>both my parents are gone. She now feels what I have been
>feeling for the last 10 years and I hate it.
>

MAN. this is what I think about...she went through something I am going to have to go through. I've never seen a person hurt this much in my life.

>worst part is now our kids keep asking when we will pass away
>and shortly after it happened we put the kids to bed and then
>went to the garage to talk.. and out kids left the room
>and thought we passed away.
>
>this shit is too real.
>
>how are your kids handling it?

The kids are 4.5 and 2.5..damn near 5 and 3 really. The older one was sad and he's really focused on dying, like "we gotta be careful about or else you die". They've been clingy as well but it's kinda subsiding. If mom walks out of the room the baby will scream for mommy.

I'm just fucked up thinking that the baby wont remember her.

Let me be 100. I've been a shitty son and it's convenient that MY parents live across the country. I rarely call them, and they don't visit as much as they could because I'm busy and find it stressful to negotiate them visiting (disrupts the flow of our lives). I'm simultaneously glad that they are here, but also stressing because I've wanted them involved in our lives more but the process of getting that going overwhelms me deeply.

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https://soundcloud.com/swageyph/yph-die-with-me