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madwriter
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12236 posts
Sat Mar-02-13 10:43 AM

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""


  

          

Isn't she any okay?


http://cityroom.blogs.nytimes.com/2013/03/01/using-walls-to-talk-back-to-unwelcome-compliments/?smid=fb-share

Using Walls to Talk Back to Unwelcome ‘Compliments’
By JULIE TURKEWITZ
Posters on a wall on Tompkins Avenue in Bedford-Stuyvesant, Brooklyn, try to make the point that some comments to women aren't welcome. “These things make you feel like your body isn’t yours,” the artist says.Robert Stolarik for The New York Times Posters on a wall on Tompkins Avenue in Bedford-Stuyvesant, Brooklyn, try to make the point that some comments to women aren’t welcome. “These things make you feel like your body isn’t yours,” the artist says.

Shorty. Sweetie. Sweetheart. Baby. Boo. If you’re a woman, you’ve probably heard it.

If you were to respond, what would you say?

Last fall, Tatyana Fazlalizadeh began replying — through her art — to the dozens of men who approached her in public each week. As night fell, she slipped out of her Bedford-Stuyvesant apartment armed with a bottle of wheat paste, a couple of posters and a paintbrush, and began to pepper Brooklyn with messages:

“My name is not Baby.” “Women are not seeking your validation.” “Stop telling women to smile.”

Since September, Ms. Fazlalizadeh has plastered walls in Bedford-Stuyvesant, Bushwick, Clinton Hill and Williamsburg. As winter came and night temperatures dropped, though, she retired her paintbrush. “The wheat paste starts to freeze before it actually dries,” she said. “So the paper wasn’t holding.”

But as slightly warmer weather has returned, so have the messages. She recently tossed up two posters on the corner of Tompkins Avenue and Halsey Street in Bedford-Stuyvesant. And Ms. Fazlalizadeh, 27, an Oklahoma-born oil painter, illustrator and after-school art teacher, was headed back out Friday night. “I’d like them to be out in Manhattan somewhere,” she said.

The project grew out of a desire to explain that for many women, “hey sweetums” or “let’s see that smile” isn’t a compliment. “These things make you feel like your body isn’t yours,” she said.

Of course, her target audience may still need convincing. On Friday afternoon, Andrés Carlos, 50, stood by the freshly pasted posters on Tompkins Avenue. “A woman likes nothing more than being told she is beautiful,” he said. “For me, this is ridiculous.”

A friend of his, Richard Johnson, 29, passed by. Mr. Johnson is married, and no longer calls at women on the street. But he did his share of aggressive flirtation. Did women respond negatively? “Sometimes,” he said. Did he stop? “No,” he said. “I’m persistent.”
--------
<--------- my cousin
www.richardlouissaint.com
photobloggin' it:
http://blog.richardlouissaint.com

  

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Topic Outline
Subject Author Message Date ID
Yes she is.
Mar 02nd 2013
1
I'm going to start telling broads to frown and look miserable...
Mar 02nd 2013
2
do a prat fall...
Mar 02nd 2013
4
nigga we all got problems...toughen up that skin and put up a smile...
Mar 02nd 2013
11
      nigga, you ain't concerned
Mar 02nd 2013
14
           did your dog commit suicide...horrible name
Mar 02nd 2013
15
                DO YOU WANT ME TO SMILE OR NOT
Mar 02nd 2013
16
                     no I want you to frown and look miserable
Mar 02nd 2013
18
                          mission accomplished, wit yo' boring ass
Mar 02nd 2013
20
                               wierdo...
Mar 02nd 2013
22
                                    *harlem shakes*
Mar 02nd 2013
23
Why do you have to say anything?
Mar 02nd 2013
5
      mom's told me to spread good vibes in the world and compliment others
Mar 02nd 2013
8
posts like this will bring out the asses
Mar 02nd 2013
3
women live for validation...
Mar 02nd 2013
6
fall back fool
Mar 02nd 2013
7
DIDNT I TELL YOU TO FOLLOW ME TO STARBUCKS???
Mar 02nd 2013
9
Bitches die...get over it...
Mar 02nd 2013
13
It's actually the reverse. Men need the validation of a response.
Mar 02nd 2013
17
      thats life...
Mar 02nd 2013
19
           oh I see...
Mar 02nd 2013
25
                lol...you know the game Goldie..
Mar 02nd 2013
27
mad nuff respect...
Mar 02nd 2013
10
swag.
Mar 02nd 2013
12
I love when OKPs' work makes headlines :-) I though she's in Philly tho
Mar 02nd 2013
21
I think she moved up to Bk a little while ago
Mar 02nd 2013
29
Can we have a "how do you approach women" post again?
Mar 02nd 2013
24
just don't shout orders at women on the street and you good
Mar 02nd 2013
26
become an artist and paste compliments along the streets...
Mar 02nd 2013
28
      lmao
Mar 02nd 2013
51
I don't get dudes who don't understand that when you cold holler
Mar 02nd 2013
30
it aint that serious...
Mar 02nd 2013
31
I'm sorry but usually I could give a fuck if someone says hi to me
Mar 02nd 2013
32
      what the hell is wrong with people?
Mar 02nd 2013
33
      I don't know anyone's intentions and I'm definitely not about the
Mar 02nd 2013
34
      sig: "I'm starving for a good conversation"
Mar 02nd 2013
35
           the 'I'm def not bout the social media like that' quote along with the l...
Mar 02nd 2013
37
           while she posts on okp
Mar 02nd 2013
42
           Can't be life brah.
Mar 02nd 2013
44
           LMAO
Mar 12th 2013
256
           someone else's quote and it was in reference to niggas here
Mar 02nd 2013
46
      What does atheism have to do with being friendly?
Mar 02nd 2013
36
           Lord knows...
Mar 02nd 2013
39
                Lol
Mar 02nd 2013
49
      nobody in NYC has ever said hi to me and kept going
Mar 02nd 2013
43
           that's a small percentage...
Mar 02nd 2013
47
                Lol @ Soweto.
Mar 02nd 2013
50
                Lolol
Mar 03rd 2013
111
that is a great analogy
Mar 03rd 2013
114
I wish someone would write 'unless you're cute' underneath em
Mar 02nd 2013
38
unless you paying my student loans
Mar 02nd 2013
40
cute ones are the worst ones, they feel like they have handed you
Mar 13th 2013
264
i don't like them.
Mar 02nd 2013
41
Woah. This should be anchored. Good for her.
Mar 02nd 2013
45
Nice. Things like this make me miss Brooklyn.
Mar 02nd 2013
48
I wish people could live without any positive actions that are inspired
Mar 02nd 2013
52
i wish sexy broads--
Mar 02nd 2013
53
I think tyra banks did that on her show one time
Mar 02nd 2013
54
???
Mar 02nd 2013
58
...
Mar 02nd 2013
62
You've missed the point
Mar 03rd 2013
65
      RE: You've missed MY point
Mar 03rd 2013
68
The irony in all of this, is that an artist has a problem with...
Mar 02nd 2013
55
DEEP
Mar 02nd 2013
56
CON LA TERRORISTA!!!!!!!!! *starts dancing*
Mar 02nd 2013
59
^^^^^^The megaton star, so astounding^^^^^^^
Mar 03rd 2013
118
Y'all 'happy to be alive' niggas be cheesing at dudes on the street too?
Mar 02nd 2013
57
I'm actually nicer to dudes cause I'm afraid I'll say "Hi" to a feminist
Mar 02nd 2013
60
Pretty much.
Mar 02nd 2013
61
*claps to this*
Mar 03rd 2013
75
Right? I don't remember the last time I received a random "Good morning"
Mar 03rd 2013
63
how you doin goldmind?
Mar 03rd 2013
64
lmao!!! :D
Mar 03rd 2013
217
lmao
Mar 12th 2013
258
what folks seem to be missing is the reason COMPLIMENTS is in quotes
Mar 03rd 2013
66
such a terrible problem!!!--
Mar 03rd 2013
76
      I hate you but you are SO on the money with this response.
Mar 03rd 2013
79
      ??? why you hate me fam?
Mar 03rd 2013
83
           Hate is a strong word. your stance on monogamy is an issue for me.
Mar 03rd 2013
94
      Oh, you sure told me.
Mar 03rd 2013
84
      you look beautiful in your Avatar picture--
Mar 03rd 2013
87
      I don't see why you have to be that way
Mar 03rd 2013
91
      nice avy
Mar 03rd 2013
90
           How DARE you!!!--
Mar 03rd 2013
109
                It's notable how you address him and not me
Mar 03rd 2013
113
                     So wait YOU get street harassed like THAT in NYC.
Mar 03rd 2013
127
                          ignoring your slight shade...
Mar 03rd 2013
139
                               then limit this to NY
Apr 25th 2014
271
      Damn these dudes dropping gems from all over the court
Mar 03rd 2013
120
That needs to be put in tshirts stat
Mar 03rd 2013
67
That would be dope.
Mar 03rd 2013
69
i think it works better as a shirt so that
Mar 03rd 2013
71
now this is something i agree with.
Mar 03rd 2013
86
she could get paid for real nm
Mar 03rd 2013
72
stoptellingwomentosmile.bigcartel.com
Mar 03rd 2013
82
      LOL. Werk!!
Mar 03rd 2013
100
      awesome, thanks!
Mar 03rd 2013
103
      does that tee come in baby doll sizes?--
Mar 03rd 2013
119
the world is a wild place...
Mar 03rd 2013
70
Oh god....what have you done.....please...please edit.
Mar 03rd 2013
74
RE: Oh god....what have you done.....please...please edit.
Mar 03rd 2013
78
RE: the world is a wild place...
Mar 03rd 2013
88
      RE: the world is a wild place...
Mar 03rd 2013
224
lotta dudes minds will change re street harrassment
Mar 03rd 2013
73
as far as cat calling goes
Mar 03rd 2013
77
then how will she hear the random rapist/killer
Mar 03rd 2013
80
      niggas ain't catcalling at midnight
Mar 03rd 2013
81
           niggas DO catcall at midnight
Mar 03rd 2013
95
                "but no seriously" denotes that that was a joke.
Mar 03rd 2013
97
                     I'm guessing the rest wasn't a joke though?
Mar 03rd 2013
99
                          avoiding sketchy places part was not a joke
Mar 03rd 2013
107
                               ok, yeah
Mar 03rd 2013
110
                                    *sigh* i know this ma'am but this post and his reply
Mar 03rd 2013
115
                                         i'm not coming for you
Mar 03rd 2013
144
                                              the only way to avoid having anything happen to you
Mar 03rd 2013
159
                                                   :(
Mar 03rd 2013
226
I think it's more about empowering women
Mar 03rd 2013
92
RE: lotta dudes minds will change re street harrassment
Mar 03rd 2013
101
Dude has to be ready to fight that cat if he's gonna go that
Mar 03rd 2013
117
      ok, drama queen
Mar 03rd 2013
122
           Lol, if only I were fabricating that.
Mar 03rd 2013
124
i dig what you're saying...
Mar 03rd 2013
131
so lets see, after we get rid of the--
Mar 03rd 2013
85
i don't get what you're saying...
Mar 03rd 2013
93
      hey im agreeing with you--
Mar 03rd 2013
121
paste them up around the grade schools.
Mar 03rd 2013
89
i remember us girls initiating those types of games growing
Mar 03rd 2013
96
RE: i remember us girls initiating those types of games growing
Mar 03rd 2013
98
      i agree with everything you wrote.
Mar 03rd 2013
102
           i do not disagree. nm
Mar 03rd 2013
106
           well this is a women at men campaign...
Mar 03rd 2013
126
                this the shit i don't like:
Mar 03rd 2013
209
                     yup...
Mar 03rd 2013
220
man that was so much fun
Mar 13th 2013
265
I'm going to sound slightly niggerish here but...
Mar 03rd 2013
104
nigga said slightly.
Mar 03rd 2013
105
ever been to alabama?
Mar 12th 2013
254
ladies and gentlemen, alabama power.
Mar 03rd 2013
112
this is about the way men are speaking to women...
Mar 03rd 2013
129
      There's women on this board on the Don't Say Shit To Me tip.
Mar 03rd 2013
130
           they're entitled to that tho...
Mar 03rd 2013
132
                Well shit I'm entitled to speak to them if I so choose to.
Mar 03rd 2013
133
                     actually you are...
Mar 03rd 2013
135
                     I guess people are entitled to say whatever to whomever
Mar 03rd 2013
149
smiling at strangers on the street is just part of the emotional labor
Mar 03rd 2013
108
this.
Mar 03rd 2013
150
Thanks for this.
Mar 03rd 2013
205
we need to change THAT part in particular
Apr 25th 2014
272
the "smile" thing is also particularly american
Mar 03rd 2013
116
RE: the "smile" thing is also particularly american
Mar 03rd 2013
123
...so OKP women, you only want compliments on OKP and from other women.....
Mar 03rd 2013
125
why u call me a weirdo and stopped responding
Mar 03rd 2013
128
      again...if someone says hi, or gives you a compliment
Mar 03rd 2013
142
           but you asking a lady to smile
Mar 03rd 2013
151
                do you like seeing young black men with pants sagging?
Mar 03rd 2013
164
                     omg, I'm so fucking turned on right now
Mar 03rd 2013
179
are you gentlemen aware...
Mar 03rd 2013
134
Novembergift is crushing it in this thread.
Mar 03rd 2013
136
It must be awesome to be a woman of color and possess
Mar 03rd 2013
138
They almost come across like White people.
Mar 03rd 2013
140
they can never be wrong--
Mar 03rd 2013
146
women have no need for logic, its all emotion
Mar 13th 2013
266
a-trolling you will go, a-trolling you will go
Mar 03rd 2013
152
Wow.
Mar 03rd 2013
156
Who on here said you weren't pretty enough to get
Mar 03rd 2013
163
      They see what they wanna see and hear what they wanna hear.
Mar 03rd 2013
166
      RE: Who on here said you weren't pretty enough to get
Mar 03rd 2013
168
      don't is generally true, can't is speculative
Mar 03rd 2013
169
      The Civil Rights Movement split Moral Authority apart from
Mar 03rd 2013
171
      derailing
Mar 03rd 2013
188
      please see this train of thought to completion
Mar 03rd 2013
193
           I never claimed that moral authority puts food on the table
Mar 03rd 2013
200
                so within a tiny, tiny faction of the general population,
Mar 03rd 2013
230
                That's not a tiny, tiny fraction of the population.
Mar 03rd 2013
233
                     alright, man. I'm sleep.
Mar 03rd 2013
236
                So what's the problem?
Mar 03rd 2013
231
                     I never said it was a problem. In fact, I said it must be
Mar 03rd 2013
232
                          with sarcasm. you said it with sarcasm.
Mar 03rd 2013
235
                          That's a hustle I refuse to knock, though.
Mar 03rd 2013
237
                               yeah, man. we're killing the Oppression Olympics
Mar 03rd 2013
239
                                    Fighting to defend that moral authority isn't necessarily
Mar 03rd 2013
240
                          It was smarmy, and strangely resentful.
Mar 03rd 2013
246
                               I only have moral authority as a black person, not as a man.
Mar 03rd 2013
248
                                    Uh I'm, too, a man. Yet I'm perceived to have "moral authority"
Mar 03rd 2013
249
      I wonder how this post would look if...
Mar 03rd 2013
172
           Ultra misogynistic. What's your point?
Mar 03rd 2013
181
      post is full of women explaining/giving specific examples, and yet:
Mar 03rd 2013
173
Boy, bye.
Mar 03rd 2013
167
nigga you ain't even in the demographic...
Mar 03rd 2013
148
I'm glad I got married before all this bullshit came about.
Mar 03rd 2013
137
That's an interesting point.
Mar 03rd 2013
141
^ did not read ffor colored girls who have considered suicide
Mar 03rd 2013
143
      She was reacting to my grandmother - grandma puts pepper
Mar 03rd 2013
147
           i don't know american culture well enough to know
Mar 03rd 2013
154
You and me both, bruh....
Mar 03rd 2013
165
you know what tho?
Mar 03rd 2013
222
Literally thought this while reading through this post
Mar 03rd 2013
202
Amen
Apr 24th 2014
270
Fuck. Me four. Every time I see these posts.
Mar 13th 2013
260
dudes refuse to get it
Mar 03rd 2013
145
there's a lot of this
Mar 03rd 2013
195
check this incident out
Mar 03rd 2013
153
So what that got to do with hollas tho.
Mar 03rd 2013
157
      ya boys are reckless
Mar 03rd 2013
158
FELLAS, YOU SHOULD NEVER SPEAK TO WOMEN ON THE STREET PERIOD!
Mar 03rd 2013
155
http://25.media.tumblr.com/1d119390659c33aa899d497000b495e5/tumblr_mf7hr...
Mar 03rd 2013
174
Its only harassment if you're not attracted to him or find him attractiv...
Mar 03rd 2013
160
the hypocrisy of women knows no limits.
Mar 03rd 2013
162
you only say this to justify harassment
Mar 03rd 2013
176
      but you acting like that doesn't happen though.
Mar 03rd 2013
177
      I'm halfway joking, I'm actually on your side....
Mar 03rd 2013
183
           no, it's not. and if you're on my side, do better a job of it.
Mar 03rd 2013
192
                So is it safe for me to assume....
Mar 03rd 2013
198
Take this dick.
Mar 03rd 2013
161
^^^^ Ladies and Gentleman... The Asses ^^^^
Mar 03rd 2013
170
Yall niggas stupid
Mar 03rd 2013
175
its all good let her express herself
Mar 03rd 2013
178
but dont let the men
Mar 13th 2013
267
YO! time the fuck out! - senor love daddy from do the right thing
Mar 03rd 2013
180
Like I said up top, I leave them completely alone in the street.
Mar 03rd 2013
182
And this is the best approach, unfortunately.....
Mar 03rd 2013
186
Then the next post will be "Why Don't Men Approach Me?"
Mar 03rd 2013
184
ive posted on this bitch every damn day for 13 yrs
Mar 03rd 2013
185
Theres a first time for everything, chief....
Mar 03rd 2013
189
I used to hear that from black women alot in college.
Mar 03rd 2013
194
of course you dont--
Mar 03rd 2013
197
Nah those post have happen but your original point is correct
Mar 03rd 2013
210
RE: Then the next post will be "Why Don't Men Approach Me?"
Mar 03rd 2013
187
      LOL
Mar 03rd 2013
190
      LOL
Mar 03rd 2013
199
      i wish men worldwide--
Mar 03rd 2013
201
      they don't feel you till you ignore them. little itty bitty been blowing...
Mar 03rd 2013
203
      let you tell it niggas ain't even capable of ignoring
Mar 03rd 2013
206
           *HITS IGNORE*
Mar 03rd 2013
211
      lmao
Mar 03rd 2013
204
      Whoaaaaaaa.
Mar 03rd 2013
241
no its not about them getting harassed--
Mar 03rd 2013
191
Forever 16.
Mar 03rd 2013
196
there are 2 parallel discussions being conducted here...
Mar 03rd 2013
207
*grabs bag of stones and koran*
Mar 03rd 2013
208
http://www.openbible.info/topics/stoning_to_death
Mar 03rd 2013
212
      man that was depressing.
Mar 03rd 2013
214
let's not take it this far, now.
Mar 03rd 2013
213
      it always comes down to your dicks, doesn't it? haha
Mar 03rd 2013
215
           Main purposes in life: Survival, Reproduction.
Mar 03rd 2013
216
                wamp wamp wamp 'cut my dick off'...
Mar 03rd 2013
245
If a woman isn't introduced to me or doesn't initiate convo I ignore 'em...
Mar 13th 2013
261
Part of the reason this isnt received well is because one woman cant spe...
Mar 03rd 2013
218
there does come a point, ladies where you don't internalize...
Mar 03rd 2013
219
You might be the only woman talking sense in here....
Mar 03rd 2013
223
http://i45.tinypic.com/261gh1h.gif
Mar 03rd 2013
228
      I'm sorry sis, didnt mean to leave you out.....
Mar 03rd 2013
229
           lol I was just messin
Mar 03rd 2013
238
Word
Mar 03rd 2013
225
I don't think this is uncommon
Mar 03rd 2013
234
      Great points.
Mar 03rd 2013
242
      you will find 0 instance in this post...
Mar 03rd 2013
244
           I didn't mean to imply that you have
Mar 03rd 2013
250
                certainly they will, but why the necessitation to combat what i said?
Mar 03rd 2013
251
                     I didn't want the 'one of the good ones' line to start at your reply
Mar 03rd 2013
252
Man, this was 'sposta be about TLynnFaz on the nytimes website
Mar 03rd 2013
221
word. big up to her.
Mar 12th 2013
259
dope n/m
Mar 03rd 2013
227
The OKP Rabbit Hole strikes again.
Mar 03rd 2013
243
DEEP
Mar 03rd 2013
247
damn i haven't looked at this post since the first day
Mar 12th 2013
253
i completely missed this post
Mar 12th 2013
255
I'd say it went right where it needed ta go!
Mar 13th 2013
262
*smh*
Mar 12th 2013
257
I need 1,000 copies of those for my city.
Mar 13th 2013
263
Jun 19th 2013
268
this apparently hasn't been posted...
Apr 24th 2014
269
Koku's body is BANGIN!!! ...........
Apr 25th 2014
273
I watched the video just off the strength of your review
Apr 25th 2014
274
      sorry fam...the vid just reminded me is all...yeah, she shoulda
Apr 25th 2014
276
"I am not here for you"--perfect way to sum it up
Apr 25th 2014
275

Very-Effortless
Member since May 07th 2011
7452 posts
Sat Mar-02-13 10:52 AM

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1. "Yes she is. "
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

And this is the dumbest thing ever:

>Friday afternoon, Andrés Carlos, 50, stood by the freshly
>pasted posters on Tompkins Avenue. “A woman likes nothing more
>than being told she is beautiful,” he said.

There are millions of things t"a woman likes more than being told you're beautiful by an aggressive stranger.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Green Mile is a movie where the magical black man wrongly dies and the white man who let it happen lives forever.

  

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FromTheGo
Member since Feb 04th 2003
10606 posts
Sat Mar-02-13 11:09 AM

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2. "I'm going to start telling broads to frown and look miserable..."
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

...entitled heifers...



†††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††
http://s17.postimg.org/6r7bfqpnz/kyrieglass.jpg - They Call Him Mr. Glass

  

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Krispee
Member since May 23rd 2010
3816 posts
Sat Mar-02-13 11:16 AM

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4. "do a prat fall..."
In response to Reply # 2


  

          


maybe you'll get a genuine smile

instead of an awkward, faked, forced one.

or maybe she'll tell you her problems, and why she isn't wearing a smile at that particular moment, which is what I'd do

you tell me to smile

I'm stopping you on the street and laying it out there

my dog died
I just lost my bus pass

my car has a scratch on it

my boss just fucking railed on me in front of everyone and I'm headed to the Starbucks to get his latte with soy milk and extra foam even though he's never gonna give me that raise I deserve because he's fucking Carla from accounting and that BITCH gets all the perks even though she got her degree from junior college and I graduated summa cum laude!! Can you believe that bullshit??? Would you be smiling if you knew you had to work another 2 years in this bullshit ass dept before you get another promotion??

walk with me to Starbucks, I got more to tell you




  

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FromTheGo
Member since Feb 04th 2003
10606 posts
Sat Mar-02-13 11:35 AM

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11. "nigga we all got problems...toughen up that skin and put up a smile..."
In response to Reply # 4


  

          

...people fuck with you...


Smile, kill them with kindness, don't give them the pleasure of knowing they can crush your esteem...


Life is hard as shit, smile and realize the blessings you have and how fortunate you are...



...and if shit is so fucked up where you can't, then there is a polite way to take someone's compliment and KIM...


...thanks but no thanks...
...not now but I appreciate your concern...
...so you say I don't have a beautiful frown, nigga...




Some women like compliments, don't speak for all women...




That's like me saying all men want pretty women to drop on their knees and dome him up on the streets...

...we all don't wan.....

...well bad example




†††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††
http://s17.postimg.org/6r7bfqpnz/kyrieglass.jpg - They Call Him Mr. Glass

  

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Krispee
Member since May 23rd 2010
3816 posts
Sat Mar-02-13 11:39 AM

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14. "nigga, you ain't concerned"
In response to Reply # 11


  

          



but I'm gon' make you concerned


*grabs your arm and drags you to Starbucks*


so anyway.... I named my dog Handkerchief because the day Gramdma brought him home he was wearing a li....


  

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FromTheGo
Member since Feb 04th 2003
10606 posts
Sat Mar-02-13 11:43 AM

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15. "did your dog commit suicide...horrible name"
In response to Reply # 14


  

          

Why do you waste your money at Starbucks?

†††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††
http://s17.postimg.org/6r7bfqpnz/kyrieglass.jpg - They Call Him Mr. Glass

  

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Krispee
Member since May 23rd 2010
3816 posts
Sat Mar-02-13 11:44 AM

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16. "DO YOU WANT ME TO SMILE OR NOT"
In response to Reply # 15


  

          


and I'm spending the bosses' money


you don't listen very well do you


  

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FromTheGo
Member since Feb 04th 2003
10606 posts
Sat Mar-02-13 11:52 AM

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18. "no I want you to frown and look miserable "
In response to Reply # 16


  

          

†††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††
http://s17.postimg.org/6r7bfqpnz/kyrieglass.jpg - They Call Him Mr. Glass

  

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Krispee
Member since May 23rd 2010
3816 posts
Sat Mar-02-13 11:57 AM

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20. "mission accomplished, wit yo' boring ass"
In response to Reply # 18


  

          



*leaves you with the Starbucks bill*


  

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FromTheGo
Member since Feb 04th 2003
10606 posts
Sat Mar-02-13 12:04 PM

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22. "wierdo..."
In response to Reply # 20


  

          

†††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††
http://s17.postimg.org/6r7bfqpnz/kyrieglass.jpg - They Call Him Mr. Glass

  

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Krispee
Member since May 23rd 2010
3816 posts
Sat Mar-02-13 12:05 PM

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23. "*harlem shakes*"
In response to Reply # 22


  

          

  

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DaHeathenOne76
Member since May 11th 2003
29362 posts
Sat Mar-02-13 11:18 AM

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5. "Why do you have to say anything?"
In response to Reply # 2


          

Talk about entitled. . .
*********************************************************
Please support my brothers music!
http://www.reverbnation.com/Saxappeal

  

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FromTheGo
Member since Feb 04th 2003
10606 posts
Sat Mar-02-13 11:26 AM

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8. "mom's told me to spread good vibes in the world and compliment others"
In response to Reply # 5


  

          

...told me that plenty of people aren't respected enough and some have esteem issues because life is harsh and the world is cruel...

...you never know if your compliment will mean anything or not but don't be afraid to speak your mind...



...you calling my mother a liar?



†††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††
http://s17.postimg.org/6r7bfqpnz/kyrieglass.jpg - They Call Him Mr. Glass

  

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Krispee
Member since May 23rd 2010
3816 posts
Sat Mar-02-13 11:11 AM

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3. "posts like this will bring out the asses"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          



but props to one of our OKP artists, I always liked her work.

  

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FromTheGo
Member since Feb 04th 2003
10606 posts
Sat Mar-02-13 11:22 AM

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6. "women live for validation..."
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

Why else would the fashion and cosmetic industries exist?



The moment men don't validate your efforts to look attractive or recognize accomplishments, you step up the notch for attention or get into woe is me mode...




†††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††
http://s17.postimg.org/6r7bfqpnz/kyrieglass.jpg - They Call Him Mr. Glass

  

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Krispee
Member since May 23rd 2010
3816 posts
Sat Mar-02-13 11:23 AM

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7. "fall back fool"
In response to Reply # 6


  

          

  

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Krispee
Member since May 23rd 2010
3816 posts
Sat Mar-02-13 11:29 AM

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9. "DIDNT I TELL YOU TO FOLLOW ME TO STARBUCKS???"
In response to Reply # 6


  

          


I gotta tell you about how my dog died in my arms...


come on!

  

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FromTheGo
Member since Feb 04th 2003
10606 posts
Sat Mar-02-13 11:35 AM

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13. "Bitches die...get over it..."
In response to Reply # 9


  

          

†††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††
http://s17.postimg.org/6r7bfqpnz/kyrieglass.jpg - They Call Him Mr. Glass

  

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sixteenstone
Member since Sep 22nd 2002
27996 posts
Sat Mar-02-13 11:45 AM

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17. "It's actually the reverse. Men need the validation of a response. "
In response to Reply # 6


  

          

Some men will beg you just to look their way. Yall need attention from women on the street so bad.
I could go the rest of my life without these thirsty niggas saying a word to me. Men could not go a day without hollering.

Remember Novemthree's Courage...
visit on the web:www.16stonevintage.com
like on facebook: https://www.facebook.com/16stonevintage
follow on instagram: http://instagram.com/sixteenstone http://instagram.com/vintageblkmags/

  

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FromTheGo
Member since Feb 04th 2003
10606 posts
Sat Mar-02-13 11:56 AM

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19. "thats life..."
In response to Reply # 17


  

          

you married so you got chosen



Only reason yall hate is cause of the amount of hollas.


If you neeeeeever got hollas or compliments, you would react differently.


Pretty women are miserable...
Ugly wome be quiet...



and how often do women compliment men?



†††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††
http://s17.postimg.org/6r7bfqpnz/kyrieglass.jpg - They Call Him Mr. Glass

  

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sixteenstone
Member since Sep 22nd 2002
27996 posts
Sat Mar-02-13 01:44 PM

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25. "oh I see..."
In response to Reply # 19


  

          

you just talking complete nonsense. And it was quite the latter, my husband got chosen by me.

Remember Novemthree's Courage...
visit on the web:www.16stonevintage.com
like on facebook: https://www.facebook.com/16stonevintage
follow on instagram: http://instagram.com/sixteenstone http://instagram.com/vintageblkmags/

  

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FromTheGo
Member since Feb 04th 2003
10606 posts
Sat Mar-02-13 02:03 PM

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27. "lol...you know the game Goldie.."
In response to Reply # 25


  

          

now we can handle this like some...



Nvm



†††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††
http://s17.postimg.org/6r7bfqpnz/kyrieglass.jpg - They Call Him Mr. Glass

  

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bonitaapplebaum71481
Member since Aug 04th 2003
22576 posts
Sat Mar-02-13 11:34 AM

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10. "mad nuff respect..."
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

I'm a fan

and fuck these dudes out here who feel like they gotta say something... that's why I walk like the wind

  

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atruhead
Charter member
85230 posts
Sat Mar-02-13 11:35 AM

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12. "swag."
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

  

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Goldmind
Member since Oct 28th 2004
27522 posts
Sat Mar-02-13 11:58 AM

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21. "I love when OKPs' work makes headlines :-) I though she's in Philly tho"
In response to Reply # 0


          


  

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8-bit
Member since Jan 12th 2010
10841 posts
Sat Mar-02-13 02:44 PM

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29. "I think she moved up to Bk a little while ago"
In response to Reply # 21


  

          

---
http://twitter.com/logicalhood
http://instagram.com/hoodlogic

  

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Brotha Sun
Member since Dec 31st 2009
6779 posts
Sat Mar-02-13 01:37 PM

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24. "Can we have a "how do you approach women" post again? "
In response to Reply # 0


          

I'll talk to pretty much anybody I make eye contact with because I'm a wayne brady ass nigga.


Am I supposed to pretend you dont exist because you have a vagina?


How do I get in where I fit in?




Where do I fit in?





Do I fit in?...



Do I?....Fit in?...



Stress. Kill. Destroy. Stress.

"They used to call me Baby Luke....but now? The whole damn 2 Liiiive Crew."

  

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sixteenstone
Member since Sep 22nd 2002
27996 posts
Sat Mar-02-13 01:45 PM

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26. "just don't shout orders at women on the street and you good"
In response to Reply # 24


  

          

I don't know why men think that's ever a good idea.

Remember Novemthree's Courage...
visit on the web:www.16stonevintage.com
like on facebook: https://www.facebook.com/16stonevintage
follow on instagram: http://instagram.com/sixteenstone http://instagram.com/vintageblkmags/

  

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FromTheGo
Member since Feb 04th 2003
10606 posts
Sat Mar-02-13 02:05 PM

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28. "become an artist and paste compliments along the streets... "
In response to Reply # 24


  

          

...as if you are speaking for all men...


Then you will get the message across



†††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††
http://s17.postimg.org/6r7bfqpnz/kyrieglass.jpg - They Call Him Mr. Glass

  

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Ashley Ayers
Member since Dec 12th 2009
12331 posts
Sat Mar-02-13 09:05 PM

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51. "lmao"
In response to Reply # 28


  

          

  

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J_Stew
Member since Jul 06th 2002
22363 posts
Sat Mar-02-13 03:00 PM

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30. "I don't get dudes who don't understand that when you cold holler"
In response to Reply # 0


          

or try to impose on someone who is minding their own business, that you are basically a telemarketer, yeah you might get a sale once in awhile but you are really just annoying the shit out of people, and when it comes to a woman on the street possibly scaring her.

There is also the probability that someone who does stuff like is isn't even thinking on a level that considers the other persons feelings/reactions.

  

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FromTheGo
Member since Feb 04th 2003
10606 posts
Sat Mar-02-13 03:18 PM

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31. "it aint that serious..."
In response to Reply # 30


  

          

I mean in NY, people don't talk or say hi...


Down south and in Chicago (to a degree) people are nicer.


Some people don't see a hey how are you or what's wrong you should smile more as demeaning and threatening insult.


Forcing people to be cold and antisocial ain't the answer...


...cold hollas are one thing, but that shit is overboard.

†††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††
http://s17.postimg.org/6r7bfqpnz/kyrieglass.jpg - They Call Him Mr. Glass

  

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bonitaapplebaum71481
Member since Aug 04th 2003
22576 posts
Sat Mar-02-13 03:20 PM

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32. "I'm sorry but usually I could give a fuck if someone says hi to me"
In response to Reply # 31


  

          

I don't see it as politeness, I see it as an intrusion...

Hi gives the implication that you wish to have a conversation and out in the street, ain't nobody got time for that....


"im starving for a good conversation most times. quickest way to get in my pants? = good conversation" (c) Peabody

www.twitter.com/bedstuybetty
http://bedstuybetty.tumblr.com/
DROkayplayer: Giving you good puff since May '05

  

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FromTheGo
Member since Feb 04th 2003
10606 posts
Sat Mar-02-13 04:26 PM

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33. "what the hell is wrong with people?"
In response to Reply # 32


  

          

Social media or something is the blame. I don't know what. Maybe the atheists have ruined it all...


You are not that important that people want to intrude in your life.


There are people that say hello and KIM and they don't talk about you at the dinner table or make a blog post about you...


...they just have manners and say hi to people because it's friendly and shit.



intrusion my ass...


†††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††
http://s17.postimg.org/6r7bfqpnz/kyrieglass.jpg - They Call Him Mr. Glass

  

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bonitaapplebaum71481
Member since Aug 04th 2003
22576 posts
Sat Mar-02-13 04:32 PM

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34. "I don't know anyone's intentions and I'm definitely not about the "
In response to Reply # 33


  

          

social media like that so I can't speak on that stuff

but...

I like to be left alone and if that's what I want then it should be respected. Why do you "have" to say hi to me? Pick up the phone, call some mothafucka that you know and say hi to them.

I just don't understand what's so difficult about that. If I have to acknowledge someone, the most I wanna give them is a nod


"im starving for a good conversation most times. quickest way to get in my pants? = good conversation" (c) Peabody

www.twitter.com/bedstuybetty
http://bedstuybetty.tumblr.com/
DROkayplayer: Giving you good puff since May '05

  

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Brotha Sun
Member since Dec 31st 2009
6779 posts
Sat Mar-02-13 04:36 PM

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35. "sig: "I'm starving for a good conversation""
In response to Reply # 34


          

"They used to call me Baby Luke....but now? The whole damn 2 Liiiive Crew."

  

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SeV
Charter member
50255 posts
Sat Mar-02-13 04:49 PM

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37. "the 'I'm def not bout the social media like that' quote along with the l..."
In response to Reply # 35


  

          

to her Twitter and Tumblr is a doozy too


____________

Dallas Heatvricks BACK 2 BACK CHAMPS!!

  

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Noodity
Member since Jul 11th 2011
7859 posts
Sat Mar-02-13 05:08 PM

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42. "while she posts on okp"
In response to Reply # 37


          

*poof*

  

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Brotha Sun
Member since Dec 31st 2009
6779 posts
Sat Mar-02-13 05:47 PM

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44. "Can't be life brah."
In response to Reply # 37


          

"They used to call me Baby Luke....but now? The whole damn 2 Liiiive Crew."

  

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AlBundy
Member since May 27th 2002
9621 posts
Tue Mar-12-13 10:30 PM

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256. "LMAO"
In response to Reply # 37


  

          

-------------------------
“The other dude after me didn’t help my case. It was just like…crazy nigga factory going on.”
Dre makes no apologies for his own eccentricities. “I was young, and searching, trying to find myself,” he says. “Never did.”-- Andre B

  

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bonitaapplebaum71481
Member since Aug 04th 2003
22576 posts
Sat Mar-02-13 05:55 PM

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46. "someone else's quote and it was in reference to niggas here"
In response to Reply # 35


  

          

which btw, y'all still fail at good conversation but that's neither here nor there right now...

everything else? ah, it may be a slight contradiction but I still don't think I'm quite as serious about the social media as other people I know *shrug*

Anywho, just leave chicks on the street alone... like really, what's so difficult to comprehend?


"im starving for a good conversation most times. quickest way to get in my pants? = good conversation" (c) Peabody

www.twitter.com/bedstuybetty
http://bedstuybetty.tumblr.com/
DROkayplayer: Giving you good puff since May '05

  

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cjr2221
Member since Sep 04th 2011
1790 posts
Sat Mar-02-13 04:38 PM

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36. "What does atheism have to do with being friendly?"
In response to Reply # 33


  

          

  

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FromTheGo
Member since Feb 04th 2003
10606 posts
Sat Mar-02-13 04:58 PM

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39. "Lord knows..."
In response to Reply # 36


  

          

†††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††
http://s17.postimg.org/6r7bfqpnz/kyrieglass.jpg - They Call Him Mr. Glass

  

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Teknontheou
Charter member
32724 posts
Sat Mar-02-13 08:09 PM

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49. "Lol "
In response to Reply # 39


  

          

  

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sixteenstone
Member since Sep 22nd 2002
27996 posts
Sat Mar-02-13 05:34 PM

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43. "nobody in NYC has ever said hi to me and kept going"
In response to Reply # 32


  

          

they either want to holler, talk about nothing, or ask you for money.
So no, fuck you and saying hi. If I say nothing, then I'm just a rude bitch.
Oh well. Why you steady trying to talk to a rude person if they ignoring you? Nope, they keep harassing to get a response.

Remember Novemthree's Courage...
visit on the web:www.16stonevintage.com
like on facebook: https://www.facebook.com/16stonevintage
follow on instagram: http://instagram.com/sixteenstone http://instagram.com/vintageblkmags/

  

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FromTheGo
Member since Feb 04th 2003
10606 posts
Sat Mar-02-13 06:15 PM

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47. "that's a small percentage..."
In response to Reply # 43


  

          

...that increases relative to your looks...


Don't say nothing and be a rude bitch to that selected few...



...fuck em, they don't count.


They ESPECIALLY could give a fuck about an art installation or protest piece, they probably was trying to holla at TlynnFaz while she wss pasting them shits up...


Random nigga - ...yo ma, hey beautiful...

T Faz - ...

Random nigga - ...you looking good as hell, you look all exotic looking. Is you Costa Rican or from Soweto??? I bet you ain't know I know about them African places...

T Faz - ...

Random nigga - What that is you putting on that wall? Is that for a movie coming out? You look real sexy like a movie star. You all artistic looking and shit...

T Faz - ...

Random nigga - ( reads art piece ) ...Fuck you then bitch, I ain't want your ugly ass no way...





Them type of niggas ain't catching shrapnel, its the regular dudes getting all types of ricochet bullshit.

†††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††
http://s17.postimg.org/6r7bfqpnz/kyrieglass.jpg - They Call Him Mr. Glass

  

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Teknontheou
Charter member
32724 posts
Sat Mar-02-13 08:11 PM

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50. "Lol @ Soweto."
In response to Reply # 47


  

          

  

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select_from_where
Member since Jan 03rd 2011
4342 posts
Sun Mar-03-13 01:24 PM

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111. "Lolol"
In response to Reply # 47


  

          

  

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thrill
Member since Nov 04th 2006
17071 posts
Sun Mar-03-13 01:27 PM

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114. "that is a great analogy"
In response to Reply # 30


  

          

>or try to impose on someone who is minding their own
>business, that you are basically a telemarketer,

.........................
the little anodynes

  

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SeV
Charter member
50255 posts
Sat Mar-02-13 04:57 PM

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38. "I wish someone would write 'unless you're cute' underneath em"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          


____________

Dallas Heatvricks BACK 2 BACK CHAMPS!!

  

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FromTheGo
Member since Feb 04th 2003
10606 posts
Sat Mar-02-13 04:59 PM

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40. "unless you paying my student loans"
In response to Reply # 38


  

          

†††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††
http://s17.postimg.org/6r7bfqpnz/kyrieglass.jpg - They Call Him Mr. Glass

  

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auset1
Member since Aug 23rd 2002
31116 posts
Wed Mar-13-13 01:14 AM

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264. "cute ones are the worst ones, they feel like they have handed you"
In response to Reply # 38


  

          

a lifetime opportunity..lol
GTFOH



Listen to my Lady Music
http://soundcloud.com/foxy-not-so-brown/sets/lady-music/

Jewelry
http://rachelstewart.bigcartel.com/
Photography
http://www.creativesilence.net/
Tumblr
http://rachelstewartjewelry.tumblr.com/

  

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motherburd
Member since Oct 18th 2012
5657 posts
Sat Mar-02-13 05:05 PM

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41. "i don't like them."
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

  

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lightworks
Member since Feb 17th 2006
5818 posts
Sat Mar-02-13 05:51 PM

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45. "Woah. This should be anchored. Good for her."
In response to Reply # 0


          

  

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J305
Member since Dec 07th 2008
7339 posts
Sat Mar-02-13 07:31 PM

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48. "Nice. Things like this make me miss Brooklyn."
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

peace

J305
___________________

People of color are NOT a minority. Think Global.

Don't Let Hollywood fool you.

http://www.twitter.com/Jtronic
http://www.last.fm/user/Jtronic

  

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Ashley Ayers
Member since Dec 12th 2009
12331 posts
Sat Mar-02-13 09:22 PM

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52. "I wish people could live without any positive actions that are inspired"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

by their looks. Just for say... 6 months. The way people speak to you, their body language, how nicely
people treat you (men AND women) is often (more often than we like to admit) directly relative to how
attractive they find you.

All of this stuff is a package deal. The nice treatment AND the compliments from the opposite sex.
It's going to happen unless it becomes illegal to talk to strangers. If you want to stop it all, feel free to
be stinking and unattractive. Make sure you and your breath smell like pure dog shit, crazy hair, wear a sheet, etc.

You can get rid of the compliments, but you also get rid of the positive interactions that brighten your mood
in a way that you don't even realize. Have you ever been invisible? Even when you tried to be kind?

To find some balance, maybe you could dress down? Wear less makeup? I don't know what to tell you to be
less attractive. You can fight it, but it's not going anywhere. I don't even approach women on the street,
but you expect all men to stop because you're mad about it? Think about it... it's pretty ridiculous.

And you can say "Well I shouldn't have to deal with it!" Ok, well what are you gonna do about besides
be less attractive? That's really all you can do.

  

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bloocollar
Member since Aug 14th 2008
18163 posts
Sat Mar-02-13 09:32 PM

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53. "i wish sexy broads--"
In response to Reply # 52


          

could live in the body of Precious for one week

  

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SeV
Charter member
50255 posts
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54. "I think tyra banks did that on her show one time"
In response to Reply # 53


  

          

she rocked one of those fat suits with big mommas house prosthetics on her face

and rode the subway, went shopping etc in it

her ass was in tears at the end of the day


____________

Dallas Heatvricks BACK 2 BACK CHAMPS!!

  

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ShinobiShaw
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58. "???"
In response to Reply # 52


  

          


http://soundcloud.com/djshinobishaw
http://www.rareformnyc.com
http://twitter.com/DJShinobiShaw
https://twitter.com/RareFormNYC
PSN: ShinobiShaw

"Arm Leg Leg Arm How you doin?" (c)T510

  

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Ashley Ayers
Member since Dec 12th 2009
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Sat Mar-02-13 11:29 PM

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62. "..."
In response to Reply # 58


  

          

  

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Novembersgift
Member since Oct 19th 2004
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Sun Mar-03-13 02:46 AM

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65. "You've missed the point"
In response to Reply # 52


  

          

We've had this post here before though, so I'm not going to go all the way into it. I'll just say it's not a compliment if it makes you feel bad, harassed, unsafe, and annoyed. The answer isn't to change your regular, every day, ain't bothering nobody self cuz you just can't do anything about men wanting to talk to you. How hard is it to just leave people alone when they look like they want to be left alone? How hard is it to just keep it moving if you do say "hello" and don't get a response or get one other than what you wanted? Not hard at all. But no. Instead of making that small change your suggested remedy is for women to work to make themselves less attractive. Guess what? That doesn't work. so-called unattractive women get it. Women in modest clothing (even religious clothing) get it.

You assume that we'd change our tune if we lived in the shoes of a less attractive woman for some time. That's so damn insulting and dismissive of an actual and valid claim. It's illustrative of super-sized serving of privilege.

  

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Ashley Ayers
Member since Dec 12th 2009
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Sun Mar-03-13 05:10 AM

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68. "RE: You've missed MY point"
In response to Reply # 65


  

          

>I'll just say it's not a compliment if
>it makes you feel bad, harassed, unsafe, and annoyed.


I'm with you on "harassed" and "unsafe". Most of the time I agree with "bad"... but "annoyed"... meh.
Hell, even celebrities get annoyed with "I love your work", just because they can't go outside without
hearing it... doesn't mean it's not a compliment.

That said though, let me be clear that I'm not callous to the fact that some dudes overstep boundaries
by being "persistent". I definitely disagree with harassing anyone.


>The answer isn't to change your regular, every day, ain't
>bothering nobody self cuz you just can't do anything about men
>wanting to talk to you. How hard is it to just leave people
>alone when they look like they want to be left alone? How hard
>is it to just keep it moving if you do say "hello" and don't
>get a response or get one other than what you wanted? Not hard
>at all. But no. Instead of making that small change your
>suggested remedy is for women to work to make themselves less
>attractive.


Let me interject here to reiterate that I don't harass women on the street. Idk, maybe you didn't
read that part.


>Guess what? That doesn't work. so-called
>unattractive women get it. Women in modest clothing (even
>religious clothing) get it.
>You assume that we'd change our tune if we lived in the shoes
>of a less attractive woman for some time. That's so damn
>insulting and dismissive of an actual and valid claim. It's
>illustrative of super-sized serving of privilege.


Naw, it's illustrative of the fact that I know women who don't get that kind of attention and am
friends with women who've lost hella weight and can tell you the drastic difference in the amount
of attention they've received. I ain't just talking shit over here.

Anyway though, I said all that about being less attractive to drive home a point... not as a practical solution.
The main idea of that post is in the first couple of sentences. There are two sides to the coin of how
people respond to you because of your looks. The positive side gets left out in these street-holler
condemnations. A day full of positive interactions can lift your mood as much as a lifetime full of negative
ones can completely change the very person you are. People respond to you, in large part, based on your
physical attractiveness... hence coloring the nature of your interactions.

Now, what can be done about it? I don't ask callously, I ask realistically. Unless it's illegal
to speak to people on the street and the street is heavily patrolled by law enforcement, then we have to
realize that the request to stop speaking relies on good faith, the same as the request to stop downloading
music or movies. People do it because they want to, and they don't care how it hurts the artist... or better
yet they ask for autographs, because they might not see them again, and they don't care how the artist feels
(annoying!).

I have a friend who complains about this ALLLL the time, and initially, I sided completely with
women on this, but I don't wish men would stop speaking to yall, I just wish people wouldn't harass or
make anyone feel uncomfortable... this is an age-old concept though. I want world peace, too.
Let's make it happen.

  

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FromTheGo
Member since Feb 04th 2003
10606 posts
Sat Mar-02-13 09:42 PM

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55. "The irony in all of this, is that an artist has a problem with..."
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

...people giving unwanted compliments and being visually stimulated to the point of interjecting what feel is a pleasant accolade drawn from what they interpret the person who crafted their entire "look" as a personal canvas of their feelings and emotions from head to toe and the end result.


Someone who makes art, which is visually judged to a point where it brings up conversation...had a problem with someone bringing up conversation...



every living soul is a masterpiece created by God and skillfully crafted by life and nature and nurture with a pinch of self expression...

We are all works of art...
...the way we dress...
...the style of hair...
...our abstract imperfections...
...our career choices and creativity...


All of it brings up conversation and can be interpreted different ways until the individual artist explains the inspiration of their personal work.




This shit is like a crackhead deciding to smoke rocks outside the door of a popular Starbucks in protest of people who have caffine addictions and waste money on their addictive habits...



†††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††
http://s17.postimg.org/6r7bfqpnz/kyrieglass.jpg - They Call Him Mr. Glass

  

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SeV
Charter member
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56. "DEEP"
In response to Reply # 55


  

          

lol damb lemme leave this post

imma have to make an alias to buy prints from her now
____________

Dallas Heatvricks BACK 2 BACK CHAMPS!!

  

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ShinobiShaw
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59. "CON LA TERRORISTA!!!!!!!!! *starts dancing*"
In response to Reply # 55


  

          


http://soundcloud.com/djshinobishaw
http://www.rareformnyc.com
http://twitter.com/DJShinobiShaw
https://twitter.com/RareFormNYC
PSN: ShinobiShaw

"Arm Leg Leg Arm How you doin?" (c)T510

  

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select_from_where
Member since Jan 03rd 2011
4342 posts
Sun Mar-03-13 01:32 PM

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118. "^^^^^^The megaton star, so astounding^^^^^^^"
In response to Reply # 55


  

          

  

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Monkey Genius
Member since Mar 04th 2005
8114 posts
Sat Mar-02-13 09:55 PM

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57. "Y'all 'happy to be alive' niggas be cheesing at dudes on the street too?"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

Spreading sunny vibes and asking Andrew to show his pearlies? Feeling good about today and telling Marcus bout his shirt?

Since it's just about friendship and the human spirit and shit.

----------------------------------
I have a webcomic: www.watchthecomic.com

My webcomic has a page: www.facebook.com/watchyourheadcomic

  

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Brotha Sun
Member since Dec 31st 2009
6779 posts
Sat Mar-02-13 10:39 PM

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60. "I'm actually nicer to dudes cause I'm afraid I'll say "Hi" to a feminist"
In response to Reply # 57


          

Fuck around and catch a sexual harassment charge or some shit.


"Did he just wave at me? He's so rapey!"


Yeah, I'm only waving at older women. They appreciate a young god that appreciates them.

"They used to call me Baby Luke....but now? The whole damn 2 Liiiive Crew."

  

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Teknontheou
Charter member
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Sat Mar-02-13 10:42 PM

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61. "Pretty much."
In response to Reply # 60


  

          

  

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jimaveli
Charter member
6696 posts
Sun Mar-03-13 11:46 AM

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75. "*claps to this*"
In response to Reply # 60


  

          

Older women have felt the love that they got as younger women slip away. They miss the attention they used to take for granted. They assumed that the money that is being viewed as attractive would always keep flowing. It doesn't. And they know it now. So they savor/appreciate/are more willing to take in any appreciation that comes their way. The world would be better if everyone saw it that way before they got older.

Instead, seemingly EVERYTHING a dude does in reference to a woman is labelled creepy, rapey, extra, etcetera in some circles. In a world where there appears TO ME to be more generally attractive women than ever, cats are damn near shunned for hollering in any way, shape, or form. I weep for young cats sometimes.

Jimaveli

>Fuck around and catch a sexual harassment charge or some
>shit.
>
>
>"Did he just wave at me? He's so rapey!"
>
>
>Yeah, I'm only waving at older women. They appreciate a young
>god that appreciates them.

  

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Goldmind
Member since Oct 28th 2004
27522 posts
Sun Mar-03-13 12:00 AM

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63. "Right? I don't remember the last time I received a random "Good morning""
In response to Reply # 57


          

or "Why don't you smile?" from a hetero man on the streets of NYC. Well, it happened once while scoping out apartments in Crown Heights; a random old black man strolled by and told me what to do with my mouth, being that "it's a beautiful day!"

But yeah, as fly and desirable as I am, I don't experience these random greetings and compliments every day, and we all know why.

  

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Noodity
Member since Jul 11th 2011
7859 posts
Sun Mar-03-13 12:11 AM

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64. "how you doin goldmind?"
In response to Reply # 63


          

Beautiful weather isn't it?

*poof*

  

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Peabody
Member since Jan 18th 2011
10296 posts
Sun Mar-03-13 05:17 PM

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217. "lmao!!! :D"
In response to Reply # 57


  

          

NM

  

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chillinCHiEF
Charter member
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Tue Mar-12-13 11:34 PM

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258. "lmao"
In response to Reply # 57


  

          

  

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Novembersgift
Member since Oct 19th 2004
16972 posts
Sun Mar-03-13 02:56 AM

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66. "what folks seem to be missing is the reason COMPLIMENTS is in quotes"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

because they're not compliments to some people. Some of us truly feel harassed, anxious, frustrated, unsafe, and fucking annoyed by your so-called compliments. That's what this is about...

I don't understand why people never hear someone's honest and true testimony about shit they've actually experienced in life then hear others cosign it with their own experiences and stories, and say, "While that hasn't been my experience I hear you and that's terrible. We should do XYZ to help make sure that doesn't keep happening, especially because it makes it harder for everyone to communicate and feel safe, happy." Not verbatim, but go for it if you like.

Instead it's all defensive and accusatory: You like that shit. If you really knew what you were talking about you wouldn't want what you say you want. Your feelings are invalid. Your lived experiences are false. Why won't you let me talk to you how I want? Why are you saying that I'm a bad guy when I just appreciate your beauty? Why won't you make yourself less attractive since I clearly cannot control my actions? I don't care what you say about how people approach you or talk to you, I'm doing what I think you want because I know what's best. You're just an angry person and I don't have to listen to you. I was taught to behave this way and I can never change. You wouldn't feel this way if the guy was cute so the entire argument is nullified. yadda yadda yadda.

  

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bloocollar
Member since Aug 14th 2008
18163 posts
Sun Mar-03-13 11:48 AM

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76. "such a terrible problem!!!--"
In response to Reply # 66


          

lets devote alot of time and energy to how you interpret compliments

nevermind that you stuffed yourself into those leggings and titty top....

you should only get attention from those you want it from

  

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Below The Mason Dixon
Member since Oct 11th 2011
18159 posts
Sun Mar-03-13 11:53 AM

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79. "I hate you but you are SO on the money with this response."
In response to Reply # 76


  

          

Its like women don't even breath the same air or live on the same planet sometimes.

"Give a woman the moon, bitch will want another moon to go with it"

(C) My Nigga Randall

  

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bloocollar
Member since Aug 14th 2008
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Sun Mar-03-13 12:21 PM

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83. "??? why you hate me fam?"
In response to Reply # 79


          

lol

  

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Below The Mason Dixon
Member since Oct 11th 2011
18159 posts
Sun Mar-03-13 12:56 PM

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94. "Hate is a strong word. your stance on monogamy is an issue for me."
In response to Reply # 83


  

          

other than that. when it comes to shit like this you speak the truth like 100% of the time and you get attacked for it.

"Give a woman the moon, bitch will want another moon to go with it"

(C) My Nigga Randall

  

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Novembersgift
Member since Oct 19th 2004
16972 posts
Sun Mar-03-13 12:24 PM

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84. "Oh, you sure told me."
In response to Reply # 76


  

          

>lets devote alot of time and energy to how you interpret
>compliments

I don't think it takes a lot of time and energy to think about how you interact with other people. You likely take the time to say excuse me when moving through a crowded space without thinking about it. I bet it takes more energy and thought to think about how to say something about someone's ass than it does to not say shit at all. But what's most important here is the fact that you're still talking about COMPLIMENTS when the first thing I said is that the problem is you (collective you) don't understand that a lot of this type of communication is not a compliment at all.

>nevermind that you stuffed yourself into those leggings and
>titty top....

Again, here's an example of someone trying to place the onus on women for what they wear instead of taking a modicum of responsibility for their own actions. I'm telling you that it doesn't matter what you wear -- you can be "stuffed in leggings and titty top" or covered head to toe in hijab or in sweats and a hoodie with your hair wrapped in a scarf. So where does the responsibility lie in those cases? Just stay inside then, eh? Don't ever suggest that someone exercise some thought and control over what they say to you just like you suggest women exercise thought and control over what they wear. Got it.

>you should only get attention from those you want it from
Thanks for illustrating my point. I clearly listed this retort as one of the defensive and accusatory ones hurled at women who honestly share about their experiences with street harassment. +100 for playing right along.

fucking *sigh*

  

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bloocollar
Member since Aug 14th 2008
18163 posts
Sun Mar-03-13 12:40 PM

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87. "you look beautiful in your Avatar picture--"
In response to Reply # 84


          

and thats just the truth

feel free to take offense to my compliment and tell me to fuck myself

  

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Novembersgift
Member since Oct 19th 2004
16972 posts
Sun Mar-03-13 12:46 PM

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91. "I don't see why you have to be that way"
In response to Reply # 87


  

          

There was zero point to what you just said other than to be a dick. If you're trying to make the point that I can't take any compliment, you're arguing by yourself because that was never my stance. But you know... keep on telling me! *snaps*

  

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FromTheGo
Member since Feb 04th 2003
10606 posts
Sun Mar-03-13 12:45 PM

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90. "nice avy"
In response to Reply # 84


  

          

Damn!


†††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††
http://s17.postimg.org/6r7bfqpnz/kyrieglass.jpg - They Call Him Mr. Glass

  

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bloocollar
Member since Aug 14th 2008
18163 posts
Sun Mar-03-13 01:21 PM

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109. "How DARE you!!!--"
In response to Reply # 90


          

leave that young woman alone!

  

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Novembersgift
Member since Oct 19th 2004
16972 posts
Sun Mar-03-13 01:27 PM

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113. "It's notable how you address him and not me"
In response to Reply # 109


  

          

You are riding for this "joke" right now but it's falling flat since we're on a message board and you're not in my space. In my face. Between me and the subway. Between me and my home. It's not night. It's not early morning. You're not interrupting my thoughts, my book, my song, my walk, my workout, my conversation. You're trying to make this out to be the same thing but it's not.

  

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Below The Mason Dixon
Member since Oct 11th 2011
18159 posts
Sun Mar-03-13 01:52 PM

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127. "So wait YOU get street harassed like THAT in NYC."
In response to Reply # 113


  

          

I ain't saying you ain't pretty but...

CMON MAN

"Give a woman the moon, bitch will want another moon to go with it"

(C) My Nigga Randall

  

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Novembersgift
Member since Oct 19th 2004
16972 posts
Sun Mar-03-13 02:20 PM

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139. "ignoring your slight shade..."
In response to Reply # 127
Sun Mar-03-13 02:20 PM by Novembersgift

  

          

It's interesting that you think street harassment is limited to who the initiator thinks is level 10 foine. Just being a woman is enough. Being a woman whose face is covered or even a woman who is with another woman (gay) is subject to it. But that goes to show that you think it's just some friendly extension of compliment and good will... an expression of how much people appreciate a woman's looks. It's not.

  

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MiracleRic
Member since Oct 21st 2002
45200 posts
Fri Apr-25-14 11:18 AM

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271. "then limit this to NY"
In response to Reply # 139


  

          

it happens everywhere but these savages is a loud fucking minority

it sucks that they can make you feel unsafe and all that but it's still weird that you expect everyone to make what seems unreasonable to us but reasonable to you concessions based on how you/yall perceive things

i man can be equally as threatening without being a dick...but it's the perception not the reality

man is woman's biggest threat period but it's not healthy to assume that face should bleed into every male-female interaction

Let me sport my Air Hyperbole 2010s in peace. (c) ansomble

Building repetoires (c) spm since 1983

  

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select_from_where
Member since Jan 03rd 2011
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Sun Mar-03-13 01:37 PM

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120. "Damn these dudes dropping gems from all over the court "
In response to Reply # 76


  

          

  

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Crucian1
Member since Oct 04th 2002
32178 posts
Sun Mar-03-13 02:59 AM

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67. "That needs to be put in tshirts stat"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

  

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Ashley Ayers
Member since Dec 12th 2009
12331 posts
Sun Mar-03-13 05:13 AM

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69. "That would be dope."
In response to Reply # 67


  

          

But then it would be women changing how they dress as a result of these guys, and they've said
they shouldn't have to do that.

I'm kidding


kinda



The way some of these niggas act, I wouldn't be surprised if they took a different harassment angle.
"OH I can't tell you to smile huh? Why, beautiful? Why you don't like to smile?"

  

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motherburd
Member since Oct 18th 2012
5657 posts
Sun Mar-03-13 11:33 AM

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71. "i think it works better as a shirt so that"
In response to Reply # 67


  

          

she's not speaking for everyone but instead shirt wearer is speaking for themselves.

  

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FromTheGo
Member since Feb 04th 2003
10606 posts
Sun Mar-03-13 12:35 PM

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86. "now this is something i agree with."
In response to Reply # 71


  

          


†††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††
http://s17.postimg.org/6r7bfqpnz/kyrieglass.jpg - They Call Him Mr. Glass

  

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Binlahab
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Sun Mar-03-13 11:34 AM

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72. "she could get paid for real nm"
In response to Reply # 67


  

          


do or die

  

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TLynnFaz
Member since Apr 07th 2004
10185 posts
Sun Mar-03-13 12:18 PM

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82. "stoptellingwomentosmile.bigcartel.com"
In response to Reply # 67


          

sold out. bout to start takin pre-orders.

anyway. outside of what novembersgift said in #66, i don't have much else to say.

*bankhead bounces up out of this fuckery*

  

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Goldmind
Member since Oct 28th 2004
27522 posts
Sun Mar-03-13 01:06 PM

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100. "LOL. Werk!!"
In response to Reply # 82


          

>sold out. bout to start takin pre-orders.
>
>anyway. outside of what novembersgift said in #66, i don't
>have much else to say.
>
>*bankhead bounces up out of this fuckery*
>


  

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potlikker
Member since Jan 03rd 2009
509 posts
Sun Mar-03-13 01:14 PM

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103. "awesome, thanks!"
In response to Reply # 82


  

          

  

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bloocollar
Member since Aug 14th 2008
18163 posts
Sun Mar-03-13 01:35 PM

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119. "does that tee come in baby doll sizes?--"
In response to Reply # 82


          

my wife has big tittys and we're starting to get into the whole hipster irony thing

  

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jimaveli
Charter member
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Sun Mar-03-13 11:26 AM

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70. "the world is a wild place..."
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

Too many people want to give away things that other people would love to have. Trash and treasure to some extent...

Positive attention based on physical appearance is a great example of what I mean. It ain't right, but...for interactions with most people, it is real...

Ask ANY female who has 'changed' dramatically for the worse physically over the years how her attention and level of treatment in life has changed. I guarantee that most of them would admit under the right circumstances that they miss any positive attention associated with their appearance. It gets written off as guys liking young girls. The truth: the average young girl is GOOD-LOOKING! Of course most PEOPLE are gonna find them attractive!

To be personal:

As a random black dude in Houston, I have weighed anywhere between 185 and 260 during my adult life. And I can report to you that the 185 lb. days beat the fuck out the 260 lb. days.

I don't have to tell you how 185 happens, but just in-case: rare encounters with cookies/drive-through speakers/crunchy fried stuff/etc, drinking water and protein shakes instead of Irish Carbombs, working out like 5-6x a week, preparing for a run at hollering at as many women as I could before I got 'old' (mid-30s) and settled down, etc'.

How does the same guy end up weighing 260? Well...recurring groin and knee injuries, cheetos/cookies/crunchy shit/drinking, WORK, stress/life drama, getting loved up and laying on the couch 'watching movies' more than standing up and running, negligence, etc.

I weigh 225 after dropping about 10 lbs in the last couple months. 190-200 is the aim. I'll do it.

But to be clear, I'll repeat...the 185 lb. days beat the fuck out the 260 lb. days. The volume of 'I think she wants this DIIIIICK' smiles/looks/comments that I could hear in the distance, the general helpfulness in public situations...ESPECIALLY clothing stores in the mall...females of all sizes, ages, and shapes would have me trying on multiple shits just to see a nigga in snug shirts. They'd ask me 'offensive' questions, smile and laugh at nearly everything I said like I was Raw-era Eddie (a nigga got jokes, but c'mon), touch me in situations and places where touching wasn't even remotely necessary, etc.

Simply put y'all, THAT SHIT WAS GREAT! Especially since I had been a fat ass before (and a couple times after). I felt like I had entered the Contra code on life! And I was NEVER like 'with all this attention, I don't feel like my body is mine..and don't call me honey'. I was more on some LSG 'my body all over yo body, babe!' steez even when I wasn't gonna holla most of the time. I was sponsoring Crest and Colgate during those days...and I still do whenever any chick comes at me as something other than 'sir'.

So, from that frame of reference, I release a statement to all women who receive hollers: while I can appreciate the gender differences, wanting to feel safe, dudes being corny or not letting it go being annoying, etc....you aren't a victim! Aka take the fucking compliments and calm down. Don't let that day come that you aren't getting hollered at before you appreciate the shit for what it is! Respond positively when you are interested or TRY to let cats down easy and get outta there when you aren't! It isn't a damn mountain to climb or some insurmountable issue in random day-to-day encounters! And if it is, the shit is an ant hill compared to being fat/unattractive/disabled/deformed every day.

Jimaveli

>Isn't she any okay?
>
>
>http://cityroom.blogs.nytimes.com/2013/03/01/using-walls-to-talk-back-to-unwelcome-compliments/?smid=fb-share
>
>Using Walls to Talk Back to Unwelcome ‘Compliments’
>By JULIE TURKEWITZ
>Posters on a wall on Tompkins Avenue in Bedford-Stuyvesant,
>Brooklyn, try to make the point that some comments to women
>aren't welcome. “These things make you feel like your body
>isn’t yours,” the artist says.Robert Stolarik for The New York
>Times Posters on a wall on Tompkins Avenue in
>Bedford-Stuyvesant, Brooklyn, try to make the point that some
>comments to women aren’t welcome. “These things make you feel
>like your body isn’t yours,” the artist says.
>
>Shorty. Sweetie. Sweetheart. Baby. Boo. If you’re a woman,
>you’ve probably heard it.
>
>If you were to respond, what would you say?
>
>Last fall, Tatyana Fazlalizadeh began replying — through her
>art — to the dozens of men who approached her in public each
>week. As night fell, she slipped out of her Bedford-Stuyvesant
>apartment armed with a bottle of wheat paste, a couple of
>posters and a paintbrush, and began to pepper Brooklyn with
>messages:
>
>“My name is not Baby.” “Women are not seeking your
>validation.” “Stop telling women to smile.”
>
>Since September, Ms. Fazlalizadeh has plastered walls in
>Bedford-Stuyvesant, Bushwick, Clinton Hill and Williamsburg.
>As winter came and night temperatures dropped, though, she
>retired her paintbrush. “The wheat paste starts to freeze
>before it actually dries,” she said. “So the paper wasn’t
>holding.”
>
>But as slightly warmer weather has returned, so have the
>messages. She recently tossed up two posters on the corner of
>Tompkins Avenue and Halsey Street in Bedford-Stuyvesant. And
>Ms. Fazlalizadeh, 27, an Oklahoma-born oil painter,
>illustrator and after-school art teacher, was headed back out
>Friday night. “I’d like them to be out in Manhattan
>somewhere,” she said.
>
>The project grew out of a desire to explain that for many
>women, “hey sweetums” or “let’s see that smile” isn’t a
>compliment. “These things make you feel like your body isn’t
>yours,” she said.
>
>Of course, her target audience may still need convincing. On
>Friday afternoon, Andrés Carlos, 50, stood by the freshly
>pasted posters on Tompkins Avenue. “A woman likes nothing more
>than being told she is beautiful,” he said. “For me, this is
>ridiculous.”
>
>A friend of his, Richard Johnson, 29, passed by. Mr. Johnson
>is married, and no longer calls at women on the street. But he
>did his share of aggressive flirtation. Did women respond
>negatively? “Sometimes,” he said. Did he stop? “No,” he said.
>“I’m persistent.”
>--------
><--------- my cousin
>www.richardlouissaint.com
>photobloggin' it:
>http://blog.richardlouissaint.com

  

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Brotha Sun
Member since Dec 31st 2009
6779 posts
Sun Mar-03-13 11:44 AM

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74. "Oh god....what have you done.....please...please edit. "
In response to Reply # 70


          

They're coming for you.

"They used to call me Baby Luke....but now? The whole damn 2 Liiiive Crew."

  

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jimaveli
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Sun Mar-03-13 11:53 AM

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78. "RE: Oh god....what have you done.....please...please edit. "
In response to Reply # 74


  

          

>They're coming for you.

http://images.amazon.com/images/P/B0000004UM.01._SCLZZZZZZZ_.jpg

No weapons formed. I got deer spray too.

  

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Novembersgift
Member since Oct 19th 2004
16972 posts
Sun Mar-03-13 12:45 PM

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88. "RE: the world is a wild place..."
In response to Reply # 70


  

          

>As a random black dude in Houston, I have weighed anywhere
>between 185 and 260 during my adult life. And I can report to
>you that the 185 lb. days beat the fuck out the 260 lb. days.

Congrats on your weight loss and feeling better about yourself. Congrats on the validation you received from women. No one is saying it's not nice to be appreciated for how you look (along with other attributes and qualities you bring to the table). So no bullshit, applause for you.

>Simply put y'all, THAT SHIT WAS GREAT! Especially since I had
>been a fat ass before (and a couple times after). I felt like
>I had entered the Contra code on life! And I was NEVER like
>'with all this attention, I don't feel like my body is
>mine..and don't call me honey'. I was more on some LSG 'my
>body all over yo body, babe!' steez even when I wasn't gonna
>holla most of the time. I was sponsoring Crest and Colgate
>during those days...and I still do whenever any chick comes at
>me as something other than 'sir'.

No doubt about it, there are a lot of people (male and female) who actively seek attention based upon their appearance including people looking at them a certain way on the street or uninvited comments, "hollers", "compliments", etc. Good for them. I don't know if that's reason enough to disregard the wishes of the others who do not like that sort of thing. It's really not that hard to tell the difference between these people either.

>So, from that frame of reference, I release a statement to all
>women who receive hollers: while I can appreciate the gender
>differences, wanting to feel safe, dudes being corny or not
>letting it go being annoying, etc....you aren't a victim! Aka
>take the fucking compliments and calm down. Don't let that day
>come that you aren't getting hollered at before you appreciate
>the shit for what it is! Respond positively when you are
>interested or TRY to let cats down easy and get outta there
>when you aren't! It isn't a damn mountain to climb or some
>insurmountable issue in random day-to-day encounters! And if
>it is, the shit is an ant hill compared to being
>fat/unattractive/disabled/deformed every day.

What you failed to include or recognize is that you live and walk with the veil of male privilege. Asserting that women aren't victims is wholly incorrect. I can tell you myself that I have felt victimized my this kind of thing since I was a child... a time when I should have felt at least a little bit insulated. Women, particularly black women, have been dealing with this kind of gaze and the resulting discomfort for most of our lives. Men have the privilege of getting approached by women without carrying the historical baggage of women collectively and her personal emotional trauma from years of being made to feel that her body is not her own, that the person who approaches in a friendly way may be there to hurt you, etc. It's not looking at the whole picture when you simply say you feel great to receive this "validation" of your hard work in the gym and others should just quit being the victim. Can you see how that ignores a whole bunch of reality? Can you see how that trivializes people's real experiences?

  

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jimaveli
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Sun Mar-03-13 05:45 PM

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224. "RE: the world is a wild place..."
In response to Reply # 88


  

          

>What you failed to include or recognize is that you live and
>walk with the veil of male privilege. Asserting that women
>aren't victims is wholly incorrect. I can tell you myself that
>I have felt victimized my this kind of thing since I was a
>child... a time when I should have felt at least a little bit
>insulated. Women, particularly black women, have been dealing
>with this kind of gaze and the resulting discomfort for most
>of our lives. Men have the privilege of getting approached by
>women without carrying the historical baggage of women
>collectively and her personal emotional trauma from years of
>being made to feel that her body is not her own, that the
>person who approaches in a friendly way may be there to hurt
>you, etc. It's not looking at the whole picture when you
>simply say you feel great to receive this "validation" of your
>hard work in the gym and others should just quit being the
>victim. Can you see how that ignores a whole bunch of reality?
>Can you see how that trivializes people's real experiences?

I can on both counts, but I have questions...what is the end game? What is the resolution for the individual woman and women in general? How can guys respond appropriately to their nature of appreciating women they find physically attractive? Yes...hound-dogging CAN go too far and put a hurt on individual women and women in general. And dudes staring at you could be less than awesome for a lot of reasons. I got it. BUT there's women who have developed a thick enough skin to where they don't worry about that when it happens because they are at a certain place with themselves to not sweat it, etc. And we all know about the ones who don't play that when you come at them in an out of bounds way. I get off of the train when people act like all hollering is out of bounds! And yes...I get that some women go through lengths to take attention away from themselves. But at what cost? And...again...what is the true desire here? No hollering? No looking? Better, more tasteful hollering?

And a brief (yeah right) thing on historical baggage..I struggle with that, because it exists in many different people for different reasons. Aka that can't be the thing that kills women off about themselves in these situations. At some point everyone has to pack light on historical baggage, learn how to understand and manage their real individual baggage, and go forward living their lives towards their goals with their family and friends in tow HOPEFULLY supporting and contributing. That's a heavy thing to get into without understanding your angle though...I'm interested in your thoughts here..

Jimaveli

  

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Binlahab
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Sun Mar-03-13 11:39 AM

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73. "lotta dudes minds will change re street harrassment "
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

when they have daughters

im not into reactive shit. its out there, it happens...now how can we equip our daughters, wives, sisters, etc to combat it?

saying 'hey dudes! police yourselves!' aint gonna cut it

the guys here aint the ones catcalling & demanding chicks smile & shit.

nor are we/they gonna be the ones to approach dudes on the street & start lecturing OTHER men on the desultory effects of THEM catcalling

yes we need to raise the respect level from men to women. established.

but until that pie in the sky perfect fantasy land world actually materializes...what do we do NOW to keep our girls from growing up in a world where they literally feel unsafe walking home?

must everyone walk in packs? gotta carry mace? all of em learn judo or MMA? what?

my lil girl is 5 almost 6, she'll be a very pretty young lady & is already very cognizant of "fitting in"; "being liked" etc...to the point where she'll allow other kids (boys & girls) to bite or hit her or whatever w/o repercussions other then "i told the teacher"

sorry to say...uh, that telling the teacher shit aint cutting it.

you sock that bastard kid in their gatdamn mouth.

NOBODY! gets to touch you or hit or kick or even really say shit to you, w/o repercussions. fuck that.

thats my strategy. i wanna hear someone elses.


do or die

  

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motherburd
Member since Oct 18th 2012
5657 posts
Sun Mar-03-13 11:51 AM

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77. "as far as cat calling goes"
In response to Reply # 73


  

          

buy her some headphones.

  

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Binlahab
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Sun Mar-03-13 12:00 PM

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80. "then how will she hear the random rapist/killer"
In response to Reply # 77


  

          

coming up behind her, to drag her off in some bushes somewhere to do god knows what?

naw, she gotta be wary, on her toes & prepared to fight for her life

inflict damage on these niggas, she aint going out like _________ victim chick on law & order SVU


do or die

  

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motherburd
Member since Oct 18th 2012
5657 posts
Sun Mar-03-13 12:01 PM

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81. "niggas ain't catcalling at midnight"
In response to Reply # 80
Sun Mar-03-13 12:03 PM by motherburd

  

          

but seriously tho
the best thing to do is not be in sketchy places alone
i live in ny and ride the subway every where
with headphones on
it's not that scary as long as you're not in the scary ass places

  

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Novembersgift
Member since Oct 19th 2004
16972 posts
Sun Mar-03-13 12:57 PM

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95. "niggas DO catcall at midnight"
In response to Reply # 81


  

          

When you're by yourself. In the dark. Walking quickly to get home. By all outward appearance you look like you probably don't want to be talked to and a nigga will be like "I like the way you walk" or some shit. I once had a dude walk up on me and try to whisper in my ear late at night... in the dark... randomly... on the sidewalk. I was like "ARE YOU SERIOUS?!"

Re: sketchy places... that'd make sense if we could draw a sharp line between safe space and unsafe space. Unfortunately we cannot. I mean, while we might know where the "hood" is and avoid it. While we may not stop to adjust our stockings in alleyways or whatever, it's not cut and dry. I think my block is pretty safe... it's where I rest my head. But a woman got raped on a Sunday morning last week about two blocks away.

  

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motherburd
Member since Oct 18th 2012
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Sun Mar-03-13 01:00 PM

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97. ""but no seriously" denotes that that was a joke."
In response to Reply # 95
Sun Mar-03-13 01:02 PM by motherburd

  

          

i would actually advice that his daughter not be out alone at midnight.

  

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Novembersgift
Member since Oct 19th 2004
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Sun Mar-03-13 01:05 PM

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99. "I'm guessing the rest wasn't a joke though?"
In response to Reply # 97


  

          

The part about just avoiding sketchy places? I'm really asking since it appears I missed your earlier joke.

  

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motherburd
Member since Oct 18th 2012
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Sun Mar-03-13 01:20 PM

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107. "avoiding sketchy places part was not a joke"
In response to Reply # 99


  

          

aside from taking self defense which bin already brought up
the best thing for her to do is avoid sketchy places (to avoid getting raped)
to avoid getting catcalled she'd have to either live in the suburbs
where she has to drive everywhere or become a recluse

  

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Novembersgift
Member since Oct 19th 2004
16972 posts
Sun Mar-03-13 01:23 PM

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110. "ok, yeah"
In response to Reply # 107


  

          

that's what I was addressing mainly, the part about avoiding rape by avoiding sketchy places. I've never been raped in a sketchy place. People get raped in their own homes by people they know so... *shrug*

  

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motherburd
Member since Oct 18th 2012
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Sun Mar-03-13 01:27 PM

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115. "*sigh* i know this ma'am but this post and his reply"
In response to Reply # 110


  

          

was about being out and about on the street
that's what i was addressing
i am aware that most rapes occur between people who know one another etc

but like niggas just snatching women up and raping 'em (which still happens in nyc)
usually doesn't happen in well lit places where there are a lot of people.

  

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Novembersgift
Member since Oct 19th 2004
16972 posts
Sun Mar-03-13 02:24 PM

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144. "i'm not coming for you"
In response to Reply # 115


  

          

I don't know what you do or don't know about rape or safe spaces and I'm not commenting on that.

I just need it to be said here somewhere that rape happens everywhere. That's why I mentioned the rape that happened in my neighborhood in the daytime on a sunday. I don't live in a sketchy area. So while we like to think that bad things only happen in places we can neatly ID as bad, that's sadly not the case.

Sorry not sorry I'm still shaken by the proximity and brazen nature of this recent attack. Again, I can't just let what might be a nugget of misinformation sit alone without adding a counterpoint.

  

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motherburd
Member since Oct 18th 2012
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Sun Mar-03-13 02:46 PM

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159. "the only way to avoid having anything happen to you"
In response to Reply # 144


  

          

is to just not be alive
He was asking what are some things she can do
- self defense classes
- avoid fucked up sketchy places
- possibly rock headphones to avoid convo with ppl (they dont have to be playimg music if being alert is an issue)
Can things happen to you in non sketchy places? Of course
but I dont see how my suggestions are wrong

Im sorry you were attacked

  

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blackrussian
Member since Oct 17th 2010
6498 posts
Sun Mar-03-13 06:09 PM

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226. ":("
In response to Reply # 159


  

          

>the only way to avoid having anything happen to you
>is to just not be alive

sometimes it certainly feels that way

  

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Novembersgift
Member since Oct 19th 2004
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Sun Mar-03-13 12:51 PM

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92. "I think it's more about empowering women"
In response to Reply # 73


  

          

than trying to change male behavior. I'm speaking of the artwork specifically but Taty can certainly correct me if she wishes.
When I first saw what she was doing a while back, I was like yes... that's exactly what I was thinking. That's exactly what I work for, what I advocate. It was like another voice in our corner, another voice in the chorus. It's empowering and strengthening. If someone walks past one of those signs and is like "yeah, I'm not alone. I don't deserve this. I don't need this" then great. I think something has been accomplished. Of course it's even better if a dude walks by and has some aha moment but I'll settle for him just thinking for a moment, "hmm, what could be wrong with telling a woman to smile?" There are many ways to spark a conversation and this is one of them. Not every debate results in one party changing their mind (as nearly every post on OKP can attest) but I think there's value in displaying the various viewpoints.
To me, this artwork is one of many ways to place this viewpoint into the public discourse. The conversation is happening. We're having it now here. It's happening in groups and between couples. Among friends. On Twitter. On Tumblr. etc.

  

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thrill
Member since Nov 04th 2006
17071 posts
Sun Mar-03-13 01:07 PM

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101. "RE: lotta dudes minds will change re street harrassment "
In response to Reply # 73


  

          


>nor are we/they gonna be the ones to approach dudes on the
>street & start lecturing OTHER men on the desultory effects of
>THEM catcalling

you don't need to lecture to communicate disapproval, an eye-roll or a tilt of the head can do the job if done right. most men who are being harassment think it's generally accepted, so it's important to say it's not.

a couple of times in my life, men have told other men to "leave the girl alone" when my own grim indifference wasn't effective enough.

.........................
the little anodynes

  

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Teknontheou
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Sun Mar-03-13 01:31 PM

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117. "Dude has to be ready to fight that cat if he's gonna go that"
In response to Reply # 101
Sun Mar-03-13 01:32 PM by Teknontheou

  

          

route, though.

As a man, you *always* have to be ready to fight another strange man if you're going to reprimand him publicly.

  

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thrill
Member since Nov 04th 2006
17071 posts
Sun Mar-03-13 01:39 PM

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122. "ok, drama queen"
In response to Reply # 117


  

          

.........................
the little anodynes

  

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Teknontheou
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Sun Mar-03-13 01:42 PM

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124. "Lol, if only I were fabricating that."
In response to Reply # 122


  

          

  

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morpheme
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Sun Mar-03-13 02:03 PM

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131. "i dig what you're saying..."
In response to Reply # 73


  

          

but peep this?

you are teaching your daughter still, reactionary tactics
because in the reality?
most of us are walking "unapproachable".
headphones on
eyes on phones, in tablets
scowls on faces
covered.

and we get it.

we get it in groups.

in the daytime.

we get it from dudes who were told if a woman is woman enough to hit you, she's woman enough to get hit back.

we inform law enforcement and security guards after the fact.

sometimes we shoot they ass.

sometimes we jap the hell out.

sometimes we run.

like, you cannot raise a person not to be harrassed by other people. you can teach them how to respond. the most eloquent pugilist you let out your door is open to it.

_____________
Kamikaze Genes
____________♌♀
goddess; small g.

  

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bloocollar
Member since Aug 14th 2008
18163 posts
Sun Mar-03-13 12:26 PM

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85. "so lets see, after we get rid of the--"
In response to Reply # 0


          

telling women to smile problem, which one will we tackle next?

I think it should be the "stop looking at titty's even though theyre pushed together and exposed" problem

clear off tlynnfaz, I'm leading that movement!

  

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morpheme
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93. "i don't get what you're saying..."
In response to Reply # 85


  

          

but regarding telling someone to smile
it's not the sentiment as possibly intended
{and what is the purpose behind it? telling me to smile?}
moreso than how it is received.

as tlyn said in the swipe, it's as if your body isn't your own. we don't know one another, and yet you're inserting yourself in my sphere and telling me to do ANYTHING. i'm not smiling. that's it. it doesn't need to be cultivated or coaxed out of me. i am AWARE. and i think that's what's setting off little neurons in us. you're trying to make me unaware somehow, disarm me. that's how i feel. even if i do smile. that you're trying to take me out of my zone.
now, is your goal only for a second so you in turn can smile at your success?
is it because you are looking to foray into more of my time? i mean, you did just give me my smile back. least i could do is let a brother walk me to the bus.

mind you

we didn't solicit any of that.

we did not approach you.
we did not acknowledge you if we were aware of you.
we left y'all the fuck alone.
let you continue on in your zone.

so it's going to take you, rather than being expected to empathize {tho i don't think this is the surest, deftest route}, to instead listen and HEAR what we are asking you to not do. you might not ever "get it", doesn't make it any less vital for it to cease.


and really
YOU ALL KNOW the women who are out there manifesting attention. and 9/10 on the low side, the women you all are catcalling are not those women.

  

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bloocollar
Member since Aug 14th 2008
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Sun Mar-03-13 01:38 PM

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121. "hey im agreeing with you--"
In response to Reply # 93


          

im one of the only black men at my job

not to mention im muscular and got long locs

and i feel like all these white folks want me to smile so i dont scare them

its my body corporate America!!

  

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morpheme
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89. "paste them up around the grade schools."
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

^^^that's my opine.^^^


this shit starts EARLY.
i remember being in elementary school
and there being "freaky friday"
and this was the day that when you were on the playground {perhaps in a class line en route to different classroom} boys would brazenly come and grab or "smoosh" your booty. i'm talking like 3rd or 4th grade.
that's 8-9 years old.

that's telling me in 2 years my son will be at the behest of images {and these are mostly social} that will inform him to assault chicks. to grab girls' behinds and in some cases their breasts. I WILL NOT ACCEPT THAT SHIT!!! do you know how many times i've had a boy in ELEMENTARY school grab my breasts? as i got older {middle school, high school} the approaches were different. it became sinewy, more verbal.

this is really leading me to believe little boys are being affected on a serious level where they will enact such violations so aggressively pre-adolescence. and something echoes in my heart that this can be combatted. men don't say those types of things to me as they once did when i was a teen. i get stop attempts, i get hollas, the faces, the gestures. but is this behaviour something men grow into and then grow out of or "cultivate"? is it foisted upon them and then there is a paradigm shift and it becomes more righteous, somehow?
are they receiving cues from us that backs them away from that behaviour, yet in turn focuses them on the younger of us who haven't had that self-worthy fully actualized. they are not mature.

i don't even know if this is about sex. or mating. or even one's attractiveness. but it has permeated US. women are not feeling safe around the men, the men feel as tho they cannot assert themselves to the women in any way positively. we NEED to be able to be interactive with one another. and it's going to take a nation, of my brothers to combat this.
i just don't know that at it's genesis it's solely upon the men THEN. children have 2 parents in charge of their physiologies. and even if it's just one, father or mother, the responsibility and responsiveness is upon you.

_____________
Kamikaze Genes
____________♌♀
goddess; small g.

  

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motherburd
Member since Oct 18th 2012
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Sun Mar-03-13 12:58 PM

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96. "i remember us girls initiating those types of games growing"
In response to Reply # 89
Sun Mar-03-13 01:01 PM by motherburd

  

          

up as well. i don't know i hate to villainize boys because they might be lil horny grabbers/touchers/feelers as kids
because lot a lil girls are as well.
at least looking back on my childhood that's how it was
i don't remember it being like boys always attacking girls sexually
it was mostly mutual (and when it wasn't it was on both sides)

that's just my experience though
i just hate that this can't be something that is addressed without it being that
men are just inherently whack and we have to protect women from them.

edited for spelling

  

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Novembersgift
Member since Oct 19th 2004
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Sun Mar-03-13 01:03 PM

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98. "RE: i remember us girls initiating those types of games growing"
In response to Reply # 96


  

          

>up as well. i don't know i hate to villainize boys because
>they might be lil horny grabbers/touchers/feelers as kids
>but a lot a lil girls are as well.
>at least looking back on my childhood that's how it was
>i don't remember it being like boys always attacking girls
>sexually
>it was mostly mutual (and when it wasn't it was on both
>sides)
>
>that's just my experience though
>i just hate that this can't be something that is addressed
>without it being that
>men are just inherently whack and we have to protect women
>from them.

I know that's not where I come from with this argument. Both boys and girls are subject to the sociocultural lessons and cues that we provide them from their earliest days. Honestly, if you did nothing, exercised little to no critical thought at all, and just grew up in society absorbing all of the messages and lessons, then it's no surprise boys AND girls exhibit behavior and thinking that's problematic. Because our institutions are racist, sexist, and classist. But that doesn't mean people who do think about these things, particularly in an integrated way (bc they're often related), couldn't and shouldn't actively work to dismantle the structures and institutions that make people feel less than... that disenfranchise them... that subject them to harm, discrimination, etc. So yes, there are women who are perpetrators of sexism just like there are black people who perpetuate racist thinking. Yall know... the conditioning has been conditioned.

  

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motherburd
Member since Oct 18th 2012
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Sun Mar-03-13 01:13 PM

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102. "i agree with everything you wrote. "
In response to Reply # 98


  

          

i think both sexes should be addressed with regards to this
that's all i was saying
morpheme's reply was more coming at it (and it's her personal experience i don't want to discredit it) from an angle of boys were going after girls all the time
i just brought my POV in to point out that lil girls and boys exhibit this behavior
and kids in general (at least since i was a kid i don't know about before)
are just freaks for a plethora of reasons
some of it is just natural kid behavior and some of it stems from more troublesome shit
to say the least

but again i don't like sexism being attacked on a us vs them level
because men and women need one another
we can't afford to build more resentment with these discussions

  

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Novembersgift
Member since Oct 19th 2004
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Sun Mar-03-13 01:19 PM

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106. "i do not disagree. nm"
In response to Reply # 102


  

          

  

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morpheme
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126. "well this is a women at men campaign..."
In response to Reply # 102


  

          

i won't say versus
because it is not anti-men in the message i receive
but anti-male domineering behaviour in the streets.

women are challenging the behaviour.

the boys at my school were engaging in proactive behaviour.
and i still question if it's in reaction to a stimulus.
is it physical? psychological?
is it something being intoned in the home? sociologically?
a combination?


because i really believe that the hollas on the street are just a progression of 'freaky fridays' and the like. you can combine a lot of shit into that, but i digress for the moment. i believe adult men can wrangle in their behaviours on their own where a campaign such as this can prove effective. but i'm looking to WHEN we can begin addressing this aspect of the culture.

boys are sexualized early the same as our girls are. they're taught to "get" women. to be persistent. that their burgeoning muscles and mustaches *mean* something. their virility is encouraged early on. we need to seek how succeptable that is to the world around them and when.

we hone in on "fast" behaviour in our girls. we're constantly repressing their sexuality and physicality. we're giving them all these "don't" directives and cannots. our boys are not being regarded on the same level, not to say they need to be regarded by the exact same measures. but we're keeping one group sequestered and the other with seemingly no tether.

  

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motherburd
Member since Oct 18th 2012
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Sun Mar-03-13 04:36 PM

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209. "this the shit i don't like:"
In response to Reply # 126


  

          


>we hone in on "fast" behaviour in our girls. we're constantly
>repressing their sexuality and physicality. we're giving them
>all these "don't" directives and cannots. our boys are not
>being regarded on the same level, not to say they need to be
>regarded by the exact same measures. but we're keeping one
>group sequestered and the other with seemingly no tether.
>

  

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morpheme
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220. "yup..."
In response to Reply # 209


  

          

and shit is staid and counterproductive to say the least.

_____________
Kamikaze Genes
____________♌♀
goddess; small g.

  

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AlBundy
Member since May 27th 2002
9621 posts
Wed Mar-13-13 02:06 AM

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265. "man that was so much fun"
In response to Reply # 89


  

          

-------------------------
“The other dude after me didn’t help my case. It was just like…crazy nigga factory going on.”
Dre makes no apologies for his own eccentricities. “I was young, and searching, trying to find myself,” he says. “Never did.”-- Andre B

  

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Below The Mason Dixon
Member since Oct 11th 2011
18159 posts
Sun Mar-03-13 01:14 PM

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104. "I'm going to sound slightly niggerish here but..."
In response to Reply # 0


  

          


Fuck what women like/dislike. If she don't like it she can eat a dick and be the fuck gone with it. If you getting holla'ed at every time you step out, you need to either throw some clothes on or get a better financial situation, because that cold holla happens a lot more frequently in hood/ghetto ass places.

OR how about you just get the fuck over it. Big whoop a few niggas approach you "sometimes" or "on occasion" who you don't find attractive. because we all know if you did...yeah, shit wouldn't be an issue.

Meanwhile I get approached by Old ladies, who need help, Old men who need help. crackheads, young bum ass niggas who want money for a loosie. Prostitutes who want a ride and or a loosie. and the occasional female motorist who's car has broken down and needs help.

so a few niggas hollering >>>>>>> All THAT Bullshit.

"Give a woman the moon, bitch will want another moon to go with it"

(C) My Nigga Randall

  

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motherburd
Member since Oct 18th 2012
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Sun Mar-03-13 01:15 PM

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105. "nigga said slightly."
In response to Reply # 104


  

          

  

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legsdiamond
Member since May 05th 2011
81558 posts
Tue Mar-12-13 03:09 PM

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254. "ever been to alabama?"
In response to Reply # 105


          

  

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Socially Inept
Member since Oct 29th 2004
4223 posts
Sun Mar-03-13 01:26 PM

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112. "ladies and gentlemen, alabama power."
In response to Reply # 104


  

          


(and birds sing sweeter
than books
tell how)

  

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morpheme
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129. "this is about the way men are speaking to women..."
In response to Reply # 104


  

          

not that women are not to be spoken to.


i frankly am not of the ilk that i cannot be spoken to on the street. don't call me out my name. don't say anything sexually suggestive to me. don't reach out to tug any article of my clothing. and in my personal case, don't address my son. don't invade my personal space while you're speaking. if i speak and KIM -do not follow me. do not call slurs to my back. let me go.




_____________
Kamikaze Genes
____________♌♀
goddess; small g.

  

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Teknontheou
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Sun Mar-03-13 01:57 PM

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130. "There's women on this board on the Don't Say Shit To Me tip."
In response to Reply # 129


  

          

If that's not you, cool, but you cant erase them from the conversation just because it weakens your overall point.

  

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morpheme
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132. "they're entitled to that tho..."
In response to Reply # 130


  

          

tho it's an extremism in my realm
i know why they're there when it comes to it.
they don't have to tell me.
but if they're telling YOU?
things have devolved in such a way where it's necessary to keep cracking this dialogue.

_____________
Kamikaze Genes
____________♌♀
goddess; small g.

  

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Below The Mason Dixon
Member since Oct 11th 2011
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Sun Mar-03-13 02:09 PM

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133. "Well shit I'm entitled to speak to them if I so choose to."
In response to Reply # 132


  

          

what kinda shit is that.

"Give a woman the moon, bitch will want another moon to go with it"

(C) My Nigga Randall

  

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morpheme
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135. "actually you are..."
In response to Reply # 133


  

          

i just ask that you speak with higher regard.

_____________
Kamikaze Genes
____________♌♀
goddess; small g.

  

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Novembersgift
Member since Oct 19th 2004
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Sun Mar-03-13 02:28 PM

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149. "I guess people are entitled to say whatever to whomever"
In response to Reply # 133


  

          

but we tend to ask one another to deal more delicately, right? If only for the common good and so all people feel better.
I guess someone could walk up to you and say all kinds of shit about you, your looks, your assumed ethnicity, your assumed financial status, your beliefs, etc. I think you demand respect from people though, right? I mean... I'm guessing you expect fellow human beings to address you in a certain way because you're an adult and a self-actualized person. Could they do otherwise? Sure. But is that really where you wanna go with this?

  

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Socially Inept
Member since Oct 29th 2004
4223 posts
Sun Mar-03-13 01:20 PM

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108. "smiling at strangers on the street is just part of the emotional labor"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

expected of women at any given time in so many spheres of life, and it's the cumulative effect of that constant expectation that makes it tiring and gross. the fact that women are expected to be pleasing to others/make life more pleasant for others regardless of how they feel, where they are, what they're doing, is a lot to contend with. it's an acceptable expectation in personal life where each member of a family/friendship/relationship makes certain sacrifices for the benefit of others in it and there's a real bond/reciprocal care there, etc but to be expected to swallow your feelings and brighten the day of strangers on the street, for no reason other than that you're female, and you're there, is ridiculous. we aren't talking about common courtesy (which you can perform without being overtly 'cheerful' btw), this is something else and I like the way people try to pretend it's not.

more on emotional labor (but in the context of service work): http://inthesetimes.com/working/entry/14535/grin_and_abhor_it_the_truth_behind_service_with_a_smile/

(and birds sing sweeter
than books
tell how)

  

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Novembersgift
Member since Oct 19th 2004
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Sun Mar-03-13 02:29 PM

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150. "this."
In response to Reply # 108


  

          

noted.

  

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Goldmind
Member since Oct 28th 2004
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Sun Mar-03-13 04:18 PM

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205. "Thanks for this."
In response to Reply # 108


          


  

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MiracleRic
Member since Oct 21st 2002
45200 posts
Fri Apr-25-14 11:29 AM

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272. "we need to change THAT part in particular"
In response to Reply # 108


  

          

we need to recalibrate the predatory nature of dating and mating that we (mostly) socially setup

it's weird to set up a system like that and then get mad when (typically the low class) resort to telemarketing/batter's average type of hollers

the "smile" comments are distasteful and cold hollers are high risk (success rate and intrusion likelihood)

but since we're talking about how people are socialized...we are socialized to hunt...with every tool in our arsenal...

so it's like...we're being asked to break our social programming so that you can be more comfortable following yours

it's not THAT unreasonable a request but it doesn't solve the problem AT ALL

Let me sport my Air Hyperbole 2010s in peace. (c) ansomble

Building repetoires (c) spm since 1983

  

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thrill
Member since Nov 04th 2006
17071 posts
Sun Mar-03-13 01:30 PM

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116. "the "smile" thing is also particularly american "
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

and i say this as someone who has been street-harassed on four continents. it's this american thing the same way that the scary levels of cheerfulness at fast food places is american. the comment on emotional labor is totally true.

.........................
the little anodynes

  

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bloocollar
Member since Aug 14th 2008
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Sun Mar-03-13 01:40 PM

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123. "RE: the "smile" thing is also particularly american "
In response to Reply # 116


          

>and i say this as someone who has been street-harassed on
>four continents.

psshhhttt

i don't believe it. nigga you aint that fine

  

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FromTheGo
Member since Feb 04th 2003
10606 posts
Sun Mar-03-13 01:46 PM

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125. "...so OKP women, you only want compliments on OKP and from other women....."
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

...anything else is harassment, and when men compliment you they are taking ownership of your body and soul to make you into nothing...


...when a female on the street pays you a compliment, though, they are genuine though...



...I'll remember all that when you make your:

...what are you wearing today...
...should I wear leggings...
...post a pic...
...OKP was on sartoralist...
...check out my abs/workout progress/titties...

Posts...

Yall post and participate, then log off and go outside and morph into fragile victims of male oppression.



Social media got some broads feeling like they are more important than they are in reality.


JoJo from the BX, Lil Dee from 63rd, Evan from accounting are not trying to steal your souls by saying "turn that frown upside down"


†††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††
http://s17.postimg.org/6r7bfqpnz/kyrieglass.jpg - They Call Him Mr. Glass

  

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Krispee
Member since May 23rd 2010
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Sun Mar-03-13 01:53 PM

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128. "why u call me a weirdo and stopped responding"
In response to Reply # 125


  

          


I was willing to accept your compliment

and asked that you listen to what I had to say

then you were completely rude to me

about my job, my life, my dead dog


then you call me weird


explain

  

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FromTheGo
Member since Feb 04th 2003
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Sun Mar-03-13 02:23 PM

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142. "again...if someone says hi, or gives you a compliment"
In response to Reply # 128


  

          

That don't mean they give a fuck about your life or stressors...

...no more than when a woman smiles at a man and it meaning she wants to fuck



If I see you walking down the street smiling and say FROWN!

What are you smiling for?




Men being rude and aggressive are one thing.

Men giving a compliment is another


Either situation, its not about you...

†††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††
http://s17.postimg.org/6r7bfqpnz/kyrieglass.jpg - They Call Him Mr. Glass

  

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Krispee
Member since May 23rd 2010
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Sun Mar-03-13 02:33 PM

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151. "but you asking a lady to smile "
In response to Reply # 142


  

          


what does that do for you?

if you don't give a fuck about our lives and its stressors

why you give a fuck about us frowning


  

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FromTheGo
Member since Feb 04th 2003
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164. "do you like seeing young black men with pants sagging?"
In response to Reply # 151


  

          


I don't.

So I tell young dudes to pull up their pants, get a belt, or tell they where they can get Levis or whatever the well fitting fashionable style jeans are for cheap...

If a dude has nice kicks or some slick gear, I have no problem giving a compliment or asking where he copped.



In either situation, I don't care about their lives and issues. I just personally don't like seeing folk out there bogus.


Same shit.


Smile, its a good look. You don't want to, fine...its still a good look.

you look nice...don't know if that was your aim, don't care...you still look nice.



†††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††
http://s17.postimg.org/6r7bfqpnz/kyrieglass.jpg - They Call Him Mr. Glass

  

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Krispee
Member since May 23rd 2010
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Sun Mar-03-13 03:24 PM

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179. "omg, I'm so fucking turned on right now"
In response to Reply # 164


  

          


you on the south side?


  

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morpheme
Charter member
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Sun Mar-03-13 02:11 PM

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134. "are you gentlemen aware..."
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

that many of our responses to this behaviour is not literally based on walking past men and having them speak to/disrespect you?

many times these instances are in "contained" environments
on the bus
on the train
while waiting for the bus
while waiting for the train
inside places of business

along streets and avenues we must travel everyday.

sometimes random ain't so random.

_____________
Kamikaze Genes
____________♌♀
goddess; small g.

  

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lightworks
Member since Feb 17th 2006
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Sun Mar-03-13 02:15 PM

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136. "Novembergift is crushing it in this thread."
In response to Reply # 0


          

Much like how white folks just can't understand some things Black folks go through, I don't think guys necessarily get what girls go through at times.

This is one of those times.

  

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Teknontheou
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138. "It must be awesome to be a woman of color and possess"
In response to Reply # 136


  

          

***ALL*** the moral authority. That must bring with it an awesome sense of..."endowed righteousness."

  

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Below The Mason Dixon
Member since Oct 11th 2011
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140. "They almost come across like White people."
In response to Reply # 138


  

          

And niggas is screaming RACISM is real, and they like nah not anymore it doesn't and you can't reach em, so it just gets more and more frustrating.

"Give a woman the moon, bitch will want another moon to go with it"

(C) My Nigga Randall

  

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bloocollar
Member since Aug 14th 2008
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Sun Mar-03-13 02:26 PM

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146. "they can never be wrong--"
In response to Reply # 138


          

reality will bend to their feelings

  

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AlBundy
Member since May 27th 2002
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Wed Mar-13-13 04:02 AM

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266. "women have no need for logic, its all emotion"
In response to Reply # 146


  

          

(c)Patrice Oneal

-------------------------
“The other dude after me didn’t help my case. It was just like…crazy nigga factory going on.”
Dre makes no apologies for his own eccentricities. “I was young, and searching, trying to find myself,” he says. “Never did.”-- Andre B

  

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thrill
Member since Nov 04th 2006
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152. "a-trolling you will go, a-trolling you will go"
In response to Reply # 138


  

          

>***ALL*** the moral authority. That must bring with it an
>awesome sense of..."endowed righteousness."

"I don't think guys necessarily get what girls go through at times." reveals "endowed righteousness". OK. Why do you post things you know are dumb, it's just weird to me. Is it supposed to be for OK-popularity, so you can join the list of trolls that the rabble find oh so entertaining?

*shrug*

.........................
the little anodynes

  

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Novembersgift
Member since Oct 19th 2004
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Sun Mar-03-13 02:37 PM

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156. "Wow. "
In response to Reply # 138


  

          

Yall are heaping on a whole lot of shit that I (as a woman of color) have never claimed. All the moral authority? Endowed righteousness? So a person witnessing to their lived experiences and being echoed by a number of women around the country and the globe is just up on her fucking high horse? Again... thank you for illustrating the point so well.

Already in this post I've been called out for being not really pretty enough to get harassed on the street (so what, I must be lying?). Then I'm getting words placed in my mouth. Then it's being implied that I and other WOC are "like white people" (in a negative way)? Wow, b. Just wow.

Let's recall the fact that I'm black and a woman and grew up in poverty and therefore live in and come from the very same spaces that some of you do/did. I'm baffled as to why you see WOC as working against you instead of being in the trenches, battling against MULTIPLE oppressions and overlapping institutions of sexism, racism, and classism. This feels extremely combative in a way wholly inconsistent with the way I've responded to any post here.

  

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Teknontheou
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163. "Who on here said you weren't pretty enough to get "
In response to Reply # 156


  

          

street harassed? Somebody just told Mica that she wasn't in the same league and you and Chemical and therefore she shouldn't count herself among your number.

Anyway, yes, I stand by my comment that there does seem to be a huge amount of moral authority that comes with being a woman of color (in the West, I'd add.) Telling dudes "you just don't get it" (which is essentially what Mica said in 136) is one of the effects of that. Because logically, why should guys even try to listen if they're being told they don't/can't get it?

  

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Below The Mason Dixon
Member since Oct 11th 2011
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166. "They see what they wanna see and hear what they wanna hear."
In response to Reply # 163


  

          

It really is amazing.

"Give a woman the moon, bitch will want another moon to go with it"

(C) My Nigga Randall

  

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bloocollar
Member since Aug 14th 2008
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168. "RE: Who on here said you weren't pretty enough to get "
In response to Reply # 163


          

> Because logically, why should
>guys even try to listen if they're being told they don't/can't
>get it?

i think we should take a page out of their book and turn all of our daily annoyances into social movements


  

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thrill
Member since Nov 04th 2006
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169. "don't is generally true, can't is speculative"
In response to Reply # 163
Sun Mar-03-13 03:04 PM by thrill

  

          


>Anyway, yes, I stand by my comment that there does seem to be
>a huge amount of moral authority that comes with being a woman
>of color (in the West, I'd add.)

lol if this huge moral authority existed, there would be expressions of empathy rather than the giggling stupidty that is all over this thread.

huge moral authority must be why black single mothers have been demonized for the last forty years and why any rape survivor gets defamed. this huge moral authority, is it good for a discount on max delivery?

.........................
the little anodynes

  

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Teknontheou
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171. "The Civil Rights Movement split Moral Authority apart from"
In response to Reply # 169
Sun Mar-03-13 03:14 PM by Teknontheou

  

          

the other types of authority (legal, military, financial, educational, etc.)

So now, in Western liberal democracies like this one, the most seemingly downtrodden have most of the moral authority. EDIT - They have that moral authority among those who have chosen to buy into what the Civil Rights Movement fought to sell - the idea that everyone has dignity and should be respected. But we know that plenty of Americans either didn't buy that, or barely bought it - most white southerners being the obvious group.

So the people who bought into it after the CRM reached its apex *do* have empathy for poor black and Latino single mothers, more or less - liberal white educated people.

Before the 60's, rich white male capitalists enjoyed all of the authority, moral and otherwise.

  

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thrill
Member since Nov 04th 2006
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188. "derailing "
In response to Reply # 171


  

          

>- They have that moral authority among those who have chosen
>to buy into what the Civil Rights Movement fought to sell

actually i don't think it's the crm so much as pomo and post-crm identity politics. but not very relevant to a thread in which men aren't observing the minimum of decency forget about conceding "huge moral authority".

(actually, what happens is that the white guys will discuss how they are queer, genderqueer, manic depressive and have chronic fatigue before any woman of color can claim any moral authority. to be fair, a workiing class union organizer i know says the same thing about middle class women like me.)

.........................
the little anodynes

  

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Socially Inept
Member since Oct 29th 2004
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Sun Mar-03-13 03:40 PM

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193. "please see this train of thought to completion"
In response to Reply # 171


  

          

>EDIT
>- They have that moral authority among those who have chosen
>to buy into what the Civil Rights Movement fought to sell -

we may be minutes away from you understanding why this supposed "apex of moral authority" that black women have means dick to their actual lives. just keep those wheels a'turning.


(and birds sing sweeter
than books
tell how)

  

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Teknontheou
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200. "I never claimed that moral authority puts food on the table"
In response to Reply # 193


  

          

or money in the bank.

But around a bunch of hyper-educated lioberals of any race? It's gold.

This type of conversation wouldn't even get off the ground or your points be seriously entertained at the Hood barbershop. There wouldn't even be a back and forth so much a FOH type of dismissal. Same if you tried to have it among a bunch of white Tea Party types.

But on OKP, most of us exist in liberal, educated urban-ish enclaves, where at the very least there will be a debate. Within that world, that moral authority is largely, at least grudgingly, if not always enthusiastically, respected.

  

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Socially Inept
Member since Oct 29th 2004
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Sun Mar-03-13 07:05 PM

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230. "so within a tiny, tiny faction of the general population,"
In response to Reply # 200
Sun Mar-03-13 07:05 PM by Socially Inept

  

          

the perspective of black women re: their position and struggles in society is at least entertained/"up for debate"--meaning, we get the opportunity to make our case/scrap to have our voices heard and get at least a couple head nods amongst the derision--and *that* is some kind of giant moral upperhand that we must feel grateful for having? there is nowhere near a consensus on the validity of the perspective of black women. for every person who understands, there are 100 who think we are being too sensitive/making things up/looking for some sort of charity. if it is happening here in this thread, in a crowd of people that you concede is more open to the conversation than a lot of folk would be, what does that say about the general reception black women must get when they dare to open their mouths about their own experiences? and if we aren't even deemed reliable witnesses re: our own experiences, our thoughts certainly aren't given much weight in regard to the wide world of experience and how we think things should be. I don't know what kind of 'gold' you can call that. fool's gold, maybe.

(and birds sing sweeter
than books
tell how)

  

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Teknontheou
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233. "That's not a tiny, tiny fraction of the population."
In response to Reply # 230


  

          

There's lots and lots of liberal hyper educated people in this country.

Again, in the big cities and college towns, they have a huge presence. And many people in suburbia are highly educated as well.

  

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Socially Inept
Member since Oct 29th 2004
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Sun Mar-03-13 07:35 PM

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236. "alright, man. I'm sleep."
In response to Reply # 233


  

          


(and birds sing sweeter
than books
tell how)

  

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Goldmind
Member since Oct 28th 2004
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Sun Mar-03-13 07:17 PM

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231. "So what's the problem? "
In response to Reply # 200
Sun Mar-03-13 07:17 PM by Goldmind

          

Among educated people and progressives, the ideas that promote values such as equality, autonomy, and human dignity get the most respect. Sounds good to me.

  

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Teknontheou
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232. "I never said it was a problem. In fact, I said it must be"
In response to Reply # 231
Sun Mar-03-13 07:28 PM by Teknontheou

  

          

an awesome thing to enjoy if you're a black woman.

  

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Socially Inept
Member since Oct 29th 2004
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Sun Mar-03-13 07:33 PM

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235. "with sarcasm. you said it with sarcasm."
In response to Reply # 232


  

          


(and birds sing sweeter
than books
tell how)

  

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Teknontheou
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237. "That's a hustle I refuse to knock, though."
In response to Reply # 235


  

          

If I were a Black woman I would savor that moral authority and not want to let go of it either. I don't blame you for reacting to what I'm saying the way you are. I would too if I were in your shoes.

  

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Socially Inept
Member since Oct 29th 2004
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239. "yeah, man. we're killing the Oppression Olympics"
In response to Reply # 237


  

          

I wake up feeling like a champion everyday. I polish my gold medal at night. I only care about the lives of black women. it's really cool.

(and birds sing sweeter
than books
tell how)

  

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Teknontheou
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240. "Fighting to defend that moral authority isn't necessarily"
In response to Reply # 239


  

          

linked to caring about members of other groups (men, white people, gays, etc.) one way or another.

There were plenty of white racists who thought black people were being treated poorly.

There are plenty of homophobes who would try to intervene if they saw a gay person getting beaten up, or something.

There are plenty of male chauvinists and sexists who won't stand to hear people they know talking crudely about women.

  

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Goldmind
Member since Oct 28th 2004
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246. "It was smarmy, and strangely resentful."
In response to Reply # 232


          

Your bitterness is palpable and misplaced.

>an awesome thing to enjoy if you're a black woman.

Do you enjoy your moral authority as a black male? Because I would trade my "moral authority" over white people in an argument for the peace of not having to engage in the argument in the first place. Like, what kind of horrifying shit must have occurred, what must still be occurring, for others to see a particular group as endowed with "moral authority"? And how is that "awesome"?

  

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Teknontheou
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248. "I only have moral authority as a black person, not as a man."
In response to Reply # 246


  

          

The funny thing is, I find those two facts often cancel each other out in alot of these types of conversations. But at the same time I find myself able to sympathize with those who have alot of moral authority and very little moral authority at the same time.

  

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Goldmind
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249. "Uh I'm, too, a man. Yet I'm perceived to have "moral authority""
In response to Reply # 248


          


  

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FromTheGo
Member since Feb 04th 2003
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Sun Mar-03-13 03:08 PM

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172. "I wonder how this post would look if..."
In response to Reply # 169


  

          

we all lived in Dubai or some remote middle eastern country...


†††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††
http://s17.postimg.org/6r7bfqpnz/kyrieglass.jpg - They Call Him Mr. Glass

  

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Teknontheou
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181. "Ultra misogynistic. What's your point?"
In response to Reply # 172


  

          

You just gave an unintended shout out to how good and safe a country the US is versus alot of middle eastern shit holes.

  

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Socially Inept
Member since Oct 29th 2004
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173. "post is full of women explaining/giving specific examples, and yet:"
In response to Reply # 163


  

          

>Because logically, why should
>guys even try to listen if they're being told they don't/can't
>get it?
>

http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m1s0y7X1hQ1r0cym8o4_250.gif

(and birds sing sweeter
than books
tell how)

  

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Socially Inept
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167. "Boy, bye."
In response to Reply # 138


  

          


(and birds sing sweeter
than books
tell how)

  

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FromTheGo
Member since Feb 04th 2003
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148. "nigga you ain't even in the demographic..."
In response to Reply # 136


  

          

You have to be all extra to get attention, you can't get me to believe you get that Novembersgift/Sixteenstone treatment out here in these streets...


Nope not buying it


You are the attention whore short makes it bad for the regular women


†††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††††
http://s17.postimg.org/6r7bfqpnz/kyrieglass.jpg - They Call Him Mr. Glass

  

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kingjerm78
Member since Jul 05th 2007
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Sun Mar-03-13 02:15 PM

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137. "I'm glad I got married before all this bullshit came about. "
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

--------------------------------

one half of the most dynamic tag team on the net...nappyafro's FROCAST!

http://www.frocast.com
www.nappyafro.com
store.nappyafro.com

  

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Teknontheou
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141. "That's an interesting point."
In response to Reply # 137


  

          

I find that black women above a certain age range don't seem to even know much about this issue.

My mother is always kind of mad at me because I leave women completely alone in the street. I try to tell her that if I say anything to the wrong woman at the wrong time, then I'm a street harasser, and catching that tag is more trouble than it's worth.

She's a boomer, and hollering for sport hadn't gotten out of hand in her day, so she totally underestimates the tone of the atmosphere now.

  

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thrill
Member since Nov 04th 2006
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143. "^ did not read ffor colored girls who have considered suicide"
In response to Reply # 141


  

          

>I find that black women above a certain age range don't seem
>to even know much about this issue.

your mother doesn't use salt and pepper in her cooking, she should not be a data point for anything.

.........................
the little anodynes

  

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Teknontheou
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147. "She was reacting to my grandmother - grandma puts pepper"
In response to Reply # 143


  

          

in her grape jello.

To this day I gag a little when I eat grandma's fried chicken.

  

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thrill
Member since Nov 04th 2006
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154. "i don't know american culture well enough to know"
In response to Reply # 147


  

          

if that is a joke.

i had fried chicken and waffles yesterday, the jalapeno honey made it worthwhile. word to tipsy parson.

.........................
the little anodynes

  

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KCPlayer21
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165. "You and me both, bruh...."
In response to Reply # 137


  

          


You gon' live forever
Whether you want to or not
Some of us gon' end up holy
Some of us gon' end up hot.....

  

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morpheme
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222. "you know what tho?"
In response to Reply # 165


  

          

married men do it too.

it's just the type of man you choose to be out in the streets.

i don't even believe the more assaulting comments are even being said in hopes of "pulling a chick".

and it sort of becomes an "every man" problem because there are women regarding you apprehensively regardless of your marital status and what you in fact may be saying.

i had a married man tell me he'd stopped even saying hello to women he didn't know. he was constantly being bombarded by screw faces and rolling eyes and disdain. he was really really really taken aback that i'd actually engaged in small talk with him while we were boarding a plane.

_____________
Kamikaze Genes
____________♌♀
goddess; small g.

  

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tomjohn29
Member since Oct 18th 2004
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202. "Literally thought this while reading through this post"
In response to Reply # 137


  

          

Wouldn't have met my wife without an awkward street holler

______________________________________

Navem nu, cuando sol
Tutu nu, vondo nos nu
Vita em, no continous non
Nos nu ekta nos sepe ta, amen

When the sun shades the ship
We sweat and life is not safe
To swim or to touch not
When we unite we hedge amen

  

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Lil Rabies
Member since Oct 12th 2005
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Thu Apr-24-14 10:02 PM

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270. "Amen"
In response to Reply # 202


  

          

But I am handsome, so my approach and turn downs were always graceful. My boys are going to be throwbacks because I can't condone having them resist the impulse to pursue women. Shit like this is literally creating 'Toines out of Tonies. Can you not see this? None of these women endorsing hollering as being rapey have sons, do you now?

Taking shots in the dark/that's a bad call
Going straight for your head/ gotta saw it off

  

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MiQL
Member since Sep 03rd 2002
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Wed Mar-13-13 12:07 AM

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260. "Fuck. Me four. Every time I see these posts."
In response to Reply # 137
Wed Mar-13-13 12:30 AM by MiQL

  

          

.

  

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MizClayton
Member since Feb 22nd 2003
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Sun Mar-03-13 02:25 PM

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145. "dudes refuse to get it"
In response to Reply # 0
Sun Mar-03-13 02:35 PM by MizClayton

  

          

there is a huge population of women who like that shit though..so don't forget about them guys.

I also think some of yall dudes are taking it personally, when the type of compliments yall talking about ain't even the same as the harassment women dislike so much.

  

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Socially Inept
Member since Oct 29th 2004
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195. "there's a lot of this"
In response to Reply # 145


  

          


>I also think some of yall dudes are taking it personally, when
>the type of compliments yall talking about ain't even the same
>as the harassment women dislike so much.

but let them cook, I guess?


(and birds sing sweeter
than books
tell how)

  

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Krispee
Member since May 23rd 2010
3816 posts
Sun Mar-03-13 02:36 PM

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153. "check this incident out"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

my cousin was walking down the street

dude tried to holla out the car window

she kept it moving, didn't say nothing

he pulls the car over, jumps out

smacks her on the ass with something hard

she turns around to snap on him

and sees he smacked her ass with a gun.


what is a woman to do?

dudes are reckless out here






  

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Below The Mason Dixon
Member since Oct 11th 2011
18159 posts
Sun Mar-03-13 02:40 PM

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157. "So what that got to do with hollas tho."
In response to Reply # 153


  

          

that shit is like the mass shooting of street hollas. yeah its happened but it ain't going down like that all the time.

And in that story you could trade your cousins place and put a dude in that situation.

What could a dude do different?

"Give a woman the moon, bitch will want another moon to go with it"

(C) My Nigga Randall

  

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Krispee
Member since May 23rd 2010
3816 posts
Sun Mar-03-13 02:45 PM

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158. "ya boys are reckless "
In response to Reply # 157


  

          


she cussed him out and told him to shoot her if he's that sensitive about not getting a response to a street holla.



  

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mtbatol
Member since May 22nd 2002
19788 posts
Sun Mar-03-13 02:37 PM

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155. "FELLAS, YOU SHOULD NEVER SPEAK TO WOMEN ON THE STREET PERIOD! "
In response to Reply # 0


          

Not to ask if a bus/train just passed, hold the door,

EVEN IF SHE DROP HER PHONE, MONEY, WALLET OR WHATEVER, YOU DON'T DARE HELP OUT OR ANYTHING! DOING SO IS TREATING HER LIKE PROPERTY!

  

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Socially Inept
Member since Oct 29th 2004
4223 posts
Sun Mar-03-13 03:11 PM

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174. "http://25.media.tumblr.com/1d119390659c33aa899d497000b495e5/tumblr_mf7hr..."
In response to Reply # 155


  

          

http://25.media.tumblr.com/1d119390659c33aa899d497000b495e5/tumblr_mf7hrcpOxc1qjo50co1_250.gif


(and birds sing sweeter
than books
tell how)

  

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KCPlayer21
Charter member
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Sun Mar-03-13 02:47 PM

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160. "Its only harassment if you're not attracted to him or find him attractiv..."
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

I've seen dudes get away with some reckless shit just because they were one of them pretty niggas that all the women fall over themselves for.....



You gon' live forever
Whether you want to or not
Some of us gon' end up holy
Some of us gon' end up hot.....

  

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Below The Mason Dixon
Member since Oct 11th 2011
18159 posts
Sun Mar-03-13 02:52 PM

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162. "the hypocrisy of women knows no limits."
In response to Reply # 160


  

          

Just be thankful they even look at you, ya know sometimes. and that you get to share the same planet with them.

"Give a woman the moon, bitch will want another moon to go with it"

(C) My Nigga Randall

  

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thrill
Member since Nov 04th 2006
17071 posts
Sun Mar-03-13 03:13 PM

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176. "you only say this to justify harassment"
In response to Reply # 160


  

          

as if women weren't repulsed by men's actions every day of the week

as if there weren't some limit to what women find acceptable behavior

as if a man could leap out of the bushes and threaten to murder you and even that would be acceptable if only you found him hot.

as if we aren't capable of moral judgements.

you need to stop.

.........................
the little anodynes

  

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Below The Mason Dixon
Member since Oct 11th 2011
18159 posts
Sun Mar-03-13 03:17 PM

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177. "but you acting like that doesn't happen though."
In response to Reply # 176


  

          

he said I've seen dudes....

"Give a woman the moon, bitch will want another moon to go with it"

(C) My Nigga Randall

  

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KCPlayer21
Charter member
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Sun Mar-03-13 03:31 PM

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183. "I'm halfway joking, I'm actually on your side...."
In response to Reply # 176


  

          

seeing as I have a teenage daughter who will soon have to deal with assholes and jerks on the daily, and I've been equipping her on how to deal with it, and I also have a son who will be a young man one day and I'm teaching him how to not be a jerk in his approaches to women.

The all or nothing approach in the replies in this post are what get to me, like there aren't women who are only annoyed by a street holla if its a guy who she thinks isn't attractive. When I hear women at work talk about a coworker saying "he could sexually harass me all day long" it kind of deadens some of y'all argument that men making comments to you takes away your power or is them trying to define your femininity. The whole topic is a whole lot more nuanced then "if you see women on the street don't talk to them".....




You gon' live forever
Whether you want to or not
Some of us gon' end up holy
Some of us gon' end up hot.....

  

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thrill
Member since Nov 04th 2006
17071 posts
Sun Mar-03-13 03:40 PM

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192. "no, it's not. and if you're on my side, do better a job of it."
In response to Reply # 183
Sun Mar-03-13 03:40 PM by thrill

  

          

The whole topic is a whole lot more nuanced then
>"if you see women on the street don't talk to them".....

.........................
the little anodynes

  

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KCPlayer21
Charter member
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Sun Mar-03-13 03:51 PM

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198. "So is it safe for me to assume...."
In response to Reply # 192


  

          

that your stance on this topic is "don't speak to women on the street, period"?



You gon' live forever
Whether you want to or not
Some of us gon' end up holy
Some of us gon' end up hot.....

  

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Monkey Genius
Member since Mar 04th 2005
8114 posts
Sun Mar-03-13 02:47 PM

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161. "Take this dick."
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

You know you like it.

----------------------------------
I have a webcomic: www.watchthecomic.com

My webcomic has a page: www.facebook.com/watchyourheadcomic

  

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Krispee
Member since May 23rd 2010
3816 posts
Sun Mar-03-13 03:05 PM

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170. "^^^^ Ladies and Gentleman... The Asses ^^^^"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          


  

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ShinobiShaw
Charter member
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Sun Mar-03-13 03:11 PM

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175. "Yall niggas stupid"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          


http://soundcloud.com/djshinobishaw
http://www.rareformnyc.com
http://twitter.com/DJShinobiShaw
https://twitter.com/RareFormNYC
PSN: ShinobiShaw

"Arm Leg Leg Arm How you doin?" (c)T510

  

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Ezzsential
Charter member
11085 posts
Sun Mar-03-13 03:22 PM

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178. "its all good let her express herself"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          


~i dont deal with colors letters or any morse codes or beams~

  

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AlBundy
Member since May 27th 2002
9621 posts
Wed Mar-13-13 04:13 AM

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267. "but dont let the men"
In response to Reply # 178


  

          

  

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Binlahab
Charter member
182956 posts
Sun Mar-03-13 03:24 PM

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180. "YO! time the fuck out! - senor love daddy from do the right thing"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

MEN! the women are in here telling yall

1. THIS SHIT IS REAL! we deal with it! all the time! it is hyper annoying
2. If you do it...stop!
3. Why should we have to watch what we say, do, act etc why cant YALL just fucking leave us alone?

to which yall are saying
1. Some of yall like it!
2. fuck that imma do it regardless
3. where/how else am i supposed to holla?!

is this the level of discourse we got between supposedly adult men and women today?

leave chicks walking down the street alone. the shit aint hard. nobody is saying dont look (sorry ladies, we gonna look) but impeding their progress or forcing them to acknowledge your weak ass presence just to feel that ego massage...shits weak

if you wanna holla @ a broad...thats a separate post. this is abt chicks getting harassed on the street. stop doing the shit.

we're all doomed.


do or die

  

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Teknontheou
Charter member
32724 posts
Sun Mar-03-13 03:29 PM

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182. "Like I said up top, I leave them completely alone in the street."
In response to Reply # 180


  

          

The street harasser tag isn't worth the trouble of saying hi. As far as they're concerned, I 100% abide by their demands.

But I will speak up in these typs of conversations when I'm told that just wanting to say something to them makes me part of the oppressive misogynistic problem. That's bologna.

  

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KCPlayer21
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Sun Mar-03-13 03:35 PM

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186. "And this is the best approach, unfortunately....."
In response to Reply # 182


  

          

like I agreed with the poster above, thank God I'm married and don't have to worry about speaking to women in public in order to find someone to spend time with....



You gon' live forever
Whether you want to or not
Some of us gon' end up holy
Some of us gon' end up hot.....

  

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KCPlayer21
Charter member
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Sun Mar-03-13 03:33 PM

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184. "Then the next post will be "Why Don't Men Approach Me?""
In response to Reply # 180


  

          


You gon' live forever
Whether you want to or not
Some of us gon' end up holy
Some of us gon' end up hot.....

  

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Binlahab
Charter member
182956 posts
Sun Mar-03-13 03:35 PM

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185. "ive posted on this bitch every damn day for 13 yrs"
In response to Reply # 184


  

          

& i have NEVER seen a "why dont i get holla'd @?!" post from a chick.

never.

i defy you to find anything close to that. do a search.


do or die

  

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KCPlayer21
Charter member
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Sun Mar-03-13 03:37 PM

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189. "Theres a first time for everything, chief...."
In response to Reply # 185


  

          

but I agree with you, don't say nothing to em in these streets.....



You gon' live forever
Whether you want to or not
Some of us gon' end up holy
Some of us gon' end up hot.....

  

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Teknontheou
Charter member
32724 posts
Sun Mar-03-13 03:43 PM

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194. "I used to hear that from black women alot in college."
In response to Reply # 185


  

          

But I went to a PWI, so there's that.

  

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bloocollar
Member since Aug 14th 2008
18163 posts
Sun Mar-03-13 03:50 PM

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197. "of course you dont--"
In response to Reply # 185


          

cause ultimately niggas aint really caring about this bullshit

if you see a woman you're attracted to, you try to holla

and since we have the burden of initiating conversation we'll use whatever we think works

such as "damn sweetheart, its a beautiful day. how come you aint smiling?"

thats all it really comes down to

  

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ShinobiShaw
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Sun Mar-03-13 04:41 PM

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210. "Nah those post have happen but your original point is correct"
In response to Reply # 185


  

          


http://soundcloud.com/djshinobishaw
http://www.rareformnyc.com
http://twitter.com/DJShinobiShaw
https://twitter.com/RareFormNYC
PSN: ShinobiShaw

"Arm Leg Leg Arm How you doin?" (c)T510

  

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Teknontheou
Charter member
32724 posts
Sun Mar-03-13 03:36 PM

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187. "RE: Then the next post will be "Why Don't Men Approach Me?""
In response to Reply # 184


  

          

http://xkcd.com/642/

This set off a shit storm among the feminists about 3 years ago.

  

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KCPlayer21
Charter member
30076 posts
Sun Mar-03-13 03:39 PM

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190. "LOL"
In response to Reply # 187


  

          


You gon' live forever
Whether you want to or not
Some of us gon' end up holy
Some of us gon' end up hot.....

  

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Alias-I-am
Member since Jan 03rd 2013
833 posts
Sun Mar-03-13 03:52 PM

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199. "LOL"
In response to Reply # 187


          

  

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bloocollar
Member since Aug 14th 2008
18163 posts
Sun Mar-03-13 03:56 PM

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201. "i wish men worldwide--"
In response to Reply # 187


          

could organize an "ignore the shit out of women week"

maybe the week before valentines day

  

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Below The Mason Dixon
Member since Oct 11th 2011
18159 posts
Sun Mar-03-13 04:11 PM

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203. "they don't feel you till you ignore them. little itty bitty been blowing..."
In response to Reply # 201


  

          

I promise If I'd have been on some. let me come see you this chick wouldn't have called. they backwards.

"Give a woman the moon, bitch will want another moon to go with it"

(C) My Nigga Randall

  

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motherburd
Member since Oct 18th 2012
5657 posts
Sun Mar-03-13 04:21 PM

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206. "let you tell it niggas ain't even capable of ignoring "
In response to Reply # 201


  

          

anything with a vagina
and you talking about ignoring women for a week? lol

  

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Below The Mason Dixon
Member since Oct 11th 2011
18159 posts
Sun Mar-03-13 04:41 PM

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211. "*HITS IGNORE*"
In response to Reply # 206


  

          

"Give a woman the moon, bitch will want another moon to go with it"

(C) My Nigga Randall

  

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motherburd
Member since Oct 18th 2012
5657 posts
Sun Mar-03-13 04:15 PM

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204. "lmao"
In response to Reply # 187


  

          

  

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-DJ R-Tistic-
Member since Nov 06th 2008
51986 posts
Sun Mar-03-13 08:00 PM

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241. "Whoaaaaaaa."
In response to Reply # 187


  

          

------------------------------

50+ FREE Mixes on www.DJR-Tistic.com!

Twitter and Instagram - @DJ_RTistic

  

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bloocollar
Member since Aug 14th 2008
18163 posts
Sun Mar-03-13 03:40 PM

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191. "no its not about them getting harassed--"
In response to Reply # 180
Sun Mar-03-13 03:43 PM by bloocollar

          

they conflated the argument (like they normally do)

no one should be verbally abused, called out their name in a bad way (bitch != baby), or generally harassed when a greeting isnt reciprocated

but these chicks are saying "when im not feeling fun and flirty dont talk to me"

asking a chick who's frowning why they're not smiling is an opening for conversation, its not harrasment

its lame sure, but we approach or we get no women. end of story.

confidence and assertiveness are qualities that women say they find attractive in a man

as usual they want what they want, and reality has to bend to what they want

and then when they get it they wont want it anymore



  

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Alias-I-am
Member since Jan 03rd 2013
833 posts
Sun Mar-03-13 03:48 PM

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196. "Forever 16."
In response to Reply # 180


          

Some men don't want to grow up.

  

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morpheme
Charter member
94867 posts
Sun Mar-03-13 04:25 PM

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207. "there are 2 parallel discussions being conducted here..."
In response to Reply # 180


  

          

there's that of the don't speak

there's that of the don't harass

i believe most men aware of what constitutes harassment won't and don't engage in it. yet, incumbent upon the woman, that line differs.
some women are at the 'don't speak' peak due to continuous harassment experienced.

when women take measures to outline what is found harassing, men are defensive because that is either what they don't do, it is not what they INTEND, they cannot correlate any of the aforementioned into how it is an unavoidable and impactful situation for US.

we are -men and women- within our rights to speak and not be spoken to.
men gotta right.
women gotta right.
so who cedes on the issue?
for women not to would be to accept unfavorable behaviour and further internalize the "criminination".

if anything
we seem to need a non-disclosure agreement.
we agree that you all stop and afterwards there's no bitching allowed on why it's stupid or unnecessary or absurd.

to do so would violate said agreement and then we can start chopping your dicks off.

_____________
Kamikaze Genes
____________♌♀
goddess; small g.

  

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Below The Mason Dixon
Member since Oct 11th 2011
18159 posts
Sun Mar-03-13 04:36 PM

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208. "*grabs bag of stones and koran*"
In response to Reply # 207


  

          


>
>to do so would violate said agreement and then we can start
>chopping your dicks off.
>
>

"Give a woman the moon, bitch will want another moon to go with it"

(C) My Nigga Randall

  

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Alias-I-am
Member since Jan 03rd 2013
833 posts
Sun Mar-03-13 04:47 PM

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212. "http://www.openbible.info/topics/stoning_to_death"
In response to Reply # 208


          

http://www.openbible.info/topics/stoning_to_death

  

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Below The Mason Dixon
Member since Oct 11th 2011
18159 posts
Sun Mar-03-13 04:56 PM

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214. "man that was depressing."
In response to Reply # 212


  

          

"Give a woman the moon, bitch will want another moon to go with it"

(C) My Nigga Randall

  

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ChuckFoPrez
Charter member
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Sun Mar-03-13 04:50 PM

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213. "let's not take it this far, now."
In response to Reply # 207


  

          

>then we can start
>chopping your dicks off.

https://twitter.com/chuck4prez

  

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morpheme
Charter member
94867 posts
Sun Mar-03-13 04:57 PM

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215. "it always comes down to your dicks, doesn't it? haha"
In response to Reply # 213


  

          

  

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ChuckFoPrez
Charter member
47859 posts
Sun Mar-03-13 05:11 PM

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216. "Main purposes in life: Survival, Reproduction."
In response to Reply # 215


  

          

Of course it's going to come down to that, lol

https://twitter.com/chuck4prez

  

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morpheme
Charter member
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Sun Mar-03-13 08:19 PM

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245. "wamp wamp wamp 'cut my dick off'..."
In response to Reply # 216


  

          

i get it
haha

_____________
Kamikaze Genes
____________♌♀
goddess; small g.

  

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MiQL
Member since Sep 03rd 2002
7208 posts
Wed Mar-13-13 12:40 AM

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261. "If a woman isn't introduced to me or doesn't initiate convo I ignore 'em..."
In response to Reply # 180
Wed Mar-13-13 12:44 AM by MiQL

  

          

It's been my MO for years.
Don't even want the mere thought of being perceived as 'creepy', 'rapey,' or harassing.
Do I know how to be polite? Of course.
But it doesn't mean that strange women won't mentally prepare to put in the mental and emotional labor as a defense mechanism whenever they see me on the street or elsewhere.

As I've said in past posts, women want to be left alone.
So I leave them the hell alone as other dudes should.
Don't talk to 'em.

>leave chicks walking down the street alone. the shit aint
>hard. nobody is saying dont look (sorry ladies, we gonna look)
>but impeding their progress or forcing them to acknowledge
>your weak ass presence just to feel that ego massage...shits
>weak

  

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daryloneal
Member since Jan 08th 2005
9267 posts
Sun Mar-03-13 05:21 PM

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218. "Part of the reason this isnt received well is because one woman cant spe..."
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

on behalf of all women.

I get the sentiment though. Sometimes the way a man will even stare at a woman in public makes ME feel uncomfortable.

That said, the whole "dont tell a woman to smile" thing is a little extra because its not specific to women. Women have said it to me numerous times.

---
but have you ever checked out my website? www.dtaylorimages.com

  

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morpheme
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94867 posts
Sun Mar-03-13 05:31 PM

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219. "there does come a point, ladies where you don't internalize... "
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

these behaviours anymore.

they in fact won't stop.

and neither will you.

i can recall being nearly petrified, definitely apprehensive whenever encountering men on the street. singularly, in pairs, as groups. it was like wincing whenever you saw an upraised hand. i was into my 30s just about before i ceased.

this isn't about being safe.
never lose your connection to your wits.

i look {if i'm looking} men in the eye when i see them.
i'm willing to smile. don't have to. won't always.
i speak. usually "hello"; it is more formal than a simple "hi".
i can talk while i wait for a second.
i still have means of preoccupation.
i still know exactly what i will gut your throat with should i need to.

some women have always been this way.
i was not.
but for me
this is my world if it's yours.
i'm going to be a part of it.
it's not going to be ignorant men, then young men, then older men, then any man who will preclude me from it.

there is a certain control we can have in our interactions. so therefore i won't ever say the solution is for men to stop speaking -verbally speaking- to us. a hello cannot be allowed to become an affront to male/female interactions. won't accept that.

_____________
Kamikaze Genes
____________♌♀
goddess; small g.

  

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KCPlayer21
Charter member
30076 posts
Sun Mar-03-13 05:44 PM

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223. "You might be the only woman talking sense in here...."
In response to Reply # 219


  

          

and I love you for that.....



You gon' live forever
Whether you want to or not
Some of us gon' end up holy
Some of us gon' end up hot.....

  

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motherburd
Member since Oct 18th 2012
5657 posts
Sun Mar-03-13 06:20 PM

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228. "http://i45.tinypic.com/261gh1h.gif"
In response to Reply # 223


  

          

http://i45.tinypic.com/261gh1h.gif

  

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KCPlayer21
Charter member
30076 posts
Sun Mar-03-13 06:29 PM

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229. "I'm sorry sis, didnt mean to leave you out....."
In response to Reply # 228


  

          


You gon' live forever
Whether you want to or not
Some of us gon' end up holy
Some of us gon' end up hot.....

  

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motherburd
Member since Oct 18th 2012
5657 posts
Sun Mar-03-13 07:44 PM

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238. "lol I was just messin"
In response to Reply # 229


  

          

  

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Ashley Ayers
Member since Dec 12th 2009
12331 posts
Sun Mar-03-13 05:57 PM

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225. "Word"
In response to Reply # 219


  

          

  

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Socially Inept
Member since Oct 29th 2004
4223 posts
Sun Mar-03-13 07:31 PM

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234. "I don't think this is uncommon"
In response to Reply # 219


  

          

I speak, I say "how you doin'?" in passing, and I will make eye contact on the street. I understand why some women don't and what kind of attention they are trying to avoid, but I personally feel comfortable in speaking, so I do. that doesn't erase the experiences of women who have learned not to, and so I will always speak up for them and defend their right to keep it moving.

as much as people swear things are getting so terribly "PC," men and women will eventually not get together at all, people do still continue to meet folks they *do* feel comfortable interacting with and date them/befriend them and live their lives. we'll all make it. respecting the experiences and needs/boundaries of other folks will not end this world, I promise it won't.

(and birds sing sweeter
than books
tell how)

  

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Alias-I-am
Member since Jan 03rd 2013
833 posts
Sun Mar-03-13 08:07 PM

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242. "Great points."
In response to Reply # 234


          

  

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morpheme
Charter member
94867 posts
Sun Mar-03-13 08:16 PM

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244. "you will find 0 instance in this post..."
In response to Reply # 234


  

          

or in any other where i seek to invalidate any woman's experience with being harassed nor her reaction to it.

i am never to be beyond my sisters' mistreatment.

even within your response there are again the two parallels
speaking
approaching

and neither should leave either party unduly harassed or disrespected.
{sorry, gents. "no" does not = disrespect.}

the ramifications are too dire to take sides on this issue.
the fact that it is an issue for women should by its virtue alone should make it an issue for the menfolk.

_____________
Kamikaze Genes
____________♌♀
goddess; small g.

  

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Socially Inept
Member since Oct 29th 2004
4223 posts
Sun Mar-03-13 08:54 PM

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250. "I didn't mean to imply that you have"
In response to Reply # 244


  

          

I was just sure that were folk who would think (because it serves their agenda) that the women who do interact are "the good ones" and are "different" from the ones who could understand why a woman wouldn't want to engage/be engaged. in fact, it isn't dichotomous at all.


>even within your response there are again the two parallels
>speaking
>approaching
>
>and neither should leave either party unduly harassed or
>disrespected.
>{sorry, gents. "no" does not = disrespect.}
>
>the ramifications are too dire to take sides on this issue.
>the fact that it is an issue for women should by its virtue
>alone should make it an issue for the menfolk.

*nods* we all suffer under patriarchy; it sets up a lot of dangerous ideals for men to attempt to live up to, which they then fall short of in some way and then (some) take that frustration out on the women who don't allow them to dominate all that they survey in the way they've been told they should, when in fact it's that ideal that's the problem. (an ideal they didn't personally invent, and may not even consciously realize they're aspiring to.) I'd like us all to transcend; I'm not here to demonize or villainize men. somehow, speaking up against that system ends up being taken that way.

(and birds sing sweeter
than books
tell how)

  

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morpheme
Charter member
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Sun Mar-03-13 10:04 PM

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251. "certainly they will, but why the necessitation to combat what i said?"
In response to Reply # 250


  

          

you were borderline patronizing to *me* when you agree with what i said. what i've been saying throughout this thread. we're going to need to be better at our interactions and acknowledging of one another before we take our arguments to them.

the time taken to say what you really meant was far less cumbersome than taking aim at me. i know what you're saying though.

_____________
Kamikaze Genes
____________♌♀
goddess; small g.

  

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Socially Inept
Member since Oct 29th 2004
4223 posts
Sun Mar-03-13 11:20 PM

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252. "I didn't want the 'one of the good ones' line to start at your reply"
In response to Reply # 251


  

          

by people who would like to create the dichotomy, but I can see how replying there looks a whole lot like directing my comments to you. if we weren't in mixed company, I would've just +1'd your reply but I was definitely in preemptive strike mode re: what the other responses to your reply would be. a conversation just amongst ourselves wouldn't necessitate my reply above, this is true. a conversation amongst combatants on other hand, makes me a bit combative and I apologize if that felt directed towards you. these conversations in the open air can sometimes begin to feel raw and unproductive, but I understand why ultimately that mixed conversation needs to happen. I also remember tho why I usually don't include myself in them, ha.


(and birds sing sweeter
than books
tell how)

  

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8-bit
Member since Jan 12th 2010
10841 posts
Sun Mar-03-13 05:41 PM

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221. "Man, this was 'sposta be about TLynnFaz on the nytimes website"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

It's good that an artist can inspire such passionate discurse through their work though. Congrats to her, she has some really dope paintings too.








*prints out 50 photos of 8-bit with the caption "say hi to me!"*
*grabs staplegun*

---
http://twitter.com/logicalhood
http://instagram.com/hoodlogic

  

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NikaMandela
Charter member
35230 posts
Tue Mar-12-13 11:46 PM

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259. "word. big up to her. "
In response to Reply # 221


          

  

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Seven
Member since Dec 11th 2004
10708 posts
Sun Mar-03-13 06:19 PM

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227. "dope n/m"
In response to Reply # 0


          

  

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Case_One
Charter member
54687 posts
Sun Mar-03-13 08:16 PM

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243. "The OKP Rabbit Hole strikes again. "
In response to Reply # 0


          


.
.
.
.
.
.


***If you have looked in a mirror today then you have already seen a genuine winner! ...... Speak life to your life! © Case_One***

  

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Alias-I-am
Member since Jan 03rd 2013
833 posts
Sun Mar-03-13 08:22 PM

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247. "DEEP"
In response to Reply # 243


          

  

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madwriter
Charter member
12236 posts
Tue Mar-12-13 02:50 PM

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253. "damn i haven't looked at this post since the first day"
In response to Reply # 0
Tue Mar-12-13 02:50 PM by madwriter

  

          

it really went elsewhere than i expected

  

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lfresh
Member since Jun 18th 2002
92696 posts
Tue Mar-12-13 03:16 PM

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255. "i completely missed this post"
In response to Reply # 253


  

          


~~~~
When you are born, you cry, and the world rejoices. Live so that when you die, you rejoice, and the world cries.
~~~~
You cannot hate people for their own good.

  

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MsCeeTee
Member since Jun 23rd 2008
3784 posts
Wed Mar-13-13 12:44 AM

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262. "I'd say it went right where it needed ta go!"
In response to Reply # 253


  

          

not sure if it's the worlds' situations
or our own situations
that are driving us all apart.

but wow.

"hey if this all ends with Thor throwing tornados around New Mexico, let's keep going" (c) nodima

  

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ihsanamin.
Member since Oct 30th 2012
566 posts
Tue Mar-12-13 11:13 PM

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257. "*smh*"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

_________________________
ç—›ã•ã¯å¼·ã•

  

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auset1
Member since Aug 23rd 2002
31116 posts
Wed Mar-13-13 01:09 AM

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263. "I need 1,000 copies of those for my city."
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

I have to detour certain streets just so I dont have to hear it.
whatever happened to hey how are you? I love that.

Listen to my Lady Music
http://soundcloud.com/foxy-not-so-brown/sets/lady-music/

Jewelry
http://rachelstewart.bigcartel.com/
Photography
http://www.creativesilence.net/
Tumblr
http://rachelstewartjewelry.tumblr.com/

  

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Ghetto Black
Member since Dec 24th 2004
10172 posts
Wed Jun-19-13 02:13 PM

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268. ""
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

  

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howisya
Member since Nov 09th 2002
39983 posts
Thu Apr-24-14 07:33 PM

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269. "this apparently hasn't been posted..."
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

https://vimeo.com/91678581

  

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GHNO
Member since Aug 22nd 2012
865 posts
Fri Apr-25-14 11:35 AM

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273. "Koku's body is BANGIN!!! ..........."
In response to Reply # 269


  

          

has that been posted?

  

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8-bit
Member since Jan 12th 2010
10841 posts
Fri Apr-25-14 11:39 AM

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274. "I watched the video just off the strength of your review"
In response to Reply # 273


  

          

Was kinda disappointed man. She didn't get enough screen time.

---
http://twitter.com/logicalhood
http://instagram.com/hoodlogic

  

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GHNO
Member since Aug 22nd 2012
865 posts
Fri Apr-25-14 12:02 PM

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276. "sorry fam...the vid just reminded me is all...yeah, she shoulda"
In response to Reply # 274


  

          

had more Stand Up time....
she's a beast...
i like that she's always smiling too...

  

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deezy
Member since Jul 22nd 2013
1029 posts
Fri Apr-25-14 11:48 AM

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275. ""I am not here for you"--perfect way to sum it up"
In response to Reply # 269
Fri Apr-25-14 11:52 AM by deezy

          

and "entitlement" is the perfect word to describe how these dudes feel





  

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