saw a video post where a dude with his young daughter got approached by a man (and 2 others in the area) with a gun...

dude talks to the armed guy for a second...looks like he's being robbed but there is no audio...

all of a sudden dude just up and hauls ass

everyone is outraged that he didn't scoop up lil girl...but they left little girl alone

i don't particularly care about what people think is the right thing to do...but of course when expressing that it wasn't really a better option than picking her up (two birds, one bullet)

here comes the typical "Do you have kids?" BS

as if that is the only way people can be self-sacrificing

i have never seen that deflection work as planned

EDIT:

video: https://www.facebook.com/video.php?v=10154786639305144&fref=nf

Let me sport my Air Hyperbole 2010s in peace. (c) ansomble

Building repetoires (c) spm since 1983

so I don't see where you being a parent made a difference.

--------------------------------

one half of the most dynamic tag team on the net...nappyafro's FROCAST!

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..he's gettin' robbed @ gunpoint, and he skates LEAVIN' HIS OWN DAUGHTER???

fuck the bullshit debate about people usin' "parenthood" as a trump card.

WHAT PARENT RUNS OFF AND LEAVES THEIR CHILD AT THE MERCY OF AN ARMED ASSAILANT???




*skatin' the rings of saturn*


..and miles to go before i sleep...

***
I'm tryna be better off, not better than...

..i don't care what it takes

you don't leave your child in fear of an armed assailant.

give up the goods (wallet, purse, jewelry, etc.), file the police report, and keep it movin'.

i wish a nigga would. if i'm a parent, and this is how the S/O handled the situation, you might as well keep runnin' © forrest gump.

you might've survived that encounter, but you're dead to me.


*skatin' the rings of saturn*


..and miles to go before i sleep...

but i definitely wouldn't have run with her in my arms as many people were suggesting...that's actually worse to me

the goods could have been access to his house which could have had more kids in it...which is why i need audio to do more "judging"

i try not to judge in life/death situations by what i think is right...but more in a "did it work" type of shit

Let me sport my Air Hyperbole 2010s in peace. (c) ansomble

Building repetoires (c) spm since 1983

..this nigga ran for nothin'

its fairly obvious they didn't want him (or his daughter), they wanted access to the house.

he still made all the wrong moves.

thankfully, the girl was unharmed.



*skatin' the rings of saturn*


..and miles to go before i sleep...

but i feel you

if you look at all the options what were they and which was the best

1.) Stay and deny entry

Risk/Result: undetermined but likely beaten, shot, or nothing in front of daughter but daughter still likely unharmed

2.) run with daughter

Result: caught and back at square 1 if not shot, self and daughter at risk of being shot

3.) run solo

Result: What happened or shot out of view of daughter

These negros was suggesting #2 which is the worse option imho lol

Let me sport my Air Hyperbole 2010s in peace. (c) ansomble

Building repetoires (c) spm since 1983

..i just can't rock with "run & leave your daughter to fend for herself."




*skatin' the rings of saturn*


..and miles to go before i sleep...

but it worked...they chased after him and appeared to leave her alone

i wouldn't have left

but i also didn't hear the audio...it looked like old boy was trying to get let into his house...i dunno what or who was in the house but dude just broke out...

hauled ass..one dude jiggled the door knob with the lil girl walking around like "yo, dad..."

Let me sport my Air Hyperbole 2010s in peace. (c) ansomble

Building repetoires (c) spm since 1983

no, you don't need to have kids to be self-sacrificing. Soldiers have been throwing themselves on grenades as long as there have been grenades, but that too is a special bond that doesn't make sense to outsiders.

anybody who has a loved one that they feel responsible for has experienced those thoughts

i do think that some things are better understood as a parent but that

a.) this isn't one of them

b.) it's rarely used in those situations

Let me sport my Air Hyperbole 2010s in peace. (c) ansomble

Building repetoires (c) spm since 1983

If I was walking in the woods with my wife or mom and a tiger jumps out, my first instinct is to get the fuck out of there. If I'm walking in the woods with my daughter and a tiger jumps out, my first instinct is to protect her.

scratch the elderly one, lol

i'm doing the same a parent would if it's my niece, nephew, or anyone

parenthood is like a relative with more responsibility

but family isn't binary like that...if you aren't the youngest in your family...chances are you have that same bond sans parenthood

Let me sport my Air Hyperbole 2010s in peace. (c) ansomble

Building repetoires (c) spm since 1983

"parenthood is like a relative with more responsibility"

All parents were at some point, not parents. So they are the only ones who have the experience to speak on the difference between being a parent and not a parent.

It's kind of like racism. We would all give the side eye if a white person tried to tell a black person what white on black racism feels like.


**********
"Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson

http://blackpeopleonlocalnews.tumblr.com/

just b/c you are a parent - your experience is not universal.

not all parents feel what you feel for your child(ren).

some parents do feel about their kids as Ric described.

fuck you.

>just b/c you are a parent - your experience is not
>universal.
>
>not all parents feel what you feel for your child(ren).
>
>some parents do feel about their kids as Ric described.

>just b/c you are a parent - your experience is not
>universal.
>
>not all parents feel what you feel for your child(ren).
>
>some parents do feel about their kids as Ric described.


**********
"Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson

http://blackpeopleonlocalnews.tumblr.com/

sure.

fuck you.

that dude can't speak to what it's like to be a parent if he is not a parent. He has no basis for doing so.



**********
"Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson

http://blackpeopleonlocalnews.tumblr.com/

good for you.

fuck you.

and prioritized the safety of their child over their own,
they still can't really speak on it.

well, they can.
but they don't really know.



>"parenthood is like a relative with more responsibility"
>
>All parents were at some point, not parents. So they are the
>only ones who have the experience to speak on the difference
>between being a parent and not a parent.
>
>It's kind of like racism. We would all give the side eye if a
>white person tried to tell a black person what white on black
>racism feels like.
>
>
>**********
>"Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then
>they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson
>
>http://blackpeopleonlocalnews.tumblr.com/

describing what parenthood is like. If he isn't a parent, he has no basis for doing so.

**********
"Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson

http://blackpeopleonlocalnews.tumblr.com/

he can't have talked to parents in-depth.

he can't have parented/fostered children.

b/c he hasn't knocked up some woman who carried a child to term and then gave birth to it he cannot speak on what parenting feels like. not even based on observed experience. not even based on similar experience. no. b/c you, BG, need to be able to disregard something he said that you don't like you are ADAMANT that he can't speak on parenting b/c he's not a biological father.

right.

fuck you.

Let me sport my Air Hyperbole 2010s in peace. (c) ansomble

Building repetoires (c) spm since 1983

ever notice that?

LOL

fuck you.

.

_______________________________________

"I'm gonna treat OKP better during the 2nd half of the year. So, expect new things and better dialog."
~Case_One

and said "let me tell you what it's like to be a black gay male, it's okay, I've talked to and have observed a lot of black gay males" you would take him seriously as well.


**********
"Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson

http://blackpeopleonlocalnews.tumblr.com/

my very limited-scope comment about parenting is not me telling you what parenting is like...

but since you seem hellbent on thinking that...

the accuracy of those statements is what would make it ok...not whether or not he has been a parent

Let me sport my Air Hyperbole 2010s in peace. (c) ansomble

Building repetoires (c) spm since 1983

as Abby translated it it make sense. I am now addressing SoWhat's point that he doesn't have to be a parent to speak on being a parent.


**********
"Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson

http://blackpeopleonlocalnews.tumblr.com/

that's not the point of this post...and if you have such trouble understanding me...ask for clarification before you engage

having an argument that essentially is:

you cant do this unless...blah

vs

you can do this without...blah

without offering any real reasons as to why besides idiotic analogies is not worth treating with anything but derision

Let me sport my Air Hyperbole 2010s in peace. (c) ansomble

Building repetoires (c) spm since 1983

you really think that's the only frame of reference i understand.

my god. how limited you are.

anyway, i have had str8 ppl talk to me about gay experiences even though they're not gay. i don't routinely dismiss them just b/c they're not gay. especially once they reveal the source of the info.

fuck you.

If I had known the example would offend you I would have just used a white woman telling you what's like to be a black man.

I know I would be dismissive, especially if it didn't ring true for me.

**********
"Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson

http://blackpeopleonlocalnews.tumblr.com/

good for you.

fuck you.

You do routinely dismiss people because of their perceived authority on a subject. You do that more than anyone else here....and I like reading your posts.

I agree with you on this issue. You don't need to have kids to empathize with blah blah blah....but that's a principle you never practise unless you're on the other end of it. Like here for instance. Whenever you are part of the perceived 'authoritative' side...you are totally dismissive.

Awaits childish retort. lol

And when you've seen me do what you whine about its not bc they're not gay it's likely bc they said something stupid or bc I don't value their opinion bc I don't like or think much of them - or bc they're presenting a strawman or are derailing or teasing. But not just bc they're not gay.

Read better and stop your melodramatic whining.

fuck you.

as a child of a parent

as a peer of mainly other parents

as a godparent

as an uncle

as a grandson

i've experienced the same protective stance that parents often have...

if you can't pinpoint the distinction or why it's different...

then you probably shouldn't just be relying on what u consider my life experience to invalidate my opinion

Let me sport my Air Hyperbole 2010s in peace. (c) ansomble

Building repetoires (c) spm since 1983

i mean, it's nice for us to all think about what we would do,
but...

>as a child of a parent
>
>as a peer of mainly other parents
>
>as a godparent
>
>as an uncle
>
>as a grandson
>
>i've experienced the same protective stance that parents often
>have...
>
>if you can't pinpoint the distinction or why it's
>different...
>
>then you probably shouldn't just be relying on what u consider
>my life experience to invalidate my opinion

bond between parent and child that is unlike other bonds.

But, as you've said, that bond does not negate or diminish other bonds that can be just as strong.

When people say, "you're not a parent, so you don't understand," it's dismissive, condescending and quite ignorant.

_______________________________________

"I'm gonna treat OKP better during the 2nd half of the year. So, expect new things and better dialog."
~Case_One

just not necessarily in the "protective" area

some people are like that with their spouses...some aren't...but most people experience it at some point in time with someone...whether they have kids or not

Let me sport my Air Hyperbole 2010s in peace. (c) ansomble

Building repetoires (c) spm since 1983

I am not talking about protective relationships. Of course anyone can be as protective over someone else like a parent is protective of a child. I am making the very general point that a non-parent can't speak to what it is like to be a parent simply because they are not a parent.


Yes you can talk about what it's like to be:

a child of a parent
a godparent
an uncle
a grandson

But you have no ability to speak to what it's like to be a parent if you are not a parent. How could you?



**********
"Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson

http://blackpeopleonlocalnews.tumblr.com/

if you can think of (other) ways the "but are you a parent?" question isn't a dismissive deflection (like I've presented in this post) then why not bring those up in a non-general ass statement?

Let me sport my Air Hyperbole 2010s in peace. (c) ansomble

Building repetoires (c) spm since 1983

You said this ""parenthood is like a relative with more responsibility"

I responded you have no basis for saying this because you are not a parent.

And Yeah, because you have no basis for making such a statement since you are not apparently, it's easy to be dismissive of your observation that "parenthood is like a relative with more responsibility".


**********
"Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson

http://blackpeopleonlocalnews.tumblr.com/

do i need to explicitly state that i'm talking about the protective aspect of it every time i try to discuss it?

Let me sport my Air Hyperbole 2010s in peace. (c) ansomble

Building repetoires (c) spm since 1983

i can't speak from my own experience, but i can speak on it.

you know how?

b/c i've talked to parents. b/c i've observed parents. b/c i've read about parents. b/c i've been parented.

i can speak on what it's like to be a parent.

fuck you.

and we know how you'd respond to that.

my goodness. that was a brilliant analogy.

i'm stunned by it.

fuck you.

human behavior is not unique to being a parent, but to having experienced the desire/need to protect

You can have feelings to protect w/o being a parent

Does being a parent make for an additional set of factors? Yes.
But you don't have to be a parent to experience basic human nature.


Regarding the phenomenon of parenting, you are right, the only person who can speak on the lived experience of being a parent is a parent. Just like, you can't tell me what it's like to be a black woman because you are not a black woman. But that does not mean that you can't relate to my experiences as a black woman from the perspective of a black man who might have experienced similar lived experiences.

_______________________________________

"I'm gonna treat OKP better during the 2nd half of the year. So, expect new things and better dialog."
~Case_One

and overextended the theory

Let me sport my Air Hyperbole 2010s in peace. (c) ansomble

Building repetoires (c) spm since 1983

I agree with everything you typed.

**********
"Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson

http://blackpeopleonlocalnews.tumblr.com/

they don't.

fuck you.

you aren't going to find uniformity in any group.

don't have similar relationships with those in their charge?

im not saying the relationship has to be the same...

but it definitely provides insight to the maternal/paternal extinct people have

even in nature it's been shown to be inconsistent and not based on whether or not it's a parent/child relationship

Let me sport my Air Hyperbole 2010s in peace. (c) ansomble

Building repetoires (c) spm since 1983

fuck you.

nm

that's not due to lack of bonding.

you don't *mature* into paternal instincts.

ALL mothers feel a bond w/their children. b/c they carry them and nurse them.

uh huh.

except a mother was the first to introduce me to the idea that much of what's said about parental instincts is bullshit. including the stuff about maternal instincts.

she never felt them. and ppl made her feel like she was a deficient woman b/c of it. yrs later she is still struggling w/reconciling that issue - not the lack of bond but the derision she received from just about everyone b/c of it.

so - yeah. one example of ONE mother who didn't feel this 'bond' blows that point that ALL parents feel this bond.

MOST parents feel it. yes. but not ALL.

fuck you.

to have kids to understand" ninjas.

then i had a kid.

________
http://twitter.com/aehorton
http://instagram.com/aehorton

its' not like we've had kids our whole lives. We now know that we didn't understand before.

What have you learned in 2 months as a parent that has changed your perspective on this issue?

fuck you.

EDIT: i understand how annoying it is for parents to pull that "you dont understand because you dont have kids" bullsh*t. and a lot of times, it's not even accurate. but generally speaking, beyond the specific context of this post, there are things that are specific to being a parent that most (many?) non-parents will not have the same perspective or insight on, more often than not. this happens with everything, but for some reason, the whole children thing is a very sensitive subject to both parties. i know it's not envy, bc i def didnt envy people w/ kids. but it's something about the smugness and dismissiveness of folks w/ kids that seems to be what drives all of this "YOU'RE NOT SPECIAL JUST BECAUSE YOU HAVE KIDS" sh*t.

________
http://twitter.com/aehorton
http://instagram.com/aehorton

you said you used to feel one way before the kid and now 2 months later you feel differently.

what did you mean?

what do you now understand after 2 months of parenting that you didn't understand 2 months ago?

fuck you.

you receive an envelope with the meaning of life in it. and that's just for starters.

________
http://twitter.com/aehorton
http://instagram.com/aehorton

what else?

fuck you.

although one of the kittens was acquired out of wedlock, so maybe i didn't qualify.

i can't debate every shift in thinking i've had over the last two months related to parenting. and can't claim that every single one of those changes are impossible or even unlikely for non-parents to understand. but, there are very few life moments where the volume of these changes in thinking occur so quickly and dramatically. im sure that doesn't happen to every parent, and parenthood isnt the only event that triggers similar dramatic changes in thinking, but since most parents have been both childless and with child, parents have a bit of and advantage when comparing the two.

i'm rambling, but more important than all that i just typed, when my child was born i also automatically became better on the grill and am far more drawn to linen, bluetooth's kangols and sandals.

________
http://twitter.com/aehorton
http://instagram.com/aehorton

i got my 4 week old kitty. so i understand everything that comes w/parenting.

fuck you.

unless you like the whole bleeding shins look. but putting up with that pain is a feeling only us cat owners can truly understand.

________
http://twitter.com/aehorton
http://instagram.com/aehorton

i'm quite wise in the ways of parenting b/c i've done it for 14 yrs.

which means i'm better than you b/c you've only done it for 2 months.

you'll find that parents who have more kids than you or whose kids are older than you have more authority to speak on all parenting issues. and they will let you know that when it's convenient for them b/c you disagree w/something they've said.

fuck you.

without kids do to new parents.

>you'll find that parents who have more kids than you or whose
>kids are older than you have more authority to speak on all
>parenting issues. and they will let you know that when it's
>convenient for them b/c you disagree w/something they've
>said.

________
http://twitter.com/aehorton
http://instagram.com/aehorton

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8zLx_JtcQVI

fuck you.

________
http://twitter.com/aehorton
http://instagram.com/aehorton

**********
"Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson

http://blackpeopleonlocalnews.tumblr.com/

i mean...i haven't seen the video in question, but how you're describing it.

THAT dude had kids.

so....

i still blame hip-hop.

Let me sport my Air Hyperbole 2010s in peace. (c) ansomble

Building repetoires (c) spm since 1983

you may know how you'd LIKE to react,
but unless it happens, you don't and can't know for sure.
it's an automatic response.

unless you can point to a time when you were IN a life or death situation
and you did _____ ,
it's all just hot air.

that's my take on it.

whether or not you have children is irrelevant, in this situation.

>you may know how you'd LIKE to react,
>but unless it happens, you don't and can't know for sure.
>it's an automatic response.
>
>unless you can point to a time when you were IN a life or
>death situation
>and you did _____ ,
>it's all just hot air.
>
>that's my take on it.
>
>whether or not you have children is irrelevant, in this
>situation.

there's a way i hope i would react but I don't know for sure until I'm in that situation.