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Subject: "Dad cheated on mom = skip his vow renewal?" Previous topic | Next topic
BlakStaar
Member since May 29th 2002
1103 posts
Wed Jun-12-19 12:42 PM

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"Dad cheated on mom = skip his vow renewal?"


  

          

I agreed to read a poem at the vow renewal and 25th-anniversary marriage ceremony of my biological father and stepmom last year, but I really don't want to do it. 

Why?
- I generally don't enjoy being around my dad and my stepmother's family.
- Fear of public speaking 
- I agreed to do it two minutes after my stepmother texted me and asked to do back in September. I felt obligated...
- Within weeks of being asked to read the poem https://poets.org/poem/how-do-i-love-thee-sonnet-43], I learned by accident that my Dad cheated on my mom with my stepmother. They met at their church. You see, my biological parents attended separate church services when they were married, and the rest is history.

To be honest, I don't care about my dad's cheating as much as I care about not wanting to read this poem to a large group of people during a formal ceremony. I do not like my voice nor do I care to read a poem in an engaging manner. I'm afraid I'll read it in a monotone-Daria tone, and embarrass myself. 

Subconsciously, I think I came up with using my father's infidelity as an excuse to get out of this.

FYI: I would never tell my father and stepmother I know about the cheating. If I back out, I'll tell them I don't want to read a poem in front of large group of people, which is the truth. 

What say you?

I'm thinking, "Grow up and just go and get it over with." Or pass on the poem but attend the ceremony.

P.S. I'm Black, and yes I really did say, "stepmother" Shout out to my partial suburban upbringing at work. 

--
"Music is not to be possessed; it's to be shared.” - James Mtume

"Just stay loose, keep it raw, and bang ya drums out sometimes." - Madlib

  

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Dad cheated on mom = skip his vow renewal? [View all] , BlakStaar, Wed Jun-12-19 12:42 PM
 
Subject Author Message Date ID
seems like a timing issue.
Jun 12th 2019
1
RE: seems like a timing issue.
Jun 12th 2019
3
how much will reading this mean to your dad/stepmom?
Jun 12th 2019
2
RE: how much will reading this mean to your dad/stepmom?
Jun 12th 2019
4
      i would skip it
Jun 12th 2019
5
Never do anything you don't want to do. For ANYbody.
Jun 12th 2019
6
Not even after you commit to it?
Jun 12th 2019
7
Yep. If your heart isn't in it.....
Jun 12th 2019
9
This right here ^^^^^^^^
Jun 19th 2019
24
Do what you feel is best for all involved? If, after already committing,...
Jun 12th 2019
8
If you don't want to, then don't. period. you're allowed to change your ...
Jun 12th 2019
10
You gave your Word. So, Practice, Spit that Poem and sit down.
Jun 12th 2019
11
This is what I say too, but it's not me.
Jun 12th 2019
12
Go but read it like Roger Rabbit.
Jun 12th 2019
13
Personally, I wouldn’t do it
Jun 12th 2019
14
So mom got you full time after the split?
Jun 12th 2019
15
RE: So mom got you full time after the split?
Jun 13th 2019
18
Unless u walk up in knickers & Shakespearean cosplay outfit
Jun 13th 2019
16
Unless u walk up in knickers & Shakespearean cosplay outfit
Jun 13th 2019
17
RE: Unless u walk up in knickers & Shakespearean cosplay out...
Jun 13th 2019
19
If you don't want to, don't.
Jun 13th 2019
20
Don't make the event about yourself, you committed
Jun 14th 2019
21
Did you do it?
Jun 19th 2019
22
RE: Did you do it?
Jun 19th 2019
23
i backed out once...
Jun 19th 2019
25

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