this just in!<P>New York Post<BR>March 3, 2000<P>New York - Last night, in a bizzare continuation of the violence that has plagued rap "music" throughout the past several years, an obsure rapper by the name of Common alledgedly stabbed a member of the beloved Grammy-winning rap "band" The Roots. The victim, "drummer" Questlove, was attacked at the Kit Kat Club during a record release party for rapper Beanie Sigel in an apparent altercation revolving around downloadable MP3s.<P>According to witnesses, Common angerly entered the venue draped in eye-scorching african dashikis after scuffling outside with anti-fur activists who had been taunting him mercilessly for his full-length clubbed-baby-seal jacket. Onlookers said that Common made a "beeline" for the plump Quest, who was blissfully sipping expensive champagnes while cradling his recently-won Grammy. "I saw it all", said a visibly-shaken rapper named Dice Raw, "as Common pushed through the crowd, he looked like a raging grizzy with that crazy coat of his." <P>When Common finally reached the frolicking Quest, who by now had jubilantly wedged the Grammy into his well-endowed afro, he withdrew a small knife from the folds of his mu-mu and plunged the blade into into Quest's ample midsection. Onlookers claim that Common whispered, "I used to love her", as he commenced his savage assault. At press time, police investigators have stated that they are unaware of the identity of the female he was referring to. But, said police chief Howard Safir, "if 'her' turns out to be a black male, we will kill him". In the mayhem that ensued after the stabbing, Roots rapper Black Thought was seen crying uncontrollably on stage while a shirtless d'angelo was orally consoled by several women.<P>Industry insiders maintain that the attack was retribution for the rampant MP3ing of Common's forth-coming album "Like Water For Chocolate". MP3's are apparently a way that computer nerds distribute illicit musical materials over the internet during the brief periods of time when they are not exchanging pornography. Thus far in the case, it is not known if normal members of society have any idea what MP3's even are.<P>According to sources close to Common, he believed that Quest, the ringleader of a rogue band of "musicians" called the Soulquarians, was the mastermind behind the MP3 fiasco. "Quest had the access to the master tapes", said a dreadlocked beatboxer who requested anonymity, "and once he started brandishing those iced-out platinum drumsticks and afro-picks, Com was sure he was the culprit". There is speculation that Quest ran his entire piracy operation through an anti-Common web-site known as "Okayplayer", which has branded Common as "racist", "demonic" and "atheist".<P><BR>you better bring me some muthafuckin' cognac or i'll kill you -- supherb<P>words ought to be a little wild for they are the assault of thoughts on the unthinking -- john maynard keynes
<BR>--res-one-->you know my f*ckin name I rule all game...<BR>LPP for life (light pockets posse)<BR>peace, okayplayers...<P><BR>knowledge, wisdom, and understanding: with these three elements of life, we must build a better world, teach the young and old, use natural resources to uplift the people, not to make individuals rich, but to put the Human mind back on the right path and get rid of sick racist mentalities.- Afrika Baambaataa<P><BR><a href="http://www.mumia.org" target="_blank">http://www.mumia.org</a>
2. "Guinness gets my vote!!!" In response to Reply # 0
As the funniest okayplayer........just about every post of his makes me laff my ass off........<P>*ample midsection*<BR>*orally consoled*<P>LOL......that's the shit right there.<P>Peace,<BR>Phil<P>"Petty Thoughts for Petty Minds." - Phil Copyright 2000<BR>"Okayplayer.com, first the Web, next, the World!" - Phil copyright 1999<BR>"Phil, You're a Genius" - Kayci Copyright 1999<BR>"I'm not a genius, I just say what other people should be thinking." - Phil Copyright 1999<BR>"Girl, you so chicken, your Grandfather's name is Colonel Sanders" - Phil Copyright 1999<BR>"You must have verbal diarrhea cuz all you do is talk shit." Phil Copyright 1999
9. "Even the brilliance of bennie," In response to Reply # 4
couldn't brighten such a dismal spot.<P>BLING! BLING!<P>I AM BLACK MUSIC <P>"Ima put a curse on you. Might as well cause honestly, don't want no one to have you but me....." Sleepy's Theme <P>"Now, who else wanna fuck with Hollywood Coles?"- Dre/Kast<P>"Guess I shoulda known by the way you parked your car sideways that it wouldn't last." - Prince<P>"If trouble were money, I swear I'd be a millionaire" - Stokely/MintCondition<P>"The quickest way to fire's heart, is through her ears" - fire<P>"But, here I is slaving away for the man instead of entertaining the masses." - fire<P>"Bitch, tone this!" - Stress<P>
________________________________________ who gonna check me boo?!
BLING! BLING!<P>I AM BLACK MUSIC <P>"Ima put a curse on you. Might as well cause honestly, don't want no one to have you but me....." Sleepy's Theme <P>"Now, who else wanna fuck with Hollywood Coles?"- Dre/Kast<P>"Guess I shoulda known by the way you parked your car sideways that it wouldn't last." - Prince<P>"If trouble were money, I swear I'd be a millionaire" - Stokely/MintCondition<P>"The quickest way to fire's heart, is through her ears" - fire<P>"But, here I is slaving away for the man instead of entertaining the masses." - fire<P>"Bitch, tone this!" - Stress<P>
________________________________________ who gonna check me boo?!
7. "hell of a writer, bennie" In response to Reply # 0
too bad your rhymes aren't this good or else you might have actually beaten me....<P><a href="http://www.thehungersite.com" target="_blank">http://www.thehungersite.com</a><P>"I ain't no goddamn son of a bitch--you'd better think about it, baby!"<BR> --Glenn Danzig (Misfits)<P>"Where the F*CK is my purse icon??????"
::::::::::::: "And I know what the fuck an option quarterback is. He's the black QB under six feet that ends up being converted to wide receiver once he's selected on day two of the NFL draft because he can't hit the ocean from the edge of a boat."
10. "you are on some hilarious tip!!!" In response to Reply # 0
i give you so much love for that wild imagination of yours! (can't stop laughing) the pictures in my head while reading it...quest and common hahaha!!! what do you say about working for me? you know writing my long ass creative writing essays...$10 each...lol<P> THE notrious B.I.Z KARLEE<P>okay...have you heard of a born again christian? well im a born again okayplayer boards poster so i still dont have a quote!<BR>
Looks like Guin has the March funniest post wrapped up already! I loved it and laughed so hard a work I made a scene. Brillant work kid. <P><P>Peace and love,<BR>-Ben (iLL)<P><P>"We Love Hip Hop!" -The Cake<P>Rupert Cadwell:"Brandon has told me a lot about you."<BR>Janet Walker:"Did he do me justice?"<BR>Rupert Cadwell:"Do you deserve Justice?"<BR>From Aflred Hitchcok's "Rope" (1948)<P>"The cures all ills and wrongs, the cares, the sorrows and the crimes of humanity, all lie in the one word "love". It is the divine vitality that everywhere produces and restores life."<BR>-Lydia Maria Child<P>"You can't fight in here, this is the war room!" -President Merkin Muffly(Peter Sellers) in "Dr. Strangelove"<P>A man that works with his hands is a laborer; a man who works with his brain is a craftsman; but a man who works with his hands and his brain and his heart is an artist. -Louis Nizer<P>"Wow! If its in a book, it MUST be true!" -Milhouse from "The Simpsons"<P>I can't knock you for not knowing/ But I could for you not wanting to learn/ Nor for asking/ But I could for you not willing to earn/ No I can't, for someone to even havta tell me twice/ So this music is my sacrifice/ So I be dedicated, determinated, and dependable/ To demonstrate directly/ And use the opportunity correctly/ So forget the gold teeth/ Forget the bald head/ forget it sound country/ Just remember what I said... <BR>-Atlanta's own Cee-Loo of the Goodie Mob
14. "You are 1 funny ass cat!!" In response to Reply # 0
Dawg, you had me rollin’! this was classic!<BR>i almost spit evian all over my computer.<P>FREE COMMON!!!!!<P>peace<BR>incog<P>~~~<BR>a wise man once said<BR>an eye for an eye<BR>leaves everybody blind<BR>i’ve always listened<BR>but today i’ve grown deaf<BR>eye for an eye<BR>i<BR>am preparing to go to war<BR>but i cant see to find my sword<BR>-incog<P>“i express like an interstate/ hyper when i ventilate”<BR>-common
i'm glad people enjoyed reading my article. <P>by the way, did anyone hear about common offering stress his fur coat in exchange for her taking responsibility for his ghost-written will smith cd's when they were apprehended after trying to flee the scene of the crime?<P><BR>you better bring me some muthafuckin' cognac or i'll kill you -- supherb<P>words ought to be a little wild for they are the assault of thoughts on the unthinking -- john maynard keynes