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How has my environment influenced aspects of my personality…
If I lived in the sudan I think I would be a different person. I acknowledge that its harder to be a self if you are in an environment where that ‘self is not really defined/acknowledged/ or whatever. I would probably be married- after my mother had received her 100 or so cows. (dinkas!). I don’t know. My family that did live in the sudan are very conservative… y’know. I’d have hated myself if I had ended up *that kind of person (not that I dislike my family, I just much prefer my openness).
It’s one reason I appreciate my American experience. I know when I left Kenya, it was out of a need to breathe, really. Living at home, with a stepdad situation that was not at all cool, and having my mother want to dictate aspects of my personality was not very healthy for a girl trying to figure out where she was headed in life. I know that I have always been pretty open minded in regards to sexuality, but my attractions to women back (home), were something I was never sure I would be able to express. I know going back to Nairobi right now, there are spaces for alternative lifestyled folks but these are few and far between and you pretty much *have to be in the know. (which I try to be!)
So.. to cut a long story short.. yes I believe I would have been a different person. I probably would (never) have ended up with a female partner if I had lived in southern sudan. It would have probably taken me a couple more years to acknowledge my sexuality if I had stayed in Nairobi…
My experience is very different from my girlfriend’s though. She grew up in dar-es-salaam. She knew many gay spots to hang out in, from what she says even the (homosexual) men/ drag queens are very open about their lifestyle. So she met her 1st girlfriend there…. Mombasa is like dar- from what she describes. It’s a lifestyle that while people don’t talk about, they do see it…. Yes, definitely something about the arabs!
>But thank you kindly.
>I'm not sure,Aragi is more of a Northern drink.In the South
>yall have Mareesa and Kujo muroo-sesame beer-.Smoother drinks
>and actually good for you.This Aragi just fucks up your
>liver.
>Us Sudanese men are difficult to deal with,this I understand.
>I've been meaning to say this,but didn't want to sound
>condenscending or anything,you are the only Southern Sudanese
>living an 'alternative' lifestyle.I mean ever.And I've known
>many all my life.In fact my Southern freinds always joke that
>the 'gay' is an Arab bug.
>My question is;
>If you lived in Sudan,do you feel you'd be the same akon?And
>if you were,how would you express it,being as it is culturally
>taboo?
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http://perspectivesudans.blogspot.com/
i myself would never want to be god,or even like god.Because god got all these human beings on this planet and i most certainly would not want to be responsible for them, or even have the disgrace that i made them.
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