My mom had full custody of me. My sister and I spent every other weekend + summers in the city with our Dad and stepmom up until my early teens. Thing is, my Dad was often MIA due to his professional obligations and social activities, e.g. golfing with his friends for several on Saturdays.
On top of that, my sister and Dad did not get along at all. Lots of yelling and screaming. I spent a lot of time in my room at my dad's crib scared of what was happening across the hallway.
Beyond that, I just like my mom and her folks better. My mother is not *that* "progressive," but she was more progressive than my father and she understood me. My Dad is on that old school/ Southern/disciplinarian/ your-elders-are-always-right shit. My mom was not. Mind you, I was fairly well-behaved as a kid, unlike my sis.
Another issue, which I think a OKP mod edited out of my original post (or I accidently erased): I'm a little different. I had wrote, jokingly, that in true OKP fashion, I am the black sheep of my family.
So, even when I'm around my mother and her side of the family, my soul gets a little weary. Lots of mental labor. I hate having to explain myself them. It's a real sore spot for me because I've yet to find my chosen family, people I can be my real self around without explanation. Mofos have had damn near 20 years to understand I don't eat and don't believe but they still ask and annoy me about it like I just made the decision five seconds ago. Ack! I'm the only one that does not live a traditional life so, yeah...
I will push back on the notion that my mother having full-time custody explains why I don't want to be around my father/stepmom and their folks. I'm not annoyed or anything. Just know there are plenty of people who don't want to spend time with parents who had full custody of them as kids.
-- "Music is not to be possessed; it's to be shared.” - James Mtume
"Just stay loose, keep it raw, and bang ya drums out sometimes." - Madlib