That's cool. When you say I am being playful/careless, I think you are referring to the last line in DRAFT A that kind of trails off. See, what I WAS trying to do was test out the delivery style: playful. Kind of like Andre 3000's verse on John Legend's "Greenlight." But I think I need a better recording equipment to show off my intention.

Lyrically, I think if you heard the full thing, you will see where I am going with it...

Anyway, once my laptop is working again, I will finish recording it and put up the full draft.

But if you get a chance to let me know the specifics of the issues you have with the current version, by all means, please, post it -- really appreciate it.

Thanks much for taking the time.

http://www.myspace.com/heremakhetonline