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Subject: "This no kids wedding shit is for the birds" This topic is locked.
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MEAT
Member since Feb 08th 2008
20967 posts
Mon Feb-10-20 10:44 AM

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"This no kids wedding shit is for the birds"
Mon Feb-10-20 10:46 AM by MEAT

  

          

Second friend getting married that wants to have a no kids policy
I’ll go along with it because it’s local, but this is the last one
Like folks are really out here treating kids like pets. Out entire life is shaped around this kid, particularly at this age.
Shit feels like, come to my wedding but don’t bring your spouse.

*the bride to be is pregnant any damn ways.

------
“There is no fate that cannot be surmounted by scorn.” -Albert Camus

  

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Topic Outline
Subject Author Message Date ID
It’s her day... and what does being pregnant have to do with it? Lmao
Feb 10th 2020
1
It’s only your day if you roll solo
Feb 10th 2020
4
      You make some concessions. Others you don't. It's YOUR choice.
Feb 10th 2020
9
      Pets are pets, kids are kids.
Feb 10th 2020
13
      LOL Replace "pets" with "kids" in my example, then.
Feb 10th 2020
15
           No. You’re using kids as solely am emotional attachment
Feb 10th 2020
21
                Do you take your kid to work with you everyday? End post
Feb 10th 2020
23
                checkmate!
Feb 10th 2020
26
                I check that app all day every day and message back with the teachers
Feb 10th 2020
30
                     So that’s a no
Feb 10th 2020
48
                          I’m ... not. That dude: kids are like pets
Feb 10th 2020
57
                               I just asked if you bring them to work
Feb 10th 2020
82
                                    i don’t bring my kid to work. No.
Feb 10th 2020
130
                I'm not using kids as anything. I have no idea what your relationship .....
Feb 10th 2020
24
      you lost EVERY parent with that Pets analogy fam...
Feb 10th 2020
16
           But then replaced "pets" with "kids" and the same point applies.
Feb 10th 2020
19
      Unfortunately, people just aren't that conscientious anymore....
Feb 10th 2020
14
      RE: Unfortunately, people just aren't that conscientious anymore....
Feb 10th 2020
18
      Maybe someday you'll get invited to a wedding...and you'll understand
Feb 10th 2020
64
           My man if I was never invited to a wedding again it'd be too soon.
Feb 10th 2020
66
                how many of em had kids in attendance?
Feb 10th 2020
75
                     Less than half. Probably less than a quarter actually.
Feb 10th 2020
81
                          Do you have kids?
Feb 10th 2020
84
                               I do not.
Feb 10th 2020
86
                                    *throws up hands*.....lol....sit yo ass down folk....
Feb 10th 2020
89
                                         That was your gotcha moment ? C'monnnnnn
Feb 10th 2020
93
                                              I wasn't trying to assume. Like...Legs got kids...so I at least could ta...
Feb 10th 2020
96
                                                   You don't have to have kids to understand what is and isn't your place.
Feb 10th 2020
99
                                                        I think you're missing a part of the dialogue.
Feb 10th 2020
103
                                                             He isn’t missing anything. Either go or stay home
Feb 10th 2020
108
      Rude people are rude with or without kids.
Feb 10th 2020
27
      seems like a way to get a smaller audience at the wedding.
Feb 10th 2020
39
           Now that's how you react like an adult !
Feb 10th 2020
40
           why are you so upset about this? lol
Feb 10th 2020
46
                Self-important people annoy me.
Feb 10th 2020
52
           it's NOT a bad idea at all....but some people's situations are different
Feb 10th 2020
67
                Or to use up that resource on your wedding.
Feb 10th 2020
71
                     yeah THAT part...if WE stumbled upon some good babysitter...we DAMN
Feb 10th 2020
78
                     You prob just shouldnt go to weddings then
Feb 10th 2020
83
                     Oh I'm good on weddings at this point in my life...there's only ONE more...
Feb 10th 2020
88
                          maybe that's the diff.
Feb 10th 2020
112
                               They will be fine with or without me, I’m not moving anyone’s needle
Feb 10th 2020
139
                                    bro. they're asking you to not come.
Feb 11th 2020
187
                                    that's fine that you think is whack, but
Feb 11th 2020
195
                                    LOLOLOL @ inappropriate.
Feb 11th 2020
202
                     It’s never a waste to use a good baby sitter
Feb 10th 2020
90
                     that goes back to don't go.
Feb 10th 2020
117
      Lmao.. nah, all that shit is stuff YOU wanted to do for family
Feb 10th 2020
22
           100%
Feb 10th 2020
25
It's their wedding man.
Feb 10th 2020
2
kids make receptions way better, imo
Feb 10th 2020
3
^^^Stands in THIS line^^^^
Feb 10th 2020
17
See reply three
Feb 10th 2020
5
      Right. So you're assuming every parent is good.
Feb 10th 2020
7
           Kids act how they’re allowed to act
Feb 10th 2020
11
Precisely why there's an option to decline...
Feb 10th 2020
6
Right !
Feb 10th 2020
10
In both of these situations the folks have reached out to invite
Feb 10th 2020
12
      I agree that it's inappropriate not to make that request right away.
Feb 10th 2020
20
      So this isn’t really about the no kids thing, this is more about
Feb 10th 2020
34
      well yeah, that's understandable.
Feb 10th 2020
37
      then this is the only thing they've done that's out of pocket
Feb 10th 2020
73
      so you're upset about a "save the date" notification?..
Feb 10th 2020
128
You want it to be one way (c) Marlo Stanfield
Feb 10th 2020
8
Man, just enjoy a few hours with your wife and friends
Feb 10th 2020
28
Also, people's kids take invites from other people.
Feb 10th 2020
32
      ^THIS^
Feb 10th 2020
38
I mean you can either complain or not go, pick one.
Feb 10th 2020
29
#12
Feb 10th 2020
31
      Then the post should've been a bitch fest about late changes.
Feb 10th 2020
33
      Just saw that but that’s on MEAT for not putting in original post.
Feb 10th 2020
35
      My original point still stands
Feb 10th 2020
43
           That sounds like a you problem
Feb 10th 2020
55
                Whack shit is whack shit no matter how it affects me
Feb 10th 2020
132
                     nope. if it's your wedding, you make the rules
Feb 10th 2020
163
*then don't go*
Feb 10th 2020
36
I don't think people want to pay an adult head for a kid to pick over fo...
Feb 10th 2020
41
I hadn’t even thought of having to feed kids lol
Feb 10th 2020
42
People no show all the time
Feb 10th 2020
50
Sounds like that's probably what you should do.
Feb 10th 2020
53
^^^THIS. Especially if there's an open bar.
Feb 10th 2020
98
      $75 isn’t breaking nobodies bank in this situation
Feb 10th 2020
134
           This was 14 years ago. And that $75 added up quickly.
Feb 10th 2020
173
                Not every person with a kid wants to bring their kid
Feb 10th 2020
177
                     if white folks are the only people you know spending that kind of money
Feb 11th 2020
188
I think some are missing a few points
Feb 10th 2020
44
#2 I got a 2 year old.
Feb 10th 2020
51
The point is, that's all a "you" problem.
Feb 10th 2020
60
hang on now...
Feb 10th 2020
169
Nobody is missing anything. None of that is relevant.
Feb 10th 2020
135
      nah I think you misread my tone
Feb 10th 2020
171
Defeats purpose of weddings
Feb 10th 2020
45
fuck that. I LOVE no kid weddings.
Feb 10th 2020
47
LOVE.
Feb 10th 2020
65
I love choice.
Feb 10th 2020
74
      you HAVE choice
Feb 10th 2020
79
      But what if other guests hate kids ?! The disrespect !
Feb 10th 2020
80
           Lmao.. but what about meeee????
Feb 10th 2020
87
           What if other guests hate black people
Feb 10th 2020
141
                ... thank you for making my point.
Feb 10th 2020
146
                     Your point is what? Ranking guest preferences against each other?
Feb 10th 2020
149
                          No my point is that by using your logic of "respecting your guests"
Feb 10th 2020
151
                               You’re doing a lot in here.
Feb 10th 2020
153
                                    About the same as you.
Feb 10th 2020
156
                                         "doing a lot" translates to "my entitled opinion doesn't hold up to scru...
Feb 10th 2020
182
sounds like some wps
Feb 10th 2020
49
lmao.. white girl tried to make us feel guilty about leaving our kids...
Feb 10th 2020
54
i had no idea no-kids weddings were even a thing
Feb 10th 2020
56
No such thing with Mexicans. Kids run their world.
Feb 10th 2020
58
      who the hell is the ring bearer at a no kids wedding?
Feb 10th 2020
62
      The one kid important enough to get a pass
Feb 10th 2020
68
      exceptions now ? lol
Feb 10th 2020
69
      right! the whole concept is just stoooopid....
Feb 10th 2020
70
      Not even close to being stupid.
Feb 10th 2020
76
      There will be kids at the wedding... just not YOUR KIDS
Feb 10th 2020
72
           that seems even more fucked up lol
Feb 10th 2020
77
                Kids in the show/wedding but not in the audience
Feb 10th 2020
85
      lol mexicans and super christian wypipo
Feb 10th 2020
91
      This dude and his bride to be are Mexican
Feb 10th 2020
133
           fuck it, just bring your kid.
Feb 10th 2020
143
                lol
Feb 10th 2020
147
                All "you problems".
Feb 10th 2020
148
                     Have you ever planned a wedding or event?
Feb 10th 2020
152
                          LOL - it seems to be awfully difficult for you to grasp that ...
Feb 10th 2020
154
                          I’m entitled because I called something whack?
Feb 10th 2020
157
                               Your entitled is entitled
Feb 10th 2020
161
                                    That’s a reach.
Feb 10th 2020
162
                          there are ALLLLL sorts of things you can't bring kids to homie
Feb 10th 2020
155
                          Lmao.. I hope this post was just to get thru monday
Feb 10th 2020
160
                lmao.. I wouldn’t even eat the food. Can’t trust them brand new type...
Feb 10th 2020
159
This is self centered than a mug lol
Feb 10th 2020
59
Correct.
Feb 10th 2020
63
Per Phonte twitter: "Fuck them kids"
Feb 10th 2020
61
I haven't taken my son to any weddings at all
Feb 10th 2020
92
A VERY important point
Feb 10th 2020
94
If it was out of town we probably wouldn’t want to take her no way
Feb 10th 2020
142
      the parenting choice is grandma or cousin or don’t go
Feb 10th 2020
186
      Yeah, having a choice is dope. *If* I wanted to bring the kid...
Feb 11th 2020
196
There are several categories of people in this post...
Feb 10th 2020
95
nah, but there are 2 kinds of parents
Feb 10th 2020
124
Is there a formal term for a guest version of a Bridezilla?
Feb 10th 2020
97
Ha nice.
Feb 10th 2020
100
guestzilla?
Feb 10th 2020
101
trippin
Feb 10th 2020
102
MEATzilla
Feb 10th 2020
106
I’ve ... asked for nothing.
Feb 10th 2020
145
Not sure how y'all don't see the slight in this...
Feb 10th 2020
104
Damn y'all really need to get over yourselves.
Feb 10th 2020
105
Damn y'all really need to learn some etiquette.
Feb 10th 2020
109
Oh the irony.
Feb 10th 2020
110
People that hate kids are shitty anyway. Don’t invite THEM.
Feb 10th 2020
111
      LOL
Feb 10th 2020
113
      people that hate kids don't actually hate kids
Feb 10th 2020
115
           i've never been to a wedding where a child stole the show
Feb 10th 2020
118
           Me neither... but since I’m going there to drink and eat their shit up
Feb 10th 2020
121
           this:
Feb 11th 2020
235
You really need to not be so entitled.
Feb 10th 2020
137
Like, for real
Feb 11th 2020
197
it just seems like putting the ceremony too high on a pedestal
Feb 10th 2020
114
Umm.. it’s a wedding. It’s literally the most high ceremony
Feb 10th 2020
123
Or the onus could be on the guest to leave them kids at home
Feb 10th 2020
116
So basically, y’all just care about getting that registry fulfilled.
Feb 10th 2020
125
      they just inviting you because your wife is friends with the bride
Feb 10th 2020
129
Man.. fuck all that shit b
Feb 10th 2020
120
Pretty damn much.
Feb 10th 2020
126
      He ain’t trolling...lol
Feb 10th 2020
172
           ^^^knows my steez too well lol^^^^
Feb 11th 2020
190
                Yeah, you stay wrong... lol
Feb 11th 2020
205
nah foh.
Feb 10th 2020
122
my gran' pappy eloped, my parents eloped, I eloped...
Feb 10th 2020
140
you're either a friend or cousin to the person getting married
Feb 10th 2020
107
I'm saying....
Feb 10th 2020
127
Doesn’t make the request not whack
Feb 10th 2020
138
don't go is the easy answer.. saves you lots of $$ too.
Feb 10th 2020
119
You're really out here thinking a wedding is about you and your kid
Feb 10th 2020
131
I'm playing devils advocate, but i honestly didn't know it was a thing
Feb 10th 2020
136
i don’t think anyone in my actual family would do that
Feb 10th 2020
158
pretty much. I have no real beef with it.
Feb 10th 2020
165
Maybe its cause i'm from the South? idk
Feb 10th 2020
168
shit don't feel "foreign", shit is whack. Don't normalize whack shit fam...
Feb 10th 2020
166
fuck weddings, get money
Feb 10th 2020
144
don't go and save your coins...
Feb 10th 2020
150
my wife and I went to like 20 weddings in two years
Feb 10th 2020
164
man, when someone apologizes for why they couldn't invite
Feb 10th 2020
167
just send me the registry link and we are gooooood
Feb 10th 2020
174
LOL this is probably the smartest reply in here
Feb 10th 2020
170
you know how it is. you know *too many people* who are getting married
Feb 10th 2020
175
I 100% agree.
Feb 10th 2020
176
Plus, didn't you high five your then-fiance when people RSVP no?
Feb 10th 2020
178
      definitely would have, but we did a small wedding
Feb 10th 2020
179
      but yeah, it's a favor that goes both ways
Feb 10th 2020
180
I'm having a "no kids" funeral.
Feb 10th 2020
181
That's A+ pettiness right there.
Feb 10th 2020
183
me too!
Feb 10th 2020
185
is this a white thing??? i have never heard of such a thing before
Feb 10th 2020
184
it really depends on who you kick it with
Feb 11th 2020
189
Breweries are great for parents with kids.
Feb 11th 2020
193
      Nah, keep your kids out of adult places
Feb 11th 2020
198
      Lmao... go to any brewery on a weekend and it’s like a playground
Feb 11th 2020
199
      Only if they have kid specific areas
Feb 11th 2020
200
      It’s pretty hard to get shit faced drunk at a brewery
Feb 11th 2020
201
      it was a place where peopledo bring kids
Feb 11th 2020
240
Nah, I do think it's some millennial shit though...they the only ones
Feb 11th 2020
191
Nah. It’s boughetto shit
Feb 11th 2020
194
LMAO... you sound goofy as hell.
Feb 11th 2020
203
      Ehhh, wasn’t a thing people requests 20 years ago
Feb 11th 2020
204
           Compare the cost of the average wedding now to 20 years ago
Feb 11th 2020
206
           I don’t think this has to do with money
Feb 11th 2020
211
           None of this is new...
Feb 11th 2020
207
                Can y’all clarify the entitlement angle, because I’m not seeing it
Feb 11th 2020
210
                You said something like “they took away my choice to parent”
Feb 11th 2020
213
                They aren’t allowing a parent decision
Feb 11th 2020
215
                     that's the entitlement.
Feb 11th 2020
218
                     That’s not an entitlement that’s a want
Feb 11th 2020
225
                     They aren’t allowing you to bring the kid.
Feb 11th 2020
222
                you think they need to cater to you and your desires....for their weddin...
Feb 11th 2020
228
                I ... don’t though.
Feb 11th 2020
246
                     if you're not the person getting married or paying for it your opinion.....
Feb 11th 2020
251
                     This is the most loserish shit I’ve ever heard.
Feb 11th 2020
258
                     you literally do, based on everything you've actually said.
Feb 11th 2020
259
                          If I don’t express this to the couple what’s the problem?
Feb 11th 2020
263
                               Your opinion comes from YOU. it's an expression of YOU. it's YOU.
Feb 11th 2020
266
                                    Man I posted on a message board.
Feb 11th 2020
267
                                         ......and cue the ad hominem, lmao.
Feb 11th 2020
268
                                              It's not that serious to address, points, there's no points
Feb 11th 2020
269
                                                   it was serious enough for you to make personal attacks
Feb 11th 2020
271
                                                        Would it help if I said sorry? You do a lot in every post
Feb 11th 2020
274
                                                             You express opinions, but don't actually own them.
Feb 11th 2020
276
                                                                  Dude. Ok.
Feb 11th 2020
277
                You don't get to decide who attends someone else's wedding...
Feb 11th 2020
238
                     He's also said more than once that couples should "respect their guests"
Feb 11th 2020
249
                     Couples should respect their guests
Feb 11th 2020
260
                          Entitled af.
Feb 11th 2020
278
                     You don’t at all. And if you think you can that’s trash.
Feb 11th 2020
265
                          you want it to be one way © Marlo...
Feb 11th 2020
270
                               I disagree. My preference would’ve been that the ask was never made
Feb 11th 2020
272
                New to me.. I ain’t ever heard of no kid weddings back then
Feb 11th 2020
212
its an economic thing unless your grandma & aunties are doing a potluck....
Feb 11th 2020
219
Kids are gross
Feb 11th 2020
192
kids....ALL up in the videos..
Feb 11th 2020
208
Underrated response
Feb 11th 2020
275
We didn't have a no kids wedding Per se but everyone wasn't allowed to
Feb 11th 2020
209
basically...
Feb 11th 2020
214
We didn't allow children at ours. It was an intimate affair and I didn'...
Feb 11th 2020
I've given this more thought and concluded that the REAL issue is:
Feb 11th 2020
216
NOBODY WANTS TO GO TO YOUR WEDDING
Feb 11th 2020
217
lies...
Feb 11th 2020
220
Wife and I went to a wedding in LA. We had a blast
Feb 11th 2020
226
exactly!
Feb 11th 2020
230
Co-sign...
Feb 11th 2020
229
When I was in my wedding prime they were big fun.
Feb 11th 2020
223
I think you need to get your T levels checked. You been slippin’ latel...
Feb 11th 2020
224
Our wedding was dope. We had a great turn out and a packed dance floor
Feb 11th 2020
234
I've seen people have "open" weddings as far as the ceremony but...
Feb 11th 2020
221
Hmm.. I’ve seen the opposite
Feb 11th 2020
227
      that's because people skip the church/ceremony because it's boring af
Feb 11th 2020
231
      basically. The reception is the real party
Feb 11th 2020
236
      yeah. depends on the ceremony though. we made ours short and sweet.
Feb 11th 2020
245
           If your ceremony includes a religious ceremony or mass...
Feb 11th 2020
254
                if/when I remarry, there will be no religious element at all
Feb 11th 2020
261
      I have too, I've literally seen everything, at the end of the day...
Feb 11th 2020
232
      Man, we went to a wedding a couple months ago...
Feb 11th 2020
233
           who was paying / who made the decisions
Feb 11th 2020
241
                Bride's family
Feb 11th 2020
248
                     it's always about the money
Feb 11th 2020
255
                          and I don't mean just what's spent
Feb 11th 2020
264
a lot of conflation of "wedding" and "reception"
Feb 11th 2020
237
Real question...
Feb 11th 2020
239
      I think my friend's was like that
Feb 11th 2020
242
      I've seen both
Feb 11th 2020
243
      We did that *shrugs*
Feb 11th 2020
247
      LOL! I've never seen it...
Feb 11th 2020
250
      HOW DISRESPECTFUL OF YOU !
Feb 11th 2020
252
      My favorite turn of events in this thread
Feb 11th 2020
253
      wait WHAT!!!? lmao... yo... you're a mess, lmao
Feb 11th 2020
262
      dude lol
Feb 11th 2020
273
      Ladies and Gents.. FluidJ
Feb 11th 2020
280
      The ceremony is for people that love you on a certain level
Feb 11th 2020
257
      Mine was like that. Because the wedding was at my parents’
Feb 12th 2020
282
Best policy I've seen is to hire a babysitter.
Feb 11th 2020
244
what was the ticket on that wedding, ballpark
Feb 11th 2020
256
This is quite common. Last two weddings I went to (Both Black) were
Feb 11th 2020
279
Ain’t seen you in a minute
Feb 11th 2020
281
I feel like MEAT was trolling all of us in this post lol
Feb 12th 2020
283
I’m not. I have strong opinions on how I’d like to be treated
Feb 12th 2020
284
      RE: I’m not. I have strong opinions on how I’d like to be treated
Feb 12th 2020
285
      RE: I’m not. I have strong opinions on how I’d like to be treated
Feb 12th 2020
287
      Dogg. lol. Come the fuck on.
Feb 12th 2020
286
      Aint you white?
Feb 12th 2020
288
           When all else fails, change the subject !
Feb 12th 2020
289
                You can’t downplay how your whiteness shapes your responses
Feb 12th 2020
290
                     Damn this is really, really desperate.
Feb 12th 2020
291
                     Sooooooo ... black people were left out because it was y’all’s day
Feb 12th 2020
293
                          Keep going man. You've already made enough of a fool out of yourself.
Feb 12th 2020
294
                               Am I cooning, or samboing, or step and fetching?
Feb 12th 2020
297
                     archive.
Feb 12th 2020
295
                     Damn
Feb 12th 2020
296
                          is the bride MEATS ex? Why is he so invested and mad about this?
Feb 12th 2020
298
                               I’ll be an asshole but I’m not joking about that mans wife ok?
Feb 12th 2020
299
                               lmao
Feb 12th 2020
300
      You have strong opinions on how they should organize their wedding.
Feb 12th 2020
292
Speak now or forever hold your peace...
Feb 12th 2020
301

legsdiamond
Member since May 05th 2011
69843 posts
Mon Feb-10-20 10:52 AM

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1. "It’s her day... and what does being pregnant have to do with it? Lmao"
In response to Reply # 0


          

Once she drops that kid she is going to have to respect other people’s no kid policy.

but it ain’t like she is telling pregnant women to stay home. That would be hilarious tho

****************
TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*

  

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MEAT
Member since Feb 08th 2008
20967 posts
Mon Feb-10-20 11:01 AM

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4. "It’s only your day if you roll solo"
In response to Reply # 1


  

          

The second you start inviting people to activities it becomes a group day. It’s fashionable to say x,y,z event is all about them
But realistically it’s not. People don’t leave their personhood behind to celebrate your activities.
It’s why when I had my wedding I had it in the middle of the city, so that half the people wouldn’t have to rent cars just to get around for a one off event.
It’s why you have vegan and vegetarian options
It’s why you make considerations for how long people will be standing
Or dress codes for weather
Or accessibility options for your others friends
Or you’re careful around recovered alcoholics not putting drinks right on the table


You already make a hundred mini concessions to your friends and family.

------
“There is no fate that cannot be surmounted by scorn.” -Albert Camus

  

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Brew
Member since Nov 23rd 2002
21123 posts
Mon Feb-10-20 11:23 AM

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9. "You make some concessions. Others you don't. It's YOUR choice."
In response to Reply # 4


          

Because it's YOUR wedding. So the concessions you make and don't make are your choice. You're spending THOUSANDS of dollars on this. You try your best to accommodate everyone. But at some point you need to think of yourself as well and how you want the day to go.

It's like inviting people over and saying "no pets, please" and someone like you being all curmudgeon-y about it. Who do you think you are.

----------------------------------------

"Fuck aliens." © WarriorPoet415

  

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MEAT
Member since Feb 08th 2008
20967 posts
Mon Feb-10-20 11:34 AM

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13. "Pets are pets, kids are kids. "
In response to Reply # 9


  

          

------
“There is no fate that cannot be surmounted by scorn.” -Albert Camus

  

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Brew
Member since Nov 23rd 2002
21123 posts
Mon Feb-10-20 11:39 AM

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15. "LOL Replace "pets" with "kids" in my example, then."
In response to Reply # 13


          

And like someone else pointed out, it's not your choice to decide whether or not you can bring your kids into someone else's home or wedding. But you can certainly decline the invite !

----------------------------------------

"Fuck aliens." © WarriorPoet415

  

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MEAT
Member since Feb 08th 2008
20967 posts
Mon Feb-10-20 11:47 AM

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21. "No. You’re using kids as solely am emotional attachment "
In response to Reply # 15


  

          

My kid is my life responsibility. Not a moment of a day goes by that I don’t have to be accountable for her or myself with relation to her.

------
“There is no fate that cannot be surmounted by scorn.” -Albert Camus

  

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legsdiamond
Member since May 05th 2011
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Mon Feb-10-20 11:48 AM

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23. "Do you take your kid to work with you everyday? End post"
In response to Reply # 21


          

****************
TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*

  

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lsymone
Member since Nov 03rd 2007
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Mon Feb-10-20 11:55 AM

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26. "checkmate!"
In response to Reply # 23


          

take a message

  

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MEAT
Member since Feb 08th 2008
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Mon Feb-10-20 12:02 PM

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30. "I check that app all day every day and message back with the teachers"
In response to Reply # 23


  

          

I scan the web page too to make sure she’s not on there
Meet with the teachers every other month
Just because she’s not in my person doesn’t mean she’s not in my immediate responsibility.

------
“There is no fate that cannot be surmounted by scorn.” -Albert Camus

  

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legsdiamond
Member since May 05th 2011
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Mon Feb-10-20 12:52 PM

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48. "So that’s a no"
In response to Reply # 30


          

and why are you implying that not taking your kids to a wedding means you don’t care about their welfare?

I get it, there are times when I used to feel guilty about leaving them to have a fun night out. I got over that shit.

You will too.

****************
TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*

  

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MEAT
Member since Feb 08th 2008
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Mon Feb-10-20 01:00 PM

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57. "I’m ... not. That dude: kids are like pets "
In response to Reply # 48


  

          

Me: you’re talking attachment, I’m talking logistics.

You: some shit out of left field.

------
“There is no fate that cannot be surmounted by scorn.” -Albert Camus

  

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legsdiamond
Member since May 05th 2011
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Mon Feb-10-20 01:24 PM

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82. "I just asked if you bring them to work"
In response to Reply # 57


          

and you are talking about an app and how you love them dearly.

that wasn’t my question.





****************
TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*

  

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MEAT
Member since Feb 08th 2008
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Mon Feb-10-20 03:29 PM

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130. "i don’t bring my kid to work. No. "
In response to Reply # 82


  

          

------
“There is no fate that cannot be surmounted by scorn.” -Albert Camus

  

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Brew
Member since Nov 23rd 2002
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24. "I'm not using kids as anything. I have no idea what your relationship ....."
In response to Reply # 21


          

... with your kid is. But re: what you typed below, that's great that you're such an attentive and good parent.

If you are uncomfortable leaving your child for the day/nite/weekend to go to this wedding, you decline. It's not your day, you're not paying for it. It's as simple as that. Your particular relationship with your particular child is not the bride/groom's problem. It's yours. So deal with your problem accordingly.


>My kid is my life responsibility. Not a moment of a day goes
>by that I don’t have to be accountable for her or myself
>with relation to her.

----------------------------------------

"Fuck aliens." © WarriorPoet415

  

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FLUIDJ
Member since Sep 18th 2002
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Mon Feb-10-20 11:40 AM

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16. "you lost EVERY parent with that Pets analogy fam..."
In response to Reply # 9


  

          


"Get ready....for your blessing....."
"Bury me by my Grand-Grand and when you can come follow me"

  

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Brew
Member since Nov 23rd 2002
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19. "But then replaced "pets" with "kids" and the same point applies."
In response to Reply # 16


          

If you don't like it, decline the invite. It's as simple as that. You want a kids party, invite people to YOUR place and have them bring all the kids.

----------------------------------------

"Fuck aliens." © WarriorPoet415

  

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FLUIDJ
Member since Sep 18th 2002
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Mon Feb-10-20 11:39 AM

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14. "Unfortunately, people just aren't that conscientious anymore...."
In response to Reply # 4


  

          

Feel you on all of the above...
And we went out of our way to accommodate everyone that we'd invited to our wedding....
In retrospect though....I kinda wish we'd just been selfish with it and done something completely different and saved some loot, time, energy and drama.

Cousin had a wedding last year...and I'm really convinced that these young folks just don't have any sort of understanding about planning & etiquette...
SHe did the "No Kids" thing...despite 95% of her cousins having young kids...
She had it set for OUTSIDE in North Carolina in JULY!...TF?!!??
AND she put on the invite...BLACK TIE ONLY! WTF???
We scoffed so much at that invite when it came in the mail....


























We went doe...
She ended up having it indoors at the last minute...
And fck a Black Tie.....I rolled up in a linen suit like WHHHHuuuuut...

  

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Brew
Member since Nov 23rd 2002
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Mon Feb-10-20 11:43 AM

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18. "RE: Unfortunately, people just aren't that conscientious anymore...."
In response to Reply # 14


          

>Feel you on all of the above...
>And we went out of our way to accommodate everyone that we'd
>invited to our wedding....
>In retrospect though....I kinda wish we'd just been selfish
>with it and done something completely different and saved some
>loot, time, energy and drama.

You definitely should've.


>Cousin had a wedding last year...and I'm really convinced that
>these young folks just don't have any sort of understanding
>about planning & etiquette...

Apparently neither do you or MEAT ? Along with a lack of understanding that it's not your money, and therefore not up to you.


>SHe did the "No Kids" thing...despite 95% of her cousins
>having young kids...

... so what. It's not the cousins' wedding. It's hers.


>She had it set for OUTSIDE in North Carolina in
>JULY!...TF?!!??

THE HORROR !


>AND she put on the invite...BLACK TIE ONLY! WTF???
>We scoffed so much at that invite when it came in the
>mail....

While I also scoff at black tie weddings, it's NOT MY WEDDING so I oblige the requests of the people paying thousands of dollars for the day.


>We went doe...
>She ended up having it indoors at the last minute...
>And fck a Black Tie.....I rolled up in a linen suit like
>WHHHHuuuuut...

Then you're an insufferable asshole.

----------------------------------------

"Fuck aliens." © WarriorPoet415

  

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FLUIDJ
Member since Sep 18th 2002
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64. "Maybe someday you'll get invited to a wedding...and you'll understand"
In response to Reply # 18


  

          

KEEP HOPE ALIVE BREW!


"Get ready....for your blessing....."
"Bury me by my Grand-Grand and when you can come follow me"

  

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Brew
Member since Nov 23rd 2002
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Mon Feb-10-20 01:11 PM

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66. "My man if I was never invited to a wedding again it'd be too soon."
In response to Reply # 64


          

In 2014 my wife and I went to 14 weddings.

And we've been anywhere from 4 to 8 in the years since. Got another 3 this year.

----------------------------------------

"Fuck aliens." © WarriorPoet415

  

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FLUIDJ
Member since Sep 18th 2002
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Mon Feb-10-20 01:21 PM

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75. "how many of em had kids in attendance? "
In response to Reply # 66


  

          


"Get ready....for your blessing....."
"Bury me by my Grand-Grand and when you can come follow me"

  

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Brew
Member since Nov 23rd 2002
21123 posts
Mon Feb-10-20 01:24 PM

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81. "Less than half. Probably less than a quarter actually."
In response to Reply # 75


          

----------------------------------------

"Fuck aliens." © WarriorPoet415

  

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FLUIDJ
Member since Sep 18th 2002
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Mon Feb-10-20 01:26 PM

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84. "Do you have kids?"
In response to Reply # 81


  

          


"Get ready....for your blessing....."
"Bury me by my Grand-Grand and when you can come follow me"

  

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Brew
Member since Nov 23rd 2002
21123 posts
Mon Feb-10-20 01:27 PM

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86. "I do not."
In response to Reply # 84


          

----------------------------------------

"Fuck aliens." © WarriorPoet415

  

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FLUIDJ
Member since Sep 18th 2002
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89. "*throws up hands*.....lol....sit yo ass down folk...."
In response to Reply # 86


  

          


"Get ready....for your blessing....."
"Bury me by my Grand-Grand and when you can come follow me"

  

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Brew
Member since Nov 23rd 2002
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93. "That was your gotcha moment ? C'monnnnnn"
In response to Reply # 89
Mon Feb-10-20 01:31 PM by Brew

          

lol

----------------------------------------

"Fuck aliens." © WarriorPoet415

  

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FLUIDJ
Member since Sep 18th 2002
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Mon Feb-10-20 01:34 PM

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96. "I wasn't trying to assume. Like...Legs got kids...so I at least could ta..."
In response to Reply # 93
Mon Feb-10-20 01:34 PM by FLUIDJ

  

          

his stance as reasonably thought out.....



"Get ready....for your blessing....."
"Bury me by my Grand-Grand and when you can come follow me"

  

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Brew
Member since Nov 23rd 2002
21123 posts
Mon Feb-10-20 02:19 PM

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99. "You don't have to have kids to understand what is and isn't your place."
In response to Reply # 96


          

It's not your place to tell a couple they should have kids at their wedding.

Just like it's not anyone else's place to tell you not to have kids at yours.

It's pretty simple. Weird that someone with the perspective of having kids can't grasp some common sense.

----------------------------------------

"Fuck aliens." © WarriorPoet415

  

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FLUIDJ
Member since Sep 18th 2002
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Mon Feb-10-20 02:23 PM

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103. "I think you're missing a part of the dialogue. "
In response to Reply # 99


  

          


"Get ready....for your blessing....."
"Bury me by my Grand-Grand and when you can come follow me"

  

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legsdiamond
Member since May 05th 2011
69843 posts
Mon Feb-10-20 02:38 PM

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108. "He isn’t missing anything. Either go or stay home"
In response to Reply # 103


          

don’t try to make someone else’s wedding about you.

****************
TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*

  

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MEAT
Member since Feb 08th 2008
20967 posts
Mon Feb-10-20 11:57 AM

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27. "Rude people are rude with or without kids. "
In response to Reply # 14
Mon Feb-10-20 11:58 AM by MEAT

  

          

You won’t be able to mitigate that and they’ll (the parents) likely act out worse since they don’t have to parent that night

------
“There is no fate that cannot be surmounted by scorn.” -Albert Camus

  

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tariqhu
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Mon Feb-10-20 12:18 PM

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39. "seems like a way to get a smaller audience at the wedding."
In response to Reply # 14


          

my kids are older now, so they can stay home anyways. but if we got invited to a no kid joint when they were younger, we'd go if we had accommodations. otherwise, see you when I see you. not mad either way.

hell, its not a bad idea to get away from the kids from time to time to have some adult fun.

Y'all buy those labels, I was born supreme

  

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Brew
Member since Nov 23rd 2002
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Mon Feb-10-20 12:20 PM

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40. "Now that's how you react like an adult !"
In response to Reply # 39


          

>RE: seems like a way to get a smaller audience at the wedding.
>my kids are older now, so they can stay home anyways. but if
>we got invited to a no kid joint when they were younger, we'd
>go if we had accommodations. otherwise, see you when I see
>you. not mad either way.
>
>hell, its not a bad idea to get away from the kids from time
>to time to have some adult fun.


^^^^ yup. You'd think this would all be a v simple concept, to everyone. But alas.

----------------------------------------

"Fuck aliens." © WarriorPoet415

  

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Stadiq
Member since Dec 21st 2005
4203 posts
Mon Feb-10-20 12:46 PM

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46. "why are you so upset about this? lol"
In response to Reply # 40


          


She made you have a no kid wedding, didn't she? She demanded black tie only? There were certain friends you weren't allowed to invite? She only let you pick like 2 or 3 songs, huh?

Seems like he struck a nerve.


I don't think I've ever seen you this mad outside of politics haha


In here comparing my kids to pets and shit lol.


Your point is don't like it, don't go.


That works most of the time. But sometimes there is guilt involved, etc.

Plus it is kinda shitty cuz the kids aren't messing with anything. Or very little.

Its just a day.



  

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Brew
Member since Nov 23rd 2002
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52. "Self-important people annoy me."
In response to Reply # 46


          

----------------------------------------

"Fuck aliens." © WarriorPoet415

  

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FLUIDJ
Member since Sep 18th 2002
43601 posts
Mon Feb-10-20 01:12 PM

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67. "it's NOT a bad idea at all....but some people's situations are different"
In response to Reply # 39


  

          

and not everyone has child care at their disposal to take advantage of an adult night out....



"Get ready....for your blessing....."
"Bury me by my Grand-Grand and when you can come follow me"

  

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MEAT
Member since Feb 08th 2008
20967 posts
Mon Feb-10-20 01:19 PM

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71. "Or to use up that resource on your wedding. "
In response to Reply # 67


  

          

------
“There is no fate that cannot be surmounted by scorn.” -Albert Camus

  

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FLUIDJ
Member since Sep 18th 2002
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Mon Feb-10-20 01:22 PM

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78. "yeah THAT part...if WE stumbled upon some good babysitter...we DAMN"
In response to Reply # 71


  

          

sho wouldn't want to waste on a wedding....
I'm just saying...



"Get ready....for your blessing....."
"Bury me by my Grand-Grand and when you can come follow me"

  

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Oak27
Member since Apr 17th 2005
12626 posts
Mon Feb-10-20 01:25 PM

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83. "You prob just shouldnt go to weddings then"
In response to Reply # 78


  

          

if you feel going to a wedding would be a waste of a babysitter.

>sho wouldn't want to waste on a wedding....
>I'm just saying...
>

  

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FLUIDJ
Member since Sep 18th 2002
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Mon Feb-10-20 01:28 PM

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88. "Oh I'm good on weddings at this point in my life...there's only ONE more..."
In response to Reply # 83


  

          

wedding that I'd feel obligated to go to....

Anybody else send me some wedding invite talking about "No Kids"...it's "Aight den..."



"Get ready....for your blessing....."
"Bury me by my Grand-Grand and when you can come follow me"

  

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tariqhu
Charter member
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Mon Feb-10-20 02:44 PM

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112. "maybe that's the diff. "
In response to Reply # 88


          

I haven't felt obligated to attend anyone's wedding except my own. everyone else will be fine with/out me.

Y'all buy those labels, I was born supreme

  

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MEAT
Member since Feb 08th 2008
20967 posts
Mon Feb-10-20 03:56 PM

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139. "They will be fine with or without me, I’m not moving anyone’s needle"
In response to Reply # 112


  

          

What I’m saying is that kids, particularly at the ages of 3-4 and below are SUCH an extension of a person that asking a couple to come but to leave them behind is inappropriate.
The ask is.
And the reason I’m stating is that it doesn’t appreciate what the ask is.
Like the last wedding, I got, it was at a women’s club with a no kids policy and it wasn’t the crowd I’d bring my kid to. Lots of drugs, some nudity, I get ... but I would’ve liked rather than not having kids allowed, saying this environment is kid inappropriate and the venue has a policy.

For this situation, it’s neither, it’s a preference. And I’m saying it’s a whack preference. I think choreographed dances and up lighting is whack too.
But I’m saying it’s whack specifically for how it treats what a kid is, and what guests are.

------
“There is no fate that cannot be surmounted by scorn.” -Albert Camus

  

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Rjcc
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93463 posts
Tue Feb-11-20 01:40 AM

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187. "bro. they're asking you to not come."
In response to Reply # 139


          

they're not saying they don't want you there.

but they're not planning an event for your whole crew

www.engadgethd.com - the other stuff i'm looking at

  

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tariqhu
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Tue Feb-11-20 08:17 AM

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195. "that's fine that you think is whack, but"
In response to Reply # 139


          

others don't. I don't. I also think its an easy decision to make about going or not.

they get to make those decisions. I wouldn't feel slighted or unaccommodated by them setting up their wedding as they want.

Y'all buy those labels, I was born supreme

  

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soulpsychodelicyde
Member since Nov 18th 2003
12061 posts
Tue Feb-11-20 11:19 AM

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202. "LOLOLOL @ inappropriate."
In response to Reply # 139


          

>What I’m saying is that kids, particularly at the ages of
>3-4 and below are SUCH an extension of a person that asking a
>couple to come but to leave them behind is inappropriate.

That's insane.

  

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legsdiamond
Member since May 05th 2011
69843 posts
Mon Feb-10-20 01:29 PM

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90. "It’s never a waste to use a good baby sitter "
In response to Reply # 78


          

****************
TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*

  

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tariqhu
Charter member
15890 posts
Mon Feb-10-20 02:53 PM

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117. "that goes back to don't go."
In response to Reply # 71


          

Y'all buy those labels, I was born supreme

  

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legsdiamond
Member since May 05th 2011
69843 posts
Mon Feb-10-20 11:47 AM

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22. "Lmao.. nah, all that shit is stuff YOU wanted to do for family"
In response to Reply # 4


          

Vegan menu? Them niggas can eat around the meat.

Alcoholics? Don’t come to the reception. There will be dranks. Not setting a drink at a table doesn’t stop them from getting up and getting one.

My wedding was on a Friday in a small port town on the water during hurricane season. My fam drove from Pittsburgh. Some people didn’t make it. That’s okay... but it was my wife’s day, it was in her childhood town on the water and it was awesome.

Her maid of honor asked if she could bring her best friend who my wife couldn’t stand. My wife said no. Why? It was her day.

If people can’t get over themselves for a few hours and let someone else have their day then just stay home.

****************
TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*

  

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Brew
Member since Nov 23rd 2002
21123 posts
Mon Feb-10-20 11:50 AM

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25. "100%"
In response to Reply # 22


          

>Vegan menu? Them niggas can eat around the meat.
>
>Alcoholics? Don’t come to the reception. There will be
>dranks. Not setting a drink at a table doesn’t stop them
>from getting up and getting one.
>
>My wedding was on a Friday in a small port town on the water
>during hurricane season. My fam drove from Pittsburgh. Some
>people didn’t make it. That’s okay... but it was my
>wife’s day, it was in her childhood town on the water and it
>was awesome.
>
>Her maid of honor asked if she could bring her best friend who
>my wife couldn’t stand. My wife said no. Why? It was her
>day.
>
>If people can’t get over themselves for a few hours and let
>someone else have their day then just stay home.
>
>

----------------------------------------

"Fuck aliens." © WarriorPoet415

  

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Brew
Member since Nov 23rd 2002
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2. "It's their wedding man."
In response to Reply # 0


          

Ain't really your call.

But even ignoring that, I tend to agree with them on the no kids policy. Kids take over weddings, the dance floor, etc. They distract from the party atmosphere IMO. So I've always preferred kidless weddings, just on a personal level. But obviously I understand the hardship it can create for you and others, so I get where you're coming from.

But again - not your wedding, not your place to dictate.

----------------------------------------

"Fuck aliens." © WarriorPoet415

  

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hardware
Member since May 22nd 2007
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Mon Feb-10-20 10:58 AM

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3. "kids make receptions way better, imo"
In response to Reply # 2


          

even before i had kids, the atmosphere was just better if it was open to kids. Way less uptight.

  

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FLUIDJ
Member since Sep 18th 2002
43601 posts
Mon Feb-10-20 11:41 AM

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17. "^^^Stands in THIS line^^^^"
In response to Reply # 3


  

          

Seeing Auntie get low is only entertaining for the first 2 minutes that she does it the first time...after that...shit's depressing ...


"Get ready....for your blessing....."
"Bury me by my Grand-Grand and when you can come follow me"

  

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MEAT
Member since Feb 08th 2008
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Mon Feb-10-20 11:03 AM

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5. "See reply three"
In response to Reply # 2


  

          

And your issues about kids taking over the dance floor is a parenting issue.

------
“There is no fate that cannot be surmounted by scorn.” -Albert Camus

  

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Brew
Member since Nov 23rd 2002
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Mon Feb-10-20 11:22 AM

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7. "Right. So you're assuming every parent is good."
In response to Reply # 5


          

Which isn't true. So instead, you say "I'd rather not have kids at my wedding. Which I'm spending several thousand dollars on (at least)."


>And your issues about kids taking over the dance floor is a
>parenting issue.

----------------------------------------

"Fuck aliens." © WarriorPoet415

  

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MEAT
Member since Feb 08th 2008
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Mon Feb-10-20 11:28 AM

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11. "Kids act how they’re allowed to act"
In response to Reply # 7


  

          

And adults that allow their kids to disrupt an event are adults that would allow themselves to disrupt the same event.

------
“There is no fate that cannot be surmounted by scorn.” -Albert Camus

  

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CyrenYoung
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Mon Feb-10-20 11:15 AM

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6. "Precisely why there's an option to decline..."
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

..why is this an issue?


*skatin' the rings of saturn*


..and miles to go before i sleep...

  

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Brew
Member since Nov 23rd 2002
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10. "Right !"
In response to Reply # 6


          

----------------------------------------

"Fuck aliens." © WarriorPoet415

  

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MEAT
Member since Feb 08th 2008
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Mon Feb-10-20 11:33 AM

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12. "In both of these situations the folks have reached out to invite"
In response to Reply # 6


  

          

And only during confirmation much later have they let me know that it’ll be no kids
It’d be helpful to have to that information to start because that’s two different conversations.
Do we want to go x y z’s wedding is one conversation
How do you feel about going to x y z’s wedding that we committed to but they’re NOW telling us to leave the kid home, is a different one
Because my wife may have some feelings about that and it’s fair to have all of the information presented to her when she’s making decisions.

------
“There is no fate that cannot be surmounted by scorn.” -Albert Camus

  

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Brew
Member since Nov 23rd 2002
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Mon Feb-10-20 11:45 AM

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20. "I agree that it's inappropriate not to make that request right away."
In response to Reply # 12


          

In that specific context I can understand your annoyance and would share in it.


>And only during confirmation much later have they let me know
>that it’ll be no kids
>It’d be helpful to have to that information to start because
>that’s two different conversations.
>Do we want to go x y z’s wedding is one conversation
>How do you feel about going to x y z’s wedding that we
>committed to but they’re NOW telling us to leave the kid
>home, is a different one
>Because my wife may have some feelings about that and it’s
>fair to have all of the information presented to her when
>she’s making decisions.

----------------------------------------

"Fuck aliens." © WarriorPoet415

  

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lightworks
Member since Feb 17th 2006
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Mon Feb-10-20 12:05 PM

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34. "So this isn’t really about the no kids thing, this is more about "
In response to Reply # 12


          

them telling you much later after you confirmed it was a no kids thing.

That’s a different situation than what you presented in the original post and I would argue based on your annoyance in this post that’s really what is driving you being irritated not that it was a “no kids” thing overall.

All that being said still you could just decline after saying “yes” before, it should been seen as totally acceptable by the bride and groom since they didn’t do you the solid of letting you know from the jump.

  

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Rjcc
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37. "well yeah, that's understandable."
In response to Reply # 12


          

unfortunately, a lot of people haven't finalized their plans when they're first reaching out, they're just trying to figure out how many people they need to get ready for and....that means they haven't figured kids in yet

www.engadgethd.com - the other stuff i'm looking at

  

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fontgangsta
Member since Sep 04th 2005
5342 posts
Mon Feb-10-20 01:20 PM

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73. "then this is the only thing they've done that's out of pocket"
In response to Reply # 12


  

          

>And only during confirmation much later have they let me know
>that it’ll be no kids

that shit should be on the invite
but the choice of making it a no-kids event is 100% up to them and not something that you should feel any type of way about.
sometimes you have to be 'this tall' to ride the ride.

  

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CyrenYoung
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Mon Feb-10-20 03:21 PM

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128. "so you're upset about a "save the date" notification?.."
In response to Reply # 12


  

          

..Forgive me if I'm missing something, but the standard protocol is:

• Save the Date
• Invitations
• RSVP

Correct me if I'm wrong, but aren't they still within the correct timeframe to notify their guests?


*skatin' the rings of saturn*


..and miles to go before i sleep...

  

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Teknontheou
Charter member
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8. "You want it to be one way (c) Marlo Stanfield"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

  

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legsdiamond
Member since May 05th 2011
69843 posts
Mon Feb-10-20 11:58 AM

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28. "Man, just enjoy a few hours with your wife and friends"
In response to Reply # 0


          

Y’all prolly need a break too

****************
TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*

  

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Brew
Member since Nov 23rd 2002
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Mon Feb-10-20 12:02 PM

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32. "Also, people's kids take invites from other people."
In response to Reply # 28
Mon Feb-10-20 12:17 PM by Brew

          

So if the choice is between my out-of-town college buddy's 4 year old who I've met once, or a local fringe friend I am still relatively close with and see semi-regularly, guess who's getting the invite.

----------------------------------------

"Fuck aliens." © WarriorPoet415

  

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KnowOne
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38. "^THIS^"
In response to Reply # 32


  

          

nm

_________________________________________
"Too weird to live.... too rare to die..."

PS+ ID: KnowOne215 | XBL GamerTag: KnowOne 215

  

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lightworks
Member since Feb 17th 2006
5818 posts
Mon Feb-10-20 12:00 PM

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29. "I mean you can either complain or not go, pick one. "
In response to Reply # 0
Mon Feb-10-20 12:01 PM by lightworks

          

Because doing both just comes across as silly to me, and a waste of time.

I understand feeling some type of way because you’re taking it personal because you have a kid but why not chose to look at it as they want a fun adult time and don’t want screaming and crying children running around the place?

It is their day so I don’t think it is asking for too much to have it exactly as they want it.

  

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hardware
Member since May 22nd 2007
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31. "#12"
In response to Reply # 29


          

  

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Brew
Member since Nov 23rd 2002
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Mon Feb-10-20 12:04 PM

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33. "Then the post should've been a bitch fest about late changes."
In response to Reply # 31
Mon Feb-10-20 12:05 PM by Brew

          

Not just generally about not allowing kids at your wedding.

----------------------------------------

"Fuck aliens." © WarriorPoet415

  

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lightworks
Member since Feb 17th 2006
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Mon Feb-10-20 12:08 PM

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35. "Just saw that but that’s on MEAT for not putting in original post."
In response to Reply # 31
Mon Feb-10-20 12:10 PM by lightworks

          

That changes the whole post because then it becomes not an issue about kids but an issue about not letting someone know something ahead of time before you accept an invite.

Those are different issues.

Also as I said up top he still is perfectly within his rights to reject the invite after they said no kids later, he wouldn’t be wrong for saying “sorry, you changed the game and I have to decline”, but since he isn’t doing that and is STILL complaining but also going it is still on him to not waste his time like this.

  

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MEAT
Member since Feb 08th 2008
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Mon Feb-10-20 12:38 PM

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43. "My original point still stands"
In response to Reply # 31


  

          

Kids free weddings are for the birds.

------
“There is no fate that cannot be surmounted by scorn.” -Albert Camus

  

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soulpsychodelicyde
Member since Nov 18th 2003
12061 posts
Mon Feb-10-20 12:58 PM

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55. "That sounds like a you problem"
In response to Reply # 43


          

  

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MEAT
Member since Feb 08th 2008
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Mon Feb-10-20 03:34 PM

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132. "Whack shit is whack shit no matter how it affects me"
In response to Reply # 55


  

          

The last one, I wouldn’t have wanted to take my kid
The one we went to in Chicago, we CHOSE not to take our kid
Folks acting like telling someone don’t bring a kid isn’t wildly invasive is weird
Y’all would feel some kind of way if the wedding throwers specified the colors that you’re supposed to wear as guests, but bring a kid into it and suddenly it’s “don’t go”

------
“There is no fate that cannot be surmounted by scorn.” -Albert Camus

  

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Rjcc
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163. "nope. if it's your wedding, you make the rules"
In response to Reply # 132


          

if you don't like the rules then man, lemme tell you -- THEY DIDN'T WANT YOU THERE

www.engadgethd.com - the other stuff i'm looking at

  

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Rjcc
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36. "*then don't go*"
In response to Reply # 0


          


www.engadgethd.com - the other stuff i'm looking at

  

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Buddy_Gilapagos
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Mon Feb-10-20 12:25 PM

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41. "I don't think people want to pay an adult head for a kid to pick over fo..."
In response to Reply # 0


  

          


**********
"Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson

"what's a leader if he isn't reluctant"

  

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lightworks
Member since Feb 17th 2006
5818 posts
Mon Feb-10-20 12:32 PM

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42. "I hadn’t even thought of having to feed kids lol"
In response to Reply # 41


          

Typical non parent thought lol.

Yeah it makes even more sense now to not invite kids, I get 1 or 2 year olds won’t eat the reception food but any other age yeah you’re paying for the plate.

  

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MEAT
Member since Feb 08th 2008
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Mon Feb-10-20 12:54 PM

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50. "People no show all the time "
In response to Reply # 41


  

          

Like 1-5 people will no show to a wedding.

------
“There is no fate that cannot be surmounted by scorn.” -Albert Camus

  

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Brew
Member since Nov 23rd 2002
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Mon Feb-10-20 12:56 PM

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53. "Sounds like that's probably what you should do."
In response to Reply # 50


          

>Like 1-5 people will no show to a wedding.

----------------------------------------

"Fuck aliens." © WarriorPoet415

  

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soulfunk
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98. "^^^THIS. Especially if there's an open bar."
In response to Reply # 41


  

          

I got married back in 2006 and even back then the per guest cost was at $75 with the open bar included. There wasn't an adult/child option or even a separate "not including open bar because it's a kid" option.

In addition of this, if we'd allowed kids, the guest count would have been way more difficult to predict - because instead of a "plus 1" some guest with kids might end up with parties of 4-5 (or more, I have one cousin who would have brought 6 kids with her.) At $75 per person the reception cost and guest count would have gotten out of control QUICKLY.

  

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MEAT
Member since Feb 08th 2008
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Mon Feb-10-20 03:37 PM

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134. "$75 isn’t breaking nobodies bank in this situation "
In response to Reply # 98


  

          

Not even close.

------
“There is no fate that cannot be surmounted by scorn.” -Albert Camus

  

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soulfunk
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173. "This was 14 years ago. And that $75 added up quickly. "
In response to Reply # 134


  

          

For us it would have meant going from a guest list of 200 to a guest list of 300+. At $75 per plate you’re talking about going from 15k to over 22k, just for food and drinks, for kids who can’t drink and would rather be eating pizza.

Not about breaking the bank, but it’s absolutely a factor in the decision making process.

Fast forward that to now - I’m in a band that plays one or two weddings a week now. These are really high end weddings - it’s an 11 piece band so anyone dropping over 10k just for a live band is spending a TON on their wedding. In 2019 we player around 70 weddings. I can count on one hand the number of those that allowed kids.

  

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MEAT
Member since Feb 08th 2008
20967 posts
Mon Feb-10-20 06:40 PM

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177. "Not every person with a kid wants to bring their kid"
In response to Reply # 173


  

          

My kid over five is not invited by me personally.
That’s really some white people shit to my know when and where to bring their kids.

------
“There is no fate that cannot be surmounted by scorn.” -Albert Camus

  

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Rjcc
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188. "if white folks are the only people you know spending that kind of money"
In response to Reply # 177


          

...maybe



www.engadgethd.com - the other stuff i'm looking at

  

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Stadiq
Member since Dec 21st 2005
4203 posts
Mon Feb-10-20 12:39 PM

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44. "I think some are missing a few points"
In response to Reply # 0


          


#1 Sometimes it isn't exactly easy to find a sitter. ("Then Don't go!")...well yeah, but if its someone you're close with then its pretty shitty. Especially if there is pressure/guilt to go from those getting married. Can't take it personal when folks decline an invite to your highly regulated wedding...

Always funny to get the "Wait, you're not coming!?!?" text. Motherfucker, you said my kids weren't allowed! Fuck Ima do?


#2 I've literally never been to a "kids allowed" wedding that the kids negatively impacted the shit. Folks in here acting like kids turn that shit into Chuck-e-cheese.


#3 I think its kind of entertaining to watch a couple try to make their wedding day some perfectly controlled event. I've also never known such a couple to last *shrugs*


#4 Those adults that, for some reason, strongly require time with "no kids" just have to wait till like 9 when the most of us dirty, filthy breeders go home.


But yeah, I'm always skeptical of the longevity of any couple trying to put on the perfect/ideal/borderline choreographed wedding. The shit aint prom. Yeah put on the wedding you want but at some point grow the fuck up. Its just a day.


  

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double negative
Member since Dec 14th 2007
21882 posts
Mon Feb-10-20 12:55 PM

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51. "#2 I got a 2 year old. "
In response to Reply # 44


  

          


>
>#2 I've literally never been to a "kids allowed" wedding that
>the kids negatively impacted the shit. Folks in here acting
>like kids turn that shit into Chuck-e-cheese.
>
>

I kinda agree with your other points, but to this point, I have a two year old and while he is chill, when I'm with him, there is no sitting and taking in a moment, he's two, he has the attention span of a fly so, you know, snacks & toys and toys & snacks and snacks & toys and toys & snacks, and we're controlling his media diet so it's not like we can just jack him into the matrix and have him content with hours of Daniel Tiger. We sitting and present, he gotta be sitting and present.

I will say though, that hes turning a corner and hes now chilling out even more while also amping up 10x so....the next year will be interesting.

***********************************************************
https://soundcloud.com/swageyph/yph-die-with-me

  

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Brew
Member since Nov 23rd 2002
21123 posts
Mon Feb-10-20 01:06 PM

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60. "The point is, that's all a "you" problem."
In response to Reply # 44


          

>#1 Sometimes it isn't exactly easy to find a sitter. ("Then
>Don't go!")...well yeah, but if its someone you're close with
>then its pretty shitty. Especially if there is pressure/guilt
>to go from those getting married. Can't take it personal when
>folks decline an invite to your highly regulated wedding...

"Highly regulated" ? They chose not to invite people's kids. Who they prolly barely even know. Who they'd be paying for.

Do you consider it "highly regulated" if a friend of yours who may not be as close with the bride/groom isn't invited ? Who the hell are you to judge those decisions ?


>Always funny to get the "Wait, you're not coming!?!?" text.
>Motherfucker, you said my kids weren't allowed! Fuck Ima do?

Have you ever actually gotten that text ? And if so, once you made clear that it's too much of a hardship to attend because of your family situation (something most people would understand and be sympathetic to once described to them) did they continue to judge you ? If so, you have some pretty shitty friends.

Just like it's shitty for you guys to judge your friends for decisions they made for their day which they are paying for.


>#2 I've literally never been to a "kids allowed" wedding that
>the kids negatively impacted the shit. Folks in here acting
>like kids turn that shit into Chuck-e-cheese.

Cool. Still not your choice.


>#3 I think its kind of entertaining to watch a couple try to
>make their wedding day some perfectly controlled event. I've
>also never known such a couple to last *shrugs*

Judgey.


>#4 Those adults that, for some reason, strongly require time
>with "no kids" just have to wait till like 9 when the most of
>us dirty, filthy breeders go home.

Or they just decided that, with limited invites to hand out, they'd rather the invites go to other members of their family or friends, rather than kids they may not have ever even met before.


>But yeah, I'm always skeptical of the longevity of any couple
>trying to put on the perfect/ideal/borderline choreographed
>wedding. The shit aint prom. Yeah put on the wedding you
>want but at some point grow the fuck up. Its just a day.

Judgey.

----------------------------------------

"Fuck aliens." © WarriorPoet415

  

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Stadiq
Member since Dec 21st 2005
4203 posts
Mon Feb-10-20 05:42 PM

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169. "hang on now..."
In response to Reply # 60


          

>>#1 Sometimes it isn't exactly easy to find a sitter.
>("Then
>>Don't go!")...well yeah, but if its someone you're close
>with
>>then its pretty shitty. Especially if there is
>pressure/guilt
>>to go from those getting married. Can't take it personal
>when
>>folks decline an invite to your highly regulated wedding...
>
>"Highly regulated" ? They chose not to invite people's kids.
>Who they prolly barely even know. Who they'd be paying for.


There are levels, man. Yeah if I "barely know" someone I'm not going to care and neither are they.

But if its someone who we are close with, and know my kids, and say no kids allowed, AND get offended that we aren't going??

Or even bummed. Like, you set the rules you had to have thought that ruled some people out.

In your situation the couple getting married completely understands people not going.

I've experienced the opposite. My point is if you say "no kids allowed" don't get aggy when we have to skip.

You really disagree with that?

>
>Do you consider it "highly regulated" if a friend of yours who
>may not be as close with the bride/groom isn't invited ? Who
>the hell are you to judge those decisions ?

WTF?

Why are you taking this so seriously?

It honestly seems like you are projecting something here.

You never judge anyone's decisions?



>
>
>>Always funny to get the "Wait, you're not coming!?!?" text.
>>Motherfucker, you said my kids weren't allowed! Fuck Ima
>do?
>
>Have you ever actually gotten that text ? And if so, once you
>made clear that it's too much of a hardship to attend because
>of your family situation (something most people would
>understand and be sympathetic to once described to them) did
>they continue to judge you ? If so, you have some pretty
>shitty friends.
>
>Just like it's shitty for you guys to judge your friends for
>decisions they made for their day which they are paying for.

WTF man.

Literally everyone is judging in here. You just judged everyone in here with kids, me personally, and now my shitty friends.

Why can you judge and not me?



>
>
>>#2 I've literally never been to a "kids allowed" wedding
>that
>>the kids negatively impacted the shit. Folks in here acting
>>like kids turn that shit into Chuck-e-cheese.
>
>Cool. Still not your choice.

Cool. Never said it was. Just pointing out I think such a rule is silly.


>
>
>>#3 I think its kind of entertaining to watch a couple try to
>>make their wedding day some perfectly controlled event.
>I've
>>also never known such a couple to last *shrugs*
>
>Judgey.

Again, everyone is in here judging- including you.

My last line is a fact though. All three couples I can think of are done or on shaky ground.

Call me judgy all you want. I think its silly when couples try to make their wedding day some perfect event. And you judge me for that, so round and round we go.

>
>
>>#4 Those adults that, for some reason, strongly require time
>>with "no kids" just have to wait till like 9 when the most
>of
>>us dirty, filthy breeders go home.
>
>Or they just decided that, with limited invites to hand out,
>they'd rather the invites go to other members of their family
>or friends, rather than kids they may not have ever even met
>before.
>
Yeah, again- there are levels.

Inviting super casual friends with a single "plus one" or whatever is completely different than banning all kids.

You keep saying "its not your choice Stadiq"

No shit. But it is my choice to not go of course, and also my choice to kill time on Okayplayer sharing my perspective on the situation.



>
>>But yeah, I'm always skeptical of the longevity of any
>couple
>>trying to put on the perfect/ideal/borderline choreographed
>>wedding. The shit aint prom. Yeah put on the wedding you
>>want but at some point grow the fuck up. Its just a day.
>
>Judgey.

LOL and so are you man. You okay?


  

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Cold Truth
Member since Jan 28th 2004
42109 posts
Mon Feb-10-20 03:37 PM

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135. "Nobody is missing anything. None of that is relevant."
In response to Reply # 44


  

          

>
>#1 Sometimes it isn't exactly easy to find a sitter.

That sounds like a personal problem.

("Then
>Don't go!")...well yeah, but if its someone you're close with
>then its pretty shitty.

Kinda sucks, but again- that's your problem.

Especially if there is pressure/guilt
>to go from those getting married. Can't take it personal when
>folks decline an invite to your highly regulated wedding...

These are caveats that do have relevance to a specific situation, but still... if you can't find a sitter, that's your problem, and such is life.

>#2 I've literally never been to a "kids allowed" wedding that
>the kids negatively impacted the shit. Folks in here acting
>like kids turn that shit into Chuck-e-cheese.

This is 100% irrelevant.

>#3 I think its kind of entertaining to watch a couple try to
>make their wedding day some perfectly controlled event. I've
>also never known such a couple to last *shrugs*

Also irrelevant.

>#4 Those adults that, for some reason, strongly require time
>with "no kids" just have to wait till like 9 when the most of
>us dirty, filthy breeders go home.
>
>
>But yeah, I'm always skeptical of the longevity of any couple
>trying to put on the perfect/ideal/borderline choreographed
>wedding. The shit aint prom. Yeah put on the wedding you
>want but at some point grow the fuck up. Its just a day.

All of this sounds like you rationalizing, trying to justify your selfish desire for the married couple to cater to you, and not themselves.

  

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Stadiq
Member since Dec 21st 2005
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Mon Feb-10-20 05:50 PM

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171. "nah I think you misread my tone"
In response to Reply # 135
Mon Feb-10-20 05:51 PM by Stadiq

          

>>
>>#1 Sometimes it isn't exactly easy to find a sitter.
>
>That sounds like a personal problem.
>
> ("Then
>>Don't go!")...well yeah, but if its someone you're close
>with
>>then its pretty shitty.
>
>Kinda sucks, but again- that's your problem.
>
>Especially if there is pressure/guilt
>>to go from those getting married. Can't take it personal
>when
>>folks decline an invite to your highly regulated wedding...
>
>These are caveats that do have relevance to a specific
>situation, but still... if you can't find a sitter, that's
>your problem, and such is life.
>
>>#2 I've literally never been to a "kids allowed" wedding
>that
>>the kids negatively impacted the shit. Folks in here acting
>>like kids turn that shit into Chuck-e-cheese.
>
>This is 100% irrelevant.
>
>>#3 I think its kind of entertaining to watch a couple try to
>>make their wedding day some perfectly controlled event.
>I've
>>also never known such a couple to last *shrugs*
>
>Also irrelevant.
>
>>#4 Those adults that, for some reason, strongly require time
>>with "no kids" just have to wait till like 9 when the most
>of
>>us dirty, filthy breeders go home.
>>
>>
>>But yeah, I'm always skeptical of the longevity of any
>couple
>>trying to put on the perfect/ideal/borderline choreographed
>>wedding. The shit aint prom. Yeah put on the wedding you
>>want but at some point grow the fuck up. Its just a day.
>
>All of this sounds like you rationalizing, trying to justify
>your selfish desire for the married couple to cater to you,
>and not themselves.
>

I don't care that much, just giving a different perspective because I've seen a couple get offended/stressed when several of their friends with kids couldn't go because of their own rules.

So, my main point is that if there are couples out there who want to set rules, then don't act in any way negative when some people can't go.

In other words

"No Kids for our perfect day that we will forget in a year or 2"

= we can't go

which, as you pointed out = only our problem

THEN

we can't go because of your rules = don't be surprised/bummed/whatever when we can't go. Don't make it your problem by feeling a certain way when folks can't show.

Its not that serious.

I'm asking no one to cater to me, I'm just in the corner judging *shrugs*




  

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Musa
Member since Mar 08th 2006
15625 posts
Mon Feb-10-20 12:40 PM

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45. "Defeats purpose of weddings"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

<----

Soundcloud.com/aquil84

(HIP HOP)
http://aquil.bandcamp.com

  

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double negative
Member since Dec 14th 2007
21882 posts
Mon Feb-10-20 12:46 PM

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47. "fuck that. I LOVE no kid weddings. "
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

I have two young ones, a toddler and an infant. me and wife went to a no kid wedding end of last year and from the jump we were about it.

moma hit the sauce and danced, I had my drink and two step and we were able to have a night on the town and were able to hear every single word, see every single moment and have some drinks...and in the end we were able to calmly take off our unstained clothes at the end of the night because the nanny put the kids to sleep way before we got home.

if we were with kids we would have ended the night covered in milk, crumbs, mystery sauce, we would have been bone ass sober and having to spend pretty much zero time in the reception because, overwhelming drunk people and loud music.

maybe when the kids are 3 and 5 or 5 and 7, but right now, I'm going to take these free moments and live my best life with my wife.

***********************************************************
https://soundcloud.com/swageyph/yph-die-with-me

  

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soulpsychodelicyde
Member since Nov 18th 2003
12061 posts
Mon Feb-10-20 01:09 PM

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65. "LOVE. "
In response to Reply # 47


          

  

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MEAT
Member since Feb 08th 2008
20967 posts
Mon Feb-10-20 01:20 PM

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74. "I love choice. "
In response to Reply # 47


  

          

Ain’t nothing wrong with respecting your guests

------
“There is no fate that cannot be surmounted by scorn.” -Albert Camus

  

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fontgangsta
Member since Sep 04th 2005
5342 posts
Mon Feb-10-20 01:23 PM

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79. "you HAVE choice"
In response to Reply # 74


  

          

go or don't go

  

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Brew
Member since Nov 23rd 2002
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80. "But what if other guests hate kids ?! The disrespect !"
In response to Reply # 74


          

>Ain’t nothing wrong with respecting your guests

----------------------------------------

"Fuck aliens." © WarriorPoet415

  

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legsdiamond
Member since May 05th 2011
69843 posts
Mon Feb-10-20 01:27 PM

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87. "Lmao.. but what about meeee???? "
In response to Reply # 80


          

****************
TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*

  

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MEAT
Member since Feb 08th 2008
20967 posts
Mon Feb-10-20 03:58 PM

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141. "What if other guests hate black people"
In response to Reply # 80


  

          

I’m not putting together a wedding. I did that. I’m good. I’m saying this choice is whack and I’m not doing it again.

------
“There is no fate that cannot be surmounted by scorn.” -Albert Camus

  

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Brew
Member since Nov 23rd 2002
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146. "... thank you for making my point."
In response to Reply # 141


          

>RE: What if other guests hate black people
>I’m not putting together a wedding. I did that. I’m good.
>I’m saying this choice is whack and I’m not doing it
>again.
>

----------------------------------------

"Fuck aliens." © WarriorPoet415

  

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MEAT
Member since Feb 08th 2008
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Mon Feb-10-20 04:11 PM

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149. "Your point is what? Ranking guest preferences against each other?"
In response to Reply # 146


  

          

How does that vibe with your other point that “it’s their day”

------
“There is no fate that cannot be surmounted by scorn.” -Albert Camus

  

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Brew
Member since Nov 23rd 2002
21123 posts
Mon Feb-10-20 04:15 PM

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151. "No my point is that by using your logic of "respecting your guests""
In response to Reply # 149


          

You'd have to accommodate those who hate black people, too. Damn, all this respecting every single one of your guests individually shit could get reallll messy.


>How does that vibe with your other point that “it’s their
>day”

----------------------------------------

"Fuck aliens." © WarriorPoet415

  

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MEAT
Member since Feb 08th 2008
20967 posts
Mon Feb-10-20 04:22 PM

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153. "You’re doing a lot in here. "
In response to Reply # 151


  

          

The most.

------
“There is no fate that cannot be surmounted by scorn.” -Albert Camus

  

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Brew
Member since Nov 23rd 2002
21123 posts
Mon Feb-10-20 04:27 PM

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156. "About the same as you."
In response to Reply # 153


          

----------------------------------------

"Fuck aliens." © WarriorPoet415

  

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Cold Truth
Member since Jan 28th 2004
42109 posts
Mon Feb-10-20 07:27 PM

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182. ""doing a lot" translates to "my entitled opinion doesn't hold up to scru..."
In response to Reply # 156


  

          

There's a reason he said you're "doing a lot", and didn't directly address the actual point.

And that reason isn't because you're wrong.

  

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seasoned vet
Member since Jul 29th 2008
5584 posts
Mon Feb-10-20 12:52 PM

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49. "sounds like some wps"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

if it bothered me i just wouldnt go

  

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legsdiamond
Member since May 05th 2011
69843 posts
Mon Feb-10-20 12:57 PM

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54. "lmao.. white girl tried to make us feel guilty about leaving our kids..."
In response to Reply # 49


          

with my sister to go to a wedding in LA?

White girl: You just left them???

Me: Yeah.. but not on the runway. We just left them in baggage claim until we get back.

****************
TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*

  

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Mynoriti
Charter member
36382 posts
Mon Feb-10-20 12:59 PM

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56. "i had no idea no-kids weddings were even a thing"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

i'm around too many mexicans. it doesn't seem even possible.

--------
http://ambitiondeficitdisorder.tumblr.com/

  

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legsdiamond
Member since May 05th 2011
69843 posts
Mon Feb-10-20 01:01 PM

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58. "No such thing with Mexicans. Kids run their world. "
In response to Reply # 56


          

****************
TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*

  

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Mynoriti
Charter member
36382 posts
Mon Feb-10-20 01:07 PM

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62. "who the hell is the ring bearer at a no kids wedding?"
In response to Reply # 58


  

          

--------
http://ambitiondeficitdisorder.tumblr.com/

  

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PimpTrickGangstaClik
Member since Oct 06th 2005
15354 posts
Mon Feb-10-20 01:17 PM

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68. "The one kid important enough to get a pass"
In response to Reply # 62


  

          

Same with flower girl and other kid roles

_______________________________________
You ain't the only one whose got problems. You ain't the only one who knows pain. Get up off your ass and just solve them. You still got a chance to try to change, try the shit again.
Devin tha Dude

  

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Mynoriti
Charter member
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Mon Feb-10-20 01:18 PM

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69. "exceptions now ? lol"
In response to Reply # 68
Mon Feb-10-20 01:19 PM by Mynoriti

  

          

>Same with flower girl and other kid roles

--------
http://ambitiondeficitdisorder.tumblr.com/

  

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FLUIDJ
Member since Sep 18th 2002
43601 posts
Mon Feb-10-20 01:19 PM

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70. "right! the whole concept is just stoooopid...."
In response to Reply # 62


  

          


"Get ready....for your blessing....."
"Bury me by my Grand-Grand and when you can come follow me"

  

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soulpsychodelicyde
Member since Nov 18th 2003
12061 posts
Mon Feb-10-20 01:22 PM

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76. "Not even close to being stupid."
In response to Reply # 70


          

But I get it.. it's one of those topics parents get super sensitive about. *shrug*

  

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legsdiamond
Member since May 05th 2011
69843 posts
Mon Feb-10-20 01:20 PM

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72. "There will be kids at the wedding... just not YOUR KIDS"
In response to Reply # 62


          

****************
TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*

  

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Mynoriti
Charter member
36382 posts
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77. "that seems even more fucked up lol"
In response to Reply # 72


  

          

again this is foreign as hell to me. weddings my whole life have been family events.

--------
http://ambitiondeficitdisorder.tumblr.com/

  

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legsdiamond
Member since May 05th 2011
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Mon Feb-10-20 01:26 PM

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85. "Kids in the show/wedding but not in the audience"
In response to Reply # 77


          

****************
TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*

  

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fontgangsta
Member since Sep 04th 2005
5342 posts
Mon Feb-10-20 01:29 PM

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91. "lol mexicans and super christian wypipo"
In response to Reply # 58


  

          

think birth control is an abomination or some shit IDK

  

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MEAT
Member since Feb 08th 2008
20967 posts
Mon Feb-10-20 03:35 PM

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133. "This dude and his bride to be are Mexican"
In response to Reply # 58


  

          

But carry on

------
“There is no fate that cannot be surmounted by scorn.” -Albert Camus

  

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Mynoriti
Charter member
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143. "fuck it, just bring your kid. "
In response to Reply # 133


  

          

and say you couldn't find a sitter.
they can play with all the other kids that are gonna show up.

--------
http://ambitiondeficitdisorder.tumblr.com/

  

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MEAT
Member since Feb 08th 2008
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147. "lol"
In response to Reply # 143


  

          

I’ll be fine. Everyone we’ll be. It’s the ask that I think is whack.
And I’m not doing it again. Next wedding I get invited to, I’m asking that upfront. In fact I already did just to be sure.
Because planning family shit is tiring and complicated. Like in this situation, if we already had grandma sitting the next weekend, we either now change those plans or try to figure out some other shit.
Folks that are in here on that yap yap, never tried to book the same sitter two weekends in a row or very close together.

------
“There is no fate that cannot be surmounted by scorn.” -Albert Camus

  

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Brew
Member since Nov 23rd 2002
21123 posts
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148. "All "you problems"."
In response to Reply # 147


          

Your kids and sitter situations and regular life frustrations are in no way the concern or responsibility of the couple getting married.


>I’ll be fine. Everyone we’ll be. It’s the ask that I
>think is whack.
>And I’m not doing it again. Next wedding I get invited to,
>I’m asking that upfront. In fact I already did just to be
>sure.
>Because planning family shit is tiring and complicated. Like
>in this situation, if we already had grandma sitting the next
>weekend, we either now change those plans or try to figure out
>some other shit.
>Folks that are in here on that yap yap, never tried to book
>the same sitter two weekends in a row or very close together.
>

----------------------------------------

"Fuck aliens." © WarriorPoet415

  

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MEAT
Member since Feb 08th 2008
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Mon Feb-10-20 04:21 PM

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152. "Have you ever planned a wedding or event?"
In response to Reply # 148


  

          

You take into account what concessions you’re asking of people.
Like that’s a thing.
And some concessions you don’t even ask of people.
It’s ok to try empathy for your guests.

------
“There is no fate that cannot be surmounted by scorn.” -Albert Camus

  

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Brew
Member since Nov 23rd 2002
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154. "LOL - it seems to be awfully difficult for you to grasp that ..."
In response to Reply # 152


          

... not every single individual person can be accommodated for all their weird eccentricities.

Get over yourself. You're entitled as fuck.

----------------------------------------

"Fuck aliens." © WarriorPoet415

  

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MEAT
Member since Feb 08th 2008
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Mon Feb-10-20 04:30 PM

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157. "I’m entitled because I called something whack?"
In response to Reply # 154


  

          

Ok.

------
“There is no fate that cannot be surmounted by scorn.” -Albert Camus

  

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legsdiamond
Member since May 05th 2011
69843 posts
Mon Feb-10-20 04:58 PM

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161. "Your entitled is entitled"
In response to Reply # 157


          

You can’t even fathom that your out of pocket over this

****************
TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*

  

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MEAT
Member since Feb 08th 2008
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Mon Feb-10-20 05:07 PM

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162. "That’s a reach. "
In response to Reply # 161


  

          

I think something is whack and I posted about it
Didn’t ask for a single thing from them folks
If y’all’s definition of entitlement is having an opinion on something then that’s a weird misreading of what entitlement is.

------
“There is no fate that cannot be surmounted by scorn.” -Albert Camus

  

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fontgangsta
Member since Sep 04th 2005
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Mon Feb-10-20 04:26 PM

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155. "there are ALLLLL sorts of things you can't bring kids to homie"
In response to Reply # 152


  

          

this wedding happens to be one
its not a big deal

  

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legsdiamond
Member since May 05th 2011
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Mon Feb-10-20 04:55 PM

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160. "Lmao.. I hope this post was just to get thru monday"
In response to Reply # 152


          

cause you ain’t making no damn sense bruh

and I have a 2 and a 4 year old.

We get a sitter once a month if we are lucky. If we can’t bring kids and find a sitter we just don’t go but we don’t get angry at the people throwing their party.

WE decided to have kids and WE knew this would mean sometimes we can’t do things because our kids are young.

The world doesn’t revolve around you when it’s someone else’s wedding or event.

****************
TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*

  

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legsdiamond
Member since May 05th 2011
69843 posts
Mon Feb-10-20 04:42 PM

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159. "lmao.. I wouldn’t even eat the food. Can’t trust them brand new type..."
In response to Reply # 143


          

****************
TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*

  

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PimpTrickGangstaClik
Member since Oct 06th 2005
15354 posts
Mon Feb-10-20 01:03 PM

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59. "This is self centered than a mug lol"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

Either get a baby sitter, or stay home. Don't complain that THEIR idea of a good time doesn't much up with what is convenient/desirable for YOU.

It's their own party that they are spending their own money on. And you want to tell them how to run it?

We got no details, but what if it was a fancy formal type affair? You don't think some snotty nose kids would ruin that whole vibe?

For whatever reason, they want to party with adults. They don't want no damn kids running around, screaming, crying, fussing, causing distractions. That's the environment they want to create for their event. It ain't about you.

_______________________________________
You ain't the only one whose got problems. You ain't the only one who knows pain. Get up off your ass and just solve them. You still got a chance to try to change, try the shit again.
Devin tha Dude

  

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Brew
Member since Nov 23rd 2002
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Mon Feb-10-20 01:08 PM

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63. "Correct."
In response to Reply # 59


          

>Either get a baby sitter, or stay home. Don't complain that
>THEIR idea of a good time doesn't much up with what is
>convenient/desirable for YOU.
>
>It's their own party that they are spending their own money
>on. And you want to tell them how to run it?
>
>We got no details, but what if it was a fancy formal type
>affair? You don't think some snotty nose kids would ruin that
>whole vibe?
>
>For whatever reason, they want to party with adults. They
>don't want no damn kids running around, screaming, crying,
>fussing, causing distractions. That's the environment they
>want to create for their event. It ain't about you.

----------------------------------------

"Fuck aliens." © WarriorPoet415

  

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Oak27
Member since Apr 17th 2005
12626 posts
Mon Feb-10-20 01:07 PM

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61. "Per Phonte twitter: "Fuck them kids""
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

https://twitter.com/phontigallo/status/1116474104910176256

  

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flipnile
Member since Nov 05th 2003
12997 posts
Mon Feb-10-20 01:30 PM

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92. "I haven't taken my son to any weddings at all"
In response to Reply # 0


          

Always drop him off with someone. Last wedding was my cousin up in Brooklyn with an open bar last fall. lol @ bringing kids to that. Out of 5-6 of us with younger kids, only one cousin brought theirs.

Plus, my son would rather do something else anyway, so it's a win-win.

  

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Oak27
Member since Apr 17th 2005
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Mon Feb-10-20 01:31 PM

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94. "A VERY important point"
In response to Reply # 92


  

          


>Plus, my son would rather do something else anyway, so it's a
>win-win.

  

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MEAT
Member since Feb 08th 2008
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Mon Feb-10-20 04:01 PM

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142. "If it was out of town we probably wouldn’t want to take her no way"
In response to Reply # 92


  

          

This shit is like 10 miles from the house
Nobody is losing sleep what we do or don’t and kid can use some grandparents time or cousin time
But give me a parenting choice.

------
“There is no fate that cannot be surmounted by scorn.” -Albert Camus

  

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legsdiamond
Member since May 05th 2011
69843 posts
Mon Feb-10-20 09:37 PM

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186. "the parenting choice is grandma or cousin or don’t go"
In response to Reply # 142


          

****************
TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*

  

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flipnile
Member since Nov 05th 2003
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Tue Feb-11-20 10:22 AM

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196. "Yeah, having a choice is dope. *If* I wanted to bring the kid..."
In response to Reply # 142


          

...it wouldn't have been an issue either. Would have drank the same amount too... wasn't like I'm getting hammered.

>But give me a parenting choice.

One of my cousins brought her kids and it was pretty nice to see them. They had fun at the wedding, all dressed up.

  

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FLUIDJ
Member since Sep 18th 2002
43601 posts
Mon Feb-10-20 01:32 PM

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95. "There are several categories of people in this post..."
In response to Reply # 0
Mon Feb-10-20 01:33 PM by FLUIDJ

  

          

Those With Kids
Those without kids
Those with kids that have easy access to child care
Those with kids that don't have easy access to child care
Live niggas
Un-live niggas


"Get ready....for your blessing....."
"Bury me by my Grand-Grand and when you can come follow me"

  

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Oak27
Member since Apr 17th 2005
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Mon Feb-10-20 03:04 PM

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124. "nah, but there are 2 kinds of parents"
In response to Reply # 95


  

          

those who do and those who don't realize that not everybody gives a fuck about their kids.

  

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Oak27
Member since Apr 17th 2005
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Mon Feb-10-20 01:44 PM

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97. "Is there a formal term for a guest version of a Bridezilla?"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

  

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Brew
Member since Nov 23rd 2002
21123 posts
Mon Feb-10-20 02:21 PM

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100. "Ha nice."
In response to Reply # 97


          

----------------------------------------

"Fuck aliens." © WarriorPoet415

  

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lsymone
Member since Nov 03rd 2007
7391 posts
Mon Feb-10-20 02:21 PM

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101. "guestzilla?"
In response to Reply # 97


          

take a message

  

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fontgangsta
Member since Sep 04th 2005
5342 posts
Mon Feb-10-20 02:23 PM

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102. "trippin"
In response to Reply # 97


  

          

  

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lightworks
Member since Feb 17th 2006
5818 posts
Mon Feb-10-20 02:37 PM

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106. "MEATzilla"
In response to Reply # 97


          

  

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MEAT
Member since Feb 08th 2008
20967 posts
Mon Feb-10-20 04:05 PM

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145. "I’ve ... asked for nothing. "
In response to Reply # 97


  

          

Him: Yo. We are all set for march 14. Should i continue to put include you and (wife’s name) for the ceremony and lunch?

Me: Yup. And (child’s name)

Him: Sounds good. We are asking guests no kids.

Me: We should be able to find a sitter with a month of planning.

------
“There is no fate that cannot be surmounted by scorn.” -Albert Camus

  

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FLUIDJ
Member since Sep 18th 2002
43601 posts
Mon Feb-10-20 02:30 PM

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104. "Not sure how y'all don't see the slight in this..."
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

Traditionally...a wedding is an opportunity to share a huge life moment with people you love and care about. It's a pretty big deal...not just another party.

If you truly CARE about the folks you're inviting and WANT them to celebrate in this event with you...then you take all aspects of their particular situations into account. This includes not only dietary restrictions, accomodations and access for elderly and mobility challenged people, folks that you know don't get along, AND folks with kids.... If you really care about and want these people to celebrate your special day with you, then you think about ALL of that during the wedding planning, and the answer isn't just to exclude them...because if you really cared...you wouldn't exclude them or their kids or their disabilities or their dietary restrictions....

So yeah...the onus is on the wedding host....and they're definitely a shitty wedding host if they don't take this stuff into account and act in the best interest of the guests they're inviting.



"Get ready....for your blessing....."
"Bury me by my Grand-Grand and when you can come follow me"

  

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Brew
Member since Nov 23rd 2002
21123 posts
Mon Feb-10-20 02:35 PM

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105. "Damn y'all really need to get over yourselves."
In response to Reply # 104


          

----------------------------------------

"Fuck aliens." © WarriorPoet415

  

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FLUIDJ
Member since Sep 18th 2002
43601 posts
Mon Feb-10-20 02:41 PM

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109. "Damn y'all really need to learn some etiquette. "
In response to Reply # 105


  

          


"Get ready....for your blessing....."
"Bury me by my Grand-Grand and when you can come follow me"

  

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Brew
Member since Nov 23rd 2002
21123 posts
Mon Feb-10-20 02:42 PM

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110. "Oh the irony."
In response to Reply # 109


          

What about the guests who hate kids ? How does a couple accommodate them while simultaneously accommodating whiney bitchass guests like you ?

----------------------------------------

"Fuck aliens." © WarriorPoet415

  

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FLUIDJ
Member since Sep 18th 2002
43601 posts
Mon Feb-10-20 02:44 PM

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111. "People that hate kids are shitty anyway. Don’t invite THEM. "
In response to Reply # 110


  

          


"Get ready....for your blessing....."
"Bury me by my Grand-Grand and when you can come follow me"

  

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Brew
Member since Nov 23rd 2002
21123 posts
Mon Feb-10-20 02:45 PM

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113. "LOL"
In response to Reply # 111


          

----------------------------------------

"Fuck aliens." © WarriorPoet415

  

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fontgangsta
Member since Sep 04th 2005
5342 posts
Mon Feb-10-20 02:46 PM

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115. "people that hate kids don't actually hate kids"
In response to Reply # 111


  

          

they hate shitty kids
who are, in reality, just kids with shitty parents (generally)

  

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hardware
Member since May 22nd 2007
42272 posts
Mon Feb-10-20 02:53 PM

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118. "i've never been to a wedding where a child stole the show"
In response to Reply # 115


          

or any attention away from the bride and groom

They off playing with other kids away from grown folks

  

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legsdiamond
Member since May 05th 2011
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Mon Feb-10-20 03:02 PM

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121. "Me neither... but since I’m going there to drink and eat their shit up"
In response to Reply # 118


          

I’ll respect their wishes.

I can also drink much more without my kids there.

****************
TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*

  

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ThaTruth
Charter member
93171 posts
Tue Feb-11-20 03:28 PM

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235. "this:"
In response to Reply # 115


          

>they hate shitty kids
>who are, in reality, just kids with shitty parents
>(generally)

  

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Cold Truth
Member since Jan 28th 2004
42109 posts
Mon Feb-10-20 03:38 PM

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137. "You really need to not be so entitled."
In response to Reply # 109


  

          

  

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soulpsychodelicyde
Member since Nov 18th 2003
12061 posts
Tue Feb-11-20 10:26 AM

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197. "Like, for real"
In response to Reply # 105


          

  

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hardware
Member since May 22nd 2007
42272 posts
Mon Feb-10-20 02:46 PM

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114. "it just seems like putting the ceremony too high on a pedestal"
In response to Reply # 104
Mon Feb-10-20 02:48 PM by hardware

          

yeah its your wedding, but it does feel like a slight. i don't think that should ruffle your feathers as the one putting on the wedding.

If you got an open bar? Perfectly understandable.

  

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legsdiamond
Member since May 05th 2011
69843 posts
Mon Feb-10-20 03:04 PM

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123. "Umm.. it’s a wedding. It’s literally the most high ceremony"
In response to Reply # 114


          

in most people’s lives...

People spend stupid money for them. Hell, people actually put their future in jeopardy by overextended themselves for this ceremony.

****************
TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*

  

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PimpTrickGangstaClik
Member since Oct 06th 2005
15354 posts
Mon Feb-10-20 02:48 PM

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116. "Or the onus could be on the guest to leave them kids at home"
In response to Reply # 104


  

          

I see you trying to spin, but it can easily be flipped the other direction.

If you truly CARE about the folks getting married, you could make this small accommodation and make arrangements for your kids for a couple hours.

If you can't, so be it. Hopefully the host is reasonable enough to understand.

Not everyone can attend every wedding. Sometimes it's too far and expensive, can't take time off work, or you can't get someone to watch the kids. How important the wedding is to you determines how much you'd be willing to stretch to make it happen

_______________________________________
You ain't the only one whose got problems. You ain't the only one who knows pain. Get up off your ass and just solve them. You still got a chance to try to change, try the shit again.
Devin tha Dude

  

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FLUIDJ
Member since Sep 18th 2002
43601 posts
Mon Feb-10-20 03:07 PM

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125. "So basically, y’all just care about getting that registry fulfilled. "
In response to Reply # 116


  

          


Guests don’t ask to be invited. If you know me and care, you gonna set the shit up to reasonably accommodate me. A kid is a reasonable accommodation for a wedding.


"Get ready....for your blessing....."
"Bury me by my Grand-Grand and when you can come follow me"

  

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legsdiamond
Member since May 05th 2011
69843 posts
Mon Feb-10-20 03:24 PM

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129. "they just inviting you because your wife is friends with the bride"
In response to Reply # 125


          

No one really wants you coming and being all extra asking for gluten free meatless ribs and shits.

****************
TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*

  

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legsdiamond
Member since May 05th 2011
69843 posts
Mon Feb-10-20 02:59 PM

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120. "Man.. fuck all that shit b"
In response to Reply # 104
Mon Feb-10-20 03:01 PM by legsdiamond

          

Dietary restrictions? bring snacks nigga
Old wheelchair ass niggas.. bring fam who can carry yo ass up the stairs
Kids? Like MJ sang.. if you can’t watch the babies, don’t have the babies

All that accommodating bullish for guest is that progressive nonsense where everyone wants to be catered to.

Fuck all y’all. It’s my day. It’s my menu, it’s my music, it’s my party.. don’t like it? Don’t come.

****************
TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*

  

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Brew
Member since Nov 23rd 2002
21123 posts
Mon Feb-10-20 03:09 PM

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126. "Pretty damn much."
In response to Reply # 120
Mon Feb-10-20 03:13 PM by Brew

          

I'm 90% sure FLUID is just trolling at this point Has to be. Cuz his takes are so outlandish and ludicrous.

This fool is basically saying that a couple needs to reach out to every single person/couple/family invited to their wedding individually - sometimes 200+ people - to ensure that their every ridiculous whim is catered to.

Gotta be trolling.


>Dietary restrictions? bring snacks nigga
>Old wheelchair ass niggas.. bring fam who can carry yo ass up
>the stairs
>Kids? Like MJ sang.. if you can’t watch the babies, don’t
>have the babies
>
>All that accommodating bullish for guest is that progressive
>nonsense where everyone wants to be catered to.
>
>Fuck all y’all. It’s my day. It’s my menu, it’s my
>music, it’s my party.. don’t like it? Don’t come.

----------------------------------------

"Fuck aliens." © WarriorPoet415

  

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legsdiamond
Member since May 05th 2011
69843 posts
Mon Feb-10-20 05:56 PM

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172. "He ain’t trolling...lol"
In response to Reply # 126


          

****************
TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*

  

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FLUIDJ
Member since Sep 18th 2002
43601 posts
Tue Feb-11-20 06:41 AM

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190. "^^^knows my steez too well lol^^^^"
In response to Reply # 172


  

          

  

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legsdiamond
Member since May 05th 2011
69843 posts
Tue Feb-11-20 12:08 PM

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205. "Yeah, you stay wrong... lol"
In response to Reply # 190


          

****************
TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*

  

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Rjcc
Charter member
93463 posts
Mon Feb-10-20 03:03 PM

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122. "nah foh. "
In response to Reply # 104


          


www.engadgethd.com - the other stuff i'm looking at

  

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double negative
Member since Dec 14th 2007
21882 posts
Mon Feb-10-20 03:58 PM

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140. "my gran' pappy eloped, my parents eloped, I eloped..."
In response to Reply # 104


  

          

so, coming from a long line of people who said "fuck ya'll, Imma do me"...nah.

err, or rather, I didn't elope, I just got married at city hall with a small group of friends and we had brunch afterwards. me and wife instead spent wedding money on a long ass international trip combo honeymoon/vow exchange.

what I'm saying is, a wedding is a special event and its whatever it is you want it to be.

I've been to big ass 200 person events and small events with like 5 people and a dog. Its all what you make it.

***********************************************************
https://soundcloud.com/swageyph/yph-die-with-me

  

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tomjohn29
Member since Oct 18th 2004
16564 posts
Mon Feb-10-20 02:38 PM

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107. "you're either a friend or cousin to the person getting married"
In response to Reply # 0
Mon Feb-10-20 02:38 PM by tomjohn29

  

          

they aint gonna miss you lol

______________________________________

Navem nu, cuando sol
Tutu nu, vondo nos nu
Vita em, no continous non
Nos nu ekta nos sepe ta, amen

When the sun shades the ship
We sweat and life is not safe
To swim or to touch not
When we unite we hedge amen

  

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tariqhu
Charter member
15890 posts
Mon Feb-10-20 03:13 PM

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127. "I'm saying...."
In response to Reply # 107


          

why is it so important for Meat and the kids to be there lol

stay home and play with the kiddos.

Y'all buy those labels, I was born supreme

  

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MEAT
Member since Feb 08th 2008
20967 posts
Mon Feb-10-20 03:38 PM

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138. "Doesn’t make the request not whack "
In response to Reply # 107


  

          

------
“There is no fate that cannot be surmounted by scorn.” -Albert Camus

  

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My_SP1200_Broken_Again
Charter member
56608 posts
Mon Feb-10-20 02:56 PM

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119. "don't go is the easy answer.. saves you lots of $$ too."
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

  

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Cold Truth
Member since Jan 28th 2004
42109 posts
Mon Feb-10-20 03:34 PM

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131. "You're really out here thinking a wedding is about you and your kid"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

>Like folks are really out here treating kids like pets. Out
>entire life is shaped around this kid, particularly at this
>age.
>Shit feels like, come to my wedding but don’t bring your
>spouse.
>
>*the bride to be is pregnant any damn ways.

You typed an awful lot of irrelevant nonsense to justify your smug feelings of entitlement.

It's not about you, or your kid, at all, in any way, shape, or form.
You're selfish, self-centered, and entitled.

  

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hardware
Member since May 22nd 2007
42272 posts
Mon Feb-10-20 03:38 PM

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136. "I'm playing devils advocate, but i honestly didn't know it was a thing"
In response to Reply # 0
Mon Feb-10-20 03:39 PM by hardware

          

until like two weddings ago, which was out of the country so we weren't bringing him anyway.

but i was like Mynoriti. Weddings were always semi-family reunions either for us or the wedding party. Not having kids there didn't even occur to me as a concept.

i don't think there's anything wrong with it, but it does feel foreign.

  

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legsdiamond
Member since May 05th 2011
69843 posts
Mon Feb-10-20 04:40 PM

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158. "i don’t think anyone in my actual family would do that"
In response to Reply # 136


          

except for my uncles wannabe Jack and Jill ass wife? She hates us tho. We remind her of where she came from.

****************
TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*

  

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Mynoriti
Charter member
36382 posts
Mon Feb-10-20 05:15 PM

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165. "pretty much. I have no real beef with it. "
In response to Reply # 136


  

          

i mostly just find it odd, as well as surprising because judging by a lot of comments in here, it doesn't seem to be all that uncommon a thing

--------
http://ambitiondeficitdisorder.tumblr.com/

  

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hardware
Member since May 22nd 2007
42272 posts
Mon Feb-10-20 05:39 PM

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168. "Maybe its cause i'm from the South? idk"
In response to Reply # 165


          

i didn't know it was that normal

  

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FLUIDJ
Member since Sep 18th 2002
43601 posts
Mon Feb-10-20 05:19 PM

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166. "shit don't feel "foreign", shit is whack. Don't normalize whack shit fam..."
In response to Reply # 136


  

          

SAYITWHITCHOCHEST!!
THAT SHIT IS WHACK B!

  

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T Reynolds
Member since Apr 16th 2007
42260 posts
Mon Feb-10-20 04:04 PM

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144. "fuck weddings, get money"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

fuck children, get money

  

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luminous
Charter member
11678 posts
Mon Feb-10-20 04:12 PM

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150. "don't go and save your coins..."
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

--
Sometimes you have to look reality in the face and say 'No!'
-Ben (Reaper)

  

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Rjcc
Charter member
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Mon Feb-10-20 05:13 PM

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164. "my wife and I went to like 20 weddings in two years"
In response to Reply # 0


          

if anyone either doesn't invite me to their wedding

or has some kind of rule or scheduling wrinkle that makes it impossible for me to go

THEN THEY HAVE DONE ME A FUCKING FAVOR

having a wedding I can't go to is the greatest gift you, as a friend, can give to me


www.engadgethd.com - the other stuff i'm looking at

  

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Mynoriti
Charter member
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Mon Feb-10-20 05:34 PM

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167. "man, when someone apologizes for why they couldn't invite"
In response to Reply # 164


  

          

to something my first instinct would have been to see if could get out of it...

it's definitely a wonderful thing

--------
http://ambitiondeficitdisorder.tumblr.com/

  

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Rjcc
Charter member
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Mon Feb-10-20 06:12 PM

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174. "just send me the registry link and we are gooooood"
In response to Reply # 167


          


www.engadgethd.com - the other stuff i'm looking at

  

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Stadiq
Member since Dec 21st 2005
4203 posts
Mon Feb-10-20 05:43 PM

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170. "LOL this is probably the smartest reply in here"
In response to Reply # 164


          


>
>having a wedding I can't go to is the greatest gift you, as a
>friend, can give to me
>
>

  

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Rjcc
Charter member
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175. "you know how it is. you know *too many people* who are getting married"
In response to Reply # 170


          

you got the ones you can't skip because they're super close family and friends, anyone outside that? I love y'all but I don't need to be there.


www.engadgethd.com - the other stuff i'm looking at

  

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MEAT
Member since Feb 08th 2008
20967 posts
Mon Feb-10-20 06:37 PM

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176. "I 100% agree. "
In response to Reply # 164


  

          

------
“There is no fate that cannot be surmounted by scorn.” -Albert Camus

  

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Ryan M
Member since Oct 21st 2002
41221 posts
Mon Feb-10-20 06:56 PM

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178. "Plus, didn't you high five your then-fiance when people RSVP no?"
In response to Reply # 164


  

          

We sure as shit did.

Like, sure...I'd be bummed if certain people couldn't make it...but when we got that sweet, sweet "Regretfully decline" invite back - we fist pumped

------------------------------

17x NBA Champions

  

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Rjcc
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179. "definitely would have, but we did a small wedding"
In response to Reply # 178


          

it was basically our immediate families, their partners and a couple other people...which was still 40+ folks



www.engadgethd.com - the other stuff i'm looking at

  

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Rjcc
Charter member
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Mon Feb-10-20 07:03 PM

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180. "but yeah, it's a favor that goes both ways"
In response to Reply # 178


          


www.engadgethd.com - the other stuff i'm looking at

  

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hardware
Member since May 22nd 2007
42272 posts
Mon Feb-10-20 07:21 PM

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181. "I'm having a "no kids" funeral."
In response to Reply # 0


          

  

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Cold Truth
Member since Jan 28th 2004
42109 posts
Mon Feb-10-20 07:29 PM

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183. "That's A+ pettiness right there."
In response to Reply # 181


  

          

A real blue chip prospect, an absolute thoroughbred.

There aren't enough sports cliches to properly explain how dope this is lmao.

  

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SuiteLady
Member since Oct 19th 2004
15291 posts
Mon Feb-10-20 09:19 PM

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185. "me too!"
In response to Reply # 181


  

          

♥ Inescapably Me ♥

"Love is never any better than the lover" Toni Morrison (The Bluest Eye)

  

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thegodcam
Member since Oct 22nd 2004
41202 posts
Mon Feb-10-20 07:42 PM

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184. "is this a white thing??? i have never heard of such a thing before"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

and i've been to a ton of weddings

*******************************************************
i will not let finite disappointment undermine infinite hope
- Cory Booker

Football is a simple game; 22 men chase a ball for 90 minutes, and at the end the Germans always win
- Gary Lineker

  

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Rjcc
Charter member
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Tue Feb-11-20 02:44 AM

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189. "it really depends on who you kick it with"
In response to Reply # 184


          

my sister had a no-kids reception, but considering the money they were spending and the time it was happening, it really made sense.

we didn't have any rules on kids, but the dinner after was at a brewery, not really a kids place. my godson got right in the middle of the ceremony, idc, but having seen the way some people deal with their weddings? some folks would've freaked the fuck out

www.engadgethd.com - the other stuff i'm looking at

  

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legsdiamond
Member since May 05th 2011
69843 posts
Tue Feb-11-20 07:49 AM

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193. "Breweries are great for parents with kids. "
In response to Reply # 189


          

****************
TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*

  

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Oak27
Member since Apr 17th 2005
12626 posts
Tue Feb-11-20 10:44 AM

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198. "Nah, keep your kids out of adult places"
In response to Reply # 193


  

          

  

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legsdiamond
Member since May 05th 2011
69843 posts
Tue Feb-11-20 10:52 AM

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199. "Lmao... go to any brewery on a weekend and it’s like a playground"
In response to Reply # 198


          

At least that’s how it is in Charlotte.

It’s the perfect setup because you can drink while watching your kids without being judged.

Well, I’m sure the childless people who were born as full grown adults judge but fuck those weirdos.

****************
TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*

  

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MEAT
Member since Feb 08th 2008
20967 posts
Tue Feb-11-20 11:01 AM

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200. "Only if they have kid specific areas"
In response to Reply # 193


  

          

I refuse to take my kid to a brewery. You should be free to get as drunk and belligerent as you want in an adult space.
So if the only thing you have is corn hole and a fountain, that’s not a kid space
There’s a place here in San Antonio that had a full playground in the middle for kids.
We can go there.

------
“There is no fate that cannot be surmounted by scorn.” -Albert Camus

  

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legsdiamond
Member since May 05th 2011
69843 posts
Tue Feb-11-20 11:15 AM

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201. "It’s pretty hard to get shit faced drunk at a brewery"
In response to Reply # 200


          

and kids don’t need much.

Give heather some open space and a ball or cornhole bags and they are good to go.

Last thing I want is a full ass playground and beer.

Breweries with kids for us is 2 beers and bounce... and we still rarely go but when I do go by myself there are always kids.. and it’s never been a problem.

****************
TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*

  

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Rjcc
Charter member
93463 posts
Tue Feb-11-20 03:38 PM

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240. "it was a place where peopledo bring kids"
In response to Reply # 193


          

and they allow people under 21 until a certain time iirc, and we were done well before then



www.engadgethd.com - the other stuff i'm looking at

  

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FLUIDJ
Member since Sep 18th 2002
43601 posts
Tue Feb-11-20 06:42 AM

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191. "Nah, I do think it's some millennial shit though...they the only ones"
In response to Reply # 184


  

          

that have the audacity to think such absurdity is acceptable....


"Get ready....for your blessing....."
"Bury me by my Grand-Grand and when you can come follow me"

  

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legsdiamond
Member since May 05th 2011
69843 posts
Tue Feb-11-20 07:53 AM

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194. "Nah. It’s boughetto shit "
In response to Reply # 191


          

Most people I know who do it are a bit extra.

****************
TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*

  

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soulpsychodelicyde
Member since Nov 18th 2003
12061 posts
Tue Feb-11-20 11:23 AM

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203. "LMAO... you sound goofy as hell."
In response to Reply # 191


          

It isn't a millennial thing. I'm not a millennial and almost every wedding I've been to had a 'no kids' policy.

What's more interesting... it wasn't even expressed... It was understood.

  

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legsdiamond
Member since May 05th 2011
69843 posts
Tue Feb-11-20 12:08 PM

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204. "Ehhh, wasn’t a thing people requests 20 years ago"
In response to Reply # 203
Tue Feb-11-20 12:19 PM by legsdiamond

          

This some new shit IMO.

and when my fam had a party for my uncle his wife had a no kid policy. All my fam was like “where are the kids”

When I told them the policy they all went.. “oh, she is so extra” lmao.

****************
TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*

  

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Oak27
Member since Apr 17th 2005
12626 posts
Tue Feb-11-20 12:12 PM

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206. "Compare the cost of the average wedding now to 20 years ago"
In response to Reply # 204


  

          

A lot of this comes down to not wanting to pay for a kid to be a guest or preferring to use what limited space/budget they have on people they care more about.

  

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legsdiamond
Member since May 05th 2011
69843 posts
Tue Feb-11-20 02:22 PM

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211. "I don’t think this has to do with money"
In response to Reply # 206


          

I think people want their perfect day and kids are the wildcard.

You never know what you are getting with kids.

but it’s not like kids eat a ton or drink alcohol.

Hell, my wedding wasn’t big but I don’t think we even counted the kids in the head count when talking to the caterer.

I definitely respect why folks do it and wouldn’t push back on it.

Your day. Your dollars..

****************
TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*

  

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CyrenYoung
Charter member
32898 posts
Tue Feb-11-20 12:37 PM

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207. "None of this is new..."
In response to Reply # 204


  

          

..there were plenty of weddings in the 80s/90s with no-children policies employed (for various reasons).

The entitlement & outrage is hilarious.



*skatin' the rings of saturn*


..and miles to go before i sleep...

  

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MEAT
Member since Feb 08th 2008
20967 posts
Tue Feb-11-20 02:21 PM

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210. "Can y’all clarify the entitlement angle, because I’m not seeing it"
In response to Reply # 207


  

          

I feel that I’d be displaying entitlement by talking to dude about how I feel
I feel like having a personal opinion on something someone asks of you isn’t entitlement, that it’s just recognizing how you feel about something.

------
“There is no fate that cannot be surmounted by scorn.” -Albert Camus

  

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legsdiamond
Member since May 05th 2011
69843 posts
Tue Feb-11-20 02:29 PM

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213. "You said something like “they took away my choice to parent”"
In response to Reply # 210


          

Which sounds crazy af.

They didn’t do that imo.

****************
TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*

  

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MEAT
Member since Feb 08th 2008
20967 posts
Tue Feb-11-20 02:32 PM

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215. "They aren’t allowing a parent decision"
In response to Reply # 213


  

          

I don’t see how’s that entitlement to feel that way. Y’all be in here talking about anti vaccination and what not but let it be about something as non serious as a wedding and I’m the weirdo.

------
“There is no fate that cannot be surmounted by scorn.” -Albert Camus

  

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tariqhu
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Tue Feb-11-20 02:40 PM

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218. "that's the entitlement."
In response to Reply # 215


          

you're feeling like you should have the option to bring lil folks or not. they're completely allowing you to make a parent decision by you staying away with them or coming without them, but you're not seeing it that way.

Y'all buy those labels, I was born supreme

  

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MEAT
Member since Feb 08th 2008
20967 posts
Tue Feb-11-20 02:58 PM

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225. "That’s not an entitlement that’s a want"
In response to Reply # 218


  

          

I don’t feel like they need to or should be obligated to do a single thing
I think their choices are whack. Y’all are some weirdos.

------
“There is no fate that cannot be surmounted by scorn.” -Albert Camus

  

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legsdiamond
Member since May 05th 2011
69843 posts
Tue Feb-11-20 02:52 PM

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222. "They aren’t allowing you to bring the kid. "
In response to Reply # 215


          

That’s it.

They are stopping you from making any other parenting decision. It’s their wedding. Their dollar, their day.

You can make a al types of parenting decisions you just can bring the kid.

That’s like getting mad at an Adult resort for not letting you bring your child. You can go somewhere else, stay home, etc.. you just can’t bring the kid.

Wanting to make that decision yourself when it’s their wedding is the entitlement.

****************
TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*

  

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Cold Truth
Member since Jan 28th 2004
42109 posts
Tue Feb-11-20 03:10 PM

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228. "you think they need to cater to you and your desires....for their weddin..."
In response to Reply # 210


  

          

An event on the short list of the biggest days of their lives.
An event you're not paying for.
An event you're not planning.
An event to which you're invited, as a guest.

And you've made the entire thing about you.
You said that your whole life revolves around your kid, as thought hat has anything at all to do with the couple, their wedding, or their decision to disallow kids.

You're the walking, talking, breathing epitome of entitlement in this situation.

>I feel like having a personal opinion on something someone
>asks of you isn’t entitlement, that it’s just recognizing
>how you feel about something.

Right. And racists just have a different opinion.

  

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MEAT
Member since Feb 08th 2008
20967 posts
Tue Feb-11-20 04:11 PM

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246. "I ... don’t though. "
In response to Reply # 228


  

          

I’m saying what they want is whack
I also think no gf/bf spouses only policy is whack too ... which doesn’t affect me at all. It’s just an opinion.
It’s ok to have opinions

------
“There is no fate that cannot be surmounted by scorn.” -Albert Camus

  

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ThaTruth
Charter member
93171 posts
Tue Feb-11-20 04:15 PM

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251. "if you're not the person getting married or paying for it your opinion....."
In response to Reply # 246


          

is irrelevant.

  

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MEAT
Member since Feb 08th 2008
20967 posts
Tue Feb-11-20 04:40 PM

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258. "This is the most loserish shit I’ve ever heard. "
In response to Reply # 251


  

          

My opinion matters to me. And it seemed to matter enough to you to tip toe in here and respond. But all I need for it to matter is to me.

------
“There is no fate that cannot be surmounted by scorn.” -Albert Camus

  

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Cold Truth
Member since Jan 28th 2004
42109 posts
Tue Feb-11-20 04:45 PM

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259. "you literally do, based on everything you've actually said. "
In response to Reply # 246


  

          

>I’m saying what they want is whack
>I also think no gf/bf spouses only policy is whack too ...
>which doesn’t affect me at all.

That's actually underscores your own entitlement.

You think that the whims, desires, needs, etc of the guests outweigh those of the couple getting married.

Extending your entitlement to other people doesn't make you any less entitled. It only highlights your entitlement, as you're simply using other guests to justify your opinion that you and your wants should be take precedence over that of the couple getting married.

It’s just an opinion.
>It’s ok to have opinions

It's ok to have opinions.

Sure.

That's a statement that plays well in a vacuum, but whether or not an opinion is valid depends on the specifics.

Because opinions can be, and often enough are, just plain wrong.

You can hide behind "it's ok to have an opinion", but that doesn't change the bar bones facts:

This wedding isn't yours.
This wedding isn't about you.
This wedding is about the people getting married.
This is their day, among the biggest in their lives.

The problem with your opinion, when it's "ok" to have, is that literally every opinion you've expressed in this matter is 100% about the wants of everyone except the couple getting married.

You've literally made their day about everyone but the couple, which is a very entitled mentality.

What they want isn't wack, or even unreasonable.
There's nothing overly demanding about the request.

The issue is that you think you're special because you have a child.

That your child is the center of your world is a beautiful thing. Truly. I think that's awesome, and a positive reflection on you.

But, and I speak as a father myself, the fact is, your child is not the center of anyone else's world.

  

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MEAT
Member since Feb 08th 2008
20967 posts
Tue Feb-11-20 04:52 PM

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263. "If I don’t express this to the couple what’s the problem?"
In response to Reply # 259
Tue Feb-11-20 04:54 PM by MEAT

  

          

Because as long as it doesn’t manifest itself to them it’s an opinion not an entitlement.

------
“There is no fate that cannot be surmounted by scorn.” -Albert Camus

  

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Cold Truth
Member since Jan 28th 2004
42109 posts
Tue Feb-11-20 05:04 PM

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266. "Your opinion comes from YOU. it's an expression of YOU. it's YOU."
In response to Reply # 263


  

          

The entitlement is inherent in your mentality.

That's inescapable.

You keep running to "this is my opinion", but you don't address any of the valid points that are raised.

The actual opinions expressed are entitled, and rather selfish. That you're concerned with the desires of everyone but the couple, speaks directly to your sense of entitlement.

Whether you express this entitlement to the couple is irrelevant to whether or not it's an entitled opinion.

Your opinion is entitled, and you cannot pretend that your opinion is somehow separate from yourself, as though it's not an expression of who you are.

It does speak to your overall character that you're merely venting about it, and not making the demand of the couple to change their request. It's not like your a bad person, but you can't sit here and pretend that your opinions aren't an expression of you. The two are hand in hand.

  

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MEAT
Member since Feb 08th 2008
20967 posts
Tue Feb-11-20 05:11 PM

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267. "Man I posted on a message board. "
In response to Reply # 266
Tue Feb-11-20 05:20 PM by MEAT

  

          

You really do let your misery rot inside it seems.
A man takes the SMALLEST of outlets (archaic, quasi anonymous, message board) in the year 2020 and all of a sudden it’s like I ripped up their invitation front of them and rang church bells through the city.

It’s not that serious. You need a journal.

There will be tens of thousands of weddings just like this, with the same stipulations, and I'll think every one of them is whack if it's not at an adult only place. And half of the ones at adult only places I think will be whack.

------
“There is no fate that cannot be surmounted by scorn.” -Albert Camus

  

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Cold Truth
Member since Jan 28th 2004
42109 posts
Tue Feb-11-20 05:24 PM

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268. "......and cue the ad hominem, lmao. "
In response to Reply # 267


  

          

>You really do let your misery rot inside it seems.

It's funny; you can't address any of the actual points raised. Not a one.

So you do.... this.

Funnier still, is I've been more charitable than anyone else in regard to your character.

That you chose to take this cheap ass potshot, instead of addressing the points raised, says everything about you- but nothing about me.

>A man takes the SMALLEST of outlets (archaic, quasi anonymous,
>message board) in the year 2020 and all of a sudden it’s
>like I ripped up their invitation front of them and rang
>church bells through the city.

That's an absurd, juvenile reply. Nobody, and certainly not me, is saying anything remotely close to this.


Tis, along with your odd, misplaced attack above, is the tact of someone who knows they don't have a leg to stand on.

>It’s not that serious. You need a journal.

Right. "It's not that serious" is easier than actually addressing points being raised.

Granted, that tact is entirely consistent with someone who thinks that a wedding is about everyone but the people getting married.

  

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MEAT
Member since Feb 08th 2008
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Tue Feb-11-20 05:27 PM

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269. "It's not that serious to address, points, there's no points"
In response to Reply # 268


  

          

You try to debate people's opinions and it's weird to me.
I don't feel challenged by you. I feel like there's words on a screen saying "JUSTIFY YOUR THOUGHTS"

------
“There is no fate that cannot be surmounted by scorn.” -Albert Camus

  

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Cold Truth
Member since Jan 28th 2004
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Tue Feb-11-20 05:59 PM

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271. "it was serious enough for you to make personal attacks "
In response to Reply # 269
Tue Feb-11-20 06:08 PM by Cold Truth

  

          

>You try to debate people's opinions

Everyone in here is debating the topic.

This whole forum- and format- is ultimately based on debating topics.

And yes, there are points made on the subject.

Like it or not, your opinions are a reflection of you, and are up for discussion, debate, etc.

If you have an issue with your opinions being discussed and scrutinized, you should just keep them to yourself.

That you hold dumb, poorly thought out opinions that you can't- not won't, but genuinely can't- defend, is on you.

>I don't feel challenged by you.

That's probably true, considering how comfortable you are with hiding behind "that's just my opinion".

But then... you sure did have a little tantrum there, for absolutely no good reason. You could have just not replied, but you went with the personal attack.

So, to recap: I'm a guy who challenges opinions, based on the merits of those opinions.

You're a guy who, when challenged on said opinions, throws a tantrum, makes personal attacks, and then says it's not that serious.

  

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MEAT
Member since Feb 08th 2008
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Tue Feb-11-20 06:55 PM

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274. "Would it help if I said sorry? You do a lot in every post"
In response to Reply # 271


  

          

I can't keep up with your paragraphs. Historically I just kind of gloss over what you say. I've told you this before and you did another paragraph.

But I'm sorry for not responding respectfully to your attempts to engage respectfully.

------
“There is no fate that cannot be surmounted by scorn.” -Albert Camus

  

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Cold Truth
Member since Jan 28th 2004
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Tue Feb-11-20 07:27 PM

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276. "You express opinions, but don't actually own them."
In response to Reply # 274
Tue Feb-11-20 07:46 PM by Cold Truth

  

          

>I can't keep up with your paragraphs. Historically I just
>kind of gloss over what you say. I've told you this before
>and you did another paragraph.
>
>But I'm sorry for not responding respectfully to your attempts
>to engage respectfully.

You ask if an apology would help, as though I've expressed hurt or offense, rather than simply point out the petty, spiteful tact you used because you couldn't handle a thoughtful, though generally unfavorable, take on the topic you started.

It's entertaining though, I'll give you that. You think that people getting married should cater to the whims and desires of everyone- including you- but themselves, on a day that should belong to them.

You also think that you throwing a smug, petty ego tantrum complete with hilariously ironic jabs about "misery rotting from the inside"is about me taking the time and care to provide complete thoughts instead of half assed sound bites.

You also present opinions as though they are autonomous, entirely separate from you, and not coming directly from you, and a reflection of your thoughts.


To recap;

You think the most important day in theives of two human beings, neither of which is you, is, or at least should be, about you.

You also think that your overly aggressive, non-sequitur replies to me are justified by the number of words I write, when ignoring the actual content of what I write.

You express opinions, but don't actually own them.

  

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MEAT
Member since Feb 08th 2008
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Tue Feb-11-20 08:03 PM

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277. "Dude. Ok. "
In response to Reply # 276


  

          

------
“There is no fate that cannot be surmounted by scorn.” -Albert Camus

  

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CyrenYoung
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Tue Feb-11-20 03:37 PM

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238. "You don't get to decide who attends someone else's wedding..."
In response to Reply # 210
Tue Feb-11-20 03:39 PM by CyrenYoung

  

          

..Men, women, children, family, etc.

Your opinion doesn't count.

The fact that you still think someone "took a parenting decision/option" away from you (see reply #215), screams entitlement.




*skatin' the rings of saturn*


..and miles to go before i sleep...

  

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Brew
Member since Nov 23rd 2002
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Tue Feb-11-20 04:14 PM

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249. "He's also said more than once that couples should "respect their guests""
In response to Reply # 238


          

and other variations of that same bullshit.

Entitlement like a mug.

----------------------------------------

"Fuck aliens." © WarriorPoet415

  

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MEAT
Member since Feb 08th 2008
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Tue Feb-11-20 04:50 PM

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260. "Couples should respect their guests"
In response to Reply # 249
Tue Feb-11-20 04:51 PM by MEAT

  

          

I don’t know why this is a difficult thing for you to grasp.
I want my adult relationships to treat me as an adult. You got people in this world that want to manicure you for the sake of them and that’s whack.
There was recently a post on social media talking about a wedding party where the bride wanted everyone clean shaven and that included one of the groomsmen with dreads. The fucking gall to even ask that.
You got people that’ll say “no bfs/gfs” because they want to ensure that if “they going to spend money on you and a guest it’s something you committed to already”
The nerve
You have to respect the people in your life, that they’ll make the best choices for you and your relationship. And if someone isn’t capable of doing that then maybe they shouldn’t be someone you invite to this special function
For our guest list I allowed everyone on my side a plus one. MOST of the uncoupled didn’t bring dates, not because I said they shouldn’t but because they didn’t want to. One couple had teenagers, they left them at home, their choice.
Some people left an hour into the reception, they said they’re gonna double up their dc trip and party.
Etc
At the end of the night everyone made their choices and it was a respectful and fun ass night. Because the hundreds of adults in the room got to make their adult ass choices without us on some diva shit.

When you start to play dollhouse with your friends and loved ones, you’re not respecting your relationships to them. And that’s gross.

------
“There is no fate that cannot be surmounted by scorn.” -Albert Camus

  

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Brew
Member since Nov 23rd 2002
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Tue Feb-11-20 10:02 PM

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278. "Entitled af."
In response to Reply # 260


          

----------------------------------------

"Fuck aliens." © WarriorPoet415

  

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MEAT
Member since Feb 08th 2008
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Tue Feb-11-20 04:56 PM

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265. "You don’t at all. And if you think you can that’s trash. "
In response to Reply # 238
Tue Feb-11-20 04:59 PM by MEAT

  

          

But again... it’s ok to feel that people make whack choices and express that. And if I’m not expressing to them, or in ANY manner that could get back to them ... how is that entitlement?


Because entitlement screams I think this particular situation should advantage me.
And my opinion is that “I’m glad that I didn’t put anyone else into this situation, and now that I’m in it, I think it’s whack where as before I didn’t care to have an opinion on it”

------
“There is no fate that cannot be surmounted by scorn.” -Albert Camus

  

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CyrenYoung
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270. "you want it to be one way © Marlo..."
In response to Reply # 265


  

          

>But again... it’s ok to feel that people make whack choices
>and express that. And if I’m not expressing to them, or in
>ANY manner that could get back to them ... how is that
>entitlement?

Entitlement doesn't have to be an act, it can be a thought. In this manner, your entitlement lead you to believe that your opinion/situation should be taken into consideration by the people inviting you.




*skatin' the rings of saturn*


..and miles to go before i sleep...

  

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MEAT
Member since Feb 08th 2008
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Tue Feb-11-20 05:59 PM

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272. "I disagree. My preference would’ve been that the ask was never made"
In response to Reply # 270


  

          

I think when you say should, it implies something that I don’t feel.
I sure as hell WANT things my way
But I don’t have the capacity to believe in a world that is shaped by my desires
I’m a black man in America.
And so on that same token I accept the world and this situation included does not revolve around what I want and all I can do (action) is control how I respond


A good parallel in this situation is, I wouldn’t have grabbed marlos arm.
I would’ve come right on this website dot com and done the same amount of bitching that I did in here and then go about my life and not died over a fucking lollipop.

------
“There is no fate that cannot be surmounted by scorn.” -Albert Camus

  

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legsdiamond
Member since May 05th 2011
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Tue Feb-11-20 02:24 PM

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212. "New to me.. I ain’t ever heard of no kid weddings back then"
In response to Reply # 207


          

but I come from a big family.

Only time I’ve encountered it has been from those brand new negros.

****************
TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*

  

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ThaTruth
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Tue Feb-11-20 02:42 PM

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219. "its an economic thing unless your grandma & aunties are doing a potluck...."
In response to Reply # 184


          

for the reception in the back of the church lol.

At some of these higher end venues were you pay per plate unless you are immediate family in which case there's a good chance your kids are in the wedding anyway nobody is interested in paying for your rugrats to terrorize the venue.

People act like there's no such thing as adult only parties.

Some people have cookouts that they prefer people to leave their bad ass kids at home.

People that get offended by this stuff are usually the ones with bad ass kids that let them tear shit up and act like they don't see them lol.

  

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Amritsar
Member since Jan 18th 2008
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Tue Feb-11-20 06:50 AM

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192. "Kids are gross "
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

That’s all I got for this post

_______________________________________________
"Mindless populism embodied by Trump and Sanders are like a malignant wart on our body politic"

  

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rdhull
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Tue Feb-11-20 01:44 PM

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208. "kids....ALL up in the videos.."
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

  

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MEAT
Member since Feb 08th 2008
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Tue Feb-11-20 06:56 PM

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275. "Underrated response"
In response to Reply # 208


  

          

------
“There is no fate that cannot be surmounted by scorn.” -Albert Camus

  

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Buddy_Gilapagos
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Tue Feb-11-20 02:08 PM

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209. "We didn't have a no kids wedding Per se but everyone wasn't allowed to "
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

bring their kids.

It was a big wedding and it was pretty expensive per head event so every invitation was pretty clear about who was being invited. For example, plus ones were reserved for people seriously dating someone. Don't find a date for my wedding (I didn't allow my boy to bring this random chick he was dating at the time).

It's easily to judge how other people do their wedding until you have to spend money on your own. After that, I felt guilty for all the no-shows I did when my friends first started getting married.


I guess if it were family I would expect I can bring my kids but I don't think I would assume it if they weren't family or super super close friends.

Their were tons of kids at our wedding (at least that's what the pictures show), but they were all close family kids we knew. I don't remember this being an issue because this was like 15 years ago and it wasn't like everyone had kids.




**********
"Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson

"what's a leader if he isn't reluctant"

  

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ThaTruth
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Tue Feb-11-20 02:30 PM

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214. "basically..."
In response to Reply # 209


          


>It's easily to judge how other people do their wedding until
>you have to spend money on your own.

  

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MikaDanteBrown
Member since Oct 01st 2005
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Tue Feb-11-20 02:59 PM

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"We didn't allow children at ours. It was an intimate affair and I didn'..."


          

want to pick and choose who could/couldn't bring theirs. I have an uncle with a family of 8. Ain't no way. Plus, he's prone to flake. I wasn't taking that chance. My day, my say.

  

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FLUIDJ
Member since Sep 18th 2002
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Tue Feb-11-20 02:36 PM

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216. "I've given this more thought and concluded that the REAL issue is:"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

Weddings are dumb.
Nobody but the host enjoys them.
Nobody but the host WANTS them.
Nobody but the host gets ANYTHING out of them.



"Get ready....for your blessing....."
"Bury me by my Grand-Grand and when you can come follow me"

  

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Oak27
Member since Apr 17th 2005
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Tue Feb-11-20 02:39 PM

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217. "NOBODY WANTS TO GO TO YOUR WEDDING"
In response to Reply # 216


  

          

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c7eX2wKWbGc

  

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ThaTruth
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Tue Feb-11-20 02:45 PM

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220. "lies..."
In response to Reply # 216


          

>Weddings are dumb.
>Nobody but the host enjoys them.
>Nobody but the host WANTS them.
>Nobody but the host gets ANYTHING out of them.


weddings are fun as fuck the actual ceremony is whatever but the receptions are usually great.

  

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legsdiamond
Member since May 05th 2011
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Tue Feb-11-20 02:59 PM

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226. "Wife and I went to a wedding in LA. We had a blast"
In response to Reply # 220


          

and it was literally the first time we were without our kids and out of town.

Shit was like a vacation.

and all the food and drinks and other stuff was free? What more could you want?

If you go to a wedding and don’t have fun it’s because you suck at having fun.


and by wedding I mean reception. Cause the actual ceremony is always a snoozer.

****************
TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*

  

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ThaTruth
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Tue Feb-11-20 03:15 PM

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230. "exactly!"
In response to Reply # 226


          


>Shit was like a vacation.
>
>and all the food and drinks and other stuff was free? What
>more could you want?
>
>If you go to a wedding and don’t have fun it’s because you
>suck at having fun.
>
>
>and by wedding I mean reception. Cause the actual ceremony is
>always a snoozer.

  

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Marbles
Member since Oct 19th 2004
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Tue Feb-11-20 03:14 PM

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229. "Co-sign..."
In response to Reply # 220


  

          


Especially when you have folks showing up that you haven't seen in forever. We usually have a blast at the weddings we go to.

  

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Buddy_Gilapagos
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Tue Feb-11-20 02:53 PM

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223. "When I was in my wedding prime they were big fun. "
In response to Reply # 216


  

          

They were mini-reunions with friends and family you don't see often.

The only ones I didn't really enjoy were a few that I really wasn't close to the bride or groom and didn't really know anyone there.


**********
"Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson

"what's a leader if he isn't reluctant"

  

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legsdiamond
Member since May 05th 2011
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Tue Feb-11-20 02:54 PM

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224. "I think you need to get your T levels checked. You been slippin’ latel..."
In response to Reply # 216


          

****************
TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*

  

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Cold Truth
Member since Jan 28th 2004
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Tue Feb-11-20 03:24 PM

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234. "Our wedding was dope. We had a great turn out and a packed dance floor"
In response to Reply # 216


  

          

This "weddings are dumb and nobody wants to go" is a post hoc rationalization.

I've been to weddings where I was excited and happy to attend.
I've been to weddings that were a chore to get through.

People are different. Some people love weddings. Some people hate them.

For others, it depends.

The issue here is that you can't reconcile the fact that *you* don't really matter in the decision making and planning of someone else's wedding.

You can't wrap your head around the fact this day, this event, simply isn't yours.

If this were really about weddings being dumb and nobody wanting to go, that would have been your initial reply.

  

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ThaTruth
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Tue Feb-11-20 02:48 PM

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221. "I've seen people have "open" weddings as far as the ceremony but..."
In response to Reply # 0


          

the reception is invite only and some people have a problem with that.

If you're not immediate family just be honored that you're even invited, people's social entitlements kill me lol

  

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legsdiamond
Member since May 05th 2011
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Tue Feb-11-20 03:00 PM

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227. "Hmm.. I’ve seen the opposite"
In response to Reply # 221


          

mostly due to space at the wedding/church

Always seems like there are more people at the reception than the wedding.

****************
TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*

  

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Oak27
Member since Apr 17th 2005
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Tue Feb-11-20 03:17 PM

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231. "that's because people skip the church/ceremony because it's boring af"
In response to Reply # 227


  

          


>Always seems like there are more people at the reception than
>the wedding.

  

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hardware
Member since May 22nd 2007
42272 posts
Tue Feb-11-20 03:29 PM

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236. "basically. The reception is the real party"
In response to Reply # 231


          

i feel like the wedding is for people that you expect love you enough to sit through it.

  

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Cold Truth
Member since Jan 28th 2004
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Tue Feb-11-20 04:01 PM

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245. "yeah. depends on the ceremony though. we made ours short and sweet."
In response to Reply # 231


  

          

We weren't really thinking about the audience or anything. Neither of us care for long, drawn out pageantry as it is so that was a mandate for us.

Fortunately, the minister was a close friend, and he was on board with that approach. It wasn't overly religious or ceremonial, and we got straight to the point.

  

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Oak27
Member since Apr 17th 2005
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Tue Feb-11-20 04:21 PM

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254. "If your ceremony includes a religious ceremony or mass..."
In response to Reply # 245


  

          

I'll see ya at cocktail hour.

  

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Cold Truth
Member since Jan 28th 2004
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Tue Feb-11-20 04:51 PM

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261. "if/when I remarry, there will be no religious element at all"
In response to Reply # 254


  

          

But for me, I'm not going to attend at all if I don't care about you on a personal level.

So if I care about you, I'm willing to put my own preferences aside to be there for what should be among the most important days of your life.

While I don't have an objection to your position per se, I don't know that I'd want anyone at the reception who wasn't willing to attend the ceremony.

  

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ThaTruth
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Tue Feb-11-20 03:18 PM

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232. "I have too, I've literally seen everything, at the end of the day..."
In response to Reply # 227


          

everything comes down to the bride and the budget. If you're not getting married or paying for it fuck your feelings.


>mostly due to space at the wedding/church
>
>Always seems like there are more people at the reception than
>the wedding.

  

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Marbles
Member since Oct 19th 2004
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Tue Feb-11-20 03:24 PM

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233. "Man, we went to a wedding a couple months ago..."
In response to Reply # 227


  

          



The wedding had a limited number of people but then they invited a bunch extra to the dinner. And then they invited even more people beyond that for the party, dancing, drinking, etc. People had to RSVP for the wedding and the dinner. The reception was a free for all.

They only had a certain number of seats for the dinner. But the bride's mom started getting fast & loose with inviting people. If she would have invited folks for the after-dinner event, that would have been fine.

But people who had RSVPed ended up leaving because they arrived and there were no seats. The random invitees had snatched them up.

The groom's mother was ENRAGED.

  

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Rjcc
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241. "who was paying / who made the decisions"
In response to Reply # 233


          



www.engadgethd.com - the other stuff i'm looking at

  

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Marbles
Member since Oct 19th 2004
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Tue Feb-11-20 04:13 PM

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248. "Bride's family"
In response to Reply # 241


  

          


But the groom's mother had thrown in some additional money to cover some extra things.

I'm certain it wasn't about the money. I think it was the fact that folks who sent in an RSVP had to be turned away. Bride's mom should have stuck with the number of available seats.

  

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Rjcc
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93463 posts
Tue Feb-11-20 04:29 PM

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255. "it's always about the money"
In response to Reply # 248


          


www.engadgethd.com - the other stuff i'm looking at

  

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Rjcc
Charter member
93463 posts
Tue Feb-11-20 04:55 PM

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264. "and I don't mean just what's spent"
In response to Reply # 255


          

folks get mad that somebody else paid, it's wild

I'm in a fb group for a wedding planning podcast I listened to and the stories are RIDICULOUS

www.engadgethd.com - the other stuff i'm looking at

  

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hardware
Member since May 22nd 2007
42272 posts
Tue Feb-11-20 03:35 PM

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237. "a lot of conflation of &quot;wedding&quot; and &quot;reception&quot;"
In response to Reply # 0
Tue Feb-11-20 03:35 PM by hardware

          

Wedding = boring, wack.
Reception = part everybody is actually there for.

i see why financially its the same, but i feel like i could be two stages of invite, honestly. Only so many people can fit in a church or mansion. You can rent out the club for a reception and just have a gift table

  

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Marbles
Member since Oct 19th 2004
21790 posts
Tue Feb-11-20 03:38 PM

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239. "Real question..."
In response to Reply # 237


  

          


Has anyone seen an instance where folks were invited to the wedding but not the reception?

I've had the flip, where I was invited up for the party but wasn't invited to the wedding.

  

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Rjcc
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93463 posts
Tue Feb-11-20 03:40 PM

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242. "I think my friend's was like that"
In response to Reply # 239


          

I was invited to both, but I think they had a lot of like church friends etc. who were invited to the wedding and a small event after but not the reception

www.engadgethd.com - the other stuff i'm looking at

  

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ThaTruth
Charter member
93171 posts
Tue Feb-11-20 03:49 PM

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243. "I've seen both"
In response to Reply # 239


          

>
> Has anyone seen an instance where folks were invited to the
>wedding but not the reception?
>
> I've had the flip, where I was invited up for the party but
>wasn't invited to the wedding.

I've live if said above I've seen where the reception was invite only and usually there's a financial reason for that because the reception is at a fancy place and whomever is footing the bill has to pay "per plate"

  

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FLUIDJ
Member since Sep 18th 2002
43601 posts
Tue Feb-11-20 04:12 PM

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247. "We did that *shrugs*"
In response to Reply # 239


  

          

lol

The irony....I know


"Get ready....for your blessing....."
"Bury me by my Grand-Grand and when you can come follow me"

  

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Marbles
Member since Oct 19th 2004
21790 posts
Tue Feb-11-20 04:15 PM

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250. "LOL! I've never seen it..."
In response to Reply # 247


  

          


But I'm among the few who believe that the bride & the groom call the shots and everyone else should roll with it. It was your wedding, so you make the rules. Folks don't like it, don't go.

  

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Brew
Member since Nov 23rd 2002
21123 posts
Tue Feb-11-20 04:15 PM

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252. "HOW DISRESPECTFUL OF YOU !"
In response to Reply # 247


          

----------------------------------------

"Fuck aliens." © WarriorPoet415

  

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Oak27
Member since Apr 17th 2005
12626 posts
Tue Feb-11-20 04:17 PM

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253. "My favorite turn of events in this thread"
In response to Reply # 252
Tue Feb-11-20 04:22 PM by Oak27