I'm bored as shit. Wife's asleep. Feel like making shit up.

Name a celeb, I'll tell a fake anecdote. Let's see how this goes...

*Jews you*

"this is okp tho, reading is completely optional" (c) desus

Proceed with caution. I am overtly racist.

<-- In Pigpen we trust

And you will know MY JACKET IS GOLD when I lay my vengeance upon thee.

he was the guest speaker at a luncheon. it wasn't even noon, and this dude was fucking HAMMERED.

Started talking about the illuminati and how we were all just a bunch of puppets... he got booed off stage, and then threw his glass at the other speaker (a former astronaut). Luckily, he missed.

This was about 8 years ago, I hope he's cleaned up since then.

*Jews you*

"this is okp tho, reading is completely optional" (c) desus

Proceed with caution. I am overtly racist.

<-- In Pigpen we trust

And you will know MY JACKET IS GOLD when I lay my vengeance upon thee.

-------------------------
“Floyd Mayweather should be taking fights up to 157 or 160 pounds...His frame can hold the weight..it's not even a lot of weight....Go to the gym and lift weights man..lol.”-- Warren Coolidge

He was sitting at the table next to me at an Ethiopian restaurant. He was with a bunch of FOI, they were celebrating because one of them just became a father for the first time.

He stands up to speak, and the table immediately goes silent. I figure he's gonna have some words of wisdom about fatherhood or something... you could not prepare me for what came next.

"A woman has just given birth to her first child and is resting in the hospital room. The doctor walks into her room with her new arrival and exclaims 'oh my goodness, this baby can fly!!!' He picks up the baby and tosses it in the air, and it lands with a sickening thud. The parents are looking at him in horror. He shouts 'you don't understand, I saw it with my own eyes! look!' and tosses the child again. Once more, the baby slams onto the ground.

the father is enraged, and is about to pummel the doctor. He takes two steps forward and cocks his fist, and the doctor calmly says 'relax, relax! I was just kidding.... it was stillborn.'"

The whole table of FOI just stared at him in saddened disbelief as he was doubled over laughing at his own joke.

I thought it was funny, but my laughter brought the discomfort level from an 8 to a 10. I got out of there shortly thereafter. That place has dope stews, though.

*Jews you*

"this is okp tho, reading is completely optional" (c) desus

Proceed with caution. I am overtly racist.

<-- In Pigpen we trust

------------------------------

50+ FREE Mixes on www.DJR-Tistic.com!

Twitter and Instagram - @DJ_RTistic

-------------------------
“Floyd Mayweather should be taking fights up to 157 or 160 pounds...His frame can hold the weight..it's not even a lot of weight....Go to the gym and lift weights man..lol.”-- Warren Coolidge

*Jews you*

"this is okp tho, reading is completely optional" (c) desus

Proceed with caution. I am overtly racist.

<-- In Pigpen we trust

And you will know MY JACKET IS GOLD when I lay my vengeance upon thee.

I was up in Columbus and went to my boy's apartment, and Redd was there. This was before his freshman season, so he was just the tall guy at the party, I didn't know who the fuck he was.

Anyways, we're playing drunk Cranium, and this dude is peeking at the answers for every. fucking. card.

I called him out on it, and he threw a beer on me. We were gonna scrap, but Scoonie Penn pulled him out of there, which was how I first realized that he was even on the team.

*Jews you*

"this is okp tho, reading is completely optional" (c) desus

Proceed with caution. I am overtly racist.

<-- In Pigpen we trust

.

<---
Fuck a sig, my presence is enough.

give her 3 or 4 Malibu and Pineapples and she'll let you have a peek.

*Jews you*

"this is okp tho, reading is completely optional" (c) desus

Proceed with caution. I am overtly racist.

<-- In Pigpen we trust

*poof*

but I remember one time, about 4 years ago, when I passed out on your couch after a long night of jack and coke, mixed with blunts, beers, and a marathon 6 hour Mario Golf game on N64. I woke up, and your boy Teddy had shaved off one of my eyebrows. I had a job interview 2 days later that was awkward as shit, lmao. Wish you hadn't filmed it, though...

*Jews you*

"this is okp tho, reading is completely optional" (c) desus

Proceed with caution. I am overtly racist.

<-- In Pigpen we trust

And you will know MY JACKET IS GOLD when I lay my vengeance upon thee.

I can't tell you how many weddings he fucked up for me, just for the laughs.

*Jews you*

"this is okp tho, reading is completely optional" (c) desus

Proceed with caution. I am overtly racist.

<-- In Pigpen we trust

And you will know MY JACKET IS GOLD when I lay my vengeance upon thee.

he keeps a snow shovel in the trunk of his car, so that when he goes places in the winter, he can help clear the parking lots of assisted living facilities that he happens to drive past. One time we were waiting on line at Tower Records (shows how long ago this was, lol), and he struck up a conversation with the person on line behind us about Miles Davis. Next thing you know, he excuses himself from the line and comes back with 8 copies of Kind of Blue - one for each person on line who heard the convo. He paid for it, naturally.

who the fuck does that???

*Jews you*

"this is okp tho, reading is completely optional" (c) desus

Proceed with caution. I am overtly racist.

<-- In Pigpen we trust

mistermaxxx R.Kelly, Michael Jackson,Stevie wonder,Rick James,Marvin Gaye,El Debarge, Barry WHite Lionel RIchie,Isleys EWF,Lady T.,Kid creole and coconuts,the crusaders,kc sunshine band,bee gees,jW,sd,NE,JB

Miami Heat, New York Yankees,buffalo bills

I have been after him for years for the recipe. I can't put my finger on it, but there is something in that soup that just makes my taste buds do backflips. Between that soup and Tito's falafel, dinner with the Jacksons has me fasting a couple days in advance to prepare my stomach.

*Jews you*

"this is okp tho, reading is completely optional" (c) desus

Proceed with caution. I am overtly racist.

<-- In Pigpen we trust

And you will know MY JACKET IS GOLD when I lay my vengeance upon thee.

------------------
One Hundred.

sorry.

*Jews you*

"this is okp tho, reading is completely optional" (c) desus

Proceed with caution. I am overtly racist.

<-- In Pigpen we trust

------------------
One Hundred.

Me and Jalil were bowling at Woodhaven Lanes in Queens, it was our regular Tuesday night league game.

Dude has like a 230 average, he was the star of the team, and had us in position to take our third straight league title.

We're in the semis, and we're up by about 15 pins. Jalil's up, so we figure it's money in the bank.

First roll, he foot faults! over the line, wtf. That wasn't even the worst part. Going over the line, he slipped on the wax and split his pants. He stands up........ and this motherfucker is wearing pink lace boyshorts underneath his pants.

you could hear a mouse fart. both teams just stopped in complete stunned silence. He didn't panic, didn't say shit. Just waited for his ball to return, grabbed it, put it in his bag, and walked out of the bowling alley without saying a word.

We forfeited, and I haven't seen or heard from him since. I miss my friend. I hope he's doing well, and is happy in whatever choices he's made since then.

*Jews you*

"this is okp tho, reading is completely optional" (c) desus

Proceed with caution. I am overtly racist.

<-- In Pigpen we trust

------------------
One Hundred.

---
"though time has passed, im still the future" (c) black thought

my jaw was on the goddamned floor.

We were at the movies, catching a matinee of Up. Naturally, he's pretty recognizable. These three (cute) french teenagers come running up to him for autographs, just before the trailers start. They're giggling and hysterical, and snapping photos, the whole time rambling and babbling in French.

I have no idea wtf they're saying, when all of a sudden, Yao breaks out perfect French to these girls. Not just that he knew the words, but he has the accent of a native speaker.

The blonde one fainted. I think she might have peed herself a little bit. After her friends picked her up and pulled her out of there, he told me that he learned french by watching lectures about Jerry Lewis. Apparently, he's a huge fan of the Nutty Professor (he didn't care for the Eddie Murphy version, though).

Sidenote: He cried during the opening sequence of Up. Like a baby.

*Jews you*

"this is okp tho, reading is completely optional" (c) desus

Proceed with caution. I am overtly racist.

<-- In Pigpen we trust

mistermaxxx R.Kelly, Michael Jackson,Stevie wonder,Rick James,Marvin Gaye,El Debarge, Barry WHite Lionel RIchie,Isleys EWF,Lady T.,Kid creole and coconuts,the crusaders,kc sunshine band,bee gees,jW,sd,NE,JB

Miami Heat, New York Yankees,buffalo bills

I was working at a record store, and they did an in-store appearance. The one thing I'll always remember is that he asked us to go to the Cinnabon in the food court and get him a plain one.

Who the hell wants a PLAIN cinnabon?!?!?!?!

Place was packed to the gills with 12 year old girls wanting to see them though.

*Jews you*

"this is okp tho, reading is completely optional" (c) desus

Proceed with caution. I am overtly racist.

<-- In Pigpen we trust

____________
Twitter & IG: @rulerofmyself
SC: rulerofmyself17

Yes! She's on the drugs. (c) BoHagon

I was drinking alone at a bar on the east side. I was coming out of a long relationship, and was kinda down. Sandy walks in (she always thought Sigourney was a pretentious name, and prefers Sandy in private), comes right up to me, and kisses me on the mouth.

"you look like you needed that" she said with a wink.

I don't know if she knew I was going to be there or not, we hadn't spoken in months. But I could always count on her to pick me up when I was down. Before she even kissed me, just seeing her walk in lifted my spirits a bit.

We chatted for a bit, had a few rounds, and she made me forget my troubles for a bit. I'll always remember that. We don't talk as much as we used to, but I am forever grateful to her for that night.

*Jews you*

"this is okp tho, reading is completely optional" (c) desus

Proceed with caution. I am overtly racist.

<-- In Pigpen we trust

she had been a vaudeville actress, and once had an affair with Harpo Marx. They went to a steakhouse in West Hollywood, and according to her, he had three separate steak dinners in one sitting. She also told me that according to Oliver, Stan wasn't as much of a "straight man" off camera....

*Jews you*

"this is okp tho, reading is completely optional" (c) desus

Proceed with caution. I am overtly racist.

<-- In Pigpen we trust

mistermaxxx R.Kelly, Michael Jackson,Stevie wonder,Rick James,Marvin Gaye,El Debarge, Barry WHite Lionel RIchie,Isleys EWF,Lady T.,Kid creole and coconuts,the crusaders,kc sunshine band,bee gees,jW,sd,NE,JB

Miami Heat, New York Yankees,buffalo bills

I'll start you off.....

Fidel Castro

We were at a party at Neve Campbell's house, and he got in an argument with Ian Ziering, who slapped him so hard that the beard came off.

He started crying. Cried, picked up the beard, and ran out the house.

*Jews you*

"this is okp tho, reading is completely optional" (c) desus

Proceed with caution. I am overtly racist.

<-- In Pigpen we trust

------------------------------

50+ FREE Mixes on www.DJR-Tistic.com!

Twitter and Instagram - @DJ_RTistic

*poof*

he must have dropped 75 N-bombs in 30 minutes, and described in GRAPHIC detail, intimate encounters with Camille. The crowd was too stunned to laugh or applaud.

*Jews you*

"this is okp tho, reading is completely optional" (c) desus

Proceed with caution. I am overtly racist.

<-- In Pigpen we trust

And you will know MY JACKET IS GOLD when I lay my vengeance upon thee.

------------------------------

50+ FREE Mixes on www.DJR-Tistic.com!

Twitter and Instagram - @DJ_RTistic

it takes a muscle.

*Jews you*

"this is okp tho, reading is completely optional" (c) desus

Proceed with caution. I am overtly racist.

<-- In Pigpen we trust

And you will know MY JACKET IS GOLD when I lay my vengeance upon thee.

_____________________________

<----- Genesis is deep my features are that of a God


http://illeskobar.deviantart.com/
http://thisiskyleskorner.blogspot.com/

It was me, him, my neighbor Jerry, and Frankie Muniz.

Kadeem made this nasty seven layer dip that he used to bring every week. How do you screw up seven layer dip? Ask Kadeem. This went on for months. We'd be playing and he'd constantly be like "guys, try some of the dip! it's great!" and never getting the hint when he was the only one touching it.

After like four months, Jerry finally broke down and snapped on Kadeem. Told him that the dip was nasty as fuck, and he should stop making it, and apologize to every Mexican he saw for insulting their culture with this disgusting shit. Kadeem punched Jerry right in the face, and they started scrapping. By the time it got broken up, Frankie wound up wearing the seven layer dip that night.

The following week, Kadeem showed up and apologized for losing his temper. He said he understood that it wasn't personal, and we were still cool. Then he lifts up his bowl, and shows us that for this week, he made a six layer dip.

We threw him out.

*Jews you*

"this is okp tho, reading is completely optional" (c) desus

Proceed with caution. I am overtly racist.

<-- In Pigpen we trust

>The following week, Kadeem showed up and apologized for losing
>his temper. He said he understood that it wasn't personal, and
>we were still cool. Then he lifts up his bowl, and shows us
>that for this week, he made a six layer dip.
>
>We threw him out.

peace

J305
___________________

People of color are NOT a minority. Think Global.

Don't Let Hollywood fool you.

http://www.twitter.com/Jtronic
http://www.last.fm/user/Jtronic

New Mantra: anti-gentrification, cheap alcohol & trying to look pretty in our twilight posting years (c) Big Reg


Get 25% off www.karmaloop.com w/ rep code JR9103 |
Nike, G-Star, Herschel, Adidas (Men's & Women's clothing)

The weekend of Rosh Hashanah, we had a bunch of guys who couldn't make the game. Our third baseman Steve Horowitz knew Ye, and asked if he could fill in.

When I tell you that this guy is the greatest kickball player that ever lived, I am not exaggerating. Much like Jim Brown with lacrosse, the world will never truly understand that the legendary performer they see in front of them could have been equally legendary in something else.

Over the course of the 3 day weekend, we played 5 games (some were make ups of rainouts). In five games, he went 24 for 25 with 21 homers. We won all five games, and he had walk-off homers in each of the last 2 games.

After we celebrated his last walkoff homer (which put us into the playoffs), Steve said to Kanye, "holy shit, who knew you were so great at kickball?!?!? You're a God, dude!"

Kanye went perfectly still.

"I..... am a God?"

He grabbed the scorebook and pen, started scribbling, and sprinted away towards his car.

*Jews you*

"this is okp tho, reading is completely optional" (c) desus

Proceed with caution. I am overtly racist.

<-- In Pigpen we trust

*skatin' the rings of saturn*

https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=B7E8dge7H8Y


..and miles to go before i sleep...

----------------------------------
www.maxptah.com
"you gotta be real white to hate on a nxgga for eating." (c) okp infin8

Drinking was involved, and there was a huge crowd gathered from the party to watch a race on the boardwalk between Bolt (with Sam Jack on his back) against Peter Dinklage on a bicycle.

Dinklage got off to a good start, but Bolt hit his stride and took it in the last 15 meters. As they crossed the finish, Sam shouts out "I'm the king of the wooooooooorld!" like Leo DiCaprio in Titanic.

Epic night. That wasn't even the best part of the night. Clare Danes. A Cucumber. A garden salad that would never be the same.

*Jews you*

"this is okp tho, reading is completely optional" (c) desus

Proceed with caution. I am overtly racist.

<-- In Pigpen we trust

And you will know MY JACKET IS GOLD when I lay my vengeance upon thee.

_____________________________

<----- Genesis is deep my features are that of a God


http://illeskobar.deviantart.com/
http://thisiskyleskorner.blogspot.com/

_____________________________

<----- Genesis is deep my features are that of a God


http://illeskobar.deviantart.com/
http://thisiskyleskorner.blogspot.com/

He's seen her in concert 197 times. That is not a made-up figure to exaggerate his fandom. He keeps the ticket stubs in his wallet. One Hundred Ninety Seven Times. He traded one of his Bulls championship rings for one of her red guitars, straight up.

*Jews you*

"this is okp tho, reading is completely optional" (c) desus

Proceed with caution. I am overtly racist.

<-- In Pigpen we trust

He's never gonna release his album, because he's self-aware enough to realize that he won't be taken seriously, no matter how good it is. But he let me hear it after dinner one night, and this shit is an instant classic. Think GKMC meets Paid in Full.

Also, he gives incredibly sensual back massages.

*Jews you*

"this is okp tho, reading is completely optional" (c) desus

Proceed with caution. I am overtly racist.

<-- In Pigpen we trust

*Jews you*

"this is okp tho, reading is completely optional" (c) desus

Proceed with caution. I am overtly racist.

<-- In Pigpen we trust

mistermaxxx R.Kelly, Michael Jackson,Stevie wonder,Rick James,Marvin Gaye,El Debarge, Barry WHite Lionel RIchie,Isleys EWF,Lady T.,Kid creole and coconuts,the crusaders,kc sunshine band,bee gees,jW,sd,NE,JB

Miami Heat, New York Yankees,buffalo bills

My grandmother made her famous noodle pudding for the occasion. Gordon took one bite, spit it out on her, and said he now understood why the holocaust happened. He got up, put his napkin on the table, and walked out. My grandmother hasn't cooked since.

*Jews you*

"this is okp tho, reading is completely optional" (c) desus

Proceed with caution. I am overtly racist.

<-- In Pigpen we trust

mistermaxxx R.Kelly, Michael Jackson,Stevie wonder,Rick James,Marvin Gaye,El Debarge, Barry WHite Lionel RIchie,Isleys EWF,Lady T.,Kid creole and coconuts,the crusaders,kc sunshine band,bee gees,jW,sd,NE,JB

Miami Heat, New York Yankees,buffalo bills

Shaq was walking around with a Zorro mask on his face, going up to folks like "guess who?"

try to imagine the lily white, purebred version of "mugfucker u shaq" as the only 7'1 350 pound guy at the party tried to act like people didn't know who was behind the eye shield.

by the end of the night, he was legitimately upset each time people successfully guessed who he was. After about 3 hours, he threw the mask off in disgust, and shouted "fools! it was I, Shaquille, the whole time!" and then threw a smoke bomb and lumbered out the front door.

That was a crazy party. I remember heading off to an upstairs bedroom with Jo from The Facts of Life, but I don't remember much after that...

*Jews you*

"this is okp tho, reading is completely optional" (c) desus

Proceed with caution. I am overtly racist.

<-- In Pigpen we trust

mistermaxxx R.Kelly, Michael Jackson,Stevie wonder,Rick James,Marvin Gaye,El Debarge, Barry WHite Lionel RIchie,Isleys EWF,Lady T.,Kid creole and coconuts,the crusaders,kc sunshine band,bee gees,jW,sd,NE,JB

Miami Heat, New York Yankees,buffalo bills

I was hanging out backstage with Warren G (me and him go waaaaaaay back), and Quik shows up like an hour and 45 minutes early for his set.

He's looking scared as fuck, but won't talk to anyone. Me and Warren are trying to calm him down, but he just keeps saying "I can't stay here."

finally, he just runs out on stage (damn near no one is there yet because he's not due on for another hour and a half), and performs his whole album start to finish, including interludes.

He finished up about half hour before the show was supposed to start, when people were first trickling in. Then he just walked off the stage and headed for the door.

The owner was pissed, and said he still had to do his set. Quik was just like "you paid me for an hour, I did an hour. You didn't say when I had to do it. call my lawyer, but you better have my money."

The owner didn't know what the fuck to do on such short notice. The only other performer in the building was Warren, and he was drunk as shit by this point, because he wasn't supposed to even be performing.

Desperate, the owner asked me to help get Warren on stage. I succeeded, and we performed Regulate 11 times in a row (Hardcore Gentlemen style!). Only Warren was so drunk that he couldn't remember his verses, so from the second time on, I did his verses, and he sang Nate Dogg's parts. The crowd ate it up, even though they had no idea who I was. Epic night, all things considered.

*Jews you*

"this is okp tho, reading is completely optional" (c) desus

Proceed with caution. I am overtly racist.

<-- In Pigpen we trust

------------------------------

50+ FREE Mixes on www.DJR-Tistic.com!

Twitter and Instagram - @DJ_RTistic

im dying fam lol

_____________________________

<----- Genesis is deep my features are that of a God


http://illeskobar.deviantart.com/
http://thisiskyleskorner.blogspot.com/

mistermaxxx R.Kelly, Michael Jackson,Stevie wonder,Rick James,Marvin Gaye,El Debarge, Barry WHite Lionel RIchie,Isleys EWF,Lady T.,Kid creole and coconuts,the crusaders,kc sunshine band,bee gees,jW,sd,NE,JB

Miami Heat, New York Yankees,buffalo bills

back in the day, she was a burlesque dancer. you know those tassels that dancers wear on their nipples? she invented those. They used to call her Tassels Blumenthal.

Up and down the East Coast she would tour, doing her risque dances. she was the jewish josephine baker in her day. At the height of her fame, Tassels Blumenthal made headlines by refusing to perform in segregated titty bars. That was where she met Bill Withers, at the first integrated strip club in Memphis.

For about three months, the two of them were shacked up together, ordering in room service each night so they didn't have to get dressed. No phone calls, no letters, almost no contact with the outside world at all. She cancelled gigs all over the country to stay in that hotel room. Her star level took a nose dive, but she didn't care. Despite all the fame and fortune that she achieved, she cherished those three months with Bill above all else. It ended when she got in "a delicate condition" and decided to keep it, and he wouldn't marry her.

To this day, if I'm going to a bachelor party, she'll tell me which clubs to go to. If I tell the owner that Tassels Blumenthal is my aunt, we get instant VIP service. Bottles, private rooms, free lapdances, you name it. Happened once at a club in Montreal, where the owner didn't even speak english. As soon as he heard the name Tassels Blumenthal, he was all "sacre bleu!" and giving us free shit.

*Jews you*

"this is okp tho, reading is completely optional" (c) desus

Proceed with caution. I am overtly racist.

<-- In Pigpen we trust