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>The girls team I coached was actually a church team, their >original coach backed out at the last minute, one of the >mothers was an assistant but she didn't really have any >experience and didn't want the HC job so I was asked to do it >since the boys season had just ended.
This is pretty much how I started coaching baseball in Chicago. A string of parent volunteers didn't have time and overnight I went from a guy who wanted to help to the only person standing willing to go to every game and fill out a lineup card.
It was kind of nerve-wracking, but at that point you're hooked. If you don't step up, maybe there's no team.
>I was apprehensive at >first because I had never coached girls but it wasn't that >bad. Most of the girls hadn't played as much as the boys but >that was a positive because they hadn't developed bad habits >so they took instruction well and were a lot more coachable >than boys overall. Where as boys try do what they saw Kobe and >Lebron do on tv the night before, girls generally do things >exactly like you tell them to.
I don't think I've ever heard anybody make this observation about coaching girls, but it's congruent with some broader ones - that girls are typically a bit better at staking their egos around team success and coach's approval. I guess if that's true then your observation might logically follow?
>One of the downsides was for a >lot of them basketball just something to do with their friends >and not necessarily a priority so I had to deal with things >like "my mama said I can't come to practice tonight because I >just got my hair done!", lol.
Ha. Rough. The school and the parents where I work just schedule the hell out of these kids and I've heard some eye-rolling excuses. But that one just cuts right to the heart of "this is like fifth or sixth priority to me. you're gonna have to live with that."
>Also to eliminate the >possibility of the appearance of anything inappropriate I made >sure my female assistant coach was present at all times with >any interaction with the girls. A couple of times she wasn't >able to be there and I would appoint one of the other mother's >as my assistant coach.
Big yep. I hate how necessary it is to be this smart. But part of protecting the kids is protecting yourself and not letting there even be the slightest hint of anything.
We had to sit through a three hour training, which was... deeply, deeply grim. It had an interview with a guy who, in the 80's, opened up a roller rink for the purpose of luring in children. He had no interest in roller skating on its own. It was horrifying.
>With boys its all about finding out what makes them tick, some >need a pat on the back, some need a kick in the butt, >figuratively of course.
Pretty much. The only thing I've really learned is (shocker) that you need to pay attention to what they respond to individually.
>>-What's your biggest individual success/failure? > >On the boys church teams I coached I had kids of varying skill >levels. Some played for their school teams and AAU teams and >some who have never played organized ball before ever and the >only team they would probably ever be on was a church team. To >me the biggest joy was seeing those lesser skilled kids >develop and grow and build their confidence. On one of my 7th >grade teams I had a kid who couldn't even make a layup in >practice and didn't play that much in games earlier on but he >hustled hard and became a solid defender/rebounder and earned >himself more and more playing time. The first time he made a >basket in a game his reaction and the reaction of his >teammates was priceless. His dad and I both did everything we >could to fight back the tears, lol.
This made me smile, especially when it's his teammates driving that response. That means you put together something really good.
>As far as failures, a lot. My personal philosophy was at the >youth level players win games and coaches lose games. Whenever >we lost I always to it personally and felt like and I had let >my kids down by not preparing them well enough.
That's not a lot of fun for you, but it means that you keep trying to get better. I work with a lot of really smart, capable coaches who can't seem to get around the (fairly simple but not pleasant) observation that you've come to here: that if they fail then there's something you could have done differently. It seems like an easy bit of self-reflection to you, but I'm shocked at how many successful adults can't be bothered to do it.
And, though it sucks, opportunities to question your work can be really productive if you do it right.
>I used to beat myself up about >things I could've done differently to keep those other girls >engaged.
Yep. I've had this conversation with myself too. And then you get down to a certain point in the logical hole and you're like "nope. that's too far. Now, I'm just pandering."
>My work schedule started getting crazy about 8 or 9 years ago >and I "retired" but I definitely miss it. I still keep in >contact with a lot of the kids, a lot of them have graduated >high school and college and have started careers and families. >I run into some of them around town occasionally and they >still address me as "Coach" and I kinda like that in a corny >sort of way, lol. I'd like to eventually get back into it if >not full-time maybe as someone's assistant.
It's fun catching up with them. I still get dinner with one of my baseball kiddoes whenever I'm back in Chicago. And it's probably a subtle prompt for them to get their own kids involved in sports because it creates a sort of positive continuity there: coaches give a shit about you.
It sounds like you got a lot out of this, and that you did a really good job. I hope that, if the time clears itself, you find something that works for you. ______________________________
"Walleye, a lot of things are going to go wrong in your life that technically aren't your fault. Always remember that this doesn't make you any less of an idiot"
--Walleye's Dad
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