So we're looking for a house. We have a 7 member family. Me and my bio-daughter are white (blond and pale). My SO, her daughter and 2 lil boys are dark black. And we my SO's daughter has a boyfriend is light-skinned, lives with us and we treat him like our own.

We've been looking for a house to rent in nice neighborhoods. Shit is like a triumph for us because we've never had the opportunity to NOT live in ruff/drug heavy neighborhood. We're all apartment-people so this is the first time we'll have a backyard and all that.

So I found a place that we might look and went for a viewing. Landlord was an older indian guy. Place was great....I have a good job and good salary. Came away from the viewing thinking that we were a lock. So the teenagers asked if they could see it before we made a commitment. So we all went together and the landlord was COMPLETELY different. I'm talking night and day different. Then the next day I got a phone call saying that he already rented it to someone else. The lawn sign and the web ad are still up.

So we decided not to bring our teens for anymore viewings....even beyond the race thing....my SO and I look young. And her daughter's boyfriend is way taller than me...I certainly don't look like his dad (even though our relationship is very much father/son). In anycase...we figured that we kinda look like a motley crue and don't look like a typical family. You might even mistake our teens for being our friends instead of our kids.

So My SO and I go to another property owned by an old Italian guy. As soon as he laid eyes on us....I KNEW that it was a done deal. And it was because my SO was black. Again....she's dark-skinned and I could tell that he was uncomfortable with us straight outta the gate.

So we found another one just yesterday. I struggled with whether or not to even bring up the suggestion that I go to the viewing by myself. Then my SO said 'I wanna say something but I feel hesitant'. So I reply 'Go ahead, it's ok'. "Well I was thinking maybe you should go by yourself". I told her that I was thinking the same thing and that's the route we're taking tomorrow. I have a lot of feelings about this. Angry. I feel really guilty too. I feel guilty for even thinking of suggesting this to my SO and felt grateful that she said it first. I feel guilty that I have to be 'the face' of the family so that we can benefit from my appearance. I feel guilty that I HAVE this benefit. And we've had to face our own prejudices too....we are worried that the landlord will be desi, Chinese, greek or Italian. And we think there's a higher chance that they'll be racist against dark-skinned black people if they are.

We're gonna talk about it with the teens on Sunday when we have our family dinners. The fact is...we don't look like a family. And people are fucked. I'm gonna point out to my bio-daughter that this is one of those things that hasn't even crossed the mind of most white people. A privilege that they often don't even know that they have.