in this post i'm going to post up random anecdotes about my dad.

he gets in the dumbest situations.

here we go.

RIC, va.
http://www.myspace.com/thievinstealberg
http://computerstupid.blogspot.com (4/9/07)

one day back in the 70s my father decides to drive out to the county to buy a revolver.

as my mother would say "he loved that gun more than he loved his family. he cleaned the gun more than he cleaned your sister when she was a baby."

so apparently he didn't clean it enough to know to take the bullets outta the frigging gun.

my mother hears a whizz by her head.
and she looks behind her and there's a hole in the wall.
they just moved in and they would have to pay for that shit.

also...make sure when you clean a gun, don't point the barrel at your loved ones.

and in true george fashion he utters "welp. i guess the gun is empty NOW"

RIC, va.
http://www.myspace.com/thievinstealberg
http://computerstupid.blogspot.com (4/9/07)

maybe your dad was trying to take her out, but he was so cheap he only bought one bullet and then played it off after he missed.

R.I.P. Loud But Wrong Guy
Dec 29th 2009 - Dec 17th 2017

well...he's not the killing type.


he WAS in vietnam tho.
so who knows.

RIC, va.
http://www.myspace.com/thievinstealberg
http://computerstupid.blogspot.com (4/9/07)

back in like 2000, my dad and my stepmother go to a bank down on 60 something street in chicago.

as she goes to the atm, some homeless dude whips it out and proceeds to pee like a foot away from my stepmother.

my father, in true george fashion, jumps out of the car and curses the homeless man out. the homeless man curses him out. and you know when two old men argue, THEY'RE GOING TO FIGHT IT OUT.

they scuffle for a bit and my stepmother pulls him off of the homeless dude. homeless dude's penis is still whipped out by the way (no hobo). that has nothing to do with the story...it's just funny to say. homeless dude's penis is still whipped out.

later my pops realizes that he broke one of the teeth that he had left in his mouth. so you know he's pissed. you got like 15 teeth and wearing dentures and a homeless dude (with his penis out) breaks one of your teeth.

and that story segues into...

RIC, va.
http://www.myspace.com/thievinstealberg
http://computerstupid.blogspot.com (4/9/07)

(no hobo) LMAO
didn't you fight a homeless dude for a pizza some time back?

:::::::

"And the more you hit something hard, the more hardened it becomes--the stronger it becomes. And that's what's happened: I'm resilient." - Michael Jackson

:::
http://sweetcreams.tumblr.com/

i'll kill a hobo for my giordanos.

everytime i ride the blue line to clark/lake my blood boils.

RIC, va.
http://www.myspace.com/thievinstealberg
http://computerstupid.blogspot.com (4/9/07)

makes me miss home now....that damn crust...yea I'd fight a homeless person too for some giordonos

http://www.myspace.com/lifespoetry
"Real recognize real, and you lookin kinda unfamiliar..."(c) Riley Freeman

http://b2.lilypie.com/2RIRm4.png
http://bd.lilypie.com/q8Atm4.png

...so my father being old and black. he's racist. duh. but not like "kill all the crackers" racist. more like "i'll trust a black murderer before i trust a white banker" racist.

he talks to a dentist and the dentist sets up an appointment.

(btw. correction. i just realized that the fight didn't happen in 2000 but in 2001 right after 9/11. you'll find out how i just remembered that in a bit.)

so my father goes in gets checked out. and i guess the dentist quoted him a certain price. cool.

after the appointment, the dentist gives him a different price. OH BLOODY HELL.

and again. my father, flies off the handle, cursing him out in every language he knows (english, 70s jive, and nigga) and leaves the dentists office, with the little neck towel thing around his neck and didn't even bother paying for the checkup.

the next week, he finally finds a black dentist and gets it fixed.

RIC, va.
http://www.myspace.com/thievinstealberg
http://computerstupid.blogspot.com (4/9/07)

btw. he called an indian dude a terrorist sand nigga and said he's gonna call the cops to have him deported. lol.

RIC, va.
http://www.myspace.com/thievinstealberg
http://computerstupid.blogspot.com (4/9/07)

but I laughed

this part killed me
>cursing him out in every language he knows (english, 70s jive, and nigga) <

__________________________________

no regrets

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------------------------------
I'm so famous.(c) Joi
www.myspace.com/heavenleiblumoon

i probaly would have kicked dude's ass if that was me and he was pissing near me damn ........





R.I.P B.J.S

R.I.P Simmon

aim:jkadetoye2

I've learned...
That under everyone's hard shell is someone who wants to be appreciated and loved.

Life is what happens while you are making plans.

http://www.myspace.com/olajumoke78

this entire post is filled with great examples of why you gotta be able to laugh at life



"The last thing they wanted was a principled nigger." - Billy Harris

my dad knew my mom for no more than like 3 weeks.

he had a bright orange cadillac.

she worked in a record store.

he walks in.

throws a box with a wedding ring in it up on the counter.

and says to my mother:




"now we married"




and walks out.





































what? ain't no more story.



OH SWEET LOVE.

RIC, va.
http://www.myspace.com/thievinstealberg
http://computerstupid.blogspot.com (4/9/07)

i'm only HALF joking. :p

---------

http://facebook.com/rebeccadunne

In my version of the story your dad is played by CLifton Powell

R.I.P. Loud But Wrong Guy
Dec 29th 2009 - Dec 17th 2017

<--- #LoveCitees

message brought to you by...

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>In my version of the story your dad is played by CLifton
>Powell


WATCH ME DUKE, WATCH ME!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bumXSdsMYMI
www.myspace.com/mrwizworld

www.myspace.com/shamelessplug
www.myspace.com/theyesyesyalls
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www.myspace.com/flourescentmoustache

------------------------------
I'm so famous.(c) Joi
www.myspace.com/heavenleiblumoon

my boo wrote 'sheba belongs to knowledge' on my arm and we been kickin it ever since lol

www.mybabystayfresh.com

btw. sweety is a dude.
some old running partner of his from back in the day.
he died last fall.

and sweety was a big player back in the day. he had about a dozen girlfriends and no job. so he had time.

one day my father was riding with my moms and he rides past one of sweety's girlfriends' houses.




sweety is hanging out of the second story window butt ass naked.



sweety falls.


my father pulls the car over into the lawn and checks on sweety. sweety says 5 words:


"get me outta here nigga!"


well...the benefits of being a player? available sex. maybe some money. companionship with multiple women. variety.

consequences? one of the girlfriends finding out about another girlfriend. and if you fuck the girlfriend's mother as well...well...you're double fucked.

because the daughter spent her time beating up on the other woman while the mother brandished an old school roscoe p coltrane revolver. right in mid-stroke. two women. one of then with a pistol.

one of the bullets went through his thigh.

one almost hits my father's car (i just realized that was the FIRST time she almost got shot...shit. my mother was like a rapper. i'm wondering how i even got here).

the other ones woulda been in sweety if my father didn't intervene.

"BABY BABY. I'M SORRY. ION'T LOVE HER THO!"

my father "don't kill him baby. this is my friend. don't kill him in front of me, babe."

she lowers the gun.

my father "NIGGA RUN!"

sweety runs to lord knows (my father said that was one of the last times he saw him. he saw him 10 years later then the next time was on his deathbed) and my father wrestles the gun outta the woman's hands.










i forget to ask where the fuck the name sweety comes from tho.

RIC, va.
http://www.myspace.com/thievinstealberg
http://computerstupid.blogspot.com (4/9/07)

old players had names like that.

:::::::

"And the more you hit something hard, the more hardened it becomes--the stronger it becomes. And that's what's happened: I'm resilient." - Michael Jackson

:::
http://sweetcreams.tumblr.com/

RIC, va.
http://www.myspace.com/thievinstealberg
http://computerstupid.blogspot.com (4/9/07)

:::::::

"And the more you hit something hard, the more hardened it becomes--the stronger it becomes. And that's what's happened: I'm resilient." - Michael Jackson

:::
http://sweetcreams.tumblr.com/

RIC, va.
http://www.myspace.com/thievinstealberg
http://computerstupid.blogspot.com (4/9/07)

for some reason, my father likes to buy random things that nobody wants/likes.

case in point: a 4 foot metal statue of a nude woman.

i was 3 when they bought it.

by the time i was 6, i knew a lot about the female body.

even though she was really short, in hindsight, she was pretty proportionate. i guess back then she had c cups? they felt like DDs tho. because my hands were so small.


"don't bring that thing into our home"

"why not? it's nice. and it was 50 dollars."

"it's naked and we have two children"

"then we'll put it in the corner"


i wonder where the fuck that statue is. wait till she sees me now.

RIC, va.
http://www.myspace.com/thievinstealberg
http://computerstupid.blogspot.com (4/9/07)

like, old school photos. women are topless and stuff but wearing really fancy hats and stuff.

i never really thought much of it, but looking back i guess it was kinda weird. i now know that it freaked most of my friends out when they came over. "why do you have pictures of naked women everywhere?" "i dunno. my mum likes them."


...

---------

http://facebook.com/rebeccadunne

that was my moms all the way with ethnic nudes all about the house, i wasnt too embarrased by them, but when outsiders came over they would STARE so hard lol

F*ck cake-make, just exfoliate yatches, exfoliate

http://tinyurl.com/lgsu3
http://myspace.com/mikdoodle

when the dad gets the lamp shaped like a womans leg.

----------------------------------------
www.myspace.com/tobi75
*I am a girl*

"Today is going to be a good day. Today will be a good day because *I* SAID it will." (c ) Charles the positive thinker

Faith that goes forward triumphs.

------------------------------
I'm so famous.(c) Joi
www.myspace.com/heavenleiblumoon

stories.

and on a related note, when's the last time SPM told a Rell story!

R.I.P. Loud But Wrong Guy
Dec 29th 2009 - Dec 17th 2017

and i remember that story that notalent told about zeb.


this was back in like 03 yo. oh shit.

RIC, va.
http://www.myspace.com/thievinstealberg
http://computerstupid.blogspot.com (4/9/07)

I literally just gfawed real loud at work.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

June 22, 2007 ~ Two Become One

DROkayplayer: I'm a Professional Weed Smoker. Not because of how MUCH weed I smoke, but because of how WELL I smoke it.

i'll keep it short and sweet because i'm about to cook something to eat.


a mad dog chases after my sister when she was like 9 i think? i wasn't born yet so i'm going completely by word of mouth and by memory of word of mouth.


my dad gets in between the dog and her.


the dog jumps.


my dad catches it's neck and slams its head against the side of the house (there were in a walkway in between two houses). the dog's neck, i guess broke or something.



in true george fashion, he takes the dog collar and a couple of years later, gives it to the new family dog.

RIC, va.
http://www.myspace.com/thievinstealberg
http://computerstupid.blogspot.com (4/9/07)

>in true george fashion, he takes the dog collar and a couple
>of years later, gives it to the new family dog.

that's like...silence of the dogs...or something...

---------

http://facebook.com/rebeccadunne

RIC, va.
http://www.myspace.com/thievinstealberg
http://computerstupid.blogspot.com (4/9/07)

she was really flustered that day and she was in a real hurry to go out and run some errands.

this cat was 18 years old and liked to sleep in the driveway.

when he was younger, he'd hear the car and move and get out of the way.

now that he was old, though, he didn't. give. a. shit.

he'd hear the car, lift his head up, then go back to sleep.

mum had to physically get out of the car, pick him up and move him somewhere else, then back in/out of the driveway.

this day, though, she was flustered, so she forgot all about the cat.


and reversed over him.



poor pumpkin.

the vet (trying to console me) told me that he wouldn't have been aware of any of it, it would have been like switching off a light.

still, i held him for 2 hours and bawled my eyes out.


we knew he wouldn't live for very much longer, but didn't think he'd die like that.

mum had had his grave dug like 6 months before this incident though, waiting for him to die. the sick thing was that the cat liked to sit next to HIS OWN GRAVE and groom himself. it was absurd.

---------

http://facebook.com/rebeccadunne

i bet you that shit felt like hamburger meat.

RIC, va.
http://www.myspace.com/thievinstealberg
http://computerstupid.blogspot.com (4/9/07)

not a mark.


you bad though :p haha.

---------

http://facebook.com/rebeccadunne

:(

no conundrum, your bars straight hum-drum
young cocoa butter, something like an old tum-tum
a blocka blocka like grandfather mori tanaka
tatonka, chief rocka © heems

--------
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photobloggin' it:
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------------------------------
I'm so famous.(c) Joi
www.myspace.com/heavenleiblumoon

>i'll keep it short and sweet because i'm about to cook
>something to eat.
>
>
>a mad dog chases after my sister when she was like 9 i think?
>i wasn't born yet so i'm going completely by word of mouth and
>by memory of word of mouth.
>
>
>my dad gets in between the dog and her.
>
>
>the dog jumps.
>
>
>my dad catches it's neck and slams its head against the side
>of the house (there were in a walkway in between two houses).
>the dog's neck, i guess broke or something.
>
>
>
>in true george fashion, he takes the dog collar and a couple
>of years later, gives it to the new family dog.
>
>RIC, va.
>http://www.myspace.com/thievinstealberg
>http://computerstupid.blogspot.com (4/9/07)


F*ck cake-make, just exfoliate yatches, exfoliate

http://tinyurl.com/lgsu3
http://myspace.com/mikdoodle

uh. so one morning in chicago, i wake up and i prepare to eat some good breakfast.

too bad my mother went for a job interview that morning. so there was no breakfast.

guess what the fuck my father fixes?

lima beans.








no typo.
lima beans.






truthfully, i've heard worse but lima beans?





anyway. i guess at that age, i didn't like lima beans because i ended up puking them out the second my dad opens the door to drop me off at school.




he takes me home, changes my clothes and tells me to brush my teeth because he was sending me back to school.



like dude, you just made me eat lima beans for breakfast and i puked and i'm going BACK to school?



yeah he is. because he wants to watch the sox game when it comes on at 1.



we pull up to the school and i open the door, that same lima bean vomit is still there staring up at me. ugh.

RIC, va.
http://www.myspace.com/thievinstealberg
http://computerstupid.blogspot.com (4/9/07)

your dad's the greatest yo

__________________________________

no regrets

the dog/cat stories remind of the time my rabbit had a heartattack and my folks told me they took him to the vet but they buried him in the backyard

... and reminds me of the "Angry Dad" cartoon that Bart did of Homer.

<<<<<<<My first born!!! Fresh of my flesh!!!

- I got me a XBOX 360 bootch!!!! Add me! - DJPRYM8
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http://welcometothehabitat.tumblr.com/

it needs more replies

:::::::

"And the more you hit something hard, the more hardened it becomes--the stronger it becomes. And that's what's happened: I'm resilient." - Michael Jackson

:::
http://sweetcreams.tumblr.com/

a few years ago, me my pops and my stepmoms were driving to virginia. me and him took turns driving because my stepmoms wanted to sleep. she just got off work and went straight outta town with us.

a little bit after we enter PA, my pops starts swerving...like HORD. so i'm offering to drive. he's like "im fine. im fine."

SWERVE.

so i turn my ipod headphones down and crack the window and start talking to him so he can stay awake. for 15 minutes we were fine.

he was replying to my conversation and everything.

then i look over and realize.

this nigga was sleep but still talking. ion't know how he did it. by the time i realize that, i look ahead of us and there's a sharp curve going right. my pops decided to take the shortcut straight...

before he did this. i jerked the steering wheel to the right. we're on the road for a second and my dad wakes up startled and turns the wheel to the right SOME MORE. next thing you know we're hitting the butt vibrating portion of the road and we're almost about to drive off the side of the mountain.

he hits the brakes. takes off his seatbelt and curses me out.

NIGGA YOU ALMOST KILLED US.

I SAVED OUR LIVES.

my stepmom: DID HE FALL ASLEEP AGAIN?

YES.

NO I DIDN'T. I HEARD EVERY WORD YOU WAS SAYIN.

BUT YOUR EYES WERE CLOSED.

BUT I WAS AWAKE.

the second we let him be a passenger, he laid there like a newborn fxckin baby, god.

RIC, va.
http://www.myspace.com/thievinstealberg
http://computerstupid.blogspot.com (4/9/07)

lol

half of these stories might as well be "george and eric on the road" stories.

oh god. hilarity.

RIC, va.
http://www.myspace.com/thievinstealberg
http://computerstupid.blogspot.com (4/9/07)

talkin but havin his eyes closed killed me.


the revolution will not be inboxed.

Should a person do good, let him do good over and over again. Let him find pleasure therein, for blissful is the accumulation of good ~ Buddhist teachings

Av: was taken in January. I've got a bit more hair now.

except it was January on the highway up by Lake Tahoe, with the snow heavy and road icy as hell. Pops is half-asleep, car sliding like a hockey puck from lane to lane, and there was traffic. I'm riding shotgun with one hand on the wheel and one hand shaking him, while my moms, brother and sister are in the back praying like none other. Whole situation was comedy...I swear, he only shook awake 'cause I made some comment taking the Lord's name in vain, and he reached to slap me in the back of the head.

*sigh* that guy....

------------------------------------

Sing me a song.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Donuts Are Forever
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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i was thirteen and he found out that i befriended a girl that went to my school. it was a lil puppy love thing but she would come over and play video games with me.

she had a gap in her two front teeth.

"don't mess wit no gap toofed woman. they witches. put that "joose" in your kool aid. you'll be in love wit em for life."

i don't wanna nor never asked what "joose" was or what type of juice it is.

look like witches, but that's just me.

Anyhow, you don't want none of the joos

R.I.P. Loud But Wrong Guy
Dec 29th 2009 - Dec 17th 2017

>"don't mess wit no gap toofed woman. they witches. put that
>"joose" in your kool aid. you'll be in love wit em for life."
>


the revolution will not be inboxed.

~I aspire to be my alter ego~

George and Tony (my dad) sound like they had a lot in common. My sympathies.

********************************

Get Out The Room!
http://getouttheroom.podomatic.com
@fakewilliamkatt

"You probably wouldn't worry about what people think of you if you could know how seldom they do!" - Olin Miller

The 'Sweety' thing...smh...ROFLOL. You could make this into a sitcom. Like The Wonder Years! But black.

"I'm scientific, but my reflex gangsta"- Black Thought

keep going
*****************************************
rosemary's babydaddy
*****************************************

in 2003 or so, i help my stepmother buy a computer so she can get some stuff done from home for work.

and since my father worked for himself, my stepmother suggests that he should start using email to conduct some of the business. (he's a handyman for hire, so he does carpentry work, plumbing, electric, etc) i set up an email address for him and teach him how to access it and reply to emails and stuff.

my father particularly didn't like it because it was easier for him just to call and confirm something rather than send an email. but i told him it would be good sometimes becuase he had a paper trail for his work. he rather rely on his "paper trail" (which is a spiral notebook that is worn from water and dirt and wear and tear, filled with random papers and numbers and notes. he carries it with him everywhere he goes)

so he's able to send emails because he emails me good morning one day. i'm like "aw thats so sweet". a couple of weeks go by.

suddenly i start getting massive amounts of fwds from him. and random stuff. at one point i got 7 emails from him that had fwds.

so later i logon to his gmail account and i check out what the hell is going on. this muggfucker turned his email account into forward central. i looked at his sent folder, he's sent more fwds to me, my stepmom and family than he has to people about actual business.

he sent about 30 to me with fwds. and i see a couple of them in there with the subject line that says "dad, stop sending me this" from my sister.

basically they neva shoulda gave you niggas emails.

i let the fwds go on for another week and i ask him how's the email working out. he tells me more about the forward that he sent about the rat feces found on the cans of coca-cola than he does about actual work. then i ask him about how it's working out for work.

"well...i sent one to carla (one of his clients) cuz shes always on that computer anyway for her job."

but other than that, it wasn't any easier for him. but harder for his family.

so the next day i get on my computer, jump on his gmail account (because i had the password set myself, and of course he didn't change his) and change the password to something that i can't remember right now.

he comes to me one day and he's like "i can't get into my hardware. can you help me?"

what's wrong?

it says wrong password or some shit.

oh. well. it might be that gmail virus that's going on right now.

i wink to my stepmother on some "go with it" shit. because she's getting the billion fwds a day too.

my dad is like "oh. so what can you do?"

at this point it got kinda sad and it was almost like explaining to a 4 year old why spot had to go to the vet to take a nap.

i told him some bullshit about the email taking credit card numbers and he was like "well shit ion't want them takin my damned money anyway, sheeeeeeeeit"

even tho at that point the nigga has been banking at shoebox national bank since the 1950s.

http://www.myspace.com/thievinstealberg
http://computerstupid.blogspot.com (4/9/07)

lmao