I live in brooklyn

Where ma vie en rose is only what would've been with a different address.
No respect on the cusp,
I had many
Disposable contacts.
People I ran into on the B38 visting a cousin I didn't really like.
I wanted friends of my own.
Real ones
On the other side.

Shift

Pops plucks me up in a Benz,
And we travel to the Fort in a bubble.
He comments on my "hungry" clothes and takes me shopping to satiate himself.
He treats me like his #1 daughther,
And takes me to dinner to celebrate nothing.
But I'm his only daughter.
He just smiles when I tell him.

We sing about my mother (cuz she wanted better for me)
And I let him demonify her sister (cuz she wants my money, not me)
I smile
and
I cringe
Contemplating the definition of "bougie"
And what it means to be that on christmas and kwanza.

Shift

My brother and I split Pop's six figures in half,
3.5 and 2.5, because girls can't be a Jr.
Bro moves to the bronx with his mom-
he starts to braid his hair.
I move from literature to cable-tv with my bitter aunt-
she starts to listen to Nas.
Shit is hard.

Shift

J-line Broadway after dark ceases to trigger fear,
more like curiosity now.
I go to the store when there's nothing to buy.
Learning 'hood life by voluntary immersion.
But there's so much I seem to lack.
My skin is too light.
My hair "takes" too easy.
And my voice is too soft.
And I smile too much.
But I swear I understand.

Shift

Pops smiles,
But he cringes too.
At my new small afro.

I travel the B38 line with confidence to visit a cousin i love.
The street chuckles and points my way:
I am accepted, but only as the prodigal.
Someone on the bus says
"Some people never learn."