to everyone who read.

to everyone who commented.

to mindful for sharing the honor with me.

to those who made me write & right, again.

to the inboxes of encouragement &/or questions.

i enjoyed myself more than i thought i would.

& i'm grateful.
---
→ → →

living my life like it's broken.

www.sheflypaper.com

  

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mindful
Charter member
41306 posts
Tue Aug-31-04 07:10 AM

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175. "my thanks"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

to everyone who'd been wanting this for a while... *nods*

to those who took the time to read and perhaps learn and understand us more... thank you.

to paper

doll


poet...

sunshine, it was mroe than an honor to be on the same thread with you in correspondence with our words... i am pleased to have this as one of my memories.

it has been one great ride... very unexpected, yet... loved as well.

*nods*

=======================
and even tho
do all of these things
you ©Jill Scott

~~~




------------------------------
my work
http://meetmsmindful.wordpress.com
http://www.lulu.com/content/7598631
http://evan-roth.com/grey.php

  

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