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Too many people want to give away things that other people would love to have. Trash and treasure to some extent...
Positive attention based on physical appearance is a great example of what I mean. It ain't right, but...for interactions with most people, it is real...
Ask ANY female who has 'changed' dramatically for the worse physically over the years how her attention and level of treatment in life has changed. I guarantee that most of them would admit under the right circumstances that they miss any positive attention associated with their appearance. It gets written off as guys liking young girls. The truth: the average young girl is GOOD-LOOKING! Of course most PEOPLE are gonna find them attractive!
To be personal:
As a random black dude in Houston, I have weighed anywhere between 185 and 260 during my adult life. And I can report to you that the 185 lb. days beat the fuck out the 260 lb. days.
I don't have to tell you how 185 happens, but just in-case: rare encounters with cookies/drive-through speakers/crunchy fried stuff/etc, drinking water and protein shakes instead of Irish Carbombs, working out like 5-6x a week, preparing for a run at hollering at as many women as I could before I got 'old' (mid-30s) and settled down, etc'.
How does the same guy end up weighing 260? Well...recurring groin and knee injuries, cheetos/cookies/crunchy shit/drinking, WORK, stress/life drama, getting loved up and laying on the couch 'watching movies' more than standing up and running, negligence, etc.
I weigh 225 after dropping about 10 lbs in the last couple months. 190-200 is the aim. I'll do it.
But to be clear, I'll repeat...the 185 lb. days beat the fuck out the 260 lb. days. The volume of 'I think she wants this DIIIIICK' smiles/looks/comments that I could hear in the distance, the general helpfulness in public situations...ESPECIALLY clothing stores in the mall...females of all sizes, ages, and shapes would have me trying on multiple shits just to see a nigga in snug shirts. They'd ask me 'offensive' questions, smile and laugh at nearly everything I said like I was Raw-era Eddie (a nigga got jokes, but c'mon), touch me in situations and places where touching wasn't even remotely necessary, etc.
Simply put y'all, THAT SHIT WAS GREAT! Especially since I had been a fat ass before (and a couple times after). I felt like I had entered the Contra code on life! And I was NEVER like 'with all this attention, I don't feel like my body is mine..and don't call me honey'. I was more on some LSG 'my body all over yo body, babe!' steez even when I wasn't gonna holla most of the time. I was sponsoring Crest and Colgate during those days...and I still do whenever any chick comes at me as something other than 'sir'.
So, from that frame of reference, I release a statement to all women who receive hollers: while I can appreciate the gender differences, wanting to feel safe, dudes being corny or not letting it go being annoying, etc....you aren't a victim! Aka take the fucking compliments and calm down. Don't let that day come that you aren't getting hollered at before you appreciate the shit for what it is! Respond positively when you are interested or TRY to let cats down easy and get outta there when you aren't! It isn't a damn mountain to climb or some insurmountable issue in random day-to-day encounters! And if it is, the shit is an ant hill compared to being fat/unattractive/disabled/deformed every day.
Jimaveli
>Isn't she any okay?
>
>
>http://cityroom.blogs.nytimes.com/2013/03/01/using-walls-to-talk-back-to-unwelcome-compliments/?smid=fb-share
>
>Using Walls to Talk Back to Unwelcome ‘Compliments’
>By JULIE TURKEWITZ
>Posters on a wall on Tompkins Avenue in Bedford-Stuyvesant,
>Brooklyn, try to make the point that some comments to women
>aren't welcome. “These things make you feel like your body
>isn’t yours,” the artist says.Robert Stolarik for The New York
>Times Posters on a wall on Tompkins Avenue in
>Bedford-Stuyvesant, Brooklyn, try to make the point that some
>comments to women aren’t welcome. “These things make you feel
>like your body isn’t yours,” the artist says.
>
>Shorty. Sweetie. Sweetheart. Baby. Boo. If you’re a woman,
>you’ve probably heard it.
>
>If you were to respond, what would you say?
>
>Last fall, Tatyana Fazlalizadeh began replying — through her
>art — to the dozens of men who approached her in public each
>week. As night fell, she slipped out of her Bedford-Stuyvesant
>apartment armed with a bottle of wheat paste, a couple of
>posters and a paintbrush, and began to pepper Brooklyn with
>messages:
>
>“My name is not Baby.” “Women are not seeking your
>validation.” “Stop telling women to smile.”
>
>Since September, Ms. Fazlalizadeh has plastered walls in
>Bedford-Stuyvesant, Bushwick, Clinton Hill and Williamsburg.
>As winter came and night temperatures dropped, though, she
>retired her paintbrush. “The wheat paste starts to freeze
>before it actually dries,” she said. “So the paper wasn’t
>holding.”
>
>But as slightly warmer weather has returned, so have the
>messages. She recently tossed up two posters on the corner of
>Tompkins Avenue and Halsey Street in Bedford-Stuyvesant. And
>Ms. Fazlalizadeh, 27, an Oklahoma-born oil painter,
>illustrator and after-school art teacher, was headed back out
>Friday night. “I’d like them to be out in Manhattan
>somewhere,” she said.
>
>The project grew out of a desire to explain that for many
>women, “hey sweetums” or “let’s see that smile” isn’t a
>compliment. “These things make you feel like your body isn’t
>yours,” she said.
>
>Of course, her target audience may still need convincing. On
>Friday afternoon, Andrés Carlos, 50, stood by the freshly
>pasted posters on Tompkins Avenue. “A woman likes nothing more
>than being told she is beautiful,” he said. “For me, this is
>ridiculous.”
>
>A friend of his, Richard Johnson, 29, passed by. Mr. Johnson
>is married, and no longer calls at women on the street. But he
>did his share of aggressive flirtation. Did women respond
>negatively? “Sometimes,” he said. Did he stop? “No,” he said.
>“I’m persistent.”
>--------
><--------- my cousin
>www.richardlouissaint.com
>photobloggin' it:
>http://blog.richardlouissaint.com
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