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Subject: "heterosexual privilege." This topic is locked.
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BlankStare
Member since Jul 29th 2003
5201 posts
Fri Dec-26-14 03:28 AM

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"heterosexual privilege."


  

          

in the eleventh grade, i was outed to my mother by the attendance counselor at my school for holding hands with another girl. i was falsely accused of being lewd in the school and making the school look bad...for being gay, even though i had never engaged in any sexual act with a girl or even had a girlfriend. this man went to my internship and said the same thing to my supervisor there. he told teachers and faculty that i, a straight-a honor society student, taking classes at george washington university at 15 years old, as well as achieving in athletics for two schools in dc...that i made them look bad. for holding hands with a girl.

my mother immediately forbade all girls from calling my house, forced me to go to church DAILY, made all the church officials pray for me then accused me of resisting my deliverance. i was not allowed to leave my house unless i was escorted. i couldn't play ball without constant supervision, even in the locker rooms during halftime. all of my female friends were harassed. i was forced to wear skirts three times a week to school and forced to wear my hair out. i was beat, kicked out, verbally maimed, disowned financially, and dismissed by those i loved and unable to outlet to anyone who understood. i got to college, thinking i was free, and was discriminated against by administrative officials and teachers. i was denied independent status even though my parents had disowned me, but they made too much for me to receive financial aid. financial aid told me that since my sexuality was a CHOICE, it was my own fault. it is my seventh year and i'm finally graduating.

after coming out, i wanted to die. i hated life. i hated myself. but i never hated heterosexuals. and it boggles me how some heterosexuals can show disgust for love that has nothing to do with them. or condemn a day that doesn't even have anything to do with them. i go to the pride parades because it is the the ONLY place i can express myself openly without fear of being attacked, accosted, or verbally abused.

so if you are one who can find a reason to hate on pride parades, then fuck you very much. bitch my mother doesn't love me...i got bigger problems. to the heterosexuals who show love and tolerance...peace.

below is a list of SOME of the HETEROSEXUAL privileges. it's a long list, isn't it???

-Blank

1. I can go into a music store and find the language of my sexual orientation represented in the lyrics.

2. Television and movies reflect my relationships in widely diverse and nonstereotypical ways.

3. My children are given texts and information at school that validates my sexual orientation.

4. Society encourages me to marry and celebrates my commitment.

5. As a responsible and loving parent, I won't lose my children in a custody battle because of my sexual orientation.

6. I can easily buy postcards, books, greeting cards, and magazines featuring relationships like mine.

7. I don't have to worry about being fired or denied housing because of my sexual orientation.

8. I can be sure that if my spouse is in the hospital and incapacities, I can visit and will be consulted about any decisions that need to be made.

9. Insurance provided by my employer covers my spouse and my children.

10. Hand holding with my love is seen as acceptable and endearing.

11. I can serve my country in the military without lying or keeping silent about my family.

12. I can keep pictures of my loved one on my desk at work without fear or reprisal.

13. I will receive all of my deceased spouse's estate, tax-free.

14. I never need to change pronouns when describing the events of my life in order to protect my job, my family, or my friendships.

15. If I'm a teenager, I can enjoy dating, first loves, and all the social approval of learning to love appropriately.

16. If I'm called to work with children or to serve God (in most denominations). I don't have to violate my integrity and lie in order to keep my job.

17. As a responsible and loving adult, I can adopt without lying about my sexual orientation.

18. I feel welcomed and accepted in my church.

19. I can be certain that my children won't be harassed because of my sexual orientation.

20. I can count on my community of friends, strangers, and institutions to celebrate my love and my family, mourn my losses, and support my relationships.

21. I can be pretty sure that my roomate, hallmates and classmates will be comfortable with my sexual orientation.

22. When I talk about my heterosexuality (such as in a joke or talking about my relationships), I will not be accused of pushing my sexual orientation onto others.

23. I do not have to fear that if my family or friends find out about my sexual orientation there will be economic, emotional, physical or psychological consequences.

24. I did not grow up with games that attack my sexual orientation (IE fag tag or smear the queer).

25. I am not accused of being abused, warped or psychologically confused because of my sexual orientation.
I can go home from most meetings, classes, and conversations without feeling excluded, fearful,
26. attacked, isolated, outnumbered, unheard, held at a distance, stereotyped or feared because of my sexual orientation.

27. I am never asked to speak for everyone who is heterosexual.

28. I can be sure that my classes will require curricular materials that testify to the existence of people with my sexual orientation.

29. People don't ask why I made my choice of sexual orientation.

30. My sexual orientation was never associated with a closet.

31. People of my gender do not try to convince me to change my sexual orientation.

32. I don't have to defend my heterosexuality.

33. I can count on finding a therapist or doctor willing and able to talk about my sexuality.

34. I am guaranteed to find sex education literature for couples with my sexual orientation.

35. Because of my sexual orientation, I do not need to worry that people will harass me.

36. I have no need to qualify my straight identity.

37. My masculinity/femininity is not challenged because of my sexual orientation.

38. I am not identified by my sexual orientation.

39. I can be sure that if I need legal or medical help my sexual orientation will not work against me.

40. If my day, week, or year is going badly, I need not ask of each negative episode or situation whether it has sexual orientation overtones.

41. Whether I rent or I go to a theater, Blockbuster, an EFS or TOFS movie, I can be sure I will not have trouble finding my sexual orientation represented.

42. I can walk in public with my significant other and not have people double-take or stare.

43. I can choose to not think politically about my sexual orientation.

44. I do not have to worry about telling my roommate about my sexuality. It is assumed I am a heterosexual.

45. I can remain oblivious of the language and culture of LGBTQ folk without feeling in my culture any penalty for such oblivion.

46. I can go for months without being called straight.

47. I'm not grouped because of my sexual orientation.

48. My individual behavior does not reflect on people who identity as heterosexual.

49. In everyday conversation, the language my friends and I use generally assumes my sexual orientation. For example, sex inappropriately referring to only heterosexual sex or family meaning heterosexual relationships with kids.

50. People do not assume I am experienced in sex (or that I even have it!) merely because of my sexual orientation.

51. Nobody calls me straight with maliciousness.

52. People can use terms that describe my sexual orientation and mean positive things (IE "straight as an arrow", "standing up straight" or "straightened out" ) instead of demeaning terms (IE "ewww, that's gay" or being "queer" ) .

53. I can if I wish arrange to be in the company of people of my sexuality most
of the time.

54. If I should need to move, I can be pretty sure that my neighbors in such a
location will be neutral or pleasant to me.

55. When I am told about our national heritage or about "civilization," I am
shown that people of my sexuality made it what it is.

56. I can be sure I will not be denied insurance, employment or credit due to
my sexuality.

57. I can arrange to protect my children most of the time from people who
might not like them.

58. I can remain oblivious of the culture and customs of homosexuals and
bisexuals without feeling in my culture any penalty for such oblivion.

59. I can be pretty sure that if I ask to talk to "the person in charge," I
will be facing a person of my sexuality.

60. I needn't hide my sexuality in certain situations for personal safety.

61. I can leave a nightclub consisting mostly of people of my sexuality
knowing I will not get harassed or attacked for my sexuality.

62. I can go home from most meetings of organizations I belong to feeling
somewhat tied in, rather than isolated, out-of-place, outnumbered, unheard,
held at a distance, or feared.

63. I need not fear financial and emotional truncation from my family simply
due to my sexuality.

prose before hoes

  

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Topic Outline
Subject Author Message Date ID
Peace
May 10th 2007
1
Be blessed
May 10th 2007
2
wow...
May 10th 2007
3
blank.....these fuckers never listen
May 10th 2007
4
this is a real conversation which is highly being ignored
May 10th 2007
6
Right, folx can spit opinion and such...
May 10th 2007
11
chill regular, fam
May 10th 2007
7
why?
May 10th 2007
8
      e-motion-al... n/m
May 10th 2007
12
      so is the what do heterosexuals feel about gay pride post
May 10th 2007
15
           that was a wind-up post
May 10th 2007
18
                ^^self included
May 10th 2007
26
      Some heterofolk get it.. Not everyone is blind as hell
May 10th 2007
36
           you acting like i said: kilan doesn't get it
May 10th 2007
45
                RE: you acting like i said: kilan doesn't get it
May 10th 2007
53
                     come on, blank can make that decision regardless of what i say
May 10th 2007
56
                     right on.
May 10th 2007
59
                     what's good brother...
May 10th 2007
57
                          Might be the case.. I think we agree.. just got different perspectives
May 10th 2007
63
                               *refuses to agree to agree*
May 10th 2007
70
                                    You want a piece of me Akon?
May 10th 2007
78
yea but my soul wont accept my silence
May 10th 2007
16
im not saying be silent.
May 10th 2007
24
      word, it's easy to become jaded
May 10th 2007
31
                               lol, they beat buckle with a belt
May 10th 2007
62
                                    as soon as i read the article...the entire scene appeared in my head.
May 10th 2007
67
nvm
May 10th 2007
47
RE: blank.....these fuckers never listen
May 11th 2007
110
*CARRIES THE TORCH*
May 10th 2007
5
.
May 10th 2007
9
youse a cool cat Miss...
May 10th 2007
10
RE: youse a cool cat Miss...
May 10th 2007
28
basically!!!
May 10th 2007
29
what lingo said.
May 10th 2007
43
IN YO FACE NIGGA!
May 10th 2007
13
shortly after i sashay across that stage, homie.
May 10th 2007
44
peace lil' sis....
May 10th 2007
14
exactly...
May 10th 2007
21
true...
May 10th 2007
25
season four was some ass.
May 10th 2007
48
thank you
May 10th 2007
46
yo, this almost made me cry
May 10th 2007
17
i've had the same thought...about the pill thing...
May 10th 2007
50
      RE: i've had the same thought...about the pill thing...
May 11th 2007
111
right.
May 10th 2007
19
RE: right.
May 10th 2007
22
      ??????????????????
May 10th 2007
23
thanks for speaking out for us babe
May 10th 2007
20
but of course...
May 10th 2007
51
oh, hugs, and thanks for DC pride last year!
May 10th 2007
30
man u got a chance to leave the country...
May 10th 2007
33
      im torn, i feel like im doing too much
May 10th 2007
52
           last time i went to escuelita's i was tempted to burn it to the ground.
May 10th 2007
55
           !!!
May 10th 2007
64
                lol i went to one somewhere in the lower east side not too long ago.
May 10th 2007
66
           RE: im torn, i feel like im doing too much
May 11th 2007
114
                !!
May 11th 2007
119
RE: heterosexual privilege.
May 10th 2007
32
I feel bad for you, and I don't hate you or homosexuals in general
May 10th 2007
34
thanx...
May 10th 2007
41
Thank you for responding once again...
May 10th 2007
90
      no problem...
May 10th 2007
96
RE: I feel bad for you, and I don't hate you or homosexuals in general
May 10th 2007
75
      Back up offa me man...
May 10th 2007
85
           'phobia' means an aversion to, as well.
May 11th 2007
122
powerful posting, fam. powerful. peace to you.
May 10th 2007
37
word. peace to you.
May 10th 2007
38
my mother doesnt love me.....
May 10th 2007
39
get a blog
May 10th 2007
40
i heard "Leviticus: Faggot" playing in my mind as i read this (i love th...
May 10th 2007
49
aka, m'shell ndegeocello appreciation post
May 10th 2007
54
      that song really hipped me to the suffering that gay folx can expereince
May 10th 2007
65
by the way...peace, thanks and respect to all the positivity in here...
May 10th 2007
60
SAY IT LOUDER, BLANK.
May 10th 2007
68
thanx, man...
May 10th 2007
69
      ^^ strong woman.
May 10th 2007
71
word...& congrats on the degree.
May 10th 2007
72
thanx...u comin to the parade this year?
May 10th 2007
73
I respect you for both for getting through what was obviously a ...
May 10th 2007
74
man you are getting a big ass
May 10th 2007
76
yay!!!
May 10th 2007
77
      my father is so laid back its ridiculous
May 10th 2007
82
           i'm ashamed of how jealous i can be of ppl with openminded parents
May 10th 2007
84
********Syncere's 1st annual KickBall tournament Bitches!********
May 10th 2007
79
hetero in post showing 100 percent support
May 10th 2007
80
damn. i felt this.
May 10th 2007
81
ur reply + sn = a rare smile from what is usually the blankest stare
May 10th 2007
83
my best friend is independently wealthy
May 10th 2007
86
word.
May 10th 2007
88
      and that hurts because our mother's love is what we want first and most
May 10th 2007
91
           exactly...
May 10th 2007
97
YOU HAVE ISSUES WITH THIS LONG ASS POST
May 10th 2007
87
i can't help how many privileges heterosexuals have.
May 10th 2007
89
look at yourself before judging others fucking loon
May 11th 2007
113
ah the clown arrived to the party
May 11th 2007
117
damn..congrats on getting your degree..
May 10th 2007
92
thank u much...
May 10th 2007
93
i am really late to this party
May 10th 2007
94
archive
May 10th 2007
95
respect due
May 10th 2007
98
I'm late as hell, but I feel you
May 10th 2007
99
you should move to san francisco
May 10th 2007
100
if i moved to cali...it would be for the bud.
May 10th 2007
101
      well, lemme know if you come
May 10th 2007
106
I hope you find a profound peace that is deeper...
May 10th 2007
102
i've accepted that my own happiness is more important that my moms...
May 10th 2007
104
bless up
May 10th 2007
103
Wow, I'm so sorry.
May 10th 2007
105
"Keep ya head up" - Tupac
May 10th 2007
107
Light! Peace!
May 10th 2007
108
RE: heterosexual privilege.
May 11th 2007
109
If you read this and can't understand the issue, u have no soul
May 11th 2007
112
I agree.
May 11th 2007
115
i'm sorry for the way you were treated
May 11th 2007
116
it exists but on a limited level...and it's been a very long road.
May 11th 2007
121
i never understand
May 11th 2007
118
FUCK A CHURCH
May 11th 2007
120
You keep doing the good shyte you're doing
May 11th 2007
123

lingo
Charter member
61467 posts
Thu May-10-07 10:24 AM

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1. "Peace"
In response to Reply # 0


          

  

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afrogirl
Member since Aug 16th 2002
16597 posts
Thu May-10-07 10:27 AM

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2. "Be blessed"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

n/m

******************************************

Please welcome baby Askia into the world!! 10/16/10.

  

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earthseed
Member since Feb 26th 2004
26989 posts
Thu May-10-07 10:35 AM

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3. "wow..."
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

that's just, wow.

now go runtelldat, ho.

  

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akon
Charter member
26987 posts
Thu May-10-07 10:36 AM

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4. "blank.....these fuckers never listen"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

you can say it howevermanytimes in howevermanyways...

it never gets through.

it's always about; oh you make a choice
(like that makes it okay to be treated like shit or less than normal.)
or you can choose not to show it (why would anyone want to do this?)/
or stop being all over each other in public
how disgusting, two men, but two women is cool
or seek help.
or whatever.
fuck 'em

.
http://perspectivesudans.blogspot.com/
i myself would never want to be god,or even like god.Because god got all these human beings on this planet and i most certainly would not want to be responsible for them, or even have the disgrace that i made them.

  

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lingo
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61467 posts
Thu May-10-07 10:38 AM

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6. "this is a real conversation which is highly being ignored"
In response to Reply # 4


          

because the very ones speaking that googly googly goo...don't know how to address this.

  

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RemyMartin
Charter member
92322 posts
Thu May-10-07 10:44 AM

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11. "Right, folx can spit opinion and such..."
In response to Reply # 6


  

          

..."It's wrong!!"

Why?

"because it is!!"

Why?

"shutup"

Just like the "nappy headed hoes" discussions, it's just the dominant sexual orientation dictating the rules instead of the dominant sex.

======
FLASH!!

  

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iKilan
Member since Nov 01st 2004
66873 posts
Thu May-10-07 10:40 AM

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7. "chill regular, fam"
In response to Reply # 4


  

          

<-- exits a post like...

  

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akon
Charter member
26987 posts
Thu May-10-07 10:42 AM

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8. "why?"
In response to Reply # 7


  

          

.
http://perspectivesudans.blogspot.com/
i myself would never want to be god,or even like god.Because god got all these human beings on this planet and i most certainly would not want to be responsible for them, or even have the disgrace that i made them.

  

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Angelo
Member since Jul 18th 2002
20517 posts
Thu May-10-07 10:44 AM

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12. "e-motion-al... n/m"
In response to Reply # 8


  

          


<-------- foundation inna London

"I cannot dissociate myself from the future that is proposed for my
brother. Every one of my acts commits me as a man. Every one of my
silences, every one of my cowardices reveals me as a man."

Frantz Fanon

  

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lingo
Charter member
61467 posts
Thu May-10-07 10:47 AM

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15. "so is the what do heterosexuals feel about gay pride post"
In response to Reply # 12


          

which seems to be the catalyst to this one

  

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Angelo
Member since Jul 18th 2002
20517 posts
Thu May-10-07 10:50 AM

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18. "that was a wind-up post"
In response to Reply # 15


  

          

and niggas fall for the oke doke every time...


<-------- foundation inna London

"I cannot dissociate myself from the future that is proposed for my
brother. Every one of my acts commits me as a man. Every one of my
silences, every one of my cowardices reveals me as a man."

Frantz Fanon

  

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lingo
Charter member
61467 posts
Thu May-10-07 10:58 AM

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26. "^^self included"
In response to Reply # 18


          

  

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iKilan
Member since Nov 01st 2004
66873 posts
Thu May-10-07 11:18 AM

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36. "Some heterofolk get it.. Not everyone is blind as hell"
In response to Reply # 8


  

          

Im sure just as many doors were shut due to her sexuality, and anyone else's, there were a few doors open because someone understood.

Person what she wrote out was extremely necessary and valid. it should have been posted, and someone who was oblivious just might get it. Someone who already got it just got affirmation to keep there eyes open because this type of discrimination and mistreatment and close mindedness is still alive

support this shit. dont act like its all on deaf ears. like heteros dont give a fuck.. we do.

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akon
Charter member
26987 posts
Thu May-10-07 11:38 AM

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45. "you acting like i said: kilan doesn't get it"
In response to Reply # 36
Thu May-10-07 11:40 AM by akon

  

          

i was addressing the folks that despite whateever you say or do
do not seem to get it.

and i can say that because we've spent overwhelming amounts of time and energy trying to do just that.

folks that get it, get it,
folks that make *certain* kinds of posts, dont
and it might take a brick before they do.

i dont see why you are taking it personal.

why dont you, chill regular, fam.

.
http://perspectivesudans.blogspot.com/
i myself would never want to be god,or even like god.Because god got all these human beings on this planet and i most certainly would not want to be responsible for them, or even have the disgrace that i made them.

  

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iKilan
Member since Nov 01st 2004
66873 posts
Thu May-10-07 11:50 AM

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53. "RE: you acting like i said: kilan doesn't get it"
In response to Reply # 45


  

          

>i was addressing the folks that despite whateever you say or
>do
>do not seem to get it.
>
>i dont see why you are taking it personal.
>
>why dont you, chill regular, fam.


Im not taking it personal... dont think im offended, or man. Im just saying chill on not backing this. dont be so harsh on straight folk and the validity of the posts message

... i knew what you were saying, but thats like people telling Malcolm not to speak his mind because niggers aint trying to hear it and whitey DAMN sho aint listening

Its better off if she tries to say it, you never know who she might affect. not just me, but the next person.

I dont think her words were wasted.

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akon
Charter member
26987 posts
Thu May-10-07 11:53 AM

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56. "come on, blank can make that decision regardless of what i say"
In response to Reply # 53
Thu May-10-07 11:55 AM by akon

  

          

or how i say it.

my opinion does not influence in any shape or form what she chooses to say/ how she expresses herself.

her reaction is to explain her situation,

mine is to say fuck 'em.

they are both valid.

.
http://perspectivesudans.blogspot.com/
i myself would never want to be god,or even like god.Because god got all these human beings on this planet and i most certainly would not want to be responsible for them, or even have the disgrace that i made them.

  

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iKilan
Member since Nov 01st 2004
66873 posts
Thu May-10-07 11:56 AM

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59. "right on."
In response to Reply # 56


  

          

my bad

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BlankStare
Member since Jul 29th 2003
5201 posts
Thu May-10-07 11:55 AM

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57. "what's good brother..."
In response to Reply # 53


  

          

lol @ the above exchange. i think she and you agree with, but misunderstand each other.

prose before hoes

  

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iKilan
Member since Nov 01st 2004
66873 posts
Thu May-10-07 12:05 PM

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63. "Might be the case.. I think we agree.. just got different perspectives"
In response to Reply # 57


  

          

thats how it goes.

You a tough ass sistas to me though. poweful post indeed. im glad you put it up.

I hate you had to deal with all that ignant shit, but damn if it didnt make you good people anyway.

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akon
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26987 posts
Thu May-10-07 12:39 PM

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70. "*refuses to agree to agree*"
In response to Reply # 63


  

          

it's cool, fam.

.
http://perspectivesudans.blogspot.com/
i myself would never want to be god,or even like god.Because god got all these human beings on this planet and i most certainly would not want to be responsible for them, or even have the disgrace that i made them.

  

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iKilan
Member since Nov 01st 2004
66873 posts
Thu May-10-07 01:32 PM

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78. "You want a piece of me Akon?"
In response to Reply # 70


  

          

<-- exits a post like...

  

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BlankStare
Member since Jul 29th 2003
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Thu May-10-07 10:47 AM

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16. "yea but my soul wont accept my silence"
In response to Reply # 4


  

          

prose before hoes

  

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akon
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Thu May-10-07 10:57 AM

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24. "im not saying be silent."
In response to Reply # 16


  

          

not at all
i think its important to explain to folks what heterosexual priviledge is about
(it's not even the big things for me, it's the assumptions folks make about you)
i've just become increasingly frustrated with how people think/feel here
we've spent an incredible amount of time and energy talking/discussing/debating this over and over again
and it never gets anywhere.
it almost feels like nobody changes their opinion (moral or otherwise).

so yeah, i did say that out of frustration.

and also because i increasingly refuse to accomodate people
with the naive belief that if i explain my point of view they just might get it.

.
http://perspectivesudans.blogspot.com/
i myself would never want to be god,or even like god.Because god got all these human beings on this planet and i most certainly would not want to be responsible for them, or even have the disgrace that i made them.

  

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BlankStare
Member since Jul 29th 2003
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Thu May-10-07 11:07 AM

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31. "word, it's easy to become jaded"
In response to Reply # 24


  

          

most of the time i don't even bother. i never look to change opinions tho...just to put the truth out there. the parade post jus pushed me above my threshold, straight up.

prose before hoes

  

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akon
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62. "lol, they beat buckle with a belt"
In response to Reply # 61


  

          

i still remember that story, btw.

it's unfortunate, tho.

.
http://perspectivesudans.blogspot.com/
i myself would never want to be god,or even like god.Because god got all these human beings on this planet and i most certainly would not want to be responsible for them, or even have the disgrace that i made them.

  

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BlankStare
Member since Jul 29th 2003
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Thu May-10-07 12:31 PM

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67. "as soon as i read the article...the entire scene appeared in my head."
In response to Reply # 62


  

          

i knew what the fuck really happened. cuz i've been there so many times. i never retaliate tho...because i'm non-violent and also because shit like this is likely to follow.

how the fuck do you go to jail and YOU'RE the victim?

prose before hoes

  

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sunchild
Member since Sep 05th 2005
13797 posts
Thu May-10-07 11:38 AM

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47. "nvm"
In response to Reply # 4
Thu May-10-07 11:43 AM by sunchild

  

          

im going to inbox u

-----------
At the very least, one can agree that having the people who have victimized you quantify your mistreatment invokes a sizable conflict of interest.

  

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boyd
Member since May 15th 2006
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Fri May-11-07 01:27 AM

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110. "RE: blank.....these fuckers never listen"
In response to Reply # 4


  

          



and my reply, "i don't want to see a man and a woman all the time fon-do-ling, either."

  

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eclipsedInI
Member since Jul 29th 2002
92865 posts
Thu May-10-07 10:38 AM

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5. "*CARRIES THE TORCH*"
In response to Reply # 0


          

peace & light ma

this post is sincerely felt

i love my gay-bi friends

_____________________
puttin' the roota in the toota since 98'

  

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unfukwitable
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Thu May-10-07 10:43 AM

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9. "."
In response to Reply # 0


  

          


======================================
http://www.flickr.com/photos/tade/

  

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Angelo
Member since Jul 18th 2002
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Thu May-10-07 10:43 AM

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10. "youse a cool cat Miss..."
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

that list is some straight biting offa that white privilege one though, shit is kinda hodge podge...





<-------- foundation inna London

"I cannot dissociate myself from the future that is proposed for my
brother. Every one of my acts commits me as a man. Every one of my
silences, every one of my cowardices reveals me as a man."

Frantz Fanon

  

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lingo
Charter member
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Thu May-10-07 10:58 AM

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28. "RE: youse a cool cat Miss..."
In response to Reply # 10


          

>that list is some straight biting offa that white privilege
>one though, shit is kinda hodge podge...


doesn't make it any less accurate

  

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BlaizeBlack26
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Thu May-10-07 11:02 AM

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29. "basically!!!"
In response to Reply # 28


          

like the shit aint true anyway.

i've said it a million times, some of the smartest ppl turn MEGADUMB when sexuality is discussion...

  

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BlankStare
Member since Jul 29th 2003
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Thu May-10-07 11:37 AM

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43. "what lingo said."
In response to Reply # 10


  

          

prose before hoes

  

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Esco
Charter member
44856 posts
Thu May-10-07 10:45 AM

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13. "IN YO FACE NIGGA!"
In response to Reply # 0


          

j/k

when you comin through to start that forest fire?

  

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BlankStare
Member since Jul 29th 2003
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Thu May-10-07 11:37 AM

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44. "shortly after i sashay across that stage, homie."
In response to Reply # 13


  

          

prose before hoes

  

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maybetomorrow
Member since Oct 20th 2004
17407 posts
Thu May-10-07 10:45 AM

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14. "peace lil' sis...."
In response to Reply # 0
Thu May-10-07 10:46 AM by maybetomorrow

  

          

i'm trying not to cry @ my desk....

congratulations for finishing school and striving to live your life on your terms as best you can.

it's tons of stuff i want to say without sounding corny...i go to type something then i backspace.

peace & light,

maybe you will bless us with your all seeing third
eye, bitch ©earthqueen

Bitch it does NOT take a village. It takes ONE person doing her job right. © janey

I shook my head and said "Bitch, I'm from the south! Home of twerkers! © Laz AKA Black Native

  

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earthseed
Member since Feb 26th 2004
26989 posts
Thu May-10-07 10:52 AM

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21. "exactly..."
In response to Reply # 14


  

          

there's alot that can be said, but it would all just be babble if i tried to type it all.

i got much love for blankstare tho, that's my L Word buddy, lol.


um, ms. cyn, i need to email you.

now go runtelldat, ho.

  

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maybetomorrow
Member since Oct 20th 2004
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Thu May-10-07 10:57 AM

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25. "true..."
In response to Reply # 21


  

          

i've never interacted with her, but based on my observations....she's cooler than the other side of the pillow.

zee-zee: my e-mail addy is ageniuschild at gmail.com

maybe you will bless us with your all seeing third
eye, bitch ©earthqueen

Bitch it does NOT take a village. It takes ONE person doing her job right. © janey

I shook my head and said "Bitch, I'm from the south! Home of twerkers! © Laz AKA Black Native

  

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BlankStare
Member since Jul 29th 2003
5201 posts
Thu May-10-07 11:38 AM

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48. "season four was some ass."
In response to Reply # 21


  

          

much love, tho.

prose before hoes

  

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BlankStare
Member since Jul 29th 2003
5201 posts
Thu May-10-07 11:38 AM

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46. "thank you"
In response to Reply # 14


  

          

>i'm trying not to cry @ my desk....
>
>congratulations for finishing school and striving to live your
>life on your terms as best you can.
>
>it's tons of stuff i want to say without sounding corny...i go
>to type something then i backspace.
>
>peace & light,

prose before hoes

  

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BlaizeBlack26
Charter member
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Thu May-10-07 10:48 AM

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17. "yo, this almost made me cry"
In response to Reply # 0


          

if there was a pill or something that turned gay people straight, i think the gay population would be significantly smaller.

seriously. and thats sad because WE'RE not the problem.

  

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BlankStare
Member since Jul 29th 2003
5201 posts
Thu May-10-07 11:40 AM

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50. "i've had the same thought...about the pill thing..."
In response to Reply # 17


  

          

but i loooooove women, lol.

prose before hoes

  

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boyd
Member since May 15th 2006
7654 posts
Fri May-11-07 01:41 AM

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111. "RE: i've had the same thought...about the pill thing..."
In response to Reply # 50


  

          

>but i loooooove women, lol.


i will definitely co sign on that one....women are too beautiful

  

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Deluge
Charter member
64710 posts
Thu May-10-07 10:51 AM

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19. "right."
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

i laugh @ how people on here claim to be openminded but as soon as sexuality comes in they turn out to be the most narrow minded homophobic mofos on earth.

  

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petals1016
Member since Oct 14th 2003
5411 posts
Thu May-10-07 10:53 AM

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22. "RE: right."
In response to Reply # 19


          

>i laugh @ how people on here claim to be openminded but as
>soon as sexuality comes in they turn out to be the most narrow
>minded homophobic mofos on earth.


so ture so true.. they're racist to homosexuals.. shoe's on the other foot and they running scared!

  

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Angelo
Member since Jul 18th 2002
20517 posts
Thu May-10-07 10:54 AM

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23. "??????????????????"
In response to Reply # 22
Thu May-10-07 10:56 AM by Angelo

  

          

>so ture so true.. they're racist to homosexuals.. shoe's on
>the other foot and they running scared!

Is there any sense in this nonsense????



<-------- foundation inna London

"I cannot dissociate myself from the future that is proposed for my
brother. Every one of my acts commits me as a man. Every one of my
silences, every one of my cowardices reveals me as a man."

Frantz Fanon

  

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petals1016
Member since Oct 14th 2003
5411 posts
Thu May-10-07 10:52 AM

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20. "thanks for speaking out for us babe"
In response to Reply # 0
Thu May-10-07 10:52 AM by petals1016

          

YOU DID GOOD!!!!! MISS LADY!!!

thank you thank you thank you!!!!

  

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BlankStare
Member since Jul 29th 2003
5201 posts
Thu May-10-07 11:41 AM

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51. "but of course..."
In response to Reply # 20


  

          

prose before hoes

  

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akon
Charter member
26987 posts
Thu May-10-07 11:07 AM

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30. "oh, hugs, and thanks for DC pride last year!"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

I *really should reconsider and come to NYC in june
but im still not sure, yet.

.
http://perspectivesudans.blogspot.com/
i myself would never want to be god,or even like god.Because god got all these human beings on this planet and i most certainly would not want to be responsible for them, or even have the disgrace that i made them.

  

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BlankStare
Member since Jul 29th 2003
5201 posts
Thu May-10-07 11:12 AM

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33. "man u got a chance to leave the country..."
In response to Reply # 30


  

          

we'll miss u but the choice is clear. i'm looking forward to it tho.

and i gotta find out where that party's gonna be since they closed down those clubs...

prose before hoes

  

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akon
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Thu May-10-07 11:47 AM

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52. "im torn, i feel like im doing too much"
In response to Reply # 33


  

          

going to stockholm for 4 days (max)
and then a month later i'll be back in london headed to kenya.

and then i was thinking: i dont think i'll be in the u.s next summer either.

but, have a blast for me!

find the party spot(s) in nyc,
(not escuelita), when i move ima need a hang out
(and not francesca's either)

.
http://perspectivesudans.blogspot.com/
i myself would never want to be god,or even like god.Because god got all these human beings on this planet and i most certainly would not want to be responsible for them, or even have the disgrace that i made them.

  

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BlankStare
Member since Jul 29th 2003
5201 posts
Thu May-10-07 11:52 AM

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55. "last time i went to escuelita's i was tempted to burn it to the ground."
In response to Reply # 52


  

          

actually the last three times...which coincidentially were the only three times.

we'll find a place. u into burlesque shows n shit?

prose before hoes

  

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akon
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Thu May-10-07 12:06 PM

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64. "!!!"
In response to Reply # 55


  

          

u into burlesque shows n shit?


(now we are talking)

.
http://perspectivesudans.blogspot.com/
i myself would never want to be god,or even like god.Because god got all these human beings on this planet and i most certainly would not want to be responsible for them, or even have the disgrace that i made them.

  

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BlankStare
Member since Jul 29th 2003
5201 posts
Thu May-10-07 12:14 PM

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66. "lol i went to one somewhere in the lower east side not too long ago."
In response to Reply # 64


  

          

it was decent too...like more artistic than raunchy. but i'd much rather go to a show like that than a club.

prose before hoes

  

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Konnex
Member since Nov 27th 2002
606 posts
Fri May-11-07 04:50 AM

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114. "RE: im torn, i feel like im doing too much"
In response to Reply # 52


  

          

>going to stockholm for 4 days (max)
>and then a month later i'll be back in london headed to
>kenya.
Vipi dada? Let me know when you're in London and let's finally build.
Peace and blessings.

  

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akon
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Fri May-11-07 08:19 AM

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119. "!!"
In response to Reply # 114


  

          


>Vipi dada? Let me know when you're in London and let's finally
>build.

email yako ni? yangu: nidhamu@gmail

nipe yako na nitakuaeleza lini naja.
nadhani june 21st niko london (masaa kadhaa), lakini nitakuwa nikienda stockholm.

naenda home august- nitapitia huko for a day or two.

tutabonga, au?

.
http://perspectivesudans.blogspot.com/
i myself would never want to be god,or even like god.Because god got all these human beings on this planet and i most certainly would not want to be responsible for them, or even have the disgrace that i made them.

  

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kaleidoscopechile
Member since May 12th 2006
8 posts
Thu May-10-07 11:10 AM

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32. "RE: heterosexual privilege."
In response to Reply # 0
Thu May-10-07 11:11 AM by kaleidoscopechile

  

          

I am sorry you have to go through what you have to go through. I am heterosexual..so perhaps I am unable to fully sympathize with your situation..but I try to teach my children about the diversity of our society..and surround them with people who express love in different ways..books like "King and King"..are incorporated equally with all other stories and tales...I accept..and hopefully my children will accept the diversity of the world..I know its hard now..but hopefully as people become more educated..and by persons like yourself sharing your story..perspectives will change..
My minister is a happily committed gay man..and I had the pleasure of attending his "wedding" ceremony..although it wasn't legal..we overrode the "rules" with joy and love that day..and I'm sure this sounds more happy and hopeful than the reality..but I really believe in the next generation..or two..people will be ashamed to be homophobic..or it will be something as embarrasing as being publically racist.

  

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tREBLEFREE
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Thu May-10-07 11:15 AM

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34. "I feel bad for you, and I don't hate you or homosexuals in general"
In response to Reply # 0


          

First of all, congratulations on graduating. It is amazing that you have perservered (sp?) through such adversity.

>to the heterosexuals who show love and tolerance...peace.

Thanks.

I didn't see you in my post I made a while back, so let me ask you a couple questions:

1.) No matter how many times it's discussed, I always seem to come to the point of the word "homophobia" indicating some sort of fear. In YOUR opinion, is someone homophobic because they don't agree with every aspect of homosexual life, even if they support your right to live the way you choose to live?

2.) Your love of women as opposed to men - was that a choice, or do you feel you were born that way? Elaborate on either answer...

3.) Do you liken the struggle of being gay to the Civil Rights struggle (as it pertains to blacks being accepted by whites in the 60's)? If so, why? If not, why not?

Thanks in advance for answering...



www.myspace.com/treblemusick - Album coming 2007

www.omniversal.net - It ain't what you doin'...we're a family, not a movement...

tR&B May/June 2007: http://sharebee.com/356046fb

  

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BlankStare
Member since Jul 29th 2003
5201 posts
Thu May-10-07 11:34 AM

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41. "thanx..."
In response to Reply # 34


  

          

>1.) No matter how many times it's discussed, I always seem to
>come to the point of the word "homophobia" indicating some
>sort of fear. In YOUR opinion, is someone homophobic because
>they don't agree with every aspect of homosexual life, even if
>they support your right to live the way you choose to live?

it is a term used loosely, imo. i agree with the concept because people fear what they don't understand. and fear can breed other emotions...resentment, intolerance, hatred, etc. and i only have a problem when people try to disrupt or disrespect my life. my sister doesn't agree with my sexuality...but everyone has their own opinion and i don't try to force mine on her. i don't consider her homophobic. and even though i know she doesn't agree with my sexuality, she accepts me, loves me, and has often acted as a buffer between my parents and i.

>2.) Your love of women as opposed to men - was that a choice,
>or do you feel you were born that way? Elaborate on either
>answer...

i've always been a tomboy. i've only had one boyfriend, and he was like a best friend, not a boyfriend. we played ball together and played cards for pushups. he broke up with me after four months because he said i was gay...before i really knew myself. i mean, i'm able to find dudes attractive...but i have no desire to have any kind of sexual contact with them. i've never had sex with a man and never wanted to. so i would assume i was born gay. that whole debate is kind of irrelevant to me tho. the fact is i'm a lesbian.


>3.) Do you liken the struggle of being gay to the Civil Rights
>struggle (as it pertains to blacks being accepted by whites in
>the 60's)? If so, why? If not, why not?

people always wanna compare some shit. there are many similarities but i accept the differences. but discrimination is discrimination to me. point blank. and i'm in both of the struggles.

prose before hoes

  

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tREBLEFREE
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Thu May-10-07 02:29 PM

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90. "Thank you for responding once again..."
In response to Reply # 41


          

Understanding & respect begins with dialogue and I appreciate your time.

>it is a term used loosely, imo. i agree with the concept
>because people fear what they don't understand. and fear can
>breed other emotions...resentment, intolerance, hatred, etc.
>and i only have a problem when people try to disrupt or
>disrespect my life. my sister doesn't agree with my
>sexuality...but everyone has their own opinion and i don't try
>to force mine on her. i don't consider her homophobic. and
>even though i know she doesn't agree with my sexuality, she
>accepts me, loves me, and has often acted as a buffer between
>my parents and i.

This is what I needed to hear.

Thank you.

>>3.) Do you liken the struggle of being gay to the Civil
>Rights
>>struggle (as it pertains to blacks being accepted by whites
>in
>>the 60's)? If so, why? If not, why not?
>
>people always wanna compare some shit. there are many
>similarities but i accept the differences. but discrimination
>is discrimination to me. point blank. and i'm in both of the
>struggles.

The reason I asked this, is because I made a post a while back, and the main idea of the post was how it angered me that homosexuals compare their struggle to the Civil Rights movement. I theorized that being gay is a choice. I now realize that was kind of disrespectful, but I personally can't comprehend the idea of being born gay, unless you're a hermaphodite.

All of a sudden, for feeling this way, I'm a homophobe.

I don't fear, resent or hate homosexuals, so that theory offended and angered me.

If anything, I feel that you have the right to live the way you choose, as long as it doesn't infringe upon the rights of others. That's only fair.

The same way that I don't choose to look at a whole bunch of naked straight people walkin' around in the street claiming their heterosexuality, is the same way I wouldn't choose to look at a whole bunch of naked homosexuals doing it.

I understand that gatherings of people that have like minds brings comfort and camaraderie, hell, that's why I joined okp (back when everybody on here were fans of The Roots by default - lol); but then too, some of those parades I've seen seem to celebrate the wrong aspects of that life. It gives off the impression that being homosexual is just relentless debauchery...and I don't think it is.

I have a HUGE amount of respect for homosexuals who manage to maintain relationships with their partners for years or decades. As a matter of fact, I've been tryin' to find one of my high school teachers who I believe was gay...she made a real difference in my life as a person and she's been on my mind lately.

So yeah, thanks again for discussing this with me...

  

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BlankStare
Member since Jul 29th 2003
5201 posts
Thu May-10-07 02:46 PM

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96. "no problem..."
In response to Reply # 90


  

          

prose before hoes

  

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tricky99
Member since Aug 25th 2005
714 posts
Thu May-10-07 01:16 PM

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75. "RE: I feel bad for you, and I don't hate you or homosexuals in general"
In response to Reply # 34


  

          

U seem to go around and around in a circle with this topic. What answer are u looking for? How much testimony do u need? If a 1000 gay people give u similar answers how many more do u need to reach understanding? Not to offend u but u remind me of the white person that can't seem to shake the notion that black people are as smart as u or feel love like u or hurt like u. The power to step out of yourself and try on life of someone else will set mind free in the end. peace.

  

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tREBLEFREE
Charter member
26709 posts
Thu May-10-07 02:13 PM

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85. "Back up offa me man..."
In response to Reply # 75


          

When I made that post about homophobia, my attempt was to understand a people and their beliefs, not ridicule them.

My main theory was that I didn't like the term "homophobia" because the deifinition of phobia to me is fear - and I don't fear homosexuals or what they practice. I don't practice it myself, but that doesn't mean I can't coexist with them.

I admit, I brought my religious opinions into the post, but in NO WAY did I condemn homosexuals for their lifestyle. The way Akon attacked me was as if I can't stand gays at all, and I took offense to that...

  

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Quixotic
Charter member
22719 posts
Fri May-11-07 10:01 AM

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122. "'phobia' means an aversion to, as well."
In response to Reply # 85


  

          

but on your issue with pride marches suggesting that all of gay life is debauchery...

Freaknik?
Black Bike Week?
Mardi Gras?

straight people wylin' out.

how is that different?

~G.D.

  

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DawgEatah
Charter member
49225 posts
Thu May-10-07 11:19 AM

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37. "powerful posting, fam. powerful. peace to you."
In response to Reply # 0


  

          


http://fuck-your.blogspot.com
http://www.myspace.com/insightclopediabrown
http://www.myspace.com/dumhi
http://www.youtube.com/group/okayplayer
http://www.last.fm/user/DawgEatah
R.I.P. 3rd i

  

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PlanetInfinite
Charter member
126184 posts
Thu May-10-07 11:26 AM

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38. "word. peace to you."
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

this kinda hit me because a few days ago i was reading about violence against homosexuals. from john altherton to giovanni di giovanni to matthew shepard.

shits disgusting.

speaking of. i need to call my cousin. i havne't talked ot her in a month.

>61. I can leave a nightclub consisting mostly of people of my
>sexuality
>knowing I will not get harassed or attacked for my sexuality.
>


http://www.myspace.com/thievinstealberg
http://computerstupid.blogspot.com (4/9/07)

  

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shunjen
Member since Oct 25th 2002
12839 posts
Thu May-10-07 11:26 AM

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39. "my mother doesnt love me....."
In response to Reply # 0


          

thats realer than real...

for real for real...

why do people ride so hard for that which doesnt affect them?

*it is what it is*


go here ---> www.shujen.com/

OK, go now

www.myspace.com/shujen

  

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jwhorl
Charter member
3361 posts
Thu May-10-07 11:27 AM

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40. "get a blog"
In response to Reply # 0


          

  

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nabi
Charter member
22241 posts
Thu May-10-07 11:40 AM

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49. "i heard "Leviticus: Faggot" playing in my mind as i read this (i love th..."
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

congrats on graduating
i consider myself to be fairly openminded
i know i still have some ways to go

__________
"Justice is really love in calculation. Justice is love correcting that which revolts against love..." - MLK

  

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akon
Charter member
26987 posts
Thu May-10-07 11:51 AM

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54. "aka, m'shell ndegeocello appreciation post"
In response to Reply # 49


  

          

for real,
i appreciate her music in more ways than one.

.
http://perspectivesudans.blogspot.com/
i myself would never want to be god,or even like god.Because god got all these human beings on this planet and i most certainly would not want to be responsible for them, or even have the disgrace that i made them.

  

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nabi
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22241 posts
Thu May-10-07 12:08 PM

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65. "that song really hipped me to the suffering that gay folx can expereince"
In response to Reply # 54
Thu May-10-07 12:11 PM by nabi

  

          

i mean i always *knew* but the combination of the story + the funk in that song hit me like a ton of bricks...

__________
"Justice is really love in calculation. Justice is love correcting that which revolts against love..." - MLK

  

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BlankStare
Member since Jul 29th 2003
5201 posts
Thu May-10-07 11:58 AM

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60. "by the way...peace, thanks and respect to all the positivity in here..."
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

it would be a waste of bandwidth to hit everyone back individually...but i am appreciative.

prose before hoes

  

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SoWhat
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154163 posts
Thu May-10-07 12:32 PM

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68. "SAY IT LOUDER, BLANK."
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

and WOW...i didn't know your story. you've alluded to the trouble w/your mother but i didn't know the details. wow! that's all i can say.

and peace to you.

and like akon said, fuck 'em if they don't get it. FUCK 'EM.

fuck you.

  

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BlankStare
Member since Jul 29th 2003
5201 posts
Thu May-10-07 12:37 PM

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69. "thanx, man..."
In response to Reply # 68


  

          

and, homie i didn't/couldn't even type the half of it.

okp would shit down if i posted all the torment i've faced in the past 9 years.

prose before hoes

  

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SoWhat
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154163 posts
Thu May-10-07 12:45 PM

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71. "^^ strong woman."
In response to Reply # 69


  

          

fuck you.

  

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R A i n
Member since Dec 11th 2003
51902 posts
Thu May-10-07 12:46 PM

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72. "word...& congrats on the degree."
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

  

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BlankStare
Member since Jul 29th 2003
5201 posts
Thu May-10-07 12:57 PM

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73. "thanx...u comin to the parade this year?"
In response to Reply # 72


  

          

prose before hoes

  

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ellamichelle
Member since Aug 08th 2005
1182 posts
Thu May-10-07 12:57 PM

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74. "I respect you for both for getting through what was obviously a ..."
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

...horrible set of situations, and for taking the high road after all of the venom being tossed in the other post.

Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to get through this thing called life.

  

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luvlee2003
Charter member
16524 posts
Thu May-10-07 01:29 PM

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76. "man you are getting a big ass"
In response to Reply # 0


          

hug from me when we meet up in NYC.

You are a soldier man. You're story is both terrifying (as i get mentally prepared to have a sit down with my folks) and inspiring.

peace kid.

www.twitter.com/luvlee2003

  

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BlankStare
Member since Jul 29th 2003
5201 posts
Thu May-10-07 01:31 PM

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77. "yay!!!"
In response to Reply # 76


  

          

are your folks open minded?

prose before hoes

  

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luvlee2003
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16524 posts
Thu May-10-07 01:58 PM

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82. "my father is so laid back its ridiculous"
In response to Reply # 77


          

he's only concerned with how the car's running, hows the job and hows the apartment.

my mom is more on the dramatic side. In the worse case scenario she's likely to call for an extended family(grandparents, cousins, aunts and uncles) meeting over something like this. She won't come at me from the "youre going to hell" standpoint but i do worry that she'll go the "why are you doing this to me?!" angle. not looking forward to it.

I do see that nothing that happens could ever be as bad as what you had to go through. That encourages me to be strong(er).

www.twitter.com/luvlee2003

  

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BlankStare
Member since Jul 29th 2003
5201 posts
Thu May-10-07 02:08 PM

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84. "i'm ashamed of how jealous i can be of ppl with openminded parents"
In response to Reply # 82


  

          

ur dad reminds me of mine.

my mother is the 13th disciple...i was all sorts of demons and abominations. also she feels that everything i do is a reflection of her parenting. and also if she doesn't save my soul, she'll have to answer to God for it.

best wishes...i don't know your to offer any REAL advice, but...best wishes.

and thank you.

prose before hoes

  

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iKilan
Member since Nov 01st 2004
66873 posts
Thu May-10-07 01:33 PM

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79. "********Syncere's 1st annual KickBall tournament Bitches!********"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

<-- exits a post like...

  

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J_Stew
Member since Jul 06th 2002
22363 posts
Thu May-10-07 01:37 PM

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80. "hetero in post showing 100 percent support"
In response to Reply # 0


          

  

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Sad Puppy Eyes
Member since Mar 26th 2003
11038 posts
Thu May-10-07 01:54 PM

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81. "damn. i felt this."
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

thank you.

peace.

  

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BlankStare
Member since Jul 29th 2003
5201 posts
Thu May-10-07 02:05 PM

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83. "ur reply + sn = a rare smile from what is usually the blankest stare"
In response to Reply # 81


  

          

thank YOU.

prose before hoes

  

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janey
Charter member
123120 posts
Thu May-10-07 02:14 PM

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86. "my best friend is independently wealthy"
In response to Reply # 0
Thu May-10-07 02:16 PM by janey

  

          

and gay.

A rich man. We think money can buy pretty much anything and I'll tell you the truth -- it has insulated him from a LOT of issues.

But it's still illegal for him to marry. And his money didn't insulate him from the sting of homophobic jokes told at his nephew's rehearsal dinner. His nephew, who loves him and knows that he's gay, but whose friends are the typical hetero-normative "No Homo" rich boys.

A very good friend who died of AIDS in the early 90s was also from a very very wealthy family. He died destitute, because his father cut him off when he found out Roger was gay.

I know this isn't exactly on point, but in light of some of the posts from yesterday about wealth/income and race, I thought this might add something to the conversation.

  

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BlankStare
Member since Jul 29th 2003
5201 posts
Thu May-10-07 02:20 PM

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88. "word."
In response to Reply # 86


  

          

i missed yesterday's posts, but what you're saying is true. i've rekindled the relationship with my mother...but only on a limited basis. i KNOW she'll never accept me for who i am. no matter what, she'll never be TRULY proud of me because i love women. my degree, or any kind of money won't change that.

prose before hoes

  

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janey
Charter member
123120 posts
Thu May-10-07 02:30 PM

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91. "and that hurts because our mother's love is what we want first and most"
In response to Reply # 88


  

          

I'm straight, but my mother was an alcoholic and so our relationship was very, very difficult.
When I told my mother I was becoming a nun, she told me not to do it.
When I wrote to her and told her I was leaving the monastery, she wrote back and said stay there.
When I told her I was getting married, she said not to do it.
When I told her I was getting divorced, she said not to do it.

Not to mention the fact that when my sister converted to Judaism to marry, my mother was completely freaked out, and when I was seriously involved with a Black man, my mother was completely freaked out.

Now, I happen to have in hand the awareness that she really just thought she was trying to help, but knowing that doesn't make it a whole lot easier.

But I really believe that the number of people who have strong and positive relationships with their mothers is much much smaller than you and I think. I think because we have shitty relationships with them, we tend to see other people's mothers through rose-colored glasses.

I think what I'm trying to say here is that there's a great likelihood that if your mother is the kind of person who withholds love because she doesn't approve of your sexual orientation, then even if you were heterosexual, she would find a way to withhold love from you. I know you know this, but let me just underscore it: Don't let her disapproval affect your own self-image. We can't do it, you and I and PungeePyPy who wrote yesterday about his mother not believing that he was in his studio until 3 am and all the rest of us on the boards who have mother problems. If we let our mothers' views of us deeply affect us, they will seriously fuck up our lives and our relationships.

Sending you lots of positive energy. xxoo

  

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BlankStare
Member since Jul 29th 2003
5201 posts
Thu May-10-07 02:48 PM

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97. "exactly..."
In response to Reply # 91


  

          

it took a lot of counseling to be able to see things objectively. it doesn't make the situation itself any easier...but it does help in how i react to the situation.

thank u for the positivity...

prose before hoes

  

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3X
Member since Oct 18th 2004
7667 posts
Thu May-10-07 02:19 PM

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87. "YOU HAVE ISSUES WITH THIS LONG ASS POST"
In response to Reply # 0
Thu May-10-07 02:22 PM by 3X

  

          

WWW.PEOPLECANCHANGE.COM

you look like a man on your myspace page. what the fuck is the white man putting in the food and water?

-------
It's incredible how the people that know the least are the first to offer advice.

  

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BlankStare
Member since Jul 29th 2003
5201 posts
Thu May-10-07 02:21 PM

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89. "i can't help how many privileges heterosexuals have."
In response to Reply # 87


  

          

prose before hoes

  

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Deluge
Charter member
64710 posts
Fri May-11-07 03:26 AM

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113. "look at yourself before judging others fucking loon"
In response to Reply # 87


  

          

  

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Warp and Woof
Member since Dec 05th 2002
9999 posts
Fri May-11-07 06:25 AM

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117. "ah the clown arrived to the party"
In response to Reply # 87


          

but wait, he's drunk.


I'm #ffffff

  

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phillyjawn
Member since Oct 18th 2004
37690 posts
Thu May-10-07 02:34 PM

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92. "damn..congrats on getting your degree.."
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

peace boo

  

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BlankStare
Member since Jul 29th 2003
5201 posts
Thu May-10-07 02:37 PM

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93. "thank u much..."
In response to Reply # 92


  

          

prose before hoes

  

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quadrush
Member since Apr 16th 2003
21414 posts
Thu May-10-07 02:43 PM

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94. "i am really late to this party"
In response to Reply # 0
Thu May-10-07 02:53 PM by quadrush

  

          

but i appreciate what you wrote. so many of us have to deal with shit like this everyday.

also, i know right now it seems as though your mom does not love you but i would be willing to wager that it's not you but her own issues that she is dealing with. i always try to pply the devils advocate so i will say this: don't let the anger you feel for the way your mom acted make you dislike or hate her, instead think about what she must have been though or is going through in her life and mind to make her treat her daughter in that way. she obviously is dealing with her own demons and this is in no way an attempt to excuse her actions cause she is wrong. just see it from another view. hurting people hurt people.

  

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Shimmy
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45923 posts
Thu May-10-07 02:44 PM

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95. "archive"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

please!

“Your body is not a temple, it’s an amusement park. Enjoy the ride.” Anthony Bourdain

  

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J_Sun
Charter member
33505 posts
Thu May-10-07 03:04 PM

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98. "respect due"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

June 22, 2007 ~ Two Become One

DROkayplayer: I'm a Professional Weed Smoker. Not because of how MUCH weed I smoke, but because of how WELL I smoke it.

  

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Miscellaneous
Member since May 14th 2005
2176 posts
Thu May-10-07 03:23 PM

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99. "I'm late as hell, but I feel you"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

I regard myself as pretty aware and open mindede - I don't personally have any issues at all with LGBTQ people. But reading that story and just thinking of having to defend myself against that everyday and not even have my parents in my corner...man. Keep on doing what you do girl.

...........................................................................
don't play me like an extra/ I've got speaking roles

"power without love is reckless and abusive, and love without power is anemic and sentimental." - MLK Jr.

  

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rick
Charter member
3696 posts
Thu May-10-07 03:51 PM

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100. "you should move to san francisco"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

gay folks run this town.

pretend to be cats don't seem to know they limitations
exact replication and false representation

  

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BlankStare
Member since Jul 29th 2003
5201 posts
Thu May-10-07 04:04 PM

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101. "if i moved to cali...it would be for the bud."
In response to Reply # 100


  

          

prose before hoes

  

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rick
Charter member
3696 posts
Thu May-10-07 06:37 PM

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106. "well, lemme know if you come"
In response to Reply # 101


  

          

and ill set you up with a home delivery service that would knock your socks off.

seriously though, why not move to an environment more tolerant of homosexuality?

pretend to be cats don't seem to know they limitations
exact replication and false representation

  

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Phenomenality
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31242 posts
Thu May-10-07 04:12 PM

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102. "I hope you find a profound peace that is deeper..."
In response to Reply # 0
Thu May-10-07 04:12 PM by Phenomenality

  

          

than all the pain you've had to endure..

blessings to you.. forreal.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

  

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BlankStare
Member since Jul 29th 2003
5201 posts
Thu May-10-07 04:21 PM

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104. "i've accepted that my own happiness is more important that my moms..."
In response to Reply # 102


  

          

that has helped greatly. and thank u.

prose before hoes

  

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killah
Member since Jun 08th 2006
7375 posts
Thu May-10-07 04:12 PM

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103. "bless up"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

I could relate to your story a little
all of that only makes us stronger. peace

__________________________________

no regrets

  

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HeavenLei
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35941 posts
Thu May-10-07 06:36 PM

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105. "Wow, I'm so sorry."
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

Peace to you.
------------------------------
I'm so famous.(c) Joi
www.myspace.com/heavenleiblumoon

  

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Walk Wit Me85
Member since Sep 08th 2005
5456 posts
Thu May-10-07 06:50 PM

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107. ""Keep ya head up" - Tupac"
In response to Reply # 105


  

          

.....................................

http://www.myspace.com/theyounggarvey
"Paint a picture of the Ghetto like JJ"- Common

  

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Pimp.Philosopher
Member since Apr 23rd 2007
573 posts
Thu May-10-07 06:53 PM

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108. "Light! Peace!"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

Sorry this is happened to you, you know, it sucks. But you must be one strong person 2 get through it all. Respect.

<<<---- Me and my Aunt/bestfriend

"Me??! I'm a creator." - SANTOGOLD

  

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boyd
Member since May 15th 2006
7654 posts
Fri May-11-07 01:25 AM

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109. "RE: heterosexual privilege."
In response to Reply # 0


  

          


beautiful said.

  

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FireBrand
Charter member
145739 posts
Fri May-11-07 01:42 AM

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112. "If you read this and can't understand the issue, u have no soul"
In response to Reply # 0
Fri May-11-07 01:42 AM by FireBrand

  

          

"Everywhere I rest I get treated like a King, I'm the sire here...you can read it in 'em cards, the FIRE's here..." (c) Jay Electronica

Blog: www.abenghorn.net/Heat.html
Myspace: www.myspace.com/abenghorn

  

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jose3030
Charter member
59161 posts
Fri May-11-07 04:57 AM

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115. "I agree."
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Iltigo
Charter member
8609 posts
Fri May-11-07 05:36 AM

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116. "i'm sorry for the way you were treated"
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especially by your "church going" parents

love the sinner, hate the sin. people always forget that.

how is your relationship with your folks now? does it exist at all?

  

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BlankStare
Member since Jul 29th 2003
5201 posts
Fri May-11-07 09:41 AM

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121. "it exists but on a limited level...and it's been a very long road."
In response to Reply # 116


  

          

after i officially came out to my mother, she started with the denial. often she thanks God for my deliverance and tells me how God told her He was sending me a husband, etc.

i've tried to tell her that i'm still gay and she won't listen. "i don't receive that, i don't receive that..." but at the same time she'll freak out if i come by with braids.

so to keep a relationship with her, i compromise. i try to understand that all she has is God and church, she's never going to change, so i have to be the bigger person. and that means i tailor my clothes, conversation, and appearance to appease her when i'm around her. if she happens to start fussing, i leave.

my sister is a great help, tho. she often will intercept bs from my mother before it gets to me.

prose before hoes

  

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rashad
Member since Mar 21st 2007
4457 posts
Fri May-11-07 07:07 AM

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118. "i never understand"
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parents and friends who think the cure-all for homosexuality is sending someone to church.. its the equivalent of sending a child molestor to the Neverland ranch

  

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Walk Wit Me85
Member since Sep 08th 2005
5456 posts
Fri May-11-07 08:57 AM

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120. "FUCK A CHURCH"
In response to Reply # 118
Fri May-11-07 08:57 AM by Walk Wit Me85

  

          

FUCK THE 700 CLUB
AND FUCK PAT ROBERSON

....mybad, just venting

.....................................

http://www.myspace.com/theyounggarvey
"Paint a picture of the Ghetto like JJ"- Common

  

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Skyezgrrl
Member since Mar 20th 2005
8452 posts
Fri May-11-07 02:15 PM

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123. "You keep doing the good shyte you're doing"
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keep ya head up and your eyes focused on your future...

Dee

Should a person do good, let him do good over and over again. Let him find pleasure therein, for blissful is the accumulation of good ~ Buddhist teachings

Av: was taken in January. I've got a bit more hair now.

  

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