I first use to think my Homey's problem was that there was a disconnect between the girls he liked and what he could reasonably expect to pull. (You know people like this? What usually happens to them?) I'd see him go at girls but was just a terrible closer (I blame the all male school he went to).

But now we are going on a full decade and the occasional story I would hear about him and some girl that didn't work out are beginning to sound like self-sabotage or something else is going on. I am like what's up with the girls in your current resident city? Oh, they all wack. Even though it's like one of the top 5 biggest metropolitan areas in the country but whatever.

He doesn't seem to be living the players life because even those dudes show up with dates occasionally.

Of course everyone wants to say gay but dude definitely seems to have a taste for women. His porn stash was voluminous. I've known girls that he has smashed and they were the type of girls you smash on the low so no one knows you smashing girls below your stated grade.


Awkward dating skills would explain a few years of never having a girl but now we approaching a decade and a half of a dude who claims he is trying but has never had a girlfriend during that period. Dude is attractive enough, great pedigree and none of the other potential dating superficial knocks.

Know people like this?

**********
"Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson

http://blackpeopleonlocalnews.tumblr.com/

just guessing

i dunno. had a homie like this. really can't call it.

♚♚♚♚

#BYLUG >>> https://goo.gl/1ooFp6

♚♚♚♚

screamin' mothafuck a 12 /
bitches ain't shit /
cops ain't neither /
they huntin' my people /

- i. rashad

♚♚♚♚

**********
"Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson

http://blackpeopleonlocalnews.tumblr.com/

.

♚♚♚♚

#BYLUG >>> https://goo.gl/1ooFp6

♚♚♚♚

screamin' mothafuck a 12 /
bitches ain't shit /
cops ain't neither /
they huntin' my people /

- i. rashad

♚♚♚♚

all dat?!!?!?

**********
"Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson

http://blackpeopleonlocalnews.tumblr.com/

once alotta chicks hit 30+ - they tryna draft & get drafted

♚♚♚♚

#BYLUG >>> https://goo.gl/1ooFp6

♚♚♚♚

screamin' mothafuck a 12 /
bitches ain't shit /
cops ain't neither /
they huntin' my people /

- i. rashad

♚♚♚♚

>I first use to think my Homey's problem was that there was a
>disconnect between the girls he liked and what he could
>reasonably expect to pull. (You know people like this? What
>usually happens to them?) I'd see him go at girls but was
>just a terrible closer (I blame the all male school he went
>to).
>
>But now we are going on a full decade and the occasional story
>I would hear about him and some girl that didn't work out are
>beginning to sound like self-sabotage or something else is
>going on. I am like what's up with the girls in your current
>resident city? Oh, they all wack. Even though it's like one of
>the top 5 biggest metropolitan areas in the country but
>whatever.
>
>He doesn't seem to be living the players life because even
>those dudes show up with dates occasionally.
>
>Of course everyone wants to say gay but dude definitely seems
>to have a taste for women. His porn stash was voluminous. I've
>known girls that he has smashed and they were the type of
>girls you smash on the low so no one knows you smashing girls
>below your stated grade.
>
>
>Awkward dating skills would explain a few years of never
>having a girl but now we approaching a decade and a half of a
>dude who claims he is trying but has never had a girlfriend
>during that period. Dude is attractive enough, great pedigree
>and none of the other potential dating superficial knocks.
>
>Know people like this?

I knew one guy who for years wasn't interested in women, then suddenly was and within a couple of years was with the woman he's now married to.

It could be something superficial, or he might have an issue with intimacy that stems from something deeper. Does he seem happy enough though?

Just IMO though.

-

the lacking in confidence part comes from you saying he aims low

**********
"Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson

http://blackpeopleonlocalnews.tumblr.com/

I'm only 25, but with age comes an awareness of who you are and a lack of giving of fuck (not a lack of responsibility but a lack of caring about others opinions)

You know your strengths and weaknesses and either learn to makes your strengths work for you or make a concerted effort to limit your weaknesses

-------------------------------
If life is stupendous one cannot also demand that it should be easy. - Robert Musil

one's most serious relationship was with someone he met on World of Warcraft.

i think a few are stuck in a trap where they don't think they're good enough for anyone they think is good enough. that self-hatred/unrealistic expectation occupying the same space battle.

i still blame hip-hop.

Edit: Minus the world of warcraft part. lol.
---------
sig:
I got Chad in my heart and DJ Screw in my cup.

Twitter: @chuy_vuitton

i dunno if i have any advice other than try to make realistic self assessments in who you are and what type of person really makes you happy.

i still blame hip-hop.

Sounds like he knows what he wants (whether or not it's actually realistic is another discussion), but in the meantime is doing what he has to do to get his

________________________________________________________________________________
Niggas made aliases.

Says he wants a relationship.

**********
"Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson

http://blackpeopleonlocalnews.tumblr.com/

I've known this dude for 10 years. We've lived together for 5.
Never once has homie brought a girl home.
Not once.

He's recently gotten up on the e-dating scene, and he's been going out on dates here and there... but he has never brought a chick to anything we were doing, never gone home with a girl at the end of the night, nothing.

Knowing what his room looks like, I wouldn't wanna bring a girl into that pit either but...

I can't believe the shit sometimes.

He doesn't know how to act sometimes though... likes to argue too much.
He almost argued me out of getting some one night. Met these girls at the club, they asked for a ride home since they cabbed there. On the way back to the car he starts arguing with them about whether or not the color purple is a good move. One, women love that film. Two, you just met these girls and you're arguing some nonsense. Be funny or something.

--

"You can't beat white people. You can only knock them out."

"NO. NO. NO! WRONG! WRONG! WRONG!

ANNGHHHH! TRY AGAIN!"




lol @ no chill

sometimes there are issues with looking in the wrong place, or having messed up "criteria"

but yeah...they theory has held thus far

**********
"Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson

http://blackpeopleonlocalnews.tumblr.com/

http://board.okayplayer.com/okp.php?az=show_topic&forum=4&topic_id=12640698&mesg_id=12640698&listing_type=search

**********
"Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson

http://blackpeopleonlocalnews.tumblr.com/

Or, he's really just taking his time based on the landscape and his plan for life. He may spend a few months with a female and then realize that the person is not someone that he needs to be with for the long-term. Eventually he will find the fit for him.



.
.
KC Putting In That Work: http://www.hudl.com/athlete/2107910/highlights
.
.
"There are no rocks at the top, haters have them all at the bottom and that's you."

have him...

***
I'm tryna be better off, not better than...

lack of social skills or confidence. it doesn't have to be a conspiracy. he'll probably meet some girl and wife her up soon enough...or maybe he won't *shrugs*

http://www.youtube.com/user/gumzization
twitter: @BrosefMalone

need to have?


**********
"Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson

http://blackpeopleonlocalnews.tumblr.com/

Some game has to be taught and learned.


.
.
KC Putting In That Work: http://www.hudl.com/athlete/2107910/highlights
.
.
"There are no rocks at the top, haters have them all at the bottom and that's you."

**********
"Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson

http://blackpeopleonlocalnews.tumblr.com/

.
.
KC Putting In That Work: http://www.hudl.com/athlete/2107910/highlights
.
.
"There are no rocks at the top, haters have them all at the bottom and that's you."

your resume pretty much never entitles you to anyone's affection.

i still blame hip-hop.

www.royallegacy.org

For Real (Official Video):
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hBRoCPO8esE

have initiative...be proactive...close the deal as you put it...have good judgement in regards to who he approaches...be willing to "play the game"...

i mean there is more to it than being a certain age, having money and having an education. you still have to put yourself out there.

http://www.youtube.com/user/gumzization
twitter: @BrosefMalone

.
.
KC Putting In That Work: http://www.hudl.com/athlete/2107910/highlights
.
.
"There are no rocks at the top, haters have them all at the bottom and that's you."

As someone who fits that description exactly, and has no game or social skills, I can tell you that just having positive stats doesn't make you a woman magnet. Unless you're exceptionally handsome, you have to go out and actively pursue. And if you're awkward or lacking confidence, you'll almost always fail.


_______________________________
gamblers and masturbators.

http://mixcloud.com/urkelmoedee

PSN: UrkelMoeDee

its not 1950. we make our own paychecks.

and just like most things you won't get good results unless you practice.

______________________________________

Everything looks like Oprah kissing Harvey Weinstein these days

________
http://twitter.com/aehorton
http://instagram.com/aehorton

Hes a church boy and always been career focused

graduated from UT early

forgot what his degree is in

but dudes a consultant making bank and traveling the world

its amazing what can be accomplished with no women n kids to slow u down




but im banned tho.
____________

Dallas Cavericks LETS GO!!

if so, hook him up with me

**********
"Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson

http://blackpeopleonlocalnews.tumblr.com/

here for dis.

im perpetually single and i think im enough of a good catch to say that i'd date myself.

i think a large amount of single black men 35+ are either MAJOR self sabotagers or arent willing to seriously date a woman who isnt at least a league ahead of theirs.

I really need you to reread everything you just typed and really THINK about the impression you're giving off here.

here for dis.

what impression?

with someone that according to their own friend doesn't have high self or dating esteem.
where in ANY of what he's typed leads you to believe that he might be a suitable partner for your wants/needs?

then you make it about you (in the wrong way) with the statement about being perpetually single and that you would date yourself.
That's great
however we're talking about someone else with their own issues and quirks that have nothing to do with you. Those issues that impair their dating experiences were there before you got there and more than likely will last longer than your situationship (i hate that this is even a term nowadays but when the shoe fits...).

don't be so focused on the end result (serious relationship) that you lose sight of what's needed to get there.

here for dis.

i skimmed through most of the replies, but nothing about this dude stuck out to me as him having low self or dating esteem.

i was "making it about myself" to say that just because someone is perpetually single and may have some quirks and issues does not mean theyre a bad catch. because i dont think im a bad catch and i have quirks and issues. and maybe two people that both have quirks and issues will understand each other well.

i dont really see anything off or wrong with that. i actually have a thing for dudes who are somewhat clueless in the dating game and still want to be in relationships.

>i dont really see anything off or wrong with that. i actually
>have a thing for dudes who are somewhat clueless in the dating
>game and still want to be in relationships.

(and I am being 100% genuine)

>i skimmed through most of the replies, but nothing about this
>dude stuck out to me as him having low self or dating esteem.

*blink*

>i was "making it about myself" to say that just because
>someone is perpetually single and may have some quirks and
>issues does not mean theyre a bad catch. because i dont think
>im a bad catch and i have quirks and issues. and maybe two
>people that both have quirks and issues will understand each
>other well.

Just because you don't see yourself as a bad catch doesn't mean that the other person with quirks and issues is automatically a good one.

>i dont really see anything off or wrong with that. i actually
>have a thing for dudes who are somewhat clueless in the dating
>game and still want to be in relationships.

http://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users16/chillidog2/default/doh-homer-simpson-doh--large-msg-123569393438.jpg
please tell me how ANY of this has worked out for you so far
Your heart is worth more than playing a game of emotional connect the dots with people that don't know which way is up in any meaningful connection-worthy sense.

here for dis.

>>i skimmed through most of the replies, but nothing about
>this
>>dude stuck out to me as him having low self or dating
>esteem.
>
>*blink*
>
>>i was "making it about myself" to say that just because
>>someone is perpetually single and may have some quirks and
>>issues does not mean theyre a bad catch. because i dont
>think
>>im a bad catch and i have quirks and issues. and maybe two
>>people that both have quirks and issues will understand each
>>other well.
>
>Just because you don't see yourself as a bad catch doesn't
>mean that the other person with quirks and issues is
>automatically a good one.

i never said he was automatically a good catch; i just said i would give him a chance. him having quirks and issues isnt a dealbreaker for me. thats it.

>>i dont really see anything off or wrong with that. i
>actually
>>have a thing for dudes who are somewhat clueless in the
>dating
>>game and still want to be in relationships.
>
>http://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users16/chillidog2/default/doh-homer-simpson-doh--large-msg-123569393438.jpg
>please tell me how ANY of this has worked out for you so far
>Your heart is worth more than playing a game of emotional
>connect the dots with people that don't know which way is up
>in any meaningful connection-worthy sense.

lol thats the thing. i havent had many opportunities to date men who are clueless about dating and still want relationships. so i dont know how it works, but i would like to see.

all i'm saying is that i would give him a chance. i never said i wanted him as a boyfriend.

dating is fucking hard. im not mad at the person that hasnt mastered it. i dont automatically assume that he doesnt know how to emotionally connect with someone because theres just so much that can go wrong when youre trying to do that. im just not in a position to judge dude, so yes, i would give him a shot.

>dating is fucking hard. im not mad at the person that hasnt
>mastered it. i dont automatically assume that he doesnt know
>how to emotionally connect with someone because theres just so
>much that can go wrong when youre trying to do that. im just
>not in a position to judge dude, so yes, i would give him a
>shot.
>

is having quirks and issues an absolute dealbreaker?
no
no one is perfect
HOWEVER
you can be self-aware enough to know what you can work with and to know what quirks/issues lead to situations where love simply cannot grow
again no one is perfect
but just because no one is perfect doesn't mean EVERYBODY gets to take a shot at the basket.

here for dis.

so why shouldnt he get a shot?

he wants a relationship. he's had bad luck and/or bad judgment. i can relate to that. so i dont see why he shouldnt get a shot.

I swear FA GAWD you want that validation of having one of these admittedly emotionally clueless guys "choose" you more than you want to find love in a healthy, supportive relationship.
We both want you to find love
I just want you to find a love that truly nurtures you.

here for dis.

why do you think hes emotionally clueless?

"validiation","choose"--i'm not going there with this. if thats what i was aiming for, i'd go for more of a challenge, like someone who didnt want to be in a relationship.

>I swear FA GAWD you want that validation of having one of
>these admittedly emotionally clueless guys "choose" you more
>than you want to find love in a healthy, supportive
>relationship.

this just flat out isnt true. i mean...lol. come on. you have to know im smarter than that. i want a healthy supportive relationship period. the circumstances in which that happens are secondary. which is why i wonder if that would be easier with someone who's had a rough time.

http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_maojs7DBEh1rzbvsto1_250.gif

I <3 you
but I can't anymore

here for dis.

you dont have to answer of course but im wondering what im not seeing.

dude probably is a good guy

but this approach screams desperation

you have very little info about him, but you want to be set up because at this point YOU'LL TAKE ANYTHING

^that's what it looks like^

_______________________________________

"I'm gonna treat OKP better during the 2nd half of the year. So, expect new things and better dialog."
~Case_One

the very little info i have about him includes: good on paper + not good/bad luck with dating + wants a relationship. i can relate to that. people tend to do well with people they can relate to.

...but giving someone with the same circumstances as mine a chance makes me "look like" i'll take anything?

i stand firm that theres nothing wrong with giving dude a shot. i dont see dude as bottom of the barrel just because he sucks at dating. and it rubs me the wrong way that this guy is being labeled as unworthy or incapable of a good relationship simply bc he sucks at dating.

nowhere did buddy say hes an asshole, a womanizer, lazy, commitment-phobic, cheap, mean or any other character flaw. so im calling bs on the critique.

.

_______________________________________

"I'm gonna treat OKP better during the 2nd half of the year. So, expect new things and better dialog."
~Case_One

and i know youre saying this is how it looks and not what you actually think. i just wanted to address it.

.

_______________________________________

"I'm gonna treat OKP better during the 2nd half of the year. So, expect new things and better dialog."
~Case_One

but im banned tho.
____________

Dallas Cavericks LETS GO!!

______________________________________

Everything looks like Oprah kissing Harvey Weinstein these days

trying to get chose. nothing wrong with that.

http://www.youtube.com/user/gumzization
twitter: @BrosefMalone

here for dis.

On him for exercise! Ugh I thought his singleness was a problem for u.

prototype

stand ur ground, believe in urself,
believe in love, prepare urself for love, remove the negativity from ur life, and accept the love u kno u deserve

Lots of fun, smart and is great company. Also he knows how to act when he wants to turn it on (everyone's parents love him).

He has his set of issues which are probably self of steam (c) Black Twitter based, probably drinks too much, but he is going to be a great catch for someone.

I was just tripping that someone would ask to be introduced based on the limited picture I drew up to that point.

We out in the streets though I would be the ultimate wing man.


**********
"Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson

http://blackpeopleonlocalnews.tumblr.com/

prototype

stand ur ground, believe in urself,
believe in love, prepare urself for love, remove the negativity from ur life, and accept the love u kno u deserve

Cause when the cock come in...they gonna have to use the same scales...


You know what, I didn't think this reply all the way through.

"They used to call me Baby Luke....but now? The whole damn 2 Liiiive Crew."

money problems and feels like the doesn't have enough money to survive and date.


This combo then snowballs into self esteem issues.

---------------------------------------
blog: www.wonderfullyhorrible.blogspot.com
instagram: Fishgrease
twitter: wooly_caesar
Podcast www.soundcloud.com/circlegang

> His porn stash was voluminous.

maybe homie needs to lighten up on it cuz it's making him awk around women or killing his motivations cuz he already shot his load.

or he's just wack and making excuses so his boys (you) don't clown him for being wack

-------------------------------
If life is stupendous one cannot also demand that it should be easy. - Robert Musil

>> His porn stash was voluminous.
>
>maybe homie needs to lighten up on it cuz it's making him awk
>around women or killing his motivations cuz he already shot
>his load.
>
>or he's just wack and making excuses so his boys (you) don't
>clown him for being wack


4 Better or 4 Worse

when he finds one that is, he thinks *he* isn't good enough.

Rinse. Repeat.


Eventually he'll settle with a woman he's not crazy about but who puts up
with too much from him because he sees it as "loyalty."

>Eventually he'll settle with a woman he's not crazy about but
>who puts up
>with too much from him because he sees it as "loyalty."