jon b - they dont know

my first day in north carolina i met *HER*. bennett bell from dc(i love dc women), freshman, stayed primped up. i met her and all her friends at the same time. i got her number and we chatted. i summed her up as not worth it and left it at that.

fast forward 2 years. im in a relationship with a younger girl, im cheating on her, she is salty and is making me cut off my female friends and i aint havin it. so i dump her. and remeet *HER*. funnny thing is the girl who made me remeet her is a girl who i had been in love with since my first day in north carolina. i met her an hour after i met *HER* and i had been chasing her ever since to no avail, i mean we had sex and whatnot but whats sex when you want the whole thing? at anyrate she hooked me up with *HER*. we went on a date, talked about my disintegrating relationship and clicked off bat.

that night in my car when i picked her up she had jon b with her. and i told her i wasnt playin that wack shit, we laughed and she told me i would hear it before the night is over. movies, dinner, park... jon b. she touched my hand and told me "i would have never imagined you to turn out to be this cool" and jon b sang.

i wrote her a poem about that night. i still have the poem i wrote her i believe it was called S.S.I.K. sexual stimulations inherent knowledge or some shit. i read it to her a few weeks later in my bed. she was a virgin and wasnt givin up no ass. but she liked me. she gave me the promise of ass. then she told me she was gonna be going online for delta soon so we may not have time to spend or talk and asked if i could deal. i said i could. she said cool. we had a celebration later that week, cards exchanged and and jon b sang.

she left that cd in the player that night went on line. i dealt. then the ex came back....

"make up sex just makes a mess/a bad situation at best we was takin a rest/ tryna sweat away the stress but that shit dont work/ it just trivialize the lies and compromise the hurt"

i was there to watch *HER* cross, she gave me the biggest hug and i told her how proud i was of her. she heard about the ex being reinstated but she kept it all above board and said we would always be friends. told me she met someone else in the absence of my shoulder to lean on. i was jealous but i hid it well, im good at that. she was there for all my bday/house parties thereafter and even for the graduation party that the girl who i left her for didnt attend.

she married the guy who waited for her and knowing *HER* he is probably a happy husband, proud dad, and a best friend richer.

www.donwill.substack.com

long painful story short:

dealing with this guy who has a beautiful voice, i'll call him the singer
and dealing with another guy i shouldn't have been, let's call him mr. wrong
felt like i was falling in love with the singer
but was still trying to figure out what was going on with mr. wrong before i proceeded elsewhere

mentioned to the singer this was my favorite track off the album
told him i'd love to hear him sing it
didn't think too much of it after that

two days later mr. wrong is over my house
we're discussing "us"
the singer calls and says he has a surprise for me
starts singing "butterflies"
sang the whole song *PERFECTLY*, high notes and everything lol
said he'd spent the last two days learning it ~just for me~
couldn't keep the smile off my face, or my feelings for him out of my voice
hung up, turned around to be confronted with "who was that" from mr. wrong

butterflies kinda became "our song" from that point on
(at least to me anyway)

decided then that mr. wrong and i were finished
gave my heart to the singer, who took his time destroying it and then handed it back to me in little pieces and now i can't listen to that song

it hurts too bad


bleh.

don't let me forget to email you my address don, okay?

wfreeman7d6@hotmail.com

www.donwill.substack.com

so did you celebrate last night?

(sadly, i did not dream last night, or at least if i did, i don't remember it.. dammit and i was looking forward to it too lol)

nigga.

Perk up.

this is precious.

*********************
I've been diggin' U 4 such a long time
U don't even know that I'm alive
Something 'bout the way U walk just really blows my mind
Sorry but I'm sick of all this jive
Ok?

***********************
wouldn't you love to love me?

she was teaching high school

still happily married but not ready for a child

sounded a little bit more jaded about life than i remembered

she was happy to hear from me and told me to stay in touch

i erased her number

www.donwill.substack.com

>i erased her number

Once I get it in my head to erase the number, that's when I'm over the hump...or at least trying to get over it.

Peace,

*** MARBLES ***

that shit was excruciating

but i had to do it

i was just so curious

im happy for her tho

www.donwill.substack.com

why u gotta get me thinkin' again.
i was goin' good this week. No dreams or nothin'

anyway:
Higher - D'angelo
Ribbon in the Sky - Stevie

and that's enough of that !

//////

TANYA MORGAN - MOONLIGHTING
"this group has singlehandedly saved hip hop" - rolling stone magazine




when it comes to donwill, the beatmaker says:
he owes me a mcgriddle. i produced his 5 EP box set maxi single "hoes dont really care about us" and all i charged him was a mc donalds mcgriddle. you think i got my damn mcgriddle??

www.donwill.substack.com

all good dreams/memories on this end.
just hope I don't start talking in my sleep one night...

//////

it reminds me of someone.

peace
Shiloh

that song sucks...

(im just kidding)

www.donwill.substack.com

.

TANYA MORGAN - MOONLIGHTING
"this group has singlehandedly saved hip hop" - rolling stone magazine




when it comes to donwill, the beatmaker says:
he owes me a mcgriddle. i produced his 5 EP box set maxi single "hoes dont really care about us" and all i charged him was a mc donalds mcgriddle. you think i got my damn mcgriddle??

www.donwill.substack.com

id take the stars out the sky for you/theres nuthin in the world i wouldnt do/if i could be your girl
and it used to come on the radio when we would be driving n shit..and he'd be all goofy and sing along in jamaican accent
another one that reminds me of him is that one by sean paul, "still in love wit u", and "song cry" by jay z makes me want to STAB MYSELF!!!!!
all over the same moron.

whoa . . . song cry and mya/beenie man both can make me cry too.

but over two different poor excuses for men :-\

.

---how do you ask a 12 y/o if they took your weed?

make me think of the illicit summer fling this chick and i had. i left those memories back in DC and they kinda need to stay there...

__________
"Justice is really love in calculation. Justice is love correcting that which revolts against love..." - MLK

wow...

i dont know...

id have to play them

its stevie man

www.donwill.substack.com

it's just conjures up old feelings that need to left alone...

maybe more time needs to pass...

__________
"Justice is really love in calculation. Justice is love correcting that which revolts against love..." - MLK

me and the ex used to cool out to that jawn...reminds me of when shit was good, if i listen to it i find myself wanting to call so i refuse to listen, its for my own good

::::NEW MUSIC:::


_____________________________

Ricochet aka Ric Ruger
MiDniGhT HEAT Productions
WE GOT BEATS NOW!!!
Scream At Me


"i'm a non violent, gun busting, uplifting, ice and nike rocking, earth loving, one woman whore, and my music reflects all of that..." - me



Stank You, Smelly Much

"Fuck A Quote" - Me (again)

http://chegrand.blogspot.com/2010/08/i-havent-given-up-this-place-just-yet.html

but its prolly a jam being that its dwele

www.donwill.substack.com

unfortunately until i'm fully recovered from that whole situation, that song aint gettin anymore spins....

:::NEW MUSIC:::


_____________________________

Ricochet aka Ric Ruger
MiDniGhT HEAT Productions
WE GOT BEATS NOW!!!
Scream At Me


"i'm a non violent, gun busting, uplifting, ice and nike rocking, earth loving, one woman whore, and my music reflects all of that..." - me



Stank You, Smelly Much

"Fuck A Quote" - Me (again)

http://chegrand.blogspot.com/2010/08/i-havent-given-up-this-place-just-yet.html

TANYA MORGAN - MOONLIGHTING
"this group has singlehandedly saved hip hop" - rolling stone magazine




when it comes to donwill, the beatmaker says:
he owes me a mcgriddle. i produced his 5 EP box set maxi single "hoes dont really care about us" and all i charged him was a mc donalds mcgriddle. you think i got my damn mcgriddle??

www.donwill.substack.com

***
when I come around, they frown
then wanna dap me down
but when I leave?

TANYA MORGAN - MOONLIGHTING
"this group has singlehandedly saved hip hop" - rolling stone magazine




when it comes to donwill, the beatmaker says:
he owes me a mcgriddle. i produced his 5 EP box set maxi single "hoes dont really care about us" and all i charged him was a mc donalds mcgriddle. you think i got my damn mcgriddle??

www.donwill.substack.com

we just didnt listen to that song as much as "Without You"

another joint thats done with is at least half of Musiq's 2nd Album...she had a nigga with that cd f'real

:::NEW MUSIC:::


_____________________________

Ricochet aka Ric Ruger
MiDniGhT HEAT Productions
WE GOT BEATS NOW!!!
Scream At Me


"i'm a non violent, gun busting, uplifting, ice and nike rocking, earth loving, one woman whore, and my music reflects all of that..." - me



Stank You, Smelly Much

"Fuck A Quote" - Me (again)

http://chegrand.blogspot.com/2010/08/i-havent-given-up-this-place-just-yet.html

***
when I come around, they frown
then wanna dap me down
but when I leave?

to these arms thats made for you

lets try
we can work it out if we
let love decide
the way that you feel for me

good god damn

www.donwill.substack.com

***
when I come around, they frown
then wanna dap me down
but when I leave?

sung by phil collins...
that is the ONLY song i can't really hear at all...it reminds me of my grandmother dying and her funeral....like seriously don't play it at all and turn the radio...i can't even really type this cuz it's making me think about it..soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.....


sometimes i can't hear, "sometimes it snows in april" by prince for the same reason...but only sometimes....

************************************************************
we've never been out around other tittie like that (c) esco


a lil' self promo 4 the '04:

Cop Don Diva Magazine's 4th Anniversary Issue (Pimp Cup on the Cover) for my first ever published article on IT'S ON NEWSTANDS NOW!!! CHEA!

boston playas catch me playing guest host as i interviewed RuffRyder artist Jin on Tuesday @ 11:30pm on channel 23

New York peep me interviewing the likes of Wycleff, Raekwon, Dwele, Anthony Hamilton and more on on Bronxnet Friday, 1am, ch. 68

...and merci esco 4 helping me prep 4 some of these interviews

____________________________________________________________

(c)ed from ed, edd and eddy

,myself with a dash of

...
we understand you can easily come back and we're not impressed. how about getting a life first.� okpdan

and when i clicked the song to hear it there was nothing there

like its the appropriate length but its totally silent

the entire lp is like that

coincidence?

www.donwill.substack.com

been since september 25, 1986....i guess i'll get over it someday... /

************************************************************
we've never been out around other tittie like that (c) esco


a lil' self promo 4 the '04:

Cop Don Diva Magazine's 4th Anniversary Issue (Pimp Cup on the Cover) for my first ever published article on IT'S ON NEWSTANDS NOW!!! CHEA!

boston playas catch me playing guest host as i interviewed RuffRyder artist Jin on Tuesday @ 11:30pm on channel 23

New York peep me interviewing the likes of Wycleff, Raekwon, Dwele, Anthony Hamilton and more on on Bronxnet Friday, 1am, ch. 68

...and merci esco 4 helping me prep 4 some of these interviews

____________________________________________________________

(c)ed from ed, edd and eddy

,myself with a dash of

...
we understand you can easily come back and we're not impressed. how about getting a life first.� okpdan

aside from the fact that its a shitty song...


HER. My first true love, man. A WEEK after we broke up, she got THAT NIGGA singin this shit to her as her voicemail message.

sucks too cuz rush hour is one of my favorite movies, gotta shut that ho off before it reaches the credits.

***
when I come around, they frown
then wanna dap me down
but when I leave?

howdeepisyolovefome?
blahdahdahdahbunbuhbe...

yeah thats a pretty bad one

i feel you tho

www.donwill.substack.com

umm...she wasnt....

*it is what it is*


go here ---> www.shujen.com/

OK, go now

www.myspace.com/shujen

.

---how do you ask a 12 y/o if they took your weed?

think, "ripe, strecth, tear"

*it is what it is*


go here ---> www.shujen.com/

OK, go now

www.myspace.com/shujen

***
when I come around, they frown
then wanna dap me down
but when I leave?

TANYA MORGAN - MOONLIGHTING
"this group has singlehandedly saved hip hop" - rolling stone magazine




when it comes to donwill, the beatmaker says:
he owes me a mcgriddle. i produced his 5 EP box set maxi single "hoes dont really care about us" and all i charged him was a mc donalds mcgriddle. you think i got my damn mcgriddle??

www.donwill.substack.com

*it is what it is*


go here ---> www.shujen.com/

OK, go now

www.myspace.com/shujen

.

---how do you ask a 12 y/o if they took your weed?

quit talkin dirty

*it is what it is*


go here ---> www.shujen.com/

OK, go now

www.myspace.com/shujen

.

---how do you ask a 12 y/o if they took your weed?

My ex sang this entire song to me one night. What's so special is that he can't hold a note, but he sang it anyway and he did a good job too. We have a child together so I'll never be able to fully forget about him but everytime I hear this song I think of our happy times together and how special he made me feel that night.

---how do you ask a 12 y/o if they took your weed?

that you can dwell on the good times

especially with a child involved

www.donwill.substack.com

.

---how do you ask a 12 y/o if they took your weed?

Maaannnn my h.s. sweetheart and I used to rock this cd all the time when we were doin our thing. That song was "our" song....so I always skip it when it gets to that part now.....she was crazy

It takes years to become an overnight success...

**Listen Online Now** www.DJSpontaneous.podomatic.com

twitter.com/SpontaneousDJ

*almost*

www.donwill.substack.com

weight in gold.

culture club-do u really want to hurt me
i was 7 mom my picked me and my brother up from the sitters it was grey outside raining. As my mom turned to get on the highway she saddly informed us that my fathers oldest brother had passed away from his 3rd stroke at the age of 32....That song was playin and all i could do was cry...cant listen to it still to this day.

http://okp.hypnagogics.com/

http://okp.hypnagogics.com/

http://okp.hypnagogics.com/

but thats some shit...

i think im gonna write a book about the ones that got away

there are so many

im such an asshole

www.donwill.substack.com

Got the album on the strength of "Why Don't We Fall In Love". Gave it a good listen all the way thru. Nothing mind-blowing about the album but it wasn't bad. Middle of the road.

Until "All I Have". Listening to the lyrics, I realize that it was exactly what she was thinking. Except she never conveyed that to me. I never got that one last kiss. She just left me.

Not broke up with me. She left me. No note, no phone call, nothing.

We had been having a rough time, but a lot of factors were contributing to that and they were all about to come to an end. I wasn't mad that she wasn't into it anymore, but I was angry at howw she did it.

Even though I have a new girl that's incredible, I still think about the other one a lot.

Peace,

*** MARBLES ***

***
when I come around, they frown
then wanna dap me down
but when I leave?

its still up there on the boards

the girl who i deemed crazy

she left me in the same fashion

luckily we didnt have a song

but i so feel you on this shit

and that amerie song is the shit

www.donwill.substack.com

yo this chick i was into had me on one w. no seat bealt on. she had my mind, some real fuk up stuff. call her house one day here at wk, and her ex anws her phone. next thing i know im in tha ambulance on my way to tha hospital. i had anxiety attach here at wk. could not breath. so i had to cut her off. bfo i would have been flat on my back w. my eyes closed lookin at tha roof of tha church.

*luv ya self, believe in ya self. be true to ya self, be you for ya self, do you.

jaguar wright, self luv.

just damn dog

www.donwill.substack.com

thats why im single. i refuse to let my mental health go loca for someone...its happened too much in the past. anxiety attacks, throwing up, shaking, heartrate stopping, all that shit. its NOT HEALTHY!!
these 2 dudes, because of them alone i began to meditate and do yoga!!

peace
Shiloh