It's been weighing heavily on me...and this is the only place where I can get it out so....here goes.

My father's side of the family is pretty strong, in faith and upbringing. Grandparents had 5 children, 4 boys, 1 girl.

Eldest boy is a pastor, his only child is a pastor. Married over 30 years. Dealt with alcoholism, kicked it in his 20s.

Third boy was my father, married 15 years, divorced but remained the best of friends until my dad's passing...5 of us, one deceased (mentally handicapped), all of us have either dealt with substance abuse and kicked it early or not dealt with it at all. Dad never smoked and didn't drink until he was in his 30s.

4th boy is a real estate entrepreneur, married over 30 years, 5 children, no substance abuse, multiple degrees and a VERY tight knit family. Doesn't smoke or drink.

Baby girl is married with no children, studied and received degrees in ministry, like the eldest dealt with alcoholism and kicked it young.

Then there's the 2nd boy....and my closest uncle geographically. 2 children, boy and a girl. Neither my uncle nor my aunt smoked or drank...but very verbally and physically abusive home.

When I tell you that living in their house was a nightmare.....

The family was dysfunctional. My aunt was violently raped in her late teens and never recovered. Her compensation was reigning terror and wielding control of her family. She browbeat and undressed my uncle...then my uncle would beat her...then they BOTH would beat the children...and the saga continued.

The boy cousin told me about the time he did or said something disrespectful...and my uncle held him upside down by his ankle and hit him in his chest until he peed himself. He was 12.

The girl cousin found her 1st vice when we were still teenagers. Kleptomania. She started getting caught for theft early, and has been in and out of jail for stealing since once she found her other vice...heroin.

The boy cousin went into the military, got married and had a child by the time he was 21....then starting rebelling. He broke up with his wife...when I asked his major reasons were he wanted his freedom and she sucked in bed. He came back from the service around the same time that the 1st generation of my crew started smoking primos. Primos led to just smoking crack straight....and its been downhill ever since.

Between the two of them there is about 20+ arrests, 10 years of jail time and 8 children.

The 1st child for each was before they began their descent. Both ended up living with the other parent and have turned our very well. Then there was about a 10 year gap and children started coming out of the woodwork.

And of course....being unfit parents, often the children had to go live with their grandparents or risk becoming wards of the state. The cycle of verbal abuse continues.

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The worst thing about long term drug addicts is their mental state will never be the same. Reasoning is just fried...and the reality of mental health issues due to substance abuse is an epidemic in our community.

My female cousin hit me up earlier in the week like "Hey cuz....I just got out of rehab....I've got some link (food stamps) to get off...."

I said "Cool...but I'm running with my family today...hit me up 1st thing tomorrow morning and we can work it out"

She hit me back about 9pm that night like "Look cuz....I can just leave it with you, I can come to you and get the money now, what's your address?"

Me: Yo...I don't have that with me and I'm not going to the bank because like I said, I've been out with my children all day...just get at me tomorrow and I got you"

Her: Okay....I'll hit you tomorrow

Haven't heard from her since.

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Boy cousin told me a minute ago that he was working on a hustle and payoff was going to be major. He's like "Look...you've always looked out for me so I am going to hit you off with something because I love you and yadda yadda"

Me: "Look cuz....I go thru my trials but I'm good. The best way for you to pay me off is to TAKE CARE OF YOURESLF."

Cousin: "Whatever nigga I'ma hit you off because I want to and you always give me money without asking for it back"

Me: Whatever, man. Do what you feel.

So apparently, the hustle went off....it included him spending time in a mental hospital and playing the nut roll to get a settlement.

So he starts hitting me with 3 page text messages back to back...asking me about technical shit...telling me I need to keep recording...talking about how he's leaving his wife....all in run on sentences that ramble from topic to topic aimlessly.

I'm driving and I start getting that Facebook Message chirp back to back and I'm like "WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON?" Glance at my phone and see its my cousin and just shake my head.

His wife hit me up talking about how he just disappears and may be on that shit again....I hit him up like "Yo....we need to talk"

Money hits me with a 7 page response about "Fuck that broad" and "I told her ass I didn't want ANOTHER child" and "You need to stop taking sides she ain't telling you the truth"

My response was one line "I said we need to talk"

So he hits me up and I'm like "Look...I didn't even ask you about all of that. I need to make sure YOU are okay. Y'all shit is y'all shit...but you are my cousin and I need to make sure you are taking care of your mental health, 'cause you sounding unstable as shit right now"

I get a rambling response about that just shows he's fucked in the game. He got his settlement...moved out the house into a hotel...and in the past month has spent $3000 in hotel fees...$3000 on lottery tickets...is drinking like a 5th of cognac every other day...PS4, XBox one...new Laptop...

I sit thru all that and I'm like "Nigga...what the fuck are you doing. You are going to burn thru that shit and have nothing to show for it but gadgets..."

**insert rambling response here**....but yo cousin...I said I was gonna give you some money so I'm on my way to your crib right now...

Me: You don't need to do that.
Him: I said I was going to do it I'm on the way....

He comes to my crib...I come down and he's driving an SUV he obviously bought with his cash...slides me 80 bucks and starts rambling about drinking and his wife and everything....

I take the $80 and say "it's here when you need it"

I go upstairs and 15 minutes later he's like "Can you go downstairs and check for my wallet, I may have dropped it"

I look out the window and say "Dude...there is nothing out there...either you didn't drop it or you did and its gone"

A few days later he hits me up with another technical question about a laptop he's trying to buy....

Me: Did you ever find your wallet?
Him: Yeah man.
Me: Word...that's great. Where was it?
Him: ......I forgot I hid it when I came to your house because I was afraid you were going to rob me.


D

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Waldorf and Statler Vol 4:CONAN IS OUT NOW!!!: http://waldorfandstatler.bandcamp.com

and don't forget to check "DVS 4 ALDERMAN"

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