So the past month since the boards took a break, my whole life has been consumed by my Mom's cancer diagnoses.

Founds out on June 26th, that her Colon cancer seemed to had spread to her lungs and other pars of the intestines.

July 14th, we take her to the ER due to a mother of a headache, turns out to be a brain tumor. She had to stay in the hospital to have tests done and to speak with a neurosurgeon. All the focus shifted to the brain. She's scheduled for surgery on the 14th of Aug.

She's been home since the 23rd and the poor thing is miserable from the pain in her head.

I've hadn't dealt with anything like this before. The 1st significant person in my life to pass away was my Grandmom and that was 2 years ago.

I feel a mixture discouragement, numbness, and selfishness. I have never been good at multitasking, so I focus on how I feel and dwell, then move on. But haven't been, moving on. I keep dwelling on me being upset at my mom possibly dying. I'm having hard time focusing on the positives. I get so mad at myself about that.

I stopped excising, eating shit food, ignoring duties at work, and also arguing with my wife. (that will be another post, cuz man did she piss me off).

my mom isn't dead yet, I know that. I can't help but think about it and it just putting me down. Any insight?

Thank you

¿If a fat guy falls in the woods and there is no one around to see it, do the trees laugh?