Like, Roger Angell making Roberto Clemente sound like some kind of aloof-but-lethal Babylonian god is pretty much doing the same thing as some doofus on twitter saying that Bryce Harper's swing gives him a boner. The doofus, I mean. Not Bryce Harper.

It's the grand, writerly version of "the eye test" and, in a sign that hypocrisy is the only real form of intellectual freedom, one that I'll happily trot out in support of my favorites. But the problem is that it doesn't work if somebody doesn't express themselves beautifully.

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"Walleye, a lot of things are going to go wrong in your life that technically aren't your fault. Always remember that this doesn't make you any less of an idiot"

--Walleye's Dad